Digital Diary

21/black/non-binary/tme

[un-in-particular]

I can’t explain how incredibly deeply pathetic and pervasive the transmasculine, tme nonbinary, tme queer reflex to gain every fucking crumb of oppressive social capital is--a reflex which is constantly justified in so called trans-friendly queer spaces because we all experience minimum one (1) axis of oppression due to our queerness and so doing whatever it takes to get ours is #valid. Regardless of everyone who isn't in the ingroup. Because as we all know, being queer means we are all equally opressed, and so there really isn't ingroup and everyone excluded from the cryptoterf circlejerk is, surely, like. an ontologically evil cishet republican man lol.

[un-in-particular]

Its the unquestioned reliance on conservative talking points about transfemmes in bathrooms also being used to justify keeping them homeless and unsheltered--nobody bats an eye when they see or create listings for ‘afab’ housing.

The constant bioessentialism in referring to the nature of ‘afab bodies’ and ‘afab oppression’ and 'people raised as girls' as if any of these things form a coherent class with a common interest beyond the continued subjugation of transfems for intangible oppression points.

Claiming that assigned sexgender is inescapable and absolute in order to escape accountability--or any sort of introspection--of what it may mean to be a man or a non woman or a non transfemme in a patriarchal, transphobic, transmisogynistic world.

Co-opting the racialized oppression of black and brown men and black and brown women and insisting that the demonization they face is due to an actual systemic reaction to masculinity and perceived maleness as opposed to being racialized(????)

There is no coherent trans community, there never has been, and there never will be, without addressing how 'i'm literallyyyyyyyyy #transgender and not a cis man, which means i will never experience any modicum of privilege relative to anyone else and my self-reflection is purely elective. im literally nice.' is like. the party line for trans men and transmascs and tme enbies.

[un-in-particular]

im blowing up this dumb fucking earth with my mind

[tlirsgender]

Things people hate hearing:

You are capable of harm

You have some level of power and agency

Ergo it is your responsibility to communicate your needs and boundaries

If you lie to someone about something being okay when it isn't, that is on you

Something being a trauma response doesn't exempt it from harming your relationships and the other people in them

Enabling your trauma responses will not make them go away, and it is your responsibility to work on yourself for your own wellbeing as well as the people around you

Being A Victim cannot be a pillar of your identity forever, and being victimized does not make you incapable of harming other people (see above)

You are not a mouse in a jean jacket you are an eel with a gun / adult human being who can use your words even if it's Scary

Having a personality disorder doesn't make you evil but you have got to get off of Personality Disorder Tumblr (see above, re: enabling)

[tlirsgender]

Deep sigh. You want me to ~be compassionate~ here's the compassionate answer: your trauma will tell you you're a helpless child forever and you need to Not Think This Way for yourself (living under the assumption you're still in danger whether you actually are or not) and everyone else who has to tiptoe around your Sensitivity. That's how you break the cycle and you can only do this by accepting responsibility for your actions. And it seems like a small semantic thing but imo step one is calling yourself a survivor instead of a victim. Self identifying with your victimhood helps No One. You lived, now get up

[mutationgirl]

recently while poking around a little on reddit (mistake), i discovered a post on a subreddit called something along the lines of 'leftwingmen' discussing frustration with progressive people refusing to entertain misandry as a concept. this was about as hilarious and pathetic as you would expect, but the top comment suggested using 'trans*ndrophobia' as a foot in the door to get people to admit to the existence of misandry and leverage from there. it is unsurprising and we have known this for some time, but it is still unsettling to see tboy gamergate being uplifted by the same demographic who gave us the original.

[mutationgirl]

someone in the tags expressed a little incredulity, which I suppose is fair, so I went back to check my work. I did actually make a mistake in this post, - it's not the top comment, it's comment number four when sorted by most upvotes. The screenshot attached has it highlighted, which is why it's showing up first.

[riotdyke-rising]

It's funny that "trans men will sometimes feel the societal pressure to fill the role of masculinity by leaning on misogyny and must be very aware to not do that" used to be kind of a common opinion back when I was helping run that GSA in college, and nowadays it's somehow taboo to bring up.

[carapaced]

This shouldn’t be taboo to say, but I do have a couple issues with how this sentiment has historically been expressed:

1. I don’t like how it assumes that misogyny is inherent to being transmasculine, and that trans men must be “very aware” of that in a unique way to anyone else in the community. Every person raised in a misogynistic society would benefit from examining their relationship to patriarchal gender roles, and I think trans people are usually in a unique position to be farther along in that journey than cis people, man or woman.

2. When the Only thing someone has to say about trans men is to spread the negative traits and stereotypes associated with them, it starts to feel like fearmongering around trans men rather than raising awareness. Again, it’s an issue of sometimes bringing it up when it’s relevant vs meeting trans men every time with “but make sure you aren’t being a misogynist if you’re gonna choose to be a man” which underestimates our intelligence and assumes our ignorance around social issues.

Yes, trans men should be aware not to perpetuate misogyny, so should every member of society.

[riotdyke-rising]

See what I fucking mean, ladies

[carapaced]

I see, I got so excited to have a discussion about the evolution of ideas in queer spaces that I forgot I was on the rampant hatred for transmascs website.

[riotdyke-rising]

See what I fucking mean, ladies

[rebuiltcombatsister]

[coldbrewpup]

the "rampant hatred for transmascs website"???? men really make everything about themselves huh

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

It’s kind of rare these days to see someone so directly match the exact origin of the term sealioning but this guy managed to do it

[deepseametro]

tbh the first step in unlearning shame for yourself is learning how to extend dignity to other people at all times. you need to hold the same standards for everyone. you're not going to be able to convince yourself that you deserve that accommodation if you don't believe everybody is deserving of it

[deepseametro]

and i mean this really applies to everything... You're never going to not feel ashamed about your music case if you spend all your time judging others'... you're never going to not feel ashamed of your appearance if you don't stop judging others appearance.. Extending compassion to yourself requires you to extend compassion to everyone unfortunately :/ If you want to hate yourself less you should hate other people less

[bungerc0re]

kind of maddening how many people will double down on misogyny and resist any kind of feminist practice because of how mad they get at the idea of being "a misogynist"

[bungerc0re]

it's the most common behaviour pretty much ever from people in positions of power but misogyny seems like it'd be really easy to accept "you live in a misogynistic society so you will speak and act in misogynistic ways sometimes". and yet!

[cuddlemari]

do you reckon it comes from the same place as white people becoming incredibly defensive when you tell them "you live in a racist society so you will speak and act in racist ways sometimes" ? because some white people get really twisted up if you tell them that their behavior is racist.

i think it has to do with an idea they have in their heads of racists being moonshine swilling southern rednecks (which is also classist)

[bungerc0re]

yeah indubitably. it's a favourite trick of liberal societies to simultaneously act like oppression is a completely individual experience and that "you" as an individual aware of oppression cannot enforce it, especially with racism and misogyny.

[deejwalker]

My insurance LOVES to cancel rides to non-negotiable appointments with NO explanation the day before with a3 day in advance rescheduling window!!!!!!!!!

Can anyone help me out with 30 to 40, I literally just need to go pick up sexual testing results in person and get some referrals for other things 🙃

0/40

Cash and pay are both agenderdread

V_nmo is deejwalker365

[deejwalker]

Hey if u like my art and don't hate me, I do need help with food and a few bills mid months so next week and a half

Gonna just drop my kofi link and set a goal of 200. Thank you guys truly. Things are rocky. I have less irl help for the time being (no case manager or employment help yet)

Kofi link

0/200

[healsypally]

EVERYBODY wants to piss off TERFs, but NOONE wants to do the one thing that is 100% GUARANTEED to piss off 100% of TERFs:

Explicitly include trans women in every single women’s space, and outright ban afab-only resources, spaces, and housing from all queer and feminist spaces.

[plaidos]

you’d think that trans men having lived as women for a time would make them less misogynistic than your average cisgender man but alas society encourages & rewards them for performing misogyny and punishes them for being feminists so materially it makes sense that things would turn out this way

[estrellasuerte]

hello -- my name is A or illi. i am a 27 yr old indigenous nonbinary lesbian living in the deep south.

in summer of 2024 i was living in my car and doing sex work in the daytime to avoid confrontation with my batterer, trying to escape DV.

i met someone and was trafficked into unsafe living conditions in september of 2024 under the guise of obtaining gainful employment, offered $200/week.

i was lied to.

the father of my trafficker is on his deathbed and i am facing homelessness because i have not been paid for over a year.

i have made a few posts documenting my unsafe living conditions here.

if you can contribute literally anything, my CA is $spoiledmilkandhoney and my paypal dot me is amuletodenazar. my paypal email is [email protected]

[june-egbert-official]

so we're all agreed the sadie liath thing is 1000% about her withdrawing sexual access for trans men, right? like that's why all the tmra's are so mad? not that she said she hated trans men (she didn't. she said she was done with them) or anything drastic, but because she was telling them all "as a trans woman i am revoking your access to me, sexually" and they got pissed.

like you didn't even REINVENT rape culture, you just slapped a trans flag on it.

[june-egbert-official]

i'm just saying i pretty clearly said tmras and some of you wanted to tell on yourselves awful bad.

[plaidos]

no more antifeminism in trans spaces. call it out. transmascs, fellas, if you wanna share community with transfems you have to learn to respect us and be proper fucking feminists, which means dropping all that “transandrophobia” male oppression bullshit you fuckin little andrew tates

[dumbpuppyfag]

u have a responsibility to understand ur own privilege btw, there really isn't a way around it. if ur white u gotta learn about structural racism, if ur a man then u gotta learn about patriarchy, if u live in the first world then u gotta learn about imperialism. u have to be a class traitor, no excuses

[dumbpuppyfag]

u think i made this blog to talk politics ?? i made this blog to jerk off and then everyone showed up. i was like oh damn now i have A Platform on the most sheltered, white, usamerican website in the universe so i used it. get out of the matrix and come live on this shitty flying submarine thing with me

[dumbpuppyfag]

i believe that people, by and large, are not fascist by nature. they were born into a machine designed to control their perception and blind them to alternative paths. even those who want to escape it can't because they think the inside of the machine is the entire world (as do those who ostensibly control it). those outside, who can provide a much clearer perspective, cannot enter it. you have to go to them and learn, then bring that knowledge back in with you.

as a beneficiary of white privilege, for example, i have the ability to talk to people who (consciously or not) only listen to white voices. i use that to say the shit i know they aren't hearing otherwise and then point them to the people who taught me. you can do this too, but you have to go learn a bunch of stuff, be prepared to get a lot of your worldview shattered, be prepared to recontextualise everything about your existence and then be prepared to get yelled at by ur racist uncle or whatever. shit kinda sucks but u gotta. nobody makes it out on their own

[mackerelsoup-fr-deactivated2026]

i am thinking of two particular tmes who have made very similar arguments and you can still find it on their blogs i have checked (i’m not going to name them, i’m just pointing out that this isn’t a hypothetical). just cannot stress enough that you useful idiots need to start thinking about why this group of dogs only gets riled up about sisterfucking when i can search up dadcon and brocon and fauxcest and ddlg and find a real trove of the most perverted (compliment) posts and thoughts you could imagine. just sit, don’t react instinctively. sit and think.

[mackerelsoup-fr-deactivated2026]

and again, maybe you personally have seen these arguments and hated them and hated the people that made them. but i need you to ask yourself WHY is THIS person being made the focus of the vitriol? and WOULD YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID WITHOUT THE SURROUNDING BACKLASH?

[plaidos]

the way to deal with "transandrophobia" types is to start by not taking them seriously. I know that it is serious and scary that all these little temporarily embarrassed Andrew Tates are running around starting an antifeminist movement, but by treating it like a "normal discourse" I think we're conceding a lot of ground to people who, very flatly, should just be treated the exact same as any cisgender men's rights activist.

[plaidos]

Like some of these guys -- some of the major figureheads in the movement -- are running around saying that feminists and people who support trans women should be hunted and killed. That's really fucking serious, and we have to start treating those men like the violent, aggressive, misogynistic little toerags they are rather than engaging in debate with them. Anybody who says shit like "Why are we fighting when we should be making out" about transfeminism is a rapist waiting to happen. It's rape apologia. It's "Feminists just need a good dicking". We have to start being serious about our opposition to this shit. Just tell them how they sound, don't waste your energy arguing back. We can't concede these as normal arguments (even though it is very normal for men to behave this way 🙃)

[sailatina2-deactivated20251222]

About the blue lady, it's unfortunate. It seems that the set up of trans dudes harassing women until they get nuked has now reached Twitter. Though to be fair it's a common situation to happen in real life (replace account nuking with general social isolation). As I have predicted before, this type of scenario will only become more common everywhere. I suspect that transfeminism in turn will gain momentous popularity, as will the opposition to transfeminism.

I don't know where this will lead, when I was young I had never heard of these types of situations and discourses. I didn't know of whipping girl until maybe 2 years ago. And I think this ignorance hurt me a lot. So with this culture here escalating in visibility, I predict many people will take a stance sooner or later. This will lead to a lot of bad yes, but I also think many girls will be able to keep themselves safe(r) with this knowledge. Having the tools of transfeminism known to these women will help them when they inevitably need them.

Also, the Blue Lady was completely correct.

[cross-entropy-dollthing-deactiv]

In the mind of the median "socially conscious" man (cis or trans), patriarchy is a vague, impersonal force which just sort of vaguely hovers above everyone. It may as well have fallen from the sky because nobody really participates in it unless they're literally the most privileged man alive. For them to acknowledge the fact that patriarchy is a force rooted in the material basis of society, in real class oppression of all women (cis and trans), carried out by all men as a class, would be to acknowledge some personal obligation to meaningfully seek to abolish it, to actually organise and work seriously with women to bring about women's liberation and the end of patriarchy and class society as a whole. This would require effort, something few men are willing to invest and would much rather shove off to the women in their lives, just as they do with the dishes and cooking and laundry and everything else.