Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in the same package. How efficient of you!
Understanding is a three-edged sword.
Because I have asked you; because your sense of duty to our people should override any personal ambition; and because I have poisoned your drink.
Thereâs always the threat of an attack by say, a giant space dragon. The kind that eats the sun once every 30 days. Itâs a nuisance, but what can you expect from reptiles? Did I mention that my nose is on fire? And that I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers?
Fools to the left of me, feeders to the right⊠I need to find a real job.
A stroke of the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.
The trouble with being infallible is that you have to deal with everyone else making mistakes.
Worst case of testosterone poisoning I have ever seen.
We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out.
I have been working up a good mad all day and I am NOT about to let you ruin it by agreeing with me!
But where is it written that all our dreams must be small ones?
What do you want, you moon-faced assassin of joy?
Cats. Iâm being nibbled to death by cats.
There comes a time when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it, or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors.
I can only conclude that Iâm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.
I have been nothing but compassionate and understanding. I mean, all you had to do was to admit you were wrong and I was right and everything wouldâve been fine.
Itâs not like that. Well, itâs not like that yet. .. I think.
There is always choice. We say there is no choice only to comfort ourselves with the decision we have already made. If you understand that, thereâs hope. If not ..
I have seen what power does, and I have seen what power costs. The one is never equal to the other.
You do this for me, and I swear, I will never ask you for anything ever again. .. Till the next time.
Ah. You know, the reports of my death, they werenât even exaggerated a little bit. Yeah, Iâm .. Iâm dead. But, you know, I missed you, and how often do dead people get second chances?
Iâd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this.
The best way to understand someone is to fight him, make him angry. Thatâs when you see the real person.
This is not a clear and present danger? I must read the rule book again.
 I really hate it when you get heroic. Cuts into my business. A manâs got to earn a living, you know.
Everybodyâs cute. Everybodyâs cute! Even me. But in purple, Iâm stunning!
I cannot have an aide who will not look up. You will be forever walking into things.
They say food tastes better if you chew it first.
What?! Look, somebodyâs got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM!
I know, I know. Itâs a Russian thing. When weâre about to do something stupid, we like to catalog the full extent of our stupidity for future reference.
No, itâs okay; Iâll get used to it. If it gets too bad, Iâll justâŠgnaw it off at the ankle.
 Iâll tell you one thing. If the primates that we came from had known that someday politicians would come out of the gene pool, theyâd have stayed up in the trees and written evolution off as a bad idea! Hell, I always thought the opposable thumb was overrated!
The future isnât what it used to be.
Yeah, if you ask me we created our own monster. And maybe we deserve it.
I once saw an entire chorus line of purple wombats doing showtunes in my bathtub. Of course, I was pretty drunk at the time.
Insanity is part of the times. You must learn to embrace the madness. Let it fire you.
I suggest you move those eyes somewhere elseâŠwhile you still have them.
I try never to get involved in my own life. Too much trouble.
May I be the first to say that this is the nuttiest idea youâve ever had.
Gambling is one of the lesser sins. Iâve always thought if youâre going to sin, you may as well go for one of the really big ones.
I look like Iâm wearing a circus tent! Any minute now, a little teeny car with 16 clowns in it is gonna come flying out my butt!
Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts.
You see? Itâs like Iâve always said: âYou can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can with just a kind word.â
When you were hurt, when you were in my arms, I was ready to kill that guy with my bare hands. I realized I have never told you how much I cared about you, how much you mean to me. I think itâs time you knew that. I can no longer imagine my world without you in it. I donât know exactly when or how it happened. But Iâm glad it did.
If kisses could kill, that one would have flattened several small towns!
If you see something this big with eight legs coming your way, let me know. I have to kill it before it develops language skills.
I canât recall the last time I was in a fight like that! No moral ambiguity, no hopeless battle against ancient and overwhelming forces! They were the bad guys, as you say, and we were the good guys. And they made a very satisfying thump when they hit the floor.
He said he would use any and all means necessary. I respectfully suggest that he intends to go far beyond harsh language.
Well, if youâre gonna have delusions, may as well go for the really satisfying ones.
Remember what I said before about âthere must be another wayâ? I was wrong. Kill him!
Morning, gentlemen. This is your wakeup call.
What youâre going to have is my foot sixteen inches up your butt if you donât get the hell out of my way!
I managed toâŠexplain matters to them. They will recover, in time.
This is the kind of conversation that can only end with a gunshot!
If youâre going to wait for the universe to start making sense, youâll have a long wait ahead of you.
My people are in there. And several others just tried to kill me, but then, what family doesnât have its difficulties?
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