Confused Cucumber

Digging through your trash for my next hyper-fixation. All I'm finding is disturbing kinks and fictional gay men. 27, She/They

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[redstonedust]

unfortunately i dont think its queerbaiting if the creator is just so terminally heterosexual that they never remotely considered the same gender relationship their show is centered around could be read as romantic. it is deeply painful however.

[melanqueerly]

Maybe accidental queer baiting? The way someone may not mean to say something rude, but it may come off rude, so it's rude. Frustrating either way.

[phinarei]

Not being a dick, just a friendly clarification.

By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.

There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.

That's queerbaiting.

Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.

The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.

Doing it on accident sucks, but it isn't a tactic of capitalism intentionally intended to suppress queer representation while making money from queer fans.

[joyandotherstories]

Reblogging to keep the accurate definition and examples of queerbaiting circulating in the world

[omtai]

they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit

[infectiouspiss]

TESTOSTEROEN CIGARETTE BEING SMOKED BY A BUTCH DYKE OUTSIDE THE BAR SHE SHOTGUN THR SMOKE INTO MYMOUTH I GET SO HARD I PASS OUT SMASH MY HEAD AND DIE

[infectiouspiss]

sorry that was meant for the tags

[omtai]

it’s okay. You’ve painted a beautiful and true picture

[mingpicket]

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

[yzghuldar]

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

[nutsacktorturer]

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

[king-of-the-freeway]

[morganbritton132]

Robin and Steve are in the back at Scoops Ahoy while someone is at the counter ringing the bell.

They're supposed to be getting a new tub of rocky road but only Steve is doing this. Robin is standing outside the walk-in listening to his overdramatic complaining about the dress code and having not kissed anyone in a month. That hasn't happened since middle school!

She's highly annoyed so she says, "Just go out there and kiss the first person you see if it bothers you so much."

"We serve a lot of children," Steve huffs, heaving a giant tub of ice cream towards the door. "So, no."

"Coward."

"Oh, I’m a coward?" He challenges. "Fine, I'll kiss the first not-child I see...unless they're old. Or ugly. How about that?"

"Oh, I can't wait."

"Finally," Eddie says at the counter. "Can I get another cone of-"

His words die on his lips when Steve drops the tub of ice cream, grabs him by the shirt collar, and kisses him over the counter.

Eddie is stunned.

Steve gives Robin a little 'told ya I'd do it' gesture and then asks Eddie, "Did you have the peanut butter ice cream?"

"Uh, y-yes?"

"Right," Steve says, turning to Robin. "Do you know how to use an epipen?"

[scoops-aboy86]

Eddie doesn’t fully process the peanut thing and walks away under the impression that Steve Harrington is allergic to him.

[likethecastle]

one thing I really appreciate about rtd era doctor who is just how NORMAL the sets often look:

there have been at least three separate people I’ve known whose bedrooms had this vibe: the incredible clashing between different shades of pink, the dark carpet, the messiness, the poor lighting filtering through that dark curtain—I know how it feels being in this room.

I painted my room this exact color in 2008/2009. martha’s organized, but she’s a student and it’s a cramped space—she arranges her shelves the best she can, but her stuff is just stuff and doesn’t perfectly match. when I’m at school I have to dry my laundry in the middle of my room exactly the same way!

yup, that’s what every break room I’ve ever had at work looks like, with the mismatched tupperware and posters and questionably-clean microwave.

sylvia’s house is obviously intended to be coordinated, but with a nonprofessional’s taste. you can see the little pumpkins in the background from halloween, there’s a printed tablecloth at the table, the counters are that realistic mix of cluttered and clean. 

even in a fancy office, we’ve got the ugly fluorescent lighting that’s not really doing anyone favors, the crooked potted plants, the sporadic beige and white walls, the random workplace posters above the printer and trash cans.

people sitting in weird places because there aren’t enough seats around the tv! the cat tower with kitty litter shoved in the corner! the overstuffed table! the slightly-crooked picture frames! this IS the vibe of being stuffed into a too-small room with company over.

I don’t know, I just love how they unapologetically show the messiness of normal life on camera?? I feel like the unglamorous-ness of it grounds the show so much?! it’s just so much fun watching a bunch of fantastical sci-fi things play out against mundane settings I see every day.

[x-creature-feature-x]

when i was 10 same sex marriage was legalised in england and wales. that summer i went to so many weddings. there were weeks i went to a wedding every single day, some days we had to choose which wedding to go to. i loved it cuz i got to dress up and hang out w a bunch of happy ppl and eat food and dance. when i see that quote abt how gay ppl during the aids crisis had to choose between funerals it reminds me of that summer. of how far weve come and how far we still have to go. hiv is now controllable with a pill once a day. only 6 ppl have ever been cured of aids. the uk wasnt hit nearly as hard by hiv/aids as other countries like it, partly cuz of a massive public information campaign. 20,000 ppl still died. i went to so many 10 year anniversary parties last year.

[brittlepredatordemon]

Actually, no, I don't think that friendships dropping like flies in your late 20s and early 30s because no one has time for that between overwork and family obligations and marriage and kids and partners and the ritual of the time slayer is normal and ok. No I don't think deep conversations and spontaneous adventures being replaced with a tired coffee every six months is a normal part of growing up. I don't think that emotional intimacy and soul bonds disintegrating in the face of practical inconvenience is a fact of life. I think that means something is deeply deeply wrong with our society and I will never forgive it for the friends I've lost

[catsbeaversandducks]

Via @korvys​ (Twitter)

[cornistasiathecoblinking]

I’m glad humans evolved to Boop the Snoot for Good Luck.

[headspace-hotel]

glowing as though holy

[wingedvoid-otherblog]

Balto in new york has it too<33333

[animentality]

[haansolo]

[hiveswap]

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

[hiveswap]

Don't forget to play it loud as fuck

[kowai-kabuki-tanuki]

please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.

This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.

[hiveswap]

It took them two tries to ban it?

[kvotheunkvothe]

[wertfi-penguin]

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

[geekyhistoriansunite]

[everythingfox]

Baby otter first time in the water

[blackpyrefly]

kity

[mite75]

[willgrahamscock]

pausing mid thrust to open tumblr.com to delete the celibacy gif I reblogged 2 weeks ago

[fuckedndstupid]

[cunt-force-therapy]

Why are they in Hell

[willgrahamscock]

because if you have sex you will die and go to hell

[sexchangedotcom]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[sexchangedotcom]

youre right im sorry beautiful

[oreramar]

Every time I'm forced by circumstance to hand-sew something, I remember a fairytale I once read. There are lead-up shenanigans as the humble protagonist helps small animals and meets the princess and all that, but in the climax, the princess rigs a contest for her hand by setting her own task: sew her a dress in a single night.

The noble suitors, who have never sewn a thing in their lives, sabotage themselves by their own ambitions: they choose difficult fabrics to work with and cut huge, elaborate patterns and select gems and pearls and beads to sew onto it, and snip such long bits of thread that they lose time detangling their stitches, and ultimately resort to pinning bits together as they run out of time, so that their offerings initially look beautiful and flashy, but when the princess tries them on they stick her with pin ends and fall apart as she moves.

The humble protagonist uses a very simple pattern without embellishments and sews using short lengths of thread (snipped off and threaded for him by little birds of course) which don't tangle and therefore save time. His dress is plain by contrast, but holds together and the princess is able to move freely in it, and so he wins the contest and her hand.

I particularly think about the bit about threading the needle with shorter lengths of thread, needing to tie off more often but avoiding tangles and thereby saving time.

I then ignore that piece of wisdom passed down through who knows how many years and proceed to cut the longest damn length of thread I can manage because I hate tying off beginning or ending knots and I will not subject myself to more of that even if it does mean more tangles along the way.