hostess

{ she. 9teen. "alive" }

[talon-dragonbeast]

daily affirmations for college students

im doing great

my teeth and claws are very sharp

i can kill ai with my mind

the professor is more scared of me than i am of them

theres no surprise test on friday

no one can tell i have a tumblr blog

my roommates dont hate me

salmon burguers on sale

[innerchildabortionclinic]

evil therapist: to ground yourself, look around, name 5 things you can kill, and 4 things you can at least maim

[scalpho]

"mwahahaha" could be an evil laugh but it could also be "mwah ahaha" like someone kissing you and then laughing joyously because they love you

[albva]

They should let you vomit a black sludge and when you are done you feel better about yourself. Also the black sludge forms into an evil clone you can make out with.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

tw lying

Keep reading

[circusheart]

one time i hooked up with a guy and he ate my ass and jerked me off and then his boyfriend came home and was like kind of upset that he didn't get to have sex with me too. so i was like hey we can do sex that's fine by me. i can cum again. and so he's like ok lets take a shower together and ill jerk you off in the shower. and as hes jerking me off in the shower he asks if i use my phone while i shower. and i say no. and he says he always uses his phone in the shower. and sometimes he takes off the case and washes his phone with shampoo and water just for fun. and he's broken five phones this year from doing that but he's not going to stop because he just wants his phone to be clean and feel good. hes still jerking me off as he tells me about this. this is a real story you have to believe me

[circusheart]

They broke up

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[itbaph]

I hate eating gummy sharks. You eat like 2 and it looks like you’ve been making out with papa smurf.

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[contagiousgrace]

I just don't think we ever wrapped up the Clown Sightings of 2016 in a satisfactory way.

[dwm-official]

[orangeretriever]

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[sewercentipede]

honor thy mother and thy father

[xclowniex]

I really like the fire and emergency nz (fenz) new ad campaign about cooking when high or drunk.

Because whilst weed is illegal for recreational use here, they arent shaming you, they dont care that you're high. They care they you don't accidentally cause a fire when you are high. This is what harm reduction looks like.

And to go with the ads, they have a website full of recipes that are safe to make if you are high or drunk.

[gigglevoid]

[unhospitable]

I've been thinking about how in the 1940s Crowley cannot walk into a church without it being physically painful due to it being consecrated/holy ground, however flash forward to when he goes to heaven (either time, really) we don't see him be in that same type of pain, even though objectively its more of a holy place than any church.

This could be just a property of heaven, or a writing inconsistenty, but it makes me wonder if Crowley is in pain in these moments, but the situation requires his comfort to be an afterthought. Or potentially its desentization, hes been on consecrated ground many times since saving Aziraphale in the church for whatever reason and he's used to walking on it.