Unicorn Ratings

A non biased critique of unicorn images, by Andy Erikson Preorder the new ebook "Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images" here!

[unicornratings]

I had no idea I wanted to see Sir Elton John as a unicorn, but by golly, now that I’ve seen it, I can’t imagine a single person having a complete life without seeing this gorgeous unicorn. I mean LOOK AT THOSE PUFFY SHOULDERS! LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE PANTS!

I want this outfit. Neigh, I NEED this outfit. I would never look as amazing in it, but gosh dang it I could try! This image makes me believe in love again. It makes me believe in hope and magic and red-rimmed eyeglasses.

I love the icy yet fiery tail and mane, and I am entranced by the silky sideburns. Again, I had no idea I wanted to see a unicorn with sideburns, but here it is, and it is my everything!

Fantastic modern rainbow in the background. Glamorous violet piano. Spectacular triple lighting situation going on. This image should win an award for set design. I hereby nominate this image for a British award of some sort. Make it happen universe!

I love the prominent solid gold horn and the full figured body combined with the full-figured nose and cheeks. I love how delicately the front hooves are placed on the piano keys too. It makes me wonder what song he is playing. Perhaps one of these?

Benny and The Unicorns

Goodbye Yellow Bridled Unicorn

Tiny Prancer

Candle in the Whinny

Rocket Mane

So many amazing songs to choose from! You play that piano Sir Elton Johnicorn! You play that piano like an angel!

Beautiful ear directions. Solid rear leg stance. Superbly delicate back curve. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to see more unicorn reviews and support my project, you can also do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media and visiting their website! There is more art where this came from.

Unicorn Image by: Allison Severson

Website: www.AllisonLSeverson.com

[unicornratings]

In honor of the Total Solar Eclipse today, I’m sharing this image of a unicorn entitled “Moonicorn.”

Also in honor of the Total Solar Eclipse the review is hidden. For now! In order to read the full review of this unicorn, you will need to order my unicorn ebook that will be coming out early 2018, or join my Patreon. You can preorder today here! Only $10 and the money will be going towards getting the book published as a physical book, and paying more artists to contribute.  http://www.podventure.com/unicornebook/product/the-unicorn-ebook-preorder/

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to see more Unicorn reviews and support my project, you can also do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media and visiting their website! There is more art where this came from.

Unicorn Image by Breon Bliss

Instagram: @poopernagel

[unicornratings]

I wish I could take selfies this good! We all know it can be hard to take selfies when you’re a unicorn. It’s incredibly difficult to hold a cell phone with a hoof, and even if you manage to hold the phone, how the heck are you going to press the button that takes the picture? Well, ladies and gentlemen, this unicorn has done it. And wow, am I impressed with the results. She even has her angles down so well that you can’t even see the leg extending to hold the phone out! Totally on point.

I love the sweet smile and the flirty eyes. And that nose is absolutely fierce. I just want to hug this unicorn while wearing a hot dog costume. I love wearing hot dog costumes! Totally unrelated but I once tried on a hot dog costume at Target and I decided not to buy it, and I think about it every day. “Wurst” decision of my life. Now I’ll never be a hot dog.

Where was? Oh yeah! I wanted to take a picture with this unicorn while wearing a hot dog costume BECAUSE we could call our relationship “Unicorndog!” You know instead of Brangelina, we’d be that hot new couple: “Unicorndog!”

I’m a genius. And you know what else is genius? The soft, flowing, banging bangs. The delicate use of colors. The beautifully simple grass zig zags, and the voluptuous horn.

I love you fat unicorn. Thank you for being you. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to see more unicorn reviews and support my project. You can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson

IMAGE CREDITS - Support this amazing artist by following their social media profiles. There is more art where this came from!

Unicorn Image by: Becky Braunstein

http://www.beckybraunstein.com/fatanimals/

Instagram: @beckybraunstein

[unicornratings]

Contrary to popular belief, America hasn’t always been a country full of bustling cities, Yoplait Frozen GoGurt tubes and Uber drivers. No, there was once a time, not too long ago, when unicorn cowboys roamed the expansive prairies. This drawing? Yeah this drawing is of a unicorn and his faithful human steed, Mr. Cowboy.

Take it all in lil doggies. Kick off your boots, grab a cold root beer and feast your eyes on this amazing image. Gallop around as you look lovingly at this unicorn’s beautiful smile. Pretend to hug a cactus while you peer at this unicorn’s neon hooves and glowing tail. Raise up your left eyebrow with wonder as you admire this unicorn’s unique leg shapes.

I must say, I love Mr. Cowboy’s arm positions. He is ready for anything and not afraid of falling off while riding. And most notably, we must all appreciate the beautiful cowboy hat. It makes my spurs click with joy to see such a perfect cowboy hat. It’s lumpy in all the right parts. I would order 12 of them on Amazon if I could. I think we all would.

Overall, splendid ear point. Realistic saddle dimensions. Glorious round butt. 10 Stars.

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to see more unicorn reviews and support my project. You can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson

IMAGE CREDITS

Unicorn Image by: Joseph Robinson, age 9

[unicornratings]

Can I just start by saying that I love it when squirrels wave at me? Because I feel like the prettiest girl in the world right now. A squirrel has not only acknowledged that I exist, but she is waving. At ME! She wants to be friends with me. I’m on cloud 9.

And you know what I just realized? Cloud 9 is a great phrase and all, but it needs to be replaced once in for all with the following phrase: “I’m on Unicorn 9.” I’m a genius I know! I’m so happy! I’m on Unicorn 9! Can we make that a thing? YES! This is the best day.

I love the use of swirls and curves in this image. Our eyes twirl around the image finding more and more things to love and explore with each glance. We bounce and flounce from cloud to rainbow to sun to squirrel to unicorn and then we bounce right to our own hearts. Where this image belongs.

And of course, we can’t forget about the unicorn. The squirrel may have caught my attention first, but that might be because secretly I am a squirrel, but the unicorn is the true focus. I adore the round sparkling eyeball with the soft star and small heart inside. It comes to life, but not in a scary zombie way. It comes to life like a flower budding, or a sun rising. Oh, and great usage of wings in this design, a definite treat that you don’t always see. And wow, that tail is powerful. Look how it holds up the squirrel without even a flutter or falter?

Cute tiny nose, cute tiny smile, gorgeous and some how voluptuously curvy horn. It’s incredibly unique and fun. Overall there’s an innocence to this picture that is done so boldly and delicately. I’m on unicorn 9.

I love this unicorn squirrel duo. I hope they stay friends forever. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to see more unicorn reviews and support my project. You can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media profiles. There is more art where this came from!

Unicorn Image by: Harris

Twitter: @sorryurdumb

Instagram: @harrriss

[unicornratings]

What an incredible piece of art. This super authentic “Unicornio Wanted” poster has timeless design and an authentic style. I love the subtle sepia tone glow emanating from the paper. You can tell that this piece is from a part of our history that people refer to as, “old timey.” I admire the classic button-down top, caressed by a stylish and classic suit jacket.

Before I go much further, I should probably translate this poster for readers who are afraid Spanish:

SE BUSCA

VIVO O MUERTO

BANDITO “SECRETO” UNICORNIO

RECOMPENSA EN EFECTIVO

$100,000

Translation:

WANTED

ALIVE OR WITH MAYBE A SPRAINED ANKLE AT THE MOST. BUT DEFINITELY ALIVE FOR SURE.

“SECRET” UNICORN FRIEND

CASH REWARD

$1,000,000,000,000.

Okay, now that we’re all on the same page, we can address the effectiveness of unicorn wanted posters. I know this is a heated topic, but I must share my experience. I have created and dispersed hundreds if not thousands of missing unicorn posters. I have yet to receive a single unicorn. I admit this is mischievous, and probably illegal since technically I have never lost a unicorn BUT I stand by the assertion that I am missing a unicorn. I do not have one and I obviously should have one. If a friend came over and looked at your clothes and saw that you didn’t own any pants, she would say, hey, your wardrobe is missing pants. And she would be correct. And I would hang missing pants posters around the neighborhood until somebody found me a pair. So if anyone has a unicorn or a pair of pants, please reach out.

Perhaps this unicorn is wearing pants and I could borrow his. OR maybe this unicorn is wearing two pairs of pants because I bet that’s how it works... Okay, back to my review:

I enjoy the gentle features and the delicate lines of the unicorn’s body. I’m transfixed by the smooth and sharp horn that could pierce through a thousand hearts (metaphorically and literally.) I love the wispy mane and the practical “no nonsense” shadows. I don’t know what this unicorn did to be hunted by the police, perhaps he was just too adorable, or too fantastic, or maybe this unicorn is like Robin Hood and he’s taking rainbows and glitter from the rich and giving them to the poor. Yes that sounds about right. And I can guarantee that this view isn’t biased at all. Nope. Put me on the jury, let’s set this unicorn free, I don’t need to hear the story. That’s how unbiased I am. Thank you. 10 stars. 

Thank you for reading! If you would like to see more unicorn reviews and support my project. You can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson 

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media profiles. There is more art where this came from!

Unicorn image by JV

Twitter @Jericho731

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MrHappyGrim/

[unicornratings]

Have you ever had a dream that you’re a unicorn? That you can gallop and sing and jump and dance and when you’re hungry you can close your eyes make a wish and then suddenly 4 Doritos Locos tacos appear on your saddle, along with an ice cream sundae topped with gummy bears and it’s all entirely calorie free? And even if their were calories it wouldn’t matter for a unicorn because unicorns burn 100 calories every time they smile at a woodland creature and they can burn 100 more calories every time they fart? And then after smiling at woodland creatures and farting into the wind, then you lay on your soft soft pillow and you dream?

So now you’re dreaming of being a unicorn, who is also dreaming. WHOA UNICORN INCEPTION! I would watch that movie. But only if Leonardo Dicaprio does all the voices and all the prancing.

I wonder what unicorns dream about? I think they dream about making new friends and hugging grandmas. And Sometimes they dream that they’re not wearing any pants and they’re on the bus to unicorn school. But then they realize that unicorns don’t wear pants, they wear tutus and they’re like “WHooAAA, that was a close one.”

I think this unicorn is dreaming about taking over the world. But in a super awesome way. Where everyone has friends and food and love. I love the determination in her eyes and the determination in her eyebrow and mouth line too. And talk about a marvelous mane and tail! The chunky bold colors with their vibrant texture are tantalizing and fabulous. I want all of the clothes in my wardrobe to mirror that pattern and those colors. Especially my shirts and my -OH MY GOSH!!! Do you see that little unicorn next to the pillow??!!!! It is absolutely adorable! I want to have a thousand and let them run all around my face and I want to hold them all and show them to people and put tiny saddles on them! I love the little swirls of hair and their plumpy bodies and their plumpy legs and I love that plumpy isn’t a word but you totally know what I’m talking about.

This image is amazing. Loving the unique edgy star shapes. Simple yet elegant bed and pillow lines. Perfect toenail polish. Superb tail bumps. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading! If you would like to see more unicorn reviews and support my project. You can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/andyerikson

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media profiles. There is more art where this came from!

Unicorn image by Katherine Curtis

On Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/FunWitFunny/

[unicornratings]

Typically, when I see a unicorn more is better. I usually want to see the whole body, including the legs and at least 2 or 3 hooves. But sometimes an image comes along and makes you realize that all you need are a couple of really good unicorn heads inside of a giant heart.

(Disclaimer: you should never remove a unicorn’s head from its body. That’s treason. Now I’m not sure what exactly treason is, BUT from this point on, we can all agree that treason is when you remove a unicorn’s head from it’s body.) 

(Disclaimer Number Two: Unicorns are amazing! Now I’m not exactly sure what a disclaimer is, but from this point on, a disclaimer is when you tell somebody how you feel about unicorns.)

I’ve digressed a little. Time to get back to reviewing this unicorn image. Or shall I say, time to get back to “disclaiming” this unicorn image. I love the way the pink mane drips down the mom unicorn’s neck like fresh snow on a blue mountain. The poof of creamy snow up top is like an avalanche of protection reaching out to the sky. And the little purple unicorn is just so so sweet. Like cotton candy and linen candy and silk candy and all the fabrics have been turned in to candy.

Even with their closed eyes we can see the love these unicorns share for each other. Mother and daughter, best friends and prance dance partners. Soon the little unicorn will grow up and start texting boys and yelling for no apparent reason and saying ironic phrases sarcastically and she won’t show up to family movie nights and she’ll be too embarrassed to be prance dance partners in public and the mom and daughter, they will gallop apart. But only for a little while. And then she’ll be back. Because a mom’s love is true love. And true love is forever.

That’s why the heart encircling these unicorns is so apt. I love the halftone coloring of the interior of the heart, accentuating the suggested but subtle rainbow with atypical colors. I’ve never seen a rainbow with brown in it, but I must say, it works. It one hundred percent works.

Amazing full and floppy ears all around. Superb under-eye face sparkles. Dreamy popcorn colored horns. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading! This post was originally meant to be shared on Mother’s Day! Love you mom, let’s always prance dance together!

To support my unicorn project please consider donating to my patreon here. And please share!

IMAGE CREDITS: Thank you to Sarah R. for creating this special image just for Mother’s day!

Unicorn Image by: Sarah R.

[unicornratings]

This week we have a very special edition of Unicorn Reviews. Because this past week the amazing UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO was unleashed onto the unsuspecting public!

The Unicorn Frappuccino was conceived several months ago when a millennial and a dolphin went rollerblading together. While blading down the sidewalk they came across a lemonade stand owned and operated by a rainbow. They served mango lemonade and only blue sour skittles, and cream. The rest is history.

Now, you shouldn’t judge a Unicorn Frappuccino by it’s cover. Because the cover is just a plastic dome shape and it’s rather quite generic. It has a nice sized hole in the top and fits onto cups, but honestly it doesn’t say much about the contents of the beverage. Instead, judge a Unicorn Frappuccino by it’s sparkle. And holy buckets does this drink sparkle.

I was instantly enticed by the swooshy swirls of blue, pink, light pink, dark pink, soft pink, neon pink, gay pink, straight pink, boy pink, girl pink, non gender conforming pink, pink panther pink, and pinky pink. It looked like what a unicorn’s brain would look like on crack. As the drink melted the blue began to takeover the pink in a sprawling, manifest destiny fashion. It was like watching paint dry, but like while you’re on crack.

I absolutely adored the poofy white cloud of whipped cream on top of the drink covered in a magical dusting of sugar. It looked like a soft mountain that I wanted to jump into. And we can’t forget about the horn. The skinny green horn burst free from the top of the cloud proudly and declared, I’m a unicorn, and my horn is also a straw! BAM!

I wish I could have a Unicorn Frappuccino every day. But they were only here from April 19th to the 23rd, and most Starbucks stores ran out before then.

Thankfully I got mine the first day at an airport Starbucks and I got to taste it while everyone around clapped and cheered and took my picture and asked, “How is it?”

And that’s where we are now. I’m sure you’re all wondering what it tasted like. And I have to be honest here. It was really good... But it just wasn’t sugary enough. It tasted kind of sweet, but not sweet enough. It’s like they’d never had a meal cooked by a unicorn before. It was close. Definitely close to seeming authentic, and to the untrained mouth it may have been indiscernible from the real thing, but I’ve been around the block a few times. It’s a block made out of rainbow legos and ego waffles, and that’s where all the unicorn’s live. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED the mango and the blue sourness. It was like a dream wrapped in a dream with a dream on top, all getting sucked up into a straw. But there just wasn’t enough sugar.

I really hope Starbucks brings them back again, just like the McRib. Unicorns need more attention and awareness so anything that brings them to the spotlight is wonderful.

Starbucks Frappuccino, thank you for existing. xoxox 10 stars.

Thank you for reading and if you liked this review, you should preorder my new ebook “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” You can preorder here.

[unicornratings]

It’s Unicorn Monday! And you might be wondering where the new awesome unicorn art and awesome review is? Well this weeks unicorn review will only be available in the ebook! It involves a unique texture and a giant seashell! So yeah, you’re going to want to see it and read it.

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

Thank you to everyone who has preordered so far and supported this super silly blog. I LOVE YOU!

(Unicorn Image is by Farley Crawford.)

[unicornratings]

You can’t be too trusting these days. We always have to be watchful. Literally anyone or anything could be a cat pretending to be a unicorn. All it takes is a fake horn, a fake mane and a calico cat and BAM. You have a recipe for DECEPTION. Adorable adorable, lick you on your face, deception. But never let your guard down! If you let your guard down, your guard will be sad. And maybe give your guard a raise. It’s a tough job to protect your “feelings.”

But if I know one thing for sure. This is definitely a unicorn.

Because I know a unicorn when I see one. I have seen more unicorns than Lisa Frank’s bikini waxer. (Lisa Frank’s bikini waxer happens to have seen 8,178 unicorns.)

Wow we got off topic fast. Back to this unicorn that is definitely a unicorn. I am enchanted by the sweet delicate eyes. They are beautiful charcoal dollops of perfection. I’m absolutely smitten about the soft pink splotches on the ears and face. So random, yet perfectly designed. And speaking of unicorn faces. This unicorn sure has a nice round face and just the cutest little nose in the whole world! So cute I just want to cuddle with it and give it some unicorn nip. 

Splendid star splattering at the top. Nice gray circle inside the face. I love a unicorn with an extra gray circle on it’s face. I image it is gently holding it’s whiskers back. Umm yeah, typically unicorns don’t have long flowing catlike whiskers, but THIS IS DEFINITELY A UNICORN. No more debating. Case closed. Meow meow meow. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this review, there’s more! Please consider preordering my new ebook: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” It will feature over 50 original unicorn images created by a blessing of talented artists. I’m so excited to share the images with you in the coming weeks and months and excited to share my reviews too! And there will be extra content, images and magical surprises only in the ebook as well. I’m so so excited!  

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

And check back every Monday for a brand new unicorn review!

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media! There is more art and awesomeness where this came from.

Unicorn Image by Kathy Yamamoto

Twitter: @YAMAdrama

[unicornratings]

Lovely. Absolutely lovely. And oh, look at those knees! This image reminds me of one of my favorite Unicornian proverbs:

“Tis a dream come true to be needed by a unicorn,

Tis a nightmare to be KNEED by a unicorn.”

A magnificent and meaningful proverb that has never rung more true than it does today. I would definitely not want to be kneed by this unicorn. No sir. Four knee’s of doom, coming at you! This gorgeous beast is a stunning knee jabbing weapon more powerful than anything the US government has access too. More powerful than any government has ever conceived. And I love that the knee coverings look like fierce bubbles, and I love the curvature of the talons. Incredibly creative and inspiring.

The matching neck and midriff armor is captivating as well. It’s important to protect your midriff. This unicorn knows this and I applaud him for embracing it.

I enjoy the deep purple skin, with the soft shadows made by sharp lines creating a supple texture.

Oh and the ears. I can’t overlook the ears. Before I go, one last Unicornian proverb about ears that point backwards:

“Tis a dream come true to hear with your ears.

Tis a nightmare to hear out your rear.”

Thank you. Thank you.

(Don’t hold the applause)

Dashing eyeball. Perfectly quaffed hair. Enchanting beads of life radiating from the moon burst. Sweet sweet swishy tail. 10 stars.

  Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this review, there’s more! Please consider preordering my new ebook: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” It will feature over 50 original unicorn images created by a blessing of talented artists. I’m so excited to share the images with you in the coming weeks and months and excited to share my reviews too! And there will be extra content, images and magical surprises only in the ebook as well. I’m so so excited!  

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

And check back every Monday for a brand new unicorn review!

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media! There is more art where this came from.

Unicorn Image by Breon Bliss

Instagram: @poopernagel

[unicornratings]

It’s Unicorn Monday! And you might be wondering where the new awesome unicorn art and awesome review is? Well this weeks unicorn review will only be available in the ebook! It involves cats and skulls, so yeah, you’re going to want to see it and read it.

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

Thank you to everyone who has preordered so far and supported this super silly blog. I LOVE YOU!

(Unicorn Image is by Paul Daniel.)

[unicornratings]

I firmly believe that every single video game, and I mean EVERY single video game, would be a thousand times better, if there were also unicorns. And this rendition of Pacman is a perfect example. Sure, pretending to be a circle with a big mouth that eats smaller circles is exciting. I mean who doesn’t connect with circles? But it’s just not a complete gaming experience. We’ve got to spice it up! So… Throw in a unicorn! Instant excitement, action and magic.

I’ve taken the liberty of adding unicorns to other video games and have updated the titles accordingly so you can see for yourself.

Grand Theft Unicorn

Tetricorns

Call of Duticorn

Donkicorn Countricorn

NBA 2uniKorn17

Super Mario Brosicorns

Super Mario Brosicorns 3

(I’m not sure a unicorn could fix Super Mario 2… Awkward… Anyways…)

Pokécorn Go

The Simsicorns

GoldenEye “DoubleOh”Unicorn (00U)

Zelda Breath of the Unicorn

I would play all of these games, even the shooty murdery ones! That’s how much I love unicorns. So tell the CEO of video games to get on this.

Now lets get back to the unicorn in this image. I love the simplicity of the pixels. Each pixel “pac”’s a huge punch. With just a handful of squares, a majestic unicorn emerges. I’m geeking out over the purple choppy horn. It’s totally radical. The mane and tail are mesmerizing as well. The legs are delicate but powerful. If this was a moving image, I guarantee we would see this unicorn burst out of it’s holding area, destroy the Pacman guy and simply devour those sweet sweet cupcakes. I would pay 25 cents just to see that! I don’t care if that’s technically “losing the game” a unicorn’s gotta eat! Go unicorn go! Pac that Man!

Overall: I Love this unique take. Great color pallet. Imaginative design. Fun cupcakes.  10 stars.

 Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this review, there’s more! Please consider preordering my new ebook: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” It will feature over 50 original unicorn images created by a blessing of talented artists. I’m so excited to share the images with you in the coming weeks and months and excited to share my reviews too! And there will be extra content, images and magical surprises only in the ebook as well. I’m so so excited! 

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

And check back every Monday for a brand new unicorn review!

IMAGE CREDITS :

Unicorn Image designed by Hannah Rowston

[unicornratings]

Hello unicorn! Hi hi hi! I love your energy! I’m so happy we are friends! Okay, oh hey hello there humans, no, you aren’t interrupting, welcome, welcome! It is so nice to meet you too! I am honored beyond belief to be reviewing this unicorn and honored that you are reading.

First of all, what a unique unicorn horn. Say that 3 times fast!

Unique unicorn horn!

Unique unicorn horn!

Unique unicorn horn!

Now say it 3 times slow!

U  n  i   q   u   e    u   n   i   c   o   r   n      h   o   rrrr   n !

U  n  i   q   u   e    u   n   i   c   o   r   n      h   o   rrrr   n !

U  n  i   q   u   e    u   n   i   c   o   r   n      h   o   rrrr   n !

Lol. Perfect.

Where were we? Oh yes! Back to the horn. The pattern is awesome. It is simply unprecedented and bold. As you know, traditionally with unicorns from this time period we see a spiral on the horn, and yes, a spiral is beautiful and amazing, We all agree. BUT I have been moved to admit that “zig-zag” is giving “the spiral” a run for it’s money. And you should always run for your money! Or at the very least you should jog or brisk walk for the money. Yeah I could do that. I could brisk walk for the money. It’s better for the knees too.

Speaking of knees, this unicorn has amazing knees. I know we can only see one knee and I know you’re also thinking that it’s an arm and not a leg, but arms have knees too, and this unicorn’s arm knee is perfect. It is smooth though ever present. It is holding up the arm foot in the air with glee, waving at us and welcoming us into her world.

There is so much about this unicorn to love. I love the purple clumpy hair and the exactly 8 eye lashes. I love the bumpy nose and the simple but elegant nose holes. Great teeth. Great jaw. 10 stars.

  Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this review, there’s more! Please consider preordering my new ebook: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” It will feature over 50 original unicorn images created by a blessing of talented artists. I’m so excited to share the images with you in the coming weeks and months and excited to share my reviews too! And there will be extra content, images and magical surprises only in the ebook as well. I’m so so excited!  

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

And check back every Monday for a brand new unicorn review!

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media and visiting their website! There is more art where this came from.

Unicorn Image by Brittany High

Website: cocoalikesthis.com

instagram: @brittysprinkles

[unicornratings]

Right off the bat I notice this unicorn has a fiery mane with an ice green tail and I have to say, I love it. It’s a bold choice to have a different colored tail, and it definitely pays off.  The next time I go in to get my hair colored I’m going to show them a picture of this unicorn and say “Color me like one of your French unicorns!” And I know, I know technically I don’t have a tail, however I can improvise, and just ask that they color my leg hair green, because that would have a similar effect. Oh I can’t wait to go to the salon now!

But enough about me, let’s talk about how this image is most obviously an actual cave drawing that a skilled child colored in with crayons and perhaps a little bit of blood. That might sound disturbing, but it’s a well known fact that cave people would paint with blood, and the cave children would paint with crayons and a little bit of blood. This was well before magic markers were invented so artists had to be resourceful.

I wish I could go back to caveman times when unicorns roamed free, without fear of being chopped up and turned into chunky jewelry sold by the checkout counters of Forever 21. No, back then unicorns were part of the landscape. Like crystal rain drops. Or soft green prairie grass. Or Beyonce’s birthing hips.

And that reminds me! This unicorn has tremendous hips and a wonderfully puffed out chest. The curves pull you in and tantalize the senses. The sharp edges whisper, “Don’t get too close, I don’t want to break your heart. Not like the last time.” Thank you cave drawing unicorn, for being strong enough for the both of us.

(10 seconds of quiet reflection.)

This unicorn is pure glamour shots. Feisty eyeball. Love the blue glow protecting the unicorn from the other blue glow. Great chin angle.  Stunning horn. 10 stars.

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this review, there’s more! Please consider preordering my new ebook: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” It will feature over 50 original unicorn images created by a blessing of talented artists. I’m so excited to share the images with you in the coming weeks and months and excited to share my reviews too! And there will be extra content, images and magical surprises only in the ebook as well. I’m so so excited! 

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

And check back every Monday for a brand new unicorn review!

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media profiles. There is more art where this came from.

Unicorn Image by Alex Stein

Follow Alex on Instagram and Twitter: @thisalexstein

Check out his website and podcast: www.alexsteincomedy.com

[unicornratings]

Love is in the air! And it’s also in our butts, especially if you are a unicorn. With just the right amount of love and the right amount of pressure, a unicorn can do amazing things with its butt. You’ve all seen where rainbow flavored ice cream comes from haven’t you? If you know what the Squatty Potty is, then you know where rainbow flavored ice cream comes from. And you’ve also probably purchased a Squatty Potty. It’s impossible not to see that video and want to buy one. It also makes me hungry for ice cream. I love eating ice cream on the toilet don’t you? Whoa look at that we are WAY off topic. 

But maybe we’re not?

Valentine’s day is around the corner and if you haven’t bought a gift for your significant other, I highly recommend purchasing a Squatty Potty. It’s a romantic way of saying, “Yes honey, I know that you poop, and despite that, I still love you. Here, put your feet up. Take your time and while you’re at it (hands loved one a picture of this unicorn.) Why don’t you look at this pigacorn? (Does a sexy wink and plugs nose.)”

Maybe this pigacorn is the perfect Valentine’s day gift? I know it would be a perfect gift for me, and I’m totally normal! (meow meow meow!)

This pigacorn makes me so gosh dang happy. I LOVE the way the tail is just plopped up into the air, leaving plenty of room for the butt hearts to float out into the world. The beautiful soft creamy skin complements the majestically stubby horn. A gold horn and purple mane is a magnificent combination as well. So regal.

I’m absolutely loving the smile too. It’s mischievous and powerful. It says, “We’re going to be together forever!” It also says, “I think I just farted.” It’s just perfect.

Attractive little feet, wonderful and simple eyeball, sassy and fun heart tattoo on the back thigh. 10 stars.

  Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this review, there’s more! Please consider preordering my new ebook: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” It will feature over 50 original unicorn images created by a blessing of talented artists. I’m so excited to share the images with you in the coming weeks and months and excited to share my reviews too! And there will be extra content, images and magical surprises only in the ebook as well. I’m so so excited! 

Click here to preorder and for a limited time it’s only $5 :)

And check back every Monday for a brand new unicorn review!

IMAGE CREDITS – Support this amazing artist by following their social media profiles. There is more art where this came from.

Unicorn Image by Robin Ryan

Follow her on Instagram and Twitter: @robinryan200