Unruly_Rose

Witchy, Radical Feminist, 30ish

[unruly-rose]

Hello!!! So, I messed this blog up so I can no longer receive messages. I'm going to go ahead and abandon it, so if you're interested in what I'm up to follow @unrulyrose or @womenhelpingwomen or @goddess-group-chat

I follow back from womenhelpingwomen now, fyi.

[probuccalfat1]

“i am a functional adult woman” as a daily affirmation

[arjuna-vallabha]

Mary-Kali by Ravi Zupa

[sroloc--elbisivni]

[grabs your shirt] listen. listen to me. the practical is holy. the everyday is sacred. the simple act of surviving is divine. do you get it? sanctity begins at home, in the hands that build and the lives we live and the deaths we die and the worms that eat our bodies. if making something by hand is not worthy of veneration then nothing is.

[tacktrunkstudiesdeclassified]

If I were to make a radfem self reliance, self defense, homesteading and prepping discord would y'all be interested in it? I feel like a lot of the existing spaces for simple living and self reliance are not particularly women friendly, and certainly less friendly for other minorities, and with the way the world is going (supply shortages, increased violence and desperation, attacks on women's rights from both political axis) it would be good to form a group of women who can all talk and share actionable methods towards self reliance and dealing with SHTF issues.

[womenhelpingwomen]

I'm looking for women with these skills to join my group as well! Let's join forces!

[amateur]

she is going home to make soup. (via)

[pyre-the-thing]

Reblog for soup girl

[bloody-batty]

REBLOG FOR SOUP GIRL‼️

[femsolid]

Femininity also divides women and makes it harder for us to connect as people. If women bonded over human experiences rather than feminine rituals or roles, then we'd have less women saying they can't relate to other women. Because they'd see women as real humans and real people.

Yep. Actually you're reminding me of a book I read recently in which the author pointed out that women also bond over criticizing their own bodies. You know, it's the good old "oh I look so fat now", "oh same I need to go hit the gym", "me too omg I'm so disgusting" etc. And it was pointed out as well that even when women didn't participate in these conversations it made them feel like crap just to hear it. Also noteworthy: a lot of women join in the negative body talks just to fit in and out of habit. A woman says she hates her nose, you immediatly say you hate yours too, we're all in the same self hating boat. It doesn't even mean you actually believe what you say, but you say it nonetheless, like being horrible towards your own self, your own body, is a feminine bonding ritual and a reflex. But if you instead say that you like yourself you'll be considered unpleasant, arrogant and will be rejected from the female group. So basically, men bond over shitting on women and women bond over shitting on women. Men bond over objectifying women and women bond over objectifying women too.

[nansheonearth]

Damn. This is something that I've felt but never really understood until seeing this post. I refuse to engage in negative talk about women's bodies, mine or other women's. And now that you mention it I realize that there's this moment after I don't engage that's like "why aren't you doing this too?!"

[angeltiddies]

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

[invaderxan]

academic conferences

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

Work meetings

[greenekatgrey]

Interviews

[ambulatoryhoodie]

Auditory processing disorder

[lemonsharks]

conversations with my cats who are yelling

[nonasuch]

telling a small baby that they made an excellent point and you fully agree

[the-land-of-women]

[thelesbiancitizen-deactivated20]

Femininity is a costume. It is "dressing up". Men only have to dress up for special occasions where everyone is dressed up. But women are expected to wear costumes everywhere. We're expected to show up to the office, to dinner, out with friends, going to a bar, going to a party, walking down the street, going to the grocery store, or even in our own homes - dressed up. We have to wear a costume. The exact details of the costume don't matter so much, just that we are wearing one, though there are certain general rules the costumes must follow (from my vantage point):

The clothes must be either much tighter or much looser than what the men are wearing. They must be visually harmonious, wearing colors that match well or provide unexpected contrast. There must be extra decorations, such as shiny gems, lace, fancy fabric, puffy sleeves, bows, studs, leather details, mesh, holes, or anything else that is purely decorative and serves no actual purpose. 

The hair must have a certain "look" that says, "I worried about what shape my hair would be in today, and I did something about it!" It must be "styled".

There must be an attempt to cover up the natural, bare face; whether with a particular kind of haircut, decorative eyeglass frames, face paint, a veil, a combination or these, or something else.

The shape of the body must be emphasized in some way.

The differences from the male body must be exaggerated - larger, perkier breasts; wider hips; small feet; hair must be removed; small waist. If these differences are not present or not markedly different, an illusion of difference must be created. Fixations on particular bodily differences vary from culture to culture.

If everyone wore a costume to the grocery store, it wouldn't be so strange. But there's a reason men don't wear costumes to the grocery store. The grocery store is not a place where any kind of special occasion is happening. You are there to get food, purchase it, and leave. It is not a place or time of celebration. People generally don't dress up for everyday life simply because there is no reason to. Dressing up is no longer a fun thing to do when you are expected to do it every day, even when you don't want to, even when you don't have the time, even when you don't have the money, even when you don't see the point.

Men are never expected to dress up. Even when dressing up would be appropriate and is encouraged - such as at red carpet events. Men often show up wearing jeans and t-shirts to such events and no one cares. Women who show up to a celebratory event Not In Costume or Not-Good-Enough Costume are frequently subjected to public humiliation. She needs her female uniform! Otherwise, how will anyone know that she's performing? It's like a man who is bewildered when the maid he has hired comes to clean his house in her normal street clothes. Where is the respect? It's uncomfortable! Doesn't she know that she must be dressed up in her special costume to reinforce that there's a difference between her and him -- while he stands there in his stained sweatshirt, old jeans, and dirty socks? This is how men generally see un-feminized women; as being "out of costume". They find it disrespectful.

In her maid uniform, her role is to serve the man and clean for him. Her costume makes this difference real. His role is to stand around, do nothing, and pay her - that is, he has no role. He has no special uniform, because he is just "normal" - he's not performing. How will everyone know who to treat like a servant and who to treat like a master if everybody is dressed the same?

Men are allowed to wear costumes, if they so choose, even though men who dress up are sometimes bullied by other men, who feel uncomfortable that another man is performing for them. They see that he is playing a role, in his costume; they wonder what role they are expected to play. It can confuse and enrage them.

But in a context where men have all agreed to show up dressed up in costume, it's a whole lot of fun. Everyone feels on equal footing because everyone is wearing something that's a little bit ridiculous, a little bit impractical. The more impractical, the better! It shows how much money and/or time you have to spend on things that serve only one purpose - decorations, which serve the purpose of being looked at - like gems and lace and tulle and makeup and funny hats. But when celebratory times are over, men put away these silly costumes and get back to serious business.

Yet, women are expected to remain in costume all the time, even and especially when it is most impractical. Even when men do dress up, their standards for what counts as 'dressed up' are far lower than for women. Men's "costumes" are markedly different from their normal everyday clothing, but they still generally remain comfortable enough to move around in. Women's costumes regularly constrict movement, speed, blood flow, and even breathing. Women's costumes itch, pinch, poke, dig in, cause rashes, cause infections, reveal, break, stain, scratch, and hurt. They impact our vision, affect our breathing and speech, and distract us from what is happening around us. Women's costumes reduce our reaction time by impairing our ability to sense our surroundings. Women's costumes further prevent us from responding effectively to situations due to the extra care and effort it takes to navigate in such unwieldy garments. Wearing the "female uniform" day in an day out puts us in danger. We are not as able to care for ourselves when caught in these feminine trappings, and things like wearing high heels and tight clothing can cause us to adopt musculature imbalances that wears away at our joints over time, causing long-term damage to our bodies. Femininity is a silent killer.

And even though women have less free time and less money than men do, our costumes are still expected to appear as if we have more money and time than we really do. Our costumes are supposed to look like we really cared about what others would think of us. If it doesn't look like we "care about our appearance" (by not wearing costumes with superfluous, decorative details), then we are judged as having committed a crime -- we are Disgusting and worthy of great contempt and ridicule from both men and women. We are not being decorative, and that is one of the only things women are any good for. If I'm not nice to look at, am I worth anything at all?

Women who choose to skip the female uniform are often characterized as suffering poor mental health - they are "neglecting themselves". But perhaps wearing a costume every day is itself a form of neglect. It is neglecting your own right to be comfortable - neglecting your need to be able to move around freely and breathe easily. It is neglecting your body's sensations telling you that you are in pain; that you are wasting time that could be better spent on other things; that you are hurting yourself. What could cause more mental health problems than treating yourself like a decorative object? What could be more mentally damaging than cultivating your view of yourself as an object to be consumed for other people's pleasure?

The costume is not necessary. You can take it off. Underneath it, there is no character; a real person exists, and you deserve your own careful, loving attention.

[addictedtocaring]

What could cause more mental health problems than treating yourself like a decorative object?

[retropopcult]

“Female railroad workers employed during wartime eat in the break room of the Chicago and Northwestern Railroad in Clinton, Iowa.” Photographed by Jack Delano in June 1943.

[nayters]

[mithliya]

people often think of islam as the root of the misogyny that exists in the muslim world, but it isn’t. it’s a means of enforcing and justifying the misogyny that already existed to begin with. it’s utilised in a manner that keeps women quiet and complacent in our own oppression, because god told us that was our role and if we go against that then we’re going against god. it didn’t create the misogyny, but it did make it a lot more difficult for us to combat it.

[girlboss-enthusiast]

I’ve done a really good job of making my online experience women-centered, to the point where I’m like, “Ugh, the infighting on radblr is so exhausting!” because I forget what the alternative is.

Then I went on /r/AskMen last night, and remembered. The sheer contempt men feel for women…I should know by now but it still shocks me to see it written or stated without shame.

[princesskuragina]

less romanticizing high school more media about how being 17 is the worst human experience imaginable

[celebrityworshipsyndromee]

Tolerating a situation where you are uncomfortable doesn’t make you a good person. People mistake that for a virtue like patience but it’s actually a vice. It is much more righteous to always be honest with yourself and confront your reality, rather than deluded for the sake of other people. Living your life in another person’s vision or denying your own comfortability is demonic actually, like a possession. It is often mistaken for humility but it is not. Forging your own way gracefully should be the goal. Compulsory and indiscriminate tolerance or obedience is immoral.. Privacy, solitude, and quiet disobedience are so important as virtues to life your life by. 

[nohohankerotomania-deactivated2]