Answering all the man-defenders in the notes and tagging you at the bottom.
I want to remind you all that nobody said every woman will (or even should) leave their male partners. We are making the argument that RADICAL FEMINISTS in 2024 should understand why male/female relationships are an impossible obstacle to female liberation. Radical feminism is not just a 60s/70s wave but a set of feminist beliefs that have been worked on since it was commonplace that women said shit like "political lesbianism." So when you present the lie that most radfems from the 60s were partnered up with men, remember that we're in 2024 and have learned a lot in the last 60 years.
What does radical feminism mean? (Featuring a simple Google search)
Radical feminism calls for a radical re-ordering of society in which male supremacy is eliminated in all social and economic contexts. See how it doesn't say "anyone can be a radical feminist by virtue of how many hours she's volunteered at the shelter"? Any feminist can volunteer at the shelter - and they do! And should! Many who are pro-sex work volunteer at shelters, are they radfem now? To be a radical feminist, you've actually got to envision and work towards a radical re-ordering of society which we are arguing requires at least a temporary end to male/female relationships from those who call themselves radical. There is only so long we can spend energy picking up the pieces of male on female domestic violence before we admit that it's not even super RADICAL to say "men don't deserve women." But radical feminist energy can't go to anything progressive while we're managing the domestic violence currently occurring BECAUSE male/female relationships are viewed as inevitable. Obviously your Christian Aunt Helen is not going to leave Uncle Bobby and nobody is expecting her to. But if you're radical, you'd understand why it's necessary to do so when it comes to eliminating male supremacy. When a toddler acts up you don't give it a treat. Prioritise women. Do what it takes. Let's stop debating whether nail polish is feminist or not and actually address the elephant (your boyfriend) in the room. I've been doing this for 15 years and ruined my sex life making sure I was doing everything perfectly feminist WITH A WOMAN while you chose a whole arse man. Can you tell I'm exhausted? I stopped calling myself a radical feminist for years because you all question lesbian/gay solidarity--classes you oppress!--while you go home to one of the men who is actually attracted to women, one of those who actually rape us. The reality is that the decision to abandon men is the most radical choice and to partner up with one is the least. Forget about makeup and heels, that's nothing compared to the choice to shack up with a man. The fact some of you are bisexual is mind-boggling. At least with straight women I can understand the fear of loneliness, albeit feelings not being a priority under radical feminism.
Radical feminists seek to abolish patriarchy by challenging existing social norms and institutions. Hmm, I wonder what sort of social norms and institutions separatism critiques? I know! The idea that women need a man to be happy--when studies show het women are happier single!--and the institution of heterosexual marriage as the ultimate patriarchal tool! But you won't let us be radical feminists and challenge these misogynistic norms and institutions because you see them as so inherent to womanhood that it's apparently "misogynistic" of US to do so! As if all 60% of radfems who answered "no" to "will female liberation be achieved while "radical" feminists defend male/female relationships?" were lesbian. But of course we're predatory misogynists just trying to get in your pants, we are LESBIANS after all. Discrediting lesbians' feminist politics by virtue of our sexual orientation is homophobic. Maybe you should stop perceiving us as men, the enemy, when you're the one who chooses to sleep next to one. Projection and distraction. Let women critically think, like we do with the sex industry. You're essentially calling us SWERFs for challenging your "choice." Or is it HERFs? (hetpartnered exclusionary radical feminists). LMAO.
Radical feminists locate the root cause of women's oppression in patriarchal gender relations. What is more of a hotbed for men to dominate and abuse a woman than a male/female relationship? It's gender under a microscope! But tell me "not all men," and how much you love deadbeat Danny. Again, regular feminists are centrist and therefore don't need to critically think about how to tear this fucker of a patriarchal society down. They can just work on mopping up when men abuse, like we do when we volunteer. Like those who would rather deal with the effects of climate change rather than get to the root of it--capitalism--and rip it out. What separates us from liberal/mainstream feminism is that they are individualistic and we have an eye on the future. Liberal/mainstream feminism is all about individual choices and individual responses. Part of this individualistic cycle is getting a doomer attitude that men will always abuse -> the abuse happens -> other women help clean up the mess (whether it be friends, family members, volunteers, support workers). That's feminism to them. No liberation, really. The reason us radicals keep going on about separatism is because it INTERCEPTS THE CYCLE. If more girls are socialised with independent female role models at the front of the pack, the vanguards of feminism like radicals should be, then they will find male/female relationships less inevitable for them, too. They might not be separatist, but they'll be aware it is possible and perhaps will rethink getting with any man for the sake of it - because it currently is supposed to validate a woman's worth to be with a man. Men will also be aware that women are choosing to disband from them due to their behaviour. Consequences and all that. Hell, the judicial system isn't doing it.
Nobody is holding a gun to your head and telling you to break up with Jakey. What we are saying is that radical feminism requires radical action, and what you consider "radical" is baseline. All feminists should help out at the shelter. What was radical in 1890, like females wearing pants, is normal now. What was radical in 1970, like the pill, is normal now. Move on and realise that we need to intensify our action because we have NEW challenges now: more men are raised on porn today due to technology. They're objectively not safe to have sex with. Every woman and her cat has an OnlyFans and an eating disorder and gets filler in her face. Women hate themselves more than ever. We have tried everything... what's left? Male/female relationships. Gotta go, sorry. If you are actually radical you'd know that.
I think all types of feminism put off the inevitable final obstacle to female liberation--withdrawing sex and relationships with men until they fix their behaviour--BECAUSE they understand it's a tough ask. Women have been raised on impossible men in fairy tales, after all. But radical feminism is filled with tough asks. It's not for the faint of heart. That's the point. We aren't here to fuck spiders.
WHERE IS THE PUNK ENERGY?! FUCK MEN!!!!!!
I'm tired of debating about whether minor things women do are feminist or not when we all know that male/female relationships are the true thorn in feminism's side. So, back to my post, which hasn't been defeated:
"a woman who gets botox, wears high heels and a face full of makeup but refuses to date or have sex with men despite being attracted to them is far more radical than any self-proclaimed "radfem" with a radblr blog who's het-partnered. yes, even if she wears no makeup. choosing to refuse OSA men sex and relationships is quite literally the most radical decision possible. and only OSA women can do in a meaningful sense (because lesbians aren't attracted to men at all so there is no choice). OSA women hold the keys to female liberation but most won't drive the fuckin car"
@radicalstoner @forwomenbiwomen @insectfem @kthulhu42 @rahmansmusic @carpathxandridge @birdfem @deadfish-inabarrel @terven @mercuryfem @tranzzitts @saiyxn
