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[biomaterialart]

Brennan not being in count the rice episode means that no one mentioned how vampires have to count grains. Of Sam knew a vampire I feel like he would invite them to the show to torment them the same as he does brennan

I made this quickly and wanted to share what I was thinking of the whole time

[pluvialcity]

shane waking ilya up at the cottage with his "wait, I have another idea" monologue about starting a charity makes me think that shane is one of those people who just Does That periodically

like he'll be gnawing on an idea for a couple days, and he'll go to sleep thinking about it, and then one day he'll wake up at 3am and it's finally done percolating and he has to Tell Someone About It Right Now and every time ilya is just like

[themoonandmyman]

baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.

Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.

[allstarrocks]

if shane hadnt gotten hit and ilya had really gone over to his place to try and break it off with him i imagine that shane wouldve been sooo happy ilyas here hes coming through the Front Door and he has the code and ilya wouldve been like 'i need to talk to you' and shane wouldve been kind of giddy all smiles 'me too... ive been wanting to ask you - would you, i mean, if you wanted you could come stay with me at my cottage this summer. for a few weeks. or one. or whatever. its really private, we'd have it all to ourselves.' and hed be doing his little frog smile and ilya would just be [tampa hotel room style groan] [tampa hotel room style we cant do this] [fold and cave and say he'll 'think about it']

[catsolari]

Domestic boys!!

Bonus points if you know the oil they use 👀

[bostonlilyofthevalley]

chaotic ilya hc i feel like he’s the type of guy to assume that the other person is gonna hang up the phone when they’re done talking so one time he takes a call while he’s with shane in Secret could be sveta he says “okaie bye” and puts his phone down on the couch and pulls shane back into his lap like “sorry moy pomidor you were saying?” and shane gets back to his rant about something hockey-related and sveta’s just on the other line gobsmacked at what she’s overhearing so she hangs up the phone and calls ilya back and ilya answers and before he can say anything sveta’s like “ilya is that shane hollander with you also why are you calling him a tomato” and ilya very quickly learns that his actions have consequences and sveta’s just dying on the other end of the call

[penandinkprincess]

in my heart ilya LOVES standing right behind shane and being snuggly while shane is in the kitchen, which makes me laugh about the idea of them watching the bear and ilya then having an ongoing bit of announcing "behind!" as he's literally pressing RIGHT against shane's back

"behind!"

*dryly* "i mean yeah. i kind of noticed."

"what? is for safety. you suddenly do not like safety, hollander?"

[penandinkprincess]

saw your post about baby shane and night night rules and it speaks to me. imagining little!shane bursting into tears because nana broke the night night rules and now the world has devolved into chaos and will never recover (until she gives him some chocolate milk and he's fine)

GOD nana is babysitting for the first time while yuna and david are on a date night and is trying to be indulgent grandma spoiling shane, and shane is NOT! HAVING! IT!

is VERY upset night night has been delayed and now!! you offer him chocolate milk???? HIS TEETH HAVE ALREADY BEEN BRUSHED. THERE CAN'T BE CHOCOLATE MILK AFTER TEETH BRUSHING.

just an absolute crisis lmao.

[academicblorbo]

Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again

Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net

Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go

[frightfullytreeish]

during a quiet night at the station harry turns to ravi and says 'hey rav, fuck marry kill, chim, eddie or buck?'

'obviously kill buck-' 'oh yeah, obviously' (buck, lifting his head up from where he's sprawled in a recliner: hey.) '-fuck eddie, I've got eyes. marry chim for the sweet captain privileges.'

(eddie, from the other recliner, without lifting his head: nice.)

'hey cap,' harry hollers, 'fuck marry kill, ravi, eddie or buck?'

'I'm pretty sure this is a HR violation,' says chim from where he's doing admin at the dining table. 'but uhhh. buck, I'm sorry, you're my brother and I love you, but I can’t. I've gotta kill you-'

(What the fuck?? says buck)

'transfer ravi to another house and then fuck him, I guess. eddie, I'll marry you.'

(yeah ok says eddie around a big yawn)

chim says, 'hen, you're exempt, lesbian card in play.' (thank you lord says hen without looking up from the book she's reading.) 'harry, you're exempt because I need to be able to look your mom in the eyes'

(And because he's, what? twelve? mutters buck.

Im eighteen and three quarters, hisses harry.

Spoken like a true 12 year old)

'buckaroo, fuck marry kill, eddie, ravi or-'

'I'm killing ravi.'

'ah, ah, let me finish! eddie, ravi or your truly.'

'kill ravi. then uh. Uh.' buck clears his throat. (hen lowers her book.) 'I'm uh, I'll marry chim, he, you know, I already know he's a good husband. a-and jee and nash are already buckley hans, so that's. convenient.'

'and you'll fuck eddie,' hen concludes, placidly.

'as a friend.'

'you don't want to marry me?' eddie says, sounding a little hurt.

'I - it's not that I don't want to marry you, I just really don't wanna fuck chim or ravi.'

'so you do want to fuck eddie,' ravi says.

'you said you'd fuck eddie!'

'well duh. I mean, i'm straight but look at him.'

'I'm always looking at him!!!'

an awkward silence. harry, deeply confused, whispers 'what is happening?'

'it's my turn,' says eddie, 'kill ravi. fuck chim, as a friend. marry buck.'

[penandinkprincess]

blessed with the divine vision that bb shane was a fucking STICKLER for equal application of rules when he was an itty bitty. he'll accept the rules just fine, but they will now be HOUSEHOLD rules.

and most of the time it's fine. shane's bedtime is 7:30 pm because he is so itty bitty, but yuna and david have always just gone to their room after that so bb just assumed they were also following The Time To Sleep rules.

which is all well and good until nana is visiting while staying with her sister, it's 7:40 pm, and she is just cooing and delighted at bb shane just repeating "night NIGHT" over and over from the doorway to the living room because she is not understanding that this is not him being cute and saying goodnight.

this is attempted enforcement of the rules because nana, it is time for NIGHT NIGHT and you are clearly NOT ready for night night, and to TOP IT ALL OFF!! YOU ARE KEEPING MAMA AND DADDY FROM NIGHT NIGHT. RULES!! BROKEN!! RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS LITTLE BABY FACE. >:(

[lovemedifferentmp3]

random Wyatt Hayes headcanons because I can’t sleep (Queen Dr. Lisa under the cut)

he played college hockey for 2 years before he was drafted

his older sister Kristy didn’t come out to their parents until they were both in college and out of the house and when the parents disowned her Wyatt disowned them because there’s no universe where his big sister is NOT his family

Kristy went to U of Toronto so when Wyatt got drafted by the Guardians it felt like fate

He and Kristy were roommates his first few years in Toronto because even his ELC felt like a lot of money and that freaked him out and also it just felt nice coming home to someone that loves him bc as it turns out playing for the nhl isn’t as fun as he thought

And Kristy like the big sister she is bullies him into having a life outside of his job “because it is at the end of the day just a job, Wyatt.”

Wyatt’s hobbies include his local comics store, where he finds via a flyer about a regular game of D&D, and the community center Kristy dragged him to for one volunteer shift she did for class credit. Her work and hustle made her too busy to return (bc she refuses to let her baby brother pay for everything, nhl money or no) but Wyatt kept going back

Wyatt makes friends everywhere he goes except for on the team. The guys tolerate him okay, but if he talks to any of them too long he gets the ick (he’s not really into making friends with guys who talk about people like those he loves that way)

He only admits it to Kristy, and later to Lisa, that he thinks the head coach would have him traded long ago if it were his choice, but the gm has some weird “don’t want anyone else to have you” complex about him, which has him just. warmin the bench

Once at the community center, he catches one kid calling another “gay” as an insult and he has his own Hilary Duff PSA moment. (the kids are too young to grt the reference anyway). And then Wyatt gives them an impromptu lesson about chirping.

“The key to a good chirp is that it’s gotta be about something that a guy can change, right? Like, no one can change their sexuality, but they do have the psower to change their terrible mustache right? Or if their game is bad, you can chirp them about that, because your game is always something you can get better at.” “What if you know they can’t get better?” “Then you say nothing at all. And that’s even worse, because then they aren’t even worth the effort of chirping. You know who’s really good at all of this actually? Ilya Rozanov. No I’m serious, he never digs at guys over things they can’t change, and he’ll silent treatment anyone he doesn’t respect and it drives them crazy.”

Kristy comes home one day and faceplants on the couch going “I’m in love. And it’s TERRIBLE” bc the fling she had with a Vancouver filmmaker working on location in town is actually super serious oh noooooo

And then when Wyatt finally meets Eve (awkwardly. when he got home after midnight from a roadie and Eve was in the kitchen wearing Big Shirt No Pants.) he knows. This is it for Kristy.

Wyatt meets Lisa by chance when he takes one of his friends in to the ER for appendicitis (bc in his adventuring party he IS the guy you call when you need help moving or a ride to the hospital)

Lisa is a resident on her Emergency rotation and ofc Wyatt Notices her immediately but in a “wow she’s beautiful but she’s at her job and I am just some guy so I will not bother her” kind of way

But he’s Hazy and has little filter with his friends so he tells his buddy something like “wow. she’s beautiful.” and is immediately betrayed when the morphine hits.

Lisa is flattered and Wyatt is horrified but she accepts his apology and despite what his buddy says “you do not have to give me your number. in fact, please don’t.”

And that’s it. UNTIL.

Wyatt takes Kristy out to her favorite lesbian bar to drink her feelings over Eve, who’s on a plane to the west coast, and bumps into 🥁🥁🥁 Dr. Lisa

And then Wyatt is embarrassed all over again bc he double never had a shot with the gorgeous gay doctor and during his anxious babble Lisa catches that and blurts out that she’s not a lesbian, she’s just out with friends from work and they picked the bar.

And then they ignore their people and talk all night

At the end Lisa gives Wyatt her number with the caveat that she doesn’t have time to date or anything else. She’s not promising anything

They talk for weeks until their schedules align enough to go on a real date.

idk what the first date is rn but it ends with an AMAZING kiss and wyatt is pleading “when can I see you again” and lisa is like “I don’t know if I can” bc she’s already in too deep with this adorable younger hockey player who acts nothing like the jocks from her small town in bumfuck, ca, and he is nothing like she planned for

Hazy saying something like “I just want to spend time with you, and if the most you can do right now is a five minute coffee break, I’ll take it.”

“Five? I’m lucky if I get two.”

“I’ll gladly take it.”

And they get by on those little moments. Wyatt drops by the hospital during his gaps in schedule, bringing coffee and snacks and (most precious of all) chocolate covered espresso beans. He starts buying donuts for the nurses to bribe them. And his reputation starts to precede him when Lisa changes rotations

While he’s falling in love, Kristy is pining, and for the first time ever, Wyatt is the one to give his sister tough love, bc she’s not happy here anymore, so maybe she needs to go where she can be happy. Like Vancouver. And Wyatt has a whole life (and a girlfriend now), so Kristy should go live her own.

Okay but moving across the country is crazy. You get that’s crazy right? / So what? Swing big, Kris

And when Kristy finally meets Lisa (awkwardly, when Lisa stumbled out of Wyatt’s room at 10am in one of his shirts—bc she was sleeping in while he had morning practice) she knows that this is It for her baby brother.

Lisa is Wyatt’s date to Kristy and Eve’s wedding. Wyatt officiates, because he got one of those online certificates

Kristy returns the favor and officiates Lisa and Wyatt’s wedding a couple years later

For a minute, Wyatt was dreading doing the wedding thing because he didn’t have any family besides Kristy and Eve to invite, but he actually has a whole community that he and his sister built together

In a similar vein, Lisa decides to take Hayes as her name to start their own chapter of the Hayes family

When Eve announces that she’s pregnant, Wyatt sobs, he’s so happy and proud of his sister and her family, like, she is the bravest strongest person he knows and her dreams are coming true

And Wyatt married his dream girl, and maybe his dream job wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, but that’s life. His wife has her dream job and it pisses her off sometimes too.

When he gets to Ottawa, it makes him sad to learn just how much team culture is a choice, and that he could have been happy on a team like this the whole time? damn

he and zane boodram are team dads. ilya is captain ofc, but he’s also the goofy slavic uncle whose advice is more like a riddle at a crossroads

hazy’s top piece of advice to any rook who asks is: get people in your life who don’t give a shit about hockey. I am so serious. your life cannot only be this. give yourself one or two people to remind you of that. marry one, if you can

Cut to shane hearing this after he joins the team and being deeply confused and disturbed (Shane Hollander is of course the exception that proves the rule)

Wyatt is actually one of Shane’s first friends on the Cens bc by virtue of being a camp coach Shane knows him already, and knows that he’s a safe person. And at some point between the outing and the first game together Wyatt just gives Shane a look and asks, “you’ll be good to him, right?” and nothing wins Shane Hollander over faster than knowing that they’re looking out for Ilya

I don’t see Wyatt and Lisa having kids but I do see Wyatt being a devoted cat dad. He makes posts like that guy on the Indiana Pacers whose brand is Nerdy Cat Dad.

Also Wyatt gets pegged.

[elieowlsclownery]

As sad as it is to lose not one Lionman but TWO, I always felt in my gut that this sort of death was what Campaign 4 was made for. The greatest play ever performed on the face of Araman is about a failed rebellion. This season started with the hanging of a man who lead his own failed rebellion. Failure and dying before the finish line did not mean the effort was wasted. It didn’t mean they were in the wrong. They may have lost, but because of their efforts those that came after had the strength to continue that fight. Brennan created a campaign where the odds can seem impossible, but unless the characters are willing to stake their lives and fail, nothing will improve. And when characters do fail their efforts won’t be for nothing, and they’re able pass on their hopes for another to pick up and continue. There will never be another Teor, but his memory and efforts will be carried forward by those who can still fight.

[shieldofiron]

Ilya: Oh no. I'm in trouble.

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

ilya sending shane a bouquet of lilies on his birthday every year after they first hook up just to get shane's reaction. why the fuck would you think it's okay to send me flowers. knowing how angry kitten shane would look. how it would get under his skin and make him pretend he didn't want to keep seeing ilya but in truth he's jerking off to those flowers. maybe he even saves one from every bouquet. he doesn't know why. they make his skin prickle and flush with the secret. they're not even signed, nobody would know except shane. but what if they found out. it's so hot and it shouldn't be. why is it so hot? and then the tuna meltdown happens and he starts dating rose and his birthday comes around and there are no flowers. no lilies magically appear on his counter where the housekeeper put them when they were delivered. and shane. shane breaks down. opens and closes his texts from lily about a hundred times. even starts typing a couple times. considers sending a picture of his gifts and saying "somethings missing" or maybe a picture of one of the flowers he's saved from years prior. but he can't. he can't. and now he's alone in his room on his birthday crying over flowers he didn't get and he can't even talk to anyone about it

[lavenderprose]

[Cliff Marleau voice] So your mom named you Connor Connors??

[Connor Connors voice] Nah Connors is my step-dad's name. I was eight when my mom married him and he'd been my dad for as long as I could remember so I wanted to change my last name to his too. She tried to talk me out of it but I was a pretty stubborn kid.

[Ilya Rozanov voice] So you. You did this to yourself, Connie.

[Connor Connors voice] Yeah :)

[egreton]

In this life.