i am in dire need of a nap

i like marvel, space, math, programming, sonic, miraculous ladybug, classic rock, uhh etc. | 28

[glubby]

i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.

[0v9]

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

[curoopeez]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[generic-internet-name]

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

[generic-internet-name]

you can't get out that way!

[generic-internet-name]

that's not very helpful.

[generic-internet-name]

maybe the open window will help.

[generic-internet-name]

try the open window instead.

[mint-swirl]

i’m on that weird shit. i’m jacking odd. disturbating. creeping my meat

[mint-swirl]

*scared* what’s gonna happen on june tenth

[dogpuppy]

[goth-queen]

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

Id fuck tigress from king fu panda

but would she fuck you? humble yourself

[krishnahare]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[chirasul]

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

[shitidiotloserheritageposts]

heritage post

[chirasul]

come on man

[allistardust]

Hey everyone, sad news. Unfortunately, my pet Russian Tortoise, Colossus, unexpectedly passed away today. I am crushed. I'm looking into getting him cremated and his shell preserved as a memorial, but the process is over my budget and money is tight for me right now, so I have started a fundraiser for him. If anyone is willing to pitch in, it would mean the world to me 🐢🤍

Donate to Honoring Colossus: Cremation and Memorial Fund, organized by Allison Gray

Pet End of Life Processing: Cremation and shell preservation of my late to… Allison Gray needs your support for Honoring Colossus: Cremation

[minecraft]

[canoncanidae]

[elfstrogenized]

You are perma tf'd into the first pokemon you generate on this website, how happy are you wit your new form

[dreamyfreakout]

hell yea..

[nathalia-sod]

Yeahokaysure!

[modmad]

I mean for a cartoonist this is pretty much ideal

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[hyperrbolic-orange]

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

[dancinbutterfly]

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

[demonius-darkblade]

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

[queen-elizabeth-the-3st]

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

I was born an identical twin shortly after 911, my mum is CONVINCED me and my sister are the twin towers reincarnate

[demonius-darkblade]

HUH

[anxeious]