no thoughts head empty

[that-one-idiot-11]

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[eatpussypraylove]

[cowboyhatesithere]

Daily gratitude

I don’t have kids

I don’t spend money on nicotine

I don’t gamble my money away on sports

I’m not reliant on a chat bot for all my life functions

My books/CDs/DVDs collection is plentiful

[butterflypeaflowertea]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was doomed to take things too seriously and think about them forever

[jesterbots]

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[noisepuppy]

I asked if this was an art installation and a Danish person said "no this is quite a serious impedance"

[finalgirlguy]

lucy dacus review for stone butch blues is so beautiful 💌 happy lesbian visibility week

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[gaysie]

thank god they made black sails before everyone who knew how to do lighting and composition for television shows committed ritual suicide

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

Flipping the narrative here i love small talk and i’m very good at it. I love saying “thank god we had that rain!” And “the construction downtown is CRAZY” it gives me a rush

[heygoowhatsnew]

Leilani Bishop outtakes from “live through this”

Photos by Ellen von Unwerth

[kosmogrl]

we seriously need to have a conversation about how evil, slow, and lifeless january is

[kosmogrl]

[sec0ndwind]

[soulmvtes]

january is one of those months where you experience every feeling on the human spectrum and you just have to go about your day like that isn't happening

[ostolero]

[treehoppers]

Stardoug's Alpine Adventures by bookhouse boy

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