Call Me Antisocial, Call It Masturbation

Either way it's a solo operation.

[river-road-thoughts]

Not to sound cocky as shit but I’m a fucking good person with a big heart and I deserve a lot more than the shitty hand that life has dealt me this far

[sein-wie-ich]

*atm

[nick-avallone]

Y’all are awfully communist for a bunch of people who hate group projects

[rotoloboi]

[34511975-deactivated20160912]

[thecomplaintionist]

Mingus Reedus

[matchboxvingt-deactivated202310]

[mooglemain]

[matchboxvingt-deactivated202310]

The holy trinity

[lobisoma-deactivated20210910]

hey…

…got any grapes?

[bongcop]

[bongcop]

a happy ending! 

[marisatomay]

me: if youre dead you dont have to do homework or get stressed over school so it would eliminate anxiety

my therapist:

[sexybritishllama]

so there’s this board in our school showing a bunch of amazing answers people actually gave in exams. its like a hall of shame

[sexybritishllama]

A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING TO SEE SOME MORE OF THESE SO HERE YOU GO

[themasterofawkwardness]

IT’S CALLED TEST TAKING NOT CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY

[danielkanhai]

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

[jazzcochina-deactivated20180807]

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.

[dan-draper-deactivated20190415]

tempting

[borealing]

Men like to believe theyd be great in apocalypse scenarios but they dont even know how to sew

[madgastronomer]

Some male friends of mine were once talking about how useful they’d be in an apocalypse, and I pointed out that as a weaver and sewer and maker of stuff, I’d be pretty damn useful and they tried to tell me they could just loot clothes from WalMart and they’d be fine. As if WalMart has endless supplies without weekly deliveries.

[alls-well-that-ends-weird]

So just last night a friend of mine was talking about who he’d round up in the event of a zombie apocalypse and how I’m his go-to farmer on account of I know how to keep an entire homestead up and running and we’re talking about what kind of resources I’d need to keep a colony of about 50-ish people alive and i bring up what all goes into processing wool for clothing and such and he just kind of stops me like ‘wait, wait, we don’t need to do all of that because we can scavenge for clothes we don’t need to be able to make them’ and i’m just like, ‘dude, that works in the short-term maybe but if this community is going to be sustainable you’ve gotta have people whose job it is to make clothes and blankets and shit’

also cloth rots pretty quickly when left exposed to the elements and after the first few years or so anything we manage to scavenge isn’t going to be wearable anymore and anywho we’ve got to teach the kids everything or they’re not gonna know what to do some decades down the line when everything’s too rusted or rotted out to be of any practical use anymore, etc etc, and he’s reckoning that things like woodworking and smithing and ranching are more important than say, cleaning or cooking or dairying and meanwhile i’m just smh may all the gods have mercy on this poor fool

He also balked when i brought up how to run a laundry and what all was needed to make everyday shit like soap and toothpaste - like dude, you think this is going to be all about hunting and scavenging and being neato manly-man drifters like in the walking dead let me teach you a thing about keeping a village alive and healthy for more than a week man most of it is shit you keep thinking is non-essential on account of it being “women’s work” or “simple chores” that’re actually pretty labor-intensive and take time, training, knowledge, and practice to do successfully, let alone well, and are 100% absolutely necessary work in order for you to have any reasonably good quality of life after the world ends

[lierdumoa]

I’m reminded of this post I read a while back about some guy who thought his underwear lasted years because his wife would periodically replace his boxers and socks with identical boxers and socks when they started to look old and he just … never noticed.

[biglawbear]

Men would literally fucking die in an apocalypse because they’re too fucking manly to survive I can’t believe this

[ramblingandpie]

I’m like 99% sure that you can totally believe that.

[biglawbear]

But that 1% of me is like… Wouldn’t the desire to survive kick in at some point? Wouldn’t hypermasculine men at some point say, “wow everyone in my Man Commune keeps dying of abscesses in their gums maybe I should learn to make toothpaste”? Would they literally rather die???

[kittenwitchandthebadvibes]

Like all mental illnesses, eating disorders can be illogical and difficult to tackle alone. It’s not your fault that you were drafted into this fight, but I know you have what it takes to win! You deserve to have a healthy relationship with food, and with the way you view yourself. You are incredible, you are strong, and you deserve to eat 💖 A BONUS SKETCH OF THE AFTERMATH

[tenderfeeling]

*naruto runs into your heart*

[sodiscreetlysympathetic-deactiv]

[grace--upon--grace]

[thebootydiaries]

me before working out: i dont wanna do this

me while working out: I D O N T W A N N A D O T H I S

me after working out: WOW, i am simply phenomenal. every drop of blood running through my veins is graced with the ichor of the gods, i am an olympic athlete

[daily-showerthoughts]

It would really suck getting kidnapped with a cold. If they taped your mouth shut, you really wouldn’t be able to breathe.

[racisrn-deactivated20130915]

space is weird

[pemsylvania-deactivated20190105]

Did you know that if you put Saturn in water it would float? Or that we are moving through space at the rate of 530km a second? Or that the moon is drifting away from Earth? What about that the light hitting the earth right now is 30 thousand years old?

[racisrn-deactivated20130915]

thanks nasa