Reasons i shouldn't have a blog.

× I'm totally not a bog creature ×thats exactly what a bog creature would say but no

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[inksplit]

[kaprika]

Remember

[shoelace-and-friends]

It’s time for Nugget posting

[wyldepatheticgecko-deactivated2]

Was someone going to tell me that Marvel comics has a shark puppy, or was I supposed to figure that out myself?

This is Jeff, and hOLY SHIT, he is BABY

[shoelace-and-friends]

that second drawing is Stitch energy

[valtsv]

[contac]

[monophyletic]

Damn babe that’s crazy *continues to butter my biscuit*

[islamicquotesandreminders]

#SaveShiekhJarrah

[badassdemonsword]

[akumeoy]

wheere do i go to get ohio guys

[animatedtext]

[guerrillatech]

[headspace-hotel]

I thought this was my hometown for a second

[enchantingcoffeenightmare]

[tacofriend]

So this has actually been cited by academics as part of the major draw to online spaces is the fact that just existing in public is reacted to with hostility and punishment. Gretchen McCulloch discussed this is in her book Because Internet, citing research that shows teens and young adults want to be outside! We want to spend time in social places, it’s just that there aren’t any places to exist in public without being charged for it.

[learn2anarchy]

[binch-worm]

When I was homeless as a kid my little brother and I loved to go to the library. We would keep warm in there reading good books all day long. Until residents of the town complained about us “loitering” at the library each day. The library staff then told us we were no longer allowed to stay more than an hour at a time. Imagine seeing two homeless children spending their entire days quietly reading just to keep out of the cold and having a damn problem with it.

[animatedtext]

requested by lnmpoems

[allsonargent]

Wayne + holding dogs

[everthesame]

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

[naznomad]

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

[hedwig-dordt]

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

[shredsandpatches]

DO A BARREL ROLL

[jottingprosaist]

#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??

Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

[mugsandpugs-deactivated20160917]

… guys

….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this? “HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”

… I mean. Comparatively…

[aphroditeinthetomb]

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.

[peccaviofthesparrow]

@master-of-strings

[teashoesandhair]

OK so I’m sure people are aware of this, but just in case you’re not: there is an annual ‘award’ given every year by the Literary Review for bad sex scenes in fiction. The above entry (sorry) by Morrissey won this illustrious award in 2015 (and yes, he threw a massive tantrum about it, because he’s Morrissey):

The best part of this is that the 2016 nominations were just announced, and OH BOY, there are some absolute crackers this year:

And in case anyone is interested, these are some of the entries that Morrissey beat to the top prize last year:

I agree. We are spoilt by fanfiction. 

[saanphoenix-deactivated20260411]

I don’t know who to laugh at more, the guy having an existential crisis before getting a blowjob or the one going, “Mmm. Papaya. Much more arousing than this nonsense.”

I will never fear about my porn again.

[anthonytheshuhite]

GO BACK TO SONGWRITING MORRISSEY

[arcticlucie]

If I ever write anything this atrocious, please, someone, anyone, smack me upside the head.

[disteal]

Come, sonny boy

[frootloopstruggle-deactivated20]

@sephet everything in this post is gold.

[seeminglyseph]

On days when I look at my writing and worry I have failed… I have not failed as hard as these people. jfc

[gehayi]

If you’re wondering who won for 2020, the answer is nobody.

Bad sex award cancelled as public exposed to ‘too many bad things in 2020′

[foggybruise]

I wasnt loved as a child so now I'm evil and dont go to bed on time

[sistertaxon]

there’s me in the corner, there’s me in the spotlight,

[akumeoy]