Oops No Thoughts

Vibe director at your mom’s house ✨I’m something of an idiot myself 😎 Here’s a place to hide all my things ✨

[urmainbbsdiary]

I think my depression has unintentional made me a bitch in the biggest way possible, though no one else may have noticed I’ve been thinking about it nonstop lately.

So im gonna be honest / vent it out / get it off my chest - whatever you want to classify this as. I need to, I have to.

For a few years I just wanted to go unnoticed, not be in charge, just sit back and let everyone else do things - let go of responsibility (or just allow myself to be depressed if you will) so I’ve been holding myself back; but not just in a trap myself in the house way (though also yes from time to time) but more so in an overthinking and in retrospect shitty way. I’ll start quiet around people watching their effort level and figure out where everyone stands and then find the middle ground and stick myself there, holding myself back and while not necessarily feigning incompetence but rather just not letting myself give more than 60% in hopes I don’t get noticed / make the people I care about look better than me.

I’ve realized recently though, what I thought was just me taking a breath / step back wasn’t the case at all I’ve instead been handicapping not just myself but everyone around me. I’ve been mentally critiquing, judging and classifying everyone around me but not helping at all, just silently rooting for them to stay mediocre unintentionally. Letting the stagnant under the understanding they’ve hit the height of their potential in a plethora of fields, I overstepped and under rooted for them, accidentally becoming almost a silent foe doing nothing but judging from the corner. And I feel so gross now that I realized it, I can’t think of anything else. I like to think of myself as kind, understanding and supportive but I’ve unintentionally been tearing down every one I love every day bc assuming this was the most they could ever be. I’m saddened at myself for holding everyone back and being so critical of everyone I love.

Anyways my pretty words are fading and I feel like an ass. I’m no longer gonna hold myself back to falsely make other feels better, we’re all just gonna grow together as it was supposed to be the whole time.

Tldr; I’ve been treating literally everyone around me like they’re my first born performing their toddler talent show in my living room. And I’ve been doing this most of my adult life. Oops. Fuck. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[urmainbbsdiary]

I found my unofficial husbands twitter (he gave it to me unprompted) and I’m seeing his tweets about me the last few months 🥹😩😭💕

[urmainbbsdiary]

I’m determined to get myself out there this year no matter what.

I can feel my skeleton itching to be released but my brain keeps me trapped in the crawl space - every post feels like a scream for attention that I beat myself up for but I know it’s just uncomfortability (I swear that’s a real word) and I normally love that feel but being perceived makes me panic in a way it shouldn’t. I’m tired of that feeling, I know I’m on the cusp of changing myself entirely I just need to commit to this next step and this time - im doing it.

[flutterbvnny]

daily affirmation i do NOT have a secret disgusting evil hidden within me that will some day make its way out

[ross-hollander]

I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.

[sentientsky]

repeating this to myself forever and ever

[urmainbbsdiary]

✨ Manifestation / Mood Board for 2026 ✨

l've been posting all of my mood / manifestation boards for 2026 for a few reasons

1. It keeps me accountable

2. It's me immediately putting energy into those ideas and making them realities

A big goal for me this year is to stop hiding myself and put myself out there more, stop dimming my own spark if you will so posting these manifestations is the first step in not just meeting my goals but forcing what is normally a vulnerable part of myself out in the open. If I start with something so close to my heart maybe the rest will come easier ✨ it at least in theory 🫣😂

I haven't spoken on many of my goals more so l've just used them as art pieces but if that's something you guys are interested in I can do a little video breakdown of my goals and the process of me making my manifestation / mood boards 🫶🏻

[urmainbbsdiary]

My Yearbook covers 2025 v. 2026

I meant to post this closer to the new year but l've been a little busy,

I wanted to keep them kinda similar since a lot of my new years goals either build upon or continuing so I wanted to show that in the covers while also adding a little twist to keep it new / fresh 😌😇

[urmainbbsdiary]

I do my best work in the shower

[urmainbbsdiary]

Long time no see! For a long time I couldn’t get into this blog so I made a different one - I will now be semi connecting the two - if you don’t see me here again check urmainbbdiary - I wil be posting a few things from there to tie these together but that will be my new blog moving forward!

K love byeee 😇🫶🏻

[urmainbbsdiary]

lol. I didn’t research how anything worked before this - I will now be doing the same thing but in reverse, get ready for a little bit of archiving and make over 😌

[urmainbbsdiary]

There’s about to be some changes around here 🤠

[urmainbbsdiary]

Spaces have been filling liminal again lately..

[urmainbbsdiary]

Long time no see! For a long time I couldn’t get into this blog so I made a different one - I will now be semi connecting the two - if you don’t see me here again check urmainbbdiary - I wil be posting a few things from there to tie these together but that will be my new blog moving forward!

K love byeee 😇🫶🏻

[ot3-old]

[alvin-flang]

This is the polar opposite to “there isnt a single encouraging word on that screen”

[annabellioncourt]

every single word of this got me increasingly more hype for it so I had to search to be sure  that it’s for real and guys….

it  is  a  real  thing.

“It’s not a Pinocchio for all the family,” he said of his story, set in 1930s Italy. So is it a political film? “Of course. Pinocchio during the rise of Mussolini, do the math. A puppet during the rise of fascism, yes, it is,” said the filmmaker.

SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.

[ullathynell]

[gqa1]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

[nullelemental]

​this worked last night lets go for round two

[helloitsbreeisnotonline]

I really need some good luck rn

[king-kaiiro]

Definitely need it. I need rent my 7pm and the two extra people who said they would help me out do not seem to be continuing contact 😔 i’m really desperate and scared atm….