˚ ༘ ﹫ jordyn / lunella @valdangejoshi - Tumblr Blog

wait. what if. clichecore valdangelo edition.

I have no ideas for this yet but dear god. I am going to rotate this in my brain microwave.

ok ok ok. how about this. Leo and Nico were childhood friends who had a falling out. maybe it wasn’t exactly a falling out, but more like they lost contact. Maybe they went to the same elementary school or even were in scouts together, then lost contact in middle school because they went to two different schools, but met again in high school. and since elementary school, they’ve both lost their mothers and Nico has lost his sister too, and their personalities have changed a lot, and when they meet again, they cannot stand each other.

maybe Leo was the first person Nico came out to, but Nico is still closeted in high school (except to Hazel). Nico is terrified that Leo will spread rumors about him and he’s convinced Leo is talking about him behind his back. Which to be fair, Leo does trash talk him, but he doesn’t out him.

Hazel was Leo’s first crush maybe and that always weirded Nico out but it doesn’t bother him until high school when he decides that Leo is the spawn of Satan. he makes it his mission to protect Hazel from Leo even though Hazel has been dating Frank since seventh grade and Leo no longer seems interested in her like that.

Leo is best friends with the quarterback and his (closeted but definitely gay) girlfriend and Nico is like ugh. I can’t believe he hangs out with THAT kind of crowd. but really he’s jealous that Leo is so popular.

Hazel and Frank and Reyna, Nico’s best friends, start hanging out with Leo’s friend group, and it pisses both Leo and Nico off so much and they just can’t stand being around each other. They find each other absolutely infuriating. Nico doesn’t like Jason or Piper either but he REALLY hates Leo.

Jason finds out that Nico is gay at some point and he’s surprised, so Nico is like “wait, you didn’t know? Leo didn’t tell you?” and Jason of course is like “wtf Leo would never out someone like that!”

wait. hold on. this is turning into a high school au. clichecore is supposed to be about adults. hang on a second. I need to reconsider.

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ok I have considered and I have decided that this is not quite clichecore but it is certainly cliche. henseforth this idea will be referred to as valdangelo high school au.

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moving on.

Leo and Nico get assigned a group project and they go over to Nico’s house to work on it and they get pissed at each other and start fighting and then oops they’re making out! and afterwards they’re kind of staring at each other and Nico says “you like guys?” and Leo gets mad and says “I don’t like you!” so Nico says “you just had your tongue down my throat idiot” and Leo tells him “yeah, to shut you up!” and anyway Leo gets so mad that he picks up his stuff and leaves.

this was Nico’s first kiss btw. Leo dated Calypso for a bit and had his first kiss with her but it was Nico’s first kiss and he’s in agony over the fact that his first kiss was stolen by a guy who didn’t like him, and maybe doesn’t even like boys in general? at least, if he does he’s in denial about it.

Nico still isn’t out. he wants to talk to someone about it, probably Hazel or Reyna (Nico has come out to her by this point) or Jason, but Leo never outed Nico so Nico knows it’s not fair to tell anyone that Leo kissed him because clearly Leo needs to work through some things.

meanwhile Leo is having a sexuality crisis. I’m undecided about whether he talks to Jason or Piper about it but I’m leaning towards no because Leo never really opens up to anyone. that’s just not something he does.

Leo figures out his feelings and realizes he’s attracted to Nico. he’s in agony over it. he doesn’t like the little dweeb, he just wants to shut him up by making out with him. and he thinks he’s hot. that’s all. he doesn’t like him.

Leo spends months freaking out over this in complete silence. he avoids Nico like the plague. and eventually he can’t contain it any longer and he decides he simply must have Nico, so he resolves to do a Mr-Darcy’s-first-proposal-style confession where he tells Nico “despite my better judgement I think you’re hot. date me.”

but just when he’s made up his mind, Nico comes out to their friend group and announces that he’s now dating Will Solace, the super hot track star with a dazzling smile and a charming accent. turns out that while Leo has been in crisis, Will has been wooing Nico. Nico, who is attracted to Will but not yet in love with him, has agreed to date him.

Leo has never had a problem with Will Solace before. now he hates him.

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Will Solace is perfect in every way and Leo hates him for it. he wants to punch him in his dumb perfect teeth. he hates that Will is so tall, and athletic, and smart, and popular, and everything Leo wishes he could be. and he hates how smitten Nico seems with him.

(Nico isn’t actually smitten. he just thinks Will is ok.)

Will Solace is not just a genius popular track star who’s probably going to end up curing childhood cancer. he’s also a rich party boy. his mom goes out of town and Will throws a party in her absence. somehow he manages to acquire alcohol. Nico and his friend group (which includes Leo even though Leo and Nico hate each other) are invited to this party.

Leo drinks too much and tells Nico he needs to talk to him. Nico thinks “ah this must be about his sexuality crisis, and he is coming to me, the only gay guy he knows, because he needs help.” so he’s annoyed but agrees to go to a quiet room alone with Leo.

Leo goes off on him, calling Nico an idiot for dating Will, saying they deserve each other because they’re both such pieces of shit, just trash talking both Nico and Will. Nico is like ok this is just uncalled for and he defends Will, which pisses Leo off more. and they have another screaming match and maybe Leo is drunk and maybe Nico is a bit tipsy because Leo grabs Nico and tells him “stop me.” and Nico doesn’t. and Leo kisses him and Nico kisses back until he remembers he’s dating Will and pushes Leo away and demands to know what is wrong with him. Leo deflects, they fight, and Leo storms away and gets Jason (the DD) to drive him home.

Nico stays the night at Will’s. he goes to Will the morning after the party and starts crying as he confesses he kissed someone else. and Will, being Will, is firstly concerned about Nico, like was this consensual, are you ok? and Nico says he doesn’t think he was the one who started it, and he wouldn’t have done it if he’d been completely sober, but admits that he was very much a willing participant. Will asks who it was but Nico won’t tell him because it’s not fair to out Leo, and Will understands. and Will is ok with forgiving Nico and moving forward, because Nico had been drinking and it wasn’t like he was the one who started it, and he kind of leaves it up to Nico what happens. does Nico want to stay together? and Nico says. “Will I like you. I really do. but I don’t think I like you like that.” so Will says ok and seems really upset but understanding, and he’s mostly upset that Nico said yes to dating him in the first place if he wasn’t that into it. he asks if Nico likes the guy he kissed at the party. and Nico says “no, I don’t think so. I don’t think I like anyone right now.”

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Things are tense at school after the party, and not just between Nico and Leo and Will. Piper and Jason have also broken up. Neither of them will say anything about it other than they ended things on good terms and they just want to be friends now, but it’s clear that things are a little awkward.

Leo feels bad about what happened, and worse when he finds out Nico and Will broke up. (although he feels a bit of joy about it too). He tries to apologize to Nico because he knows that he seriously fucked up and Nico is like “stay away from me, I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me because of you.” and Leo is like “you think he was the best thing that ever happened to you?” and Nico hesitates but says yes.

prom happens! Frank and Hazel are the only two in the group who have a date, so the rest of them just go as a big friend group. Frank and Hazel go dancing. Jason’s older sister (who I forgot about until this moment) asks Reyna to dance. Jason and Piper dance, which fuels rumors about them getting back together (they won’t). This leaves Leo and Nico alone at their table.

Leo wants to talk. Nico is like fine, let’s talk. And they go out to an empty stairwell. Leo tries to apologize again, and Nico is just like “what do you want from me? you just want some conveniently placed gay guy to help you work out your sexuality? is that what this is about?” and Leo tries to refute that but he can’t and then oops. they’re making out again.

the door to the stairwell opens and who comes in but Will Solace and his new flame, the super mega hot cheerleader Drew Tanaka, who were looking for a private place to make out. It’s super awkward. Will and Drew leave. Nico runs after them and leaves Leo behind. Nico tells Will, “please don’t tell anyone.” And Will is like “I would never do that. Drew wouldn’t either, by the way, but I’ll talk to her about it and make sure she doesn’t say anything.” and Nico thanks him. Will asks if that’s who Nico kissed at the party. Nico says yes. Will admits he thought it might have been Jason, since Jason and Piper broke up right after that too. (not sure how Nico responds to that.)

Frank and Hazel leave together. Reyna leaves with Thalia. Jason drives himself, Piper, Leo, and Nico home. Piper gets dropped off, then Nico. Leo gets out of the car at Nico’s house. Nico seems surprised by this but doesn’t question it and lets Leo walk him to the door. They stand there for a second and Nico says, “Will won’t tell anyone.” hearing Will’s name kinda irritates Leo but he just says “what?” and Nico says “he won’t tell anyone what he saw. neither will Drew.” and Leo wasn’t even thinking about that but he feels less relieved than expected. he starts to try to apologize again and to maybe admit that he’s starting to have serious feelings for Nico but Nico interrupts him to point out that they’ve done this making out thing three times now and maybe they should just. keep doing it. and Leo is like omg omg omg he’s asking me out?? but Nico keeps talking and it’s made clear that he just means they should make out sometimes. Leo is disappointed. maybe even heartbroken. but he agrees, because he thinks that’s the best he’ll get from Nico.

Nico goes inside. Leo gets back in the car. Jason says, “you gonna tell me what that was about?” and Leo thinks for a second, then says, “I think I’m gay.”

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Jason is quiet for a second and then he’s like “oh. okay yeah. cool. congrats. are you and Nico dating?” and poor Leo sinks into the passenger’s seat and miserably tells him no. Jason drives Leo home (I think he might live in a foster home? not sure.) outside Leo’s house, they chat for a bit. Jason tells Leo that he and Piper broke up for a couple of reasons, but one of them is Jason realized he’s ace. he says, “I know it’s not the same thing, but I get it. at least a little bit.” Leo tells him that’s cool, and he’s happy for him, and asks how Piper took it, etc. Jason says he and Piper both wanted to break up and he was trying to figure out how to do it when she beat him to it, and that Piper was great about it and he encourages Leo to talk to her about his sexuality, if he wants.

then Jason says, “so what’s the deal with Nico?” so Leo tells him everything that’s happened, and how he thinks he has serious feelings for Nico but Nico doesn’t seem to see that and doesn’t seem to feel the same way. and firstly Jason’s like “ok what happened at Will’s party was not okay” and Leo is like I knowwwww. and Jason thinks for a while and says “do you want me to find out how Nico feels about you? I can talk to him.” but Leo is like “no, I think I already know. I think I’ve already ruined everything.” and Jason says “you shouldn’t keep doing this with Nico. you’re only going to get more hurt.” Leo says, “I know.” Jason says, “you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?” and Leo nods.

meanwhile Hazel is gushing about what a great night she had with Frank and Nico is lying facedown in bed thinking about what a huge mistake he just made.

anyway Nico invites Leo over after school a few days later and he sets up some ground rules: Leo has to stop being an asshole and start being nicer to him. Nico’s sister can’t find out. if Nico finds a boyfriend again, Leo has to back off. Leo agrees to all these rules. Leo tries again to apologize for what happened at the party but Nico just says “I don’t want to talk about that” and kisses Leo to shut him up. and Leo can’t argue with that.

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Leo takes the “be nice” rule very seriously. He acts like he’s walking on eggshells around Nico. he gets tongue tied around him because now that he’s not being mean he realizes he doesn’t know how else to talk to Nico. he does boyfriend-y things for Nico like holding doors open for him and offering to carry his things and at first Nico is like. this is weird. but eventually he tells Leo to knock it off because people are going to start thinking something’s up. and Leo might say “so what?” and Nico says “so people are going to think you’re gay.” and Leo says “I am gay.” and Nico’s thinking oh ok wow ig he’s worked through his issues, but what he says is “you are?” and Leo says “dude we made out under the bleachers this morning YES I’m gay.” and Nico doesn’t really know how to respond to that.

so Leo keeps doing things for Nico until Nico tells him off again and says “people are going to think we’re dating.” and Leo is like “so what?” and Nico says “so I don’t want people to think I’d date someone like you!” which really hurts to hear. and Nico realizes what an asshole thing that was to say as soon as he’s said it and sees how hurt Leo looks. and he apologizes and Leo says it’s ok, but it’s clear that he’s still hurt.

anyway later Nico is lying in bed alone after Leo left his house and he’s thinking about that and then suddenly. it clicks. Leo has a crush on him. he’s not just confused anymore, and it’s not only attraction. Leo likes him. and Nico bolts upright in bed like oh. oh FUCK.

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Nico needs to call off the thing with Leo. instead he avoids Leo. he has no idea how to deal with Leo’s feelings for him and he’s scared. he doesn’t know who to talk to about this because the only people who know about him and Leo (that he knows of) are his ex and his ex’s new gf, and he obviously can’t go to either of them. he can’t out Leo by talking to Reyna or any of his other friends because that would be wrong.

meanwhile Leo is crashing out on Jason and Thalia’s couch because the guy he’s crushing on hasn’t kissed him in a week and will barely look at him. (I think Thalia is aware by this point that Leo and Nico have a thing because Leo probably goes over to their apartment and whines about it all the time). Jason is finally like dude. I told you that you were going to get hurt. you need to move on. and Leo knows that but he can’t.

let’s say it’s summer break now and Nico finally texts Leo to meet him at a coffee shop or something. Leo has a feeling Nico is going to dump him, but goes anyway. they sit down together and Nico tells him he wants to stop. Leo nods, and then asks if he did something. Nico says no. he just wants to stop. Leo says “well. it was fun while it lasted,” and smiles at Nico like it’s not a big deal, but Nico can see right through it.

Leo gets serious for a second and tells Nico he’s really sorry about what happened at Will’s party, and sorry he messed things up for Nico and Will. Nico admits that he was the one who ended things with Will, not the other way around. Leo asks why. Nico shrugs and says, “I don’t think I ever really liked him like that.” Leo asks why he dated him and Nico says “I think I just liked being liked. I know, it’s selfish, huh?” and Leo says, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be liked. you deserve to be liked.” Nico is surprised that Leo actually gave him a heartfelt answer. he says thank you. Leo adds that Nico also deserves to be with someone he likes back. he says he hopes Nico finds that some day.

Nico has said everything he came to say but now he doesn’t want to leave. somehow it comes up in conversation and Nico asks Leo how his mom died, and then says “shit, I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that.” but Leo says it’s okay, and says that she died in a fire when he was in middle school, after he and Nico moved schools and stopped talking. Leo asks about Bianca, and Nico says it was a car accident. Nico wants to ask about foster care and if Leo is safe and happy, but he doesn’t know how.

as they’re leaving, Nico suddenly feels really, really sad that things are ending with Leo. he stops and says, “look, maybe we could keep going.” but Leo says, “you should be with someone you like.” and Nico says “okay, then if I find someone I like, we’ll stop. that was our rule anyway.” Leo knows he should say no but he can’t.

they go to Nico’s house and Nico sneaks Leo into his bedroom and they make out. and it feels good. Nico feels cared for. it’s like how he felt when he was with Will, but even nicer. that afternoon, they just kinda lay in silence together, and Leo takes Nico’s hand and Nico realizes it doesn’t bother him, so he lets Leo hold it.

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“You’re kind of an asshole,” Leo tells Nico one day. Nico wants to ask why Leo is so in love with him then, but he doesn’t. summer break is over and they’re out to lunch at some fast food joint on the weekend. “so are you,” Nico says instead. Leo takes offense. “No I’m not. I’ve been following your ‘be nice’ rule for months now.” and Nico realizes that yeah, Leo has been, and being around Leo has become almost pleasant. almost. Nico realizes he’s the one being the jerk now.

before he can think of a way to respond, Jason and Thalia walk into the restaurant and Leo is happy to see them so he waves them over. they greet each other and Jason and Thalia go to order. Nico is horrified. when they leave he’s like “oh fuck what do we do.” Leo’s like “what?” and Nico says “they’re going to wonder why we’re together.” Leo stares at Nico for a second. Then he’s like “Jason has known about this since prom.” Nico asks if anyone else knows, and Leo shrugs and says Piper’s probably figured it out but he hasn’t told her about it yet. “I’ve told her that I’m gay, though,” Leo adds. while Nico is processing that, the Graces come back and join them at the table. Jason sits next to Leo and kinda unintentionally stares Nico down the whole meal. Nico wants to disappear. he’s a bit mad that Leo didn’t mention that Jason knows. (he’s not so worried about Thalia since she’s graduated at this point so it’s not like she’s going to gossip about Nico and Leo being out to lunch together on a Saturday.) Nico feels like Jason is judging him. (he’s right).

later Nico is thinking about how it’s kind of unfair that Leo can tell whoever he wants about them being enemies with benefits (maybe even friends with benefits, although Nico shudders to think that he and Leo might be friends) because Nico is out, but since Leo is still mostly closeted, Nico can’t tell anyone about it. maybe he expresses this to Leo while he’s driving Leo home (I think Leo probably doesn’t have a car, which is unfortunate because Leo wants to be a mechanic like his mom) and Leo says “you do realize you’re one who’s got issues with people knowing about us, right?” and Nico’s like “but you’re not out!” and Leo just kinda shrugs and says, “I’ve kind of stopped caring about that. I mean, I’m not announcing it to the world, but I’m not hiding it either.” Nico thinks for a second. he asks if that means he has permission to tell Reyna. Leo says sure. Nico pulls up to Leo’s house and drops him off, and Leo gives Nico a casual goodbye kiss that makes Nico’s head spin. Leo has been doing that lately–causal kisses as opposed to making out for fun. Nico thinks he should tell Leo to cut it out, but he can’t find a reason why Leo shouldn’t do it because it’s not like Nico minds. it’s just annoying. yeah. that’s it. annoying.

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it’s Nico and Leo and co’s senior year at this point btw. this is a four-year slowburn. Leo is trying to plan out what to do once he graduates. he’s applying to colleges and trying to get as many scholarships as he can because if he doesn’t get a significant amount of scholarship money, he won’t be able to afford college. Nico isn’t so worried about it because he has daddy’s credit card. Leo spends a lot of time at Nico’s house working on applications because it’s quieter there than at the foster home. he could go to Jason and Thalia’s place, but being with Nico has the added benefit of being able to make out with someone when he’s bored or stressed. both Nico and Leo are kind of trying to keep track of the schools that the other is applying to because Leo has a gigantic crush and wants to be around Nico, and Nico thinks “having someone to make out with is convenient” and that’s definitely the only reason he’d want to go to the same college as Leo or at least a college in the same city.

I’m not sure when it happens but Hazel has probably figured out about Leo and Nico by this point. she probably started getting suspicious right away and then just kind of politely ignored it until she accidentally walked in on the two of them sucking face. (not sure what Hades makes of all this. he’s probably not home often enough to figure it out. I think he probably knows Nico is gay and doesn’t care. I don’t mean that in a “I don’t care what your sexuality is, I love you no matter what” kind of way, though. I mean it like “why are you bothering me with this information. you’re wasting my time.”) Nico was mortified when Hazel walked in on him and Leo but Hazel probably just politely covered her eyes and asked what they wanted for dinner or something. Nico tried to talk to her about it afterward but Hazel was like “I figured this out months ago, I’m not an idiot.”

anyway. Leo has a part time job and he’s probably on some kind of engineering team at school and he’s taking a million AP classes so he’s really busy and Nico feels neglected because usually if Nico shows interest in Leo, Leo will drop everything for him, but right now, with college apps and stuff, Leo brushes him off more, and Nico is scared that Leo doesn’t like him anymore. wait. not scared. haha. it’s not like he wants Leo to like him. it’s just. convenient. right?

at some point Nico tells Reyna about his thing with Leo and Reyna is like “you know I did think it was interesting that you two started spending so much time together, ig it makes sense that you’re dating.” and Nico is like “woah woah woah. we aren’t dating.” and Reyna just gives him a look and Nico realizes “oh shit. I’m dating Leo.”

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apparently lots of states cover the cost of in-state tuition for kids in foster care (thank you @serosedflamio) so I’m retconning Leo being worried about affording college, however he is still stressed about applying to schools. also Nico has decided to only look at in-state colleges. hmm I wonder why.

anyway Nico has figured out that his fwb situationship with Leo really really looks like dating, and in fact, might actually be dating. Nico doesn’t know what to do. he can’t date Leo. Leo’s annoying and Nico doesn’t like him. “so dump him,” Reyna suggests, knowing fully well that Nico won’t want to do that. when Nico refuses, Reyna asks why not. Nico is stumped, but eventually says “I just don’t want to.” Reyna’s like “ok whatever.”

meanwhile Leo has noticed Nico acting different and paying more attention to him and he wonders if maybe Nico likes him a little bit? so Leo asks Nico if he wants to go to the homecoming football game with him and Piper to support Jason. Nico says yes but he’s freaking out because Piper is bringing her gf and does that mean Leo asked him as a date? is this a date???? and Leo honestly isn’t sure either but he just wants to spend time with Nico. (Will and Drew are voted homecoming king and queen btw. Jason is on the court.) after the game, Piper and Shel leave together and Leo and Nico wait for Jason to come out of the locker room. while waiting, Leo asks Nico to go to the homecoming dance with him. (it’s Friday night and the dance is the next evening.) Nico says, “we are going together” because they were going to go in the same friend group already, but Leo says, “no, I mean together-together. as my date.” Nico is in shock and doesn’t know what to say, and before he can think of an answer, Jason comes out of the locker room ready for Nico to drive them home. Nico drops off Leo first, then Jason, so he’s not alone with Leo again to give him an answer before homecoming the next day.

Leo’s pretty sure Nico’s hesitation meant he was going to say no, so he doesn’t bring it up again at the dance or ask Nico to dance with him. Nico still isn’t sure how he would’ve answered but he spends the whole night anticipating that Leo will ask him to dance, but Leo never does. he realizes he’s disappointed. and that leads to him realizing that he would’ve said yes if Jason hadn’t interrupted them the night before. and that leads to Nico realizing that he likes Leo.

Jason is the driver again, like after prom, but he drops off Leo first this time. and now Nico’s the one who gets out of the car to walk Leo to the door. Nico tries to bring up Leo asking him out, but Leo brushes it off and makes a joke about it, which makes Nico think that Leo regrets asking or didn’t mean it or something. he’s like “oh. ok.” and says goodnight.

when he turns back to the car Jason and Reyna are pressed against the window watching them like 👀

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(btw Jason and Reyna spend a lot of time together because Reyna is dating Thalia so she’s always over at their house. and they’re too wrapped up in their own lives to really care that much about their friends’ drama but Leo and Nico have come up in conversation and they have compared notes.)

Nico spends all Sunday agonizing over how to face Leo at school on Monday. but Monday comes and Leo isn’t there. Nico texts him to ask where he is and Leo says he’s sick. so after school Nico drives to Leo’s house and visits him. and Leo is in bed with a cold or the flu or a stomach bug or something. Nico sits on the edge of the bed. he realizes he has no idea what to say. Leo’s like “aw were you worried about me?” and Nico says “no! …maybe.” Leo tells him that’s cute. Nico rolls his eyes and leans over to shut Leo up with a kiss but Leo stops him. “you’ll get sick,” Leo says. so Nico says “I don’t care.” Leo says “Jake will be back soon” (he shares a room with Jake Mason) and Nico says “I’ll make it fast then.” and Leo runs out of reasons why they shouldn’t so he lets Nico kiss him.

Nico gets sick. he spends the next couple of days in bed sleeping and texting Leo. they text like lovers separated by a plague who don’t know if they’ll live to see each other again.

when they both go back to school, Nico is so excited and so nervous to see Leo and it’s weird. Nico picks Leo up and they carpool to school together and they barely make it to class on time because Nico can’t stop kissing Leo.

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their high school allows two excused absences for college visits. since Nico and Leo are (coincidentally!) applying to a lot of the same schools or schools in the same city, they decide to go on a road trip together to visit a few campuses. They leave on a Thursday afternoon and spend the night in a hotel room which (shockingly) has two beds. it’s not a very fancy hotel but Leo is really excited because he’s not in hotels often. the last time was for a school trip (some kind of science competition). Nico finds Leo’s excitement endearing. they joke and laugh and have a pillow fight until the people in the room below them bang on the ceiling to get them to shut up, then they go to bed.

the next day they have a tour of the campus and get to speak to college advisors. Nico feels kind of jealous that Leo has such a clear plan for what he wants to do in the future, because he doesn’t even know what he wants to major in. while on the tour, he starts to get ideas about what to study, like maybe history. he’s always liked history. Leo chats with him about his plans for the future and encourages his ideas, and says that it’s ok not to have a plan yet. lots of people their age don’t. talking to him makes Nico feel a lot better. he runs the toe of his shoe over Leo’s ankle. Leo ruins the moment by teasing him about trying to play footsie with him.

they leave that afternoon to go on a different tour in another city the next day. their hotel room, once again, has two beds. Nico realizes he wouldn’t mind sharing with Leo. they sleep in separate beds.

at one point on the tour the next day, Leo gets distracted by something and stands there staring at it for a second until Nico takes his hand and pulls him along. then he just. doesn’t let go. after all, they don’t know anyone there. what’s the harm? who cares if someone thinks they’re dating? would it really be so bad if they were dating?

it’s the last night before they drive back home. they go back to the hotel room and order a pizza. Leo talks about how he’s lucky he has a summer birthday, because he gets to stay in a home all through his senior year. he says that he’s moving into the spare bedroom at Piper’s house after his birthday. Nico tells Leo he’s glad that Leo has everything figured out and says that their friend group won’t let anything happen to him. Nico agrees that Piper’s house is the best option since there’s a guest room, but says that if Leo ever needs another place to stay for any reason, he’s welcome at his house, too. Leo makes fun of Nico for getting sappy so Nico kisses him to make him shut up and to get back at him for ruining the moment. they end up cuddling. Nico doesn’t go back to his own bed before falling asleep.

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we’ve been focusing a lot on Nico so let’s switch to Leo for a bit.

Leo’s not doing so hot. he’s got a crush on a guy who he thinks will never like him back and he feels like he’s being used. being with Nico feels amazing, but whenever they separate, Leo feels overcome by sadness and maybe some guilt too because he feels like he’s also using Nico.

after they get back from their trip, Leo becomes more distant again. he’s been throwing himself into schoolwork to avoid his feelings for Nico and he brushes off Nico’s advances or pretends like he doesn’t notice/understand them. but Nico keeps making advances, maybe actually flirting with him, and even tries to have sappy heart-to-heart conversations with him, and it’s bad for Leo’s wellbeing. he’s getting his hopes up and he knows he’s going to get his heart broken. his feelings for Nico are getting too serious. and he tries to put some distance between the two of them, but it seems like the more he tries, the tighter Nico holds on.

so Leo resolves to end things with Nico once and for all. he tells Jason this, and Jason doesn’t react the way Leo expected. instead of encouraging him, Jason seems hesitant and asks if Leo is sure that’s what he wants. Leo says yes, so Jason doesn’t fight him.

Leo asks Nico to meet him after school. Nico happily does so, having no idea that Leo is about to dump him. they meet on the bleachers to watch Jason and the football team practice, and Leo tells Nico, “I think we should stop.” Nico feels like his ears are ringing. he doesn’t understand. he thought Leo liked him. he was starting to like Leo. why would they stop? did Leo not like him anymore? maybe he didn’t like him to begin with?

so Nico is quiet for a second as all this runs through his head, and then he finally says, “can I do anything to change your mind?” and Leo says no. “anyway, we’re about to graduate, and it’s not like we can keep this going forever,” he says. “besides, it’s not like you’re that into it.” half of him is hoping that Nico will refute that. Nico doesn’t. he just says, “right. ok.” he asks if Leo needs a ride home. Leo says no. Nico gets up to leave, and as soon as he gets to his car and shuts the door, he starts crying.

gatesofember

Nico spends a few days being sad and lonely. he goes crying to Reyna about it and says that he’s really confused because he thought Leo liked him. Reyna says, “I thought you didn’t like Leo,” and Nico, blubbering through his tears, says, “obviously I do!” and Reyna is encouraging but kind of quiet while comforting Nico, and admits that she doesn’t get it, either.

Reyna and Jason compare notes on the situation again and come to the conclusion that their friends are idiots who are in love with each other and agree that Nico was kind of leading Leo on but Leo kind of led Nico on too and neither of them have exactly been a saint in their relationship. neither Reyna nor Jason are sure what to do in this situation. they agree that what happens is up to Leo and Nico, not them, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t subtly encourage them to get back together.

meanwhile, Nico has spent time being sad. next, he gets angry. how dare Leo do this to him? how could Leo get his hopes up just to dash them? how could Leo make Nico fall in love with him just to break up with him?

wait. love? haha. no, not love. just like. Nico’s not in lo— ok fine Nico’s totally in love with him.

one day Nico is raging about this to Reyna, who’s kind of getting tired of hearing about Leo all the damn time but is doing her best to be a good friend, and Reyna finally says, “did you tell Leo that you liked him?” and Nico kinda stops and looks at her and realizes that no, he never did, because he hadn’t wanted Leo to find out. “so it was ok for you to know how he felt about you, but not for him to know how you felt?” Reyna asks. and finally Nico realizes well duh that would hurt Leo. duh Leo broke up with him. so Nico says, “ok I just have to tell him I like him and then he’ll come back to me” and Reyna’s like “I mean idk, he might not be interested anymore.” which is not the answer Nico was looking for, so he says “ok fine. I’ll make him fall back in love with me.”

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so Nico has resolved to win Leo back by romancing his socks off. great.

he has no idea how to do that.

how do you get someone to fall in love with you? how did Leo start liking him? what about Will? Nico’s not sure. he googles “how to get a guy to like you.” and then “how to get a guy to like you gay.” the results he gets are not super helpful. finally he decides that if he wants Leo to fall in love with him, they need to be friends first. were they friends? they spent a lot of time together. they talked about things. that made them friends, right?

at least, they used to. since Leo dumped him, he’s been kind of avoiding Nico.

finally Nico sucks up his pride and goes to Jason’s morning football practice, where he knows he’ll find Leo (Jason almost always drives Leo to school, which means Leo gets to school early, which means he hangs out on the bleachers and does homework until school starts.) (at least, that was what he did before he and Nico started their fling. after that, he got to school early so he and Nico could make out under the bleachers until school started.) regardless, Nico knows were to find Leo alone, so he goes to Jason’s morning football practice and finds Leo doing his AP calculus homework. Nico goes up to him and says hi. Leo looks up, and suddenly goes stiff like he’s uncomfortable. he says hi back. Nico says, “I need to talk to you.” Leo says ok. and Nico spent all night plotting what to say and writing his speech out. he says, “I don’t like not being friends.” “we are friends,” Leo says, but Nico says, “Leo, you won’t even look at me anymore.” “look, I have to do calculus,” Leo tries to tell Nico. Nico says, “the faster we figure out this problem, the faster you can get back to being a fucking nerd.” Leo sighs and rubs his forehead like he has a headache. Nico realizes that it wasn’t very nice of him to say that, so he says, “sorry. you’re not a nerd. well, you kind of are, but that’s not...I mean...I don’t know.” Leo is surprised by the apology. Nico never apologizes. he tells Nico it’s fine. Nico says it’s not: “I’m trying to be nice to you and I’m not doing a very good job of it.” Leo says, “you’re a loser. there, now we’ve both insulted each other. we’re even.” Nico kind of smiles. Leo kind of smiles back. Nico says, “you were right when you called me an asshole. and I’m sorry. I miss you. and I get that you’re not interested in the thing we had going on anymore, but can’t we stay friends?” “ok,” says Leo. but he doesn’t really mean it, and he doesn’t really think Nico means it, either.

gatesofember

Nico and Leo are friends again. this is a step in the right direction to romancing Leo Valdez. gradually, they start hanging out again. for a bit, they just hang out in the morning while Jason is at practice, but then Leo goes over to Nico’s house after school to study and do homework or finish up his applications . when football season ends, Jason gladly starts sleeping in, so Nico starts picking Leo up to go to school early and hang out before class starts.

Leo is over at Nico’s house when he submits his application to the school he really wants to go to (might be UT, I think I’m placing this au somewhere in TX). Nico celebrates with Leo and tells him he’s sure he’ll get in, and then Nico gets swept up in the moment and leans forward and kisses Leo. Leo goes stiff. he relaxes for a second, then goes stiff again and pushes Nico away. he says, “I told you I didn’t want to do this anymore.” Nico wants to argue. he wants to fight until Leo backs down. he wants to scream and cry until Leo gives him what he wants. but instead, he swallows, averts his eyes, and says, “sorry.” Leo starts to gather his things and says he needs to go home, but Nico asks him to stay: “Leo, please, I’m sorry. I’ll drive you home right now if you want, but please stay a little longer. please.” and Leo is weak to Nico so he says ok, he’ll stay a little longer.

gatesofember

after the kiss, Leo gets awkward again. he doesn’t avoid Nico, and they still hang out, but he seems uneasy. Nico thinks that Leo’s rejection means he’s really not interested in him anymore, so he decides to back off a bit, but he hasn’t given up hope completely.

meanwhile Leo keeps replaying the kiss over and over in his head, trying to figure out why Nico did that and scolding himself every time he starts getting hopeful that it means Nico likes him back. he’s given up on Nico. he needs to get over this crush and stick to his guns.

it’s winter break. Nico hasn’t seen Leo in a few days and he misses him. Piper is throwing a Christmas party at her dad’s house. Nico and Leo and co all attend. Leo makes the best hot chocolate, so he’s put on hot chocolate duty and Nico, who’s desperate to spend time with his crush, appoints himself Leo’s sous chef. he entertains Leo while Leo makes the hot chocolate and gets him whatever he needs to help him. and then, as they start bringing the mugs out of the kitchen, Nico catches Leo looking at the ceiling, so he glances up and wow whatdya know, there’s mistletoe up there! this is perfect. Nico has an excuse to kiss Leo again and sweep him off his feet. Nico looks at Leo.

Leo looks terrified.

Nico realizes, oh shit, he really does not want to kiss me. and that hurts, but he respects it, so he just moves out from underneath the mistletoe to bring the mugs out to their friends.

Leo, meanwhile, feels a mixture of relief and disappointment, and spends the rest of the party stealing glances at Nico and trying to figure him out.

gatesofember

Nico recognizes that he can’t kiss Leo into liking him again. so what can he do? he thinks to himself: ok, what did Leo do when he was flirting with me? he started carrying my things and opening doors for me. I’ll do that, too. so he starts trying to woo Leo by being polite and gentlemanly and nice to him.

Leo notices. he’s not an idiot—Leo is a genius and although his social skills aren’t the best, he still knows that something is up and he is able to at least consider that this means Nico likes him. that doesn’t mean he believes Nico likes him. Leo is so filled with self hatred and self doubt that he can’t imagine anyone liking him. at least, not the way he likes Nico.

but Leo knows that the fact is, Nico is clearly interested. and if Nico can’t like him, this can only mean that Nico’s trying to kiss him again. so the more Nico tries wooing Leo, the less Leo trusts him.

but also, he keeps hoping that Nico will kiss him. so when they sit together in the hallways in the morning before school starts, Nico helping Leo with his English homework and Leo helping Nico with his Spanish, Leo yearns. they’re sitting inside because it’s too cold to hang out outside, but Leo misses when it was fall and they’d hang out on the bleachers during morning football practice and they’d have to sit close together to conserve warmth. he doesn’t have a reason to sit so close to Nico now.

Nico is yearning for the same thing. when he and Leo still had their thing going on, he would reach out to touch Leo more often. a friendly swat to the arm when Leo teased him, or a touch when Leo made him laugh. Nico feels self-conscious doing that now.

“Did you know you were my first kiss?” Nico asks one day after school while he’s driving Leo home. Leo’s heart is pounding. they usually skirt around this topic. why is Nico bringing it up now? “I wasn’t sure, but I realized I might’ve been,” Leo answers. Then he adds, “sorry it...you know. it kinda sucked.” Nico says, “it didn’t suck. I mean, I was a bit upset afterward because I’d always imagined I’d be dating the person I had my first kiss with, but I don’t regret it. I’m glad it was with you.” and Leo’s mouth feels dry. all he manages to say is, “ok.” “ok?” Nico asks. Leo says, “yeah. I, um. I don’t regret it either.” they’ve reached Leo’s house by now but Leo hasn’t gotten out of the car yet. part of him wants to get out and escape. part of him needs to stay. Nico asks, “do you miss it?” Leo says, “parts of it.” Nico says, “but not enough to do it again?” and Leo says, “not enough for that.” Nico nods. He smiles at Leo. “see you in the morning,” he says, and Leo takes that as his cue to get out of the car.

he wants so, so badly for Nico to kiss him goodbye before he leaves.

gatesofember

valentine’s day is coming up, which is a problem. Nico doesn’t know whether he should do something for Leo or not. this would be so much easier if they were in elementary school again and so Nico could get treats for all his friends like he did when he and Leo were kids.

wait. he can.

Nico decides he will make cupcakes or brownies or chocolate covered strawberries. the problem is he sucks at baking. and cooking. really anything to do with food. Hazel, while not the best cook, isn’t terrible at it, so he begs her for help. she was planning on just buying all of her friends chocolates, so she says, “why can’t you just buy something?” and Nico says “I need to make it.” Hazel asks why. Nico blushes so Hazel is like “ooooooh! does someone have a crush?” Nico blushes harder and tells her to shut up, but Hazel continues teasing him. and eventually Nico says that he is trying to convince Leo to date him and Hazel is like “wait. haven’t you guys been dating since around prom last year?” and Nico has to tell her no, not technically. and Hazel is like “I walked in on you two making out with your shirts off that one time.” so Nico says “don’t remind me.” anyway Nico explains the situation to her (he’s embarrassed so he’s kind of vague, but tells her that they were just kissing and then Leo said he didn’t want to anymore so now Nico is trying to win him back but wants to actually date this time). and Hazel is kind of reluctant to help Nico because Leo is her friend too and she expresses concern that he’s making Leo uncomfortable. and Nico’s like “oh shit. what if you’re right?” but Hazel says “I mean if you’re making something for all your friends there’s no harm.”

so the day before valentine’s, Nico and Hazel make chocolate covered strawberries together and Nico packs them into individually wrapped baggies or something to take to school. he picks Leo up in the morning and they go to school together, and Nico presents him with his chocolate strawberries. Leo is very flattered and he thinks, omg, Nico either really wants to kiss me or he’s actually honestly hitting on me because he likes me. Leo is plotting out how he can get Nico something in return or maybe at least say something to indicate that Nico’s gesture has been understood and appreciated, but then Reyna shows up and Nico gives her some strawberries too. Leo gets really disappointed and he thinks, oh. okay. this is just a friend thing.

gatesofember

Leo hears back from UT before Nico does and learns that he’s been accepted and is getting a full ride. he responds immediately to say he’s enrolling. Nico hears back shortly after and learns that he’s been accepted, too, and he’s getting a pretty good scholarship. Nico really wants to accept because he wants to go where Leo is going, but he’s scared of making such a huge decision based on a crush (and probably embarrassed too). but UT is a good school, probably the best or at least one of the best public schools in TX, and he’s getting a good scholarship, so it’s not like it’s a bad decision.

so one day when he’s driving Leo home, Nico tells him, “I’ve decided to go to UT.” and Leo is like, “oh, great, congratulations.” and Nico says, “yeah, I figure it’s a good school and I’m getting a decent scholarship, and I think I’ll be happy and safe in Austin.” (he’s referring to the LGBTQ-friendly nature of Austin). Leo agrees, and he admits that that’s one of the reasons why he’s going there, too. Nico hesitates for a second, then, as he stops in front of Leo’s house, he adds, “and I know it’ll be okay because you’ll be there, too.”

Leo is caught off guard. he looks at Nico, trying to decipher what he means by that. Nico blushes and averts his eyes, and it’s so goddamn cute that Leo can’t help himself. he thinks, screw it. he cups the back of Nico’s head, pulls him close, leans in, and kisses him.

at first, Nico kisses back. then he pulls back and pushes Leo away. “you don’t want to do this,” Nico says. Leo says, “obviously I do.” Nico is hesitant. he asks, “are you sure?” Leo jokingly says, “I mean, might as well have some fun if we’re going to be around each other for the next four years.” and poor Nico’s heart breaks. he thinks that this means Leo wants to be fwb again. he shakes his head and says, “I don’t think I can do that.”

meanwhile, Leo is confused. he’s thinking, wait, I thought this is what he wanted from me. I’m giving him what he wants. why is he saying no? and later, as he’s trying to focus on his AP calc homework, it finally clicks for Leo—Nico might be serious about him.

gatesofember

so Nico is in love with Leo. but…what if he’s not? what if this is in Leo’s head? more likely than not, Nico rejected Leo because he’s no longer interested. and yet, Leo can’t quite squash the hope that maybe, just maybe, Nico likes him back.

that leaves the question of what to do about it. on the upside, Leo has time. he and Nico are going to the same college.

at least, that’s what Leo thinks until monday, when Nico mentions to their friend group that he might want to leave the state instead. Leo is upset and confused and angry because it feels like he’s being left behind. why would Nico go somewhere he knows Leo can’t follow? it’s not fair that Leo is stuck in TX. but at the same point, shouldn’t he be encouraging Nico to leave the state if he wants to?

Leo stays quiet at the news that Nico has changed his mind, and meanwhile, Nico is carefully watching him, trying to decipher how Leo feels about it. Nico thinks that Leo just wants to kiss again and he’s not willing to go back to that. Nico’s partly serious about leaving the state because he thinks it’ll be good for him to get away from the guy he’s hopelessly in love with, but he’s also partly testing Leo. he wants to see Leo get upset. he wants Leo to ask him to go to UT with him. he dreams that Leo will do something to indicate that he cares and that he likes Nico back, even though Nico doesn’t really believe that it’s realistic to want that.

later, Leo and Nico are briefly alone and Leo brings it up. he says, “so, you changed your mind about UT?” and Nico says, “I’m not sure yet.” Leo asks, “did you change your mind because of me?” and Nico doesn’t answer before they have to get to class, but Leo is pretty sure the answer is yes.

he tries to catch Nico after school, but Nico leaves before he can find him, and Leo gets a ride home with Jason. when Leo gets home, he calls Nico. “you should go to UT with me,” he says. I like you I like you I like you, he thinks. Nico is quiet on the other end of the line, then says, “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” “why, because I kissed you?” Leo demands. I like you I like you I like you, he thinks. Nico says, “Leo—” but Leo interrupts, saying, “you’re a coward.” and he hangs up the phone.

and then he realizes that he only said the words I like you in his head.

gatesofember

I'm back :)

Leo wants to call Nico back immediately, but he's scared. he'd rather run to Nico's house and throw pebbles at his window, but his foster parents have a strict curfew. then again, he turns eighteen this summer, so it's not like he's going to be in their house much longer, and he can handle being grounded for a week. Leo gets Jake to cover for him and sneaks out of the house.

meanwhile, Nico stares at his phone wondering what Leo meant. does Leo know that Nico likes him, so he called him a coward for not acting on his feelings? or maybe, Leo knows how Nico feels and thinks he's a coward because he can't handle his feelings enough to be around Leo? does Leo like Nico? or does Leo just want to kiss him again? Nico almost calls Leo back, but like Leo, he's too scared. like Leo, he'd rather throw pebbles at a window and talk in person. so he gets in his car to drive to Leo's house.

halfway there, Nico almost doesn't see someone out jogging at night wearing a dark hoodie, and he thinks, "wow, what an idiot." then he sees the jogger's face and realizes, "wait, that's LEO."

Leo is jogging to Nico's house in the dark when a car passes him, stops, and turns around to follow him. Leo thinks he's about to be abducted and he remembers that what he's supposed to do is very quickly turn and run in the opposite direction because he can turn faster than the car can and that's his best chance of getting away. but when he turns, he locks eyes with the driver and realizes, "wait, that's NICO."

Nico rolls down the window and calls out, "are you trying to get hit by a car?" and Leo says, "excuse me?" and Nico says, "you're out at night wearing dark clothes. are you stupid?" Leo gets insecure, which makes him mad, so he tells him to fuck off. Nico says, "no. now get in the car." "what?" Leo asks. "I'll buy you frozen yogurt if you get in the car," Nico tells him. Leo hesitates a second longer, then gets in the car.

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