🔞robopussy sideblog🔞

also known as v3nth • a place for me to write down horny thoughts ● ask box is open transformers freaks please interact ● if you wanna create something based off my insane ramblings 1. id be honored and 2. please @ me so i can see it

[al3xolotl]

there are many disadvantages to working on the Lost Light

[valve3nthusiast]

I still miss driftrod

[valve3nthusiast]

Decepticon and Autobot propaganda definitely got weirder as the war went on and I'd personally like to believe that there's officially sanctioned patriotic pornography. for my own amusement

Somewhere out there is small porn studio barely skating past the censors by claiming their work is glorifying the superiority of Lord Megatron, when everything they shoot is cheesily scripted and horrendously acted pornos of "Megatron" spiking any and every high ranking 'con they had a vaguely similarly-shaped actor for (but like,,,, they're probably quietly funded enough to stay afloat by Tarn and his cuck kink tbh)

With a shoestring budget and audacity, they end up producing such gems as "Our Glorious Leader Foils His Traitorous Commander's Evil Plot With His Massive Fusion Cannon!" and"Loyal Officers Kneel For The Throne To Recive Our Emperor's Magnificent Throbbing Favor" and "Decepticon High Command Non-Stop Penetrating Action" just to name a few. There are many, many other works of similar... Artistic Value, that end up getting made fun of at Autobot movie nights for all eternity

Autobots of course prefer tastefully written Prime-kink erotica, except for Optimus Prime himself, who still can't find the person that gave the go ahead for propaganda division to write a series of spicy romance novellas about him. This haunts him at every officer's meeting. Someone will be presenting about troop movements or smth and he'll be staring into the middle distance wondering no, Prowl wouldn't... right?

The neutrals might not need propaganda, but of course they're still making porn so some are gettin freakay with it. Given how long they live I bet if cybertronians have copyright law itd be a fucking mess. They probably can't get away with using real names, but there are definitely some very thinly veiled stand-ins for various Autobots and Decepticons fucking in numerous offensive arrangements

Of course you can't throw a rock without hitting a vid starring a blue and red truck and a gray mechanism of indeterminable alt-mode, but that got old fast, and the neutrals started to get creative. The poor sucker that personally received a Cease and Desist from both the heads of the Autobot and Decepticon intelligence divisions went so underground that no one knows who to credit for the smash hit spy vs spy romance novel they wrote. sad

And like. neutrals making crossfaction porn isn't explicitly policed by either faction. but if someone wants to make a vid about Legally Distinct not-Skywarp getting stuck in a wall via teleporting accident and having his ports pounded by the not-Autobots, then they have to reckon with the very real chance that Skywarp the Actual Person will show up to beat the shit out of them

Idk where I was going with this. If you want to make me laugh come up with a terrible name for a terrible cybertronian porno and put it in the comments or replies or whatever the fuck it's called. peace

[tank66bklaxon]

thsi reminds me about that one abandoned fic on ao3 about both factions making progressively more sexually suggestive propaganda posters until it devolves into a dick measuring contest

[valve3nthusiast]

Wining Hearts and Minds (and Spikes) by TrebleTwenty? That fic was so fucking peak, I should reread it

[fernsnailz]

How many robots can you even sexualize ???

quite a few if you're brave enough

[peggingprowl]

Doctor: the patient needs weird fucked up robot sex to live

[valve3nthusiast]

I need to put my hands in the equivalent of a transformers cardiovascular system and start rending that shit asunder. Wires yanked everywhere and tubing torn open, leaking copius fluids that get artfully smeared over everything. Little sparkles of electricity zipping about as they flinch with every movement. Perhaps their dick is even hard about it

[archie-sunshine]

tangled mess.

[shatteredprimeadv]

idk what's happening in the 2nd one

[cuntstable]

its impregnate that man monday ladies and gentlemen.

[cuntstable]

bend him over the table tuesday btw

[cuntstable]

make him weep wednesday to those who celebrate

[cuntstable]

thrust into him thursday

[cuntstable]

and finally, happy Fuck him stupid Friday everyone. peace and love on the planet earth

[valve3nthusiast]

Mermaid marine rescue aus are kinda just a really convoluted form of an underlying petplay kink if you think about it

[lambery]

Brainstorm’s recent work accident, Preceptor is oddly pleased with the result.

[tonnopinnegialle]

The people who make transformers porn have my respect because I have tried drawing these fuckass things in normal poses and it made me wanna kill myself

[transingthoseformers]

Can you imagine if transformers had buttons for clits

[primeadv]

bonus:

idk what to say abt this LMAO

[valve3nthusiast]

My drafts are killing and biting me rn

[mychlapci]

imagine prowl and mesothulas having an odd but ultimately entirely professional relationship due to a lack of attraction from prowl's side but when he meets tarantulas again his stupid dick springs up so hard it almost shoots a hole through his panels and prowl hates that this is how he found out he's a freak.

[b1dl0]