the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!
The over-pronunciation of every word is so spot on lol

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@vampirememer
the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!
The over-pronunciation of every word is so spot on lol
Sometimes I end up watching videos about indie author drama (I don't know why) and a quarter of them are "indie author reads mean review of their book and publicly and embarrassingly crashes out, sometimes with a side order of stalking or harrassment" and I'm always like. Why are you even reading the reviews. Like what did you expect to accomplish here. If you're looking for tips on how to improve your work, that step comes BEFORE publication. Your role in this is over, those aren't for you. What can you possibly expect to gain by reading them, and if you do, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RESPOND.
Nothing that ever happens in indie author drama is ever remotely relatable to me. I always go in like "oh, these are my peers, we have the same career, I will understand this" and it's always somebody making absolutely off the wall decisions that make no fucking sense to me. My reaction to everything that happens is "why would someone do that".
"This person read their goodreads reviews, got upset about it, and faked a letter from their publisher to the reviewers chastising them for making a new author quit writing with their mean words, then wrote about it publicly on social media to try to garner support and direct hate to the reviewers" I would rather eat glass than do any single one of those things, each individual step is another stupid idea.
"This person made thirty sock puppet accounts to fake bigotry and hate against them in order to garner sympathy book purchases" there is simply no way that the sales return is worth the effort even if you don't get caught, why would you want to do this. Emptying my actual legit Tumblr askbox makes me tired. Why would anyone invent a second mean askbox.
"This writer is suing this other writer for writing a book that's too similar in a bid to establish ownership over common genre tropes" how do you have the money to be dabbling in this bullshit, let alone the time? Lawyers are expensive and you look like an idiot. People write similar books all the time, it's called writing within a genre.
"This person committed fraud and gamed the review algorithms and ended up taking thousands and thousands of dollars from potential readers before delivering AI gibberish and skipping out with the money" okay that's a supremely arsehole move but it does appear to be very lucrative, so I can logically see why selfish people keep doing this one.
forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.
Hm. Interesting. Apparently cortisol production depletes magnesium stores. And I have a lot of symptomatic overlap with magnesium deficiency. And it can apparently help migraine. And ADHD. I think I'm going to try supplementing magnesium glycinate. L-threonate sounds really interesting too as that's magnesium that can cross the blood-brain barrier and apparently is super useful for memory and shit.
this can't keep happening
I like this dress because it looks like something Ms. Frizzle would wear to the BDSM club
My friends and I were brainstorming PBS themed scene names. I would be Ms. Sizzle and they would be Bill Tye the Shibari Guy and Master Rogers.
When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M
He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”
Today I woke up at 2 AM. Instead of falling back asleep my brain decided to conjure up these images which haunted my mind palace until properly expelled
I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.
I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:
the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and
the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.
I have so many questions... How does one SUSPECT a manga character isn't wearing underwear? Like, sure, boobs are front and center amd you can see them get bigger panel by panel but how does this work for panties? Are there just that many upskirt shots?
Also how do you keep a manga about Mahjong going for 18 years, what??
Like this, mostly.
The boobs thing is arguably even funnier
I have an important update to this saga:
In chapter 299, the main character unleashes a special attack (???), and immediately after, her boobs DEFLATE BACK DOWN TO A REASONABLE SIZE
And then later in the match, she has to use another special move
And now she's completely flat-chested
In Saki, magical mahjongg power is literally stored in the boobs, which in my opinion is the best possible explanation for all this.
Adding to the dogpile of kink anons; one of the biggest motivators for me to continue my stretch routine in the face of my disability is so that my partner can continue to tie me in increasingly absurd positions. It's basically the only reason I try to keep up with it at this point.
🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
my father just looked me in the eyes and said “it’s a dog eat dog world out here and i’ve got a Milkbone up my ass” cheers man i’ve legitimately never heard that one before
I just learned that a lot of vintage perfumes and fragrances were intentionally created to blend well with the ever-present smell of cigarettes, and in specific a lot of iconic ones that are super musky and floral and civet-heavy were intended to compliment the smell of fur coats or even "refresh" that new fur coat smell, which is one of the reasons (besides just shifting preferences and trends) that a lot of them smell really, really bad to modern noses.
I bet there's some stunning genius diva out there right now who meticulously coordinates her Victoria's Secret body mists with her vape flavors.
its crazy that the old british boys school model actually existed and wasn’t invented as some sort of upper class gay guy bdsm thing
british boys boarding school is the closest an actually existing society has ever been to what i have heard of a/b/o
I think going too deep into anything should warrant a balrog. You scroll too far down on your phone when you should've gotten up an hour ago, you've spent all afternoon sleuthing to figure out why your mom's former neighbour whom you haven't seen since you were 15 and don't give a fuck about got a divorce, you've been ruminating the same situation over and over and over, and a big fuckass beast thing shows up to stop you because you have delved too deep and now you have to fight the balrog.
It's the last day of April
Wake up babe, new meta layer just dropped
Maybe I'm too young to understand, the hell is up with this post?
i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.
i keep thinking abt bump and cracking up
why.
EDIT: OH MY GOD DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS I WAS POKING FUN AT HOW COMICALLY DYSTOPIAN THIS APP DESIGN IS
there’s a used bookstore in rural western massachusetts (the montague book mill) whose motto is “books you don’t need in a place you can’t find” and i just feel like that summarizes tumblr too
posts you don’t need on a site you can’t search