Nessa

She/Her ⃟ 21 ⃟ Trans/Gray Ace NSFW sideblog, MDNI or you die Mostly HDG

[vanessa-coalescent]

Affini who senses you getting hungry before the first pang even hits your stomach, your implant flooding with class-E and class-A as she blitzes into your room, grabbing you and sticking you in a high chair and stuffing you full of the most yummy foods you’ll ever taste.

When she said you would never go hungry again, she meant it.

[orangaria]

I wanna be affini bait.

I want the vines of affini at the park to twitch when they see me walk

I want their injectors to leek on the floor at the mere sight of me.

I want my head throbbing due to the cacophony of biorhythm roaring around me.

I want all of them plotting to adopt me. Make me theirs.

I need to be the biggest seed there ever was. And act so sure of myself. And so resolute. and then...

Unable to move, pinned to the ground, forced to gaze deep in their starry eyes as they murmur sweet nothing to my mind.

Countless needles into me.

Complete surrender...

I want to be found because I'm tired of being lost.

[creaturethatmightexist]

i shouldnt be an independent. i struggle with basic tasks. i struggle with basic decisions. i struggle to look after myself. i struggle to understand my own emotions. i struggle to understand other people. i struggle to make sense of the world around me. i struggle to trust people. i struggle to accept kindness. i struggle to love myself. i need help. i need support. i know that i do need it.

the society i live in wont give it to me. i am a broken thing for them to throw away. it has been this cycle for as long as i can remember. ive seen a couple of folks say HDG as a setting is bad as the world it displays is dystopian because we never got to liberate ourselves, that our fight for our lives and our pursuit of the right to live as we wish is for nothing, trading one controlling system for another.

i understand the point i suppose. it isnt a fantasy for everyone. maybe im just a pessimist though but i struggle to believe that within my lifetime i will live in a world where i am accepted and supported in being transgender and all my disabilities are understood and given the care they need. i dont think i will ever get the chance to live in a world where i am not seen as a burdenous freak. ive been left behind too many times by people who said they would be there for me. i know i would be considered an "acceptable sacrifice" by many in order to make progress in other areas. again, maybe im pessimistic, but it is hard not to feel alone and unloved.

i just want to imagine im in a world where no matter how difficult it may be to support and care for me that i will still be loved all the way through. that i wont be given up on. a world where i wont be yelled at or hurt. a world where people love me and understand me, where they want me to be my best self, genuinely want the best for me and genuinely know what the best for me is. even when i dont know what the best for me is.

in many ways i am not capable of saving myself. i fight as hard as i can to the point where i am physically ill. ive hurt myself too much trying to do things im not capable of. it is frustrating.

i want to imagine a world where i dont have to be scared anymore. where i dont have to fight anymore, grinding myself to dust. if me dreaming of being a floret, being taken care of my plant ladies who love me more than anything makes me silly or whatever i dont know what to say. i want my beautiful dream.

[bedofvinesandroses]

I bet an Affini would take the time to ask the names of all my stuffies and get to know all of them and their backstories. Giving them hugs and kisses for me and making sure im tucked in tight with every single on of them, ask them to keep her precious floret safe while they are gone before giving me a kiss on the head and making me inhale their natural xenodrugs from their flowery appendage until I drift off to sleep all giggly and happy

[vanessa-coalescent]

Godh the things i would do for a cg to force me into a consistent sleep routine and put me in a onesie and swaddle me every night,,, and th fact that it would work because id start associating onesies and being swaddled with sleep and build a dependance on it and and waah

[vanessa-coalescent]

finni being all stern grappling me with hypno eyes full blast talking down my resistance gagging me til i cry while i whine and squirm and try to resist and once the resistance starts fading away and i start relaxing and grinding against her her tone of voice changes to being so so bright and happy and excited and its infectious snd it makes me feel good too and its so much harder to resist when shes so happy too and imhmnh hh gh hhnnh

[vanessa-coalescent]

“It’s not worth the struggle, hon, I can promise you that. I can do this all day. Maybe you were strong back there on that ship, but here? Look at you, beneath me. You’re barely even able to squirm. You’re weak. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to let yourself feel good. We both know you know that.”

Vs

“Awwh, look at you!! That wasn’t so hard, was it~? There you go, shhhshsh, just relax into it sweetie, mommy’s got you now. You’re doing such a good job!! Listen to all those pretty moans you kept bundled up inside~ It feels so good to let it all out!! Just keep letting yourself go, keep feeling good for mommy, you’re doing so well for me sweetie,”

[vanessa-coalescent]

finni being all stern grappling me with hypno eyes full blast talking down my resistance gagging me til i cry while i whine and squirm and try to resist and once the resistance starts fading away and i start relaxing and grinding against her her tone of voice changes to being so so bright and happy and excited and its infectious snd it makes me feel good too and its so much harder to resist when shes so happy too and imhmnh hh gh hhnnh

[ranun-hellebore-4th-bloom]

Fun Terran Facts!

Terrans are primarily adapted to living in grasslands, which gives them several adorable little quirks!

First and foremost: Terrans receive a boost in mood just from seeing healthy, green plants!! That’s right, just looking at a plant alters their brain chemistry in a positive way. No wonder they’re so easy to domesticate.

Second, that legendary Terran endurance comes from jogging across vast plains looking for food! If you’ve ever seen Terrans play with other Xenosophonts you’ve likely noticed that Terrans never seem to Tucker out! If your Floret ever attends a play date with one or more Terrans, expect them to be exhausted by the end of it, while the Terran will likely look totally fine, if a bit damp.

Third, they actually have a process somewhat similar to photosynthesis!!! Even though they’re Heterotophs! They actually need sunlight to fulfill all of their dietary needs ISNT THAT JUST PRECIOUS?? IT GETS BETTER: The light from an Affini’s core can actually serve the same purpose, but without risking sunburns!

I’ve never seen such a naturally perfect pet species… I can hardly wait to have one.

[vanessa-coalescent]

“Sadist healer with electric healing spells x painslut thief who gets hurt on purpose to spend time with the healer, in which neither of them know they’re into sadomasochism yet” has gotta be one of my best writing ideas yet I gotta work on this

[vanessa-coalescent]

Im imagining the thief being cared for by the healer for the first time and the healer being like “Sorry I use electric magic for this it’s gonna hurt” and the thief is just lying there feigning toughness while desperately trying not to let slip a moan from the electricity stimulating all her most sensitive nerves, the fingers gently tracing over her bruises and cuts and shocking them back into order sending surges of pleasure and pain through her body and she walks out of the clinic shellshocked like “holy shit I need to do that again”

And then she thinks she’s soooo clever for hurting herself in battle, half for the adrenaline and half to get closer to the healer, but the healer knows at least part of what’s going on and at first it’s annoying but the more she watches the thief squirm under her trying to Very Obviously stop herself from moaning the more she realizes “holy shit why do i like seeing this idiot in pain so much”

And the more they see each other the more intense the healer starts being with her magic and the harder it is for the thief to keep all those pretty noises in and she has to start getting tied up so she doesn’t squirm as much and the healer starts making the process intentionally more painful and and and hshdhhsgdhh

[vanessa-coalescent]

“Sadist healer with electric healing spells x painslut thief who gets hurt on purpose to spend time with the healer, in which neither of them know they’re into sadomasochism yet” has gotta be one of my best writing ideas yet I gotta work on this

[vanessa-coalescent]

Need to care for a hurt girl. Need to watch her be so scared and flinch away from my touch but shes cornered and injured but im slow and careful, *feeling* her fear soften into relief over hours as she lets herself be cared for, and shes still a little scared but im warm and she’s safe and its okay and also im the girl im both girls

[puellafan]

[samanthab69]

i don't feel like a girl searching for direction desperately wishing to be broken and turned into a hound for a sadistic handler, i feel like a hound that desperately yearns for retirement and soft touches and warm beds after years of grueling service

i want to be decommissioned and reprogrammed to rid myself of these awful feelings and thoughts and habits i've built up over years of torment

[samanthab69]

you know something i love?

and i don't know if i've seen it often but i'm sure it's in *loads* of fics

it's that moment, in an hdg fic, where the feral(ist), like the scared stray they are, has been biting and clawing and hissing for the past five pages and slowly, gradually has started to soften

and then, in said moment, the biting and clawing and hissing peters out as their affini comes gently to them, extending a hand or a vine or whatever it may be, and the feral slowly realizes that the fight is over

there may be a soft reprimand, a "no more of that, now" or something like that

but just

the feral realizing there's no more fight

there's no more danger

there is only love

forever

i love that moment

[samanthab69]

ugh

i need to go the fuck back to writing

i got ideas that could fry brains but mine's too fried already to even write them :/

[samanthab69]

affini that breaks you by shoving a pacifier into your mouth any time you get a little too feral

no elaborate punishments, no kinky scenes, no tying you up and having their way with you

every time you mouth off, call them a weed, say you'll never be their pet, they just pop it right in

their vines are too fast for you to see and they can get it right in there when you open your mouth to chew them out

and when you spit it out it just goes right back in

they keep doing it over and over again whenever you give them the opportunity

maybe this is what breaks you but maybe too you figure out you can just shut up whenever you decide to make a fuss

so your affini finds a solution to that as well

they find the spots that *make* you open your mouth, whether it's with moans or giggles

and *then* they pop the paci in

and over time, you start fighting less and less

you start accepting the paci and sitting there with it

and maybe eventually you realize it's actually doing What It Says On The Tin or maybe you don't, but either way you're officially pacified

eventually you're going to learn that it's no use fighting against any of this

that the only thing that happens when you try to fight your affini's love is you get put gently back in your place again

[hyenagirlpenis]

Okay, now swallow. There you go, very good. You'll start feeling it a bit right away, but it'll peak in a few hours. Of course we'll do something about it later, but first I want you to try and go about your day! I want to watch you stumble around, lightheaded and confused as the need in your core grows and grows. I want to see your eyes glaze over, your hands tremble, your breath turn ragged, as the heat builds between your thighs. Won't that be so fun? No, absolutely no touching until I say so. Now go on, try and do some of your little chores or something. I'm going to enjoy watching you fall apart. Wow, dizzy already? Cute.

[vanessa-coalescent]

Recently started prog and started getting really bad period symptoms and yea im very deeply normal about the concept of these drugs making me depressed and in pain and the cure is regularly scheduled orgasms when im feeling bad. Literally just take the ‘me’ out of this and make it someone else giving me the drugs and taking care of the symptoms and oh wait thats human domestication guide