@vanhts - Tumblr Blog

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

maple-seed

Both options convey that he's horny

cleo-fox

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

puddleorganism

Why does “falling in love” have pretty much exclusively romantic connotations it’s such a good phrase. I’ve fallen in love with every single one of my friends

puddleorganism

This was such a smart post to make because every day I get to see people declaring their love for their friends in the tags. Such a simple but sweet “restoring faith in humanity” kind of thing. We’re all just little creatures who love our buddies <3

puddleorganism

Alright so this post has gotten over 5,000 notes in a month and I think that means the consensus is that everyone loves their friends and you should tell them

json-derulo

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

json-derulo

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

json-derulo

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

json-derulo

SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!

json-derulo

headspace-hotel

i don't understand having opinions on other peoples clothes and bodies... Other humans are not created to look pleasant to you...

simplyghosting

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

yorkshirearthurdent

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

programmerhumour

Funny how that works

ferrousferrule

I am so pleased at how many notes are some version of “I don’t fear the science, I fear the corporations who control it” because that is EXACTLY the attitude you should have. GMOs can save us. Monsanto will kill us.

brunhiddensmusings

what people fear about GMO- ‘theyre gonna make frankencarrots that crave human flesh and cause diarrhea ’ what GMO actually is- ‘we made rice crop that is both drought resistant and flood resistant which will prevent about 20% of major famine disasters, also it now makes vitamin A because vitamin A deficiency in poverty stricken areas is a major killer of kids as most vitamin A rich foods dont grow there’ what people SHOULD be upset about- ‘i made all crops sterile so all farmers have to buy the seed from me in perpetuity and i will sue anyone who tries to go back to crops that produce their own seed’

mugwomps

That’s it exactly. GMO is great ciant corporations can go straight to hell

hungwy

someone invents a recipe > their child loves it > they grow up and replicate it for their own child > their child loves it > they grow up and replicate it for their own child > their child loves it > they grow up and replicate it for their own child > their child loves it > (this continues indefinitely)

lias-perpetual-crisis

The funny thing is as a parent you always think, “mine isn’t as good as Nana made it.” But your kid adores it and one day will say “it isn’t as good as my mama made it but the kids like it.”

and on it goes

moami

and so love is passed down the chain of generations, on and on, from mouth to mouth to heart to heart

timeclonemike

Love is stored in the Multi-Generational Game Of Telephone.

the-haiku-bot

Love is stored in the

Multi-Generational

Game Of Telephone.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

jordisstigander

My family has a cake recipe called “Three Generation Cake.” On the recipe card (old and faded and stained), my father explained the title, “Grandma’s cake, Mom’s frosting, and my stomach.”

Of course, I am now the fourth generation who bakes this cake. (I never met my great-grandmother. She died shortly before my dad met my mother, but he tells me stories about her. She spoke three languages and was trying to learn Portuguese when she died. She wore a fur coat over a muumuu and owned a wolfdog. When she was widowed in the Great Depression, she supported her family by playing piano in a honkey-tonk before lying her way into a radiology position. Her second husband was a British naval officer who was trained on a ship with sails and who gave her jewels by pouring them into a bowl and handing it to her at breakfast.)

My mother used it to make a wedding cake for my sister’s wedding. (My dad insists his grandma would have loved my mom, both plain-speaking women from the midwest.) My brother-in-law fell in love with this cake, to his own surprise, as he loves chocolate and the wedding cake has none. Now it is his birthday cake of choice. I have baked it for him multiple times.

One day my sister will teach her son how to make the cake from his great-great grandmother’s recipe. I will tell him stories about her, this woman I never met but who is so real to me.

The love will continue on.

mysterycat-official

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

creatingblackcharacters

"I've never heard of Megan Thee Stallion before" if you've ever said any variation of "Hot Girl Summer" then congratulations you've benefitted from an internationally popular Black female artist's creativity

creatingblackcharacters

"I thought those were just memes" yeah y'all tend to do this to a lot of things Black people create and/or do, while conveniently cutting them out in the process. You should really consider how easy it was and why that is. I do have a suggestion.

creatingblackcharacters

It might bother me a little less (but not much) if I didn't have to log on and there's Random White Guy/White Girl #262849 that we're all apparently supposed to recognize as Pivotal Pop Culture, but Black artists who've been putting in work for years and actually affecting your entertainment in ways you don't even bother to perceive are somehow "just celebrities" that you missed. You're telling me I'm supposed to know who Jerma is, but Megan Thee Stallion is miss-able? Mmmm Something's Fishy...