For the small portion of my followers who are not also inactive, you've probably noticed this blog has been just about dead recently.
This is in part due to the fact that my dear moderators have all disappeared, but mainly because of personal reasons of my own.
So, in lieu of this blog's original purpose, here's a confession (or several) of my own.
A few months after submissions started to die out (because of my own inactivity? the dying popularity of confession blogs?) and I kinda just shut the whole operation down, I actually went from being vegan to vegetarian. Big mistake on my part, but it felt like the right decision at the time.
There were a lot of factors (excuses) involved in that decision. Family pressure, my return to boarding school, my sustained obesity despite my "best" efforts and eating a vegan diet. I told myself veganism wasn't working for me, that I was just clinging to it as a last ditch effort to make me feel less bad about being fat... which is a whole bag of issues on it's own.
A few months into my return to vegetarianism, I was at my highest weight yet, so I started counting calories. I even had a brief stint with pescetarianism, where I tried fish a whopping six times, but decided it wasn't worth the environmental damage. Animal products are frankly not worth the hype, flavor-wise or nutritionally, ya know?
Since December, I've lost 44 pounds from just mild calorie restriction, which is cool, but not the best method. Over the past few months, I've slowly weaned myself back into veganism, and have been fully vegan again for over a week now. This is for health reasons, yeah (I've always loved Dr. McDougall's Starch Solution), especially after seeing my mom suffer kidney and liver damage from her high protein diet, but I'm also here for the environmental benefits. Every bowl of yogurt I had left me with the thought that every gallon of milk requires 2,000 gallons of water to produce... and that kind of guilt isn't fun to have niggling at the back of my mind.
So, yeah. I'm vegan again. And I plan to stick with it.
I'm not sure what that means for this blog, honestly. A confessions-style blog doesn't feel like what I want (I cannot emphasize the STRESS it always caused me, and likely the mods, and for that I apologize). And I'm loathe to recreate one of the cringe-y start-overs of days past...
This blog has been with me since the eighth grade, for Christ's sake. It's full of cringe for me: in the way I answered asks, the tags (GOD the amount of lameTAGS!), the various aesthetics (did I mention I've actually studied graphic design this past year?), and the personal posts I haven't had the good sense to delete. For those of you who've been there for all that, you've seen me grow up: tried to write a cookbook, moved away from home, changed schools a lot, came out of the closet.
I turned 18 a few months ago. Social media intimidates me more than socializing, these days. I'm an old man, frankly. You should see the gross brown sweater I'm wearing (I love it). So, I'll probably delete this, just because I'm less comfortable with having my personal information out there.
That said, I don't know if I'm killing this blog yet. Once I get a kitchen (soon! praise be!), I'll be cooking a lot of rad vegan recipes, and would love to share my adventures there. My food photography skills have also improved immensely.
We'll see what happens. I'm fairly certain most of my followers aren't online these days, but if y'all are... hello again! Maybe I'll actually start posting again! (Or not, I'm kinda a flaky bitch, but we'll see)
And if you happen to no longer be vegan, maybe this is a sign to try again! Or not. I try not to be pushy.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who actually read this whole little ramble. 😚