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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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JBB: An Artblog!
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Love Begins
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@velociraptorexx
happy Thursday the 20th
I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?
next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th
August 2015
October 2016
April 2017
July 2017
September 2018
December 2018
June 2019
February 2020
August 2020
You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years
HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH EVERYONE
I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”
I heard grunting outside my window the other night and there were four boys struggling to push this giant snowball (like 7 foot diameter) down the sidewalk.
I once lost my keys at a frat house.
My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully-disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out. I do not remember this part.
The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house. I stood there, right in front of the front door. This was a novel experience for me. I’d never been at a frat house in broad daylight before.
A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing.
“I lost my keys in here last night,” I called back. “I was seeing if I could go in and look for them?”
He opened the door and gestured for me to come in.
“Go wherever you want.”
I’d never seen a frat house post-party before. Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light. A few of them threw puzzled glances my way. I’m sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination.
I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller-esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed.
“Do you like dog movies?” he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket.
I told him I did.
He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for my keys.
“Sorry, I haven’t seen any keys around here.”
I didn’t doubt him.
Twenty minutes had passed. I’d searched just about every bedroom and nuclear-waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house. I’d given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommates’ forgiveness and get a new set copied.
As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly-burly frat boy approached me.
“You need help with something?”
“I lost my keys here last night and I can’t find them, I’ve looked everywhere.”
“What do they look like? I’ll put it into the group chat.” He was already pulling out his phone.
No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell. It was worth a shot. “Um, it’s just a ring of keys. The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big. Like bright pink, you can’t miss it.”
He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat.
“Alright, I sent the message out. Good luck.”
And with that, he turned and left.
A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering. It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder. One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me.
“Someone tell the girl!” One of them shouted, faceless in the mob. “Girl! Hey, GIRL!!! We found your keys, girl!!!”
They circled around me. I hadn’t felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old. One of them split himself off from the crowd.
“Are these -” he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, “your keys?”
And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Oh my god, yes.”
“EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”
The cheer went up.
Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs. I thanked them again profusely. There was a scattered round of “no problems” and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night.
THIS is boys will be boys
on a camp with teenage boys recently and as i was one of the camp leaders, it was part of my duties to help wake said boys in the morning (at 6am or a similar ungodly hour).
we (the camp leaders) found the most efficient way to do so was to blast music from a tinny little speaker one of us owned.
so before the sun itself has risen, we’re walking down a corridor with 8+ rooms filled with 6 or more boys in each, blasting the one and only Let It Go from Frozen, hoping to wake a few students, preparing for hateful commentary.
instead, what we got was the thumps and shouts of boys excitedly leaping from bunk beds, stuffing on shirts and bursting into the corridor to scream the lyrics to Let It Go.
every.single.boy.did this.
as soon as the song finished, they acted like it never happened and went back to their rooms to get dressed.
Wholesome
you can unfollow me but you can’t un-read my posts so really i’m the winner here
our paths may have crossed briefly but you still had the misfortune of knowing me
Do not for the love of god group me in with these children that think this phrase is okay. As a millennial I personally think the phrase is immature and shows that younger people today don’t like being told they are wrong or when a person older than them doesn’t listen to them. Go fight in the war or live through the depression than come back and cry to me about how older people don’t listen to you. Maybe it’s for this reason.
ok boomer
Ok boomer
Ok boomer
Ok boomer
Ok boomer
ok boomer
ok boomer
Okay boomer
this post is driving me insane. what the fuck was this person actually sending that student because they obviously edited in the word “pants” and that picture of pants. why pants. what the fuck
Sobble straight-up has depression.
We support you sobble!
my mom: comes home and puts the groceries down on the table really hard
me who knows exactly whats coming:
parent: comes home and slams the door with more force than usual
me:
my mom: stands on the porch with her arms crossed with that im very angry at you face tm on me already knowing what she is going to yell at me for:
my mom: walks with heavy steps through the house.
me:
my mom : walks loud & fast in the hallway towards my room
me :
Ya’ll, uuuh, I think, maybe, your home life might not have been so super healthy.... ?
yes thats the point.
That's exactly the point.
sorry babe i couldnt afford an engagement ring but heres a meme i printed out and taped to a rock
oh shit its november now, you know what that means?
god i can't get over how attractive george of the jungle was. like, he didn't HAVE to be that fucking hot but disney said "no. he has to be the biggest himbo in tv history"
hello????
Enough oil on that man to fry a gotdam turkey dinder
be they do crimes 😈
SLUR?????
My dad has motion detectors with built-in cameras along his driveway, and there's a frog that has figured out that if it jumps in front of the detector, the infrared light that turns on will attract bugs. So my dad frequently gets a bunch of pictures of the frog jumping around, and he's really fond of the frog now. He refers to it as his frog, enjoys getting pictures of it, and is always super, super careful in the driveway to check for the frog to make sure it's safe.
Anon. Please listen to me. I would not tell you this if it was not very important to me. PLEASE get me a picture of this frog.
anon. where is the frog, anon. we need the frog anon.
THE FROG!!!!!!!
apparently sims can die of being too silly so i wanna try and kill my reigen sim by giving him the hysterical mood
THIS IS THE END FOR YOU CLOWN
OH GOD
hmmm. hmm. i think today is a day to wrap myself in a large blanket and lie very still
can’t believe language was invented. like everyone was chill and quiet and then one day someone just started saying some shit
