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gracie abrams
Jules of Nature
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Xuebing Du
$LAYYYTER
EXPECTATIONS
Misplaced Lens Cap

ellievsbear
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Discoholic đȘ©
RMH
we're not kids anymore.
NASA
đ©” avery cochrane đ©”
todays bird
Keni
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

pixel skylines
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
The Bowery Presents
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@venom-is-free
hello my hand is gonna fall off
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
This blog is a silent, personal blog.
my life was never the same after reading âthe only trick of friendship, i think, is to find people who are better than you are. not smarter, not cooler, but kinder and more generous, and more forgiving and then appreciate them for what they can teach you and try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself no matter how bad or good it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. but the best, as wellâ
do you ever think about this quote by mary lambert because i think about it all the time
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
natalie wee, our bodies & other fine machines
sam sax, hydrophobia
Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.
If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the âcorrectâ feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.
If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.
Be the subject, not the object. It doesnât matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.
Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasnât made me want to throw things
The Body Shapes of the Worldâs Best Athletes Compared Side By Side
Health and fitness comes in all shapes and sizes. Every single one of these athletes is a certified bad-ass.
Iâve posted this before but itâs worth reblogging!
Just a reminder - if youâre drawing a team superhero book and more than one of your characters has the same build YOUâRE DOING IT ALL WRONG
Always reblog
This is excellent.
Itâs also important to note that often (though not always!) physique is associated with oneâs strength. Bodybuilders have defined muscles. Weightlifters and wrestlers have bulk. Gymnasts and boxers are small but muscular. Volleyball and basketball players are tall and lean. Runners and bikers are skinny with muscular legs. Hockey players and skiiers have powerful core muscles and thighs. Those who do field sports (discus, shot-putting, etc) have powerful chests and arms.Â
Obviously, there are exceptions, but athletes often have physiques that match their area. Not everyone is good at the same thing, nor is everyoneâs body necessarily built for the same thing. Humans come in a lot of different shapes, and thatâs a good thing, because not every shape is ideal for every activity.
I see this is back and as awesome as ever.
yaâŠâŠâŠ these two have gotten me through everything & continues to do so
US Helplines:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]
b-eat youthline (for under 25âs with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868
FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:
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(Source)
ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
I noticed there isnât one here for Ireland, so
Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123
last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:
so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.
compare.
THIS is what I wanna see in our history books.
Highlight the injustice and inequality. Stop erasing it.
Words for Skin Tone | How to Describe Skin Color
We discussed the issues describing People of Color by means of food in Part I of this guide, which brought rise to even more questions, mostly along the lines of âSo, if foodâs not an option, what can I use?â Well, I was just getting to that!
This final portion focuses on describing skin tone, with photo and passage examples provided throughout. I hope to cover everything from the use of straight-forward description to the more creatively-inclined, keeping in mind the questions weâve received on this topic.
Standard Description
Basic Colors
Pictured above: Black, Brown, Beige, White, Pink.
âShe had brown skin.â
This is a perfectly fine description that, while not providing the most detail, works well and will never become cliché.
Describing charactersâ skin as simply brown or beige works on its own, though itâs not particularly telling just from the range in brown alone.
Complex Colors
These are more rarely used words that actually âmeanâ their color. Some of these have multiple meanings, so youâll want to look into those to determine what other associations a word might have.
Pictured above: Umber, Sepia, Ochre, Russet, Terra-cotta, Gold, Tawny, Taupe, Khaki, Fawn.
Complex colors work well alone, though often pair well with a basic color in regards to narrowing down shade/tone.
For example: Golden brown, russet brown, tawny beigeâŠ
As some of these are on the ârareâ side, sliding in a definition of the word within the sentence itself may help readers who are unfamiliar with the term visualize the color without seeking a dictionary.
âHe was tall and slim, his skin a russet, reddish-brown.â
Comparisons to familiar colors or visuals are also helpful:
âHis skin was an ochre color, much like the mellow-brown light that bathed the forest.â
Modifiers
Modifiers, often adjectives, make partial changes to a word.The following words are descriptors in reference to skin tone.
Dark - Deep - Rich - Cool
Warm - Medium - Tan
Fair - Light - Pale
Rich Black, Dark brown, Warm beige, Pale pinkâŠ
If youâre looking to get more specific than âbrown,â modifiers narrow down shade further.
Keep in mind that these modifiers are not exactly colors.
As an already brown-skinned person, I get tan from a lot of sun and resultingly become a darker, deeper brown. I turn a pale, more yellow-brown in the winter.
While best used in combination with a color, I suppose words like âtanâ âfairâ and âlightâ do work alone; just note that tan is less likely to be taken for ânaturally tanâ and much more likely a tanned White person.
Calling someone âdarkâ as description on its own is offensive to some and also ambiguous. (See: Describing Skin as Dark)
Undertones
Undertones are the colors beneath the skin, seeing as skin isnât just one even color but has more subdued tones within the dominating palette.
pictured above: warm / earth undertones: yellow, golden, copper, olive, bronze, orange, orange-red, coral | cool / jewel undertones: pink, red, blue, blue-red, rose, magenta, sapphire, silver.Â
Mentioning the undertones within a characterâs skin is an even more precise way to denote skin tone.
As shown, thereâs a difference between say, brown skin with warm orange-red undertones (Kelly Rowland) and brown skin with cool, jewel undertones (Rutina Wesley).
âA dazzling smile revealed the bronze glow at her cheeks.â
âHe always looked as if heâd ran a mile, a constant tinge of pink under his tawny skin.â
Standard Description Passage
âFarahâs skin, always fawn, had burned and freckled under the summerâs sun. Even at the cusp of autumn, an uneven tan clung to her skin like burrs. So unlike the smooth, red-brown ochre of her mother, which the sun had richened to a blessing.â
-From my story âWhere Summer Endsâ featured in Strange Little Girls
Here the state of skin also gives insight on character.
Note my use of âfawnâ in regards to multiple meaning and association. While fawn is a color, itâs also a small, timid deer, which describes this very traumatized character of mine perfectly.
Though I use standard descriptions of skin tone more in my writing, at the same time Iâm no stranger to creative descriptions, and do enjoy the occasional artsy detail of a character.
Creative Description
Whether compared to night-cast rivers or dayâs first lightâŠI actually enjoy seeing Characters of Colors dressed in artful detail.
Iâve read loads of descriptions in my day of white characters and their âsmooth rose-tinged ivory skinâ, while the PoC, if there, are reduced to something from a candy bowl or a Starbucks drink, so to actually read of PoC described in lavish detail can be somewhat of a treat.
Still, be mindful when you get creative with your character descriptions. Too many frills can become purple-prose-like, so do what feels right for your writing when and where. Not every character or scene warrants a creative description, either. Especially if theyâre not even a secondary character.
Using a combination of color descriptions from standard to creative is probably a better method than straight creative. But again, do whatâs good for your tale.
Natural Settings - Sky
Pictured above: Harvest Moon -Twilight, Fall/Autumn Leaves, Clay, Desert/Sahara, Sunlight - Sunrise - Sunset - Afterglow - Dawn- Day- Daybreak, Field - Prairie - Wheat, Mountain/Cliff, Beach/Sand/Straw/Hay.
Now before you run off to compare your heroineâs skin to the harvest moon or a cliff side, think about the associations to your words.
When I think cliff, I think of jagged, perilous, rough. I hear sand and picture grainy, yet smooth. Calm. mellow.
So consider your character and what you see fit to compare them to.
Also consider whose perspective youâre describing them from. Someone describing a person they revere or admire may have a more pleasant, loftier description than someone who canât stand the person.
âHer face was like the fire-gold glow of dawn, lifting my gaze, drawing me in.â
âShe had a sandy complexion, smooth and tawny.â
Even creative descriptions tend to draw help from your standard words.
Flowers
Pictured above: Calla lilies, Western Coneflower, Hazel Fay, Hibiscus, Freesia, Rose
It was a bit difficult to find flowers to my liking that didnât have a 20 character name or wasnât called something like âchocolate silkâ so these are the finalists.Â
Youâll definitely want to avoid purple-prose here.
Also be aware of flowers that most mightâve never heard of. Roses are easy, as most know the look and coloring(s) of this plant. But Western coneflowers? Calla lilies? Maybe not so much.
âHe entered the cottage in a huff, cheeks a blushing brown like the flowers Nana planted right under my window. Hazel Fay she called them, was it?â
Assorted Plants & Nature
Pictured above: Cattails, Seashell, Driftwood, Pinecone, Acorn, Amber
These ones are kinda odd. Perhaps because Iâve never seen these in comparison to skin tone, With the exception of amber.
At least theyâre common enough that most may have an idea what youâre talking about at the mention of âpinecone.âÂ
I suggest reading out your sentences aloud to get a better feel of how itâll sounds.
âAuburn hair swept past pointed ears, set around a face like an acorn both in shape and shade.â
I pictured some tree-dwelling being or person from a fantasy world in this example, which makes the comparison more appropriate.
I donât suggest using a comparison just âcuz you canâ but actually being thoughtful about what youâre comparing your character to and how it applies to your character and/or setting.
Wood
Pictured above: Mahogany, Walnut, Chestnut, Golden Oak, Ash
Wood can be an iffy description for skin tone. Not only due to several of them having âfoodyâ terminology within their names, but again, associations.
Some people would prefer not to compare/be compared to wood at all, so get opinions, try it aloud, and make sure itâs appropriate to the character if you do use it.
âThe old warlockâs skin was a deep shade of mahogany, his stare serious and firm as it held mine.â
Metals
Pictured above: Platinum, Copper, Brass, Gold, Bronze
Copper skin, brass-colored skin, golden skinâŠ
Iâve even heard variations of these used before by comparison to an object of the same properties/coloring, such as penny for copper.
These also work well with modifiers.
âThe dress of fine white silks popped against the deep bronze of her skin.â
Gemstones - Minerals
Pictured above: Onyx, Obsidian, Sard, Topaz, Carnelian, Smoky Quartz, Rutile, Pyrite, Citrine, Gypsum
These are trickier to use. As with some complex colors, the writer will have to get us to understand what most of these look like.
If you use these, or any more rare description, consider if it actually âfitsâ the book or scene.
Even if youâre able to get us to picture what ârutileâ looks like, why are you using this description as opposed to something else? Have that answer for yourself.
âHis skin reminded her of the topaz ring her father wore at his finger, a gleaming stone of brown, mellow facades.âÂ
Physical Description
Physical character description can be more than skin tone.
Show us hair, eyes, noses, mouth, handsâŠbody posture, body shape, skin texture⊠though not necessarily all of those nor at once.
Describing features also helps indicate race, especially if your character has some traits common within the race they are, such as afro hair to a Black character.
How comprehensive you decide to get is up to you. I wouldnât overdo it and get specific to every mole and birthmark. Noting defining characteristics is good, though, like slightly spaced front teeth, curls that stay flopping in their face, hands freckled with sunspotsâŠ
General Tips
Indicate Race Early: I suggest indicators of race be made at the earliest convenience within the writing, with more hints threaded throughout here and there.
Get Creative On Your Own:Â Obviously, I couldnât cover every proper color or comparison in which has been âapprovedâ to use for your charactersâ skin color, so itâs up to you to use discretion when seeking other ways and shades to describe skin tone.
Skin Color May Not Be Enough: Describing skin tone isnât always enough to indicate someoneâs ethnicity. As timeless cases with readers equating brown to âdark whiteâ or something, more indicators of race may be needed.
Describe White characters and PoC Alike: You should describe the race and/or skin tone of your white characters just as you do your Characters of Color. If you donât, you risk implying that White is the default human being and PoC are the âOtherâ).
PSA: Donât use âColored.â Based on some asks weâve received using this word, Iâd like to say that unless you or your character is a racist grandmama from the 1960s, do not call People of Color âcoloredâ please.Â
Not Sure Where to Start? You really canât go wrong using basic colors for your skin descriptions. Itâs actually what many people prefer and works best for most writing. Personally, I tend to describe my characters using a combo of basic colors + modifiers, with mentions of undertones at times. I do like to veer into more creative descriptions on occasion.
Want some alternatives to âskinâ or âskin colorâ? Try: Appearance, blend, blush, cast, coloring, complexion, flush, glow, hue, overtone, palette, pigmentation, rinse, shade, sheen, spectrum, tinge, tint, tone, undertone, value, wash.
Skin Tone Resources
List of Color Names
The Color Thesaurus
Skin Undertone & Color Matching
Tips and Words on Describing Skin
Photos: Undertones Described (Modifiers included)
Online Thesaurus (try colors, such as âredâ & âbrownâ)
Donât Call me Pastries: Creative Skin Tones w/ pics IÂ
Writing & Description Guides
WWCÂ Featured Description Posts
WWC Guide: Words to Describe Hair
Writing with Color: Description & Skin Color Tags
7 Offensive Mistakes Well-intentioned Writers Make
I tried to be as comprehensive as possible with this guide, but if you have a question regarding describing skin color that hasnât been answered within part I or II of this guide, or have more questions after reading this post, feel free to ask!
~ Mod Colette
Idk what trans man out there needs to hear this but being men doesnât make us evil, or bad. Realizing youre a man doesnât magically make you a horrible person. Youâre not betraying women by realizing youre a man. You donât need to be scared of becoming something cruel. Men are not inherently evil. Men are not inherently cruel, or monsters.
You are not a monster.
Sex doesnât make us whole.
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL ASEXUALITY DAY!
What abusers believe.
If youâve ever had to deal with an abusive person in your life - like an abusive parent or partner - youâve probably wondered what made them treat you that way. If you understand why abuse is happening, the thinking goes, you might be able to figure out how to make it stop.Â
So why do abusers do what they do? Do they have anger issues? Drinking problems? Past trauma? Personality disorders? Do they just need to get in touch with their feelings and learn how to communicate better?
Nope.Â
Abusive behaviours come from abusive beliefs. Abusers - whether consciously or unconsciously - hold specific beliefs about relationships that drive their behaviour and allow them to justify the horrible things they do. Even if your abuser has never put their beliefs into words, youâll probably recognize a lot of these abusive beliefs:
You are responsible for my emotions. It is never my responsibility to reflect on my emotional reactions or learn better coping skills - itâs your responsibility to stop doing things that make me angry or upset.
I must act on my emotions. If I am angry, I am going to lash out. You have no right to criticize me for that, and itâs not my responsibility to learn to manage my  emotions - you have to stop making me lash out at you. Asking me not to act on my emotions is controlling and wrong.
You will always be responsible for my emotions. Even if the relationship ends, you will continue to be responsible for my emotions, and I will expect you to continue to prioritize my feelings.
If I have feelings about something, itâs my business. If something you do or think causes an emotional reaction in me, then I have a right to get involved or tell you what to do. My feelings must be the priority. You donât have the right to tell me that itâs none of my business.Â
You must judge me on my intentions, not my actions. If I didnât mean to hurt you or scare you, then you donât have the right to be hurt or scared. No one has the right to try to hold me accountable unless I meant to hurt someone.
I get to decide what your intentions were. If you hurt me, you meant to hurt me. If you make me jealous, you meant to make me jealous. Nothing you do is ever accidental or unintended - everything you do is intentional and malicious, even if it was a response to something I did.
My feelings are genuine; your feelings are manipulation. If Iâm upset, my feelings are real and important. If you are upset, you have an ulterior motive - youâre just trying to be manipulative and get attention or sympathy for yourself.
You have freedoms because I allow you to. Every freedom you have in your life - like wearing what you want - itâs because I generously allow it. I expect you to be grateful to me for that. I have the right to take those freedoms away whenever I want, and I expect you to obey.
If you set boundaries with me, you are mistreating me. If you really loved me, you wouldnât set boundaries with me. You are doing this to intentionally hurt me, which means I donât have to respect those boundaries.
You holding me accountable for hurting you is worse than me hurting you. My pain at being called out is worse than your pain at being mistreated. If I feel bad about something I did, I have already been punished enough. You trying to discuss the issue or hold me accountable is just your way of abusing me.
If I apologized for something, you have to forgive me. If the relationship has ended, you have to reconcile with me. You donât get to ask for more time apart or more discussion of the issue - once Iâve apologized, the matter is closed for good.
The relationship is not over until I say it is over. So long as I want a relationship with you, you must have a relationship with me. Your feelings are irrelevant. Even if we have broken up, you must remain available to me so we can get back together in the future. Not wanting a relationship with me means you are mistreating me or being immature.Â
I am the authority in this relationship. I am smarter and more perceptive than you. I know what is best for both of us. My version of events is always the correct one. I have superior judgement, taste and opinions. If you question me or disagree with me after Iâve given you the correct answer, you are disrespecting and mistreating me, or you are simply immature and incapable of knowing whatâs good for you.
I have the right to control you. It is my absolute right to decide what you do and who you associate with. You have no right to disobey me. I am owed obedience and control; if you donât give me those things, you are wronging me and cheating me out of the relationship I deserve.Â
If you resist my control, I am allowed to do whatever I think is necessary to get it back. Once youâve resisted me, I am justified in whatever I do to regain control of you. I am not responsible for my actions when you resist my control; you forced me to do it, and itâs your own fault.Â
I should be your main focus. Everything else in your life comes secondary to me. When you make decisions, my feelings should be your first consideration. You are expected to make sacrifices for me and put me at the center of your life; I am not obligated to do the same for you.Â
If I spend money on you or do something for you, you are in debt to me. You spending money on me or doing things for me does not erase your debt to me, and I am never in debt to you. You are indebted to me for as long as I decide. I may decide that your belongings and earnings also belong to me, since I allow you to have them. I may also decide at any time that you owe me for gifts I gave you, even if they were meant to be gifts.
I am not abusive, and you are not allowed to tell me otherwise. I know what abuse is, and real abusers are significantly worse than me. If our relationship has ever had any good times or positive moments, it canât possibly be abusive. If you accuse me of being abusive, you are the one abusing me, or you have been led astray by bad influences.Â
Relationships should be effortless (for me). I am owed a relationship that is peaceful and requires no real effort from me. It is your job to make sure we have that kind of relationship. If there is any tension or conflict in the relationship, it is your fault, and you are depriving me of the relationship I deserve to have.Â
Abusers and victims alike often buy into the narrative that abuse is rooted in anger issues - after all, abusers are frequently angry, and anger is an issue that can be treated. But this narrative just isnât true. Abusers arenât abusive because they are angry. Abusers are angry because they are abusive.Â
A non-abusive partner is not someone who has learned how to control their rage whenever you spend time with your friends or get home 15 minutes late from work. A non-abusive partner just doesnât feel any rage in those situations. An abuserâs rage is firmly rooted in their beliefs about relationships - they feel entitled to a relationship that meets their impossible expectations, and when they inevitably donât get it, they bubble over with fury. Whether they know it or not, they have firmly entrenched beliefs about how relationships should be, and those beliefs are at the heart of their abuse.Â
Can abusers stop believing these things? Maybe. If they can acknowledge that they have these beliefs, accept that these beliefs are dangerous and unreasonable and let go of these beliefs, maybe itâs possible for them to no longer be abusive in the future. Maybe. But itâs not your job to hang around and find out. If youâre in an abusive relationship of any kind, you deserve better. There are many people in this world who donât hold abusive views of relationships, and you deserve to find happiness with them.Â
Psychologist John Gottmanâs âRelationship Repair Checklistâ
dear caretakers of children: stop telling kids âI donât care who started it!â. youâre teaching children to ignore unequal power balances. that leads to legitimate belief in things like reverse racism, misandry, heterophobia, etc. youâre teaching children that itâs wrong to retaliate when they are wronged. âwho started itâ is very, very relevant.
It can also teach them that defending themselves is wrong and set them up for abuse later in life.
It always matters who started it. One person is defending themselves, and one person instigated it. When you tell them you âdonât care who started itâ youâve taught one of them that if they defend themselves they will be punished for doing so. Youâve taught the other one that they can do whatever they wish to others, no one will punish only them for it, their victim will be seen as equally accountable for what happened.
Is that really a lesson you want your kids to absorb?
Adventures of Potya!
Nap time in the garden đ±
đđđđđ