I actually want to die

It seems like I have all the problems in the world and you bet your ass I'm going to complain about them all so welcome to my personal hell

[ventisizeddepression]

I haven't loved myself in years and that's a terrible realization but it's true. I can't remember the last time I actually loved myself

[ventisizeddepression]

This is gonna be a long and pointless rant but it’s on my mind so I’m gonna write about it.

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for a little over a month. I thought he was sweet and caring and understanding but oh boy was I wrong. He was manipulative and he damaged my mental health and sent me into a spiral of relapsing on everything I got out of 3 years ago. I tried to tell him that I needed a break and that he made me feel like I was suffocating and when I suggested a break, he flipped out. He apparently couldn’t “be apart from me for more than a day babe” and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t breathe. I had actually considered suicide for the first time in 3 years. I was spiraling out of control and he knew what he was doing to me. I eventually couldn’t handle it anymore so I broke up with him a week later. He sent me spiraling out of control and there were so many red flags from the start that I couldn’t see because he blinded and manipulated me. He still makes me feel like shit because he still texts me to this day, weeks after we’ve broken up, and says “I’m always here if you need anything. Just text whenever” and that PISSES ME OFF. He is the reason why I’m relapsing and he knows he is but he still tries to manipulate me and get me to come crawling back but guess what buddy? You were my second actual crush in my whole life and I saw myself having a future with you for some damn reason and you crushed me. You do not deserve me. I refuse to talk to you, so back off. I’m much better off without you.

[ventisizeddepression]

Since we've started dating, we've had some bumps in the road but our 1 month is on Saturday and he's coming over for dinner to meet my parents and that's terrifying to me. I know it'll be fine but it's still scary but I'm excited because that's one step closer to my parents letting him take me out places with is so good

[i-am-a-fish]

everyone who reads this post will get some big spicy joy within 24 large minutes (hours)

[sridevi]

what if we kissed 🙈🙈 at the kia summer sales event? 😳😳

[tsotea-deactivated20210727]

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

[torbrowser-official]

your the Yee to me Haw

@ who ever is reading this

[ventisizeddepression]

Having a boyfriend makes me feel so good. It motivates me to look my best and it just overall improves my mood. 

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[zigxortega]

[zac--efren]

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

[scientiablr]

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

[pussylipgloss]

march last year i started a business model and it seems like i’ll finally start my business late march lmao weird

[ventisizeddepression]

I need all the luck I can get man

[ventisizeddepression]

THIS FUCKING WORKED

I GOT A BOYFRIEND WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART IN LATE MARCH OH MY GOD

[ventisizeddepression]

I love him.

I love him so much that my heart hurts

He makes me smile more than anyone else ever has. I'm so glad that I get to be with him.

Every time a notification comes in with his name on it, I smile and click immediately.

He cares about me so much and I haven't felt that in a long time.

He probably won't ever see this but I'm gonna post it anyway

[super-metroid]

say those three words and i’m yours

doctor octagonapus blah

[i-am-a-fish]

did u kno

that you

are deserving

of love?

because,

y'ar

[pendejx-deactivated20200323]

Psychological fact: If a tear falls from your right eye first, you’re a little pansy bitch. If a tear falls from your left eye first, you’re a little pansy bitch.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.

[forrestsandfeathers0]

You fool, that was Arby himself.

[tiktoksithinkarefunny]

[bowsersex-deactivated20220424]

This is better than any found footage horror film ever made

[like-10-bees]

I love :

1. How you can hear them all trying not to laugh

2. The shear amount of friends he had to get together to make this

3. The one who goes “you want a cripe sanberry?”

[ventisizeddepression]

I love you

I love how when we see each other for 5 seconds in the hallway between 1st and 2nd period every day we get to say quick sentences to each other and it makes me smile all the way to class

The day when you pulled me to the wall and told me about your first block still makes me smile even though it was months ago

I go to school so I can see you

You're the only one like that

[ventisizeddepression]

I like how you comment on my Instagram posts and tell me how long you slept even though it's so dumb and unnecessary to tell me but you did because you thought I'd like to know.

I like how this weekend, you were joking with my friends and I about dating and "steps" in our relationship but as far as I know we're only friends.

I just wish you'd ask me already

But I don't know what I would say

Even you know I'm bad at these things but I wish you'd ask anyway