Interview Vampire Daily

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Phantogram Three

izzy's playlists!
Cosimo Galluzzi
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NASA
The Bowery Presents

shark vs the universe
Noah Kahan
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Sweet Seals For You, Always
RMH

roma★
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Kiana Khansmith
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@veritydrake
Star Wars // Mamma Mia!
where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry
zenni and it’s amazing and i love it 40 dollar bifocals fuck yeah
Hey I’m reblogging this again because if you need glasses here’s what I do:
Go to Costco/Sams Club/WalMart - wherever they’ve got that $58 eye exam. That’s with no insurance, btw. Just $58 cash on the counter, you get your eyes examined.
They’ll give you a copy of your prescription. ASK THE DOCTOR TO MEASURE YOUR PUPIL DISTANCE. If they don’t it’s not a huge deal, you just have to have a ruler around that has millimeters so you can measure it yourself and it won’t be as accurate but being off by as much as a centimeter isn’t a problem.
Make them give you a copy of your prescription - you are allowed to have this, they have to give you it, you don’t have to buy glasses there. If anyone challenges you say you need a copy for your records and you’re not going to buy glasses today.
Go to https://www.zennioptical.com/ and start looking at frames/glasses that you like. If you create an account it’ll let you upload a photo and based on your pupil distance the site will estimate how well various frames will fit you.
Add the frames you like to cart and start checking out - the checkout process will ask you for your RX details that will be written in the boxes on your RX page. It’s pretty intuitive to copy it over but if you get lost use the livechat feature on the zenni page.
Start selecting your glasses details. Your RX will determine what kind of lens you get (go with the one zenni recommends for materials and thickness) but your needs will determine the other stuff. I make sure to get the fancy oleophobic coating because I’m a slimy bog monster. I also get the cheapest pair of sunglasses possible because bog monsters hate the sun. You can get transitions lenses or anti-scratch coating or super lightweight lenses or whatever works best for you. The extras will add up in cost but you gotta do what you gotta do - my life is much better with a pair of sunglasses than it is with some clip-ons for my regular glasses; your life may be better with transitions lenses instead of carrying a second set of glasses. DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.
Don’t bother paying the rush shipping, this is going to take two weeks regardless.
GLASSES ARRIVE. WEAR GLASSES.
If the fit isn’t perfect see if the place that did your eye exam will adjust the fit for you. They often will free of charge.
GLASSES. GLASSES. I CAN SEE.
PROGRESSIVE BIFOCALS THAT COST $40 WITH CUTE FRAMES AND NICE COATING.
SUNGLASSES.
FUCK
It costs less for me to get two pairs of bifocals, one tinted and one clear, with special coatings and nice frames than it would cost me to get one pair of single-vision glasses from Warby Parker.
The cheapest frames available for adults on Lenscrafter’s site is $69.95. That is JUST the frames, not the lenses. The lenses are like $200. The anti-glare coating is like $70. THE ANTI GLARE COATING IS FREE AND INCLUDED WITH YOUR PURCHASE AT ZENNI. Just the frames and the coating at lenscrafters costs more than my two pairs of glasses AND my eye exam.
I can’t articulate how many literal headaches Zenni has saved me because I just used to wear my old prescription until I had trouble keeping my eyes open from the strain. Now at the first hint of eye strain it’s like “Not today, Satan!” and I can plan for the $100 expense that’s going to last me potentially years.
Obligatory reminder that a ton of people have added but still, Zenni and other likewise sites (1-800-Contacts) require the prescription be up to date within a year. So yeah plan that in, any time you shop, that script has to be from within the last year.
I would also like to submit glassesshop.com because, though I shopped Zenni exclusively from 2012-2017, in the last six months I have gotten four pairs of glasses from GlassesShop, and still paid less than a hundred dollars.
The key difference for me was that while Zenni was utterly eye opening (ha, eye pun), they rarely do sales, and GlassesShop is constantly rolling through a variety of sales. There is almost always a wide selection of glasses on Buy One Get One Free promotion, and the free pair includes the lenses, no matter what add ons are on there or whatever kinda prescription you got, as long as its the less expensive pair.
They also do weekly specials where rotating selections of frames go on clearance-rate pricing, from $6.95-12.95. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the constant variety of sales, promotions, and discounts they offer, and doesn’t include that, also unlike Zenni, if you have an account every purcahse you make accrues points which can be applied in dollar amount to future purchases, even with discounts/sales/promos also applied.
Like Zenni, GlassesShop lets you upload a selfie to “try on” frames you’re interested in, but they have a much wider selection and variety. They take about the same amount of time as Zenni to craft and ship your glasses, and they’re on par as far as quality and accuracy of prescription goes.
I will always be grateful to Zenni for opening the door for me on the online glasses market, because as someone netting less than 20k a year after taxes glasses used to be a “upon pain of death/causing a car accident from blindness” purchase but have become a “well that’s a great sale and I LOVE those frames… I guess I could do with another pair of glasses, there’s $30-50 in my budget!” kind of thing, and that’s incredible.
But I probably won’t be switching back, as after having made multiple purchases, the only thing I like better about Zenni compared to GlassesShop is Zenni has better cleaning cloths.
Regardless, they’re two excellent, amazingly affordable alternatives to spending minimum of $100 at a brick and mortar glasses store, and I’ve turned into something of a proselytizer for both, because people deserve to know they have these options.
It’s bad enough we’re out here paying to see, but too many of us don’t realize we could be paying a lot less to see, and in the cutest glasses best suited to our tastes, instead of whatever’s “cheap” at WalMart.
also gonna throw out eyebuydirect, which does some great sales. I’ve gotten prescription glasses as cheap as $6 and prescription sunglasses for $20.
Ordered from both Zenni and Eyebuydirect before and a great experience every time. I just bought two new pairs from Eyebuydirect. I upgraded to their blue filtering lenses (didn’t expect a huge difference but woah, it was definitely worth the upgrade) and with the sale going on, I paid less than $60.
eyebuydirect is legit
though I still remember the chuckle I got when that resident asked if I had warby parkers and I told him where they really came from
firmoo is nice too
For all spec-tacular followers
As someone almost legally blind who has spent literal shit tons of money on contacts and glasses, and is also currently making under 20k a year, this is important and good information to know and I hope it helps someone. People only get one pair of eyes for a lifetime, and there should be no reason to not make prescription glasses accessible to everyone.
Signal Boost
i did not need an up-to-date rx for my glasses on zenni??? i just typed that bitch in and then glasses showed up?
Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend
So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist
We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.
I love Kat dearly
but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile
so one day she throws her back out
bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright
“But also I needed Tampons and like. A Burrito, real bad.”
she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this
and, in an
impeccable
leap of reasoning, decides
“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.
But I can ARCH my back just fine.
SO
I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,
And amble on down to the 7-11”
“And get me that Burrito”
It is,
for context,
after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.
Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.
Whatever.
Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.
Fucking around in the burrito section
It’s also worth mentioning that Kat
1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention
2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so
tonight’s song is something from veggietales.
DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND
and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway
Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons
She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire,
exactly
how she used the shelves to climb up the counter
like one of the boston robotics beasties
dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.
“Register’s broke.”
“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” “Really? I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh! OK! Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”
Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about "A Suspicious Individual” at tle 7-11.
It took her
FOUR
FUCKING
YEARS
to realize she was the suspicious individual
The Avengers getting thrown forward in time for some reason and it turns out that they’ve gone down in history as legends but, somewhat like the Greek Gods, all the information and facts about them is warped almost beyond recognition and they spend the entire time in the future just being offended by how incorrect everything is
Steve: Okay so there is NO WAY they seriously think that the serum turned me into a FISH for seven hundreds years so I could survive under the fucking ice. And why the FUCK are they spelling my name as ‘Stiphin’ ??????
Tony: Well according to this history book I fucked my way through the entire population of New York and was the father of every second-generation superhero. Does that make me Zeus?
Thor, squinting at the drawings: Why do I look like Rapunzel
History Professor: And, one of the most powerful heroes of all, called himself king of the insects. With eight arms & six eyes and the chosen name of Lord Peterson, this ruler once set an army of poisonous spiders upon his mortal enemy after finding out that she had killed his family and stolen the woman he loved. It is thought that the lands were infested with spiders for years after, as a warning to anyone who attempted to challenge him
Peter, 15 years old, remembering how he can’t even pick up a spider without screaming: I did what now
you know what? go to your local library.
nobody cares if you just want to read Twitter with the free wifi. in fact we’re ecstatic you’re there.
don’t be afraid to touch the books. hell, taking them off the shelf and leaving them on shelving carts is one of the main ways the library counts usage and foot traffic, so don’t reshelve them yourself and don’t be afraid of looking at them!
most libraries now allow covered drinks, and many have special areas where you’re allowed to bring something to eat. have your lunch there, it’s quiet!
lovely large tables for crafts or art? they have you covered!
magazines and periodicals so you can read the newest events or pick up a new recipe? check!
you can even just watch a DVD if you have the appropriate portable screen and courtesy headphones.
GO to the library. LOVE the library. USE the library. you already paid for it!!
I’ve *literally* been writing most of Family Lore and working on art comissions at the local library.
Things Libraries have that are awesome if you’re a creator:
Wi-Fi. Really, really good Wi-Fi
Mine doesn’t just allow covered drinks- it’s got a whole-ass coffee bar.
“study rooms” you can camp in for free (but you have to move if someone books them) OR that you can book for a couple hours on certain days FOR REALLY CHEAP
like literally i pay $15 for 3 8-hour days a week and i get my own room, a bigass table, great light, the free wifi, AND I CAN RENT ANY REFERENCE MATERIAL OR ART SUPPLIES I NEED
OH
YOU DIDN’T KNOW?
YOU CAN RENT ALL KINDS OF SHIT FROM YOUR LIBRARY
FOR FREE
I RENTED A MANGIFIER, DRATING TOOLS AND A BUNCH OF ORCHID BOOKS FOR A PROJECT
I RENTED A GODDAMN SEWING MACHINE ONCE
F O R F R E E
it’s like all the benefits of renting an office space but for SO MUCH CHEAPER also you CAN GET ALL KINDS OF SUPPLIES
THEY HAVE A 3-D PRINTER
Things Libraries DON’T have that are ALSO AWESOME if you’re a creator:
I 100% understand the appeal of woking in coffehouses- they’re spaces that are designed to be comfortable and if you have ADHD like me the background chatter is actually a good stim but there’s also frequently THAT GUY.
You know, the guy who sees you working and waves at you until you take your headphones off then he wants to tell you all about how He’s A Writer ™ or a Cinematographer ™ working on a novel or whatever and he just sucks up your time talking about himself and then he wants your contact information because he thinks that because you haven’t actually thrown the overpriced coffe in his face he’s sucessfully seduced you?
That Guy?
Is NEVER at the Library.
Because it’s a quiet space so he can’t talk about himself becuase the hyperstressed college students will literally axe-murder him
Also I forgot in the earlier section but sometimes The Society For Creative Anachronism does events there and there are actual axe-weilding valkyrie women present.
that’s very distracting
but in a good way.
Your local library ALSO does not have that a rented office space, coffeehouse, or your kitchen table does: missionaries, telemarketers, the couple having a loud and messy breakup at the next table, the nagging sensation that you should be doing housework instead, that one jackass that thought the polar vortex was an ideal temperature and adjusts the thermostat accordingly, your cat jumping on table and spilling stuff on your work, crap wifi, Mandatory overpriced coffee, Office Dress Codes, Or a building manager that “forgets” to pay the utilities becuase they’ve been embezzling everyone’s rent to support thier cabbage patch kids addiction.
Libraries be good shit yo.
I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.
But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck.
I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.
You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.
You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should. But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.
I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.
And I love it.
I’m a rabbi, and so I’m particularly saddened whenever religious arguments are brought in to defend social prejudices — as they often are in the discussion about transgender rights. In fact, the Hebrew Bible, when read in its original language, offers a highly elastic view of gender. And I do mean highly elastic: In Genesis 3:12, Eve is referred to as “he.” In Genesis 9:21, after the flood, Noah repairs to “her” tent. Genesis 24:16 refers to Rebecca as a “young man.” And Genesis 1:27 refers to Adam as “them.”
Surprising, I know. And there are many other, even more vivid examples: In Esther 2:7, Mordecai is pictured as nursing his niece Esther. In a similar way, in Isaiah 49:23, the future kings of Israel are prophesied to be “nursing kings.”
Why would the Bible do this? These aren’t typos. In the ancient world, well-expressed gender fluidity was the mark of a civilized person. Such a person was considered more “godlike.” In Ancient Mesopotamia and Egypt, the gods were thought of as gender-fluid, and human beings were considered reflections of the gods. The Israelite ideal of the “nursing king” seems to have been based on a real person: a woman by the name of Hatshepsut who, after the death of her husband, Thutmose II, donned a false beard and ascended the throne to become one of Egypt’s greatest pharaohs.
The Israelites took the transgender trope from their surrounding cultures and wove it into their own sacred scripture. The four-Hebrew-letter name of God, which scholars refer to as the Tetragrammaton, YHWH, was probably not pronounced “Jehovah” or “Yahweh,” as some have guessed. The Israelite priests would have read the letters in reverse as Hu/Hi — in other words, the hidden name of God was Hebrew for “He/She.” Counter to everything we grew up believing, the God of Israel — the God of the three monotheistic, Abrahamic religions to which fully half the people on the planet today belong — was understood by its earliest worshipers to be a dual-gendered deity. - Rabbi Mark Sameth
A doctor discovers an important question patients should be asked
This patient isn’t usually mine, but today I’m covering for my partner in our family-practice office, so he has been slipped into my schedule.
Reading his chart, I have an ominous feeling that this visit won’t be simple.
A tall, lanky man with an air of quiet dignity, he is 88. His legs are swollen, and merely talking makes him short of breath.
He suffers from both congestive heart failure and renal failure. It’s a medical Catch-22: When one condition is treated and gets better, the other condition gets worse. His past year has been an endless cycle of medication adjustments carried out by dueling specialists and punctuated by emergency-room visits and hospitalizations.
Hemodialysis would break the medical stalemate, but my patient flatly refuses it. Given his frail health, and the discomfort and inconvenience involved, I can’t blame him.
Now his cardiologist has referred him back to us, his primary-care providers. Why send him here and not to the ER? I wonder fleetingly.
With us is his daughter, who has driven from Philadelphia, an hour away. She seems dutiful but wary, awaiting the clinical wisdom of yet another doctor.
After 30 years of practice, I know that I can’t possibly solve this man’s medical conundrum.
A cardiologist and a nephrologist haven’t been able to help him, I reflect,so how can I? I’m a family doctor, not a magician. I can send him back to the ER, and they’ll admit him to the hospital. But that will just continue the cycle… .
Still, my first instinct is to do something to improve the functioning of his heart and kidneys. I start mulling over the possibilities, knowing all the while that it’s useless to try.
Then I remember a visiting palliative-care physician’s words about caring for the fragile elderly: “We forget to ask patients what they want from their care. What are their goals?”
I pause, then look this frail, dignified man in the eye.
“What are your goals for your care?” I ask. “How can I help you?”
The patient’s desire
My intuition tells me that he, like many patients in their 80s, harbors a fund of hard-won wisdom.
He won’t ask me to fix his kidneys or his heart, I think. He’ll say something noble and poignant: “I’d like to see my great-granddaughter get married next spring,” or “Help me to live long enough so that my wife and I can celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary.”
His daughter, looking tense, also faces her father and waits.
“I would like to be able to walk without falling,” he says. “Falling is horrible.”
This catches me off guard.
That’s all?
But it makes perfect sense. With challenging medical conditions commanding his caregivers’ attention, something as simple as walking is easily overlooked.
A wonderful geriatric nurse practitioner’s words come to mind: “Our goal for younger people is to help them live long and healthy lives; our goal for older patients should be to maximize their function.”
Suddenly I feel that I may be able to help, after all.
“We can order physical therapy — and there’s no need to admit you to the hospital for that,” I suggest, unsure of how this will go over.
He smiles. His daughter sighs with relief.
“He really wants to stay at home,” she says matter-of-factly.
As new as our doctor-patient relationship is, I feel emboldened to tackle the big, unspoken question looming over us.
“I know that you’ve decided against dialysis, and I can understand your decision,” I say. “And with your heart failure getting worse, your health is unlikely to improve.”
He nods.
“We have services designed to help keep you comfortable for whatever time you have left,” I venture. “And you could stay at home.”
Again, his daughter looks relieved. And he seems … well … surprisingly fine with the plan.
I call our hospice service, arranging for a nurse to visit him later today to set up physical therapy and to begin plans to help him to stay comfortable — at home.
Back home
Although I never see him again, over the next few months I sign the order forms faxed by his hospice nurses. I speak once with his granddaughter. It’s somewhat hard on his wife to have him die at home, she says, but he’s adamant that he wants to stay there.
A faxed request for sublingual morphine (used in the terminal stages of dying) prompts me to call to check up on him.
The nurse confirms that he is near death.
I feel a twinge of misgiving: Is his family happy with the process that I set in place? Does our one brief encounter qualify me to be his primary-care provider? Should I visit them all at home?
Two days later, and two months after we first met, I fill out his death certificate.
Looking back, I reflect: He didn’t go back to the hospital, he had no more falls, and he died at home, which is what he wanted. But I wonder if his wife felt the same.
Several months later, a new name appears on my patient schedule: It’s his wife.
“My family all thought I should see you,” she explains.
She, too, is in her late 80s and frail, but independent and mentally sharp. Yes, she is grieving the loss of her husband, and she’s lost some weight. No, she isn’t depressed. Her husband died peacefully at home, and it felt like the right thing for everyone.
“He liked you,” she says.
She’s suffering from fatigue and anemia. About a year ago, a hematologist diagnosed her with myelodysplasia (a bone marrow failure, often terminal). But six months back, she stopped going for medical care.
I ask why.
“They were just doing more and more tests,” she says. “And I wasn’t getting any better.”
Now I know what to do. I look her in the eye and ask:
“What are your goals for your care, and how can I help you?”
-Mitch Kaminski
Source
A beautifully written account of what it is like to be a good doctor, whose only concern is: “how can I help”.
Oppy deserves a happy ending, okay
Best birthday photo
been rewatching leverage and my new headcanon for my leverage/mcu fic is that every time eliot mentions dating someone who did X, Y, or Z, he’s still always talking about natasha and clint but is referencing different times they went undercover
natasha: neurologist, flight attendant, japanese policewoman, model
clint: stripper, model, another stripper two years later who was supposedly the twin of the first stripper, a third unrelated stripper
natasha: neurologist, flight attendant, japanese policewoman, model
there’s a scarlett johansson joke to be made here
yeah, i thought i’d just let that one speak for itself ;)
It's that time of year! Practical Magic. Thoughts? In as much unnecessary detail as you please?
OK so while it might seem now way past that time of year, I’m here to say it’s always Owens Season in my heart. A crunchy leaf autumn is obviously peak Owens, but February is no less Owens-y. You just have to believe.
Anyway. Thoughts. Here goes: Good things about the 1998 delicious cinematic masterpiece directed by actor, Carrie Fisher BFF, and director Griffin Dunne (fun fact: he’s also Joan Didion’s nephew! The more you know.) In no particular order:
What’s a job? Seriously, does anyone do ANY work around here? Neither of the aunts do more than can be charged from the occasional desperate lovesick townie, but like how often is that? Sally has the amazingly bare-minimum aesthetic job of hanging out in her wonderfully chic store and labelling things, from time to time. That is not a retail job I’VE ever had, and I’ve had a lot. Gillian? Hell no, it’s pool parties an undefined nomadic photoshoot life for Gilly. Husband Number One Michael pushes some crates of produce around? Sometimes? Just to be clear I LOVE THAT THIS MOVIE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT REAL-WORLD EMPLOYMENT BC THAT IS BORING. As far as it cares, you can hang out and live the witch aesthetic all day every day, braiding your hair and drying herbs, and that’s just how it is on this witch of an earth, and I WOULD ACTUALLY LOVE THAT YES THANKS. Idk, it’s an odd reaction, but just watching it gives me this ‘imagine if living was actually like this??’ vibe, quite separate from the narrative. It’s like one of those obnoxious ‘hands around tea cups/chunky sweaters’ aesthetic blogs, but like as though that was an ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL LIFE FOR AN ENTIRE 2 HOUR MOVIE. It’s extremely soothing and consistent in this regards, re: world building. Why not be someone with no reliable income who makes your own hand-pressed envelopes, go nuts. Love it.
It’s a romcom about women and love, but manages NOT to be about a specifically young single woman finding a specific singular love (ie the standard romcom narrative). Like, it still is a romcom in both genre and tone a lot of the time, but it’s about love, meaning: romantic love maybe actually coming around twice (or more), about love being between sisters, between mothers and daughters, between a community of women, with all the challenges and pains and joys of that. I mean Sally is arguably the protagonist, and she does find romantic love, but the climax of the narrative is not about her finding/saving that, it’s about her and Gillian, and it’s treated as the main relationship of the film. The big ‘oh no’ moment and the big ‘oh yes’ victory moment is all about the love between Sally and Gillian, and it’s given the same weight as a romcom would give the run to the airport moment. I mean Aidan Quinn is great but he’s quite literally an afterthought, plot beat wise.
Speaking of subverting tropes: it’s the husband who gets fridged to further a woman’s narrative. Chistopher Nolan wakes somewhere in fright. Feels good. Feel organic
Anyway THAT GRIMOIRE. Prop designs OF THE GODS. IT’S PERFECT. IT FOLDS OUT. IT HAS BOTANICAL ILLUSTRATIONS. IT’S HAND-WRITTEN. IT CAN MAKE LOVE SPELLS, OR ZOMBIES, WHATEVER YOU NEED.
and connected to that, THE HOUSE. Many many people have an obsession over the house. The kitchen, specifically. The still room (drying room/pantry). The greenhouse. The staircase. The parlour. This amazing house that does not exist because they shot it on federal lands where the filming permission stated all structures where to be temporary and removed at end of filming! It didn’t even have foundations - it was a dollshouse of a structure sitting flat on top of the earth, and it vanished in a puff of movie magic. Actually sort of perfect.
Soooooo a words on the aunts, and the curse: word of god has now clarified that Franny and Jet are sisters, so they’re actually Sally and Gilly of the previous generation, but tbh just going on the movie i feel that you can feel free to read them as Married Witches™ where Jet is the Owens and Fran is her non-Owens wife. Jet snaps ‘what about my poor Ethan’ in reference to her own tragic Cursed Dude Event, but it could be assumed by the viewer that after Ethan shuffled off this mortal, that she met Frances The Lesbian Witch and they got married. I mean if you wanted to infer that, i don’t think the movie contradicts it? If Sally and Gilly’s flashback mum was a ginger, and jet is the brunette sister, then Franny would be an in-law? Anyway, their life is amazing, which ever way you read it. But reading them as married does bring up an interesting what-if: is the curse specific to men? I’m gonna say yes. Maria was specifically abandoned by a man, and i think wording is important in both legal documents and binding curses, which are, after all, related.
speaking of the curse, I find it so tragic and interesting and PAINFUL that Maria’s curse was prompted by her grief and anger at her lover abandoning her, but she didn’t actually curse HIM. Whoever he was he probably lived out his puritan days or whatever. Her curse was directed INWARD: she caused pain to herself and her family. It’s not the townsfolk men who are cursed, it’s the Owens women. That’s what we do. That’s what we’re taught to do as a response to breakups, when they hurt us, there’s not a big societal trend of men getting killed by ex-girfriends: after a breakup we react by hurting ourselves, not them. It’s the worst curse ever because you see it and you KNOW. That curse makes SENSE. and it’s HORRIBLE.
anyway in lighter news don’t you love the Owens Aesthetically Consistent Hair Colour Siblings? They could easily have made the 2 actresses consistently styled, but hey let’s make it fun. Flashback mum, Sally and Gilly, and Kylie and Antonia - One very ginger, one very brunette: it’s so pointless, so unexplained, and therefore amazing. The less explanation the better tbh. I love it.
Did you know Jimmy isn’t even rocking that Dracula Cowboy vibe in the novel? He’s just some american dude. But I guess they cast Goran Visnjic and were like ‘…….but he’s hot being Very Extremely Croatian, so Jimmy is Croatian now’. Excellent call.
all the small magics? Not like big, hand-wavy, nose-twitchy gesture magic, but just like Sally’s tea always stirring itself, and the aunts making toast appear to support an excuse. Sally and Michael’s matchmaking spell not being explained, or being given sparkly effects, it’s just [aunts tense about the time], [bells ring], Stockard Channing gives and incredibly fake ‘…..where are you going dear?’, and you KNOW there’s magic afoot. And of course, Phone. Tree. Day. Slow clap. I love the INFERENCE rather than the overt demonstration of the small magics.
So the cut a potentially endless post short, I will always be emotional about the the comparison between the woman in the first act who comes to the house to the aunts snapping out ‘why the hell else would i come here??’ like just disgusted at even being there, being compared with the image of Margo Martindale and the other townswomen all in the Owens house at the end (especially the woman who didn’t have a broom so she brought a mini-vaccum!) and how they don’t really understand the Owens but they came just because Sally told them she was afraid, and asked for help for a woman in danger.
Lastly, the soundtrack is PERFECT. Stevie goddamn Nicks. Amazing.
X-ray Records in the Soviet Union: During 50’s, music lovers, desperate for banned Western tunes, devised an ingenious way to print their own records. The only problem was the scarcity of vinyl. With the aid of a special device, people started pressing banned jazz and rock n’ roll music on thick radiographs scavenged from the dumpsters of hospitals. X-rays were plentiful (not to mention cheap), and while the records could only be pressed on a single side, the music they produced using a standard turntable was passable. The recordings even had a catchy name: bone music. - via
I remember my grandma telling me how they used to listen to Elvis on these makeshift x-ray records, I always wondered what they looked like.
thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia i’d just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit
but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and you’ll feel way better
it has made a huge difference in my life to know that it’s okay if i can’t fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better
…i did not know this, thank you
If anyone wants to look it up, the episode was specifically the Deadliest Catch crossover ep, and the myth was that it’s better/safer when working a 30 hour shift to take a 20 minute nap every six hours rather than try to power through. They did an obstacle course test, one without naps and one with, and even though they couldn’t even sleep half the time the naps resulted in their scores doubling.
So actually I undersold it, even if it’s 7:40 and your alarm goes off at 8 just lie down and shut your eyes and it will still be better than nothing
This was immensely huge for me as someone with anxiety issues. I used to drive myself delirious trying to ‘calm down before I went to sleep’ by staying up and just working myself into a panic. Having this knowledge and knowing that laying down and closing my eyes is a better option and counts as rest was way more helpful, eased my mind and actually sends you to sleep faster.
a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
text your landlord
remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
back up
ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
the door swings open
run up the stairs
open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
write tumblr post
shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.
Y’all are just reblogging this at the speed of sound tonight
Since it’s almost valentines day, and this message is about to get hammered in even more, reblogging this again.