now an accountant

the boring kind Honey, Inc. 26 - IL sent from florida peaches & scream #1 fan

[kaijuno]

[michaelnordeman]

They can be racing through the house at full speed, chasing invisible enemies and clearly having the time of their lives. The moment I pick up the camera, however, they transform. Suddenly I appear to be living with two profoundly unimpressed, slightly offended loaves of bread. Kornelia and Wilma (February, 2026).

[thats-a-cat]

that's a cat ✅️

[noccolibroccoli]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[headspace-hotel]

thought about that quote "homosexuality exists in 1000+ species, homophobia only exists in one" but how awkward would it be if we discovered another species that was homophobic

"homosexuality exists in 1000+ species, homophobia only exists in two. what? oh, humans, and the yellow-patched cuboid pinecone wren that was recently discovered on an island off the coast of canada. they're fucking bigots"

[tpwrtrmnky]

researchers: this condition is underdiagnosed advocacy groups: we'll spread knowledge that it's underdiagnosed healthcare workers: some of us will use expanded diagnostic criteria now patients: wow we finally know what's up

tabloids: the condition is mysteriously spreading. this is DANGEROUS.

[plounce]

aghhhh we're melting ahhh i bap you ok the head

[sowhatifimasimp]

@thats-a-cat

[thats-a-cat]

that's a cat ✅️

[dumbpuppyfag]

UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

[gutpuker-deactivated20251012]

[yellow-cat]

you cut me in line at the grocery store and next time you see me im wearing the collar your dead childhood dog used to wear

[innerchildabortionclinic]

obsessed w videos like this. i've never worked a corporate job yet I know it's accurate

[vhb1]

what is wrong with this

[dorothylarouge]

[important-cat-pics]

[thegenderal]

How we need 2 be acting as a society

[paparoach]

i will be your 30 year old mutual

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

i’m like if a girl who hates working took her job too seriously

[cruxiu]

45 year-old man, Chad Michael Watts, attacked a group of children protesting ICE in #Texas while wearing a read MAGA hat. The youth bravely fought back and defended themselves.

The far-Right carries out violence in support of Trump and threatens our freedom, our children and working-class communities everywhere.

[jdfeny]

Silly fascist

[vhb1]

Same guy that said he could fight a bear, or 99 bears

Yelling from that interest incurring truck post-tackled-by-20-sub-driving-age-kids about politics, definitely was panicking

Bro, and there's still a league of women somewhere willing to give him a chance, lmfao