victor

president of the esme squalor fanclub eswell propoganda pusher he him | ⚧︎ | adult commissions open!

[redstonedust]

i could never handle being a popular showrunner/writer/creator with a fandom because i know id go read fanfiction about my own characters and have to be physically held back from posting "you guys really think [blorbo] is a top??" on main

[samsayswhatever]

Shout out to the people who wake up a woman and go to bed a man. The the people who wear lipstick and have a beard. To the people whose gender is complicated. To the people who need a minute to think about it. To the people who don't really care. To the people who never stop thinking about it. To the people whose gender and sexuality are the same thing. To the people who like people in a way they can't explain. To the people who don't like anything. To the people with a thousand crushes. To the people who never had one.

[overthestars-and-offtoneverland]

Well, I just realized something horribly dark

Beatrice discovered that there was something about the horseradish-apple hybrid that was harmful to unborn babies…

Was Beatrice pregnant before Violet?

[overthestars-and-offtoneverland]

Hi, I was looking for this one.

Um, just wanted to remind people of this little theory I had and add the little headcanon I recently got that this would have probably been Lemony’s baby, not Bertrand’s.

(Sorry for those people who really really like the Violet Snicket theory. I’m a little anal about the timelines and the timeline doesn’t match Violet’s conception because Beatrice was pregnant on Ishmael’s Island and she and Bertrand were there for at least a year which means Violet had to be conceived on the island. Ergo, she’s Bertrand’s)

Yeah, uh…

Beatrice discovering the horseraddish apples harm unborn babies.

15ish-year long relationship.

Relationship wrapped up in tragedy.

Lemony almost being considered a trauma for Beatrice if she’s really gonna write a 200 page letter to break up with him…

Seemed to have discovered the side effects of the apples BEFORE the pregnancy/birth of her oldest daughter which could lead to the assumption of before she married her husband too…

Conclusion that Beatrice might have miscarried Lemony’s baby at some point.

And if she did, I wager it’s after she sent that breakup letter because that’s the only way I can accept Lemony not knowing he almost had a child.

Sent the letter

Found out she was pregnant

Either Lemony “dies” before she can tell him then she miscarries or visa versa and either way there’s nothing to tell a dead man anyway

Or this is just a little TOO dark

[unfortunatetheorist]

@overthestars-and-offtoneverland…

…how dark is too dark?

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph

[snicketstrange]

In fact, I always thought that Beatrice used some pregnant woman from the island as a guinea pig. Beatrice’s morality needs to be questioned… People easily attribute to her the fact that she killed Count Olaf’s lais or contributed to their deaths in some way, but they never consider that she would be capable of doing other things. After all, why did she want to create a tunnel from the island to the AA facilities? It seems that the cure and the disease were part of the same plan: Anwistle wanted to use the fungus to kill his enemies, and Beatrice would be the one responsible for making the right people immune to the fungus. Someone like that, who knew she was pregnant, would never risk herself or her baby. She was working on a drug, and like any drug there were risks. According to Kit, she never tasted the apple. She made someone else take the risks, and unfortunately that other person had their child killed by Beatrice, but an innocent victim of a violent world.

[victorsqualor]

I have an Esme ask! Thing I've wondered about - do you think she celebrates christmas if it even exists in their universe? If it does does she only celebrate on years when it is suddenly inexplicably In? (If that happens) Does she celebrate any festivals? Or do vfd have their own set of bizarre celebrations throughout the year? Feel free to answer or ignore as much of this ask as you like!!

hello oomf!! i thinkkkk given the jewish themes of asoue and the fact that every character is basically jewish unless stated otherwise, i find christmas unlikely tbh

(also for the purpose of this question i view esme as secular)

however i do think she does hanukkah. thinking about her and georgie in those eight days... georgie getting her a gift every day after getting So stressed trying to figure out exactly what is in and what is out. im getting ahead of myself

i think as far as vfd celebrations go the most significant one would probably be the masked balls... ill have to think more about this one. this is such a great question they definitely have more i will make a follow up post on this

[victorsqualor]

i love when ppl send me asks about esme pls send me asks about esme

[victorsqualor]

If you could choose an Esme from one episode (how she dresses, lines, way of being), which one would you choose?

without a doubtttt hostile hospital. i think atleast for netflix!esme we really saw her like come into her evil like... fully

netflix!erzats elevator esme and vile village esme are absolutely very evil nasty childsnatcher (love her) but theres still like. kinda a campy comedicness to her that overshadows her real evil like. capabilities in MY opinion

not to say that shes not campy and funny post that (its esme we're talking about) but i think in the hostile hospital and after that she really gets genuinely frightening like oh damn.. this woman isnt fucking around

also in terms of lines. the "come to mother" moment was so chilling.... brilliant stuff. i also love at the end of thh part 2 where its revealed there may have been a survivor of the fire and we see esme genuinely look SO distraught and on the verge of tears. such a brilliant insight to her personality idk

also her costumes in these 2 episodes r like easily my favourite out of every episode shes in. the lavender car look with the headscarf and fingerwaves that r reminiscent of her finger wave braid in the previous book/episode!!! showing that she probably didnt have time to do another hairstyle but worked with what she had, her nurse look which was still uniquely esme but had like the signs of wear and tear and bobbling on the dress and the MASSIVEEEE HAIR??? so good. just brilliant

also my favourite look from the entire series. her cruella-esque library of records chase outfit. esme squalor owner of the most unethical fur literally ever. the knife heels??? INSANE INSANE INSANEEEE!!! also her canon like super strength in that scene. lovely detail

[victorsqualor]

esme squalor listens to klezmer and dark cabaret she is a middle aged campy jewish ex theatre kid. gwen stefani and ayesha erotica do not exist in the snicketverse

[duallpa]

SABRINA CARPENTER Confessions II - The Film

[jeniferprince]

Entwined 🧡

patreon // buy prints here

[victorsqualor]

i always find the conversation around which baudelaire guardian would've been the best so interesting because its like. as if literally anyone the slightest bit affiliated with vfd wouldve been a good and healthy match in reality

like i hate to break it to u but like as long as vfd exists and as long as the baudelaires are around vfd members and vfd "safe places" etc etc etc... they r not knowing peace...

[victorsqualor]

esmes weird about georgies cane

[beatricebidelaire]

[sees financial adviser and hypnotist in the same sentence] eswell………

[beatricebidelaire]

esme and georgina rendezvous at hotel denouement and accidentally leaving a pair of handcuffs behind, found by a concierge. rumors immediately exploding amongst hotel concierges. the pair have been meeting at the hotel for a while - not overly high profile but not that much of a secret, most of the hotel staff knows, though previously the common speculation is that esme is hiring georgina for some job. that these meetings are purely for a transaction purpose. this new discovery changes things and is the highlight of hotel gossip for the whole month. among the concierges there are some esme fans who are immediately jealous and also some esme fans who are firmly convinced that esme is the one doing the handcuffing and also some think esme is the one being handcuffed. georgina orwell doesn’t have fans exactly nor does she have esme’s glamorous reputation, so to most people they just know her as a doctor. beatrice mingles with the concierges to try to get the latest update of esme. personally she’s disbelieving because georgina, evil actions aside, feels so boring and beatrice doubts that the boring doctor can keep someone like esme entertained. she expresses her opinions about this in frank’s office and then he kicks her out because it’s interrupting his work. the pair of handcuffs she’s collected from the concierges is accidentally left behind.

[3rd-world-elite]

[victorsqualor]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Georgina Orwell/Esmé Squalor Characters: Esmé Squalor, Georgina Orwell Additional Tags: distraught esme, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Fingering, georgies on her knees yayyy, Devotion, thigh kissing, Body Worship, Praise Kink, Tender Sex, Tenderness, Established Relationship, Domestic smut, Afterglow, canon divergent.. set inbetween the baud fire and duchess r masked ball, duchess r mention, Lingerie, Stockings, stocking removal, Words of Affirmation, Gentleness, bottom esme, top georgie, Light foot fetish, marks of the day, Vulnerability, esme has a bush YAY!!!, Sad with a Happy Ending, fluffesque…, suprisingly normal for these two, arson plotting Summary:

esme is distraught. georgie makes it better

[victorsqualor]

the great thing with asoue is if your fav character is anyone who lemony canonically dislikes you can literally say "well that wouldnt have happened" or "lemonys an unreliable narrator hes just trying to make them look bad" about any piece of canon that u dont like. in this essay i will be explaining why eswell is real and canon and true and how lemony snicket hates lesbians

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Cute little rainbow heart for pride month tumblr but how about you stop disproportionally banning trans women and marking sfw queer posts as mature