"Victory whiskey, Juliet!"

A seriously underpaid architect of words.

[revoltingchild]

[mxlabradorite]

I will reblog this every Christmas season I’m on tumblr.

[drunkygoesonadventures]

It’s beginning to look a lot like shit scram

[epicmurdock]

I really hate it when parents of autistic kids use phrases like “I know they’re in there.” Bitch they’re right in front of you! You haven’t lost them! They’re not locked away like a final boss in a video game!! This is your child As Is! Love them for who they are not what you wish they would be! Fuck!

[kari-izumi]

OP you are right and you should say it 👍

[butterflyinthewell]

Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish followers. May the next several days bring you light and blessings.

[thr0atmistress-deactivated20191]

The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.

[curlicuecal]

That’s why they perceive it as a personal attack— because your boundary encroaches on space they’re used to owning: eg, yours.

[lastoneout]

My girl Alex is out here exposing all of the shit that no one says about congress and I am LIVING for it

[gif87a-com]

Found a well in italy with a nice echo. Missing this trip already. [x]

[plushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

How does it feel to wake up everyday and know you can snap like that

[thatdisasterauthor]

Damn. If I was on that street I would’ve just frozen.

[duchessofyetiville]

She’s like a siren

[90377]

Rothirsch - red deer - Cervus elaphus by Olaf Kerber

[plutomeetsgenius]

You saw the god of the forest and you took pictures?

[my-abibliophobia]

Review of the book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cody O’Brien.

To sum up this book in a single sentence - “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”

Yeah, this guy-

Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY 

The Greek creation myth.

The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.

The story of the Minotaur. 

NORSE MYTHOLOGY

Norse creation myth.

Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.  

EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY

Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff. 

How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.

MAYAN MYTHOLOGY

How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail. 

CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY

How God made Eve from Adam’s rib. 

The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct. 

HINDU MYTHOLOGY

Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.

And this is how he does it. 

JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY

The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan. 

A story about Tanuki.

AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.

NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?

[theseancequeen]

I have this book. I’ve read it about ten times and I love it.

[snarkymonkeyprime]

@systlin

[marzipanandminutiae]

This guy has a whole website

It’s called Better Myths, and it is a GIFT

[between-stars-and-waves]

I need this book!

@infernoking @d20-darling @askkakuro @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @windows-operating-system

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“Daedalus, who is a fantastic genius inventor with no sense of right and wrong…”

I lost it at that line :D

[avi-why]

every writing tip article and their mother: dont ever use adverbs ever!

me, shoveling more adverbs onto the page because i do what i want: just you fucking try and stop me

[quarter0master]

May I add something, because I will never shut up about this book (Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark):

[jackironsides]

Finally, some good fucking advice

[orphicmuse]

[buzzfeed]

[bunney]

[federalbureauofislam]

minimalist decor is so overrated! like put a plant in there bitch! steal ur ex friend’s baroque painting! install a stripper pole!

[raisel-the-riveter]

so I’ve been meaning to put this on tumblr and keep forgetting but, in the campaign I’m running my sister is playing an orc fighter, and one of the options you can pick for a fighter’s signature weapon is that it “glows in the presence of [fill in the blank].”

I was like, “oh, that’s funny because it’s a reference to that sword in The Hobbit that glows in the presence of orcs. Your weapon probably doesn’t glow in the presence of orcs.”

to which she responded, “FUCK YEAH it does.”

So now we have in the party an orc fighter with a club that glows in the presence of orcs. Or, as far as the character is concerned, a club that glows. It’s been in her family for generations since some ancestor won it in a battle, and it’s just always glowed. She has a sack to put it in when she’s trying to be stealthy.

[batneko]

#orcs in LotR don’t know that Sting doesn’t glow#that is crazy#they think elves and hobbits just carry glowing swords#for the Aesthetic#and if you know enough elves that probably makes sense to you!#sparkly drama queens would probably make their hair glow if they could

[luna-y-llueve]

🔮💭 💬📟📞✉💻📱📝📷🔮

A spell to make someone think of you and contact you in whatever way they can

Likes charge, reblogs cast

[kassasaurus-rex]

in tonight’s edition of very specific kinds of people i can’t fucking stand:

 men who drive fucking gigantic shiny pickups that they obviously just have as ego-boosters who fucking tailgate you on an empty stretch of freeway at night and they’ve replaced their headlights with fucking military-grade 500 proton scatter billion lumen searchlights that they fucking utterly blind you with while honking for you to get out of your lane because they just desperately have to go a full 40 miles over the speed limit or their dick will just jump clean off their balls and hurl itself out their window in shame

[rsbenedict-deactivated20181216]

From Wikipedia:

Nuestra Señora de la Santa Muerte (Spanish for Our Lady of Holy Death), often shortened to Santa Muerte, is a female deity or folk saint in Mexican and Mexican-American folk Catholicism. A personification of death, she is associated with healing, protection, and safe delivery to the afterlife by her devotees. Despite condemnation by the Catholic Church, her cult has become increasingly prominent since the 2000s.

The worship of Santa Muerte is condemned by the Catholic Church in Mexico as invalid, but it is increasingly firmly entrenched in Mexican culture.

Santa Muerte is also seen as a protector of homosexual, bisexual, and transgender communities in Mexico, since many are considered to be outcast from society. Many LGBT people ask her for protection from violence, hatred, disease, and to help them in their search for love.

Her intercession is commonly invoked in same-sex marriage ceremonies performed in Mexico. The Iglesia Católica Tradicional México-Estados Unidos, also known as the Church of Santa Muerte, recognizes gay marriage and performs religious wedding ceremonies for homosexual couples.

Man how did I not know about this magical gay skeleton queen until today?

[gynandromorph]

ADHD is only motivated by 5 things: -urgency -challenge -novelty and play -interest -being a contrarian little bitch