Nerd Dutchess

A collection of silly things from a leftist witch in the emerald city.

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 8

[mysecretlittletmblr]

You gotta watch this one the whole way through.

[catboybiologist]

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

[catboybiologist]

The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao

[catboybiologist]

"It's much cheaper to just buy this size of wood and take it to your table saw" WHAT FUCKING TABLE SAW

[kaiasky]

the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."

[lumsel]

#1. go to local gay bar 2. find group of 50-60 yr olds. 3. ask if anyone has a table saw 4. watch eyes light up

[boomerdacat]

With this four step plan you get a place to practice woodworking with optional sex with some older men

[gaycodedvillainy]

For anyone wanting it, they can cut your material for you at most Home Depots if you need it

[knitmeapony]

But can I have sex with older men there

[knitmeapony]

I am never leaving this site

[bold-baddie]

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[anyroads]

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

[merlinmumbles]

Okay but who's the one human actor playing?

[literary-potato]

I vote Nobody, but I could see arguments for Helen of Troy or Circe as well.

Also important:

How does the Circe turning men into pigs thing get handled given that Miss Piggy is a pig-Muppet and there are multiple other muppets who are already canonically pig-Muppets?

They get turned into real live action pigs, nobody remarks on it

They get turned into real live action pigs & Piggy looks directly at the camera

They get turned into chickens

They get turned into live action humans

Nothing happens at first to the guy Muppet-pig, so Circe has to get creative

Other/I’m bald/vanilla extract

Voting ended onJul 30

Just to clarify my vision on a couple of these:

* by chickens I mean Muppet-chickens à la Camilla (Gonzo naturally would have some reaction to this)

* in the “nothing happens at first to muppet pig”, what I’m visualizing is that Cpt James Pork (or whatever his name is - the pigs in space one) is in the crew, everyone else in the crew gets transformed into either live action pigs or non-sentient Muppet-pigs (walking on 4 legs, etc), and he is completely unchanged… until Circe sighs and snaps her fingers again, and he turns into some other animal (maybe a chicken? or possibly a live action human, in which case it’s obviously either an INSANE celebrity cameo pull with someone who’s normally top billing, or literally William Shatner)

[literary-potato]

Can I just say I really appreciate that our collective commitment to the Muppets is so strong that at 120-something votes, not one person has chosen other/vanilla extract?

[gardengarlic]

Every time this crosses my dash there's a different string of comments and they are all gold so I'm consolidating.

[amuseoffyre]

Circe - only human in the film, played by Anne Hathaway! - turning the pig muppet crew into humans and Miss Piggy gasping "You monster!"

[meglyman]

Oh my god the fucking Onion

[mclennonyaoi]

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

[anarchycatss]

[egberts]

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

[depsidase]

[bigtittygothmom666]

[peach-pot]

anyone wanna guess what this doesthedogdie tie is for?

[peach-pot]

thaaaat’s right!

[peach-pot]

this is kind of a gold mine

[depsidase]

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[sadclowncentral]

we had a true lost in translation moment with flag signalling today

some background: the international code of signals is used as shorthand for communicating important information between vessels until this day. everyone carries a flag alphabet for this purpose and you can raise flags separately or together to indicate conditions and requests.

so when my crew mate informed me that the navy boat we were passing had two signal flags up i asked him to relay me the message because i was busy downstairs.

here is what he saw through the binoculars:

the flag on the left is Alpha (I have a diver down; keep well clear at slow speed) and the right one is Bravo (I am taking in or discharging or carrying dangerous goods.) the vessel most likely had clearance divers out to remove underwater explosives and wanted other's to steer clear.

however, my beloved crew mate only vaguely recalled that Alpha stands for divers and Bravo stands for dangerous. so imagine my surprise when they hesitantly relayed that

"the navy...wants us to know that their divers know how to fight?"

[soundoftheirwings]

A good fictional character needs to go through all of these sequentially in their narrative arc

[hypokeimena]

[image description: screenshot defining the word fey /fā/ (adjective)

Overrefined, exaggerated, or affected.

Effeminate.

Having or displaying an otherworldly, magical, or fairylike aspect or quality.

Having visionary power; clairvoyant.

Appearing touched or crazy, as if under a spell.

Fated to die soon. /end description]

[sprintingowl]

Stone Shall Bleed

Foolishly spent like half a year making this 300 page ttrpg.

Anyways it's a pulp supernatural game where you're an ancient stone creature that walks by night and has a complicated relationship with mortals.

Try to protect the people around you without ending the world.

Other features:

Simple d6 pool

36 types of immortal stone creature powers

100 page bestiary

Two scenarios and one campaign

Optional tactical and solo rules

Masks, aspects of your personality that fracture

Stone Shall Bleed by kumada1

Deathless Statues And Deadly Peril

[sprintingowl]

Bumping this even though I have accepted in my heart that this is not gonna be my game that sells lmao

I *do* think it's a fun system, though.

It's pulp, it's goth, it's a 90s cartoon, it's brooding about alienation and belonging, you can elbow drop a cyborg off of a low orbit satellite and into the streets of your city, the game as a whole is angrier about how much more militarized the world has become since the 90s than I was really expecting, the dice system is just roll some d6s and see if you get 5+.

[eleilinnrallin]

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

[newtsoftheworldunite]

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

[kimberlychapman]

Or this preferred Tumblr announcement system:

[oneheadtoanother]