IGuesstheCoffeeisViolentNow

Why is the coffee violent? Random word generators, that's why.

[heartpeacenquiet]

It's okay if it takes a little longer than you thought.

[mlpoutofcontext]

[mlarayoukai-archive]

[dictearchive]

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh had a fun little idea for an overly ambitious comic but Artfight starts tomorrow and I gotta kill my friends with hammers (draw their funny little guys) So I'll talk about it here and come back to it later. So. We Start with an Alien Princess declaring that Robin will be her groom.

"Yep, that's young just us. You're probably wondering how we got here." the Impulse Text Box says over a group shot of YJ.

We flash back to Tim and Kon hanging out. Bart speeds in like "Hey I found my space ship. You wanna get Young Justice back together?"

and Kon says "Bet."

We cut back to YJ in the Royal Hall of this Alien Princess. "Yeah, that's about it" says the text box.

Tim's like "Your Highness, I'm flattered truly, but I have a boyfriend"

Somewhere in the back Ray is like "Wait was anyone going to tell me that Robin's gay too?"

and Cassie's like "Well first of all, he's bi, and second of all, Too???" and Ray's like "I've been gay since 2017, read a comic"

The Princess considers Robin's words.

"Very well, your boyfriend will battle against a warrior of my choosing to see who gets to marry you💖 " and with the snap of her fingers, Bernard is there in the Royal Hall, pouring brownie batter onto the floor.

Bernie, lovely lovely Bernie. is a civilian. he's kind of buff and is great with a sledge hammer. but the Princess brings out this huge fucker. So YJ is scrambling to figure out how to remedy this situation.

and Tim's no help because his IQ drops dramatically when Bernie is in the vicinity. so Cassie has to step up. She convinces the princess that Earth has its own courting customs or whatever and she should respect Earth's customs and allow the opponent to choose how this battle goes down and the princess agrees.

That is how this ends up as a sort of sequel to the baseball arc from YJ98, but instead of baseball, it's a Hell's Kitchen Chopped Food Network Challenge Style Food Competition where each team has to make three dishes and the judges decide if Bernard gets to marry Tim or not.

[dickgraysonsptsd]

i like fanworks where dick is closer with the batsiblings than he is in canon but like generally speaking he's really busy and self-isolating and they have to break into his apartment or call him for backup to see him. like in post-crisis canon. even timmy who is his little purse dog doesn't spend half as much time with dick as you'd expect. the titans barely see him unless they're backing each other up or are on a team together at the moment which is half of why they keep manically reforming the team every three years (so they can actually hang out). post-crisis dick is not the person keeping the bats together (that's tim) or scheduling family hangouts (that's not really any of them on any kind of regular basis) he's spending 18 hours a day minimum working and nightwinging and somehow squeezing even more time out of the day to fix his neighbor's water heater and do six other good deeds and then he's getting shot again

[morepopcornplease]

fake Goncharov fans don’t even realize that Scorsese did NOT direct the 1973 cult classic. he was executive producer. 🤦‍♀️

The actual director is Natted JWHJ0715, and they deserve credit!!!

[onstoryladders]

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

[official-lucifers-child]

[bearcosmic]

Tim, walking into the Batcave and noticing everyone’s distraught appearance: What’s wrong?? Who died??

Stephanie: We have bad news Tim. You should sit down.

Tim: Oh shit did someone actually die?? Who was it this time?

Dick: Remember that civilian that we catch trailing after us every so often? The one who was involved in the Penguin incident awhile ago?

Tim: Oh. Clarissa O’Neal? What about her?

Damian: She was taken hostage by one of Black Masks henchmen. We didn’t make it in time to save her.

Tim: ? And that’s why you guys are so upset? C’mon guys lighten up, it’s movie night

Jason, getting visibly pissed: What the Fuck dude. A civilian we were close to fucking died because we didn’t make it in time

Dick: I know you didn’t like her much but show a bit of empathy Timmy. You usually take these situations seriously

Tim: I’ve been trying to kill her off for ages. Why would I be upset??

Steph: Tim you have 10 seconds to fix your attitude before i fix it for you

Jason: Since when do you take people’s lives so lightly? Dude you need to leave before I do something i regret.

Tim: I didn’t know you guys were so attached to her. I could revive her if you want, but honestly it’s more effort than it’s worth. And she was getting unwanted attention from the rogues so she had to go.

Damian: Revive?? Timothy what are you on about? And why are you saying that like you personally set up her demise?

Tim: Because I did? The planning for it took forever but I have to admit everything went a lot better than I was expecting.

Dick: TIM WHAT—

Jason: WHAT THE HELL—

Damian: MURDER? You?!

Steph, screaming over everyone else: WAIT SHUT UP

Steph: TIM NO YOU DID NOT

Steph: TIM DON’T TELL ME YOU DID IT AGAIN

Dick: Again?!? What are you talking about?!

Steph, laughing: Guys calm down. HE was Clarissa

Tim: You guys didn’t know??

Jason: HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE HISPANIC LOOKING WOMEN IN HER MID TWENTIES AND A CRIME ALLEY ACCENT WAS YOU

Dick: Tim i am THIS CLOSE to burning down your disguise room.

Damian: Timothy explain yourself

Tim: I had an undercover op that I needed a female field agent for a couple years ago to infiltrate penguins operations. Over time She became a bit too important and Black mask was threatening her. So I decided to kill her off. I got the info I needed already and it was becoming a bit of a drag keeping up appearances

Steph: You need to stop getting us emotionally invested in your aliases and then killing them off. This is the fourth time you did this to me. I’ll never forgive you for Alvin Draper, I still grieve him even though i know you’re alive!

Tim: YOU guys need to start recognizing me in disguise. Worlds greatest detectives MY ASS

Jason: DUDE YOU GAVE YOURSELF DOUBLE D’s WHY WOULD WE ASSUME THAT WAS YOU

Damian: My training in this area has been neglected. Timothy show me your disguise lair

Tim: Sure, after movie night. Let’s go

Dick: This is gonna bite us in the ass. Damian is already so good at impressions. We will never know if someone we are talking to is him or not

Tim: LMAO When i’m done with him? Yea everyone’s fucked

Steph: It’s gonna give Roger from American dad

Bruce from the corner: *Breathes a sigh of relief*

Bruce at the Batcomputer: *Sighs and moves Clarissa O’Neal from ‘Real Civilian Death’ folder to ‘Tim’s Fake Identities’ folder. Creates new folder labeled ‘Damian’s Fake Identities’

[krakenkarel]

[thanatoskull]

i will never stop making these

[dictearchive]

lian harper and uncle hal 🪲💚

[dictearchive]

lian harper and her favourite boys 🩵❤️💚

[eunisyn]

"All this for lil ol' me?"

[andstuffsketches]

"Can't talk now, I've got to pose for gifs" -- Superboy, 1997

[dairy-free-miilk]

The boy who cried skateboard

[spect-era]

He makes me smile :)

[dictearchive]

little lian with uncle dick ⭐️

[clockwayswrites]

Bruce presses the back of his hand to his lip, feeling the cut sting in response. He should get some ice. Make sure the swelling isn’t so bad tomorrow that a teacher will feel required to ask. But he doesn’t want to get up. It’s cool there in the shade of the bell tower, even as the cicadas scream in the warm weather. There’s a peace to it.

A peace that is ruined by someone dropping to the ground next to him. Danny Masters. He’s a grade above than Bruce, but by age he should be two. Bruce has never spoken to the other boy before, but memorizing the student body at a place like this was easy. Danny stretches his long legs out in the grass before he holds out a plastic glove full of ice.

Bruce eyes it warily.

Danny shrugs. “Couldn’t find a plastic bag.”

Bruce doesn’t say anything.

“Look, I get it.”

Bruce scoffs. As if someone—

“I killed my parents too.”

—oh.

“Not just them. My sister. My best friends. They’re all dead because of me.”

Bruce stays quiet, but he takes glove full of ice and presses it hard against his lip. He ignores the way Danny is looking at him. Danny just hums. The sound mixes with the cicada calls.

“Bruce Wayne.”

“I know. Danny Fe… Masters.”

“I know,” Bruce replies.