I know none of us actually expect a Netflix series, but like if it happened it would actually be The Worst. I mean first of all they’d use all kinds of loopholes to pay the original creators as little as possible, and second imagine the sheer straightwashing they would do. The Dream SMP, for better or worse, is not like other media. They would try to “fix” it and end up ruining everything that makes it unique. It would be difficult to adapt too, there’s little chance they’d be able to capture the arcs of every character and even less chance that they’d even try. I’m going to use Quackity as an example.
What defines Quackity, first of all? He intentionally casts himself as a Mexican stereotype, but in a way that mocks the stereotype itself. He has a running bit of showing up nude and even refusing to wear armor during serious moments, being utterly blind to the sober mood of the place, offering drugs to minors, and just overall being inappropriate. Even so, he does have serious moments and a deeper character. He’s been through abusive relationships, he’s been betrayed, he’s put every fiber of his being into something only to find that he just isn’t enough multiple times, and he’s continued to be the cheerful, light-hearted comic relief.
They would break up the polycule right away, but Schlackity might just be homophobic enough to make it in. If it is, it will be done a hundred percent comedically, trivializing the problematic behavior and then give him zero development or negative effects afterward. Or, alternatively, they’ll go ahead and fetishize them because gay men are Hot Now and full-out romanticize the abuse.
They’d tone down his character just enough to make him unironically be a stereotype. He’d still use drugs and offer them to others, but he’d do so less obviously and they’d completely remove the nudity except for when it would be sexy for him to be shirtless, and once again he would be fetishized (as an exotic latino).
They would not put any effort into giving him an arc. He isn’t directly relevant to the main plot for most of the series, and they would JUMP at the chance to put someone else in the tunnel with Technoblade. Quackity would never get any of his serious moments, never be shown struggling or working for any goal other than that one time he was a corrupt politician. He’d be portrayed as a freeloader, a careless drug addict, and an idiot. An unironic and racist stereotype.
This isn’t even getting into what they’d do to Niki (swap out her frustration at being ignored and talked over by her male colleagues for heartbreak after losing Wilbur) or Will (erase all his meaningful character flaws). I know this is very pessimistic and it’s possible things wouldn’t go so badly, but I genuinely see this as the most likely scenario– a poorly done, straightwashed, two-dimensional cash-grab.
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