Kanade 💓

I'll be there for you when your wings break // Letting go of you, that's a heartbreak

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Intro post <3 !!

Hi, I’m Niyasha! You can also call me Kanade, as my blog’s theme is Yoisaki Kanade from PJSK, or Leo !! This will probably be updated at some point — wow did this take me forever to make lmao

About me : • My pronouns are she/her, but I wouldn’t mind being referred to as he/him or they/them ^^ • I am fourteen years old (8/25/2011) so if you are uncomfortable mooting up or interacting with minors, I won’t take it personally if you block me :) • I am bisexual, with pretty much a 50/50 preference for men and women, although I’d say I’m attracted to all genders :3. I am currently single, but am not looking to pursue anyone after the traumatic experiences I’ve had with my most recent partner, who was both my second ever partner and my first ever boyfriend. However, I am open to being pursued, but only if someone is emotionally mature enough and serious enough about me to be in a relationship • I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which significantly debilitates me. However, my disability is dynamic, meaning that my energy and ability levels can vary from day to day, hour to hour, so please be patient with me if I’m not able to be as energetic and quick to respond. I will post about it, as it is something that I have to live with, and have a lot of feelings about • I play the piano, violin, clarinet, guitar, on top of being a vocalist — music is literally my life • My dream is to become a k-pop idol. I have been professionally trained in vocals, dance, and rap for many years, and am moving to Seoul at the age of eighteen to pursue that dream 🤞 • I speak English, Bangla, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, and a bit of Russian and Ukrainian — I love languages, etymology, and linguistics !! • My mental health conditions are anxiety, OCD, autism, ADHD, bipolar, BPD, c-ptsd, and suspected NPD • I am ethnically Bangladeshi, and am very fond of my culture • I live in the U.S., specifically in the Northeast, in Pittsburgh, PA. My time zone is EST • In terms of political orientation, I am leftist. I do not agree with the idea of the rich and powerful having power over the majority, as well the current system in most countries, and would consider myself a free association anarchist. I do not post about it on this blog, but I do on my main account, @niyashaaa • I have high levels of empathy — I physically and emotionally feel what those around me are going through, and get easily burnt out because of it. Anyone is welcome to vent — my DMs are always open !! I truly do love being there for people when I am needed. However, I do have a deeply rooted savior complex and a people pleasing nature, and am trying to be less “responsible” over the people around me • I have very stereotypical “child prodigy” interests — I am like the first thing that comes to most neurotypicals’ minds when they hear “autistic savant” lmao, and my photographic memory doesn’t help. I love world history, biology, medicine, human psychology, classic literature, and many more areas of study. I love analyzing media and, for that matter, people, and am totally up for doing a critical breakdown over any shared media interests w any new friends !! ^^

Interests : ⁃ K-Pop ⁃ Project Sekai ⁃ Heathers ⁃ House M.D. ⁃ The Outsiders ⁃ Dead Poets Society ⁃ Demon Slayer

Ult groups (I stan more than 140, so I’d be hard to list all of the groups I stan lmao) : ⁃ ILLIT (Minju biased) - Stray Kids (Chan biased) - BABYMONSTER (Pharita biased) - idntt (deadass might be ot20 rn lmao) - TripleS (Chaewon biased) - aespa (Karina biased) - MEOVV (Narin biased) ⁃ ENHYPEN (unsure currently) ⁃ ZEROBASEONE (Jiwoong biased) ⁃ AND2BLE (Gyuvin biased) ⁃ ATEEZ (Hongjoong biased) ⁃ LE SSERAFIM (Chaewon biased) ⁃ I-dle (Soyeon biased) ⁃ BOYNEXTDOOR (Jaehyun biased) ⁃ NCT all subunits (Yangyang biased) ⁃ TWICE (Jeongyeon biased) ⁃ CLOSE YOUR EYES (Jingxiang biased) ⁃ UNCHILD (Haeun biased) ⁃ TWS (Dohoon biased) ⁃ IVE (Wonyoung biased) ⁃ Tomorrow x Together (Taehyun biased) ⁃ KiiiKiii (Jiyu biased) ⁃ ITZY (Chaeryeong biased) ⁃ XLOV (Haru biased) ⁃ TREASURE (unsure) ⁃ LOONA (and all ensuing groups —> LOOSEMBLE, ARTMS, + CHUU & YVES) (Chuu biased) ⁃ LNGSHOT (Ohyul biased) ⁃ Kep1er (Hiyyih biased) ⁃ izna (Unsure) ⁃ Red Velvet (unsure) ⁃ Hearts2Hearts (Carmen biased) ⁃ BTS (Jungkook biased) ⁃ SHINee (Taemin biased) ⁃ ALPHA DRIVE ONE (Sanghyeon biased) ⁃ Kickflip (Amaru biased) ⁃ KEYVITUP (Unsure) ⁃ P1HARMONY (Keeho biased) ⁃ KATSEYE (ot6) ⁃ NEXZ (unsure) ⁃ NMIXX (Lily biased) ⁃ Billlie (Tsuki biased) ⁃ AtHeart (unsure) ⁃ Santos Bravos (Kenneth biased) ⁃ &Team (Taki biased) ⁃ UNIS (Kotoko biased) ⁃ 82MAJOR (Yechan biased) ⁃ Saint Satine (Sakura biased) ⁃ RIIZE (Unsure) ⁃ RESCENE (Unsure) ⁃ Say My Name (Kanny biased) ⁃ SEVENTEEN (S.coups biased) ⁃ STAYC (Isa biased) ⁃ CORTIS (James biased)

I will block you if you’re : ⁃ T.R.A.S.H (Transphobic, Racist, Ableist, Sexist, Homophobic) — I think this one should be obvious haha, especially seeing as I am many marginalized groups (a queer, neurodivergent, disabled, 2nd gen immigrant woman of color) ⁃ MAGA, or identify as Republican or right wing (I can coexist with people with differing beliefs, but not these. If someone disagrees with my fundamental beliefs about the system, I simply cannot get along with them.) ⁃ A believer in “narc abuse” (I understand that those people are hurt and traumatized, but that is NO excuse for being ableist and adding another level of judgement to an already stigmatized personality disorder.) ⁃ Anti-paraphile (I completely support pro contact paraphiles, as I understand that paraphilic disorders are mental disorders that are out of one’s control, and highly respect people who choose not to act on such urges so as to not hurt children or animals.) ⁃ A TERF and/or a SWERF (I don’t think exclusionary feminism should qualify as feminism — in my opinion, you’re for all women, or you’re not a feminist. I would consider myself an intersectional feminist, and do not associate myself at all with radical feminists.) ⁃ An anti shipper (I would consider myself a proshipper, but not a darkshipper. I think that all fiction has the right to exist, whether you (general you) enjoy it or even agree with it at all, as fiction does not equate to reality and can be a healthy outlet for many people. To say that certain things are shameful and don’t deserve to be published is censorship and pushing a borderline fascist agenda — queer media will be next.) ⁃ Anti endogenic or willogenic systems (I am not plural, so I’m not sure if I should involve myself in syscourse, but what I do know is that I despise sysmeds. I am very anti-psych, based off of my own analyses as well as my own experiences, and I cannot respect someone who bootlicks the DSM knowing how flawed and exclusionary its criteria is. additionally, I don’t think ANYBODY has the right to say what experiences are valid or not — the human brain is such a fascinating thing, and I totally believe that a psychological phenomenon such as forming head-mates without trauma could totally occur !!)

[maluberi]

aaalmost 300 followers tag game !!

pls don’t flop sorry ik this one’s time consuming ……… do this picrew and this uquiz (what your soul looks like)!

@kaetteoide @kaetteoide @kaetteoide @kaetteoide @kiiangel @xiayuu @stqrrin @silentdvotion @bl00dy-snow @moribunniii @iryoukawa @emarterii @goredtears (hope it’s ok to tag u all >_< js ignore if not!)

[vivi-la-vida]

i no tagged but looks fun

tags: @sugar-and-spice-0801 @depressedwhimsicalchild @collin-thegreat @heavens-theif @wonllitz @m1lkypawz @bangchanssecondtoenail @tck-400 @sociopathy-in-its-finest @io4yang @losertimeboy @ebi-heartsalltheway @nyxcodedd @plkadawts @piensprincess @hyunjinlover-143 @virtual-angel-kanade @sonomartin @the-fall-of-ziggy-stardust @lee-fryer @dorichaes @ranboos-lesbian-memory-book @kittykori

[virtual-angel-kanade]

thanks for the tag, @vivi-la-vida !! <3

(open tags <3)

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Hai haiiii

Seongjoong mentioned 🥹🥹 matz my beloved <3

Hai haiiii !! :3

[virtual-angel-kanade]

woah, oh my god, i’m at 188 followers — it felt like yesterday that i made a post about reaching 100, and now i’m almost at 200 !! if anyone has any ideas about what i should do as a thank you when i hit 200, please lmk ! i’m so grateful for all of my followers, and know that 9/10 times i will follow back <3

[virtual-angel-kanade]

eeeeeeee thank you for the spammiesssssss ><

OFC MOOTIE 😼😼 you are very alpha sigma 🐺

[bloomingbloodybluebell]

loving to move but you're constantly dizzy or fatigued<<<<

[virtual-angel-kanade]

[personal rant incoming] I will always grieve what my POTS has taken away from me — I am a dancer, and have trained in the k-pop style for almost my entire life, but because of my chronic illness, there have been times where I’ve nearly had to give up my passion, my first love. I intend to follow through with my idol dreams — I’m stubborn, after all, and it is both my greatest strength and what could be my downfall (pun intended) — but it hurts knowing that I’m physically unable to sustain the same activities for the same amounts of time as my peers, and that I’ll have to work twice as hard to keep up. I love dance. I love ice skating, which I fell in love with as a kid as well. I love running. I have ADHD, and always need to be moving because of it. But I will never be able to do physically exert myself at the level I wish to without feeling the repercussions in my body. And it fucking sucks — even if I have accepted it, and I think I’m allowed to grieve. This post made me think of all of this, and made me feel really seen — oftentimes, chronic illness can be so isolating, especially when flare ups cause me to cancel plans and can get in the way of forming meaningful relationships with the people I truly do want to get to know — so thank for this, haha <3

[litttleprincess-deactivated2017]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

[trappedinmyoldways]

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk, my ask box is always open

[jaydove-writes]

Please reblog this. I don’t care what your blog’s theme or aesthetic is. This is important.

[whylee-wheeler]

This is important to reblog for yourself too, not just for others to see it. You never know when something could come up and if you need help it’s right there on your blog

[antichristxxxxx]

.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

[virtual-angel-kanade]

“I bit the apple 'cause I loved you, and why would you lie? And then I realized you're just as naïve as I am Oh, you're so traumatized, it makes me want to cry

You dumb bitch I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true I wanted to be you and do what you do I lived here, I loved here, I bought it, it's true I'm so embarrassed, I feel abused”

“And the worst part is I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true And sometimes I feel like I still fuckin' do I lived here, I loved here, I bought it, it's true I'm so embarrassed, I feel abused”

Mood right now thinking about him. I gave him my everything when I had nothing more left to give. And he lied to me. He used me. He threw me away like I was nothing. Did he ever love me? Maybe I’m being delusional, but I think we had a kind of relationship that he had with nobody else that he fucked over — after all, it was me that he sent the goodbye and the confession to. I think he loved me in some capacity, but not enough to step up for me. It hurts and I don’t know how to carry on after that.

@mydesiresangel @lee-fryer @wonllitz @vivi-la-vida @ebi-heartsalltheway @sayoriluver

[deltenner]

Tag game: languages!

I am bored so I’m starting a tag game!

what languages do you speak? Do you have just one first language/language spoken when you were little? Multiple? Do you still speak them? How about ones you learned later? Are you fluent? that sort of thing

I’ll start! My first language is English, but I’ve been learning Spanish for five years and counting and I consider myself mostly fluent (not native level by any means but I can read/listen/write/speak well enough, and my abilities there aren’t much worse than in English, though my vocabulary is definitely less robust). I know a bit of French from my mom and middle school, and can figure some other things out à la Spanish. I can also swear in six languages (I don’t but I could lol)

okay that’s all! Tagging All The People to start this off!

(As always if you want to be removed from the tag game master list please lmk I don’t want to annoy ppl lol)

@genderless-spiderlily @mekayk @lunar-l30 @ivysbea @phoenixrainsfire413 @strawbxrrypies @deyna-d @ashess0 @mellohithe-musicdisc @keyriingz @peskybirdonyx @bi-r-a-r-a @monster-of-the-margins @butterfly-teacup @teoda-hesperides-garden @rainbowfeather314 @starlitnight864 @multishipper33 @error-403-sammy @ghghghostt @cee-watches @unablebagel @aries0nmars @trafficjamming9 @vividcomet @iicor @raynilikescats @smallblueowl

:D

[vivi-la-vida]

i swear ive answered this before

ok so i speak english french and spanish

im fully fluent in english as we speak it at home even tho my mother tongue is vietnamese and cantonese

i started learning french 12 years ago at school and still speak it to this day im suprisingly bad at speaking it tho

i started learning spanish like 3-4 years ago and im suprisingly good at it

a little bonus: i want to learn vietnamese, cantonese, mandarin, russian, korean, lwk thai and a bunch more

tags: @sugar-and-spice-0801 @depressedwhimsicalchild @collin-thegreat @heavens-theif @wonllitz @damsel-understresss @m1lkypawz @bangchanssecondtoenail @wonsade @tck-400 @sociopathy-in-its-finest @io4yang @losertimeboy @ebi-heartsalltheway @nyxcodedd @plkadawts @piensprincess @hyunjinlover-143 @virtual-angel-kanade @yuxriki @the-fall-of-ziggy-stardust @lee-fryer @dorichaes @ranboos-lesbian-memory-book @colas-must-die @kittykori

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Hi, I’m Niyasha, and I speak English as my first language, Bangla at home, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, and a little bit of Russian and Ukrainian :) <3

The languages I have started learning, but do not feel comfortable enough with them to list are French, Portuguese, and Mandarin hehe

(open tags for this !!)

[4everh4vnted]

Shoutout to POC Jirais. Shout out to Asain Jirais, to Hispanic Jirais, to Black Jirais, to Mixed Jirais, to multi-cultural Jirais, to Indeginous/native Jirais. Shout out to POC Jirais you guys need more love.

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Desi jirai here !! <33 POC and non POC jirais gotta stick together, amirite? :) <3

[angel-pd]

As celebration for hitting 300 followers(!!!), have an angel-pd bingo ^_^ rb with your score:3

[virtual-angel-kanade]

NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS ACC INSANE HAHAHA /pos

AND IM ALSO DYING MY HAIR RED SOON, SO THERE’LL ONLY BE ONE DIFFERENCE 😭

And even then, my empathy is still fucked up, just on the other side of the spectrum — I feel so much empathy that it can actually debilitate me :’)

Twin, where have you been 🥹🥹

[hpdamechan]

updated hpdamechan bingo.. feel free to do it in reblogs or asks if you want <3

[pinkandscary]

Ah, so close. My birthday is late winter/early spring, but I didn't mark it because it's always solidly spring by then where I live.

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Woahhh, we’re really similar hehe !! ^^

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Hello new moot I'm chi-chi or vani, nice to meet you :3

Hi Chi-Chi!! I’ve seen you around jiraiblr, but I’ve never actually interacted with you haha — it’s great to finally meet you !! :3

[pinkandscary]

So remember when I said that I was making a guide to help people struggling with SH care for their cuts? That's still happening, I'm just slow!

There are a few things we don't have enough data on yet, so if you have experience with beans, laffy taffy, bedrock, or infections, (or if you'd like to provide feedback for the guide) please fill out this form.

Beans, Laffy Taffy, and Infection

For pinkandscary’s guide to realistic cut care

If you don't have any experience with those things, and you don't want to provide feedback, you can still help by reblogging this post or sharing the form some other way.

You are under no obligation to fill out or share the form. Not reblogging this post doesn't make you a bad person.

[virtual-angel-kanade]

my face because i’m in an attention seeking mood 💔💔

Red hair era coming soon ?? Maybeeee ;)

[virtual-angel-kanade]

Not now kitten . . . daddy has to doomscroll jiraiblr first 😼😼

[virtual-angel-kanade]

HELP WHAT THE FUCK I PASSED OUT TRYING TO STAND UP (i’m okay my autonomic nervous system just sucks lmao) AND WOKE UP ON THE FLOOR TO MY CAT TRYING TO TAKE A NAP ON TOP OF ME 😭

Bro would absolutely eat my dead body if I died in the house . . . 💔 /silly /lh

Jokes aside, I was pretty upset about this because I’d been doing pretty well for a few days, so my cat did give me a little laugh and got me out of my head a lil <3 i love my amaru kitty 🥹

(side note : no fucking wonder I’ve been getting worse mentally and physically, as not only am I prescribed an antidepressant while being bipolar, but also one which can worsen POTS symptoms 💔 these six weeks before I see my psychiatrist again should be lovely…/sarc)