One of the worst realizations that I have ever made is realizing that all I ever wanted was to be loved by my parents. I never would've turned out like this if they just loved me unconditionally.

titsay
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Acquired Stardust
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@virtual-mint
One of the worst realizations that I have ever made is realizing that all I ever wanted was to be loved by my parents. I never would've turned out like this if they just loved me unconditionally.
Reblog if you will never. Ever. Use AI in your writing.
Apex Legends and Finding Meaning in Randomness
(Also published on my Substack.)
Apex Legends is a 2019 multiplayer online shooter game of the Battle Royale genre. 60 players in groups of 3 get dropped onto a map and must fight in a continually constricting circle until there is only one team standing (yes, it’s kind of like The Hunger Games). Like other online multiplayer games, Apex Legends has an esports league titled the Apex Legends Global Series, or ALGS for short. On the 18th of January, the ALGS’ fifth Championship Final took place, bringing in 20 of the world’s best teams to select a champion. I was watching it, along with a couple of friends.
There are many things that could be said about the ALGS, from issues with the game itself to more recent Saudi interest and funding, but in the interest of keeping this essay short, I will focus on one particular aspect: what the gamers call RNG. RNG is an abbreviation for “random number generator” and it refers to the “random” elements within a game like Apex Legends. When a player lands on the map at the beginning of the game, there is a number of elements that are determined randomly based on some rules - mainly when it comes to in-game items (or loot, as they’re often called) and the movement of the circle that teams are meant to stay inside of. This can greatly affect the outcome of the game, as the quality of one’s equipment and the distance they have to travel, among other things, can greatly change the experience one has in a match.
And it’s this randomness that can be quite contentious for an e-sport like the ALGS. This amount of variability match-to-match is difficult to imagine in other sports. It would be like an F1 driver getting a randomly generated car every race. Of course, it is not all random and a great amount of skill is required, from the gameplay itself to dealing with pressure and staying consistent within a set of 6 or more games. But it is true that, at the end of the day, tournament wins are often down to some amount of luck, especially with the Match Point system competitive Apex Legends employs in its finals. In short, this format says that players must gather 50 points and then win a game to claim the trophy. As long as no team with over 50 points wins, the games keep going.
Closing out a game once those 50 points have been gathered is much more a matter of chance than other aspects of the tournament. One infamous win by the Saudi-funded Team Falcons in the first ALGS tournament of 2025 was decided by one team mistaking another for the Match Point Eligible Falcons, and throwing away their position to thwart their win. This, of course, backfired, as Falcons were comfortably sitting elsewhere and swooped in to finish both teams off. This final game win was clearly not due to skill, though the Falcon players have proved to be skilled on other occasions, this time, they simply got lucky and took home the trophy thanks to it.
However, this randomness can also bring wonderful underdog stories, like in the case of ALGS’s 5th Championship Final earlier this month. After playing pretty consistently well for the previous 3 game days (with some ups and downs), it was team Oblivion who won it all. Composed of two veteran players, of which one was on the verge of retirement, and one until now relatively obscure player, they stood out among other arguably flashier teams with support and financial backing that Oblivion did not have access to. However, I will be the first to admit that they also got quite lucky. Oblivion managed to grab a good position at a crucial point in the game, vacated moments earlier by another team. The constricting circle ended up moving in a different direction than many teams expected, and in the ensuing scramble for good positions, many of the other teams that were on Match Point got taken out. Though it is important to highlight that the Oblivion players also showed their skill in the final minutes of the game, making a number of important calls and plays that paved their way to the win.
Despite the knowledge that it came down to some amount of luck, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling emotional, believing that this was a really deserved win. Oblivion deserved to hold the trophy after years of trying, moments when they got really close and delivering consistent results in previous game days. My personal knowledge of the two veterans’ stories also contributed to this, as one, Monsoon, being a pillar of the community with an inspirational story behind him, and the other, FunFPS, having been on a team that I supported years earlier, are both close to my heart. Being the first trio to win a large tournament without the backing of an esports organisation, they also showed that success is achievable for those with limited resources.
So, yes, I can acknowledge that Oblivion’s win was to some degree due to chance. I can also acknowledge that it made me feel happy and that I find this win meaningful, giving me hope that there is still some good fortune and fairness for the good and kind people of this world, rather than just the mean and ruthless with lots of money. No matter how many times Saudi-funded teams with asshole players win and make me question my support of this e-sport, they can never take this away from me.
express yourself in whatever form feels right at the moment; don’t squeeze it all into just one form.
don’t force things where they don’t fit.
An imaginary, ever-present yet unnamed narrator: Ah yes, the four love languages…
Narrator, pointing at Julian: “My family never told me they were proud of me”
Narrator, pointing at Miles: “I’m so fucking tired please god just let me rest for five minutes”
Narrator, pointing at Jadzia: “Pay attention to me”
Narrator, pointing at Nerys: and touch-starved.”
there's something about mirrorverse Julian that makes me wanna go feral but you didn't hear it from me
JULIAN BASHIR in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is TRANS! ♡
i’d follow him to hell and back but i wish he’d just stop going there
I had to paint the funky little android
(click for higher quality, reblog dont repost)
nonchalantly brings up something I've been obsessing over for multiple months as if it just occurred to me right at that moment
“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”
Dude about to make haikus:
“Oh you haven’t heard?”
fuck you
The first line is six syllables.
THIS
POEM
DOES-N’T
RHYME
That’s 5 syllables
Poem is two syllables. Po-em.
Poem is ONE syllable, who the fuck uses two syllables to say poem?
What the fuck are you on about? Literally just say it out loud. Po-em. One syllable would be like Pome.
“Pome” IS how you say it you neanderthal. Who the fuck says PO-EM?
“pome” is how you say it you neanderthal who the fuck says po-em
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Disappointing each other includes you. | PayPal | Patreon
"Testosterone soon"
A sigil to help transmascs bring T to them
I added the inscription "Testosterone soon" in Elder Futhark because I am a Norse Pagan but it's not necessary! Feel free to use!
you’re crying. you just found out that buzzfeed unsolved is ending in 2021 and you’re crying.
still can’t stop thinking about that one eurovision moment
he GETS it
Can we talk about how the top 3 battle was a battle between the alt gays, the retro gays and hipster lesbians