"...in the parade of the life of the mind."

[mushabon]

Employer: “Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?”

Me:

[thebearcametoo]

I love this because you could mean anyone in th picture, including the bear.

[mushabon]

You made this 1000x better

[echoesintheemptiness]

That’s the Beast

[jeffgoldblumss]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[pembrokewkorgi]

@ihatejonarbuckle

[aeonchangeling]

@raeloganthesonic06fangirl

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Well, I mean, Garfield does care

Anyone who’s ever owned a cat knows that they have thier own ways to show they love you

An often overlooked thing about Garfield is between the snark and schemes, he’s really a loving kitty

I guess these aren’t as memorable as the wackier strips

But Jon can always count on Garfield to make him smile when it really matters

And Garfield knows that Jon cares

I swear, my cat is the same way, the below picture is an accurate portrait of how it is to have a dog and cat the same time.

Theory accepted

[nightf4iry]

wholesome

[lennythereviewer]

It’s rare to see Garfield content on Tumblr that isn’t “Jon is a heartless monster” or “Garfield is some eldritch horror”

[just-shower-thoughts]

A werewolf film written by a woman wouldn’t be as interesting because they know how unrealistic it is to be caught by surprise by something that happens regularly every damn month.

[uswe]

#run right into queue#no no no no no the exact opposite#by this standard a werewolf film written by a woman would be much more interesting because it would be more /varied/#some werewolves who are prepared not only for their own shift but also for those of six of their closest packmates#some werewolves who wake up already covered in fur and look at their ruined clothes and think ‘oh /shit/ that was yesterday’#some werewolves who can’t be assed to figure out what day it is and therefore have an alert set in their phone#so that once a month they wake up not to a blinking ‘wake up’ message but to ‘wake up and Be Prepared’ and dramatic hyena music#(and then inevitably lose/break/forget to charge their phone the day before and spend hours humming uncomfortably#before suddenly remembering at the least convenient moment possible and rushing off stripping as they go)#not to mention the one werewolf who only transforms one night a month and then has to refrain from gloating#while they help their one packmate who’s been shifted for an entire goddamned week and has started dreaming of murder (via @ereborne)

[squirrelstone]

And then there’s that werewolf who goes three full moons without transforming, then transforms one night during a waxing crescent moon.

[fangirltothefullest]

Now I’m imagining some on the werewolf form of the pill and having to regularly keep up their schedule and one werewolf telling another that they used to have such irregular changes but the pill now makes things so much easier and the other werewolves being like oh man I should talk to my doctor about this.

[awellboiledicicle]

All i imagined is some poor fucker that’s like “you think you have it bad. I got my first change at 9 and change sporadically every 4 months or so. For 2 weeks. Sometimes it happens randomly so i just gave up.”

[nannyoggskitchen]

   #for days before the change you’re extra growly and constantly want to go for walkies  

[pedeka]

@writernotwaiting

[malicemismanager]

Why. Is this not a thing already. Why.

[angstriddentrashhuman]

Wake up pissed and agitated with a headache and slam some aspirin with no real thought to the matter because it must just be a shit day. Halfway through the day they just “…oh shit that explains so much fuck fuck fuck”

[thesummoningdark]

Switch to a new kind of transformation control and spend the next three months awkwardly half wolfed-out

[kaity--did]

Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.

It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.

Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire

This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.

Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.

Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!

Happy Haunting!

[kaity--did]

Dad has no fricken clue how to trash talk and I don’t trust him in the slightest.

[kaity--did]

The saga continues. Mom hasnt finished the village yet and it’s starting to get to her….

[oldearthcartography]

Hahahaha, I mean I love this on multiple levels.  But what really threw it over the top was the mom’s anxiety over the world-building and city design being right.  I feel you vampire-hiding mom, I feel you.

[edwardslovelyelizabeth]

Anne Hathaway photographed by Mert Alas for Interview Magazine (2011)

[sosuperawesome]

Handmade Bags

Hide And Geek Leather on Etsy

See our #Etsy or #Harry Potter tags

[puncromancer]

mood ring contact lenses

[wrathbite]

this reads like a shit post but honestly this slaps

[eartharchives]

Scientist's accidental discovery makes coral grow 40x faster

There might be hope for our oceans, thanks to one clumsy moment in a coral tank.

It typically takes coral 25 to 75 years to reach sexual maturity. With a new coral fragmentation method, it takes just 3.

[spiroandthelacktones]

!!!!

[gendernihilistanarchocommunist]

[sashayed]

My coworker sent me this insane Gwyneth Paltrow jewelry ad this morning and it FUCKING H A U N T S me. SPOILERS, but I have so many questions. Is the husband just in space or is he dead? I mean, he’s dead. If you took away that jaunty French music it would be obvious that he is definitely super dead. How many of those CASSETTES are there? Putting aside how spooky it is, just visually (Does Alice ever have people over? Do they just pretend to ignore that she has this CRAZY PERSON BOOKSHELF full of HAND-LABELED CASSETTE TAPES like some Martha’s-Vineyard Fox Mulder??), that must have taken literal days of his life. Locked in the bathroom for an entire week like “DON’T COME IN HERE, ALICE, I’M BUSY.” How long ago did he go to space if CASSETTE TAPES were considered an acceptable way to record audio when he went up? He has been in space for 20 years. He is dead. What is Alice’s life now? She just wanders around her giant, spotless 900 million dollar house, imprisoned by her own privilege and the ghost of her former life. Drawing the same three drawings over and over like the kid from “The Ring.” Drinking juice from a carafe with an EMPTY GLASS on the other side of the table, presumably so she can imagine her dead space husband is there. “Drink up, darling,” Alice says lovingly, reaching into the empty air to cup an imaginary bristled cheek. “You haven’t touched this delicious guava-lavender balancing tea I brewed for you, and you must get your vitamins before you go to space.” Also, she has a picture of HERSELF next to her picture OF HIM, instead of a picture OF THEM, together, which makes me wonder: is Gwyneth Paltrow’s character “Alice” at all?? Is this like that astronaut love triangle where the one astronaut attacked the other one???? Did Gwyneth murder Alice while her husband was in space, and now she pretends to live Alice’s life????  “Alice has been such a recluse since Roderick went to space in 1996,” Alice’s friends say, not realizing that Alice has been mummifying in the charming 18th century icebox in the servants’ kitchen since 1996 and Gwyneth is the new Alice. “We’re so happy together, aren’t we, Roderick,” Gwyneth croons to her tape player, wrapping her arms around her own torso, swaying dreamily before the full length mirror, wearing nothing but Alice’s special 20-year-old surprise necklace and a wig made of of Alice’s hair. I love this commercial so much. 

[just-chilln]

[killerchickadee]

You kiddos have no idea how groundbreaking this was. Like there’s a reason THE lesbian website for a billion years was called After Ellen. She changed everything.

[aleph-none]

oh man you know that feeling that’s like kind of an ache right between your heart and your stomach? like nostalgic knowing of pain? that’s how the scared look in Ellen’s eyes makes me feel.  

[auntiewanda]

Look at her hand too and how nervous she is. Every gay and lesbian person knows this feeling, because we know there are assumptions and consequences and there’s no telling how someone will react.

[gayheretic-deactivated20190804]

And let no one forget that she suffered consequences for this. It wasn’t just a moment of cathartic unburdening and then business as usual.

[auntiewanda]

Right, she lost her first TV show. She worked hard to get up to where she is today.

[the-wasp-prince-deactivated2023]

You can see the moment where she’s like “I can’t just like and make up a name. I can’t just pretend that the person I felt a deep connection with doesn’t exist.”

[pon-raul]

y’all hear about this Payless shoestore prank ???

fucking wild levels of hilarious

[pon-raul]

why are rich people like this lmao

[priceofliberty]

“Palessi” sold about $3,000 worth of shoes within a few hours and, after the shoppers paid, staffers told them that the shoes were actually from Payless, according to AdWeek, which reported on the event Wednesday. “They are elegant (and) sophisticated,” one shopper described her purchase as, in a Payless video posted on YouTube.

Then, the woman, who Payless says is a real person not an actor, was told the shoes actually were the handiwork of Payless. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said.

Another shopper, this one a man, said about his purchase, “I could tell it’s made with high quality material.”

Payless refunded the shoppers their purchase prices and plans to use the video testimonials, already available on YouTube, as commercials on social media and TV.

Source

[eggorf]

rich people have no idea what anything is worth

[30000fps]

[moami]

what, with all due respect, the absolute fuck

[insomniac-arrest]

Porn bots evading being flagged by tagging their posts as ‘SFW’ is the funniest shit I can think of 

Like that is some Looney Tunes ‘hiding under a lampshade’ level ridiculousness and it works

[tr3velyan]

only 90′s kids will remember

[chickenissiriat]

what the fuck is e.

[eurydixe]

I am horrified that I recognise all of this how long have I been on this hell site

[dankmemeuniversity]