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@voidanima
If anyone doesn't know how to interact with kids or middleschoolers, my best advice is to simply ragebait them at every opportunity. While they will get frustrated with you, this also endears you to them and now you're buddies with them. This even works with preschoolers.
Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.
Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.
i’ll be honest learning about behaviour modification and canine psychology has really helped me process my own feelings and emotional responses
i find so much therapy talk aimed at humans has too much flowery abstract prose about mindfulness or whatever but for myself I really prefer an approach focused on hard science and what biochemical processes are responsible for me feeling this way, especially anxiety. Also why i prefer listening to lectures given by psychologists or counselors made for other fellow psychs and counselors.
But yeah I feel like there’s lessons anxious humans can take home from anxious dogs
reactiveness is usually the product of fear and unconfidence
when something becomes too overwhelming slow down, add more distance
every time you practice an avoidant behaviour it gets more ingrained and will take more effort to beak the habit once it has been well established.
try refocusing on something else when you feel yourself starting to get worked up over something
progress is slow and if you think you can fix things overnight you are setting yourself up for disappointment
don’t only correct mistakes, actively give praise as well
Physical exercise
not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone
best trope: "ugh I guess I'll tolerate you for the time being, but this is a conditional, tactical alliance, and the second I get what I want, we're parting ways" to "you are the only good in the world and I will protect you to my dying breath"
Since Google is useless now I propose the new phrase "Wikipedia is free" when someone tries to derail a post they know jack shit about
avril lavigne’s outfits in the 2000s
Denis Frémond (French, b.1950)
"The World Without Ravel," 2019
Oil on canvas
120 x 120 cm
dang I gotta do something with my life
*does nothing* *does nothing* *does nothing* *does nothing*
I'm starting to go the opposite direction of all the "you're a literal baby infant until 25 bc your bwain is a baby bwain :(" shit
We should be treating teens as more adult than we do. I don't mean some lowering the age of consent creep shit, I mean presuming competence. Get a job, learn life skills, learn to cook, be fully responsible for a pet, walk places alone (in daylight) or with a friend, have intergenerational friendships, teach skills to littler kids, be someone people can trust with more than wiping their own ass. Be someone they themselves can trust to do stuff and go places. We're stealing children's confidence by treating them like they can't do anything. Treat them like they can and should do many adult things and more will find the confidence to practice at them.
Yes, the brain isn't finished growing when you're like 15. No, you shouldn't get treated like a preschooler till it is. The general experience of adulthood is like 90% practice 10% maturity I think. The maturity is needed but it doesn't account for much if you just do nothing.
YES. And with support! Teach your teens to make their own doctors appointments by sitting by them in case something comes up they don't know the answer to. Show your elementary schoolers how to cook a meal. Teach them how to read a map and guide you where they want to go. Kids are capable.
Your brain develops when you fucking use it, so let teens use their brains!
Everything here except 'get a job' because education is already a full-time job.
I say this as a person who did labor for money as a child and teenager and should not have had to.
And especially: *teach your kids, however small, what they can do in emergencies." That learning (because you trusted them with it as important) will sink deep into their brains and help them cope for the rest of their lives. They will know, from tiny times, what coping looks like. It'll lead them toward strengths they never knew they had.
When I was still nursing in NY and occasionally helped out our colleagues in ER, several times I saw small children who'd been taught what to do save their whole families from burning buildings by having been coached in how to use the phone to call for help and say what the trouble was, even when their parents and other older kids were unresponsive.
Teach your kids to rely on themselves, even when "people who'll tell them what to do if they're not sure" are unavailable. ...Because they may not always be available.
#I uh...ahaha...whut?#as a tween/teen in the 80s and early 90s that was EXACTLY what my life was LIKE#I am a little horrified to realize this is no longer common experience#it maybe does explain some shit but goddamn
Yeah, watching this pendulum swing has been wild as shit. College age kids who haven't been taught to do anything but sit there with their mouths open like baby birds, begging someone to put food in.
Which, tangentially, is why the current GenAI tool scams are working so well, because GUESS WHAT THOSE DO.
My mom bought a toy phone and played 911 with us a couple of times a week when I was 6 and my sister was 5. We'd wait in another room while she set up an "emergency", then she'd call for us and we'd come in, identify the situation, go to the phone and call 911, and roleplay the call with her as the operator.
Some "emergencies" I remember:
Barbie fell off her bicycle and is not moving
A fire in the kitchen trash can
Tyrannosaurus in the bath tub with its head under water
Tyrannosaurus hurt its foot and can't walk
Barbie got stung by a bee and can't breathe
Barbie is sleeping but we can't wake her up
Tyrannosaurus got hit by a car
We'd see the situation, identify that we couldn't solve it ourselves, rush to the toy phone and call 911 (actually 000 because we're not in the US), say our full names and address that we had memorised, where we were pretending the emergency happened (school, grandparents' house, the park) and why we needed help.
As a result, when my dad fell off a ladder and cut open his leg to the bone, my 8-year-old sister could call for an ambulance and probably saved his life.
*
Similarly, my nibbling is 5 and we're playing shopping for groceries. When I pick them up from kindergarten, I'll ask them what they want for dinner. Then we'll go to the grocery store and they'll get a kiddie cart and go around picking out what we need (and one treat for dessert, this is THE MOST serious decision), and at home we cook together.
The important part is giving THEM the choice of what they'll want to eat, letting them take ownership of their choice, and then assisting them in succeeding with their decision. Teaching agency to children is one of the most important tasks we have.
Yeah we are definitely at the "insane infantalization" equivalent to 3yo chimney sweeps and 6yo factory workers losing their fingers in machines
I've seen about 100 responses of "no no no no teens DON'T need jobs that's EVIL you want to take away all their RIGHTS" which is just. Utterly fucking borked as a concept, that folks think a teen making their own money and learning how to manage it is the same as the child exploitation that labor laws protect us from lmfao
The common reaction to minors having jobs is cartoonish in intensity. IIRC there was a state that had an extra layer of permission slip needed for teens to have jobs. No real protections to it, it was literally just an extra layer of red tape for minors.
So they decided to get rid of that and people's minds went straight to toddlers crawling in machinery.
And teens not having jobs is a big part of why shopping malls are dying; no kids with pocket money to buy things.
No money, not allowed to walk anywhere, no unscheduled free time, etc
"Education is a full time job" so no one here ever heard of summer? Also have we considered that education SHOULD NOT be a full time job and that making kids sit and labor over a pencil 8 hours a day is probably not as good for the developing brain as mixing it up with a few hours of real world work experience?
But then they wouldn't have a line to parrot
I think it's funny when people treat others like complete shit with zero remorse or apology then think being neurodivergent is going to excuse them especially on a website where that applies to nearly everybody. maybe you should hyperfixate on becoming a better person idk. stim on being kind even
"why does it have to always be about knights?" because there's nothing hotter than a hulking mass of metal who could kill me with a flick of his wrist but instead gets on his knees and trembles as he restrains himself from begging for my touch. i'm not going to get that from some fur trader or councilor, am i?
he's a demon, he's a devil, he's a doll ❤︎
(hey guys im also using this as an application post for my vgen, you can find me here! any interaction is super appreciated!! <333)
unironically i love this website and the people who post here because like 4% of them are even more pedantic and specialized in their knowledge bases than i am, and they are ALL HATERS. these are my people, sincerely. i support them uncritically even though all of us are REALLY annoying
Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this
still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here
