If you know me/think you know who I am, no you don't
(Not in a mean way just "I don't want to be seen on here" way never mention it to me ever)
Anonymous blog that started as a writing blog. Now it's a bit of a mishmash. Self expression, often unedited and done on mobile. Maybe discourse, maybe rambly posts, who really knows.
Quick rundown: Pro-ship, pro-endogenic systems, pro-kink, pro-sex work, pro being radically inclusive generally. Disabled (physically and mentally, though the distinction is not one we feel needs to be made), queer, tired. 25+ body. We block liberally but do try to be understanding and own up to mistakes.
Feel free to block for any reason. We try to respect DNIs, if they exist/are accessible for us, but don't really think stating one ourselves is worth it. If you want to interact, you will, a DNI isn't going to do much to stop people. If you don't want to interact because of our stances, you aren't going to anyway.
Info on us and what you may expect to find on this blog below the cut.
We are a plural system that prefers using headmate/fictive terms over parts/alters/introjects. Voices will not be given names, and are numbered in order of choosing to use this blog, not by how many are actually here.
Currently:
Voice 1 (They/It)
Voice 2 (She/Her)
Voice 3 (They/It)
Voice 4 (They/Them)
Voice 5 (He/Him, & any)
Voice: undisclosed (could be anyone, or a mix! Not necessarily a voice given a number.)
Unreality/Things of an otherworldly nature as if literal and as if really had happened
Dealing with reality, usually with hopepunk, but like, yikes
Fandomish stuff, maybe. Headmates/fictives being vague probably.
& more!
Any identifying info is not happening. If you think you know us no you don't. NDA this shit. Redirect your brain cells away from suspicion. If you browse thats fine but leave no trace, nature trail visit this place. Coincidences are just that, not even correlation. Or else.
(We'd probably just be embarrassed about being Known(tm) and kinda upset about some stuff being seen thats private but pretend I have a gun for the meme)
Thanks for coming to our ted talk, except psych, bonus ted talk of thoughts will be randomly added below
Anti-psychiatry. Yes we have a psychologist headmate, yes we are in therapy with a therapist who knows about us. Tear down the medical field and rebuild it brick by fucking brick without any brick not being seen to by someone it impacts. No one should be forced to have medical choices and bodily autonomy stripped like that.
As such, obviously, pro self-dx, because dx labels are like. a horrible mess. Half of it is different brands of slightly varied symptoms lining stuff up to see which eye glass you see through best at the eye doctor. Whatever's comfy yall. It's like trauma all the way down anyway. Yes for like, almost everything. Even the biological stuff is exacerbated by trauma. Life in our society is inherently traumatizing for 99.9% of people.
So like. Drugs. Relatedly. Addiction is a societal problem. Free supervised substance use sites is a public health issue. Stop jailing people (disproportionately BIPOC who are often then exploited as prison labor) for drugs. Stop villainizing them. Addicts should be supported, and you know what? If someone wants to do drugs sometimes, let em. They aren't a crime that forever marrs your immortal soul or some shit.
Opiod crisis. Pain relief seeking behavior being classified as drug seeking is costing lives, just give them the prescription. Also on this topic free healthcare. Abortion is an inherent right to bodily autonomy. Let someone trans their gender as much as they please so long as consent is informed. Also palliative care over life-prolonging care any day if the person wishes. Also physician's assisted suicide.
For the love of the vast void or whatever you believe in stop letting cops kill people. Stop letting cops. That's it end of sentence. Redirect funds to better serve the community. Cheer when the station goes up in flames. Also just because you're European doesn't mean you're free of the racism of the US.
More to be added when we feel like it. Also posts may get made abt these separately
“I know you listed your race, age, gender, and sexuality but how come you didn’t also list your triggers, your diagnoses, and your traumas?”
“If you’re shipping to cope, why don’t you tell everyone what you’re coping WITH?”
Ah, well, Entitled Randoms, that’s very simple. See, I’m an adult. A grown-up who votes and pays taxes and is getting a master’s degree. And I inhabit reality as well as social media. So, I don’t feel the need to violate my own privacy for the amusement and satisfaction of strangers.
Wait…okay so I agree with this post except for the DNI. Doesn’t that stand for Do Not Interact? My understanding is that DNIs are a list of groups or types of people you do not want interacting with you, and that’s not really personal information so much as it is…idk, a formal statement of hard boundaries.
I vibe hard with this post, I’m just confused as to why the DNI was included.
One, many people are now becoming pushy with blogs who do not have DNIs. As in, getting messages that say “Why don’t you have TERFs DNI anywhere on your blog? Are you transphobic? You’re transphobic if you don’t put it up”.
Secondly, most DNIs I see are highly performative and ineffective. “Fuck off nasties, you know who you are” and “DNI if you meet standard DNI criteria” or “Racists, homophobes, weirdos, etc, DNI”. See how vague those are? See how unhelpful that is?
Thirdly, DNIs do not work unless the other person respects them AND knows that the DNI applies to them. What the fuck does hypothetical fancop above mean by “nasties”? What the fuck is “standard” in these things? And any DNI that includes “etc” is fucked…because that could be anyone. And what fucking Nazi or violent TERF is going to look at some loud-mouthed 16 year old enby’s DNI and go “Darn guess I can’t cyberbully this easy target, they asked me to DNI”.
Fourthly, people have been using the accident violation of DNIs as grounds for harassment. Anti-shippers will send death threats to proshippers for reblogging their posts and saying things like “Why didn’t you check through my blog and read my 4.5 page DNI list and understand that Nasty Freak includes RoadRat shippers like you??? Anyway here’s a gore spam go cut yourself”.
Fifthly, there’s just a certain point when you have relinquish the illusion of control. Tumblr is a social media site where the aim is (usually) to spread posts beyond a small group of followers. When you post something publicly, you need to be prepared that sometimes, people you don’t like will see it. Worrying excessively will only worsen your anxiety, and the block button exists for a reason.
Essentially, I do not object to them as inherent concept, but they have been levied as a tool of control and social abuse on both this site and Twitter, and much like the carrd, those who decline to have one are now being treated with hostility.
I do not have a DNI because I don’t want one. That shouldn’t be problem, and yet, repeatedly, it is.
Should probably go sleep, should probably not be fronting. I've been doing too much of that. Tapping others in is such a pain, though, and the surgery took everyone out. First day back at work tomorrow, and everyone's still worn out and tired, but we can physically function and it'll only be four hours, at least.
Should probably go sleep, should probably not be fronting. I've been doing too much of that. Tapping others in is such a pain, though, and the surgery took everyone out. First day back at work tomorrow, and everyone's still worn out and tired, but we can physically function and it'll only be four hours, at least.
Recently, Corvidae from Twitter posted these screencaps from the ebook version of Transgender Mental Health by Dr. Eric Yarbrough, Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. I'll be buying a copy in the near future so I can copy and paste the text for accessibility purposes and not have just images, but for now, here's these:
It's quite interesting to see such explicit validation from a respected source.
my favorite romance trope is like. you dont want to hurt me but i am asking you to hurt me. i need you to stab me. i need you to carve this out of me. i need you to cut something off of me. this will hurt both of us in incredible ways. yours are the only hands i trust enough to weild this knife. you do not want to hurt me. i am asking you to hurt me.
Just had to take a moment to reassure my brain that my gumline being a bit wonky does not in fact, mean they just completely repositioned my wisdom tooth to be a regular tooth instead of yoinking it
Its 5am and I still haven't slept for those following along
Could be edgy and post self harm injuries or some shit but honestly not worth the effort and I don't have any fresh. And it's like. Not worth it. I'm doing better. I've been doing better. I want to bleed or scream and I can't get physical affection because everyone lives too damn far away but.
I've been doing better.
Needles, medical needles for syringes instead of knives. Rock pendant on a necklace string for bruises. That bruise has faded as of a few days ago.
Such a fascinating mix, when you approach self harm from a stance of harm reduction.
Like yeah I want to rip my skin to shreds but I'll use an alcohol wipe and gently stab it with a needle instead. Less risk of infection, of serious injury.
It hurts less than keeping it in
Safety measures create ease of access in some ways, but prevent real harm.
The choice isn't "harm or no harm" the choice is "do you reach for the needle or the knife?" And the needle is safer than the thoughts in your head screaming to be let out.
Hair, of course, though that's been said before. Bleached and dyed and beautiful, and oh so dead. Made pretty and purple, but the colors fading fast.
Fingernails, too. Painted to stop the biting, biting to deal with the painted pretend feeling.
Four wisdom teeth, though those are medical waste by now. I wanted to keep them. Just as I don't keep my nails or my hair, I wanted these. Dead, and yet, they ought belong to me.
Skin sheds, cells die. Remade again and again and what is death? The loss of what once was connected to your nerves? Those teeth hurt, they were causing pain, they had to go. I couldn't keep them, not even separate from myself. There was nothing pretty in them, but they were mine.
They had fused to my jawbone. The surgeon said what takes 5 minutes took an hour.
My body didn't want to let go. No matter how much it hurt.
What parts of me are dead, now?
The parts taken away, pruned for health. They may be pretty, for a time, but the risk of injury, infection, cannot be taken lightly.
What parts of me are dead, now?
Not my heart. Never my heart.
The dead growth protects that vital organ even as it hurts.
It melts off your skin like the shadows you walk in
Coats fresh paint over the lines you've carved
Tell me, tell me? Where is the beauty in perfection? Where is the story when the skin reflects imperfections not once? Where is the history, the proof of your life, when you've nothing to show?
Tell me, what do shadows dream of?
Tell me, does the darkness fear the sun?
Or does it view the bright, brilliant, burning light...
