My manager likes to set me loose on high-level company directors like a dog in a grass field because I know how to speak fluent corporate.
Every other employee: oh god I hope they don’t talk to me
Me, about to smile and “circle back” to every problem we’ve ever had with corporate in the most polite and palatable but unrelenting way possible (there’s nothing behind my eyes): oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy
Every other
employee: oh god I hope
they don’t talk to me
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
























