Bean

Trans woman with a penchant for hair and makeup (an adult, please don’t block me)

[vorpalrabbit]

Hi, this is the main for @the-unseelie-court-official I reblog shit here and make heart eyes at various tumblr users

[seat-safety-switch]

Whatever you may think about animals, the important thing to remember is that they can't build stuff. Well, except for corvids. They're pretty smart. Once, a magpie flew into my garage and started criticizing how dirty my carb's float bowl was, but I'm pretty sure that was just a hallucination brought on by huffing bad gas all day. Even though it was correct. Sorry, I get like this sometimes. Let's move on.

Okay, yes, I see you in the back in the oddly fuzzy suit. Beavers. Yes. They build stuff all the time. Houses, in particular. You ever seen a beaver build a car? That's what I thought. Sit down. Now that I've sufficiently moved the goalposts, I can now criticize the entire animal kingdom for not being able to build something as complex and glorious as the 1994 Chevrolet Cavalier.

That's right. If you go to your local pet emporium, you're not going to find even a single torque wrench for your "super smart" Bichon. Farms, even ones stocked with adorable goats, are not capable of even light panel press operations. In many ways, every creature that isn't us is simply incapable of making a car. Which is why we love and cherish them.

Yes, no zebra could have made even a single part of a 2005 Celica, but so also they could not have constructed the greatest turds of the automotive world. You're not going to haul your bent-to-shit, heavily leaking Saturn Vue back to the dealer and end up getting into a huge argument with an okapi over warranty service. After you get done with your screaming match in the forecourt of the buy-here-pay-here lot, you can still go home and hug your dog, who is completely innocent of the original sin of building a car.

[theweirdwideweb]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[vigilantsycamore]

eeby deeby... i haven't heard that name in years...

[digitaldiscipline]

[mira-marbles]

"only shooting stars break the mold"

Wrong

Haxorus

[themostblazingofsouls]

New Egg Prime Directive:

Crack that shit

[anarchistmemedistro]

[mercurialmorals]

Funny you say that.

Here, have this warehouse fire tracker. 120 as of posting this:

US Warehouse Fire Tracker

Live tracking of warehouse and industrial facility fires across the United States

[fuckaspunk]

165 babey

[susiephone]

it is genuinely infuriating how many people grasp the concept of "there are several different sects of christianity, some of which are conservative and controlling, but others which are more progressive, and you can't treat the whole religion as a monolith", but absolutely cannot wrap their minds around the idea that islam, the second-biggest religion in the world, is also not a monolith.

[scribefindegil]

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

[existennialmemes]

Companies in the 2000s: You wouldn't download a car! Digital copies are still stealing, even if the original copy remains with us.

Companies in the 2020s: That digital copy, which you have paid for, doesn't really belong to you. We're removing it from your library now.

[existennialmemes]

Companies deleting media you've literally purchased is 1000x more realistically "stealing" than digital piracy, you cannot change my mind

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[brightlotusmoon]

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

[ewaneneollav]

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

[scorebug]

i still don’t understand what the difference is between a strike and a ball ❤️

[scorebug]

this is making me cry

[breelandwalker]

Witchcraft Books by Bree NicGarran

Grovedaughter Witchery: Practical Spellcraft

For the witch whose town is devoid of occult shops and covens, learning the craft can be a daunting task indeed. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways for a budding practitioner to make a start.

Stroll down the forest path with Bree NicGarran, author of The Sisters Grimmoire, and discover the surprising ways you can practice your craft with commonplace items from the supermarket and the craft store. Build a travel kit for on-the-go magic. Create your own spells from scratch with a step-by-step guide. Learn how to make your own witch webs and magical powders. Uncover the secrets of walnut charms and witchballs and much, much more. Every page carries tricks of the trade and homegrown charms from the files of the Grovedaughter herself.

From besoms to banishings to a bit of good advice, Grovedaughter Witchery is the ideal book for any witch with an inclination toward a practical, no-frills approach to witchcraft.

The Sisters Grimmoire: Spells & Charms For Your Happily Ever After

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, Who’s the cleverest witch of them all?

With the spells in this book, it just might be you!

Inspired by the well-known works of The Brothers Grimm, this volume boasts over sixty original spells lovingly crafted from favorite fairy tales, along with helpful spellcrafting instructions and several indices to aid you in your journey. All of this is wrapped up with useful chapter forewords discussing the various themes within the tales, some insight into the creative process, and a bit of discussion on ethics and the usage of magic.

Whether you’re ready to yell “All Heads Off But Mine,” looking to turn your luck around with some Buried Coins, or just wanting to show the world What Big Teeth you have, there is sure to be a spell within these pages that is exactly what you’ve been looking for.

After all, who couldn’t use a bit of Happily Ever After?

Pestlework: A Book of Magical Powders & Oils

From the author of Grovedaughter Witchery comes a volume of potions and powders for all occasions, suitable to enhance the craft of any practitioner.

Old standards like Banishing Powder and Blessing Oil meet new classics like Dream Dust and Stargazer Wishing Oil. Need to rid your house of a troublesome spirit? Try a sprinkle of Ghost-Be-Gone Powder. Looking for a way to get your zest back after spellwork? Brim With Vim Vitality Oil might be just the thing. Over 200 original formulae await you within these pages, along with helpful hints, safety tips, and detailed instructions for creating your own magical powders and oils.

Collected for the first time in a single volume, these recipes are the product of twelve years of experience and much experimentation. While magic is never a guarantor of success, the potions within these pages just might give your spells the edge you need.

Visit my Amazon Author Page for listings and book reviews! You can also visit my Wordpress shop to order books and other witchy goodies directly from me. (All orders billed through Paypal. Nominal shipping charges will apply.)

Make sure you check out my podcast, Hex Positive, on your favorite podcatcher app! (Part of the Nerd and Tie Podcast Network.)

If you own a shop and would like to carry my titles, please contact me at [email protected] for wholesale information.

[breelandwalker]

I can now directly fulfill book orders in the US, Canada, Germany, Spain, France, Italy, Australia, and the UK! Visit the Willow Wings Witch Shop to place your order. 😊

[lazeylily]

you understand that there's nothing wrong with wanting people to pay attention to you, right? it's not intrinsically evil, you are allowed to want to be seen. you can do it in soft and nice and good ways, but you don't even have to. you can just want to be seen.

[lazeylily]

if you respond to sincerity with "ironic" deflection, people will learn that they can't be sincere with you. do you want people to be sincere with you? you have to be sincere with people.

if you want to be loved, don't play hard to get, make the act of loving you feel good. if you liked it, just say thank you. being embarrassed is cute.

[daylights-rain]

vulnerability forever no matter how bad it hurts.

[captain-price-returns]

[foxhardt]

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

[wizardshark]

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

[catboybiologist]

Top surgery scars were made for pressing against tgirl boobs

[catboybiologist]

sTr4T and all forms of lesbianism are the only sexualities personally blessed by the divine amen