Woah @vrouf - Tumblr Blog

sopping wet. absolutely dripping

If you give me any positive reinforcement whatsoever i will go full doggo and hang on to that shit forever and my internal thought process will pretty much boil down to “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

thottistani-deactivated20220220

No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

garbage-empress

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

#3 #which im thankful for

mittybee

cillianmurphy

i may be a closed off person but i will never surpass the level that jake gyllenhaal was on when he replied “There are some things I keep to myself, that are my business…” when asked what type of sandwich he ate

meangirlnurse

komemeda-nagito

I’m making LaCroix

anikoku

Winner of JJBA Biggest Change of Face Contest: You Decide

uwusoap13

nevver

It!

sistertaxon

types of stard

mu

ba

karnalesbian

cu

cheaphalloweencostume

why did my mom end this text with a wink

kibumkim

she’s the prowler

reallyreallyreallytrying

women love it when you replace every board of a ship with a new board, raising philosophical questions about whether it remains the same ship

cisgendre

cursivart

Raincoat

princesstigerbelle

Her name is Ramen shrimp

cikero

no one:

business majors: I have to be as unethical as possible

severalowls

The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

severalowls

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy, I used to feed it to my clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons. They need to bounce and float away when released. Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement. This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

Clowns get stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…? Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s chemically made with preservatives.