Searching for Freedom

30, Australian. Stories of my therapy as I work through the darkness of PTSD.

[wantingtobefreee]

Victim Blaiming

A 7yo girl was adbducted from a shopping center and sexually assaulted by a stranger over the weekend on my home state. Her mum turned her back for 5 seconds while her daughter went to get a toy to show her mum what she wanted for Christmas. 5 seconds in a busy shopping center. Her abductor returned her to the shopping center once he had finished. It had made headlines all across the country. This morning it was on the news and let’s reflect on my mother’s comment...

“A 7yo girl shouldn’t have been on her own”

Let’s victim blame a 7yo girl rather than blame the individual who decided he was within his right to abduct a young girl from a busy shopping center and sexually assault her. Let’s blame a 7yo girl for being excited about Christmas and wanting to show her mum what she wanted Santa to bring her. Let’s blame this 7yo girls poor mother for taking her eyes off her daughter for 5 seconds.

I was fucking 7yo when someone decided he was within his right to sexually assault me. I was 7yo when my mother took her eyes off me and left me with someone who was “trustworthy”. I was 7yo when my mother decided not to protect me. I was 15yo when I told my mother what had happened too me and she didn’t believe me and now I understand why, even though I was the victim, it was my fault that I was sexually abused.

I hate society and I hate that I was born to someone who thinks that way. It’s only added to the years of trauma and abuse and the years of emotional and mental pain and suffering that has followed. NO ONE ever deserves to be sexually assaulted. We should be blaming the perpetrator who decided to take away a child’s innocence.

I feel like I am never going to heal while I still live under the same roof as someone who thinks this way and while I still have to hear comments like those.

[hellojuly1998]

“You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Ice Palace (via goodreadss)

[thepowerwithin]

There may come a time in your life when you need to focus a little bit more on yourself. There may come a time when you need to accept a little bit more love from yourself instead of dishing it out to everyone else around you.

At some point, you may need to heal.

And this healing requires the extra energy.

So please, when you need to, give yourself this bit of extra attention. There’s nothing shameful about it, for it really comes down to needing to take care of your wounds when it’s time for their mending.

~ Nicole Addison | Instagram

[books-n-quotes]

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

— Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

[books-n-quotes]

“We cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever. We must stand up and move on to the next action.”

— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

[thepowerwithin]

Don’t run away from your fears, but run straight into them. Devour them. Conquer them. Feel them, and endure them. Running away only temporarily shields them from your sight. They will remain until they are attacked head on. So face them. Turn and face them until there is nothing left.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin ~ Instagram

[thepowerwithin]

Be ready and willing to shed the parts of yourself that are meant to be let go of.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

[amargedom]

““You cannot save people, you can only love them.””

— Anaïs Nin (via naturaekos)

[thefiresontheheight]

A gentle reminder that it’s absolutely okay to feel not okay. You don’t have to feel like shit for feeling like shit.

[poetbitesback]

“Not all of us are the product of our parents, our situations, our hardships; some of us are reactions. You do not walk in the rain and become the rain, you become wet and respond by running for cover. Similarly, just because your parents were unkind does not mean you are unkind, you’ve been hurt. Now, you show even strangers a greater kindness than you’ve ever known.”

— post-therapy thoughts || O.L.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Not everyone deserves to know the real you. Let them criticize who they think you are.”

— Unknown

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I crave time by myself to sit and heal my heart before I step out into the world again.”

— Gemman Troy

[thepowerwithin]

Sometimes simply sitting silently with oneself can be more soothing than anything else within that moment.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin | Instagram

[wretchedoftheearth]

“But some people can’t tell where it hurts. They can’t calm down. They can’t ever stop howling.”

— Margaret Atwood (via armsoreal)

[thearticsoul]

“My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn’t go as planned, and that’s ok.”

— Rachel Wolchin

[wordsnquotes]

Distance By wordsnquotes

now available at our Society6 shop

[books-n-quotes]

“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence…”

— Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince