Daphne Was Here

This is the story of a thank-you note to my mom.

[wanttobecome]

Here's to 60 more two-twenty-fives.

We're both halfway there.

(Separating 60)

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[wanttobecome]

(Episode 224: Series Finale) Want to Become: A Blog "Finisher"

Yes.  This is my goal, I think.

I want to actually "finish" blogs.

I'm so tired of blogs not ending.  

Do you understand?  Do you understand that's why we hate blogs??

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Breaking Bad was an amazing show (I keep meaning to start it),

but I doubt it would work for 25 years.  When there's a show about a "drug guy," you can't just Homer Simpson it and keep him saying "d'oh" at the end of every episode, like you're giving pellets to a generation full of mice.

That shit needed to go somewhere.

And it did.

Or so my gut tells me -- please don't spoil episode 1 of season 1 for me yet.

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Cut back to blogs...

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Blogs can't get cancelled.

Until now

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That's right.  I'm canceling my own blog.

It's had a promising first season (winter 2013-14), and I think it really could have blossomed into something cool,

but the numbers just weren't there.  

A little too messy,

a little too "scatter-brained."

Focus groups liked the individual blogs, if there were more pictures with funny faces and messages.

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Was it an issue of quality-of-product, poor-marketing, or combinations of both?  

It couldn't possible be for boring content.  

(Guy-in-Princess-Bride voice) :  "In-con-CEIVABLE!"

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'Tis a matter for history to decide, as this "Want to Become . tumblr. com " lies buried in the cemetery of what-could-have-beens,

resting with a knowing smirk on its face, next to 

Freaks and Geeks

My So-Called Life

Pooty Tang

(I have seen none of these.  But I want to BECOME THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO watches amazing things, understands they can't last forever -- and that I would resent them if they did -- and so on some level,

just shuts the hell up and moves on

appreciates something beautiful from the past for creating the current world, and then living fully in the present moment)

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This blog is now finished.  You can safely go back to the beginning, if you like, and read it.

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Ha.  Wow.  I forgot how this started.  To have gotten here from there is

INSANE.

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This blog is my answer to

a video I saw from Rory Scovel a year or so back, and similar to one my friend Adam Salandra made to encapsule his 2013 (of which I am featured TWICE)

(to anyone who wasn't in it:  not hating just saying)

(.blogspot.com)

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(edited for comments that were anti-Google in nature)

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Just kidding.  This isn't a "cliffhanger."

This is a goodbye.  Well, not "goodbye."

Let's just say,

Smell you later.

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[wanttobecome]

You may not know me. Which is weird.

[wanttobecome]

Looking back, that ignorance was necessary. You tried your best, but you weren't ready for that.

SquareRootInfinity

[wanttobecome]

Looking back, it's like, "Ohhh, you thought you were even CLOSE?"

SquareRootInfinity

[wanttobecome]

When I actually go through it will be terrifying....it used to be terrifying just KNOWING there was a door there.

SquareRootInfinity

[wanttobecome]

Stop reading books. Start reading chapters.

Me, learning how to read.

[wanttobecome]

Question to ponder: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?

Rick Warren, "The Purpose Driven Life, expanded edition"

[wanttobecome]

Want to Become: An Ex-NFL fan

I'm just kind of getting tired of it.  

Am I the only one?

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I remember as a kid, I didn't have cable.

I loved sports so much.

I thought the idea of a channel that was sports ALL THE TIME was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard.

I still remember the first time as a kid, when Baseball Tonight cut in to show an update of Barry Bonds homering.  

I was a nerd.  Just trust me on this.

I was a sports nerd.  

The kind that for whatever reason, doesn't count.

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But it should.  It really should.  We're no better than comic book nerds, or Star Trek nerds.  

We really aren't.

If we are, then tell me why?  Because our heroes are real?  

Okay, cool -- read that last sentence out loud, and see how "cool" your argument is.

Look, I'm guilty.  As guilty as anyone.  I spent 40 hours a week on fantasy football.  In the hopes of winning the $80 that the rest of my league-mates might or might not actually pay.

I've spent 10 hours a day re-watching and re-listening to the next day's media coverage about a huge win.

I've done it all.  I am the worst of us.

But I just went to ESPN.com, and there were 5 guys, talking about "who got cut," and "who's going where," and "wait a second. Did I hear that right? How the hell did an entire plane just disappear? It's 2014!!"

and "what will this mean for their cap figure in 2016!?"

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And I gotta be honest -- I think I'm getting kind of bored.

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I still love all Pittsburgh teams other than the Steelers (I quit rooting for them when they kept Roethlisberger after the 2nd rape.  And when I think about it, I think it would say a lot about the city if more Pittsburghers realized they could do the same.

(don't be scared -- you can still root for the Pirates and Penguins.  They're more fun and have fewer rapists.  (waving you over) It's actually better over here!  You get to root for the young guys, and you don't feel dirty about it!!)

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&

[wanttobecome]

What is this, some sort of test? Or are you offering Mr. Clean a snack, like milk and cookies for Santa Claus?

[wanttobecome]

GO UNDERWATER MORE.

My advice, to me.

[wanttobecome]

...to say that a shoe fits is to speak not only of shoes but of feet.

C.S. Lewis, 'The Abolition of Man' (pg.30)

[wanttobecome]

I myself do not enjoy the society of small children: because I speak from within the Tao I recognize this as a defect in myself -- just as a man may have to recognize that he is tone deaf or colorblind.

C.S. Lewis, 'The Abolition of Man' (pg.29)

[wanttobecome]

Sometimes posts are just a chance to say hello again.  Because I'm still here.

[wanttobecome]

Living Love Letter: March 6, 2014

12 minutes.

12 better than nothing.

I really should look at things that way.

I had a great night last night.

I also didn't wake up until 10:23 this morning.

But I think that's part of the deal, of being a comic.

And I forget that sometimes.

I get into this mindset, of not wanting to go out.

But it just is what it is.

So, I don't like being out late.

Well, most people don't like getting up early.

If you want to do something, you have to be willing to be a little uncomfortable.

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It's 11:20.  Hopefully you'll get your lunch today, and you can read this, and soak it in.

But even if you don't.  It's written.

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I seem to get off track so easily, in life.

Or at least in my writing.

This is the least I've written on this blog, in the 3 months I've been doing it.

I think it's been about 3 months.  I think I started around Thanksgiving.  But I honestly don't even remember.

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My basketball game got canceled last night.  And so I went out to comedy shows.

It was good.  I should do it more often.  I had a good time at Caroline's.  

I still just feel so lost, a lot of days.  I don't know what the right way is, to take advantage of the opportunities I've been given.

Part of me wants to quit basketball, just to focus on comedy.  That's what a non-miserable night will do.  

But I don't think that would make me happy, either.  

I know that I don't want to live a life of specific excess.  I don't want to limit my experiences to developing one skill.

But I don't know how to break down the time.  Things like stand-up, podcasting, basketball, making videos (why do we still call them videos?),

I don't know.  

I wish I didn't say "I don't know" as much.

I still say "like" entirely too much.  It's a habit I am constantly falling back into.

It's taken me well over a year to correct my posture.  Maybe I should stop thinking I'm going to wake up one day and never say "like" again.  

Maybe I should start treating my life like a work in progress.

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The 10:23 thing haunts me.  

That just sounds so bad.

Yes, I got home from work at 3 am last night.  

But still.  I woke you up, we chatted.  Then two hours later, you were up and headed to work.  How the F__ do you do that?

I'm excited to talk to you.  I want to hear all your updates.

I'm glad we handled everything the way we did, last night.  I want to follow how I feel, and for whatever number of reasons, it didn't feel right.

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I caught up with a comic named Mike Lawrence last night.  He's engaged and getting married this fall.  He talked about how nice it is to have someone cool, and how much it makes you not worry about "the game" of stand-up, and whether or not strangers think you're cool.

I agree.  I've been struggling with that for a while now.

I have more to say.  But it's 11:30.

March 6, 2014.

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[wanttobecome]

I did the best I can do right now.

Anthony DeVito

[wanttobecome]

You can have a sense of accomplishment about something that means nothing to you.

Butterfly Starfish