representing the G.D.S. (goalie defense squad)

🔞 THIS BLOG IS 18+ONLY. 🔞 Jack | 29 | they/them | unhinged hockey fan You are now in goalie defense squad territory. [Header image: Logan Thompson fully dressed in his goalie gear, with his mask up, standing with his hands on his hips. He is up against a red background with the words "'SCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS GUY" in white letters around him.] [Avatar: Logan Thompson smiling while looking slightly to the viewer's right. He has red heart emojis over both of his eyes, and the bisexual flag and original eight-color gay flag on his backwards snapback.]

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

🔞 THIS BLOG IS 18+ ONLY. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YOU NEED TO SCRAM. 🔞

Minors I've had to block so far: 7.

Hi, and welcome to whatever this is. Call me Jack. It's not short for anything. My pronouns are they/them unless I tell you otherwise.

This blog contains hockey RPF and weed. If that's a problem, head back the way you came.

Please trade hockey cards with me. I have too many. They're in my walls. They're coming out of my air vents. Help.

This blog started about a decade or so since I first became a hockey fan. I still don't know shit.

I represent the goalie defense squad, whatever that means. I dunno. All I can tell you is I used the phrase "goalie defense squad" a few times and now other people are starting to use it, too. I love goalies more than life itself.* And I have a crush on Logan Thompson, in case you couldn't tell.

*No, this doesn't apply to rapists, abusers, misogynists, racists, homophobes, etc. I really shouldn't have to say that.

I'm queer, transmasc, and agender. I'm very much a gay man, but I'm not a man, so don't call me one. Other masculine terms (e.g. "dude" used casually) are fine.

If I reblog something and I don't add an image description or an audio/video transcript, it's because I didn't have the spoons at the time. (I'm disabled, too.) I do my best to add them when I can, and I absolutely add them on request.

I'm autistic as hell, so I use (and need) tone tags. Some examples:

/gen (genuine)

/hj (half joking)

/j (joking)

/lh (lighthearted)

/srs (serious)

A rough guide to my tags:

#ask for image description, #ask for transcript, #ask for video description, and #ask to tag should be self-explanatory.

#avs lb, #bolts lb and #caps lb should also be self-explanatory.

#brand new sentences (quotes from games)

#dead husband hours (not actually dead players, just ones who used to play for my teams but don't anymore)

#goalie defense squad (goalie love, affection, appreciation, recognition of the hard work they do, etc.)

#hello??? (mostly hockey RPF and occasionally other things that took me by surprise)

#hockey heritage post (to me)

#prime beef (sculpted hockey bods)

#sir this is a wendy's (men in slutty clothes)

#what the fuck lmao (the cursed tag)

#where am I (self-inflicted existential confusion)

#yeah (things I agree with and/or things that describe my human existence)

Tags you may or may not want to block:

#drugs tw (usually just weed, very occasionally other psychedelics)

#jack is a meme loving fuck (my unfunny hockey memes)

#jack's mood: in heat (excessive horniness)

#ok jack (personal shit, venting, and slight to moderate horniness)

#suggestive (mainly used for other people's posts and for accidentally homoerotic hockey commentary)

If we've at least spoken before and you are at least 18 years old, feel free to ask for my weird horny sideblog.

I block with reckless abandon.

[antimonarchy]

*has a thought and has to scroll back to where I was on the tumblr dashboard to remember it*

[yaoiblackmold]

Being blocked on tumblr is the funniest thing ever because when you visit their blog it dosen't even say you're blocked, instead tumblr will try and gaslight you into thinking the blog never existed at all. What the hell so you mean "there is nothing here" I literally saw my mutual reblog this post that is time stamped 2 hours ago.

[lakevida]

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

[lakevida]

your majesty what is upppp

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

[Image transcript: kingcervix reblogged your post "the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter"]

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

New reaction image just dropped.

[2well2water]

i am so sickkkkkkkk of people seeing misogyny perpetuated by a man and automatically going "well SOMEONE'S closeted" omfg you know that men hate women even when theyre attracted to them right??? why are you more interested in making fun of gay people than hating misogynists. you fucking freak

[roseworth]

thank uou for showing me your little white boy i do not like him can you put him away please

[wouldyoueatthisfood]

Would you eat this?

I would eat this

I would not eat this

I have eaten this (positive)

I have eaten this (negative)

Remaining time: 6 days 9 hours

Food: pineapple pulled pork

Ingredients: crushed pineapple, pineapple juice, garlic, cumin, salt, red pepper flakes, black pepper, pork butt roast

[daily-nhl-polls]

Would an ad being on a jersey influence you when it comes to buying it?

Positively influence

Negatively influence

No influence

Remaining time: 6 days 9 hours

For instance, if the purchasable version of the Wild jersey off their website came with the "TRIA" ad.

[unicorn-jpg-archive]

hey nonbinary parents u kno how there’s shortened terms for mother and father but no good shortened terms for parent?? well i have the solution for you!!! instead of “parent” u can call urself “guardian” which can be shortened to “guard” and then when ur kid says things like “sorry i can’t go my guard says no” they sound rich and mysteriously important and u dont get misgendered and everyone wins

[beesdontexist]

Additionally, when your kid has a bad influence trying to get them to do something they know you would be against they could say “Sorry, I don’t want to let my guard down” which is both mysterious AND a pun

[powerful-owl]

if you see this, reblog with the last sentence you’ve written for a fic 🤲

[sulkybender-retired04042026]

What's the fic you would write if you had the energy for it? Ambitious, complex, novel-length—the fanfic you'd make if you could.

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

If that shadow covers any more of the field, they're gonna have to break out the night-vision goggles.

[luckydicekirby]

sometimes a fic can just be about the age old question 'how emotionally bad for everyone involved can a threesome be when they all did in fact agree to be there'

[liarsblade]

Making "oog. Waugh. 🥺" kinds of noises after being reminded of a very basic fact about blorbo I already knew

[queerofthedagger]

okay let's actually do this properly

Where do you write your fics/stories

Word

Google Docs

Scrivener

LibreOffice

Obsidian/Notion

ProtonDocs

Notes App

Directly into AO3

Ellipsus

Handwriting

Other (explain in tags?)

Remaining time: 4 days 8 hours

[artrcrry]

anguishing at work

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

[ID: Tweet from the St. Louis Blues that reads, "Connor McMichael will wear #77 for the Blues."]