representing the G.D.S. (goalie defense squad)

🔞 THIS BLOG IS 18+ONLY. 🔞 Jack | 29 | they/them | unhinged hockey fan You are now in goalie defense squad territory. [Header image: Logan Thompson fully dressed in his goalie gear, with his mask up, standing with his hands on his hips. He is up against a red background with the words "'SCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS GUY" in white letters around him.] [Avatar: Logan Thompson smiling while looking slightly to the viewer's right. He has red heart emojis over both of his eyes, and the bisexual flag and original eight-color gay flag on his backwards snapback.]

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

🔞 THIS BLOG IS 18+ ONLY. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YOU NEED TO SCRAM. 🔞

Minors I've had to block so far: 7.

Hi, and welcome to whatever this is. Call me Jack. It's not short for anything. My pronouns are they/them unless I tell you otherwise.

This blog contains hockey RPF and weed. If that's a problem, head back the way you came.

Please trade hockey cards with me. I have too many. They're in my walls. They're coming out of my air vents. Help.

This blog started about a decade or so since I first became a hockey fan. I still don't know shit.

I represent the goalie defense squad, whatever that means. I dunno. All I can tell you is I used the phrase "goalie defense squad" a few times and now other people are starting to use it, too. I love goalies more than life itself.* And I have a crush on Logan Thompson, in case you couldn't tell.

*No, this doesn't apply to rapists, abusers, misogynists, racists, homophobes, etc. I really shouldn't have to say that.

I'm queer, transmasc, and agender. I'm very much a gay man, but I'm not a man, so don't call me one. Other masculine terms (e.g. "dude" used casually) are fine.

If I reblog something and I don't add an image description or an audio/video transcript, it's because I didn't have the spoons at the time. (I'm disabled, too.) I do my best to add them when I can, and I absolutely add them on request.

I'm autistic as hell, so I use (and need) tone tags. Some examples:

/gen (genuine)

/hj (half joking)

/j (joking)

/lh (lighthearted)

/srs (serious)

A rough guide to my tags:

#ask for image description, #ask for transcript, #ask for video description, and #ask to tag should be self-explanatory.

#avs lb, #bolts lb and #caps lb should also be self-explanatory.

#brand new sentences (quotes from games)

#dead husband hours (not actually dead players, just ones who used to play for my teams but don't anymore)

#goalie defense squad (goalie love, affection, appreciation, recognition of the hard work they do, etc.)

#hello??? (mostly hockey RPF and occasionally other things that took me by surprise)

#hockey heritage post (to me)

#prime beef (sculpted hockey bods)

#sir this is a wendy's (men in slutty clothes)

#what the fuck lmao (the cursed tag)

#where am I (self-inflicted existential confusion)

#yeah (things I agree with and/or things that describe my human existence)

Tags you may or may not want to block:

#drugs tw (usually just weed, very occasionally other psychedelics)

#jack is a meme loving fuck (my unfunny hockey memes)

#jack's mood: in heat (excessive horniness)

#ok jack (personal shit, venting, and slight to moderate horniness)

#suggestive (mainly used for other people's posts and for accidentally homoerotic hockey commentary)

If we've at least spoken before and you are at least 18 years old, feel free to ask for my weird horny sideblog.

I block with reckless abandon.

[queerofthedagger]

okay let's actually do this properly

Where do you write your fics/stories

Word

Google Docs

Scrivener

LibreOffice

Obsidian/Notion

ProtonDocs

Notes App

Directly into AO3

Ellipsus

Handwriting

Other (explain in tags?)

Remaining time: 5 days 4 hours

[artrcrry]

anguishing at work

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

[ID: Tweet from the St. Louis Blues that reads, "Connor McMichael will wear #77 for the Blues."]

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[hockeyplayer-thisorthat]

Which option do you think the pictured hockey player would pick. Feel free to add why in the tags.

Careful

Careless

Voting ended on2h

Remember to share

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

In some other universe, Charlie Lindgren would probably be on FarmersOnly.com.

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

The hell is Abrams even on?!

[energyprison]

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

[makesoneteam]

"rpf is weird" okay???? so is whatever these fuckers have going on????

[seven-winged-liar]

brother you gotta put those big brown eyes away. youll kill someone

[schmilsson]

sports arent real

[schmilsson]

sports stands for

S - piss

P - yourself

O - off

R - immediately

T - for

S - free

[shieldofiron]

Many people forget when writing bdsm that the dom also wants to get a good grade in dom. And is trying so hard and is often nervous about it.

[fuckedelf]

Can I eat yummy candy on SSRI?

[scrapyardwings]

I think the thing about Tom Wilson is that he strikes me as an actual professional in the aspect that game time is game time, and that’s not home time. Like, he is at work, he is here to do a job, and to do it passionately and to do it to the best of his ability. So he throws punches and gets in guys faces. However, off the ice he is out in the community, doing volunteer stuff and he can laugh with a guy who he just threw hands with two days ago. Because that was work but this is not.

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

[ID: Tweet from Sammi Silber that reads, "Talked to Charlie Lindgren about what he's come to learn about Tom Wilson. Said he's discovered he's the nicest guy out there. His parents came to the same realization after meeting Wilson, who for years had beef with youngest brother, Ryan. #ALLCAPS"]

[eroscestlavie]

Why am I finding out just today that Salvador Dali designed the Chupa Chups logo

[eroscestlavie]

????

[eroscestlavie]

Hey. What

[trash-slvt]

"relax. sucking does not kill" would make for a fun shirt

[villainessbian]

I'm sorry chupa chups I didn't know your game

[washingtoncapitalsbara]

(IDs:)

[First ID: The Chupa Chups logo, a yellow and vaguely flower-shaped design with "Chupa Chups" on it in fancy red text. Designed by Salvador Dalí, 1969.]

[Second ID: Screenshot of an article that reads, "In the 1980s, an anti-smoking campaign "Smoke Chupa Chups" was tried to attract further adult consumers. The company's current anti-smoking slogan is 'Stop smoking, start sucking,' with certain packaging designed as a parody to cigarette packs. Some packages parody the mandatory black and white warning labels of the European Union with the notice "Sucking does not kill."]

[Third ID: A package of Chupa Chups that looks like a cigarette pack. It has a black and white warning label that reads, "Sucking does not kill."]