Welcoem to my twisted Ass @watermeat - Tumblr Blog

"Rationalism" is up there with "Objectivism" in terms of "definitionally funny things to call your own belief system".

"Yeah man I've been doing some thinking and philosophy and I've come up with a framework called Being Right"

Check out my new philosophy called Correctism. It includes all of the correct and true ideas and rejects the wrong ones.

chillyfeetsteak

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"

our-queer-experience

guys i want a beard like his so bad

our-queer-experience

great

frankenfran

realtalk: i can’t wait for AI to get better to the point where you can have a legit conversation with your computer or phone just for the heck of it imagine how innocent they’d be, and like they don’t know what swearing is until you teach them then they go overboard with it like a child and hhHHHG

frankenfran

aquilacalvitium

For those without timestamps the original post was made in 2014

bob-artist

Thinking about this one day when I was in Chicago and it was so foggy that the buildings turned 2D

bob-artist

I mean... you're not wrong

wizard0rb

owldude

anarchistmemedistro

exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear

starting a collection of works titled Evelyn Someone and her Number of Items

oysters-aint-for-me

i keep getting this instagram ad for what i assume is a romantasy novel that begins w the phrase “imagine knowing your destiny in life…is to die” n it’s pissing me off SO BAD. everyone’s destiny in life is to die. that’s like. kind of the main one.

jame7t

I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

cryptotheism

This happened to me. You think mummies are slow as fuck and you can outrun them. But alien mummies have a ray gun.

jame7t

do not trauma dump on my posts please

ozempicofficial

thekneezbeezz

rocky really ate him up here. i fear

shastafirecracker

eridian children in Grace’s class interested but slightly disappointed to learn that much earth life is bilaterally symmetrical with even numbers of limbs

Grace going “oh!! But!” and teaching them about starfish, to their absolute delight

new eridian schoolchild trend of starfishing aka flopping flat down with all legs out and moving by wiggling and squirming around, giggling. parents hooting at Grace in despair. why did you teach them this

charlesoberonn

depsidase

lunar-pantheon

i made a grindr and in under 24 hours i got the most insane unsolicited nude to ever exist. hes fully nude on the beach and in his right hand is a black tipped reef shark i could not make this shit up if i tried

lunar-pantheon

artistic rendition

i fucking wish i had a way to prove this but a) passing around nudes is wrong even when its a 40 year old nudist shark freak and b) he unsent the messages bc my silence made him nervous ig. wish he was instead nervous about sharks around his panenis but im not his dad

lunar-pantheon

btw another pic in the set he sent me was essentially the same photo but the shark was a fishing spear and his penis was erect this time. do you think he meant it as a metaphor thats kind of poignant symbolism

he looked almost regal in a florida man way

lunar-pantheon

actually fuck do you guys think i ghosted Poseidon on grindr be honest its hurricane season and im on the gulf i mean did you SEE what that guy did to odysseus