Life has always been rough. Every day feels like a battle to survive and not to give in, throwing yourself off the roof. Nothing you did was enjoyable; it felt too much of a chore, and you felt exhausted before even wanting to start your projects. You were also lonely, very lonely. Since you moved, the few friends you had were back to zero, except for one online friend. You had no one but yourself. Connecting with others was very difficult for you, as you did not know the silent rules for social cues.
Being a lone woman in this town is very dangerous. Who knows when a predator decides to have their eye on you? You were easy picking, as none would notice if you disappeared. Well, except for work, but your boss would be pissed, and you were easily disposable. You thought living alone in town would be scarier, but it became even more dangerous when the news reported that a woman had gone missing. Of course, they did speculate that the woman ran off with her lover, but nothing was for certain.
Walking to work was nothing new as you listened to your music from your headphones. You really loved music, all kinds, to ambience to video game OSTs. Music really helps calm your nerves, and it helps you get lost in a fantasy world that you will never be a part of.
While walking to work, you noticed how many flyers have been taped to the brick walls and glass windows. All the advertising about the travelling circus that came a few days ago. You never seen such advertising before. You've seen less advertising of someones' missing cat than the amount of flyers flying on the road and taped on lamp posts.
The circus must be something, as you saw a bunch of performers in costumes handing out flyers. The clown designs were beautiful, detailed with the ruffles, lace and face paint on their porcelain masks. You were a bit jealous that they were able to wear such costumes out in public. You had clothes that had ruffles, frills and bows. Everything alternative was hidden away in your closet.
Some loud yelling was heard, and a crowd started to form. Being curious, you approached the crowd. You were always curious, and it sometimes led you to trouble. Shuffling forward to get a closer look, you saw that one of the circus performers was on the ground while an angry guy was shouting profanities at the actor. The performer didn't try to define himself itss like he has already given up. What frustrates you the most is that no one was stepping in to help the poor performer. Why wasn't anyone helping?
Your mom always told you to never intervene when people were fighting, or you would become the victim yourself. She wasnt wrong with the analysis, as you were deemed shorter than the average person and a young girl. You would be an easy punching bag or worse if they had other intentions for your female anatomy. It was just safer to ignore it and move on. It's what you should have.
"Oi, what do you think you're doing?"
You stepped in front of the violent man before you, spreading your arms to protect the poor performer. You didn't know why you did it. Maybe it was empathy from your own job, as people can be relentless. Maybe the anger that anyone more capable of protecting him could have intervened instead of a weakling like you. You didn't know why, but now you put yourself in a dangerous situation.
"He's just trying to do his job, trying to get by like we all are, so don't put your frustrations out on him."
"He and this damn circus are the reason why people in this town are going missing! We never had anyone missing till these fucking freaks showed up!" The man shouted in a aggrevated tone.
"You're going way too far, man." The crowd started speaking out, finally. But the man was still agitated and came closer towards you with his fist clenched. He came far too close for your liking. You always carried a weapon since you started living alone. You always carried it to work, making sure you were always protected.
You pulled out your switchblade, pointing that sharp end towards him.
"Step back." You said cooly. Your body trembled as you tried to keep your voice steady.
The man quickly back up so did the rest of the crowd. The crowd quickly dispersed as they didnt want to witness any bloodshed. They murmured out loud for you to hear.
"She pulled a knife on him!"'
"She's crazy."
"This is getting out of hand."
"Crazy bitch" the man said before leaving.
You took a shaky exhale as you slowly put the knife away. You turned your head to get a good look at the circus performer. He looks rough as the left side of his mask was marked in red. The guy most likely punched him.
"You alright?" You quietly said. His yellow eyes meet your dull e/c just for a sec before your phone dinged. Crap, you were almost late. Quickly running off and leaving the stunned clown sitting on the pavement. You wouldnt know, but he was staring intently at you with hearts in his eyes.
Work was terrible. Your coworker did a no-show, and it was just you and your boss trying to handle all the orders in the tiny cafe. You must be very tired because every once in a while, you would see a shadow lingering by the windows. It was most likely the circus actors putting flyers on the windows. Of course, you have to hear your boss complain about the flyers and make you go pick them up.
One customer came in with a nice blue suit and his black hair combed back. He was handsome, and you had a pleasant conversation with him, giving him a small smile. He even offers to take the stacks of flyers from you. How kind of him.
"Do you like the circus?" He asked suddenly. You took a moment to pause. You have been to amusement parks before, but are they the same?
"Are amusement parks the same as circuses?" It was a proabably a dumb question in hindsight, but you truly have no idea. The man let out a small chuckle.
"Amusement parks have rides like roller coasters. A circus, however, tells stories and has grand acts to wow the audience. Acts like aerial dances, juggling, and knife throwing."
"Oh, I don't think I ever been in one."
The man stretched his lips into a smile.
"How about I give you a ticket and enjoy what the circus has to offer?"
Your eyes widened, and your mouth parted.
"No, no its your ticket, you shouldn't waste it." You quickly responded as you waved your hands.
"No, I insist, I've been to that circus plenty of times, and I know you would put that ticket to good use." He offered the pink ticket that is within your grasp.
"I'd rather not, its not my place."
"I insist, my dear. I can see the tiredness in your eyes. You really need a break from life's woes."
You couldn't hide your face as shock spread across it. Was it that obvious with the dark circles under your eyes?
"Please, my dear, I'm sure you would enjoy it." You hesitantly take the ticket and give a shy thanks.
"Ah, I forgot to ask, but you are of age, right?" The suited man suddenly asked.
"P-pardon?"
"Sorry, I know this is a instriusive question, but the circus is for those 18 and over and you look a little young."
"Oh don't worry, I do look younger than what my age is supposed to be, but I am over 18. Why is the circus 18 plus?" You nervously fidget with the ticket. Careasing it and rubbing it against your fingers.
"It's nothing too graphic, just some blood and horror that isn't suitable for children." He plainly said.
"Oh, ok, thank you again for the ticket. I really appreciate it." The gentleman got up, taking his leave.
"Of course..." Before leaving, he turned his head back to get one final look at you. You nervously shuffled as he finally left the cafe.
The day went by in a blur as all you could think of was that handsome man. Was he asking you out? Why else would he give you a free ticket? You felt a small crush start to form towards the stranger as he gave up his ticket for you. You gingerly rubbed it and admired the artwork on the ticket. It must have been expensive to buy such a ticket.
Your day went on. It wasnt too bad, and the boss even had you closed down early due to the recent disappearance. You slowly closed down as you dried the glass cups with the towel. You were lost in your daydreams. Thinking about tomorrow and excited to see all the grad acts. And hopefully the man in the suit will be there as well.
Your thoughts were quickly interrupted as the bell rang. Your head perked up, but you saw no one enter. The lights then flickered off. You took a steady breath as paranoia started to kick in. You called out your boss, but there was nothing but silence. You started to let out a soft hum, trying to distract yourself from the eerie silence.
You quickly grabbed the knife as you tried your best to navigate yourself to find the light switch. Opening the breaker, you reset it, and the lights came on. You let out a sigh of relief. Too many things were happening today. The bell rang again, as you forgot to put the closed sign in front of the cafe.
"Sorry, we are closed.... oh its you." The clown you tried to protect early is now here. You didn't give him your customer-friendly smile. Instead, you looked even more dead with your lips in a frown. You weren't actually frowning; it was just your resting face, and today has already been so busy that it left you drained.
Eyeing the clown, You couldnt help but notice how tall he was. He was so big it was a wonder how he got punched in the first place. You took in the details of his costume. His outfit was adorned with simple patterns and stars on his jester-like hat. He was wearing such a pretty costume. But you noticed that the top of his mask, blood was pouring from his head.
People can be so cruel.
You let out a sigh as you put the knife down. You quickly grabbed a wet towel and went to the other side of the counter, where he was. He kept looking at you the entire time. His figure intimidated you as he looked down at you. You brought your hand forward in a little beckon motion, the clown thankfully understood and leaned down, bringing his masked face very close to you as you started to gingerly wipe the blood from his head.
You had to wash the rag a few times before all the blood drained out. The clown was looking at you with a dazed look, his mask covered in bandages and a pink blush on his mask. He was so happy to be pampered; his mask conveyed a toothy grin while your back was turned, trying to wash the remaining blood off the cloth.
After you were done, you turned towards him.
"Do you need anything?" The clown tilted his head to the side, a silent way of asking 'what do you mean?'
"Do you want a drink or a pastry?" The clown quickly shook his head and waved his arms. His bells jingled from that motion.
"Then why are you here?" You were very blunt. If he didn't want to order anything, then why come to a cafe so late?
The clown pointed at you before pulling out a beautiful red flower. You were stunned for a good few seconds.
"For me?" You pointed at yourself. The clown nodded.
You felt your cheeks heating up as you meekly took the flower from his clawed gloves.
"Thank you." You quietly said as you looked at the flower. It felt like paper, and the petals were wet from the red paint. You didn't know where to put the flower, so you placed it behind your ear.
"How'd I look?" You gave the red clown a teasing smile as his mask went blank, with a very dark blush covering it. He suddenly quickly nodded with great speed. You let out a soft giggle as you slide the glass door that had all the desserts, take one eclair and place it in a paper bag.
"It's on the house." You handed the clown the bag. He looked shocked at this form of kindness. His gloved hands gently took the bag from your small, dainty hands. His clawed fingers gently brushed against yours before they suddenly vanished.
"Thank you." He suddenly said
You were surprised. It was the first time he said something. And oh wow, his voice is deep.
"Why is your voice so deep?" You suddenly blurted out with no filter. You quickly regret it as your face heated up in embarrassment.
"S-sorry." You looked down at the counter, shame consuming you. You felt clawed fingers under your chin as it tilted your head up, staring up at the clown.
"Don't apologize, my lady, you've been very kind to me, and for that I'm forever grateful." His eyes slightly squinted at you.
"I have another gift for you, my lady. A small token of appreciation." He took out a red ticket and handed towards you.
"Oh, thank you, but I already got a ticket." The clown tilted his head to the side.
"May I see that ticket?" You handed him the pink ticket that you were given earlier. He holds the ticket in front of you before swiping his hand across it, turning the pink ticket into a dark red one. You were in awe of that magic trick and started applauding. He took a bow before placing the red ticket in your hands.
"What happened to the pink ticket?" You asked.
"Ah, my lady, the pink ticket was incorrect; you wouldn't be allowed to enter the circus. So please take mine instead." You stared at him.
"What. It was a fake?"
"Yes, my lady, a counterfeit. Please do not accept tickets from strangers. I would not want you to encounter trouble at the entrance." The red clown explained.
"O-oh, thanks." Why did that handsome guy in the blue suit give you the ticket? To make fun of you? You weren't sure.
You felt a sudden touch as the clown gently tapped his finger against your cheek.
"You will come tomorrow wont you, my dear Y/N?" You were taken aback. You don't remember giving him your name.
"How'd you know my name?" The clown then gently tapped your name tag that was attached to your work shirt. You blushed as you let out a silent 'oh'. Of course, he knew your name; it was on your name tag.
"W-well, it's not fair that you know my name." You put your hands on your hips.
"You need to tell me your name as well, Mr. Clown." His eyes squinted again, and his sharp-tooth grin stretched even more as once again he took a dramatic bow.
"I am the Pierrot, my lady." He gently grabbed your hand and gave it a kiss with his mask. Your face erupted in red. No one has ever done this to you, and you couldn't help it that your heart fluttered a little.
"W-well, Pierrot, it was nice meeting you, but I have to close down the cafe. But I'll see you tomorrow at the circus." You wrung your hands together in a nervous manner.
"I hope to see you then. Have a goodnight my lady." Pierrot left the cafe as you waved him goodbye.
You would've loved walking during nighttime. Something about the absence of anyone on the streets made it eerie but comforting. Putting on your headphones, you listened to some Silent Hill music while walking home. The walk feels different. However, it felt uneasy, but there was no one there.
A soft meow has interrupted your thoughts. A familiar void-like creature has approached you and started purring and rubbing itself against your legs.
"McChicken!" You cried out as you started petting the black cat. McChicken was your only friend in this town. You don't know if they already have a owner or if they are a stray. Either way, you unfortunately can't take them home due to your landlord's strict rules. You just feed them whenever you have the chance. The cat was one of the main reasons why you kept going. Why you have to keep breathing. The cat has helped you a lot during your worst days.
While giving McChicken heavy pets, something squirmed in your gut that felt worse.
Something was off.
Coming home, you kicked your shoes off and unbuttoned your work uniform. Today, for once, you felt happy. You were actually looking forward to tomorrow. But anything can go wrong. You can lose the ticket, or Pierrot shuns you for whatever reason. Maybe he gives a flower to anyone and is nice in general. You made that mistake with a coworker in your last job. You thought that he was nice and talkative only to you, but no, he was like that with everyone.
It took a month for your heart to calm down and stop crushing on him. But how painful that was. You don't want that pain, but it wouldn't matter anyway. It's either the loneliness or the unrequited crush. Besides, who would want you anyway?
No one loves you.
It's what you convinced yourself even though deep down its not true.
After putting on your pjs you started going through the web and searched for clowns and circuses. Turns out Pierrot is the name of the clown dressed in white and depicted as a sad clown often courting the Columbine. But in the end, she chooses the Harlequin.
After reading, you decided to read your unfinished manga and webtoons while playing music.
While reading, an idea popped in your head. You remember you had a pin in your little knick knack box you want to give to Pierrot the next time you see him. If he was there, of course. After rummaging through your box, you finally found it.
It was a funny button pin that had the image of a sad cat wearing a clown costume, and there was a quote saying, 'God gives his hardest battles to his silliest clowns.'
You loved that button, but you found a suitable owner for it. Going to bed, you placed the flower Pierrot gave you on your nightstand. Cuddling your stuffies as you played Yume Shikki sleep mix, you started to fall asleep.
Little did you know that a tall shadow overlooms your balcony window as his yellow eyes pierced your sleeping form.
Y/N might have bitten off more than she can chew when she enters the Crime Section and is caught in a cat-and-mouse game between a serial killer and the homicide detective hellbent on capturing him.
detective!Jongho × fem!Reader
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❑ WORDCOUNT — 14.4k
❑ WARNINGS — adult dialogue, female reader, a couple of death threats are made, ; mentions of: food consumption, death, blood; description of crime scenes, ; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut!
❑ CONTENT — angst, smut; crime/mystery; non idol au, crime au, detective au, serial killer au
❑ NOTES — as this part is about a serial killer, there will be a partial description of a crime scene but it’s not super graphic. There are also a couple death threats made towards the MC and towards other characters so keep that in mind as you read. Thank you so much for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED.
AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.
❑ SMUT WARNINGS: unprotected sex (definitely do not do), fingering (f receiving), degradation (f receiving), use of restraints (f receiving), choking (f receiving), mild dacryphilia (you have to squint for it), dom!Jongho, sub!Reader, and that should be all but of course let me know if I missed any.
previously…
“Who are you?” you asked, your mouth moving faster than your brain. The man hesitated before answering. “You really don’t know?” he asked. You shook your head. You’d seen the man before but you didn’t know his name.
“My name is Seonghwa,” he finally answered.
“And I am the Keeper of Keys.”
Your brows furrowed, eyes narrowing as you stared at the man. “The Keeper of Keys? What does that even mean? What keys?”
Seonghwa gestured to the box on the pedestal. “This box is meant to hold the Seven Keys to the Library. The Seven Keys to the Restricted Section.”
‘Keys? Restricted Section? What the hell is going on?’
You looked back at Seonghwa. “So, what exactly do I have to do?” you asked.
Seonghwa turned to you before stepping down and walking over.
“You must collect seven keys. Those keys are used to unlock the door to the Restricted Section,” he explained. You nodded and stood up straight. “And how do I collect these keys?”
Seonghwa grimaced before answering. “You have to pass a series of… trials,” he continued. You were about to ask what the trials consisted of but he spoke again. “These trials are not for the faint of heart.”
‘Well, that answers that question,’ you thought as you took a deep breath. “Is there potential of injury or death?” you asked. Seonghwa hesitated and your heart sank into the pits of your stomach. “I could die?!” your voice cracked as you spoke.
He nodded. “You could die,” he answered. “But it’s either potentially die in one of the trials or starve to death in here,” he added. You glanced at the door across from where you stood before looking back at him.
“Tell me more.”
Seonghwa gestured to the door behind you. “Each door leads to one of the six sections within the library. In those sections, you will be faced with a trial where you must obtain a key from the guardian of that section.” You looked back at the door. ‘Guardian?’
“The guardians come in all shapes and sizes and they are strong, clever, and in some cases, lethal. They are sworn to protect the keys so they will not be easy to persuade. You might have to get creative to get the keys,” he continued.
“You may choose any of the doors but once you go through, you must have the key in hand to return. Otherwise the Library will not unlock the door and it will be out of my hands to let you back in.”
You processed his words in silence, contemplating your options which at the moment did not look great. You sighed and looked at the door to the Restricted Section once more. You were going over everything in your head. “And there’s no chance of just picking the locks?” you asked.
To this, Seonghwa actually chuckled. “You think a place that is rumored for its magical properties and ability to shift and expand would have pickable locks?” he asked, genuinely amused by your question. Your cheeks burned as you looked away. “No,” you answered. “I suppose not.”
You sighed, turning your gaze once more to one of the wooden doors, noticing the word carved into the stone above it. “I guess I have no choice,” you said, turning to look at Seonghwa. “Do I have to do this in a specific order?” you asked, to which he shook his head.
“No,” he answered. “You get to choose which order to enter the doors.” You nodded and turned to the door you had looked at earlier, walking over to it and looking at the word above it, Seonghwa following you. “How dangerous is it?” you asked as the two of you stopped at the door.
“There is a considerable level of danger to each section. The threat of death even,” Seonghwa answered, his voice hesitant. “Death…” you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper as you turned your gaze from the door to look at him. He met your gaze, a pained expression visible briefly before it shifted into something else.
“You strike me as someone who is strong willed,” he said softly, a hint of adoration in his voice. Your eyes narrowed. “Is that supposed to instill confidence in me?” you snapped. Seonghwa recoiled slightly at the venom in your voice. “Am I just supposed to go rushing in now?”
Seonghwa turned to face you fully, a hand reaching out to grab your arm, firm yet gentle. The action surprised you and you tried to pull back but he was much stronger than you thought.
“No,” he answered in a low voice. “But you are limited on time. If you do not get the keys and enter the Restricted Section, you will never leave this place,” he continued. “Ever.”
You stared up at him, eyes searching his for any sign of dishonesty but saw none. There was something else in his eyes. Something you couldn’t quite place. It went beyond recognition or admiration. It was something stronger.
After a brief stand off, you inhaled, letting out a deep sigh. “It looks like I don’t really have much of a choice, do I?” you finally asked. Seonghwa seemed to visibly relax a bit. His posture remained rigid. “No,” he answered, a sadness in his voice despite the small forced smile. “You don’t.”
With another deep inhale, you turned your head to look at the door in front of you, glancing up at the placard above the curved stone frame that read ‘crime.’ You silently cursed yourself for not thinking to carry a weapon. Sure you had a machete but after all the hacking at vines and other brush in the forest, it wouldn’t do much good against a person.
Seeming to understand your thought process, Seonghwa glanced down at the machete at your hip as your hand instinctively went to the handle. Without a word, he left your side and crossed the room, to the small alcove where his desk stood.
You noticed Seonghwa was gone and turned to watch as he pulled open a drawer of his bureau, grabbed something from within, and made his way back to you. In his hands, he held something wrapped in a thick black cloth. He hesitated, glancing up at you before he carefully unwrapped it, revealing a rather large knife in an aged leather holster.
“It’s not much,” he said softly, his fingers curling around the edge of the handle before he offered it to you. “But it’s never been used.” You stared at the offering before looking up to meet his glowing red eyes. “Why are you giving this to me?” you asked softly. A sad smile flashed over his features quickly. “Because you need it more than I do,” he answered.
You glanced back down at the knife before carefully taking it from him. “Thank you,” you breathed. Shifting the machete strap on your belt, you placed the knife sheath next to it, securing it to your belt before looking up at Seonghwa. “So,” you started, filled with a new determination.
“What do I need to do?”
After a brief explanation from Seonghwa, including that you would have to be ready for anything and to do anything to collect the keys, he unlocked the door into the crime section and allowed you in. With one final warning to be careful and reminding you that humans were often the most dangerous creatures of all, you were off, the door clicking shut behind you.
The walk was long, almost as long as the walk into the library. Your footsteps echoed against the stone around you as you passed rows and rows of shelves full of the same old tomes, rolls of scrolls, and loose, yellowed pages. You continued forward until something caught your eye.
‘A light?’
Your pace quickened as you made for the light you could now see coming from the end of the hallway. As you drew closer and closer, your footfalls continued to echo until you stepped on something other than stone. You stopped, eyes turning downward to try and discern what was blocking your foot from making contact with the stone but you couldn’t see anything in the darkness.
Rather than dwelling on it for long, you decided to resume your brisk pace for the light which you could now see was coming from a cracked open door. As you reached it, you cautiously pulled the door open and peered out into a long corridor.
Past the door was like an entirely different world.
The floor of the narrow hallway was covered in a light bluish-green carpet, the edges stained with something brownish black. The walls were an off white color but whether that was from the overhead lighting or age itself, you couldn’t be sure.
One of the dim, yellowish lights overhead was flickering, the faint buzz of electricity cutting out each time it went dark. You continued forward, passing a couple doors. They were dark brown, again whether painted that way or aged, you couldn’t tell. There seemed to be a layer of grime to them, something that couldn’t just be wiped away.
It was clear the building you were now in was old and not well cared for. About eye level on the doors was a small round hole, no doubt a peephole for the occupants within. Above the peephole in raised numbering were a series of three digits, the gold paint on them was peeling in places. No doubt either room or apartment numbers.
As you continued forward, your eyes landed on a door near the end of the hallway that was cracked open and approached cautiously, remembering Seonghwa’s warnings. As you drew near, your heart started to hammer in your chest. You weren’t sure what you were going to find beyond that door and you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to know.
Upon reaching the door, you reached out, hand outstretched before you hesitated, eyes scanning the door and the wall just inside where you could see dots of red along the wall. Your eyes widened and instead of pushing forward, you started backwards.
‘Blood,’ you told yourself. ‘The wall is covered in blood.’
Your back pressed up against the wall behind you as you stared in shock at the door. As if taunting you, the door slowly started to swing open and you watched wide eyed as a scene from a horror movie appeared before you. From where you stood, you could see an inordinate amount of blood covering the floor and smeared all over the walls.
Just past the foyer into the apartment was the living room, the darkness of the apartment punctuated by the flashing of what you assumed was a television. As your eyes swept over the scene, the source of the blood came into view. A body, at least the lower half of one. A pair of legs covered in blood-soaked denim lay halfway into view. Your lips parted in shock but your horror was interrupted by the sound of rushed footsteps.
The door next to you burst open and you jumped, letting out a cry of alarm as uniformed officers swarmed the hallway around you, weapons drawn but their attention wasn’t on you, it was on the bloody crime scene in the apartment.
“Damnit!” you heard one of the officers say before he grabbed the radio transmitter clipped to his collar and pressed a button on the side, speaking into it.
“I got a 10-54 at the Landon Heights location, possible homicide. Need to secure the area and uh…” he trailed off before sighing. “Send a bus.” You watched as the officers secured their weapons in their holsters. “Alright, secure the area!” the officer said and quickly, the others scattered, moving to cover entrances and exits to the hallway.
The first officer, an older man with a somber expression, turned away from the scene and just then his eyes fell on you slumped against the wall. “Ma’am?” he asked as he knelt before you. “B-blood,” you whispered. “So much blood.” The officer waved his hand in front of your face.
“Did you see anything ma’am?” he asked. You looked up to meet his gaze, shaking your head. “I was passing by and saw the door open,” you whispered. “Did you see anyone pass you on the stairs or the elevator?” the officer asked. You shook your head. “N-no,” you answered.
“Did you enter the apartment?” You shook your head again. “No. The door just opened. I… I saw the blood and I just froze. Didn’t know what to do.” The officer nodded. “Do you live here ma’am?” he asked. You glanced up at him. If you said no, would they think it was suspicious that you were here in the building? You could lie and say yes but they could figure that out.
Before you could answer, the radio came to life with static. “Be advised, bus enroute, additional officers dispatched. Detectives arriving soon.” The officer sighed and nodded to himself. “Just, stay there until the detectives get here, ma’am,” he said and stood up, moving to inform the others.
How long you sat there, you had no idea but before long, the officer returned with a coroner in tow. You watched as a man with a camera and bag entered. He followed the coroner into the apartment, letting out a series of expletives. The officer from before stood by the door as two more people entered, one a woman dressed in pants and a button down with a jacket.
She barely registered you as she looked into the apartment at the bloody mess. “Oh fucking hell,” she groaned, shaking her head. Next to her stood another detective, a man. He wore a blue button down, black pants, a black leather jacket, and black boots.
On his hip was a holster with a firearm and around his neck, a chain with a badge identifying him as a detective. His eyes briefly scanned the scene inside the apartment as the forensic photographer snapped photos, the flash illuminating the mess.
He quickly looked away, catching sight of you. He nudged the female detective, gestured in your direction and she nodded before she headed into the apartment while one of the cops put up yellow tape. The male detective walked over to where you sat and knelt down. He tilted his head slightly, giving you a once over before speaking.
“Evening, ma’am,” he said softly. “I’m Detective Choi. What’s your name?” You glanced up to meet his gaze, heart pounding as your eyes met. He was striking, surprisingly soft and warm with rounded features. When your eyes met, he gave you a kind smile.
“What’s your name?” he asked again, his tone soft. “Y-Y/N,” you stammered out. He nodded, glancing over his shoulder before looking back at you. “Did you see anything Miss Y/N? Anyone running out of the apartment, anyone on the stairs or in the elevator?” he asked. You shook your head. “No,” you replied. “I came in the back stair and it was empty the whole way,” you continued.
Detective Choi nodded and thought for a moment. “Did you touch anything?” he asked, nodding towards the open door. You shook your head fervently. He offered another warm smile. “I won’t be mad,” he said gently. “I just need to make sure you didn’t touch anything.” Again, you shook your head.
“The door was already open when I was walking by. I saw the blood and I just backed away,” you explained. Detective Choi nodded. “I see,” he said softly. “Do you live here, Miss Y/N?” he asked. You shook your head. “I was just visiting,” you said softly. He nodded again before getting up. You looked up as he held out his hand. “Let’s get you away from this scene. I imagine it can’t be a pleasant view.”
You hesitated before taking his hand and allowed him to help you to your feet. He stood before you, blocking your view of the apartment door. “This way,” he said softly, gesturing to the door leading to the front set of stairs. You walked slowly as he followed and then took the steps down to the ground level, discovering you were on the ninth floor.
Once outside, past the officers, Detective Choi resumed his questioning, asking some of the same questions and you knew what he was doing. He was trying to see if your answers would change. After finishing his questioning, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small white card, handing it over. “If you think of anything or remember something, please give me a call,” he said as you took it from him. “Day or night doesn’t matter.”
You nodded, looking at his card. ‘Jongho Choi. Homicide.’ As Detective Choi put his pad of paper away, you looked up at the slight movement. “And if possible, could you stay in the area? In case we have any follow up questions?” he asked. You nodded slowly. “Have a good night, Miss,” the detective said before turning and heading back into the building, leaving you standing on the sidewalk alone.
You sighed, tucking the card into your pocket and turned away from the unfolding crime scene, finding yourself inside the taped off area. You quickly walked over to the edge and ducked under the tape, ignoring the gathering crowd. You looked around, uncertain of your surroundings.
‘Now what?’
You walked aimlessly around the block, taking in the sights and making mental notes of landmarks, streets, and other notable features. You had no idea where the guardian might be nor how to find them. You continued to walk until you reached the entrance of the crime scene once more. You were about to turn back when you noticed the officers leaving the building and the crime scene techs coming out with a black body bag.
You watched as they loaded it into a van and before long, the same two detectives came out of the building. Detective Choi glanced over and noticed you and quickly turned to his partner to say something you couldn’t hear. She nodded and started for the opposite side of the crime scene tape while Detective Choi turned and walked in your direction.
When he was close enough, he gestured to the cop standing near you to let you inside the area. Hesitantly, you entered and met the detective. “Are there any leads?” you asked, genuinely concerned. He shook his head. “Not yet,” he answered softly. He glanced behind him as the coroner’s van started up and pulled away from the scene before turning back to face you.
“This is highly unprofessional,” he started quietly as he met your curious gaze. “But I need your help.”
Detective Choi took you from the crime scene to a small diner on the corner of a somewhat busy intersection. It looked like the kind of place that had been there since before the city had grown up around it. The block it sat on was on the older side and a stark contrast to the newer buildings you could see in the distance.
The diner, Chuck’s, was inside a corner building, the outside designed to look like those old train car diners of a bygone era. The outside walls were made of chrome, mimicking the look and feel of a train. There was a small stoop leading up to the door.
Once inside the building, it looked like it fell right out of some movie and landed on the corner where you stood now. The floors were black and white checkered. Along the outside walls were retro style booths with matching tables, all bolted to the floor.
Across from the main entrance wall was a bar behind which plenty of servers stood around, moving to grab food from the open window behind the bar, making coffee and milkshakes and the like. Next to the door stood a tall silver sign with a black chalkboard. Written in white cursive were the words “seat yourself” and you did just that, following Detective Choi to a booth far from the door and in the corner closest to the bathrooms.
You sat down across from the detective as a server came, quite literally, rolling over. She wore a stereotypical diner server uniform, complete with an apron and white roller skates. She smiled warmly as she came to a graceful stop at your table and asked if you’d like coffee to drink. Detective Choi nodded immediately and you decided to accept a mug as well.
The server, who introduced herself as Livie, scribbled down on her notepad before skating away to get your drinks. You lifted the menu to read over the options, seeing a lot of the familiar fare that places like this had: burgers and fries, sandwiches, breakfast, and comfort dinners with heapings amounts of mashed potatoes and some form of gravy.
“Order whatever you want,” the detective said suddenly, making you look up at him. “It’s on the precinct.” You glanced back down at the menu. “Thank you Detective Choi,” you said softly as Livie returned, setting down two mugs, one in front of the detective and one in front of you before filling both with coffee from the carafe.
She returned the carafe behind the bar and skated back over, pen and paper ready to take your orders. Detective Choi ordered the breakfast platter, selecting how he wanted his eggs cooked, whether he wanted bacon or sausage and if he wanted toast or pancakes.
You ordered the pancake platter, opting for scrambled eggs, sausage patties, and simple buttermilk pancakes. Once your order was taken, Livie took your menus and rolled away to put your orders in with the kitchen, leaving you and the detective to your coffees.
You glanced around the diner as you stirred cream and sugar into your coffee, taking in the other patrons. Many of them looked like they were probably regulars. A couple sat at the bar, spaced far enough apart that indicated they wanted to be left alone. There were a handful of other booths with patrons, all of them looking like they were coming off a night shift.
You glanced at the detective, finding him watching you carefully. There was a look in his eyes you couldn’t quite place. You could feel an undeniable pull between the two of you and just as quickly as you caught his eye, you looked down at your coffee, watching the surface swirl in an almost hypnotic way.
It was mostly quiet in the diner, the silence only broken up by the distant hum of a radio in the kitchen playing a melody you didn’t recognize or the occasional cough, sneeze, or clearing throat of some other patron. The detective continued to watch you, his gaze burning but not through you. It was like his gaze set your skin on fire, a burning that couldn’t be explained as nervous tension. It was something else.
Something thick or strained. Almost… sexual.
You took a sip of your coffee before clearing your throat finally, breaking the silence between you.
“So,” you said softly as you set your mug back down on the table with a dull thud. “How can I help?”
The detective paused while he sipped his coffee. Finally, he set the mug down before fixing you with an intense but determined gaze. “This conversation is entirely off the record,” he stated. It wasn’t a question and you weren’t about to anger him so you nodded in agreement.
“I think this murder is the latest in a string of homicides,” he started. “It has the same M.O. I think we’re dealing with a serial killer,” he continued as you looked up from your cup. “And I have reason to believe the killer is someone in the precinct I work in.” Your eyes widened in shock.
Before you could reply, Livie returned with a tray and holder. She set up the holder and set the tray down before starting to unload your plates. Once you had your food, she asked if you needed anything else, to which the detective declined. “I think we’re fine,” he said with a rather charming smile. Livie smiled, nodding before she rolled away.
You watched as the detective started cutting into his food. “Detective,” you started softly, trying to draw his attention. “Please, call me Jongho,” he said, glancing up at you. “If we’re going to be working together, I’d like us to be on a first name basis, Y/N.” Your cheeks burned under his gaze as you nodded.
“Jongho,” you said, his name rolling off your tongue with ease. “Let me get this straight.” Jongho stopped his movements and looked up at you, giving his full attention as he ceased cutting his food. You took a deep breath, glancing around the diner before you leaned in to speak.
“You think the killer is a cop?” you asked softly. The detective nodded. “I know it sounds far fetched,” he started. “But I have my reasons for believing so.” You stared at him for a beat longer before he cleared his throat. “I can’t go into too much detail here,” he said softly. “But things aren’t adding up. The killer is always several steps ahead of us. He gives too much away, almost like he’s taunting us.”
“Maybe he wants to be caught?” you suggested, remembering details from the various crime shows and documentaries you’d watched over the years. “If they leave too much evidence or draw too much attention to themselves, doesn’t that usually mean they want to be caught?” Jongho smiled as he leaned back in his seat. “You’re observant,” he said with a nod. “You watch true crime?” he asked to which you nodded. “And in most cases, you’d be right,” he continued.
“But he never leaves usable evidence. Only partial prints we can’t piece together, animal hair that doesn’t lead anywhere and even traces of blood from someone who was murdered nearly twenty years ago,” he explained. “Which is why I think it’s a cop. Who else would have access to a sample of blood that’s twenty years old?”
You swallowed a bite of your pancakes and sat there, pondering for a moment before speaking.
“Well, if it’s someone in the precinct,” you said softly. “I’m not sure how much help I can be. I mean, I’m not even a cop.” The man across from you smiled and leaned to the side, reaching into his pocket to produce a cellphone. “Captain Fulsom please,” he said while keeping eye contact with you.
After a brief silence he finally spoke. “Evening Captain. I need a favor.” The detective fell silent while he listened to the person on the other end speak. “I’d like to bring in a civilian investigator to help on the Landon Heights, Lacy Gates, and Dunham Towers homicides. I believe her insight could prove to be valuable.”
You waited with baited breath before the detective’s smile broadened. “Yes sir,” he said firmly. “Thank you sir. Her name is Y/N. She’s a freelance behavior specialist.” Your eyes widened, shocked at the level of efficiency that he lied to his superior. “Of course, sir. That won’t be a problem. Thank you again.”
With that, Jongho ended the call and set his phone on the table. “Now that that’s been taken care of,” he said, turning his gaze back towards you. “Have you finished?” he asked, eyeing your mostly empty plate. It was then you realized he’d already finished eating. You nodded as he pulled his wallet and you downed the rest of your coffee.
He pulled a few bills out of his wallet, setting them on the table. “Let’s go,” he said softly as he shifted to get up. “I have something I need to show you.” You quickly followed, thanking your server for the meal and service as you followed Jongho out of the diner and back to his car which was still parked on the street. You got into the passenger seat as he drove through the rain soaked, deserted streets until he turned onto a dark street and pulled to a stop at the curb.
Putting the vehicle into park, he reached over to the glovebox in front of you and opened it, pulling out a manila envelope. “Inside this folder are a series of crime scene photos,” he said softly. “Some of this is pretty gruesome stuff,” he continued. “If you can’t stomach it —”
“I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, holding your hand out. Jongho hesitated for a moment more before handing you the folder. Carefully you opened it and could see immediately why he warned you. The pictures were a gory reminder that monsters existed out there, monsters that didn’t exist in fairytales.
Very real monsters.
You glanced away from one particular photo of a crime scene inside a child’s bedroom, blood soaked toys, a mangled corpse in the bed, torn sheets, and blood splattered on the walls. Sensing your apprehension, Jongho took the folder from you as you fought the tears that tried to spill. Murder was wrong, no matter what, but seeing a child in that state seemed to hit harder.
“How were they killed?” you asked softly. “Stabbing,” Jongho answered as he flipped through the photos, pulling out the particularly bloody ones before handing you the folder again. “There’s something we’re missing,” he said as you looked over the photos again. “Something that links every one of these murders together besides the M.O,” he added.
“Tell me about the victims,” you said softly as your eyes scanned the photos. Jongho cleared his throat. “Three different families in three different apartment buildings,” he started. “The most recent was the one you stumbled across. The one at Landon Heights. Aidan Sinclair, 36, a dock worker. His wife Rebecca Sinclair, 35, a kindergarten teacher. And their two twin daughters, Vivienne and Charlotte, both age 6.”
You sighed heavily as you looked out the window.
“Who else?”
“Lacy Gates, a high rise in the heart of downtown, the home of Christian Morales, 52, a prominent family lawyer. His wife Sophia Morales, a stay-at-home mother. And their 19 year old son, Xavier Morales, a college student,” Jongho explained as you looked through the photos of the crime scene. It was brutal but you pushed through. “And the last family?”
Jongho cleared his throat. “Dunham Towers, on the other side of the city. Joel Harrison, 41, a stay-at-home father. His wife Kristina Harrison, a renowned child psychiatrist. And their children, Carson who was 8 and attended a private academy for gifted children, and Leiah, 13 and attended a different private academy,” Jongho stated as you flipped through the photos.
“How were they killed?” you asked, closing the folder and looking up at Jongho who took a deep breath before launching into an explanation. “Multiple stab wounds, lacerations to the necks of the husbands, signs of sexual assault to the wives and the thirteen year old daughter,” Jongho explained, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Jesus Christ,” you whispered as he took the folder from you, placing it back in his glovebox. “That’s horrific.” The detective nodded. “Can I see the case files?” you asked, turning to look at Jongho who nodded. He started the engine and pulled back onto the main road, making his way to the precinct. Once he pulled into a parking space, he cut the engine and had you follow him into the building.
Stopping by the front desk, he got you a visitor’s pass which you put around your neck. Once done, you were led further into the building. The front lobby area wasn’t particularly busy but this late at night, you didn’t really expect it. Jongho led you to an elevator, pushing the call button and you waited for the lift to arrive in silence.
Once it did arrive, you took it up one level where the doors opened and Jongho led you through a series of offices until he reached a door with the word ‘HOMICIDE’ painted on the glass. He opened the door, letting you into the room first. He led you over to a desk and sat you down while he fetched a box from another desk.
You looked around the room, taking in everything that looked almost out of any of the detective shows you’d watched. There was a big white erase board against one wall with various pictures of the victims, the crime scenes, and potential suspects with notes written everywhere.
Aside from Jongho’s desk were five other desks. The detective returned to you, setting the box down and pulling out a couple files, setting them on the desk in front of you. Carefully, you opened the folder with the name ‘SINCLAIR’ written in black marker on the tab.
You looked over the autopsy report, eyes scanning the page for information.
“Adhesive residue?” you asked softly, looking up at Jongho who nodded. “Duct tape?” you asked and again, Jongho nodded. “So he binds the husbands to a chair, forces them to watch while he rapes their wives and then what? Kills the wives and then kills the husband?”
Jongho took a seat beside you. “That’s the theory,” he answered. You shook your head, a heavy feeling settling into your stomach. “Is there anything else linking the victims together other than the M.O?” you inquired as you moved to the next folder, ‘MORALES.’
“Not that we’ve found,” Jongho answered. “The fathers all have different jobs, same with the mothers. None of the children went to the same schools or attended the same clubs. We can’t find a shred of evidence linking them.” You sighed, setting the folder down and leaned back in the chair, eyes scanning over the files on the desk.
‘Maybe because they’re not linked to each other in the traditional sense,’ you said to yourself. Your eyes widened and you sat up. “Because they aren’t linked to each other,” you said quickly, causing Jongho to sit up straighter. “What if they’re linked to the killer?” you asked softly.
Jongho’s eyes narrowed before he looked down at the sheets of paper. “But how?” he asked. You picked up the files on the families again. “What were their occupations again?” you asked, scanning the sheets of paper.
“Aidan Sinclair was a dock worker, Christian Morales was a lawyer, and Joel Harrison was a stay-at-home dad. None of those are linked together,” Jongho replied, his brow furrowing. “And the wives?” you asked, shifting paper to try and find the answer to your own question. “Uh Sinclair was a teacher, Morales was a stay-at-home mother, and Harrison was a psychiatrist,” Jongho answered, moving to the edge of his seat.
“What kind of teacher? Children?” you asked as your brain worked, trying to make a connection. Jongho nodded. “Kindergarten,” he confirmed. “And the psychiatrist? Also children?” you asked as Jongho stared at you, nodding slowly. He looked at you like he could see the cogs working. “And what about the lawyer?” you asked. “Family lawyer,” Jongho said suddenly, his eyes widening in realization. “That’s it! That’s the link!”
“Maybe the killer has or had children and something happened and the lawyer, psychiatrist, and teacher were somehow involved?” you asked as Jongho pulled out his phone. “We’ll need to contact the office where Morales worked,” he said softly as he checked the time. “It’ll have to wait until morning. It’s too late for anyone to be there now,” he said softly.
“Did he have a home office?” you asked, not looking up from the papers. Jongho fell silent and you looked up to meet his gaze. “Are you up for a drive?” he asked, a smile appearing on his face. You helped clean up the files, placed the folders back into the box and left the office with Jongho, heading back down to the lobby and out to the parking lot.
The drive to the downtown apartment didn’t take too long and soon you were entering the lobby. Jongho flashed his badge to the security guard behind the desk before leading you to the elevator which took you to the twentieth floor.
Jongho led the way to the door, unlocking it with a keycode and opening the door. He led you inside, pulling out two pairs of gloves from his pocket and handing one pair to you. After putting them on, you followed Jongho through the apartment.
“The office is back here,” he said as you followed him, treading carefully over the carpeted floor. Jongho opened a door and flipped on the light. Inside the room was mostly untouched. Minimal blood except the small amount that spilled onto the door.
There was a large dark brown bureau in the center of the room, lining the walls were ornate bookcases made from the same dark wood as the desk. Various heavy tomes and books filled the shelves along with knicknacks. In the back corner of the room were two tall filing cabinets.
You followed Jongho over to them and watched as he tried to pry them open. You glanced around the room, eyes landing on a pen holder on the desk. You glanced around the desk as Jongho grunted with effort. Finally, your eyes landed on a small clear plastic container full of paper clips.
Quickly, you grabbed the container and dumped two paper clips out onto the desk. You grabbed one of the two and started to unwind it. Jongho watched as you carefully twisted and bent the two paperclips, reshaping them into tools. “What’re you —?” Jongho started as you moved over to the file cabinets.
You stuck the paperclips into the keyhole and started picking at the lock while the detective watched with a mix of shock but also amazement as you managed to shimmy the lock open. “You know,” he said as he pulled the drawer open, a lopsided grin on his face as you worked on the second cabinet.
“I’m gonna have to arrest you for that,” he said softly, amusement in his voice as the second cabinet lock clicked and you quickly pulled it open. “You let me in here,” you said softly as you started looking through files. Jongho chuckled, shaking his head as he turned his attention back to the drawer.
As you fell silent, only the sound of envelopes and papers being flipped through, you became acutely aware of Jongho’s body next to yours. His presence radiated heat unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye as he closed the top drawer and moved to open the second.
You turned your attention back to the drawer not entirely sure what you were looking for until Jongho’s breath caught next to you and quickly, you looked away from your drawer to see what he’d found. He was pulling a file from the drawer, his eyes wide and lips parted as he breathed heavily.
“No,” he whispered softly as he moved to the desk, setting the file down and opening it. “What is it?” you asked, abandoning your search and following him, looking over his shoulder at the papers. There was a picture of a woman smiling, a headshot, and you recognized her. “Is that —” you trailed off.
“Julia Herrera?” Jongho said softly. “Detective Herrera.” Your eyes widened in shock. ‘The female detective from the crime scene?’ You looked back at her and knew deep down it was the same woman. “Of course,” you heard Jongho whisper, his head dropping for a moment.
“What is it?” you asked curiously. “Detective Herrera recently went through a nasty divorce. She and her ex have been going through a custody battle for the last year. A few months ago, she claimed her ex was physically abusing their daughter. CPS got involved and it was a mess. A child psychiatrist was involved to determine the child’s mental state,” Jongho whispered. He stood up straight.
“Dr. Harrison,” he said softly. “She was probably the psychiatrist involved,” he added. You glanced around. “Does — did Dr. Harrison have an office?” you asked. Jongho nodded. “But she conducted sessions in her home as well,” he answered. “Let’s go,” you said simply, grabbing the file from the desk, shutting the folder.
Jongho followed without a word, shutting the light and following you out of the apartment. Once back in the lobby, you calmly called goodnight to the security guard and headed out to Jongho’s car, climbing in as he got into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “If we find a file on Detective Herrera’s daughter at the Harrisons’ place,” Jongho started as he drove, keeping his eyes on the road as tiny drops of rain hit the windshield.
“It’s going to be okay,” you said softly. Jongho shook his head. “How does this link to the recent murders though?” Jongho asked suddenly. “Aiden Sinclair was a dock worker,” he added. “But his wife was a kindergarten teacher,” you reminded him. “What school did she teach at?” you asked. Jongho pulled to a stop light as he wracked his brain. Something Bridge Elementary,” he said, shutting his eyes as he tried to remember. “West Bridge!” he shouted suddenly, making you jump.
“West Bridge Elementary!” His eyes widened. “What grade was Detective Herrera’s child in?” you asked as the light changed to green. “She’s five,” Jongho replied, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as you spoke.
“Old enough for kindergarten.”
Jongho glanced at you before turning his eyes back on the road as he took a memorized route to Dunham Towers. “West Bridge is where Herrera sent her daughter,” he said in a hushed tone as he turned onto a quiet street. “It’s possible Mrs. Sinclair was her teacher,” you replied as he parked and cut the engine.
The two of you got out, making sure to stash the folder under your seat before getting out and locking the car. You followed Jongho into the building and up to the second floor where the Harrisons’ apartment was. You put on a new pair of gloves he handed you and headed into the apartment.
Just like the previous one, this one had blood everywhere and you were careful to avoid it as you followed Jongho through the living room and back towards a room in the hall. Jongho pushed open the double doors revealing another home office. Inside it looked like the stereotypical office of a home shrink. As before, Jongho led the way over to a large cabinet in the back corner and like before, you dazzled him with your talent for turning paperclips into lockpicks.
You searched through the drawers until you found a folder marked ‘HERRERA.’ Jongho grabbed it and opened it, shifting through the papers. “Lucia,” Jongho whispered. “Is that Detective Herrera’s daughter’s name?” you whispered as he ducked his head, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah,” he answered finally, raising his head. “It is.”
“Then that’s our link,” you said softly. Jongho turned to look at you, a look of apprehension on his face. “Do you know what this means?” he asked, his voice pained. “It means that Detective Herrera is a suspect,” you answered plainly. Jongho scoffed. “It means a woman I’ve worked with for six fucking years is a suspect. A woman I’ve come to consider family.”
You could hear the pain in his voice. He was conflicted. You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know,” you replied. “But she can’t get away with this.” Jongho shook your hand off as he stood up. “Wait,” he said softly. “But the wives were all assaulted, even the 13 year old was assaulted. How could a woman do that?” he asked.
“You said it yourself no semen was ever found at the scene, right?” you asked, to which the detective nodded. “You know what can penetrate a human like a penis but leaves no evidence behind?” you asked softly. Jongho shook his head, staring at you.
“A sex toy.”
At your admission, Jongho’s eyes widened. “Oh my god,” he whispered as he looked away and back at the folder. “We have to take this to the precinct,” he continued before glancing at you. “Right now.”
He grabbed the folder and led you out of the room and back to the front door of the apartment. As you exited, he handed you the folder which you tucked out of sight. As you headed down to the lobby and out of the building, a voice called out.
Jongho turned and visibly stiffened. You peered around him to see the female detective from the earlier crime scene. She was smiling as she walked over. “Fancy seeing you here,” she said cheerfully before glancing from Jongho to you. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Nothing much,” Jongho lied. “Just following a lead,” he added.
Detective Herrera glanced back at him. You briefly saw her smile fade before she laughed. “A lead?” she asked. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?” she asked, tilting her head. “It just came up while I was talking to Y/N,” he said simply. “I don’t think it’s going to lead anywhere,” he added with a chuckle. “Another dead end.” You watched as Detective Herrera nodded slowly, her eyes meeting yours.
“Well, I should get Y/N back home. She’s been helping as a behavior analyst,” he explained, gently taking your arm. “Could I speak to her for a moment?” Detective Herrera asked. Jongho glanced at you and you knew to avoid suspicion, he couldn’t say no so he said he was going to start the car, leaving you alone on the sidewalk with the female detective.
“Such a nice young man,” Herrera said as Jongho shut the car door and started the engine. “Would be a shame if anything happened to him because of his poking around.” You said nothing and instead nodded wordlessly, your gaze meeting Jongho’s through the passenger window. “Well,” you said suddenly. “Should probably get going.”
As you stepped forward, Detective Herrera blocked your path, her hand curling around your arm and digging in painfully. “If you don’t stop poking around, I won’t hesitate to stop either of you. Do yourself a favor and throw Choi off the trail. Be a girl’s girl, yeah?” she said in a low voice, giving you an unsettling smile. You felt your pulse quicken, the danger obvious. She squeezed your arm painfully and you grimaced before nodding quickly.
As soon as she let go of your arm, you bolted for the car, hurling yourself in and not sparing a second glance back as Jongho pulled onto the street. You watched in your side mirror as Herrera faded into the distance before speaking up.
“She knows,” you whispered. Jongho glanced at you. “She threatened us. She knows we’re onto her.” Jongho cursed under his breath before checking his mirror. “She’s not following yet,” he said softly. “We have time.” Your brow furrowed in confusion. “Time?” you asked as he turned the corner.
“Time for what?”
Jongho pulled the car up to an apartment building and put the car in park, cutting the engine. “Grab the folders,” he instructed as he looked over his shoulder. You did as he asked, grabbing both folders. “Follow me,” he added as he got out of the car, keeping his eye out for anything suspicious while you got out of the car and followed him to another car.
Jongho unlocked the vehicle and got in while you slid into the passenger seat. Jongho started the car and pulled out, checking to make sure no one was following you. “Where are we going?” you asked as you glanced over to him. “A safehouse,” he answered, glancing at his side mirror.
Your eyes caught sight of something as the car passed under a street lamp.
A tattoo on his neck, hidden partially behind his ear. It seemed familiar. “What is that?” you asked, pointing to it. Jongho glanced over, noticing your finger and could only guess where you were pointing. “The tattoo?” he clarified to which you nodded. “Oh it’s nothing,” he answered. “Just something I got with my friends a long time ago.”
You stared at the dark shape as the car passed under another streetlight and your eyes widened as you got a good look at it.
It was the insignia on the box back in the Library. The insignia for the Crime section. You stared at Jongho as he drove, making sure to shake anyone who seemed to be following. As you stared at the tattoo on his neck, you suddenly realized something.
‘He must be the guardian!’
You didn’t have time to dwell on it as the car came to a halt outside an old, seemingly abandoned building. Jongho pulled into an alley between buildings, driving over the bumpy road until he was able to pull into a small space behind the building. He cut the engine and got out of the car, you followed as he pulled a heavy metal gate into place, blocking the car from view.
“Come on,” he said softly, gesturing to you to follow him. He led you to a door, produced a key and unlocked it. He let you in first before shutting the door behind him and carefully led you through the seemingly abandoned house to a hidden door that led to the basement.
Once in the basement, Jongho locked the door and activated a security system which included a backup generator and wall of monitors, displaying various camera feeds. There was a desk with computers. You allowed yourself to look around the room, taking in the small kitchenette and four person dining table and chairs. There was a door where you could see a toilet at the back and then a queen sized bed in the corner across from the kitchenette and dining space. At the foot of the bed was a futon couch and television set.
It was a proper safehouse.
“Are we safe here?” you asked softly as Jongho checked the cameras. “Yes,” he answered. “No one else knows about this place.”
You relaxed, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “How long do we have to stay here?” you asked softly. Jongho shook his head. “I’m not sure,” he answered. “I’m gonna try to get in contact with my supervisor,” he added as he pulled his phone out. You said nothing, only nodding in response.
Jongho tried dialing his boss but after a couple tries, he cursed under his breath while you looked around the room again, uncertain of what to do or how you could help. You felt useless in this situation and completely out of control.
Jongho cursed again and lightly tossed his phone onto the desk in the corner, leaning over it with his hands placed flat on the surface. Grimacing, you stood up, uncertain if you should approach or keep your distance. It occurred to you that you didn’t really know this man. Didn’t know what he was like outside of his work or what he did when upset or angry.
You could be in trouble and not even know it.
And yet, despite that, you still wanted to help. “Anything I can do?” you asked, your voice breaking the silence of the room. You watched as Jongho stood upright and slowly shifted, turning to look over his shoulder at you. “Unless you can boost the signal of my phone to reach through the walls of this bunker,” he started before turning away. “I don’t think so.”
You glanced around once more, eyes scanning the room for some way to help. “Why not just head out into the hallway?” you suggested. “You have a camera feed here that covers the entire premises, right?” you asked, moving closer to where he stood. “Check the cameras, make sure the coast is clear, and then step outside to make the call. It’s best to do it now before Herrera tries to get ahead of it.”
Jongho turned to meet your gaze. You could see the gears turning in his head, his brow furrowing before he nodded. “You’re right,” he replied, turning back towards the cameras, eyes scanning over each one as he checked for any sign of the detective.
You moved to join him, checking each monitor. “How many cameras are there?” you asked, a hint of awe in your voice. “Probably far too many,” Jongho answered. “Both entrances to the house, each corner of the building, the alleys, every room in the house, including the attic, the hallways, and one in here as well,” he said, gesturing to the monitors.
“No delay, closed circuit, backed up to a server in this room. I record everything and every week, I save it to a thumb drive. I’m thoroughly organized,” he continued, turning his head, his eyes meeting yours as you looked up, a slight smile on his face. You held his gaze before looking away and back at the camera feeds. “It seems to be clear,” you said softly.
Jongho tore his gaze from you and nodded. “Yeah,” he replied. “I’m gonna step out and make the call. If you see anything on the cameras,” he explained as he picked up his phone. “Push this button. It’s a buzzer,” he explained as he showed you a button on the wall that sort of looked like a buzzer. “Push it three times and I’ll know to come back in here.”
You nodded and watched as he left the room, unarming the alarm system and shut the door behind him. You turned your gaze back to the cameras, spotting him in the hallway with the number 20 in the corner. There was no audio as he tried again to make a call. It seemed to go through because his lips started moving. Tearing your gaze away, you glanced at the other feeds, making sure nothing was out of the ordinary.
No movement on any of the cameras was a good sign. The street remained empty as did the alleys. You checked the other monitors, inspecting the interior of the house you hadn’t had a chance to really see as Jongho hurried you into the hidden basement. You wondered for a moment who owned this place. Turning briefly away from the wall of monitors, you found yourself looking at the desk more closely and noticed several newspaper clippings.
You picked up one about the murders at Dunham Towers and as you set it aside, something else caught your attention. Another newspaper clipping but this one seemed much older than the others. You shifted the pages on top of it to reveal an extremely old picture of a man in a suit, standing with a woman in a Victorian era dress. The face of the woman was smudged with what looked like ink.
The headline read ‘WEALTHY BUSINESS MAN AND FIANCEE GO MISSING’ but your attention was drawn towards the man as you lifted the newspaper and inspected it. Your eyes widened in shock as you recognized him. ‘Seonghwa?’
A soft gasp escaped you as you stared at the picture, the unmistakable face of the Keeper of the Keys stared back at you from the printed paper. “No,” you whispered softly, lips parted in shock, your breath coming in shallow breaths. ‘What is this doing here?’ you wondered. ‘What does it mean?’ Your eyes shifted to the woman in the photo. ‘And who is this woman?’
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the lock disarming and the door opening. You dropped the clipping back on the desk as Jongho entered the room, looking equal parts relieved and concerned. As he shut the door behind him, he rearmed the alarm system and turned to face you.
“I’ve informed my superiors. I told him I have evidence potentially linking Herrera to the murders but that I’m staying at a safehouse. He told me to stay put and we can meet later to hand over the files,” he explained. “So we’re stuck here for the night,” he added.
Silence fell over the two of you as you stood by the desk. Jongho made his way over, setting his phone down and looking over the camera feeds. You looked away, glancing down at your hands and picking at your shirt. Jongho said nothing, only inhaled deeply before speaking.
“Are you hungry?”
After half an hour, you sat at the table, a warm meal in front of you. “Thanks,” you said softly as Jongho picked up his fork. “No problem,” he replied, giving you a warm smile. The two of you ate mostly in silence with Jongho occasionally glancing at the camera feeds behind you.
When you glanced up, you noticed him staring. “What is it?” you asked, glancing behind you at the cameras, wondering if he’d seen something on one of the feeds. Turning back you noticed it wasn’t the monitors he was staring at.
It was you.
“Do I have something on my face?” you asked softly. A smile spread slowly across his face before he shook his head. “No,” he answered, looking back down at his food. “Then what is it?” you asked. “Nothing,” he replied. “You’re just really pretty,” he added. “I haven’t really had a chance to look at you but seeing you now,” he continued. “I can see that you are really, very pretty.”
You felt your cheeks burned and quickly you busied yourself with your food. “Sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?” Jongho asked and you looked up to meet his gaze. “No it’s not that,” you replied, setting your fork down now that you were finished eating. “I just… I don’t know. Wasn’t expecting you to say that,” you finally stated. “Just caught me off guard.”
Jongho set his own utensil down, sitting back in his chair. You chanced a glance at him and found him already watching you. Just as quickly as you looked, you tore your gaze from his. Jongho cleared his throat. “Are you finished?” he asked as he got to his feet, reaching for your plate. “Oh, I can do that,” you said, reaching for the plate.
Your hands met and it was like a shock of static electricity went through you, paired with an indescribable burning sensation. Like before, it was just hot. Heat pulsated throughout your body but it wasn’t painful. It was… intense and almost like a yearning.
The detective must have felt it too because he hesitated, eyes meeting yours as you both tried to grasp what just happened between you. Instead of saying anything, you quickly stood, taking the momentary pause to take the plates from Jongho and moved to the kitchenette to wash the plates.
You could feel Jongho’s eyes follow you as you moved but said nothing. As you rinsed the soap off the plates, you could hear quiet footsteps approaching. When you finally set the plates aside to dry, one of Jongho’s hands turned the water off and you were suddenly aware of his proximity to you.
Neither of you said anything as he pressed closer, your back against his chest. Your breathing grew unsteady as you felt one hand on your hip, gentle and unmoving. “Are you tired?” he asked in your ear, his voice low and breath hot against your skin.
You shook your head slowly. “No,” you breathed, too afraid to speak any louder or he might hear how unsteady your voice and breathing were becoming. You felt his hand slide slowly up to your waist, stopping at the curve above your hip. He heard your breath hitch as his other hand rested on the other side of your waist.
“Do you want me to stop?” he whispered. Inhaling slowly, you turned in his hold to face him, your eyes studying his face that was so close to you now. The curve of his cheek, the fullness of his lips and his dark brown eyes as they dipped to look briefly at your own lips before meeting your gaze once more.
Shaking your head slightly, you turned more to face him, his hands not budging. “No,” you finally answered his question which was still lingering in the air. “I don’t want you to stop,” you clarified. One of his hands moved to cup the back of your neck, eyes searching your face before you nodded. “Go ahead,” you whispered.
With your consent, he pulled you into a kiss, his lips crashing against yours. You melted against him, lips parting and allowing him to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth. The moment your lips had met, it was like a fire ignited inside of you, searing your skin from inside. He must have felt it too because his hands immediately worked to remove his jacket.
Your hands moved to help pull the offending article off and once it fell to the floor, neither one of you could be stopped. Jongho pulled you from the sink, tugging at your clothes, your own hands pulling at his. The two of you managed to make your way to the bed, nearly stumbling over your own feet several times. In a haste, you kicked off your shoes before falling onto the bed while Jongho rid himself of his own shoes and climbed on after you.
Settling into the middle of the mattress, your lips met again in a frenzy of tongue, gasps, and stifled moans as you both desperately tried to undress the other. You had his shirt half unbuttoned before he grabbed your hands and pinned your wrists against the sheets. “Stay like that,” he ordered, the tone of authority in his voice sending a shiver up your spine and making you whine.
Without another word, Jongho’s hands moved to your pants, undoing your belt and dropping it on the floor. His fingers worked to undo the button and zipper before he finally freed and rid you of your pants, tugging them down your thighs, also discarding them on the floor with your belt.
Leaning over, he took you in a searing kiss, hands gliding up your stomach and over your chest, briefly pausing over your breast before moving to undo the buttons of your shirt. “Let me,” you started and moved your hands but he grabbed them and again pinned them against the bed. “Don’t move,” he said firmly. “Stay like that,” he added but the next words out of his mouth had you raising an eyebrow.
“Or else.”
You stared up at him. “What are you going to do?” you bit back. “Handcuff me?”
Jongho’s eyes narrowed and just like that, he was sitting back up, grabbing the handcuffs from his belt and guiding you to scoot up closer to the headboard. Once he deemed you were in place, you felt the cold steel against your skin as he closed the metal around your wrist. You glanced up, watching as he guided the open end of the cuffs through the bars of the headboard before taking your free hand and closing the cuff around your wrist, locking you in place and unable to move your hands.
“Stay,” he said jokingly, knowing full well you couldn’t go anywhere. Your chest rose and fell as he lowered himself, pressing feather light kisses against your neck and exposed collar. His hands moved back to undo the buttons of your shirt, revealing the black lace of your bralette underneath.
He left a trail of kisses down your chest, moving further down your stomach until he reached the thin waistband of your black lace panties. He glanced up at you, an amused smirk on his face. “Are the cuffs too tight?” he asked. You shook your head. “No,” you answered, swallowing thickly. “Not too uncomfortable?” he asked, to which you shook your head again.
“Good,” he simply said before pulling back. You were about to ask what he was doing when his hands skimmed up your thighs, tucked under your panties and started to pull them down in a slow, deliberate manner, his eyes never leaving yours. Your skin burned all over, from both his gaze and from his touch.
Once he’d pulled your panties off entirely, he set them aside, hands gliding to your knees which were pressed together, hiding your slick core from his view. His eyes remained trained on your face, holding your gaze as he coaxed your legs open. With your knees parted, his eyes dipped down to take in the sight and you watched as he studied your body, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.
Silence fell over you, filling the room as neither of you spoke nor moved.
After what felt like hours but in reality was probably just a few seconds, Jongho finally moved. He leaned over you, one hand sliding under the back of your neck as his lips met yours. You melted into the kiss moaning against his lips as his other hand snaked between your bodies, the pads of his fingers brushing against your folds before he effortlessly spread them, his tongue slipping past your lips and swallowing the muffled moans and whimpers you let out as his fingers lightly teased.
The strokes were slow at first, circling your clit and occasionally dipping down to skim over your entrance, almost as if testing what you liked and what you reacted to the most. He continued this, teasing and toying with you before you finally felt his fingers slide into you, your warm walls welcoming the intrusion. His movements were methodical, deliberate, and they drove you insane.
He moved slightly, the friction just enough to keep you on edge but not enough to build. Your hips started to move on their own accord, wordlessly begging for more. The moment that he understood you were asking for more from him, he didn’t hold back. His fingers plunged deeper into you, curling against your walls. Your back arched a moan sounding from the back of your throat.
“You know you can be as loud as you want, right?” Jongho said softly, his eyes scanning your face as he continued his movements. “Kinda hard to make any noise when your tongue is down my throat,” you countered, letting out a gasp as his fingers delved deeper. “Well, it’s not now,” he argued.
Your thighs started to shake as you felt your orgasm approaching, your walls clenching around his fingers. “Come on,” you heard him urge, thumb brushing over your clit as his fingers continued to work your cunt. “You’re holding back. Just let go.” At his words, the tension building in your tummy snapped, your orgasm washing over you accompanied by a slew of curses and moans.
As you came down from your high, Jongho moved to uncuff your hands, releasing one. You felt his hand cup the curve of your cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice gentle. You nodded slowly. “M’okay,” you answered. “Do you want to stop?” he whispered, to which you shook your head. You heard him chuckle lightly. “Good,” he added.
You let out a giggle as he turned you over onto your stomach. “What’re you doing?” you asked as he pulled your shirt off before grabbing your free hand and pulling both of them behind your back. You chuckled as he took your hands but the click of metal made your smile fall and your eyes widen. You felt the cool steel against your wrists again and felt it tighten, biting slightly into your skin.
“No going back now,” Jongho said. You heard the sound of his own belt and pants as he undid them. “If you want me to stop at any point,” he started but you shook your head fervently. “I’ve made up my mind. Don’t stop.” you replied, raising your head so he could hear your voice clearly.
The air was thick with tension as your body trembled with anticipation. Seconds stretched on and just when you were about to ask Jongho what he was waiting for, you felt the tip of his cock brush against your slit followed quickly by its intrusion. You let out a low moan as he slid into you, your warm walls welcoming each inch.
Jongho stilled and you heard his breath hitch. Raising your head, you were about to ask if he was okay but instead, you let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a cry as he thrusted into you, quickly bottoming out. “Fuck,” you heard him exhale, his hands gripping your hips tightly. “So fucking tight.”
Not giving you a chance to answer, the detective started moving almost immediately, one hand moving to your cuffed wrists. He grabbed hold of the chain linking the cuffs together and set a steady pace, his thrusts shallow. Your moans started as breathless, low sounds, quickly evolving into loud, wanton cries of pleasure as the pace shifted, turning into deep, powerful strokes.
Your voice reverberated off the walls of the bunker room, drowning out Jongho’s low moans and groans. “Fuck,” he growled. “So tight but look at you taking it like you were made for it.” You responded with moans as he pulled the cuffs back towards him. “Already can’t speak?” he asked, a slight hint of condescension in his voice. “I’ve barely even started and you’re already fucked out?”
You shook your head, even though it was a lie. Each thrust cleared your mind, rendering you unable to speak but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction so you forced yourself to speak. Taking the time to formulate the words properly in your head.
“No,” you gasped. “Not fucked out.” You heard him chuckle. “You’re not?” he asked, that same hint of condescension still in his voice. You shook your head quickly. “No,” you repeated. “In fact,” you continued. “I’d say you’re not fucking me hard enough.”
That shut him up and initially, you were afraid you’d gone too far too quickly. Jongho was only silent for a beat before you felt his hand move, releasing the cuffs which left you unbalanced and your chest fell back to the mattress.
“Not fucking you hard enough?” he finally asked. His hands gripped your hips tightly. “You want it harder?” he asked as you turned your head to the side, your cheek pressed against the sheets. “Come on,” you encouraged. “Really give it to me. It feels like you aren’t even trying.”
You could see out of the corner of your eye that his smirk faltered for a moment before it turned into something darker, more mischievous. “Fine,” he simply said, his voice void of the sarcasm and condescension from moments ago. “You want it harder, I’ll give it to you harder.”
You opened your mouth to retort but your words were cut short when he gave you a hard thrust, slamming into you and making you cry out, a mix of pain and pleasure rippling throughout your body. The pain was only for a split second, outlasted by the pleasure that followed.
Jongho didn’t stop at one, he continued his relentless and now merciless assault, pounding into you with a renewed strength and vigor. Each thrust had you moaning loudly, bordering on screams as the pleasure mounted quickly. Your orgasm approached rapidly and soon, you were tumbling over the edge with tears in your eyes.
“Aww, you gonna cry?” you heard him ask, his voice laced with venom. It wasn’t downright mean but it was certainly degrading. “Don’t cry,” he continued. “You asked for this, you little slut.” His words were accompanied by a harsh slap to your ass, making you gasp, your body jolting.
Jongho let out a groan as your walls clenched around his cock. “So that’s what you like, huh?” he asked with an edge of amusement. “You like it rough. Like being fucked and punished?” You could only moan in response. The shockwaves of your first orgasm washed over you as another was rapidly approaching.
You cried out again as another slap against your skin rang out, causing your cunt to spasm. Each smack had been hard, painful even, but the pain ebbed quickly, drowned out by pleasure almost immediately. Your entire body felt as if it were on fire. From the powerful thrusts, the stretch of his cock, the cold steel of the cuffs biting into your skin, your arms locked behind you, and the degrading way he spoke to you, it was all overwhelming, overstimulating.
Jongho didn’t let up either. He leaned over, one of his hands sliding under your neck and pulling you up from the mattress, your back pressing against his chest. You hadn’t been able to see him properly before but you could feel the material of his shirt against your exposed skin and knew he was still partially clothed. You let out a choked gasp as his fingers tightened around your throat.
Jongho let out a low, derisive chuckle. “And you like being choked? What’s next? You gonna tell me you like it when I call you a whore?” A strained moan answered him and his chuckle turned into a harsh laugh. “Of course you do,” he said. He quickly let go of your neck, letting you fall back down against the sheets.
Throughout all this, his movements never faltered, his hips continuing the same relentless pace as before. It made you wonder how long this would last. How long could he go for? He seemed to be in pretty good physical shape but everyone had their limits.
Right?
You were brought out of your thoughts by another smack to your backside, your body responding in kind. It made you acutely aware of the aching: in your thighs, your knees, your shoulders. You’d been locked in this position for some time but you weren’t sure how long it had been.
Your skin was damp, a layer of sweat making the cool air of the room bite at your exposed skin a little more. The inside of your thighs were slick, the remnants of two orgasms. Your cheeks were stained, the tears from both orgasms having come and went. You could feel exhaustion creeping in.
You needed Jongho to finish, otherwise you were going to be very, very sore.
With barely any leverage, you tried to push back to meet his thrusts. Gaining a sense of what you were doing. Jongho stilled for a moment. “Here,” he said, his voice much gentler than it had been mere moments ago. You felt his hands fumble with the cuffs and finally, you were able to move your arms, carefully at first because you didn’t want to injure yourself.
“Put your hands together,” he instructed. You did as he asked, placing your hands near one another in front of you. “Close the cuffs.” Again, you followed his instructions. With your hands now in front of you, you were able to hold onto the sheets. Jongho resumed, building back up to the same pace and now, with your arms in a much more comfortable position, you were able to fully push back to meet his hips.
You heard him swear under his breath, his grip on your hips almost bruising. “Keep going,” he urged. You felt one of his hands slide up your back, fingers curling around the back of your bralette. “Fuck, just like that,” he groaned, head falling back, his eyes sliding shut as he lost himself in the pleasure.
Your walls tightened around him as another orgasm built but this time you were determined to take him with you over the edge and after a few more well timed and angled thrusts, Jongho let out a slew of curses, both in English and in Korean which you hadn’t heard him speak before. Your own orgasm hit you like a wave, thighs shaking. You felt heat pool in your stomach as Jongho emptied himself into you.
His hips finally stilled and he slumped over slightly, breathing heavily. Finally, after a couple moments, he straightened up and carefully pulled out of you, letting out a hiss and something that sounded suspiciously like ‘shit.’
“Don’t move,” he said softly, all edge gone from his voice as you felt him climb off the bed and heard his feet shuffle away and towards the bathroom. You heard the tap turn on briefly and then heard him start to shuffle back and looked up as he exited the bathroom. He’d done up his pants and headed back over to the bed where he sat down behind you.
Your body jolted as you felt him press a warm soft cloth against your skin and started to carefully clean you off. He wiped away the dried cum from your thighs and around your entrance, making sure you were properly wiped off.
Once he was satisfied, he moved to undo the cuffs and you sat back on your heels. Jongho took your hands, inspecting your wrists which were red and had slight impressions from the steel. “Are you alright?” he asked, prompting you to look up and meet his gaze. You nodded. Jongho folded the cloth over, using a clean part to gently wipe your face.
“Sorry if I was too rough,” he continued quietly, to which you shook your head. “It’s okay,” you replied, giving him a smile. “I wanted it.” A shy smile graced his lips and he dropped his gaze as he gently rubbed your wrists. “Come on,” he said as he stood and helped you up to your feet.
“We probably need a shower.”
The next morning, you woke to find yourself in bed with Jongho, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. The lights were off but the light from the monitors bathed the room in an eerie glow. You rolled slightly over onto your back, turning your head to look at Jongho who was sleeping peacefully.
Turning your head back, you noticed something you hadn’t seen the night before.
Hanging on the wall near the monitors was a large key shaped object. Carefully, you removed Jongho’s arm and got up, quietly tiptoeing over the scattered clothes on the floor, a reminder of the second and third round you’d gone for with the detective.
You cautiously approached the monitors but your eyes were on the key. You glanced behind you at Jongho who was still sound asleep. The key was solid, heavy looking, and bore an insignia. Squinting your eyes, you realized it was the same insignia as the one on the box. The same as the tattoo on Jongho’s neck.
‘This is the key,’ you told yourself. ‘He really is the guardian!’
Glancing once more at Jongho, you turned back to grab the key and as your fingers closed around the metal, something else caught your eye. A figure moving in the screen nearest the key. You turned your attention to it as the key slipped off the hook, your grip on it firm. Your eyes studied the screen and it was then that you realized what you were seeing.
‘Herrera.’
Your eyes widened as you saw Detective Herrera standing on the sidewalk in front of the house. She seemed to be casing the place, checking it out. You turned to Jongho, the key still firmly in your grasp. Casting one last glance at the screens. You slipped the key around your neck, tucking it under the plain white shirt you wore, something Jongho had given you.
You rushed to the bed and gently but firmly began to shake him. “Jongho,” you whispered, your tone urgent. It didn’t take long for him to rouse and start stirring. The moment he saw you, he smiled. “Good morning,” he said groggily. “Jongho, wake up” you said again, more desperately.
Sensing the urgency in your voice he sat up quickly. “What is it?” he asked. “Herrera’s outside the house,” you replied. Jongho glanced at the screens before quickly getting out of bed and rushing over to the look at the screens. He swore softly and turned to you. “Get dressed, quickly,” he said as he turned on the lights. “There’s a back way out of the bunker. It leads to the sewer and a manhole.”
You quickly pulled on your shorts, turning to remove the shirt and pull yours on, buttoning it up and covering the key. As you pulled your socks and shoes on, Jongho had mostly dressed and was keeping an eye on the monitors. Once you were dressed, Jongho led you over to the bathroom, turning on the light and opening the medicine cabinet behind a mirror.
His fingers skimmed the inside until he found what he was looking for. He pressed down and you heard a soft click. He closed the cabinet before pulling the whole thing back, revealing a hidden hinge and a large opening behind the cabinet. “Here,” he said, opening the cabinet under the sink and reaching up under the sink. He pulled back and produced a flashlight.
“Take this and go,” he urged, pressing the flashlight into your hands. “Follow the tunnel to the end and you’ll find a ladder and the manhole,” he explained. You shook your head. “What about you?” you asked as he guided you to climb onto the sink. “I’ll be fine,” he said softly. “Just go.”
He pushed you towards the hole and you carefully climbed in but turned back. “Wait,” you said before he could close the cabinet. “Come with me,” you suggested. Jongho smiled but shook his head. “No,” he replied. “I can’t let anything happen to you. I’m giving you a chance. I can handle Herrera.” You could feel tears starting to form. “Come with me, please,” you begged but Jongho refused.
“I’ll be alright,” he said reassuringly. “Just go,” he added. You climbed back out of the hole, grabbing him by the collar and pulled him in, your lips meeting. Jongho welcomed the gesture, his hand cupping the back of your neck. When you pulled apart, he rested his forehead against yours. “I think we could have made something special,” he said softly.
Before you could respond, he gently pushed you back into the hole. “Now go, please,” he said and shut the cabinet, leaving you in total darkness. You could feel the tears on your cheeks, hot and wet. You fumbled with the flashlight and turned it on. The back of the cabinet almost blended into the surrounding walls but as you turned, you noticed the cast iron and concrete. It was a large pipe, nearly 6 feet in diameter.
With no chance of turning back, you pressed on, like Jongho had urged. The walk was long but relatively flat. You could hear distant clangs and scrapes against the concrete, each sound making you jump. Your flashlight beam bounced around as you shone the light around, making sure you were heading the right way.
The tunnel seemed to stretch on forever until the familiar sound of your shoes against the wet concrete disappeared almost instantly and instead, you were met with the creak of wood. You glanced around, shining the flashlight all around you to find you were no longer in a dark sewer tunnel but instead in a dark wooden corridor.
You pressed forward, your pace quickening as the walls turned into open shelves and you could see a door up ahead, light pouring in from the crack under it. You reached the door and desperately turned the handle but it wouldn’t budge. You quickly pulled the key from around your neck and stuck it into the keyhole, turning it until it clicked.
You wrenched open the door and tumbled through, slamming it shut behind you, gasping the cool air of the library lobby. You glanced around, finding Seonghwa approaching from the small room where his desk and bed stood. He had a look of concern on his face.
“Y/N?” he asked softly. You let out a sob and slumped down against the door, tears flowing freely. In an instant, Seonghwa was by your side, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice full of tenderness.
Instead of answering him, you pulled away and looked up at him. “Is it always going to be this hard?” you whispered. Seonghwa stared at you, his eyes studying your face. After a moment, he finally spoke. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said softly. You weren’t having that.
“Leaving them!” you shouted, as if the volume of your voice would make him suddenly understand. “Is it always going to be this hard?” Seonghwa’s expression soured slightly but he regained control before he sighed, his hand moving to gently cup your cheek. “I can’t answer that, Blossom,” he replied. “I can’t control what happens in each section. No one can.”
A fresh wave of sadness rolled over you, tears welling up again before you ducked your head, another series of broken sobs leaving your body. Seonghwa was patient, shifting to sit beside you. He wrapped an arm around you, unjudging, allowing you to cry it out.
After several minutes, your sobs had subsided, replaced with the occasional shudder and sniffle. “Is he dead?” you asked, your voice breaking the quiet. Seonghwa shook his head. “The detective is smart, resilient, and capable. He’ll be alright,” Seonghwa answered. “The woman on the other hand…”
You looked up at him, meeting his gaze and something clicked. “I saw you in there,” you finally said. Seonghwa’s expressions shifted to bewilderment. “Saw me?” he asked. “What do you mean?” You wiped your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Your picture. There was a newspaper clipping. It had your picture on it.” Seonghwa’s brow furrowed. “That’s not possible,” he whispered. “I’ve never set foot in the sections,” he continued. He looked and sounded genuinely confused.
“The headline said something about a missing business man and his fiancée,” you continued. “Missing fiancée?” Seonghwa asked suddenly, his attention snapping back to you. Nodding slowly, you studied his features. “Was…” he trailed off before clearing his throat. “Was there a picture of the fiancée?”
This time you shook your head. There had been a picture but it wasn’t clear. “Well,” you said. “There was. It was a picture of both, the business man and the fiancée but her face was smudged or something. I couldn’t make it out.” You heard Seonghwa let out a breath.
“But your face was there,” you continued, turning to look back at his face. Seonghwa said nothing and didn’t meet your gaze for a moment. “Who are you?” you asked, this time prompting him to look up, his bright red irises meeting your gaze. He contemplated for a moment, almost as if to explain but in the next breath, he dismissed your concerns, your questions, everything in your mind with a simple question.
Hear me out... yeosang greek mythology-esque AU where every few decades a maiden is sent as a sacrifice to the one they believe is the god of love and fertility. A very confused deity yeosang usually just rolls with it and puts these young ladies to sleep for a night ot two before returning them to their people (cuz that one time he just sent someone back the entire village panicked and blamed her for not being a "good enough offering" and he felt bad for a century). But this time... for some reason... he just can't take his eyes off the sleeping girl before him (there can be backstory here like he's met her before while parading as a mortal or sumin idk) and decides... maybe this time he'll keep her...
alrighty aphrodite
<yeosang x fem!reader>
every eleven years, a young maiden is chosen as sacrifice for the god of love and fertility, at least they think they do, only for Yeosang to put the sacrificed maiden to sleep because he doesn't want to deal with them.
but when it’s you being chosen to be the next maiden, Yeosang decides, maybe this time, he’s gonna keep you for himself instead.
Genre/warnings: smut with plot, (kinda) Greek god au deity yeosang x maiden!reader, mentioned elements of sacrifice (though not too heavy nor gory), unprotected sex, breeding kink, dirty talk, masturbation (m), obsessive softdom! Yeosang, he’s actually fucking whipped for you, praise kink, mentions of virginity (where reader is NOT but it’s not elaborated further), yearning!yeosang
wc: 6k
a/n: I’m sorry this took SO long to develop. Truth to be told, this prompt has been stuck at the back of my mind and boy, I really wanted to make this beauty work. Also a special thanks to @bro-atz for helping me develop (this is for you as well hehe) Enjoy! 🩷
Walking through the cold and pale marble temple, you watch the way the vines curl around the pillars, creeping its way up to get some sun. The temple is insanely huge, standing tall thanks to blocky pillars, with intricate carvings, which you identify as white marble being slowly overtaken by soft moss and stubborn vines.
You know, despite the gorgeous temple, its practices to serve Aphrodite were but.
Despite the anxiety you feel, you know you could do not much to fight against the elders and their ridiculous traditions. For centuries, chosen maidens by the fertility deity have been offered to appease the gods for the blessings of fertility of the town’s land and women every 11 years. No one knew how the gods looked like, but it seemed that every time a maiden was sent, the fields would bloom and flourish, couples would be blessed with a pregnancy.
Of course, why wouldn’t they continue this ridiculous tradition?
And this year, you were chosen.
You remember the last conversation you had with your mother before you had stepped foot into the temple.
“I’ll come back mother. Weren’t there rumours that one of the maidens managed to come back?”
Your mother’s index finger flew to her lips. “Be careful of what you utter, my daughter. They don’t like the reminder that their choice was rejected.”
You blinked at her, recalling the incident where one of the maidens got “returned” right after the ceremony and from what you could remember, led the elders to grow furious on top of anxious, then demanding that another sacrifice to be made, since the maiden was now considered “rejected” by the deity. The poor girl. Surely this deity couldn’t be that picky, right?
You continue to thread the path before you, the soles of your feet getting used to the coldness of the marble floor by now.
You enter the fountain room, and as its title, sits a large marble fountain, a statue lady draped over with a long piece of fabric looking down onto three cupids that spit out water, while she, herself pours water out of a vase.
The sound of flowing water could honestly put you to sleep, if it wasn’t a curt reminder that you’re meant to drown here. Rose petals decorate and almost fully cover the surface of the bottomless fountain. Maybe it was a ploy to at least relax the previous maidens. There are a handful of people, all dressed in white robes that hide their faces, while the elders are dressed in ivory.
“There she is. Beautiful y/n”, the elder woman smiles, the emotion not reaching her eyes. You force a smile back. “Come, the water’s not cold.”
You dip your toes in.
The water is fucking cold.
“Think of it as a blessing to us, that you’re doing a gracious service to the village”, another elder curtly reminds you while she tosses more rose petals into the fountain.
Two other women lie you down onto the water and more petals are strewn across the surface. Your hair is wet by now and so is your dress. You cringe at how cold the water is biting against your skin but you bear with it.
The older woman turns around.
“We are gathered here today to witness the blessing Aphrodite will be giving us. We pray that the maiden reaches the goddess safely and may she stay in good hands”, she announces with clasped hands.
“May Aphrodite bless us all.” She yells, her hands raised to the heavens, before the two hooded elders beside her shove your body into the fountain, sinking you to the depths, the last thing you’re hearing are loud chants that gradually become muted as you slowly accept your fate.
A familiar hymn plays, and it catches Yeosang’s attention.
“The maiden offering is here”, his Cupid announces.
Yeosang only sighs in defeat, annoyed that his rose gardening has been interrupted, muttering how these mortals were being ridiculous, while still walking over to his marble foundation, careful not the crush the roses that had fallen onto the grass.
“I genuinely have no idea how to stop these people from sending women down the fountain”, he complains to nobody in particular.
“Why not just appear in front of them and tell them you’re the deity?” The little Cupid suggests as he floats beside Yeosang.
He turns to his minion with folded arms. “No way. These people would pelt me with stones before they even decide to give me a chance to prove that I am. I’ll just do the usual.”
“Put them to sleep and then tie a red string on their ankles?”
“-to make sure they don’t get hurt or freak out or something. Then send them back up when enough time has passed.”, he continues with a small pout. “I’m still shocked at the way they freaked out when I sent the previous one back four decades ago.”
The Cupid purses his lips, listening to Yeosang rant about this for the nth time ever since he took over the temple and the rituals started every 11 decades as they near the fountain.
He continues his rant up till he reaches the fountain. “Besides, none of them they send are ever my cup of tea. I’m sure this one’s not any-“
Then Yeosang immediately quietens down when his eyes land on the sleeping maiden before him. His Cupid casts him a confused glance, then back to the maiden on the fountain, wondering what suddenly silenced Yeosang.
It’s just another maiden, his Cupid thinks.
On the contrary, Yeosang can’t seem to keep his eyes off the maiden who’s unconscious, covered in rose petals like the previous maidens. What made her so different? He doesn’t know, but there’s a strange tinge of familiarity when he rests his eyes on your sleeping figure.
The cupid’s eyes widen when Yeosang personally picks you up from the water with his bare hands. He never did that to the previous maidens, for he would complain about getting his robes wet.
He sets you down on the cloud bed, watching how you’re breathing softly while he waits for the cupids to hand him a spare robe for you to change into.
“Yeosang, aren’t you gonna change out?” His Cupid asks as he hands Yeosang the fresh set of robes.
You stir from your slumber, feeling softness against your skin. You slowly open your eyes, before you remember what happened, and you shoot up, soaking in the unfamiliar environment surrounding you. It’s a beautiful, spacious, and airy room. Your eyes land on a male who’s fitting stalks of roses into a glass vase.
“In a bit”, Yeosang replies, his eyes not lifting from you.
He turns to you just in time, and you freeze.
Oh gods, he’s stunning. His eyes are a shade of gray that makes him look all the more dreamy, and his lashes are long. His hair is a soft platinum blonde, contrasted by the bright red roses that rest on his hair. He looks like a statue himself.
“You’re awake”, he greets with a curt nod.
“You’re-“
“—Aphrodite‘s descendant, Deity Kang Yeosang”, the flying child announces.
“Oh! Pardon my rudeness, Deity”, you squeak, going on your knees, your hands on the cold, marble ground.
But Yeosang has his hands around you, lifting you up. “You don’t need to-“
“Oh but I should. You’ve been blessing our village with bountiful fields and beautiful children. It’s only right that I bow on their behalf”, you insist. Yeosang is speechless, mostly because it’s the first time that he has allowed a maiden to be conscious around his quarters, and that he’s speaking to one. He doesn’t really know what to do, let alone why he even did that in the first place.
Yeosang looks away sheepishly. “It’s part of my job. Please, you may rise.” Despite his seemingly soft demeanour, you realise how chiseled his arms are, his muscles lifting you up together with him. When you’re finally facing him, you can’t help but wonder if this was the view that every maiden had—and that maybe it’s not so bad after all.
Yeosang practically gave you the living quarters you woke up in, in which you were obviously thankful, offering for any help in exchange for it. Yeosang declined but you insisted, telling him you should repay him, so he decides to let you tend to one of his rose gardens around the temple.
It had been a few days since.
By then, you had warmed up to the deity, spending time with him in the gardens, exchanging stories. Through these interactions, you realise how mellow and soft Yeosang is—usually stories of gods warn of them being picky, petty and sometimes, even wrathful. Yeosang didn’t seem to tick all of these boxes. It seemed like he would rather tend to his myriad rose gardens and caring for his cupids.
“Has anyone told you you’re absolutely beautiful, Yeosang?” You say, missing the way his ears are turning as pink like the roses that lie on his head. The both of you are cutting off the fresh buds that bloomed to collect the petals that afternoon.
Yeosang’s cheeks flushes, rubbing the nape of his neck with a smile. It’s no different from what he always hears, especially as Aphrodite’s descendant, but to hear it from you makes him feel flustered for some reason.
“I mean not just how you look, but the way you treat the things around you.”
“I’m not following”, a confused Yeosang replies, and it makes you giggle.
“I’m saying, you’re gentle and kind too.”
Gentle and kind. Of course he is, considering that has been something he’s been his whole life. It’s well known how much of a temperamental and petty his ascendant had been known to be, and he knows he’s not like that.
Distracted by his thoughts, he feels a sharp pain shoot in his finger. He flinches and pulls his hand away, realising his finger has been cut by a rose thorn.
This has never happened before.
"Are you okay? Let me see-" you interject, taking his hand to inspect if the cut was deep, and you instinctually place his finger against your lips to suck on his skin.
Yeosang's heartbeat is climbing at an exponential rate right now, wondering why do your lips feel so soft. Would it feel as soft if it wasn't just on his fingers? How would you taste against him?
"Are you okay, Yeosang?" your voice snaps him out of his rapidly growing crooked thoughts. His eyes meet yours and he forces a smile, letting himself enjoy the way you're gently stroking his fingers. He thinks it feels nice.
"It doesn't hurt. Don't worry", his voice lowers a pitch, his gaze softening as he watches the way your hands go from stroking his injured finger to playing around with the rest of his fingers, thinking it would help ease the sting.
Yeosang places his hand on your cheek, gently stroking against your skin and his smile spreads to you.
“Thank you. I’ll go and wash the wound. Don’t worry about it, really. It’s just a small cut”, he assures, almost reluctant to leave your side when you let him go, and he walks back to his chambers.
As he rinses his hands, Yeosang's cupid floats to his side, watching the way his deity has his eyes locked onto the maiden.
“You haven't sent her back up, Yeosang. I’ve never seen you do that.”
Yeosang doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to reply.
There is silence for a while, as the Cupid watches Yeosang bloom the roses.
“How long will you keep her?”
Yeosang watches the way you smell the roses from his bedroom window. His heart flutters.
“For a little longer.”
You watch the rain fall and hit the leaves from the window of your room. The room is spacious, much too spacious for your liking. It wasn't you that you didn't hate being in the temple, having Yeosang and his little Cupids around were comforting, but during some days, the thorns of being home sick would prick you.
Something is starting to bubble in Yeosang when his thoughts drift to you as night falls. Unfortunately, he seems to have realised it too late.
Undoubtedly, the incident of Yeosang getting pricked by his rose bushes closed the distance between the both you. And that night, you realise you didn’t want to sleep alone.
That night, Yeosang is still up, his concentration on finishing a book he had bought from the mortal realm. Then he hears a soft knock on his open door.
His gazes flies to his door, his heart speeding up when he sees that it’s you standing at his doorway.
“Is it okay for me to intrude?” You ask. “I feel lonely in such a big room.”
Yeosang blinks before remembering to respond.
“Sure. There’s plenty of space on the bed”, he offers, shifting uselessly on the large bed to make space for you. You break into a smile, crawling into his shared space, the comfort of having Yeosang by your side already easing your worries.
“What are you reading?” You ask, peeking over to his book trapped in his long fingers.
He tips the book to show you the cover.
“I got it at the marketplace.”
Your eyes brighten.
“Right! You can travel to the mortal realm”, you remember him briefly mentioning it to you.
He nods. “I can bring you back to the village from time to time to get stuff if you want.”
“You can bring me back?”
“I try to, discreetly, I guess. The mortals in the village for some reason didn’t like it when I brought back one of the maidens back directly once.”
Suddenly, the pieces start to fall into place. It’s all starting to make sense.
Yeosang doesn’t realise he’s frowning. “You…yearn to go back there?” The words taste bitter in his mouth while he waits for your answer.
“Well, I’ve grown rather attached to this place actually. But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go back from time to time. You can send me back whenever you’re ready to, Yeosang”, you reply.
Oh gods. Yeosang was internally preparing for the worst but for now, he’s satisfied with whatever arrangement he has with you. He’s never had a maiden stay longer than this, and he’s getting very comfortable with your companionship.
You stifle a yawn, eyelids growing heavy. Your fingers brush against his playfully, and it gets his attention even though his eyes are empty on the pages of his book.
“You’re my favourite thing about this temple”, you mutter, shutting your eyes. Yeosang freezes in his spot, his heart hammering in his chest.
“I think you’re my favourite thing about being a deity”, is his delayed reply. When he turns to gaze upon you, you’re asleep—comfortable and calm—just a hair’s breadth away from him.
That night, he had the most comfortable night of sleep since the past few decades.
Since then, your own bed in your quarters grew cold, and Yeosang’s bed only grew warmer as you continued to seek comfort with the deity.
Yeosang wouldn’t lay his hands on you, even though he was fine with your small touches. He’d grown accustomed to it.
Nonetheless, it doesn’t change the fact that his heartbeat accelerates when he feels you shift closer to him and lean your head against his arm or shoulder—whichever you felt like it—while you join him in reading whatever novel he has his nose buried into.
Your hair brushes gently against his skin again, and it’s making him more jumpy than usual for some reason. Is it the way that he’s conscious of how physically close you are to him? Is it the way that your scent surrounds him like a veil recently? Is it the way your laughter sounds more beautiful than the hymns the harps could play?
He glances down at you, realising you’ve fallen into slumber, your breathing light. Yeosang smiles, his gaze landing on your face.
Then the scent of you hits—sweet and intense—it makes Yeosang’s mind cloud. He feels his body warm up, and his eyes trail down from your face to your bare shoulders—where the strap of your nightgown had slipped past your shoulder—the lace trimming of your nightwear had lowered down your chest, revealing your soft breasts just shy of your nipples—
Fuck. Yeosang’s mind is on its road to being a goner. The discomfort that’s starting to bulge against his robes being the biggest indicator.
He seeps deeper into his twisted fantasies, letting his hand slip down to palm his thickness, groans leaving his lips soft and controlled enough so that he doesn’t wake you up. His suppressed fantasies start to bubble to the surface—flashes of you in between his legs, your tongue lapping his nectar from his base to the tip, then struggling to take his cock full into your pretty mouth. Shit. It’s driving him to the edge. Yeosang swallows hard. He knows that everything about this is so wrong, but he can’t help it. The pleasure trickling into his veins and the risk of getting caught if he’s too loud—it only adds onto the rush that his cock is feeling, and he’s fucking loving it.
The robe is slowly shed off his chiseled body, the speed of his hand fucking his cock increasing when his fantasies start turning to you above him, settling onto his cock, eyes so glazed out and pretty for him while he spilts you open. He dreams of melting into your velvet heat and it only makes more precum leak out of his cockhead while he struggles to keep his breathing slow.
He eyes flutter shut, a strained moan slipping past his lips. He doesn’t know how you’re not being awoken by now, but frankly, he doesn’t care.
And when you shift in your sleep slightly, accompanying your movements with a sleepy groan, it only makes Yeosang’s predicament worse. He watches the way your top has completely slipped down, your nipple growing perky and hard from the cool air. Oh, what he’d do get a taste of it between his lips.
The sounds of his hand fucking grow louder when his thoughts grow wilder when he wonders how you’d taste between your legs—sweet like the nectar of the roses you grow for him maybe.
The precum seeping only grows white and thicker, the sensitivity burning through his body, making Yeosang press his head deeper against his pillows, his hand movements more desperate.
When his fantasies reach to one of you cumming and fluttering with tears in your eyes on his cock, Yeosang bursts with a broken cry of your name, his white and thick cum making a mess of his body and undone robe. His breathing is shaky, staring at the thick cum that stained his hand under the silver moonlight.
It was then the realisation looms over him--there's no way it's possible to send you back up. Not when the need to hear you scream and cry his name is creeping into his veins like the thorny vines of his rose bush.
“With all these roses around, doesn’t Yeosang get sick of the smell?” You ask the Cupid while your hands are busy snipping off the buds.
He shrugs. “I guess he’s used to it.”
The Cupid casts another glance to the rose bush, furrowing his eyebrows, seemingly reflecting his confusion.
“Although, you’re not wrong—the roses recently seem to smell stronger, and I’ve never seen buds this dark before.”
“Something wrong with the roses?” You hear the soft deep voice echo through your ears.
“Yeosang!”, you exclaim, realising the subtle change in him—the roses that sit around his pale hair like flower crown are now as dark as the roses on the rose bush.
You absentmindedly reach out to touch the roses on his hair, amazed by the deep crimson hue. “No, Cupid and I were just mesmerised at how pretty the dark roses are, actually.”
His smile fills your stomach with butterflies.
“Were you? I’m glad you and Cupid seem to like them.”
Yeosang lets his hands linger on your cheek for a moment longer, his warm spreading through your skin.
“I’ll see you tonight as usual, y/n?”
You nod, but for some reason, the expression Yeosang casts you sets a whole cage of butterflies into your stomach.
He’s satisfied with your answer and he doesn’t hesitate to press his lips to your temple, the smell of roses floating around you, before he strolls back to his quarters, humming to himself.
For some reason, something feels a little different that night.
You walk into Yeosang’s chambers as usual, as you always do. He has his novel in his hands, but his eyes glance at you at his doorway the moment he feels your presence.
You slide into his bed, like you always have done, noticing the comforting warmth that the deity radiated seemed slightly a little hotter than usual. But you attribute it to the fact that it had been pouring quite a bit lately, including tonight.
The moment you crawled into Yeosang's space, he has his palm spread over your exposed thigh, his warmth spreading across your skin.
“Isn't someone eager today”, you tease, absentmindedly returning his touch, much to Yeosang's surprise.
“It's been cold lately, and your warmth is the only thing I've grown used to”, Yeosang replies with a gentle smile, and it makes your stomach burst with butterflies.
“As with you”, you giggle, inching closer to the male.
Yeosang reflects your bloom with a soft smile, before his attention returns to his book. You rest yourself against his arm, as you always do.
This night, Yeosang realises he can't concentrate on reading, not when he's hyper aware of the floral shampoo that's emitting off you. You've always been using the same floral shampoo, so why does the smell seem to come off stronger this time?
His thoughts are then interrupted when he hears you soft sigh as you shift your weight against his arm, his eyes locked at the way the strap of your nightgown slips past your shoulder once more, the gown dropping slightly lower, barely revealing your soft and perky nipples.
Yeosang doesn't realise his fingers are clamping onto the pages, hard.
He averts his gaze back to the book that he knows it's pointless to get back to, so he shuts it.
Your eyes rake over his bothered expression, and your mind swims with worry.
“Are you okay, Yeosang?”
Yeosang turns his attention to you, forcing a smile. His words come out uncertain, “of course. I just need a breather. Give me a second, y/n.” He drops the book onto his nightstand before he leaves the bed to the balcony. You decide it's best to leave him be, while you keep yourself busy with the pile of books Yeosang bought for you on his nightstand.
Yeosang is barely confident that he's finally composed himself, but he decides to enter his room once he feels his heart gradually slow. He brushes off the crimson rose petals that had landed on his shoulder.
Since when have his petals gotten this red?
He returns back to his room, and all of that self preservation immediately falls apart when the view before him on his bed is you–relaxed, with the sheets off you, your bare legs in full view for him to take in, your sheer nightgown bunched up to your thighs as your nose is deep into your novel.
Yeosang remains silent as he inches towards to your side of the bed, and his movements definitely catch your attention. You look up and your eyes meet his, trailing him as he slowly settles down right in front of you.
“Can I help you?” You tease, shutting the book. Yeosang doesn't answer, but rather, he lets his fingers dance along your leg, and up until he pauses at your knee.
You watch the way his eyes glimmer against the moonlight, then how it highlights his features like a marble statue.
He's leaning closer.
His eyes are downcast for a second before they find the resolve to meet yours.
“Could I…?” he mutters, shyness reflected in his gaze.
His palm is flat against your knee now, and he's warm to the touch.
You're suddenly feeling curious yet shy. You lower your gaze when you feel his palm press against your cheek, then lean in. His hands feel like comfort. Your eyes flutter open and you meet Yeosang’s stare.
His mind is going haywire when you look at him like that.
There is tension in the air, silence so loud you could hear two hearts fluttering if you listened hard enough.
“Please”, you reply softly, loud enough for him to hear.
Before you could process it, Yeosang leans in for a deep kiss, determined to steal your breath and heart away as his lips collide against yours. He traps you against the bed, and your hands are around his neck, slowly lingering on his soft locks of hair.
Red petals are slowly filling up the white spaces on the white sheets as Yeosang grows greedy–he’s pulled away from your lips, now he's messing with your cheek, then your jawline, then down your neck. His hands are going down. You gasp when you feel him cup your breasts. There's no way he doesn't feel your nipples grow harder through the thin fabric, and he makes full use of it to pinch and roll in between his fingertips, the sparks going right to your soaked pussy.
Yeosang lets you off momentarily, and the strange glint in his eyes don't go unnoticed by you. Too caught up in the moment though, you let him continue with whatever he wants to do. He continues kissing down south, teasing you with the fact that he's not letting his lips touch your skin directly. Every soft gasp and sigh he hears from you is his reward.
Then, he stops right at the wet patch of fabric in between your legs.
You swear his eyes form hearts.
“You're already so wet for me?” He asks, which doesn't come off much as a question. His finger grazes along the damp fabric, and the wetness spreads even more. It’s driving Yeosang off the edge. You're driving Yeosang off the edge.
All Yeosang is thinking is that you're such a perfect gift. He wouldn't have asked for more.
The perfect offering.
Perfect for him to ruin.
A thought crosses Yeosang’s mind–how far can he get your thin and useless panties soaked? He nuzzles against the warm and sticky fabric, trying his best to ignore the way his cock is just painfully throbbing to be let out.
“Yeosang–!” You cry out, accidentally flattening some of the roses in his hair when the sensitivity bursts dully in your pussy.
You're suddenly feeling self-conscious even though your mind is slowly sinking into the sins Yeosang is gravitating you into.
Your cunt is getting soaked by the second, to the point your panties have pretty much grown transparent, so sticky and wet from your cream.
It doesn't change the fact that worries still flicker in and out of your mind.
You're not a virgin. Would Yeosang approve of that? Would he be disgusted that you aren't?
You feel his fingers slither up your thighs, his thump hooking onto the waistband of your panties before he completely pulls your panties off, your pulsing wet pussy blooming like the most gorgeous flower Yeosang's ever seen.
Before Yeosang’s ready to reward himself, you squeeze your thighs, stopping him.
He looks up at you, his eyes slowly glazed over, waiting for you to let him.
How is he so patient?
“I’m not a virgin—“
“It doesn't matter, darling”, Yeosang cuts you off while he presses his nose against your supple thighs, taking in a sharp inhale, letting your scent turn him dizzy. “I’ve always dreamed of hearing you scream my name when I’m fucking you.”
You struggle to keep your breathing in check, dazed and taking in this newfound side of Yeosang that seemingly bloomed from nowhere.
“I'll make you feel so good, darling”, he promises, a teasing lick just to the side of your pussy, and your rationale completely dissolves.
Yeosang pulls your legs apart, smiling against your skin when you don't offer resistance, then he presses his tongue against your wet cunt.
You taste like heaven, is what is repeating in Yeosang’s head, over and over. He wants to make sure he sucks you dry. You squirm against him, the pleasure building recklessly whenever Yeosang drives his tongue against your clit, your moans turning into a mix of cries. Your wetness isn't drying up anytime soon, that's for sure.
“So fucking good. Y-Yeosang…”, your lashes are wet, and with every flick of his tongue on your clit, it builds so fucking good that your legs have completely spread open for Yeosang, your cunt shamelessly leaking more creamy nectar for Yeosang to indulge in. He brings his tongue up to your clit once more, dragging the soft muscle against it.
“You're so close, aren't you? Your sweetness is just getting better”, Yeosang hums.
Your fingers clutch against the soft pillows under you, your mind slowly starts to blank and break. It feels so fucking good that Yeosang has to hold your hips down so he can tongue fuck you better.
“Be a good girl for me–cum as hard as you want.”
A choked sob echoes in his chambers while you go completely undone–shaking and pulsing against his tongue, your vision washed out by white as the pleasure seeps into each nerve and crevice of your brain.
Yeosang is still lapping your cream up, dizzy from how you cummed all over his face. He really wants to make you do that over and over again until you break.
The remnants of your orgasm and the overstimulation has you twitching in the best ways possible. You halt Yeosang–stealing his attention with your fingers under his chin. Yeosang looks up at you, burying his cheek against your palm while his tongue peeks out past his lips to lick the off the remainder of your cream on his face. Your thumb caresses his soft cheek and Yeosang appeases you for a moment before he climbs over you, his palm covering your wrist, guiding you down to the knot of his robe. Your fingers grab onto the loose end and you tug–his robe completely loosens. He leans in closer, letting your hands wander his body, flicking the robe away until Yeosang is fully naked before you.
He's nothing short of a marble statue–everything about him is completely ethereal. As much as you’re admiring his bare body, your eyes can't help but wander to his thick cock. Even his cock is so pretty especially when it's glistening and hard, in a sheen of precum.
His voice is deeper now and it tickles your ears.
“I don't think I can go slow on you, my love”, Yeosang mutters, before he presses his lips onto the back of your hand. His crimson eyes meet yours, and your heart skips a beat.
“I don't wanna.”
He fits a pillow under your hips, and his cock is easily resting right at your pulsing, wet hole.
“Wanna feel you all the way, Yeosang. You can go as deep as you want”, you whisper, just craving to be fucked now.
Yeosang smiles in reply, before he lines himself to your cunt and pushes himself in an inch or two.
A curt “fuck” slips past your lips, and your abdomen tenses once Yeosang starts fitting more of himself into your tight hole.
“Gods, you feel so fucking amazing. So fucking warm for me”, Yeosang curses, his fingertips pressing onto your hips to keep any remainder of his sanity intact.
When he finally has his dick fully fit in you, you look like you're about to cry.
His fingers brush your cheek.
“Are you okay there?”
You nod. “You just feel so full in me.” Yeosang laughs, then groans when you squeeze him again.
“I'm gonna start moving.”
The lewd sounds of skin slapping start filling up the room once more, one wetter than the other.
His thrusts have you clawing the sheets once more, eyes rolled back and pussy clamping him down for more.
He grunts at the way you're squeezing him.
“I'll fill you up so good, my love. Make you so swollen–full of my pretty little offspring just for you to bear”, he mutters in your ear.
Your head is spinning as the pleasure builds up in your abdomen once more every time his cock hits your g-spot. The thought of Yeosang making sure you're leaking full of his seed, that he wants to breed you so badly throws out any rational thought out of your head. You want it so fucking bad too.
“You feel so better than heaven, you know?” He manages, the thread of his rationale thinning the more he's fucking into you. “I really want you all to myself.”
His thrusts are getting heavier and every time his cockhead presses onto your g-spot, it sends you into an orbit. You're seeing fucking stars or flowers–they’re starting to look the fucking same at this rate.
“Yeosang!”, you cry out, your toes curling from the pleasure hitting you over and over again. You leave light marks down his pale skin. Your cunt has him tight in you, and it makes him dazed. His moans are filling up your ears while his cum fills up your pussy.
The high slowly descends, leaving both of you catching your breaths, his face in your hands, eyes locked onto each other. You watch the dark red in his eyes slowly lighten but still remain red.
Had he always donned such deep red eyes?
“How are you feeling?” He asks, letting his fingers travel down the curves of your body.
You giggle tiredly, “a little sleepy.”
He covers your eyes with his slender fingers. “Then rest
Yeosang stares at the way you slowly sink into your slumber, huddled close to him.
He brushes away the blood red rose petals that fall on your shoulders.
I can’t help it if I adore you this much. I’m keeping you for a little longer. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind, right?
💘bonus epilogue💘
Yeosang knew he was about to be chided for always escaping his duties by hiding in the mortal world. Not that Eros would care anyway.
No human comes around here, and that’s another reason why Yeosang loves this specific spot. If he’s feeling slightly more daring, he might hide himself amongst the mortals while he window shops at the marketplace, but for today, relaxing is on itinerary instead.
He walks over to his usual tree, humming to himself.
Then he stops himself in his tracks, his eyebrows knitted together in disbelief. Someone is already occupying his tree. He watches the maiden hum to herself, her hands busy with picking flowers and she sits the stalks on her lap.
Unfortunately, Yeosang is the last deity to be confrontational, and he’s ready to just turn and leave—
“Oh gods! You’re breathtaking.”
He stops in his tracks, and turns back slowly.
His finger points to himself accompanied with a confused expression he wears.
“Me?”
He’s only met with laughter that sounded like sun rays when dawn first breaks.
“I’m sorry. I probably scared you. It’s just, I’ve seen you a couple of times here, and I’ve always wanted ask—has anyone told you that you’re beautiful?”
Plenty.
You laugh again. It tickles Yeosang’s ears.
“You’ve probably heard it many times. But I still want to say it—you’re beautiful.”
That day Yeosang hums a wonderful tune that even Cupid has never heard before. His attention goes back to tending his rose garden, his slender fingers getting busy, brushing against the bud of the roses, blooming them full.
He notices Cupid's surprised gaze, before he plucks a rose bud out to hand it to him.
“What's wrong, Cupid? Never seen a red rose before?”
Cupid furrows his eyebrows, his gaze reflecting confusion on top of curiosity before he shakes his head in reply.
“Yeosang…this is the first time I'm seeing you bloom red roses.”
Confidentiality - Chapter 1. - yandere!ATEEZ OT8 x f!reader
Introduction: Joining a peer support group for mentally ill was a good idea for the last two times you were there. Then it's only natural for the third time to go well too, right?
Pairings: yandere!Hongjoong x reader, yandere!Seonghwa x reader, yandere!Yunho x reader, yandere!Yeosang x reader, yandere!San x reader, yandere!Mingi x reader, yandere!Wooyoung x reader, yandere!Jongho x reader
A/N: This is my first fan fiction I have posted in years! I'm sorry that the beginning might bore you but I'm trying to make the next chapters more interesting. This was more of an introduction than the real story. Also, please, forgive me for my English. It's not exactly immaculate since it isn't my first language. Thank you to everyone who might stumble across this and read!
The first time you had been shaking in your boots. The next time you had been shaking as much. And now, hopefully for the last time, you were still shaking.
“What are you doing here? This is private property,” a relatively old lady opened the door you were standing behind and furrowed her thin brows.
It was winter, and you were cold already, but the chill that ran down your spine at the woman’s words made you almost visibly shudder. Did she not remember you?
Your hands inside your mittens squeezed into fists. Anxious tears welled up in your eyes. As usual, you couldn’t handle people being angry or even stern at you.
You would have probably run away in a couple seconds, but the woman smiled at you suddenly and pushed the door wide open.
“I’m just joking, dear. I remember you.”
She was supposed to be a mental health professional but still she dared to joke like that while aware of your struggles. You felt a bit irritated but didn’t dare to show it to her. She didn’t mean to scare you.
As you stepped inside the house your anxiety levels settled down for a moment. You felt a little more comfortable despite the fusty smell. The room was designed to look inviting and homey probably to make the patients relax. It was kind of like visiting a grandma which made you feel nostalgic.
“I’m glad you decided to join again,” the woman smiled sincerely as you took off your boots and set them neatly on the shoe rack.
You nodded, “I’m a bit anxious but eager to receive some help again.”
It was the third time you had joined a peer support group for people who were suffering from mental health problems. The same woman who was in front of you had held it every time. You thought she was some kind of therapist but weren’t sure anymore. It was always hard for you to remember the introductions, because your mind was an anxious mess when meeting new people.
She led you to the familiar room where all the previous support groups had been held too.
10 armchairs were placed in a wide circle. Their colors were restrained and mild so that people who had sensory issues wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Well, they would probably feel uncomfortable here anyways due to other reasons, but it wouldn’t feel as insufferable as it could if the chairs were all bright, neon version colors of rainbow.
The lighting was comforting and warm, a stark contrast to the cold lights of a hospital.
As you were taking in the feelings of the room, the woman started speaking.
“Uh, I have to tell you something,” she started, sounding apologetic, “All the other group members are new. None of them have been here before.”
“Oh. Are any of them aggressive?” you asked nervously.
The information that you hadn’t met any of the other patients stressed you out. What if one of them was aggressive and attacked you?
“You worry too much, Y/N. They’re as stable and gentle as little lambs.”
“If they were stable, they wouldn’t be in this group.”
The woman chuckled a bit, her dimples showing as the corners of her lips rose in amusement.
“Trust me. Everyone is kind and calm,” the woman assured you.
Suddenly a man barged in and declared, “I have arrived! Get ready for trouble!”
Your heart almost stopped and a fight-or-flight response was close to being activated. But after the initial scare he gave you settled down, you stared at the man with surprise and nervousness.
Despite his attention-demanding entrance, his looks were a little less extra. He was really handsome though. He had black hair and casual clothes but your attention was caught by his mischievous dark brown eyes and a little mole under his eye.
“What’s your name?” the man noticed your staring and rushed to you before you could run away.
You barely remembered your name when the man was suddenly in front of you, a bit too close to your liking. Somehow you managed to mutter out your name to him.
“Ah, Y/N. I’m Wooyoung,” the man introduced himself, “You have beautiful eyes.”
If you didn’t forget how to speak when Wooyoung asked your name, you definitely did now. How were you supposed to answer when a stranger complimented your eyes out of the blue?
Wooyoung continued inspecting your face and expressions intently.
“Thank you... You have very... interesting eyes as well,” you smiled sheepishly.
“That sounds almost like an insult,” Wooyoung pouted, “Aren’t my eyes beautiful too?”
Oh no. Did Wooyoung think you didn’t think of his eyes as beautiful?
“No, no! I mean yes, your eyes are beautiful. I just didn’t want to sound like a creep by complimenting you too much.”
Wooyoung grinned at you, “Don’t worry. I know what you meant.”
What was wrong with everyone, joking around like that? You had your first mini heart attack earlier when you thought the woman didn’t recognize you and now Wooyoung made you think you insulted him gravely.
You took a seat on one of the armchairs. Wooyoung sat down next to you, staying quiet but glancing at you sometimes. Pretty often, to be honest. All of the time, actually.
The woman started talking with him but you couldn’t focus on listening to their conversation at all. Just fiddling with your fingers nervously as you imagined how the other patients would be like.
One by one, all of the patients arrived. Two of them were late which irritated you. You just wanted to get this session over with already.
You didn’t dare to look at anyone but you had noticed to your horror that all of the other patients were men. Maybe they would gang up on you after this session and beat you up. That’s what men did, right? You had read a lot about those kind of things on the internet.
“Alright kiddos,” the woman started, “My name is Charlotte Abbot, and I welcome you to this peer support group.”
None of you were “kiddos” anymore but young adults. Charlotte probably just felt a lot older with all those wrinkles on her face.
She went on and on about how the group works and the importance of confidentiality. A few members of the group didn’t focus at all and were looking around curiously to see who were the people that had joined the group.
“Who wants to introduce themselves first?” Charlotte asked.
Wooyoung raised his hand and started talking before Charlotte could give him a permission, “My name is Jung Wooyoung. My favorite color is black. My favorite fruit is strawberry. I like dancing. I like taking photographs. I like cooking. I like-”
Charlotte interrupted him, “Thank you, Wooyoung. Let’s give everyone a chance to introduce themselves briefly before revealing more.”
An extraordinarily stylish man raised his hand before he started speaking.
“I’m Kim Hongjoong. I’m the CEO of my own fashion brand.”
You almost gasped out loud. No wonder he was so stylish. He looked cool both in appearance and attitude. The look on his face was so focused that you bet he was a hardworking man.
“My name is Choi San. I am a personal trainer. Nice to meet you all,” a man sitting one seat away from you introduced himself politely.
You could definitely see that he was a personal trainer. His looks probably distracted all his customers from working out to look at him.
“Jeong Yunho,” a tall man next to you smiled kindly, “I’m a police officer but I do a lot of volunteering at animal shelters as well.”
You almost let your heart melt at Yunho’s words but you reminded yourself that he could be lying to make himself look more trustworthy. He could actually be a mastermind criminal who’d lure you into his trap with his promises of playful puppies and cute kittens.
“Choi Jongho,” another man simply said.
Everyone waited for him to continue but he stayed silent.
“That’s it?” Wooyoung asked.
“Shush, Wooyoung. If Jongho doesn’t want to say anything more yet, he doesn’t have to,” Charlotte reminded gently.
“Song Mingi. But you can call me Mingi. Or Mingus Dingus,” another tall man chuckled.
“Mingus... Dingus?” Wooyoung repeated, holding back his laughter. A couple other men in the room snorted too.
Mingi looked a little offended and explained, “It’s my stage name. I’m a rapper.”
You wondered what was behind Mingi’s sunglasses. Why did he wear them inside in the first place? Was he trying to hide something else than just his eyes?
It was clear that none of them were here to hurt you. But all of these new people were making you nervous. No matter how disrespectful of you was it to suspect everyone, you couldn’t help yourself.
“My name is Park Seonghwa. I like Legos and Star Wars,” a strikingly handsome man smiled sheepishly.
His interests surprised you with their innocence. One would expect that an adult man with those godly looks would be partying and sleeping with models instead of nerding away with Legos and Star Wars. It was adorable though and made you feel ever so slightly more at ease with him.
Silence filled the room as everyone was waiting for the next person to introduce themselves. Only the ticking of the clock on the wall could be heard. The silence felt uncomfortably long and you started wondering why no-one spoke.
“Could any of you two introduce yourself?” Charlotte’s voice caught your attention.
You almost wanted to cry out of embarrassment as you realized you were one of the two who were left, and you had been just sitting there like a fool. It shouldn’t be such a big deal but your ears flushed red nonetheless.
There was a man who hadn’t introduced himself yet either. His gaze was turned to the floor. As if that wasn’t enough of a sign to tell he was uncomfortable, his body was tense and hands wrapped in front of his stomach as if to protect himself.
“I’m Y/N. I like...” you paused. Someone could be here to gather information about you or use your information against you in the future. You couldn’t tell them anything too personal.
“I like dogs,” you finally said. Damn it, that was too personal! Now that psycho police officer could lure you into a dog shelter and torture puppies in front of you just to make you suffer.
Speak of the devil, Yunho smiled at you, “I like dogs too.”
You fought the urge to scream and run away. His smile was charming but that was expected from a psychopath. Those kinds of people were good at manipulating. You had read a lot of books about it in order to protect yourself better.
Nonetheless, you still smiled back nervously.
“What’s your last name?” San asked.
To be truthful or not to be: that is the question. You had purposefully left that part out of your introduction because you didn’t want to tell them your last name. What would anyone even do with that information?
“Brokelsony,” you answered.
Wooyoung snorted, “That’s not a real name, doofus. You just made that up, didn’t you?”
You got caught. Your days were numbered now. How could you ever come back after everyone knew you lied to them?
The way your eyes widened and you clutched the arms of the chair confirmed everyone that you lied. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Except you wanted your whole body to burn, not just your pants.
“Come on, what’s your real last name?” Mingi insisted.
Wooyoung joined in with a louder voice, “Yeah, we told our last names too!”
“What are you so afraid of?”
You were stressing out, gasping for air and digging for some explanation for your lie but you couldn’t think. All the noise and pressure made you dizzy.
Suddenly Jongho chimed in, “You two chose to tell your full names out of your own will. It’s not an obligation to reveal your last name, so leave her be.”
Everyone was shocked more or less. Jongho, who had been so quiet otherwise, had spoken up and defended you.
He could have been embarrassed or regretful to have all the attention directed to him now but there were no emotions on his face. Only unwavering tranquility was like painted on his whole body.
You couldn’t have been any more grateful to Jongho for the shift of attention and for being the voice of reason. The least you could do was to send him an appreciative smile so you did that.
He did not respond to the smile.
You really hated this day. Being embarrassed wasn’t an unknown experience to you but this felt just straight up humiliating.
“Well, we have our one last patient. Would you introduce yourself?” Charlotte asked gently.
It was definitely not a nice feeling for him to be the last one and have all the attention on him, you thought as you looked at the last man left.
After a few moments he raised his gaze from the floor... only to look at his hands. At least you could see his beautiful face and birth mark a bit better now.
“Yeosang,” the man spoke.
Yeosang sounded almost apologetic like he was sorry that he was supposedly wasting everyone’s time by telling his name. You really felt for him.
“Look what you did, Y/N. He learned not to tell his last name either because of you,” Wooyoung chuckled and received a scolding look from Charlotte in response.
Charlotte looked around the room, probably taking in everyone’s names, and nodded.
“You all have different issues like all people do. Even though some of you may have similar experiences or diagnoses, don’t forget that you have your own story to share, no matter how insignificant it may seem.”
A few people nodded, acknowledging her words. You did too although you did not agree with her statement.
Your story wasn’t meant to be shared. There wasn’t even anything to share. That’s what you wanted to believe at least. That you were completely healthy and normal, and that nothing bad had ever happened to you.
“During next week we’ll start opening up more but today it’s time for something more exciting...” Charlotte smiled mysteriously, “Get into groups of three.”
What was this? A pre-school? You did not want to talk to anyone. This was supposed to be a form of therapy not a blind date!
You felt your palms sweat in nervousness. Who would you want to be in a group with? Or a better question, who would want to be in a group with you?
The stress of realizing that probably no-one would agree to be with you made your chest tighten up. You cursed Charlotte in your mind for causing this.
Every second felt excruciatingly slow but fast at the same time as you saw Hongjoong and Seonghwa already forming a group. You would be the last one left. No-one would let you into their group willingly.
“Do you want to be in my group?” someone behind you asked like an angel who descended from Heaven to save you from the fate of being left out.
Once you turned around, you froze. It was the Devil instead.
Yunho stood there, towering over you, with that smile on his handsome face again. It was suspicious how kind he was.
“Sure,” you nodded despite your head screaming at you not to. Carefully inspecting his expressions and movements, you decided he would be trustworthy enough now that there were other people in the room with you.
“Awesome! Let’s go find another groupmate,” Yunho gestured you to follow him.
So, you did follow him as he walked towards Yeosang who was standing by the wall, looking clueless and lost.
You felt grateful that Yunho had chosen Yeosang out of everyone left because he seemed like the least aggressive person there. His arms were muscular but you wanted to believe he wouldn’t use them for anything else than carrying heavy grocery bags for old ladies.
“Yeosang, do you want to join-” Yunho started but got interrupted by Jongho who had appeared behind you two.
“Y/N. Join my group.”
It was enough of a shock already to have Yunho ask you to be in his group, but now that Jongho wanted you in his group as well, you felt lost.
You probably looked stupid as you were glancing between Yunho and Jongho, trying to figure out the situation, lips slightly apart.
“No can do, dude. She’s mine... my groupmate, I mean,” Yunho crossed his arms.
Even Yeosang raised his head to look at the scene with you as Yunho and Jongho started disputing.
“Although you like dogs, you don’t have to treat her as one,” the shorter man sneered, “You’re not her owner, cop.”
Yunho furrowed his brows. You thought of him as scary even when he smiled, but now that you saw him getting irritated, you felt horrified. What if he had a gun with him? He was a police officer after all.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I just want you to find your own groupmates instead of stealing mine.”
“Why are you so keen on keeping her?” Jongho raised a brow.
“Why are you so keen on stealing her away from me?”
Yunho’s question was just the right one to make Jongho silent.
A slightly irritated expression crossed Jongho’s face but he just shrugged and said, “Don’t ask me.”
“Who else should I ask then?” Yunho asked, confusion mixed with annoyance in his voice, but he received no response as Jongho just walked away.
You watched Yunho’s expression from the side while he was still distracted by his own thoughts and emotions.
His lips were pressed together tightly and ears bright red. It was clear he tried to control himself and his reactions, but you weren’t convinced by his act at all.
You got to see him properly only when he swiftly turned around to face you. He did not touch you, thank God, but you were still terrified when you saw the look in his brown eyes. The same, usual smile was on his lips as he looked down at you but it was still vastly different. His eyes weren’t warm. His eyes were burning hot, full of fierce fire he had been hiding under the facade of a kind police officer who loved helping animals, and who knows what other lies he had come up with.
His body towered over yours as he looked at with those eyes that made you want to curl up into a small ball and defend yourself like a hedgehog.
But you weren’t a hedgehog and you couldn’t push out spikes to protect yourself as Yunho leaned closer.
“I’m glad you didn’t run off with Jongho,” he chuckled.
In the blink of an eye his expression was back to that weirdly cheerful one, as if you had imagined everything.
Everyone was horrible. You were scared and worried. But you should have expected something like this already, you thought to yourself.
After all it was just like you told Charlotte: if they were stable, they wouldn’t be in this group.
evil man possessed by an angel who falls in love with the evil chemist who is basically a devil au LOL
genres and warnings: angst, suggestive, mafia au, obsession, morally black ppl again, mentions of drugs, human experiments (a few details), violence, blood, themes of corruption and forbidden love, lmk if i missed anything, dni if uncomfortable ^
word count: 32k (oops i did it again)
synopsis: when you summon an angel to enhance the town's drugs, the angel ends up being stuck in seonghwa's body- the mafia boss who supplies the drugs itself. the line between good and evil start to blur, complicated by your feelings for each other which lead you to make some difficult choices.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (she insisted hwa pure evil i said your wish is my command)
Good and evil must coexist in order to survive.
Without evil, there cannot be any good in this world. Evilness creates the need for good. And if there’s only good in the world, there would be no reason or purpose anymore. There must be evil for there to be a desire for goodness.
Good and evil are the two elements that weigh down the pans of a weighing scale. They hover in the air, tipping up and down endlessly, never balancing because there is always too much evil or too much good at each fraction of time in the world. Perhaps, it is meant to be that way- perhaps, that is the balance this world needs.
Similarly, there is also good and evil coexisting in an individual. Sometimes, there is more good than evil, while other times evil outweighs the good . People can argue if humans are inherently good or evil but it has never mattered- if you live in society, you will learn what is considered good and what is considered evil.
However… sometimes when you look at Park Seonghwa, you wonder if all the foolish rambling about evil being an inherent trait might be true after all. You’ve known him almost all your life and you are convinced that the man does not possess a single good bone in his body.
Again, it was arguable. What is the criteria of being good or what ultimately labels you evil? Perhaps, he is good in an unconventional way- though there’s hardly been evidence of that when all his good intentions have an evil motive. Maybe that was his purpose on earth- to make sure the scale does not tip too much towards good.
A tiny part of you thought that maybe he was the only person holding the burden of that responsibility- but then you would look in the mirror and realise you were no better. You would scoff at the audacity to judge the poor man when you yourself were his equal in every way. Perhaps, you possessed a few morals, but you had always been reprimanded on that.
You could not be a good human in your field. Not when you were making sure that the society was entangled in the web of your deception- attracted like flies to the things that glittered like gold but were dark at their very core. Not when you fed the people with the lies of pleasure and they willingly took bait, losing the conscious part of themselves that would ever warn them that maybe this was not a good idea.
Not when you were the devil who was ruling both the underworld and the world from the shadows.
You did not need to be a good human when you were manufacturing and producing drugs. You just needed to possess a brain that functioned better than the average human, possess a heart that did not function as good as the average human, and finally, stay away from whatever you created.
Bonus points if you had a little streak of-
“This is insanity, sweetheart.”
That. Insanity. The key ingredient.
“But insanity has always made sense. Especially when it comes from me,” you pointed out and Seonghwa couldn’t help but agree, uncomfortably crossing his legs while sitting on his office chair and contemplating deeply.
“Theoretically, it can work-”
“Theoretically,” Seonghwa reminded you with a pointed glare that was a warning to not get too ahead of yourself. He never failed to assert that he was ultimately the one in control. “Theoretically, anything is possible. But if you really believe that angels exist-”
“I don’t have to believe that they do,” you insisted. “But I have to try.”
You were unsure about this, that was true. Summoning demons for ritual was something common in the underworld, though you had never witnessed it yourself, having heard that it was better to avoid that. You had suppliers, though, claiming that they had stored the ‘essence’ of the demons that they summoned. The essence was a powerful thing and had to be mixed in miniscule quantities in large amounts of the base product for it to work- you learned that the hard way too. It took you years and an uncountable amount of dead test subjects to learn that the human body could not tolerate the essence of a demon unless it was barely there.
Did you believe that demons exist after all these experimentations? It was still arguable, but the vials of the essence stored safely in your lab was proof that the world was not only home to humans and animals, but other creatures too. You recalled observing exorcisms when you first started studying dark arts, hoping to expand your knowledge and mix the scientific and the supernatural. You once convinced the mafia lord to join you.
That sure did end well. Here you were, seated right in front of that mafia lord, trying to convince him that if humans could successfully extract demonic essence to create the ultimate drugs, they could extract the essence of an angel to create something new too.
It could change the course of this world, if you were right. You had no idea if the essence would work like the demonic one. Maybe it worked similarly, but at least you would have the satisfaction of having tried. There was a chance though that the angelic essence could open new opportunities for your business. And if it had medicinal properties, you could control the capitalistic net too. You could rule the world.
“Come on,” you insisted, getting up and walking around the table to lean against the surface, bending down just a fraction to meet his eyes. “This could be our salvation, Seonghwa.”
“Or doom,” he challenged, leaning forward while still seated, his fingers going to play with the lapel of your coat. “This could go very, very wrong. I can’t lose my mad scientist now, can I?”
You smirked. “Is that all I mean to you? Mad scientist?”
“You know what they say,” Seonghwa shrugged. “Behind every drug lord is a mad scientist.”
“They don’t say that, but sure,” you scoffed. “Come on. We’ve been partners for years now. Give me some credit, and let me try this. I’ll only try it once, I promise. If it doesn’t work, we let it go.”
Seonghwa considered your proposal- he always let you try stupidly dangerous things at least once, no matter the fear in his heart that he would end up endangering your life. He told himself he did not care for you, but that you were simply someone essential to him and his business. He convinced himself that he had no attachment towards you as someone who grew up with you and survived with you in the darkest period of his life.
And you believed him. That he really did not have any personal attachment towards you. You were just someone useful to him. You always said that you returned the sentiment, but you were more human than him in some ways, and being human meant that you inevitably caught feelings for him.
Not that you would ever admit that to a soul. They could pin you on the very stretcher you tied your test subjects to, cut you open or drug you but nothing could be capable of extracting that confession out of your mouth.
It didn’t help that the person in question was the Park Seonghwa. He could look like an angel and a demon at the same time, and that was perhaps the worst combination you could have encountered. It was his ability to transform his face into the epitome of innocence that was his weapon. He had bewitched every person that possessed any semblance of power, took advantage of any individual that could be of use to him, whether alive or dead, and climbed his way to the top.
And you had been by his side all along. Partner in every sense, sharing brains and planning schemes in the dead of the night, alone in the woods huddled against each other because you had a single blanket that you managed to grab when you both ran away from the orphanage. He was too busy leading the path to worry about grabbing anything useful, he told you.
You had been by his side all the years that you spent after, being protected by him when he teamed up with the street gangs and earned for both of you. You helped wherever you could, his little mad scientist from the beginning, experimenting with drugs and burying your nose in books, observing the doctors and surgeons who were expert on cutting up people to extract organs, learning every practical skill you needed to stand on your feet and make Seonghwa proud.
And you did. You made him proud and you made him strong. You cut ties- in the most literal way- with your previous gang and emerged as a strong duo, Seonghwa operating in the light while you worked in the shadows. He kept you close, within an arm’s length. He made sure you had everything you needed- a roof over your head, food in your stomach, a lab for your experiments, and him.
You were too afraid to ask him if he would treat you the same had you not excelled in this knowledge. You already knew the answer to that. That man possessed no human heart, and the moment you would be useless, he would stab you not in the back but in the front, locking eyes with you and proving that ultimately, it was him in charge. It was why you never risked saying or doing something stupid, because you were content this way.
You were content with the way his fingers travelled up the lapel of your black coat, finding the skin on your chest just below your neck where the shirt stopped him. You were content with the way he traced patterns there as he weighed the pros and cons of trying this damned ritual. Him locking his eyes with you and holding no hint of remorse that was otherwise a permanent expression in his eyes was enough. The squeeze of his fingers around your neck was enough.
And whatever his decision was… it would be enough too.
“Alright. Just once. It should not go wrong, you understand?”
You failed to stifle your smile, soon grinning and Seonghwa chuckled at the way your eyes so dangerously twinkled.
“A devil about to summon an angel. Who would’ve thought?”
“Two devils,” you corrected. “You’re coming with me.”
“Oh, no, no,” Seonghwa shook his head adamantly. “I trust you. I’ll send men-”
“No, you need to witness this moment, Seonghwa,” you insisted in all seriousness, your eyes widening just a fraction. “If it’s a success, we will change the world. You need to be there. For me.”
Seonghwa thought he heard just a bit of an underlying threat in there but he chose to ignore it, like he always did. Only you could talk to him in this tone, demand anything- even his life from him. He had already given you all his life, like you had given him all yours.
He could give you this, too. It made sense- and he really needed to witness this one himself, otherwise if it worked, he was positive he would never believe that they weren’t manipulating facts.
“For you,” Seonghwa nodded. “Make sure it’s safe, and have some human offerings ready in case we need that.”
“I don’t think an angel would be interested, but sure,” you gently pushed his hand that was playing with your hair away. “I’ll have everything ready- we’re doing it exactly a week from now. May the Lord be with us.”
Seonghwa’s cackle roared in the room as you exited. You felt like you were floating in the clouds, now that you had his approval.
You would prove that angels exist, hence proving there was good in this world.
And then you would wonder where the good in your old friend’s heart went.
“More candles?” One of the men helping you with the summoning ritual asked.
You looked around the room before turning your attention back to the book you had borrowed from one of your crew members in charge of collecting demonic essence. He was under the impression that you were trying a different demon summoning ritual, and you intended to keep it that way- not everyone needed to know that it was an angel you would be summoning.
“It’s not a fucking birthday party, those are enough candles,” you said and when Seonghwa snickered under his breath, the man skittered away.
“Someone’s on edge,” Seonghwa elbowed you lightly and you looked at him helplessly.
“I’m just trying to make sure this won’t be unsafe even if it goes wrong. The candles are just for aesthetics.”
“Ah, is that so?” Seonghwa looked around. “And the circle they’re sketching? Will that serve as a cage?”
“The spell and the items I’ll place around the room will serve as the cage, the circle is just a location pointer, you could say,” you explained, shutting the book and taking a deep breath. “I’m going to make a final check. Can you ask everyone to get out of this room and wait?”
“Will you really be here when they summon the angel?” He asked and you nodded. “Do you have to be?”
“Yes, I have to be,” you told him for the umpteenth time, beckoning him to go away. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry. And if anything bad happens… it’s not like you care anyway.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you and you grinned- you had a habit of making these jabs and he was quite used to that now.
“I’ll keep your word for it,” he promised. “If anything bad happens, don’t expect me to come barging in to save you.”
“Got it,” you sighed, putting on a show of offence. “If I die tonight, it was me who stole your precious diamond ring.”
“I know,” Seonghwa smirked and you stared at him, slack-jawed. He only shook his head and turned away, clapping to get everyone’s attention and asking anyone who wasn’t conducting the ritual to leave the room.
The room fell silent once again, the hushed voices of the people present inside echoing off the walls. You weren’t sure if the chilly feel to the room was because it was in the basement of an abandoned building in a very remote area, or because of the deed that was about to take place.
You waited until everyone had left before taking your position at the far end of the room. Your partner’s crew members naturally knew what to do as if they had trained for this their whole lives. They set the holy items at the four corners, and then some unholy ones at the other four corners, creating an eight-pointed star. Once you were satisfied, you went to pick a holy sword- the sword you had earned after your contribution to the dark arts, the very sword that had given you the idea of summoning an angel.
You dipped it into the tub near you, collecting wine on its blade, its translucent drops marking the earth with evidence of the forthcoming act. You turned your neck to look at the window, finding Seonghwa and the others- human sacrifices- waiting. Seonghwa shared a nod and you fished out his lighter from the pocket.
Once the sword caught fire, you walked with heavy steps to your final position in the front so the angel would meet your eyes. You put on your shades for caution like the rest of them did, and then you signalled the summoner to begin.
The sound of his spell filled the room- it sounded foreign even to him, considering the way he stumbled upon the words- the words for this spell were different from a demonic spell. The summoner sliced his palm and let his blood taint the etchings on the floor, continuing muttering the spell.
For a moment, you wondered if it was all a waste as seconds ticked by without a movement but a collective gasp sounded across the room when the flames of the candles blazed angrily. You gripped the hilt of the sword tightly, keeping it raised in the air. You tried not to let the fear gripping your heart get to you as the temperature in the room dropped significantly.
When the summoner said the final words of the spell, the final call to have any angel in the vicinity answer him, a strong breeze circulated around the room, blowing out every candle and almost extinguishing the fire on the sword. You gulped to swallow the scream forming in your throat, the sword in your hand the only source of light now. You thought you heard someone knocking at the window but the little glimmer of light in the centre of the circle had caught your attention.
Slowly, the glimmer turned into a blob, which then turned into a shapeless source of light- blinding golden light so bright that it appeared white, harsh enough to make your eyes water even through the shades. You narrowed your eyes to focus but there was too much going on-
Especially the warning song echoing inside you- you knew that it wasn’t coming from you. It was coming from that being and everyone else in the room could hear it too, considering how they started backing away.
“Stand your ground,” you ordered, and the men stilled. Your word was as important as their boss Seonghwa’s, perhaps even more important than their own life. “Make sure the barricade remains intact.”
It was only then you spared yourself a moment to meet Seonghwa’s eyes through the window, who looked astonished, his eyes wide as he tried to comprehend the glorious sight in front of him.
The glorious sight that was now taking the shape of a person, the edges sharpening enough to make out its silhouette yet remaining blurry. It seemed to be a crouched figure, taller than anyone you had ever seen, a cascade of hair covering the entirety of its upper body and anything that was not covered by its folded wings. There was no need for a halo when the being glowed from within, though even if there was one, it was too blindingly bright to make out.
“Which little bird summoned this weary angel? Pray tell, pray tell...”
Oh, you were doomed.
“Was it the man that connected us with blood? Was it the man that offered me good, or was it the one that chained me with the bad? Pray tell, pray tell…”
The said men were now leaning against the walls, praying to whatever god that had sent his angel here to save them. Save them from what? It was too late-
“Or is it the little bird that holds the key to my freedom?”
Key to freedom? You looked down at the lit sword. You recalled reading something about how such a holy relic could also be used to undo spells and though you had thought the information was insignificant, you were wondering if you needed to undo the spell right now-
“What purpose must I serve to earn my freedom?”
The tone of the angel turned soft, almost beckoning you forward. You weren’t sure if the angel was speaking out loud or if the voice was still inside your head. You dared to take one step closer before you felt a crushing sense of weight on your shoulders.
“It is I who called you,” you managed to say. “I have questions to ask.”
“You called me to satisfy your humane curiosity?”
There was a warning in his soft voice now. A warning that one wrong move would ensure your end. You looked helplessly at Seonghwa who was no longer present at the window and you wondered where he was. You thought you heard the creak of a door open but he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come inside, right?
You contemplated making a deal with the angel, but your tongue fell limp. With demons, you had heard that it was pretty easy when it wasn’t one of the stronger demons. A little deal, some nasty business, ensuring their essence would do damage that they would like, or in rare cases, a price to be paid usually got the work done.
What could you offer the servant of God? What could an angel need?
“Do I really hold the key to your freedom?” You asked, a strange tugging in your mind. The angel lifted its face just a fraction- you still couldn’t make out its features but you could tell that it was staring at you.
“I have a feeling that you do.”
And you had a feeling that this wasn’t about the freedom from this spell anymore. Entranced, you took another step forward, and another, unable to deny the pull. The being was ethereal and you had no chance against it. You had no chance, and you had no choice but to step inside the circle with this sword, damned be the consequences, damned be the very familiar voice shouting at you to stop-
It all happened too quickly to process- you were suddenly and forcefully being pulled away and the angel latched out, the sword falling on the ground with a dreadful clatter that echoed in the air, intermingled with the shrieks of the people present in the room. Your eyes widened when you noticed the tip of the sword within the circle.
This was the end.
“Get out of here, now!” Seonghwa ordered through gritted teeth in your ear, pulling you away with him and you went along this time, trying to tell him that it was too late, that he shouldn’t have come inside.
He would later wonder why he went inside. Perhaps, the angel himself had called him. Perhaps, he had been attracted to the angel’s pure energy when he was the embodiment of darkness himself.
And if that was the case, why did the angel choose him as his medium of freedom?
The last thing you saw from the corner of your eye before you lost consciousness, amidst the chaos of the summoning ritual gone wrong, was the angel’s hand latching onto Seonghwa’s back and Seonghwa’s eyes rolling back in his head before he fell, dragging you down with him.
All these years of your life had been dedicated to the mafia boss Seonghwa- your friend, your family, and your everything. Even your worst nightmare.
He was the reason you were alive and not sold off as nothing more than a repository of useful organs. If you ever think back to what your life had been like when you were just a child, barely 10, it was rough. It was dark, and Seonghwa was the only light in your life. No matter how dim that might be.
Seonghwa always shined. And you were just a moth attracted to his light.
However, you did not expect the man to physically shine. There was a sheen of actual golden light across his skin as his body burned with a fever meant for no human. You had bitten through the majority of your thumb nail while you wracked your brains for a solution- but did you really want one?
All these years, you had put Seonghwa’s ambitions and goals first. He wanted to escape the abusive orphanage and he wanted you to come along- you couldn’t be more grateful. He wanted to mix with the street gangs and provide for you so you could make a breakthrough in science (specifically, drugs) one day- sure, who were you to deny that blessing? He wanted to become the most notorious mafia boss, earn a social repute and keep you by his side, wanting you to help him become a true drug lord- to be the owner of the most unique and sought after drug. That aligned with your personal ambitions, so who were you to say no?
But your actual goal- if you ever had a moment of clarity without Seonghwa clouding your thoughts, it was to make a breakthrough in science- not just drugs. And Seonghwa knew your heart’s deepest desire, which was why he always prevented you from doing so, warning that you couldn’t be in the public eye. If you wanted to make breakthroughs, you could do so in the field of drugs, and limit yourself to the underworld.
Well, this was what he wanted. Here he was, burning with an inhumane fever, golden ichor dripping from the corner of his eyes that you were sure to collect, already a few vials full. You wondered if this was the essence. And you wondered if the angel really was inside Seonghwa’s body now.
The two of you had lost consciousness when the angel attacked you- thankfully, his loyal servants were quick to take you both back to your hide-out where your lab was located. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself and Seonghwa lying flat on the stretchers. For a moment, fear gripped the entirety of your being before you realised you were just laying down and not tied like one of your test subjects. A sigh of relief later, you turned to find Seonghwa tied, and for all the right reasons.
Thankfully, your subordinate was someone who could be trusted. He made sure to keep the rest of your staff outside and waited for you to wake up. Now the two of you were almost huddled against each other, fidgeting with your clothes and biting your nails- anything to cope, at this point.
“Do you think he will ever wake up?” Dr. Choi asked, his sharp features softening into worry. “Or will he… burn to death from within?”
“I hope he doesn’t,” you nodded slowly. “If he wakes up and remains alright… he will be my greatest product.”
Dr. Choi San chuckled darkly at that comment. “It will only be your greatest product if you let the world see it.”
“That’s the thing,” you looked at your thumb, finding it smeared with your trademark cherry red lipstick. “I would want to keep him all to myself.”
“What a dilemma, huh?” He shook his head. “Well, I for one don’t want to be present when the demon lord wakes up. I’ll be outside if you need me.”
“What if the angel inside him kills me?”
“Well…” Dr. Choi shrugged. “I guess I’ll proceed to take over this institution like you have willed-”
“Not helping,” you glared at him but you both knew that this was a situation you couldn’t do anything about. You were helpless, and your only choice was to wait and hope that Seonghwa would be okay and the angel wouldn’t want to kill you at the first sight.
Another hour must have passed with you waiting endlessly, wiping the sweat off his skin and collecting the tears before he finally opened his eyes, groaning inhumanely and beginning to shiver slightly. You rushed to his side, startled at the sudden shift and poked his side.
“Seonghwa? Is that you?”
“What’s happening to me?” His voice came out strained and before he could ask something else or get your response, his eyes rolled back and he shut them tight, finally settling down and laying limp. Your heart sank and you checked if he was breathing, feeling relieved upon finding that he was. You contemplated untying his wrists and legs but you had to play it safe-
Though you were pretty sure the angel would be able to break free anyway.
When Seonghwa opened his eyes the second time, there was a slight glaze to it as if he was wondering where he was or recalling the events of the previous night. He tried raising his arms but gave up instantly, not even bothering to check why he was unable to do so. You frowned at his unusual behaviour and cautiously called his name again.
“Where am I?”
“My lab? You passed out, remember?” You gently told him.
“No, where am I?” He looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as if this was the first time he was seeing you. “And who are you?”
You felt your knees go weak and you clutched at his stretcher. “Seonghwa? It’s me, y/n. Don’t you remember?”
Seonghwa tried to raise his arms again but he shut his eyes as he groaned. “Untie me. Now.”
You couldn’t say no to that. You unclasped the belts and he sat up, swaying a bit. You passed him a glass of water and he made a face, setting it aside.
“Why did you call me?”
“I was trying to wake you up-”
“No, why did you call me?”
This time, his voice sounded inside you and you took a step back, your lower lip trembling at the shift in his demeanour.
“It’s- it’s not you, is it? You’re not Seonghwa?”
“I’m not your rotten excuse of a human, correct.”
It was the angel inside him speaking. He raised his hands, examining them carefully, finding them rough and calloused. He looked sideways, finding a blurry reflection of himself and shook his head in disappointment.
“Who are you?” You dared to ask.
“You called me,” he said calmly, a dangerous undertone in his voice. “You know exactly who I am. You know my name- do not dare to call me by my name with your filthy human tongue.”
You blinked, narrowing your eyes. “Is an angel allowed to talk like that?”
“Well, I’m human now, aren’t I?” The angel shrugged carelessly, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. “Thanks to you.”
“I’m not the one who asked you to possess him. That wasn’t my idea,” you tried to explain, sweat oozing out of your pores the more his glare turned darker.
“Well, what was your idea, then?” He got up, a bit shaky on his feet as if walking after a long time. That didn’t stop him from invading your personal space and standing right in front of you until you could feel the warmth radiate from his body. His brows furrowed and you thought he looked incredibly sad at that moment.
“What were you thinking, little bird? Trapping an angel?”
“I-” you clutched at the table behind you, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I only wanted to ask if an angel’s essence could be obtained.”
“For what?”
“Medicinal purposes,” you smoothly lied.
“Well, you have your answer,” the angel looked towards the vials as if having sensed them. “Though I’m sure it will not work. And you won’t be getting any more of my tears. I shall leave this body soon- if only this cursed human would let me-”
“What do you mean?” Your voice came out small, and you hated the effect he had on you. You weren’t sure if it was the angel, or if it was Seonghwa that made you still cower under him.
“I shouldn’t have been able to possess such an evil human,” the angel tilted his head threateningly as he leaned towards you, scanning your face. “You were who I intended to possess. Maybe he had a change of heart and allowed me to take him?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” you muttered. The Park Seonghwa you knew would never risk his life for you.
Okay, he might, a little. To the point of getting hurt, but not to the point of… this.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m stuck, and I’m unable to get out.”
“Do we need to do another… ritual?”
“Humans,” he spat with such bitterness that you almost wondered if this was Seonghwa himself, testing you. “You should have learned about this properly before you summoned me.”
“Do you know why you’re unable to get out of this body?” You asked.
The room fell silent, and when a subtle shake of his head told you that he indeed was as clueless as you, you finally relaxed and let a smirk grace your lips.
“Well… it looks like you and I are going to have some fun then… angel.”
~
It didn’t take long for you to convince the angel that you needed to run some tests in order to see if Seonghwa was okay- but you used this excuse to extract some blood, run every test possible, take every scan and monitor his vitals. Hours later, you were still stuck in the lab with him, the smell of food and antiseptics filling the room.
“You have to eat,” you said for perhaps the tenth time. “You’re in a human body, and you will have to live like a human while you’re stuck.”
“I could choose not to eat and let this body die. Maybe that is how I can get out,” the angel considered. You shot him a glare- while the angel wasn’t the considerate creature you thought he would be, his tone was a lot softer than Seonghwa’s ever was.
“Or maybe that’s how you end up perishing,” you placed a piece of meat on top of his rice bowl. “Food for thought.”
The angel glared at you for a moment and fumbled with the chopsticks until you showed him how to use them. He caught up pretty quickly and picked the piece of meat, sniffing it and frowning. You watched him curiously as he stuck out his tongue to take an experimental lick, and after deciding the taste of the meat wasn’t so bad after all, he finally put it in his mouth and chewed slowly.
“I can’t remember the last time I ate,” he confessed and you urged him to try everything on the table.
“As an angel… you do not eat, right?”
“We don’t need to eat to live,” he confirmed and you nodded. “Sometimes, we are sent as a human to guide another. At the rare times that we have to play along, we get to experience some humane things- like eating.”
“So… you’re telling me that angels walk among us as humans?” You asked cautiously.
“So do demons, and other creatures that your mind can never comprehend,” he said, taking another bite of the food- at least he seemed to be enjoying this human experience. “Humans think they own this world. They are no more than specks in this infinite cosmos.”
You nodded slowly- you were not going to argue with that. You had felt less than a speck when you saw the angel back in the basement.
“Was that your true form, earlier?” You asked.
“If you ever saw my true form, your eyes and your limbs would burn,” he said casually and you made a mental note of that. “We are not the angels that you read about in your books. Even demons- you have seen them. That is not their true form- we take the shape of what the human eyes and mind can try to comprehend.”
“How do you know that I’ve seen them?”
The angel tapped the side of his- Seonghwa’s head. “I know everything about this human now that I’m in this body.”
“Is he really alive in there?”
“He is. I can’t say for how long,” he finished eating. “He is fighting for dominance. Perhaps, he might be able to take over after some struggle, but I will remain inside until we find a way to let me out.”
“You should know if there’s a prayer or ritual for that, right?” You asked.
“Hmm… let’s see. Would you like for your human to die? For you and your entire group to perish from the face of the Earth?”
“Of course not,” you narrowed your eyes. Was the angel trying to intimidate you, or was he serious?
“Then I suggest we do not tell the world that this poor angel is stuck in a human. May the Lord help us.”
“Your Lord must know, though. Will he help us?” You asked and the angel chuckled darkly.
“We’re just two pieces in his game of chess now.”
A shiver ran down your spine and you got up to clear the table. “Well, it’s late now. I suggest we pause the game and get some sleep then?”
“Sleep is for the humans-”
“And you are a human now,” you let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t care if you sleep or not- just come with me.”
You instructed the angel to keep his mouth shut and let you do the talking. You told Dr. Choi to take care of the scans and with that, you both left for the Park Residence, a mansion in the most elite area of the town. You watched the angel look out of the window with curiosity and a hint of amazement- you couldn’t blame him. The mansion was truly something ethereal, especially from the outside with its white corinthian columns and stained glass windows.
“Someone like this human should have been living in the dungeons,” the angel whispered and you put a finger to your lips, unable to stifle a grin. “He does not deserve this beautiful palace.”
“He earned it through his blood, sweat and my tears. Give him some credit.”
“Who are you to this human?” He asked as you got out of the car. The secretaries welcomed the two of you and you dismissed them for the night.
“Can’t you tell?” You asked, tapping the side of your head like he had earlier.
“I can only see the memories. I cannot comprehend his emotions or feelings.”
“Do you not feel?” You asked, entering the mansion and being welcomed with the subtle warm lighting of the chandelier- dimmed for the nighttime- that reflected on the polished white marble. The subtle veins of gold running through the floor reminded you of the angel’s tears. You glanced at him and he hummed.
“This is a nice house.”
“See? You felt that it’s a nice house,” you pointed out.
“No, I can tell that it is a nice house because I can appreciate its craft,” he walked towards the staircase, fingers softly caressing the golden railing and its sleek curves.
“So you cannot feel human emotions? Sadness, happiness… love, hatred, anger?”
“And who said those are human emotions?” He asked, leaving you speechless. You followed him upstairs, letting him navigate through the empty corridor- if he had Seonghwa’s memories, he probably knew where to go.
“Humans possess the same attributes as angels and demons,” the angel explained. “Inherently, these attributes are innocent in nature but as a human lives and learns, they take a shape and become uniquely human. No human is angelic enough, nor demonic enough- though… this one might take the crown for being the most demonic.”
“There are worse humans, trust me. At least this one possesses some morals,” you muttered.
“And how do you weigh your morals? What is your scale to weigh them, human?” He asked and you shrugged- he was right. You couldn’t be the judge of that when your own morals were skewed.
“Well, you did see some good in me, didn’t you? When you were about to possess me?”
“You were the only good option, do not think of yourself too highly,” he almost reprimanded and your shoulders sagged in disappointment. He looked at you for confirmation before reaching the last room at the left section of the upper floor and you nodded. Once he entered the room, he looked around carefully.
The room was… lifeless, to put it simply. For starters, Seonghwa was meticulously neat and far too organised. There wasn’t a single thing in his room that was out of place, and the housekeepers made sure to maintain that as well. The pillows on his king-sized bed were neatly stacked. The monochrome aesthetic of his room with a hint of gold surprisingly both fit the aesthetic of the house and felt a bit odd. There was only an abstract monochrome painting with a splash of colours on one wall, and that was it.
“Well, this is where you will sleep- or try to,” you said, taking a seat on the grey couch that was far too comfortable and often somewhere you lounged when you invaded Seonghwa’s personal space. “And this is where I will watch you sleep.”
The angel regarded you with suspicion. “You will kill me in my sleep.”
“You’re far too valuable for me to kill, don’t worry,” you assured him and the angel felt an odd sense of comfort, though he questioned the reasons behind that. “I’m a doctor, so you can rest assured that I won’t let anything happen.”
“Are you not a shame to the medical community?” The angel candidly wondered out loud and you felt a pang of hurt.
“I won’t be when I’m done making use of your essence,” you promised bitterly. “Besides, I’m not your conventional doctor. I’m better than that.”
“You cut up humans to learn medicine. You are the worst kind.”
“And what is your scale to measure my morals?” You questioned, just a tiny bit of the pent up rage leaking in your voice. “Are you sure your scale is the right one, angel?”
The angel smirked- smirked at that, looking too much like the mafia lord in that instance. You released a short breath and got comfortable on the couch, unlocking your phone to check the updates. You paid no mind to the angel looking around and messing the room up until he got exhausted and lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
“I wish to return to the realms of the angels,” he whispered softly as sleep overpowered his consciousness. You looked up and watched his eyes flutter close, his breathing steady.
The angel was asleep. All you had to do was wait for the morning now.
“Fucking… bastard, thinks he is something to take control of me!”
The sound of two books colliding against each other with a thump, and the pent up sigh of frustration.
“Someone is going to die by my hands, and this fucking angel will be responsible for it-”
A smash- or perhaps, it felt like a smash because of the pounding in your head. You yawned unceremoniously, wiping your mouth and rubbing your eyes as you looked around-
You were in Seonghwa’s room- Seonghwa, who was now shirtless and sweating with anger, his upper body almost heaving with breathlessness. The muscles on his body seemed more pronounced and his veins were popping out. You considered pretending to go right back to sleep- maybe you could disappear into the couch if you stayed here long enough-
“You.”
“Hold up-” you raised your hand but when he started taking big steps towards you, you swallowed the scream that built in your throat and got up. Unfortunately, there was no way to get out of here and if you dared jump on Seonghwa’s freshly made bed (man was organising the mess the angel had made out of his room in his absence), the chances of him letting you live would lower exponentially. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and you slid under his arm to jump over his bed, making him curse some more under his breath.
He was quick, though. In a matter of seconds, he had you pinned against the wall, his arm splayed across your neck to hold you in place and you grimaced.
“What have you done, y/n?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“You’re back, though, right?” You asked. “This is a good sign-”
“The angel is still inside- I can feel him here,” Seonghwa dug his finger into his temple. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you let them lower until they fixated on the big tattoo on his neck. MATZ, a reminder of what he had lost.
“Alright, let me go,” you demanded gently. “And we can talk like two civilised beings.”
“What will you do about this, huh?” Seonghwa asked, no longer simmering with rage but unmoving with his position.
“Why did you come inside the room during the ritual?” You questioned, awfully curious of the reason. “You heard the angel, right? The angel didn’t mean to possess you- I was his target. Why did you interfere, Seonghwa?”
Seonghwa glared at you for a good few moments as if the answer to your question could be found in your eyes. However, there was no answer, and he let go of you. You took a deep breath, rubbing the soreness out of your collarbones.
“How are you feeling?” You asked. “Notice anything different?”
“Just a bit feverish, that’s all,” he admitted and you made note of that. “Find a way to undo this as soon as possible.”
“Already on it, don’t worry. I don’t like these turns of events. But… I’m also going to check the properties of the essence I managed to retrieve, and if I’m in need of more…”
“Get the angel out of my body,” he ordered, pronouncing every word threateningly.
“Got it,” you said in dismissal. If the angel’s essence was something of value… you would wring the angel dry before you would ever let him go. However, Seonghwa did not need to know that. You meekly smiled before walking towards his bed and smoothening the sheets. “What are you going to do?”
“Work,” he responded, “I’ve got a few meetings to attend and a few politicians to bribe.”
“How wonderful,” you commented. “Want me to come along?”
“I can handle it-”
“What if the angel… comes back?” You asked and Seonghwa paused in the middle of buttoning his black shirt. “Are you sure you can handle the consequences?”
For once, Seonghwa was silent and you sat on the edge of his bed, smirking. “I think I should stick with you until we’re sure the angel won’t take over randomly, at least. In case I see the angel is back, I can do most of the talking and make the angel shut up.”
“Why are you so sure that the angel won’t jeopardise my reputation?”
“Because, Seonghwa dear,” you got up and walked to him, buttoning the rest of his shirt and patting his chest. “I can end up killing him, and you in the process. The angel knows I’m capable of that.”
“I know you’re capable of that too,” Seonghwa said in a low voice, peering down at you. “Question is… will you?”
“Stay curious about that,” you told him with a smile, pressing on his chin affectionately like you always did. Seonghwa scoffed though he couldn’t help but break into a smile as well. You told him you would join him downstairs for breakfast and went to get ready.
Once in the privacy of your room, you took a deep breath, thinking and planning for what was next. There was absolutely no way you were going to leave Seonghwa alone. He was stuck with you and would have to remain under your supervision until this matter was sorted. It wouldn’t be unusual to tag along to his meetings and visits- you were his partner, and you were often present alongside him, but you were also a very busy person who was more occupied with lab work.
The lab wasn’t far from here, and while you trusted Dr. Choi, you never trusted anyone enough. You were going to monitor his progress and work with him too. You needed to see the composition of the angel’s tears and experiment with it- but when?
You looked in the mirror, the bags under your eyes more prominent and your cheeks looking sunken. You sighed deeply- it looked like you would be sacrificing your sleep quite a lot now.
And if sacrificing your sleep meant you would be basking in Seonghwa’s presence? So be it. That’s all you ever wanted anyways.
While Seonghwa was the same old person that he had always been, albeit more distant than ever thanks to the being inside his head that ‘wouldn’t stop whispering to him’, as he claimed. You could not blame the mafia boss for being on edge- apart from the fact that he was running a constant low fever, his senses seemed to be heightened as well. The lights felt too bright to him, the noise was too loud, and you-
You gulped as he flicked the dagger between his fingers effortlessly, contemplating if he wanted to slice you open or slice his own head open to extract the source of the constant whisperings.
“Look, it’s only been a few days, it will get better-”
Yet another dagger thrown at the board behind you, narrowly avoiding your cheekbone but definitely trimming the strands of your hair that were sticking out. You didn’t even flinch this time, but you were losing your patience too.
“Park Seonghwa,” you warned. “If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I won’t be responsible for what happens next. You have a meeting with Assemblyman Hwang later. He’s willing to buy drugs from you, and I know you want that meeting to go smoothly.”
Seonghwa slumped back in his office chair and folded his arms as if feeling cold. “I never said that I want you to leave me alone. But the sight of you… how do I put it…”
“Yeah, I know you hate me for obvious reasons, but technically-”
“Don’t say another word.”
You lowered your finger and zipped your lips. Technically, it was his fault and he knew that, which was the reason why he was so agitated.
Seonghwa and the angel inside him were in a constant battle for dominance of their body. For Seonghwa, there was a motive- it was his body, and the angel was a foreigner. A parasite, almost. You still did not know why the angel wanted to be dominant in this body and take control so badly when all he did once he managed to take over was crouch in a corner, away from the rest of the world. He would barely answer any of your questions and you half-wondered if he wanted to kill himself.
There wasn’t a specific trigger either. Seonghwa would be functioning as normally as a feverish human could- a bit sluggish in his movements but alert nonetheless- and a loud groan of pain later, the angel would take over, finish doing whatever Seonghwa had been doing and go to sulk. You were pretty sure Seonghwa did not need to tell the angel to act like a human- the angel himself did not want to be seen.
Perhaps, that was why he chose the darkest of the corners to hide, away from the light of this world.
The angel must miss the light of his world.
“The meeting is in a few hours,” Seonghwa reminded himself. “And I would like the angel to not take over-”
In some sort of a twisted notion of revenge, or karma, or whatever word you could use to explain the unfortunate luck of the mafia boss, he let out a foreboding painful groan and clutched at his chest, his eyes rolling back before he shut them. You watched with mild interest, shaking your head.
The angel was back.
“Hello, angel baby,” you called, beckoning him to open his eyes. His brown pupils glowed momentarily before he regained focus.
“Do not call me such terms,” the angel commanded and you huffed, rolling your eyes.
“I cannot call you by your name with my ‘filthy human tongue’,” you reminded him and he frowned. “I cannot call you angel, or angel baby- which is my favourite term, by the way. I like the look you have on your face when I call you that-”
The angel was beginning to look weary already and you smiled guiltily.
“What do I call you?”
“I… do not know,” he looked down at his hands, the dagger falling to the table with a clatter when he noticed that it was in his hand. “Did I say that you have a filthy human tongue?”
“Yes? Back when I summoned you in the basement?”
“I must have been very angry. I apologise. You do not have a filthy human tongue.”
You let out a short laugh. “I wasn’t affected by it, don’t worry. You don’t need to apologise, you’re literally an angel.”
“Has your heart been hardened so much that these terms no longer affect you?” The angel asked softly and you licked your lips in thought.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I guess I’m used to hearing things like these.”
“This man cares for you yet hardened your heart to this point,” the angel commented, clasping his hands and watching you with curiosity. “It is interesting what humans say out loud as opposed to the words they choose not to say.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re quite talkative today, angel.”
“I suppose I got tired of the solitude- it gave me no answers. You might, though.”
You raised your shoulders to tell him that you were right here and as oblivious to the situation as he himself was.
“Since you’re in a good mood,” you began. “We must talk about some important things. It might help speed up your, uh, departure process.”
“Let’s hear what you have to say,” the angel said, tucking his hair away from his eyes and looking to his left at his reflection, wincing at the sight of Seonghwa’s half-tied hair and glamorous suit.
“Why do you take over this body at random times? I mean, is there a trigger, or do you just say fuck it we ball?”
“What does that mean?” The angel frowned.
“Just… tell me why you took over Seonghwa now, of all the times,” you sighed.
“Because he has an important meeting, and he thinks that he can keep me at bay,” the angel responded, straightening. “I am here to prove that he, in fact, cannot keep me at bay. It is I who chooses to be dominant, whenever I prefer.”
“Well,” you drawled. This was news to you. “If you want to coexist in this body without any drastic consequences, I suggest you not try to mess with Seonghwa, especially when he has something important coming. It’s for the sake of both of you, because I know that he will try something stupid to get you to cooperate, and I would rather make an agreement with you and solve this predicament like civilised people.”
“I will take over whenever I like,” the angel insisted.
“Please?” You pouted and he stared at your doe-eyes with an intensity that made you want to take back your words.
“Fine. I can leave him alone when he has something important, but I do not have to answer why I take over any time else.”
Just like that? You frowned momentarily.
“While we’re at it…” you asked experimentally. “Can you be a sweetheart and come with me to the lab? There’s just a few things I have to check- vitals, bloodwork and such. I won’t ask you to cry and give me your essence, don’t worry.”
“What if I do not want to?” He cocked his head and asked.
“Do you want me to beg again?” You laughed. “Please, come with me. It’s for your sake.”
The angel tightened his lips in thought and nodded just a few seconds later. “Fine.”
“You’re not hard to convince,” you commented as he got up.
“I have no choice but to cooperate.”
“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” You teased, going towards the hatstand and grabbing Seonghwa’s coat, sliding in front of the angel and offering to help him wear it. He gave you a sceptic look before slipping the coat on, a hint of a smile on his lips that you decided not to comment on.
“Angels do not lie,” he said, taking the lead and pretending to be Seonghwa- of which he was an expert now, as if Seonghwa himself was instructing him what to do. You went to the parking lot and asked the driver to take you both to the lab.
“We don’t have much time, so I’ll make this quick,” you whispered once inside the car. The angel nodded and you spent the duration of the trip in silence, the angel watching the world from the tinted window of the car. You almost felt sorry for him in that instance.
Once inside the lab, you greeted Dr. Choi who was writing some formulas on the board.
“I’ve managed to break down the chemical composition of the essence. I’m surprised to see it’s very similar to the demonic essence we managed to acquire two years ago,” he said, watching Seonghwa with caution. “Is that the angel in front of me?”
“Yes,” you put on your reading glasses to skim through his notes. “That was one of the greater demons, right?”
“That’s what they claimed,” Dr. Choi muttered, motioning the angel to sit on one of the chairs. “What’s different is that the angel’s essence is more stable and safer to work with-”
“You will never be able to use an angel’s essence for medicine,” the angel declared casually and you both looked at him. “The existence of angels is supposed to be a mystery. There has never been an instance of an angel leaving a trace in the human world- by trace, I mean physical evidence. With demons, it is different- they have their own realms and rules.”
“We could change that,” you suggested. “This could be the first instance of it in history.”
“As soon as you spread it, and as soon as news of it reaches the realms of the angels, there will be a ‘natural catastrophe’ that will wipe off your existence and mine from the face of this earth.”
You cursed, looking at Dr. Choi who seemed more scared than annoyed, unlike you. You turned to the angel. “How will the angel realm ever know that we are using angelic essence in, say, drugs or medicines?”
“Demons track the consumers of their essence. When you and your evil boss sell demonic drugs, you put a red target on its consumers for the demons to prey on- and they feast on it,” the angel practically spat. “They make sure the consumers- the humans- do their bidding in return. So when you replace that with angelic essence, you will only be making it easier for the angels to find the humans they need to eradicate from this world.”
“Well, isn’t that lovely to hear,” you muttered. “What about experimentation here?”
“Your test subjects are bound to die. Any one of them that makes it out alive would not live long enough- and I told you that you cannot let the angel realm know that I am stuck inside this human. Does your life mean nothing to you?”
You looked at Dr. Choi who got the signal and left the room, saying he had to get dinner anyway. Then you turned towards the angel and walked closer, seating yourself in front of him.
“This is what my life means to me,” your tone was no longer soft. “I’ve worked hard all my life for this moment-”
“But some things are not meant to be,” the angel looked almost sad to inform you of that. “And that is okay.”
You gritted your teeth as you stared at him- how dare he look at you with pity? The rational part of your mind knew that he was absolutely right and that this was a shot in the dark anyway- you could still study the angel’s essence and at least learn something from it. But the emotional part inside you was currently fighting for dominance and for a moment, you felt sorry for Seonghwa- this battle inside him must be what he was going through at every moment.
It was your fault.
“I’ll check your vitals and take your blood,” you muttered, getting up and grabbing a kit. You wore medical gloves, checked his temperature and blood pressure, extracted some blood and ran some quick scans. Everything seemed normal and at least that was a relief.
When you finished and took off your gloves, you said that you were going to check his pulse and moved to grab his wrist. At the slightest touch, the angel pulled his wrist away as if your touch had burned him. You frowned and tried again, wondering if that was just a reflex, but he deliberately moved out of your range and you gaped at him.
“What is wrong with you?” You asked, rendered speechless by the cautious look in his eyes. “Why won’t you let me check your pulse?”
The angel’s tense body never relaxed but he allowed himself to return to his original sitting position, eyes still a little wide from the previous interaction.
“Do you think my filthy touch will taint your body?” You asked, wariness dripping from your voice. You almost expected him to look at you with disdain.
“That is not why, no,” he sounded upset instead, moving to grab your wrist instead, flinching slightly again at the touch but relaxing soon after, curling your fingers with his. “I am sorry.”
You kept staring at him in confusion, watching him fidget a bit until he finally gave in.
“It has been a while since I remembered what human touch feels like.”
Oh.
All those times, deliberately moving out of your way and avoiding touching any humans, and now… caressing your hand and holding it with both hands, tracing the curves of your knuckles and marvelling at the sensation that he felt, cautiously meeting your eyes as if there was an implied sin somewhere that he was scared of committing-
All because he was touch-starved?
You shifted your fingers to rest your thumb on his pulse, locking eyes with him and silently counting while you found yourself relaxing, almost entranced by the way he looked at you. So shy, yet determined.
This was not Seonghwa. This was not the man you had spent all your life with. He had never looked at anyone this way.
“Hwa…” you whispered and the angel frowned in confusion. You squeezed his hand.
“I’ll call you Hwa.”
The fire behind those eyes, the flame in those pupils and the warmth of his touch. Seonghwa’s anger. ‘Hwa’. He held your hand between both of his as if it was a holy relic and planted a soft kiss on your knuckles, shutting his eyes and relishing the feel of his lips against your skin. The lips as soft as the petals of a flower. Hwa- that’s what the name meant.
“Thank you for giving me a name.”
You did not need to check your own pulse to realise that your heart was racing as much as his heart- perhaps, in a twisted synchrony.
The meeting with Assemblyman Hwang had gone smoothly without any disruptions with Seonghwa signing a deal that would expand his drug business while giving him protection from the law. However, your interaction with the angel at the lab had left a bitter aftertaste on Seonghwa’s tongue. While he never talked about that interaction or mentioned your new name for the angel, you could tell that he was conflicted about your behaviour with his ‘alter ego’, as you had termed it.
And how could he not be confused? ‘Hwa’ was a foreigner in his body, doing whatever he pleased. The angel was opening up to human experiences more with each passing day and trying different things that Seonghwa himself would never do. The angel seemed to have a fondness for water bodies and mostly, when he took over, he would find the pool and either sit with his legs submerged or just float in the water while staring at the ceiling, as if he could see the stars or heavens, or whatever the angel saw in the sky in his realm.
Seonghwa would be lying if he said that having an angel inside him wasn’t… enlightening, to say the least. While he could not look into the angel’s memories like the angel could, he was intrigued by everything the angel had to share. It made him question his beliefs, but it also strengthened his ambitions.
As for you… it had only been a few days yet the little things were starting to get to Seonghwa. You spoke to the angel so gently and carelessly. You indulged in whatever the angel had to say or did. You entertained him and satiated his curiosity. You let him look at you or touch you however he wanted.
Were you doing it because you wanted something out of the angel? Did you think you could win his heart or convince him to create the medicinal drug for you? Or were you doing this out of fear? Fear for your life, for Seonghwa’s life? Or… was the sadistic side of you enjoying Seonghwa’s misery?
He would not be getting answers to that any time soon, and he would not dare ask you for a multitude of reasons- the first and foremost being that he did not want to sound like he cared. Whatever you did with the angel should not be affecting him as long as you remained within your limits and didn’t cross some invisible boundaries, he told himself and hoped you were aware of that too.
He was not going to lie and say it didn’t sting a little that you barely looked at him anymore when he was Seonghwa. He had to do stupid things to get your attention now, such as-
“If you poke me one more time, god help me Seonghwa, I will break your fingers.”
There you were.
You did have phases like these, where Seonghwa would wonder if you were growing distant from him or had found something- or someone- better than him. Seonghwa was a manipulative bastard and he always made sure that you were within his sight. He never allowed you to look too far, and whoever looked your way? Well… they would be subject to an unfortunate fate soon after.
You were his. His little doctor, his only friend, his family if he ever had one, his everything, yet… nothing. Perhaps, the last part was a lie, the angel had suggested in one of his whispers. Perhaps, the angel was right. But admitting it would mean that he had a weakness, and Park Seonghwa did not have any weaknesses. He had made that mistake once and lost a dear brother, the reminder of which was inked on his neck so he would never forget.
So why did this little phase feel different, almost threatening to him?
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You asked, but when he raised a brow in amusement, you shut up.
You had brought this upon yourself, bounding him with yourself to keep him ‘under surveillance’. He definitely did not have anything better to do at home in the late hours of night. He had wrapped up his work in the evening and accompanied you to the lab for the daily check-ups and for the past few hours, he had been rolling around on his bed. There was nothing to plan, nothing to scheme for once. He just watched you study and make notes on your devices and before you knew it, he had joined you on the couch, poking at your sides once in a while, making you swat at him in dismissal as if he were a mere fly.
Perhaps, all his talk about being ‘the boss’ had not worked very well, after all. He should have never let you get so close- or gotten so close- because you sure had a way of acting like the one in charge sometimes. The small, almost non-existent emotional part in his brain told him that you certainly helped with his loneliness and he had to agree. You were a crutch now.
“You know I can’t sleep well with all this incessant sound of your typing- why do you type so loudly on a screen?”
“The sounds help me focus,” you told him. “Let Hwa take over. He’ll sleep for the both of you.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes. “You want me gone that bad?”
“Aw, is the mafia boss hurt?” You mocked, going back to highlighting an important line in the research paper- perhaps, the tenth paper of the night. You were scrounging through them for any information on working with a chemical bond as unique and complex as the angel’s essence.
When Seonghwa didn’t answer or threaten to kill you, which was the likelier response, you looked at him to find him with a sombre expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he shook his head.
“Something is,” you shifted your attention to him. “Feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just… confused,” he admitted. “Having someone live inside you does that to you, I suppose.”
You shrugged, watching him carefully. “If you have a problem, you can ask me. You know that, right? Forget about the ranks for once, Seonghwa. You know you can trust me.”
“I know,” he nodded assuringly. “I just don’t like this. That’s all there is to it.”
You pouted. Nothing you could do about that.
Seonghwa had a multitude of questions to ask you about the angel but he decided to hold them for now. Instead, he locked your devices and took your hands, steering you to the bed. You laughed- your old Seonghwa was back. He tucked you in the sheets, just like he had done a thousand times now when you were little and would fall asleep in the middle of studying. Dimming the lights until there was only one lamp at the front of the room, its white light creating a soft halo effect in the room, he got on the other side and silence took over. The sounds of your unsynchronised breaths started to fill the room.
You turned your neck to find him wide awake, staring at the ceiling. You felt a pang of longing inside you- you wished you could hold him and tell him that it would soon be over, that you were sorry, that you wished you could make it better and you did not like seeing him acting so unlike himself-
“Shut up, you’re too loud,” he said and you snickered. You shifted until you were facing him though he didn’t move.
“What did you hear?”
“You’re sorry. You don’t like when I act strange, though you do enjoy it,” he spared you a glance and you grinned.
“That’s only half of it, though.”
“Would I want to hear the other half?” He asked.
“Well… some things are better left unsaid for a reason, eh?”
Seonghwa shifted to mirror your position, now facing each other. It was a good thing that there was still a respectable distance between you two. Sleeping like this had never been a problem- you didn’t have the luxury of sleeping in separate spaces for most part of your childhood, and once you did have the luxury, you would find each other anyway.
“Something tells me I should hear it anyway.”
“Ah, it’s the sentimental Seonghwa tonight, I see,” you retorted and when he shot you a glare, you gave in. “I wish I could make this situation better for you.”
“Hmm… you’re doing your best, though. Try harder from tomorrow,” he ordered and you muttered a ‘yes sir’. “What’s the last bit?”
You bit your lips- would you dare tell him now? If he pushed you away, you would have to live with that.
But then… he pushed you away all the time anyway, and there was Hwa. He made up for it.
“I just…” you started, finding his hand under the sheets and brushing your fingers against his. He remained still. “I just want you to hold on if things get hard.”
“Things will get better,” Seonghwa said, the words sounding like a lie even to himself. “I know I could die, we both could if the angels or anyone finds out about this, but… it will be okay. We will survive this, y/n. We always do.”
“I don’t want to live through that pain again,” you whispered.
“Tsk. You’re strong. You’re a warrior, and you will survive,” he assured you. “I will make sure you do.”
While he did not hold your hand, he let your fingers remain where they were, caressing his and you moved just a bit so you could lightly link them. A shaky breath left your lips as you allowed yourself to relax, welcoming sleep and leaving Seonghwa to wonder if he could say the same about himself- would he survive this ordeal?
He would wonder about that later.
~
When you opened your eyes the next morning, you were greeted by the sight of Seonghwa who was already awake and watching you. You frowned, rubbing your eyes and moving to check the time before slumping right back- you could still get a few minutes of sleep.
You shut your eyes and curled your body, fisting the sheets, your head spinning with drowsiness. About a minute passed when you realised that the person watching you sleep wasn’t Seonghwa-
It was the angel.
You opened one eye to find him watching you with the softest gaze, lips parted. Your heart would have swooped if you weren’t half asleep.
“Never watched a human sleep, eh?” You asked, voice raspy.
“Not like this- not so closely,” he admitted.
And perhaps, the drowsiness was getting to your head. You moved closer, tucking your head under his chin. The angel’s body tensed and you grinned to yourself- your bodies were still maintaining a distance but at least he wouldn’t be able to see your sleepy face.
“There we go. You can take an even closer look now,” you said, preparing to go back to sleep.
“I cannot see you anymore,” the angel complained.
“Perhaps, that is the whole point,” you told him.
“I suppose I can try something else then.”
Before you could ask what was going on in his head, he was tucking you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist. For a few moments, drowsiness left and clarity overcame your senses- Seonghwa had never cuddled like this with you. This- one arm draped over your waist, keeping you close, his other hand caressing your hair in an attempt to lull you back to sleep, your breaths synchronising with the rise and fall of his chest…
Heavens above.
“Do I scare you?” The angel asked cautiously and you made the mistake of looking up, finding his eyes filled with worry.
“No,” you admitted, watching his expressions morph into what had to be happiness.
“Then relax, and get your fill of sleep.”
Easier said than done. The fact that it was ultimately Seonghwa’s body and his voice made this entire situation more difficult to comprehend. However, there was no other choice but to relax in the angel’s touch and perhaps, that’s what you were meant to do for now. You relaxed a bit and fisted his shirt- Seonghwa’s shirt- instead of the sheets.
And when you woke up later, the angel was asleep, looking content. You knew it was the angel because Seonghwa looked like he was fighting demons even in his sleep. You smiled at the sight, daring to caress the angel- Seonghwa’s- face, feeling something sad building inside you. You tucked his hair away, the strands as soft as you remembered from years ago. You ran your fingers through his hair-
Wincing when you felt a sharp burn against your finger. You drew away your hand, finding a small part of your index finger singed- was there something in his hair? You cautiously ran your hand through his hair again-
A little yelp escaped your mouth as you felt a sharper burn this time and you clutched at your hand, a small red welt near your thumb now-
“Oh, dear,” the angel was awake and inspecting your hand worriedly. You looked at him in confusion and surprise as he shut his eyes to say a prayer, holding your hand to his forehead and then bringing it to his lips, planting soft kisses on the burns that seemed to be patching up as if there was never a wound in the first place.
You gasped in disbelief, inspecting your hand. “How did you do that?”
“I am sorry,” the angel’s brows were furrowed in pain as if he himself had received those burns. “I did not mean to- it is probably my halo. I did not know it would burn even as a human.”
“It’s okay,” you assured, examining your hand. “I’m all patched up now, aren’t I?”
“I hurt you-”
“It’s okay,” you broke into a smile. “It didn’t hurt too much- I was more surprised.”
“I burned you-”
“Hwa,” you cupped his face, making him look at you, his eyes glazed. “I’m a strong girl. These little burns don’t make me feel much. I receive burns all the time, see?” You showed him your hands and arms, littered with faded scars of burns. “In my field, you get used to it.”
“Your skin is not meant to be marred like this.”
“But humans carry the marks of their life all the time,” you told him. “Don’t you carry something like that too? If not on your body… in your heart?”
Hwa looked at you with thoughtful eyes, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed, never letting go of your hands as you moved to sit in front of him. He sighed deeply, unable to meet your eyes.
“Do you want me to heal them?” He asked cautiously. You shook your head no.
“Each mark on my body tells a story. I’d like to keep them,” you explained.
“Can I… kiss your hands anyway?”
Oh. He was going to be the death of you.
“Do you have a thing for my hands, sir?” You joked. “These aren’t the prettiest hands ever, I can find you a better pair-”
The angel ignored your rambling, planting soft kisses on the back of both your hands before he looked up. “To me, they are beautiful, because they tell your story.”
“Hwa- you can’t just kiss my hands and act all normal afterwards. This is not normal.”
“I am an angel,” he told you, kissing each of your knuckles, looking almost drunk with his flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. “Normal cannot define or bound me.”
Your eyes twitched in half anger and half… submission.
“What are you trying to do, Hwa? What are you trying to pull?”
“Do you think I have some hidden intentions?” He asked almost dangerously, and you thought that he looked obsessive for a second. “I- I only wanted to experience this feeling, and if you want to push me away, I will go back to hide in the corners-”
“What feeling do you want to experience so badly?”
“Being human,” he said, almost spat as if the idea appalled him too. “I cannot tell if it is the human in me making me feel so strange, but I want to touch and be touched. I want to live- I want to eat like humans do and savour the flavours on my tongue. I want to bask in the sun until it starts to burn me and float in the pool until I feel one with the water. I want to hold another human, feel their heartbeat against mine, do something about the yearning in my heart- I’ve never felt like this.”
For once, you had nothing to say. You simply watched the angel curl in on himself, looking like a broken piece.
“And I’m scared,” said the wounded soul. “I’m scared that I will never be able to go back to my realm. I’m scared of being okay with that. I’m scared of enjoying these human experiences. What if I do not hate the idea of being human and they find me? I do not want to die a human, yet…”
“I’m sorry for misunderstanding you,” you did not hesitate to pull the angel in your arms. If this was what he needed, you could give him that. The angel sucked in a breath but quickly melted in your arms, clutching at you almost childishly.
“I think I understand you,” you caressed his head, not caring how it burned your skin. “You’re a human, for now, whether you like it or not. This is your chance to experience what it is like to be a human without any boundaries. No one is stopping you, and I… I will protect you… until you are ready to go back. I hope you will be welcomed with open arms when you go back. You must miss your home so much, Hwa. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that- you do not have to be human to miss your home.”
Hwa buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking deep breaths. You winced at your damaged hands, resorting to hold him still instead.
“Have you always been this mellow, oh angel?” You asked.
“This is who I am,” the angel admitted, drawing away. “But you have seen how angry I can get.”
“Yeah, angry is an ugly look even on angels,” you agreed, shivering at the memory when you felt like he would have obliterated your existence with a mere swipe of his finger. You showed him your hands and he winced, looking apologetic but you smiled, making pride swell in his heart. With a prayer, he kissed every burn mark until your hands were back to normal.
“I will try to refrain from caressing your head from now on,” you stretched your fingers. “My hands are precious to me, thank you very much.”
The angel laughed, a small part of him knowing you wouldn’t be able to do that. You shared a laugh, smacking his back and asking him to get up and join you for breakfast.
Once again, in the privacy of your room, you crumbled to the floor.
What were you doing? Letting the angel touch and hold you like that- he was supposed to be the touch-starved being, but you were no better. How could you do this to yourself- to Seonghwa?
Just what were you getting yourself into?
And why did the consequences of your actions not scare you?
Everything seemed to be in order in your life and Seonghwa’s, yet it had never been like this before.
Seonghwa never talked about your intimate interaction with the angel- you knew that he was able to see fragments of what was happening through the shared subconsciousness, and if he tried, he could even share consciousness now given that the angel would not resist.
Either Seonghwa did not mind, which was unlikely, or for once, he had nothing to say, which was odd. He always had something to say about every situation, and his silence was louder than ever.
However, his behaviour was the same- in fact, he had grown more understanding in the past few days. Understanding of his situation, of the lack of control he had over his own body. Understanding that you were still trying to find ways to get the angel out of his body, contacting every demon summoner and going to dangerous places with him to learn more about the dark arts. You would never tell a soul that you were doing this for an angel.
You had also started to look into the history of angels, and while the angel himself didn’t share much about his realm- sworn to secrecy, perhaps- he guided you anyway. He was able to confirm or deny whatever you read about angels.
You came across his real name in one of the books and learned that he was an angel of fire- while he was not an archangel, he was considered to be one of the angels with their own conscience, which meant that he was capable of sin. You were confused about that topic so the angel silently turned the pages of your book until you were at the section of ‘Fallen Angels’.
That day, the angel wished to go out and fly, so you took him to the mountains instead where you sat on the edge of a rock and watched the world below. That’s when you asked him if there really was good and evil in every human.
“Humans are not inherently good, but humans lack the desire to sin when they are younger. As they grow older in their intellect, the desire to sin becomes something appealing to them. The more a person sins, the more evil they become until the goodness in their heart is nowhere to be found.”
“Do you think there’s any good in Seonghwa’s heart?” You asked and the angel looked at you. Dressed like Seonghwa in a fur coat with his hair twisted back and tied, you almost thought it was Seonghwa himself sitting beside you.
“Do you believe there is good in this human’s heart?” The angel questioned.
“Maybe,” you pouted.
“Does it matter to you if there is?”
“If it mattered, I would have left long ago,” you admitted and the angel nodded.
“I cannot say if there is good in this heart, but there was something that pulled me to him instead of you, when I was going to possess you. Maybe the evil inside me resonated with his nature.”
“But you’re an angel,” you looked at him. “You’re not evil.”
“There is the desire in me to sin, therefore I am capable of being evil,” the angel responded. “I feel as if I am sinning even now. Sitting with a human, stuck inside one, unable to perform my duties…”
“Do you hate being evil so much? If this is what evil is to you?”
The angel did not answer your question. And it got you thinking that maybe, there was a goodness inside Seonghwa that created the space for the angel. If that was the case, there was evil inside the angel too. Maybe, this was the true meaning of balance- a human too evil, and an angel too good, yet both containing a little kernel of pureness and darkness in their hearts- both coexisting inside one body.
But if being human was what encompassed the idea of being evil for an angel, this angel sure was enjoying the most mundane experiences. He was no longer opposed to trying out new things- a smoke, which had him coughing his lungs out later, cotton candy from the stall because it looked like clouds (Seonghwa was not pleased about that, claiming it left an aftertaste in his mouth), and food. Food of all kinds because apparently, the human had not been enjoying eating lately.
The angel’s curiosity wasn’t satiated with just that. You almost felt as if you were teenagers again and going on dates. From picking flowers in gardens to learning how to ride a bike. You made sure all your outings were away from the eyes of the staff or anyone who could recognise you, because you were sure no one would like the most notorious mafia leader in the town wiping dust off the petals of flowers or screaming like a banshee before falling down from the bicycle unceremoniously.
The angel- Hwa- was laughing like a human and it warmed your heart because Seonghwa had never been able to laugh like that. His laugh was pure and unrestrained, something humans usually wished for. His eyes sparkled as he observed the human world, watching and learning the concept of a family, of friends, of lovers. You could only wish Seonghwa was learning something along with the angel too.
While the angel started growing closer to you, the human started growing distant. Whenever Seonghwa took control of his body, he would busy himself with work and not correspond with you much- on anything. It would be up to you to update him of the recent developments, or learnings, or whatever you wished to tell him- he seemed the most uninterested. He didn’t care anymore if you wanted to talk, keep him under your surveillance or leave him alone. It was almost as if he had sworn himself to the silent treatment.
This wasn’t the first time he behaved that way, but it was different this time. Whenever you did something wrong or made any sort of mistake, it was a given that Seonghwa was going to give you the cold shoulder for at least a couple of weeks. You could try to make him give in- bribe him with something that he could not resist (the latest Lego usually did the trick- he may be the mafia boss but he loved his legos) or treat him to something nice. That usually solved the matter, but each time you were not allowed to defend yourself. Sure, he would hear you out occasionally, but he would rarely ever be convinced.
This time was different. While he did not consciously push you away, his behaviour was doing nothing to help you. It was getting harder for you to not look forward to Hwa taking over- at least he didn’t look at you with contempt. Something was off about Seonghwa, and you were trying to ask him what was bothering him so much- he refused to meet eyes with you or converse with you properly and you knew no bribery could resolve this.
“Have we dispatched the first batch of drugs to Assemblyman Hwang?”
“We have, it’s written there,” you pointed at his tab and he hummed, dodging your question once again. You decided to change the topic.
“Do you think we should try something like exorcism? An angelic version of it? The theory doesn’t sound bad, does it?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Whatever you feel like.”
You stared at him- he was trying so hard to act normal. This wasn’t going to work.
“Are there any more documents to sign? My fingers are starting to hurt- you know how I was in the lab all day working with specimens-”
“So?” Seonghwa dropped the pen and finally looked at you, eyes cold enough to send a shiver along your spine. “Do you want the angel to take over and worship your hands again?”
You scoffed in disbelief, wondering if that was a joke. When he went back to marking notes, you tapped on the table to get his attention.
“Say that again,” you challenged.
“We all know how much you crave affection,” Seonghwa muttered. “Good thing the angel is willing to show you some, at least.”
Unbelievable. This was what was bothering him?
“I asked you time and time again to tell me if something was bothering you- why did you keep your feelings bottled up only to stab me with your words now?” You asked. “You think I enjoy the fact that you’re sharing your body with an angel? Forget about what the angel does, you think I really want you to disappear?”
“It sure feels like that sometimes. You’re doing well without me, aren’t you?” Seonghwa scoffed.
You felt blood rush to your head, making your vision go red for a moment. Rage.
“I’m cooperating with the angel, Seonghwa. I’m playing along with anything the angel wants so you don’t have to suffer, you miserable, miserable bastard. I’m doing all of this so that the angel shares consciousness with you and does not mess up your business- or would you rather have the angel taking over and actively fighting back? Fuck you,” you spat, throwing your own pen across the table which he barely caught.
Not a hint of remorse in those eyes, though his little smirk had disappeared.
“You’ve always sheltered me all your life,” you got up, lowering your voice and this time, guilt did flash in his eyes for a mere second. “You’ve made sure I had no one except you, and you made sure my eyes only found you- that I only looked at you. So forgive me, Seonghwa, if you finally look back for once and I still find my defences crumbling when it isn’t even you.”
With that, you turned to pick up your belongings and leave-
And when you heard the familiar sigh that marked the angel taking over, you froze.
Had Hwa perhaps heard that? All of that?
You cautiously looked at him, finding his eyes filled with hurt. He almost looked grieved.
“Hwa-”
“Stop,” the angel raised his hand in the air, his voice dripping with sadness. “Not another word-”
“No, listen-”
“I know what I mean to you now,” Hwa said with a restrained voice as if still struggling to accept what he had heard. “There is nothing more that you can offer me.”
“I only said all of that because of Seonghwa,” you explained gently. “I did not mean that-”
“Yeah, Seonghwa heard that,” the angel said, shutting his eyes. “The damage has been done, human. To both of us.”
“Hwa, angel,” you dropped your stuff and took a few steps towards him but he left the room, leaving you regretting every word that you had said. Your eyes welled with tears and you took a few deep breaths, the tight feeling in your throat growing with each passing second.
You needed to find him- Hwa.
You looked in Seonghwa’s room first, but he wasn’t there. You wondered if he went to the pool and on your way there, you searched the rooms, asking the few staff members who were present if they had seen their boss around. None of them had.
And when you found the pool empty, you sank to the ground and buried your face between your knees, letting out choked sobs- it had been years since you had cried. You were not sure if you were crying because of Seonghwa, or Hwa, or just everything-
But it looked like you would be filling the pool with your tears tonight.
You cried until there were no more tears left, until your clothes were soaked. You sobbed until your throat felt raw, your nails leaving dents in your skin where you dug them in your palm. You silently cried until you heard the familiar footsteps, and it was almost surprising how that triggered a fresh stream of tears.
Was that Seonghwa? Or was that the wretched angel who had taken over your mind and soul? It didn’t matter anymore-
“Why do you cry, my dear?”
The damned angel. You brought your knees closer in an attempt to hide your face, but it looked like the angel was not going to give up. He sat in front of you, taking your hands in his and making you flinch visibly. Hurt, he let go of them.
“What is the reason for your tears?” He asked gently. You took a deep breath, sneaking a peek and finding his eyes puffy as well.
“Don’t tell me that you cried and wasted your essence,” you muttered, making the angel shake his head in disbelief.
“I told you that the essence is of no use to you. I wiped every trace of it, don’t worry.”
You sighed, burying your head back between your knees. This time, when the angel hesitantly brushed his fingers against yours, you didn’t flinch away. However, he made no attempt to hold your hands either, only tracing the outlines of your fingers.
“I am sorry for my behaviour,” the angel said and you looked up at him. “I should have given you a chance to speak. I know humans say things they do not mean all the time- and if it is of any relief to you, your human Seonghwa did not mean to hurt you like that either.”
“It doesn’t matter,” you told him. “The damage has been done.”
The angel gave you a look. “You have a habit of throwing my words back at me.”
“It’s the truth, though,” you said, getting up and the angel followed. You wiped your face, tired. “I meant what I said. Every word of it. Yet…”
You looked sideways, biting your lips to keep more words from spilling. The angel looked at you expectantly.
“Seonghwa is not able to hear or see anything right now- I’ve pushed him back. So you can say what you want to me.”
You took a deep breath. “I’m not spending time with you because I’m scared of you, or scared of what you will do to Seonghwa. Yes, initially I was- of course I would be. I’m only a human and you’re a divine being. However… I don’t know, Hwa. I’ve always wanted Seonghwa to really look at me, to acknowledge me. And when you look at me, when you are with me… strangely, I find myself forgetting all about Seonghwa.”
“Is that the truth?” He asked cautiously and you nodded. You weren’t going to lie now.
“I’m exhausted. I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing, but I just want you to know that I like you. I’m not simply cooperating with you, I like spending time with you- just you, the angel who’s beginning to live like a human. I know I’m supposed to get you out of this body even if it means that you get hurt in the process, and frankly, I’m still searching for a way to get you out, but…”
“But?” The angel asked and you mustered the last bits of courage in you, for the final declaration- the one you were too afraid to admit and even more scared to say out loud.
“Tell me,” the angel beckoned, taking a step towards you. You let your eyes scan him- the body of Seonghwa, clad in a black shirt and slacks, yet not his demeanour. Seonghwa’s face, yet unlike any expressions he had worn. His messy curls falling on his face only made him look more human, and it hurt.
“I don’t want you to leave, angel,” you confessed with a short laugh, letting the angel wonder what that meant. You turned to leave- at least you could put distance between the two of you-
“Then stay. Make me stay,” the angel’s voice was firm, almost as commanding as Seonghwa’s, but authoritative in an entirely different manner. A request, a favour. A plea.
“You’re an angel,” you reminded him, your voice wavering. “You are supposed to be performing your duties, you are supposed to be righteous and not give in to sin.”
“Yet here I am,” he shrugged, smiling in defeat. “Falling from grace and finding pleasure in sin- if this is what sin is.”
“Can I really ask you to stay?” You held your breath.
“You could ask me to fall from the heavens, and I would. I think I have already fallen. And I’m afraid of what I will let myself do for you, so stay, please.”
This was an angel, ready to sink to his knees for you. Your breath quickened as you turned, your heart ready to burst from the sheer amount of emotions.
“Where’s Seonghwa?”
“Not anywhere near,” the angel confirmed, the two of you moving towards each other, the magnetic pull stronger than ever. Your arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace, laughter bubbling out from the angel’s body and you soon joined- smiling in relief.
This was where you were meant to be. In his arms, feeling safe. Feeling loved.
You broke apart, his hands resting on the dip of your waist. You brought your hands to wipe the remnants of his tears from his eyelids, shaking your head and he smiled guiltily. Your gaze stuck on his parted, plump lips and before the angel could express any doubts, you secured your confession by capturing his lips in a soft kiss, making the angel freeze.
You drew back and looked at him in confusion, anxiety starting to bubble in your throat once again- had you made a wrong move? However, the angel seemed as if he was in a daze, his eyes travelling all over your face.
“What do you think you are doing, love?” He asked, cupping your face and tucking your hair back, not giving you a second to respond as he kissed your forehead sweetly, moving to pepper kisses all over your face, sometimes letting his lips linger as if he was relishing the feel of his lips against your skin. You fisted his shirt and raised your face right when he leaned down, your lips colliding in a passionate, slow kiss that soon started feeling heated as you moved your mouths in tandem with each other, pulling each other impossibly closer.
You broke apart for breath but it looked like the angel was not planning to let you go. He sucked at your lower lip and you welcomed him with an open mouthed kiss, making the angel lose his footing and take a few steps back, your laughter and breaths mingling. You grinned, leaping in his arms and making him back away another few steps as he struggled to maintain balance while kissing you at the same time-
And due to his own fault, forgetting there was a pool full of water behind, he let the force of your kiss physically push him back until there was no ground under his feet and he clutched at you, both of you yelping as you fell in the cool water.
You almost swallowed some but managed to find your way up, laughing helplessly at the state of you two- absolutely drenched. The angel swiped his hair back and you let your eyes roam all over his upper body, the fabric of his shirt clinging to the muscles that Seonghwa had worked hard to build. For a moment, a tiny moment, you remembered Seonghwa but any thoughts of him went out of your head when you spotted Hwa scan your body with a searing gaze that stuck on the way your clothes clung to you.
“Like what you see?” You teased. The angel licked his lips in response, swimming closer and wrapping his arms around your waist, bringing your bodies flush against each other. You breathed heavily, letting his shoulders act as a brace as you lifted your body and captured his lips in a wet kiss, tasting water and kissing him as if he was meant to quench your thirst. You made out for what seemed like hours, his hands travelling all over your body, alternating from kissing your lips to feasting on your neck, his groans and moans fuelling you, your hands and arms singed in various spots, even nicked at places.
“Oh, angel,” you whispered against his ears, sucking at his earlobe. “They might clip your wings for this.”
“I do not need to fly if I am with you,” he declared, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him. “How did you entrap me with that demonic heart of yours, human?”
All you could do was smile devilishly in response. “Maybe you have craved darkness all your life.”
“Perhaps,” he kissed your lips sweetly. “If this is what darkness is… I wish I will never see the light again.”
“Shut up,” you laughed, hugging him tightly.
Angel. Your angel. The light in your dark life.
He kissed the cuts and burns on your arms, preparing you to get hurt for him again. A pain that you were starting to get addicted to.
Seonghwa had never had to apologise for a thing in his life.
Every decision he made came with consequences and he might harbour regrets but he would never bow down in front of someone and apologise. The other parties involved would just have to make peace with that.
He did not believe in the idea of apologising, even when time and time again he caused you hurt or discomfort and you demanded that he show some remorse to make things better. He preferred to let the tension die down instead and let your defences lower until you would forget that he wronged you in the first place. You only had him, so where would you go if you broke things off with him?
However, as Seonghwa got a look at himself through the reflection of the mirror-engraved wall of Assemblyman Hwang’s office, he shut his eyes for a moment and saw red. He willed himself to maintain his composure and smiled at the Assemblyman.
No wonder the man wasn’t taking him seriously.
“- rest assured, we’ll do our best to keep this inside the underworld channels and not let any scandals surface, so you can keep on providing us with the goods, okay?” the man said, pouring red wine for the both of them while Seonghwa clenched and unclenched his fists. “I mean, I know we almost messed up but we were quick to clean it up-”
“If another mess-up happens,” Seonghwa started in a low voice, making the middle-aged man frown, “Not only will I retract and clean up your mess, but I will make sure to wipe all evidence. And that, of course, includes all consumers. You understand that, right?”
Seonghwa took a sip of the red wine, watching the politician fidget with his clothes, a nervous laugh escaping his mouth. “Of course!”
Seonghwa set the glass on the table. “It’s a dark world we live in. Gotta make sure it doesn’t get any darker, yeah?”
The politician, who always rambled about eradicating darkness from the world in his campaigns, grimaced at the mockery of his slogan. Seonghwa got up and left the room, hiding his face with his fur coat as much as he could.
Once inside the privacy of his car, he glared at the driver who squirmed but got the message. Seonghwa slumped back and wiped at his left cheek where the very vivid and recognisable red kiss mark was printed.
He was going to kill you for making a fool of him.
It was his fault- the driver had tried to warn him with a ‘Um, sir… you might want to freshen up before the meeting’. Thinking that the driver was just suggesting that because he was meant to meet a politician, Seonghwa told him that there was no need. He did not need to look anything else than the crazy man that he was. His appearance was crucial in making first impressions, and with this rough look, he wanted to show the politician just who he was dealing with. He had some points to get across.
However, the kiss mark on his cheek watered down that roughness wantonly. No wonder the politician had been smirking for the entire duration of the meeting.
Seonghwa sighed deeply. Again, it was his fault, ultimately. He never apologised for the argument you both had, and after regaining consciousness and finding himself under covers with you, snuggled way too close for his liking, he waited until you got up. He did not like the way your expressions darkened when you realised it was not the angel anymore.
You simply informed him that the angel and you had a talk, and he had decided to block Seonghwa from watching his consciousness. Seonghwa and you got into an argument again where he wondered if you were trying to do something behind his back- an assumption he immediately regretted making- and you told him that the only time Hwa would be blocking Seonghwa would be when you and Hwa had something ‘personal’ going on; nothing regarding Seonghwa and his state- or his business, even. Seonghwa tried to probe in hopes of getting an answer as to what ‘personal’ entailed but you didn’t give in.
And it seemed like he got his answer anyway. While the angel was consciously trying to block him at times, he saw the way you looked at Hwa very well. You used to look at him like this before, eyes wide and expectant, something like affection dripping from them. And now you had found someone else-
Except this was also Seonghwa, technically. One body, one mind, but two different souls.
He just needed to find out if you were serious about this- the angel inside his body was going to leave one day. If you were doing this just to piss Seonghwa off… it was working, but you did not need to go to such extents.
He did not want you to go to such an extent. He did not want to carry your kiss marks just anywhere- those things were meant to stay in the privacy of his house, right? He did not want to wake up with you in his arms anymore, without any memories of how you got there in the first place. He was supposed to be the one who tucked you in bed- only him. He did not want to hear the echoes of your laughter in his subconsciousness- he did not want you to laugh like that in front of just anyone. He did not want his lips to hold the whisper of your name or the taste of your skin- no one could touch you like that.
He was going to kill you. For sure. But first, he was going to block the angel out of his mind.
Seonghwa wasn’t sure how that would work, but he tried his best to focus on what was here and what was real instead of the being inside his head. Once he arrived at your lab where he was supposed to pick you up and take you home, he asked the driver to stay, opting to find you himself. The lab was a nice place to get rid of you- he wouldn’t need to clean the mess. Your own people would clean that up for you, just like they had always wiped the evidence of your sins.
At the sight of your tired figure making a chart on the wall with the progress of your ‘angelic expulsion’ discoveries, all his resolve crumbled.
You had a habit of making charts and calculating probabilities to visualise your learnings- whether it be about your scientific data, theoretical data or mundane things- would Seonghwa be able to kill the rival gang’s leader? Probability– 89 percent. Factors– temper, first and foremost, which affects his strategy and attack. Accounts for 11 percent though the figure may vary on how his day went. Factors– me. Am I in danger? If I am, the probability of winning increases exponentially because he won’t let a fly hurt me. If I am not… does it decrease his willpower? Check-
Seonghwa found himself smiling at the memory- you were making this effort- for him, right? Despite everything, you were trying to get the angel out of his body so he could leave you both alone, right?
You caught Seonghwa staring at you from the window and beckoned him to come inside. He entered with a huff and you frowned at his cold stance.
“What? Did the meeting not end well?” You asked.
“It went well, but it could have gone better were it not for-” Seonghwa pointed at his cheek and it took a moment to click.
“Oh,” you grinned. “Did I forget to wipe that? My bad-”
Seonghwa walked in front of you but you did not move. He peered down at you, watching you with a threatening gaze. It would have worked on others, but it didn’t work on you- not anymore.
“Have you made it your life’s mission to get back at me? This is playing dirty, Doctor.”
“Oh, so I’m ‘Doctor’ now, eh? Keeping it professional this time?” You narrowed your eyes. “Honestly, I forgot to wipe that-”
“You can’t tell me that wasn’t deliberately placed there,” Seonghwa countered.
“It was deliberately placed. Just not for you,” you patted his chest before turning away, wanting to get away from him but he grabbed your wrist and brought you right back where you were- even closer this time.
“This is not the first time, though,” Seonghwa smiled dangerously, fixing your glasses for you and tucking your hair back. “It’s a repeated offence, darling.”
It was. You were purposely trying to mess with Seonghwa, that was partly true. From making the angel try Seonghwa’s least favourite drink just before he was about to switch so there would be an aftertaste in Seonghwa’s mouth, to messing up with his appearance or clothes. Seonghwa’s patience was running out for all the right reasons.
“Hmm, well,” you tried not to squirm under his gaze. “I’m guilty.”
“I came here planning to kill you for once and all,” Seonghwa admitted, cocking his head and watching his finger trail down the curves of your face. This wasn’t the first time you had heard this phrase, but something told you that he might actually have been considering it. “But it looks like you are making some effort. Progress, even?”
“Ah, this?” You gulped, looking at the board. “Yeah, I think I’m onto something- but there’s a catch, and… I’ll have to talk with Hwa to make sure this doesn’t end bad for any of you-”
“For any of us?” Seonghwa frowned. “You’re only supposed to care about how it ends for me. That being is an angel, he’ll make it-”
“But I want him to make it out safely,” you interrupted, trying to get a point across but Seonghwa seemed too frustrated to process it. “It would be in our best interests if the angel leaves safely-”
“Your best interest,” Seonghwa pointed his finger at you, giving in and huffing. “Not mine. It was never about me, was it?”
“You’re right, not everything is about you. Just listen to me for once, you fool,” you scolded, making him sit on a stool so you could meet his eyes properly and hopefully assert some authority. “Suppose the angel somehow gets hurt or dies. That’s going to be the end of your empire- a horrible, miserable end. We’re lucky this angel got stuck inside you and all his rage dissipated because you’re too stubborn to let the angel take control. You understand?”
“I understand everything,” Seonghwa said calmly. “I just don’t understand why you care about the angel- what is he to you, y/n?”
What was Hwa to you?
The angel who looked past the sins that covered the entirety of your heart, scratched through the darkness to find a home in your heart. The angel that burned you and hurt you with his love, shed tears for you and healed you only to put you through the pain of loving him again. The angel that wanted you to release him from the clutches of the demon that Seonghwa was, yet wished to stay and give up who he was so he could be with you.
If someone would hear that out loud, they would laugh in disbelief, but you had never craved something good and pure all your life until you met Hwa. You were content in the darkness next to Seonghwa, were you not?
“Cat got your tongue?” Seonghwa asked and you shook your head, but there was nothing else left to say. He asked you to join him in the car and you followed after a few moments with your belongings, the ride home awfully silent.
That night, you did not join him in his room. You stayed in yours, darkness swallowing your room and you. Perhaps, if you stared long enough into the distance, you would become one with the dark.
However, a few hours and a soft knock later, you were joined by your doom and your salvation- only you did not know which one it was thanks to the lack of light in the room. The figure plopped down next to you on the floor with a heavy sigh, his shoulders brushing with yours and you both sat in utter silence.
When his fingers brushed with yours, you almost thought it was Hwa- he must have heard your conversation, must want answers. But when he wrapped your hand in his and squeezed it with a promise, you knew it wasn’t the angel.
It was the demon- and you were no longer sure if he was your doom or your salvation.
“This isn’t a sorry attempt at an apology, is it, Seonghwa?” You asked and you could almost hear him smile.
“I’ll be dead before you hear those words out of my mouth. You know that,” he said and you squeezed his hand back.
A few moments of silence passed, thick with confusion and tension. You caved in and asked, “What’s going on in your head?”
“I don’t know, but the angel is asleep for once,” Seonghwa told you. “It almost feels like I’m back to who I was, except… even when the angel is asleep, I’m carrying remnants of him.”
“What does that mean?”
Seonghwa squeezed your hand in answer- this. This was unusual- sure, there was a certain extent of physical ‘affection’ between you two, if it could even be called affection. It was reserved for teasing, and in rare cases, support.
“I don’t know why I’m here, but I am, and I don’t want to leave.”
“You love me,” you teased and he laughed a bit, but when he did not deny that, your smile fell- and for once, you were glad it was so dark.
“You’re incapable of love, Seonghwa. I think something in you broke when you loved your other half only to let him go so soon.”
His brother- not in the biological sense, but a family nonetheless. While you and Seonghwa were reflections of each other, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had been as similar as they were different. Hongjoong was the light, pulling Seonghwa out of his darkness while Seonghwa pulled him back in. And what a pair they made, balancing each other out in every sense yet never clashing, each rotten in their own twisted ways. It had been Hongjoong’s idea to leave the orphanage and mingle with the gangs- he did not leave with you two but found you just a week later, covered in soot and blood but smiling like a free spirit.
He had freed all the kids from the orphanage that destroyed you all- the people who clipped your wings when you hadn’t even learned to walk. He freed the kids, burned the building and all the guilty parties involved- at the mercy of luck. He got the kids to another orphanage through his connections-
And when Seonghwa asked him if you could use those kids to test your drugs on, Hongjoong had shaken his head in amusement but allowed it. It was ultimately bad luck that took his life only a few years later, right before Seonghwa’s career peaked.
He had not been the same since- and you understood. Hongjoong was your friend too- you grieved with him but he never moved on. He got their nickname tattooed on his neck so he was reminded every moment of what he lost.
“I think I’ve always been like this,” Seonghwa countered. “You just need an excuse to justify my behaviour towards you.”
Well. That was also partially true.
“But you’ve always accepted me as I am,” Seonghwa continued. “Some might think you actually love me, y/n.”
“But I do,” you admitted with a whisper. “I thought you knew that by now.”
“You love the whisper of good that you think I possess, dear,” Seonghwa corrected gently. “And once I got possessed by the angel, you found an excuse to love me without harbouring any guilt in that twisted heart of yours.”
If words could tear your heart apart- this was why the truth was so harsh. You took a shuddery breath and Seonghwa caressed your hand.
“You weren’t meant to live in the dark, y/n. I pulled you in and clung to you because you were the only one who saw me for who I am. Perhaps, even a better version of who I was, though I didn’t need that.”
“That’s arguable,” you laughed a bit. “I’ve got more blood on my hands than I can ever atone for. All for what? For science? For you?”
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” he teased. You both chuckled at that, knowing very well how bad it was. You let a few moments pass, clutching on to his hand and he sensed the question before you said it out loud.
“Why did you come inside the room that day, Seonghwa? Why did you try to shield me from the angel?”
Silence. Only the sound of your breaths in the room.
“To protect you, of course,” Seonghwa answered. “Because you are my weapon, and I am your shield.”
Oh, him and his words.
“Isn’t it the other way round?” You pondered out loud. “You act like my weapon sometimes too-”
“Because,” he said, almost sounding as soft as the angel. “Because I saw the angel look at you the way only I am supposed to look at you. Did he take a look into your heart? Did he find it captivating- is that why he decided to possess you? I could not let the angel taint my warrior any further, so I shielded you.”
“Except the angel liked that,” you sighed in realisation. “The angel found your courage more attractive and got pulled towards you.
“Yet the angel continues to taint your body,” Seonghwa clasped your hand in his. “I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all.”
Silence. The sound of your heart beats.
“There is a pureness in your heart, Seonghwa,” you concluded. “And… there is a darkness in the angel’s heart- I’ve seen it. You balance each other just right. That is why the angel is stuck inside you, and I’m beginning to wonder if you two are beyond help now.”
Deafening silence this time.
“You will try, at least once. For me,” Seonghwa declared.
“I will try more than once for you, if it means it will work and you two will be separate entities, and-” you faltered, the whisper of the promise you made with Hwa ghosting on your lips.
If there was a guarantee that the angel would be able to stay in the human realm after leaving this body, you would perform whatever ritual, whatever sacrifice was required. But if there was none… you would not let him leave this body.
And now with Seonghwa right next to you, you wondered if the promise you made came from your heart. Hwa made you promise that and put the words between your lips, but did you mean it? Were you really going to keep that promise? Would you risk Seonghwa’s well-being for the angel?
Or were you just caught between two utterly selfish beings, holding the key to freedom for one or the other, or none?
When you got a call from Dr. Choi in the middle of the night, asking you to check the files he had sent you and come to the lab if possible, you were glad that Hwa had not taken over tonight and you were in your own room, which meant that you could sneak out without the angel’s knowledge.
And in the middle of tiptoeing through the hall did you realise-
Why were you wary of the angel now?
Sure, the angel had told you time and time again that you could not possibly make use of his essence- you could learn from its chemical composition if that pleased you, but he was adamant about you not experimenting with it. You understood why- working with demonic essence had been risky business and this time, there was the threat of the angel realm finding out about your work too.
However, one thing you had realised in the past few days was that the angel was a soldier at his very core. A soldier of god, bound to duty and true to his morals despite being in a human body and trying to live like one. There were still some boundaries the angel was unwilling to cross, and you were beginning to think if his righteousness was what was hindering you from making some groundbreaking discovery about the essence or if you were simply too trusting of him.
And then there was the fact that the angel wanted you- wanted to be with you. He spent all his conscious hours by your side, looking past your sins and loving you for the person that you were at the very core. He claimed that that person was beautiful and everything he could ever have desired for. He held you as if you were fragile, kissed you as if that was the last time he would get to do so, and loved you like no human ever could. He bowed in front of you and thanked you for seeing him as something other than the being that he was. His love was burning but it was pure.
His love was pure, but it was starting to cloud your judgement and you needed to recalibrate yourself every time you were alone.
So good timing from Dr. Choi too. You drove to the lab yourself and found him wide awake, which was odd because he liked his night sleep very much. You entered the office and asked, “I couldn’t read the notes because I decided to just come and visit. Brief me.”
“You asked me to extract and replicate any components of the angelic essence that is similar to the demonic essence, right?” Dr. Choi pulled a stool for you so you could examine the sample under the microscope. “Take a look at this.”
You gave him a sceptic look before examining the two samples in front of you. For a moment, you were confused before it clicked-
“These samples- they are existing independently, without being linked in any way to the essence as a whole, right?”
“Bingo,” Dr. Choi smiled proudly. “Almost killed myself during the extraction process but I’ve managed to get the non-volatile compounds out of this. Similar to the demonic essence, but still different enough in its properties that experimentation seems like worth giving a shot to.”
“Even if this does not have medicinal properties,” you started to read the notes, “It can still become a different type of drug.”
“A new line of drugs- that’s the least that can come out of this. As for the medical side, we can always keep researching, right?”
“Seonghwa’s gonna be so pleased to hear this news-”
But Hwa.
“The angel won’t be,” Dr. Choi said out loud for you and you pursed your lips. While the doctor was not aware of the shift in your relationship with the angel, he knew very well how adamant the angel had been in not letting you conduct experimentation with his essence. “Does the angel need to know about this?”
“I mean… we could conduct our experimentation in secret. According to him, we might be under threat if we let the essence be consumed as a drug of any sort. Something about how it becomes a marker for the angels. But if we’re just experimenting and erasing any evidence of human consumption simultaneously… that shouldn't be a problem, right?”
“And technically, even if we are found by the angels or whatever, we just… die. Poof. We’re used to living under those conditions anyway- do or die.”
You shared a grin with the doctor, but could you really give him and yourself a go-ahead for human experimentation with angelic essence?
The answer was simple- you could, and you can. This was your decision, and if it were not for the angel interfering with your work, you wouldn’t even be so cautious about making your decisions. This was not you. Were you scared of the angel’s wrath? Sure. You were scared of Seonghwa’s wrath too, it wouldn’t be any different.
But this- this was your realm, and you set the rules here. No one- not Seonghwa, and certainly not Hwa could interfere.
“Contact the orphanage and the prison. We’re getting busy in the coming days.”
~
People argued about what was something that made them feel alive. What sort of human experience was exciting enough to make them feel charged, have electricity buzzing through their veins and heighten their senses?
Some called it ‘the thrill’. They searched for it in the dark pits of this world, succumbing to their desires and inevitably losing themselves, becoming as hollow as shells. While searching for a way to feel alive, they would end up losing all purpose.
Others searched for it in human experiences- love, happiness and other emotions and feelings. They would go out seeking ‘adventure’, connecting with nature and finding meaning in the simplest things- in the creation, in everything around them, in life itself.
You, however, might be the odd one out. You stood at the threshold, tipping between ‘the thrill’ and ‘human experiences’ constantly and finding home at that tipping point. Some might argue that you were delusional and your means of feeling alive was something that deserved a special kind of judgement to have you sent into the deepest, darkest pits of hell. Was hell not simply a concept that humans created to delude themselves? Some found ‘the thrill’ in the hell they created for themselves, while the others used hell as an excuse to shape themselves into what they imagined a human should be.
Your means of feeling alive- you felt the most alive when you were working in your element, in your field. When you were playing with chemicals and experimenting on live subjects - or inspecting the dead. When you were performing practically, creating products and testing them, unhindered by any ethical or legal boundaries. In this lab, you were the creator, the judge and the creation. You were the action and the consequence. Here, you found both the thrill and the human experience. Here, you were truly alive.
“Another one passes,” you watched the vitals of one of your test subjects drop significantly- nothing that could be done about it. You had fed the young adult the angelic essence and though the timespan of the reaction towards it had lengthened a bit, he went into shock soon after. You tried saving the young adult but to no avail. “Another one bites the dust.”
“The things you say sometimes,” Dr. Choi shook his head in amusement, passing you a scalpel and you carefully made a vertical incision along the subject’s upper body, grimacing at the sight of the discoloured blood. “Shit, that’s just like what happened with the demonic essence.”
“Except we’re using the same quantity- that means the angelic essence might be stronger than the demonic one. We need to dilute it further,” you decided and he agreed, continuing with the inspection of the internal organs which appeared almost burnt.
You had been spending more time in the lab in the past few days especially at night to start testing how practical an angelic drug would be. Seonghwa was aware of your recent occupation and was also a little proud of how driven you were this time. He made sure the angel would not look into his memory too much and you both decided to keep the conversation about this topic to a minimum. Seonghwa was also taking over at night time more so he could get proper sleep, he claimed, although you wondered if it was so you could have more time working in the lab.
While the angel wondered if it was because Seonghwa wanted him to stay away from you.
Hwa had no idea of the recent developments in the lab and was only aware that you had contacted the summoner from the ritual that chained him to Seonghwa and were preparing to try another ritual, currently researching if it would be safe for the both of them. He thought that was what you were busy with during the day and was wondering if that was what occupied your thoughts when you were with him.
And if the angel was a little honest with himself… he was a little scared of what you felt for Seonghwa.
He understood that Seonghwa was the only person in your life from the beginning, and your bond with him was something irreplaceable. He also tried to be understanding when Seonghwa started blocking his memories and consciousness actively- if the angel could do that to him, so could he. The angel had no right to complain anymore. However… what did the two of you do when the angel was out of the picture?
Nothing, was the answer. You would work in your respective spaces, sometimes chat about something or anything. On rare occasions when one of you was feeling sentimental, you would find the other and share comfortable silence or tease each other. That was it.
However, the angel may be oblivious to some things but he was no fool, nor was he blind. Seonghwa did feel something for you that went beyond what the word ‘love’ encompassed, and if the angel was really honest with himself, that was what he was scared of.
So at the first opportunity when Seonghwa’s defences lowered just as he was about to fall asleep, the angel violated their recent agreement and took over forcefully.
Hwa looked around, expecting to find you in the room- weren’t you supposed to keep watch on both of them? Or had you gone to your room to rest?
The angel found himself shrugging on a robe over the black tank top that he was wearing before exiting Seonghwa’s room and going towards yours. He knocked softly and opened the door, worried about waking you up if you were asleep, but he found the room empty and your usual belongings gone. So you were not home.
And that meant you had to be at the lab. There was no place else you could be- even your car was not in the garage.
So the angel found himself outside the lab, sensing something off about the air even before he entered. He found the lab room where you usually worked with Dr. Choi empty, your belongings dispersed around the room. So where were you?
A warning song- similar to the one he used to sing to the humans who needed a little reminder of how small and insignificant they really were in this world- started sounding in his head. The angel wasn’t sure if he was singing it or if it was being sung for him.
He got his answer when he found you in the dark basement, the stench of blood and something rotten filling his nostrils. He froze at the sight of you- you were beautiful, lit by the dim white overhead light, but so, so tainted with blood and sin. The dead bodies all around you… the humans that were alive but silently begging to be killed. Your eyes, sparkling as you looked around, blood splattered across your scrubs. The angel looked around and his heart sank as realisation hit him-
You were experimenting with the angelic essence.
The angel saw red before his eyes before he knocked on the door. You looked up and waved at the man, your smile falling when you realised it was the angel in front of you.
“Uh… I’ll be back,” you told Dr. Choi who told you to take your time. You were nearly done anyway and you could go home soon.
You opened the door for the angel, his gaze unforgiving and suddenly, you were gripped with the same fear that you had felt when you first saw him.
“I forbade you to not experiment with the essence, but here you are.”
“Why are you here?” You asked and the angel raised a brow.
“Funny that this is the first thing you ask,” he commented, glancing inside the room through the slightly ajar door. “Y/n… I trusted you to keep your word.”
“Look,” you sighed, taking off your mask and cap. “I’m not doing this for the medicinal drug- you told me that it would be no use and I took your word for it.”
“Then what is this for?”
“For…” you contemplated making an excuse or lying but it was too late. “For the drugs, Hwa. I’m just trying to see if a compound extracted from the essence can be consumed like the ones from the demonic essence are-”
“I told you not to experiment!” The angel raised his voice and you shut your eyes, exhaling. “Why do you need to make a drug out of angelic essence? Do you have any idea of the consequences if this gets out-”
“I do,” you started moving towards another room and once in some privacy, you glared at him, his features seeming sharper with the faint lights casting shadows on his angry face.
“It’s not like I’m manufacturing the drug, Hwa. We’re far from it- I’m only studying.”
“That is how you study?” The angel pointed towards the direction of the room and scoffed. “Killing humans as if their lives mean nothing?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms. “You know who I am. I have blood on my hands- more blood than even Seonghwa has on his. You call him a rotten excuse of a human for who he is, right? Then I’m worse. I’m a demon, and you knew it, yet you chose to love me and hold my hands as if they were a holy relic.”
The angel’s eyes flashed with hurt- of course he knew.
“You are heartless,” he breathed out as if saying those words was hurting him. “I knew that. You are right, I knew who you were. I just thought…”
“That I would change?” You shook your head. “You thought that I would become a better person? Well, this is who I am, angel. This is what my life is. You asked me not to experiment with the essence, but you know that my heart’s deepest desire is to create more advanced drugs. You can’t stop me from doing anything to get there.”
“That is what my word means to you,” his expressions shifted from hurt to anger. “That is what my love means to you. You heartless devil. You and Seonghwa really were made for each other.”
“I may be heartless but you’re naive, and don’t think for a moment that you have any control over me, angel,” you spat the words, taking a few steps towards him for emphasis. “And you- you’re a liar. You told me that we could not get anywhere with the essence. You said you could not lie.”
The angel’s eyes almost glowed with the whirlwind of emotions that he was feeling, and your pointed finger in his face wasn’t making things better. He curled your finger back into your fist and held it in his hand, his touch physically burning you and you snatched your hand away with a yelp.
“Angels cannot lie, but they can hide the truth.”
A wave of anger washed over you and you looked at him in disbelief. “What other truths are you hiding from me? You know how to get out of this body, don’t you? Are you staying back on purpose? Are you not letting go of this body on purpose, Hwa?”
“You asked me to stay,” he smiled and you thought there was something sinister about his smile, especially as he started tucking your hair back and lightly caressing your face. “You think I am a liar, my love?”
You shook your head, nothing making sense anymore. “Just tell me if you know how to get out of this body without hurting Seonghwa.”
“I am neither lying nor hiding the truth about this. I do not know how to get out of this body.”
“Is that the complete truth?” You dared to ask and the angel didn’t answer, holding your hurt hand and saying his prayers before starting to kiss it wherever it was burned. Tears of frustration started stinging your eyes and you looked away from his burning gaze.
“Do you hate me?” The angel asked with a cautious voice and you did not respond.
It shifted something in the angel, perhaps indefinitely.
“Do not ever look away when I look at you,” he commanded, his voice settling in your bones and you felt as if you were almost compelled to meet his eyes. His face was void of expressions, gaze dark and he cupped your face, making you shut your eyes in pain when his touch started singing your skin but the angel did not care- he was far too gone in that moment. He moved closer, your bodies flush against each other and he trailed his lips along your forehead, peppering kisses along the way and then he kissed your wet lids, drawing back.
“Look at me,” he commanded again and you opened your eyes. You were frozen in place- not because you were scared, but because you simply could not believe that the angel was hurting you like this, his hands moving to your neck, wrists and any bare skin he could find, imprinting his touch in the form of light burns. He moved to kiss your cheek, licking the tears away and your breath quickened-
His love was pure, but this? This wasn’t who the angel was.
Or were you just now getting to see the true face of the angel?
As he continued to kiss your neck and leave more singes on your skin, your body responded almost automatically and you curled into his figure, shuddering. You recalled reading something about angels and fallen angels in a book– it said something about how the angels were just god’s warriors, hollow at their core, one of their wings marred with blood for eternity. You asked Hwa what really was the difference between an angel and a fallen angel at their very core, and he did not have an answer-
Was it because he was also someone like you, struggling to stand on the threshold between being an angel or becoming a fallen angel?
What sort of an angel would hurt their human like this?
And how did this angel go from crying because his touch burned you to purposely burning you? Maybe this was your fault too- you let his love burn and consume you. You were no better.
“I am violating the core of who I am in loving you,” the angel whispered in your ear, his hair tickling your cheekbone. “Do not take advantage of that… little bird.”
“Let me go,” you cupped his face, looking straight into his eyes, the name he called you finally giving you some clarity. “Let Seonghwa take over- please.”
“No,” he shook his head. “You can’t ask me to go now-”
“You’re hurting me,” you said and it was as if he could finally see the redness all over your skin. “Go, angel. Give me Seonghwa back.”
The angel’s eyes flickered with hurt, his eyes travelling all over the places that he burned you and it was as if he finally broke from his trance- he muttered a prayer and started peppering light kisses all over your face wherever his touch had burned you, his heart aching as he saw the fresh stream of tears roll down your face. Before he could do something about your neck or your hands, you drew away.
“Please, that’s enough for now,” you hardened your gaze. “We will talk later, when you are in your right mind. Let Seonghwa take over.”
“Oh, heavens above,” he sighed, ashamed of his actions and silently cursing himself. “I hurt you too much-”
“It’s-” you paused before you could finish saying the sentence.
It was not okay. You wouldn’t be telling him that it was okay to hurt you ever again.
Before you could say anything else, the angel groaned uncharacteristically and you watched as the shift happened, visible in the demeanour change, except-
Seonghwa took one look at you and almost lost his footing, struggling to stand as he clutched at the table. You reacted immediately, making him sit on a stool and asking him if he was alright, but he only held your hands with his own shaky ones and hid his face between them.
“Seonghwa?” Your voice came out in a small whisper- you had never seen him so weak. He wasn’t crying but he very well might have been with the way his body was trembling and he was breathing unsteadily.
“Talk to me, Seonghwa,” you urged, “What’s wrong?”
“I…” he sighed heavily, looking up at you with tired eyes, the rage obvious behind them. “I fought for consciousness the moment I heard you cry. Who hurt you?”
You.
“It’s the angel, isn’t it?” He examined your hands, trembling with the intensity of emotions that he was feeling- perhaps, a leftover product from the angel too. “He hurt you.”
“Seonghwa,” you sat down in front of him, on your knees. “I’m okay. It’s going to be okay-”
“It’s not,” he shook his head adamantly. “You have no idea how much I’m struggling to not let the angel swallow me whole- I’m scared to think of what would have happened if the angel lost all control just now.”
You silently shook at the thought and he caressed your hands before continuing.
“Sometimes, it feels like if he takes over my consciousness, I will get lost in the dark pits of my own subconscious forever. But now… I realise why I’m sometimes hesitant to regain consciousness too. Because-”
He looked at your marred hands, caressing the burn marks on them lightly. “Do you know what I’m afraid of, y/n?”
You shook your head. “You’re afraid of nothing, as far as I know.”
Seonghwa smiled tiredly. “You’re right. I am afraid of nothing- I was afraid of nothing. But now… I’m afraid of seeing these burn marks on your skin whenever I wake up. How could you let him hurt you like this? You were supposed to be my warrior.”
“And you were supposed to be my shield,” you smiled sadly. “When you’re not there… I get burned.”
Seonghwa looked down, unable to meet your eyes. “This is what I’m afraid of. Hurting you and watching you love the very thing that hurts you. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life but now… I’m afraid of losing you like this, y/n.”
Seonghwa. The most notorious mafia lord with no such thing as a ‘heart’ was afraid of losing you. Afraid of hurting you and seeing you hurt. Was this not what pure love was supposed to be, as opposed to your angel Hwa’s, who had better things to worry about?
You once asked the angel what he was scared of- other than the obvious. He talked about punishment. He was afraid of doing the very deeds that he would be sent to give punishment for. He was afraid of divine intervention- it was something that was scary to witness even as the audience. He was afraid of the future, of this world and its corrupt nature.
And the angel was afraid of loving you only to lose you.
Was Seonghwa’s love for you not purer than the angel’s love, then? Seonghwa would go to hell and back for you. Seonghwa bowed down only in front of you- you, who were a part of him, a part of his soul, he would sometimes call you.
The angel would only bow in front of god.
“You won’t lose me,” you promised though the words were of no comfort to both of you. Overcome by his emotions and some hard truths about what his future looked like, he brought your hands closer with his own shaky ones and pressed a promising kiss on both your hands. When you shifted to hold his hands instead and tried to make him look at you, he shut his eyes.
He could not look at you. Not now.
“Seonghwa,” you called, lifting yourself up a little so you could be at eye level. “Won’t you look at me?”
He only lowered his head further and you embraced him, sighing in relief when he shifted so he could hug you back properly. You let him come to terms with whatever he was feeling- he wasn’t going to talk about it but at least you could help him through it. You caressed his head without a fear of getting hurt for once, and he mustered up the courage to kiss you on the cheek.
You froze momentarily- Seonghwa rarely ever kissed you anywhere except the top of your head (that was his form of silently apologising). He nudged your cheek with the tip of his nose, his warm breath caressing your skin and you moved back slightly, making the mistake of looking him in the eyes-
You had asked for it, though. And now that he was looking at you, so close, you forgot how to breathe.
His hand went around the back of your neck, craning it so that he could make space for himself. He joined your foreheads, taking a deep breath.
“I won’t let the angel ever hurt you again. That’s a promise, okay?” He whispered and you nodded, your noses brushing against each other. He shut his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration as he deliberately nudged the tip of his nose with yours, your lips almost brushing in the process but the ghost of his lips remained on yours.
You whispered his name- a call, a plea, and he almost gave in, reminded of the memories of kissing you that he had seen flashes of from the angel’s memory- oh, how he wanted to kiss those lips himself. He felt a sharp pain in the head slice at him, a reprimand from the angel, a warning. Seonghwa brushed his lips against yours once again just to piss the angel off before drawing back with immense effort, kissing your forehead instead.
Your figure sagged in disappointment, tired from the yearning. You rested your head in his lap and gave yourself a few moments to recollect your thoughts.
You would not question Seonghwa and his actions anymore. You knew exactly what was happening. You knew what you had to do now.
There is always a moment in your life when it feels like you’ve had an awakening- as if all this time, you had been wearing the wrong pair of prescription glasses, or not wearing anything to help your blurred vision. So when you finally fix the problem, or realise what the root of all your troubles is, you start to see the world with a sudden clarity. Everything seems sharper, you can see the fine lines that you would otherwise have missed, and it’s like you have a new perspective to the world, even.
At least, that’s how you feel as you perch your reading glasses up your nose bridge, craning your neck to the right and flipping through the pages of a dark arts history book, recalling that you had read something in it which seemed to be connected to the current theory you were working on-
The theory being that angels were, in fact, worse liars than demons. Demons had a habit of being overtly honest- the only problem was that they were tricksters and spun their words such that it would be hard to unravel the truth from. Angels, however, were outright liars in the sense that they would conceal the truth and mislead you by not telling you the complete truth.
At least, that’s who Hwa was.
You spent the first couple of days trying not to have a mental breakdown and asking both Hwa and Seonghwa to leave you alone while you figured out your feelings for them but more importantly- just how much the angel had misled you? Was there anything he said about the angelic essence and its experimentation that was the complete truth? So far, there had been no warning siren ringing to inform you of some divine punishment. The heavens had not fallen over your head. You were just fine, and you were pretty sure that your experimenting was enough of a marker for the other angels. Why was no divine being interfering then?
And just what was the truth about the angel not knowing how to leave this body? Was he not leaving on purpose, a selfish angel who simply wanted to experience what it was like to not be a warrior of god? Was he staying because of you? Did he really love you or was that just an excuse to stay back in this world and delay going back to his own?
Because he did love you- oh, how he loved you. His love threatened to consume you whole with the way he held you like you were fragile and would break under his touch, contrasting with the way his touch would sometimes burn you when he was overwhelmed. His kisses were overflowing with emotions, a pure exhibit of his desire while holding a dark, almost sinister undertone to them when he would grip you tightly as if forgetting you were human. His whispers contained promises in a foreign language that you did not need to interpret- his vows were clear in his eyes and his possessive hold.
His love also threatened to break you in the way that a trapped bird was scared of stepping outside its cage for the first time. It was Hwa who made you experience what being normal would have felt like, were you not bound to Seonghwa and his drug business. You experienced so many of your firsts with Hwa and it was him who showed you what a normal life could have been like- you did so much with him that you could have never done with Seonghwa. Seonghwa had only given you limited freedom and while you did not hate that, you always wished to spread your wings and fly.
Maybe you flew too close to the sun. Perhaps, that’s why you were burning both from outside and from within. Maybe you were meant to love the moon but the moon liked to hide behind the clouds so you chose the next best thing. You had to fill the void in your heart somehow, and who better to fill it than a literal divine being that wore the skin of the man you had loved your whole life?
You were the only selfish one here, but selfishness had always been your greatest weapon and you would be sure to make use of it when the time would come. For now, you were coming to terms with how Hwa and Seonghwa were also selfish for their own reasons- Hwa, because he did not want to face the consequences of his actions and Seonghwa because he simply wanted to be free and whole again. He would probably kill you once he was- it didn’t feel like a bluff anymore.
However, there was also another hard truth about all of this, and that was that Hwa would give you up in a second for ‘the greater good’ or whatever moral code he needed to satisfy in order to please God and his fellow angels and get back to his realm if caught. You wanted to tell him that as an angel, perhaps he had sinned too much and if he ever went back, they would probably clip his wings and turn him into a fallen angel. You wanted to claw at him and make him stay with you forever simply because you could.
And the only reason you weren’t making him stay was because Seonghwa was the one who would burn down all of this world- the heavens above and hell below- for you. It might be out of love or out of a desire to prove that you were ultimately his, a dangerous obsession, but you were his priority. And you couldn’t help but wonder what things would have been like if he had kissed you that night in the lab and finally faced his feelings for you- though a part of you wondered if his feelings for you were partly because of the angel rubbing off on him.
So it was no wonder that you were losing your mind trying to put the feelings aside and work on finding a solution to this cursed turn of events. Now that you had an objective perspective (still arguable), you were realising that the divine punishment the angel was so afraid of might only be reserved for the angel himself. Perhaps, the human would be spared from it until it was their time to die and face judgement by their creator. It made sense because there were absolutely no instances of an angel summoning ever recorded.
Demons liked to be summoned, which was why there were countless records of it. Angels were summoned by force, though. You surely were not the first person in this world who had summoned an angel but you might make a difference if you recorded this summoning. That made you wonder- was it the recording part that was the problem or were the humans involved really wiped out if they interacted with angels?
If the latter was the case, you would have faced judgement a while ago- when you summoned the angel. Surely, other angels must have heard the call too. They would have intervened when their comrade got stuck inside a human or fell in love with one. Maybe the angels only interfered to make sure no traces were left of an angel summoning- that way, Hwa’s admission of the angelic essence leaving a trace and serving as a marker would be verified.
Whatever it was, the matter was in your hands now. So far, you had a few ideas- that you could use the angelic essence to lure the angels and face judgement- whatever it was, however it would be delivered. Chances were that only Hwa would have to face the consequences and while it broke your heart, you were sure the angels would at least wipe your memories to ensure another incident like this does not happen again. If your memories were wiped, you would not remember Hwa. That was probably the most risky route you could pick considering the angels could just kill you and Seonghwa and move on. You did not want to die just yet- at least not for Hwa.
Another idea was to try and attempt a reverse summoning ritual, which was a very theoretical concept with no specific details and no attempts recorded. For that, you needed an anchor in the realm that the being concerned was from, and you had no such anchor. Again, you could not risk involving another angel.
If you were the only one who could put an end to this, your resources were very limited. All you had was your drugs and your lab and-
Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a soft knock on the door and the door opened to reveal Seonghwa- as soon as you met the man’s curious eyes, you knew it was Hwa instead.
“You’ve been holed up in here for hours now,” his concerned voice said. “Come on, let’s get some fresh air.”
“Ahh, but I think I was almost there,” you straightened your back and stretched your arms, producing cracks. “Or not. Nothing makes sense.”
“That’s okay,” Hwa smiled. “Maybe some fresh air and a meal will help. When you get too focused on something, it’s good to reel back and change your environment.”
“You’re right, actually,” you got up, shutting your devices but letting the books and notes stay as they were. “I’ll join you after I freshen up.”
“Great- wear a coat. We’ll go eat something outside.”
“Someone is in a good mood today,” you eyed the angel with suspicion but he only raised his hands in the air, pressing his lips in a tight line.
“You know I’m still making it up to you. After what I did- I still feel ashamed.”
You frowned at that- you knew the angel was making an effort to be better. He had apologised until you got sick of it and warned him not to. He resorted to giving you space when you wanted but also trying to make you feel better- asking you before he touched you in any way, making sure you ate your meals and weren’t pushing yourself too hard. He could finally understand why you wanted him and Seonghwa to be two separate entities and for once, he was cooperating.
Another change you had noticed was that Hwa was starting to sound a lot like Seonghwa- in his speech, and often in his mannerism. It was unnerving but you were holding yourself back from complaining, focusing all your energy on finding the answer to this.
But for now, you supposed you could take a breather. You slipped on a black overcoat over your sweats and joined Hwa in the garage, deciding to get some ramen from the convenience store. You fell in step with him, walking down the dark streets of your posh society, lit by the full moon and the streetlights, and talking about what you had learned so far- specifically about demons. He was always willing to verify your facts on that subject.
On the way back, when he offered you his hand, you smiled and took it and he proceeded to tuck your hands in his pocket, making you shake your head.
“Have you been watching dramas, Hwa?”
“I was bored,” he went as far as to pout. “Those dramas are interesting. I’m learning a lot.”
“No wonder. You’ve been speaking casually,” you pointed out and he frowned.
“Have I?”
“Yeah, you sound like Seonghwa when he’s in a good mood,” you joked and he scoffed.
“I shall go back to the formal tone then. Perhaps you like that more?”
“I don’t mind either way,” you grinned. “Your formal tone makes you sound a little pompous, if I’m honest.”
“Noted,” he nodded in all seriousness and you squeezed his hand as you chuckled. He glanced at you with curiosity to voice a question that had been on the tip of his tongue all along, “Did you find something worthwhile today?”
You glanced back at him, gauging his expressions. “Not really. It’s too risky if we get a third party involved, whether it's another angel or humans.”
You didn’t miss how his shoulders slightly relaxed as if he had been tense all this time. He looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath. “If you want me to help, all you have to do is ask.”
“I know,” you swallowed the bitterness his words left in your mouth and covered it with a grateful smile- the trust he had broken in admitting that he had, in fact, lied to you had still not mended. You weren’t going to show a hint of doubt because you were scared of what Hwa would do once he learned that you were willing to let him go- even if that meant letting him go forever.
So for good measure, you stood on your tiptoes to peck his cheek, trying not to break into a grin when he let out a flustered sound. He quickly recovered from it and took it as his cue to wrap his arms around your waist and bring you in for a kiss, sweet and sure.
That was the easiest way to assure the angel that you weren’t planning something devious. There was an itch in your brain and you wanted to talk to Seonghwa before you would ever dare to attempt it. However, before that, you had to make sure the angel felt loved and safe with you- only then would he allow you to have some privacy with Seonghwa.
So you were glad the angel was still holding some guilt in his heart that was preventing him from having a heated session with you. You would rub it in his face by appearing scared or hesitant, sometimes succumbing to your own desires but keeping it restrained nonetheless- just like tonight. You had observed how the angel was especially demanding whenever you were researching on how to get Seonghwa back to normal.
Even now, as soon as you were back in your room, he was bringing your body flush to his to kiss you deeply. You had to admit that Hwa still made your knees weak and made you give in instantly, especially the way he was taking special care to not let you burn anymore. It still happened sometimes, but not like that night in the lab when he had lost control.
And it was ironically the angel’s glowing eyes that led you to your answer, a wave of understanding washing over you as the dots started to connect in your head. You zoned out as the angel finished healing your burns, his eyes going back to normal as he caught your gaze and raised his brow in question to your surprised expressions.
“Everything good?” He asked, caressing your cheek.
“Perfect,” you smiled, hoping it didn’t look like a smirk. “Everything is perfect.”
The angel patted your cheek, checking the time. “I should let Seonghwa take over soon. If you need me, I’ll be here, okay?”
“Of course,” you assured him. “I’m just gonna wrap this up and get some sleep. I think the lack of sleep is not helping me find answers.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying all along,” Hwa laughed and you played along until he left the room. Finally realising what Archimedes must have felt when he had his own eureka moment, you rushed towards your notes- not the research material, not the history and dark arts books but your notes from the lab placed safely in a locker.
It could work. Dr. Choi had already unintentionally worked out the logistics of it and was writing a paper on it while he worked to make his research stronger. He was thinking of possible titles and had been rambling about how he wanted to include the phrase ‘angels vs demons’ in it. You were surprised it didn’t click earlier.
You needed to tell Seonghwa- if he was willing to try it, you would reach out to Dr. Choi and work with him.
You collected yourself and went to Seonghwa’s room, standing outside with your heart pounding uncharacteristically, about to knock when he opened the door, sucking in a breath when he found you right in front of him.
“I was going to come to your room,” he scanned your face, frowning at the sombreness in your eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s you, right? Seonghwa?” You asked cautiously and Seonghwa nodded thrice- a code to let you know that the angel was nowhere near. He let you inside and you shut the door, facing him.
“I think I’ve found the answer,” you told him in a whisper. “But it’s risky, and I’m scared to try it.”
Seonghwa rubbed his face, tiredness evident in the way his shoulders seemed to be slouching. His hand settled on his neck over the tattoo that was visible from the black pyjamas. “Every method is risky. What do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It could work. It’s scientific this time, I’ll tell you,” you shared a cryptic look and he understood. “No third party involved.”
“Has the time finally come?” Seonghwa joked with a faint smile on his lips. “You always said you would love to make me a lab rat one day.”
Your lips quirked in amusement and you looked sideways. “Didn’t imagine it would be this serious. I imagined it to be a prank or something. Old me would be ecstatic to learn that I get to tie you to my stretcher.”
“How kinky,” he scoffed and you shot him a glare- this was serious for you and you knew he was trying to keep the mood light for you.
A moment of silence later, he asked, “What do I need to do?”
You leaned against the door, your hands tucked between your back and the door. Oh, how you wished you could hold him and tell him exactly what he needed to do. How you wished you could turn back time so you were back at the office insisting Seonghwa let you try angel summoning, only this time he tells you off. It was funny how meeting Hwa, the angel, was both something you never wanted to forget and something you wished you had never experienced.
It made your yearning for Seonghwa so much stronger. Perhaps, Seonghwa could feel it in the air- the words you refused to say, the actions you refused to make.
“Say something, y/n,” he furrowed his brows much like the angel yet so different, demanding. True to Seonghwa’s nature. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Does it bother you when I look at you like that?” You asked.
There was a feeling in your gut, strange but so very familiar. Impending doom. A sign that you might never get a moment like this again. You always trust your gut, but actually listening to it was a different subject. No wonder you were here right now.
“Don’t avoid my question,” Seonghwa folded his arms but you shook your head, waiting for an answer anyway. Seonghwa took a deep breath, the small distance between your figures not helping with the lack of clarity in his head.
“Answer my question and I’ll answer yours,” you repeated a phrase you had often used on him, shooting a teasing smile in his direction before letting your eyes wander around the room- anywhere away from his eyes.
“Does it bother me when you look at me like that?” Seonghwa repeated your question, grabbing your attention. “Of course it does. You look at the angel like that-”
“I’ve only ever looked at you like that, Seonghwa,” you sighed heavily. “You were just too blind to notice until you watched me from someone else’s eyes.”
Seonghwa’s heart did break at your admission.
Having to cohabitate with another being- an angel, specifically, had made him realise quite a few things. In the beginning, it was along the lines of how he never wanted to be a ‘good’ person if the angel was the example of that. The angel was dark at its core, though it wasn’t the type of dark people used to describe humans. It was different- otherworldly and all-consuming. The angel was fighting his own demons, and Seonghwa was fine embracing his demons instead.
However, as time passed, his heart softened despite himself. It would be an excuse to say that the angel had rubbed off on him- his perspective had simply shifted because he saw you and the world from an almost omniscient point of view. While his values had not changed, he had learned the value of the people who cared for him- especially you, who always stuck with him even when he did his worst. He didn’t care if it was simply an obsession anymore- he had seen what obsession looked like through Hwa’s eyes.
Your feelings for him, and his for yours… it was something the angel could never have and Seonghwa was fucking glad about it. He may have let the angel stop him from confessing his love multiple times but if this was the last time he was going to hold you close… he would risk angering the angel.
“Answer my question,” Seonghwa asked, his voice uncharacteristically wavering. You smiled sadly.
“All you need to do, Seonghwa, is promise that you will try to fight and that you will win. That you will stay- for yourself, for the empire you have built… for the sacrifices you made and the people you lost on the way,” you paused, your gaze falling on his tattoo. “And for me. Because I’m your weapon and you are my shield, and I cannot navigate this world without your protection.”
“I thought you hated how protective I was,” Seonghwa’s lips started curling into a smile, his eyes twinkling with energy as he stepped closer. “I made you a warrior, y/n. If anything happens to me, I trust you to continue my legacy-”
“You made me a warrior, Seonghwa, but I’m tired of this battle,” you declared, an angry streak in your voice. “Nothing will happen to you. I- I will make sure of that. You just have to stay strong and fight.”
“Even if I’m afraid of the unknown?” Seonghwa inquired, placing his hands on your shoulders and caressing the bare skin of your neck.
“The Seonghwa I love isn’t afraid of the unknown,” you reminded him and he locked eyes with you. “He’s afraid of… what was it? Hurting me? Watching me love what hurts me-”
“Sweetheart,” Seonghwa warned, shaking his head but you laughed out loud, curling your hands around his wrists and holding his hands like he had held yours at the lab.
“Seeing burn marks on my hands?” You teased. “How sweet. Afraid of losing me- how romantic, Park Seonghwa.”
Seonghwa glared at you, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “Kind of regret saying that. If I had known you would hold that over me-”
“I’m holding that over you,” you gently interjected, “so you know that you won’t have to be afraid of anything when you come back.”
Seonghwa looked down at your linked hands, taking a few deep breaths and nodding slowly not only because you were right but also because he had learnt another lesson- that it was okay to love someone. Loving someone didn’t always result in losing them. After his friend Hongjoong’s death, he had grown so cold towards you, pushing you and his feelings for you away, tucking them in the deepest corner of his heart. He was lucky you never gave up on him and made him realise that loving someone wasn’t a weakness but a strength.
A reason for him to fight back against the angel. A real reason, not the materialistic ones- he could build an empire again if he had to, but he could not risk losing you.
“You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to me,” Seonghwa looked at you, watching your lips curl into a smirk. “You devil.”
“Yeah, well,” you took one step closer, looking up at him, daring him to say more. “You’re still here, so.”
Seonghwa stared at you challengingly, a smirk growing on his own lips as he crowded your personal space until your back was against the door. You didn’t shy away, the tension in the air so thick you could feel it caressing your skin along with Seonghwa’s fingers that danced against your collarbone, travelling up the slope of your neck to swipe at your parted lips, his gaze stuck right there.
“Don’t you ever get enough?” He finally asked what had been bothering him the most. How could you use him to satisfy yourself? Sure, maybe you liked the angel, but he would bet his life that it wasn’t the only reason.
“It isn’t you,” you simply answered. “It’s so different. I thought it’d be the same, but by then, it was too late, and now-”
Seonghwa put a finger on your lips to shush you- even though the angel was still dormant, he already knew what you were going to say.
And when you puckered your lips against his finger to kiss it, he wished the angel would die and never come back. He leaned in hurriedly, stopping right as your noses brushed, eliciting a gasp from your mouth.
“When are you doing it?” He asked, referring to your plan.
“Tonight,” you whispered in response, joining your foreheads and nudging his nose affectionately. “I can’t risk him finding out. Keep him at bay tonight, please.”
“If I don’t lose my mind,” Seonghwa whispered, brushing his lips against yours and tightening his grip around your waist. Craning your neck, he brought you in for the long overdue kiss, soft but strong, making your legs go weak and your arms go around his shoulders for support. He drew back to drink your expressions before diving right back in, this time unhurried but demanding, groaning with pleasure in between. When his tongue swiped your lips, you gladly opened your mouth for him, losing yourself in the overwhelming feelings of the love of your life finally caving in to you.
Not once did the angel cross your mind- not when Seonghwa kissed you softly, not when he held you like you would break, and certainly not when he let his desire fuel him as things heated up. You were soon shifted to the bed, Seonghwa promising you that he would make the most of tonight, apologising (for once) for not doing this earlier, holding on to your word when you assured him that you would somehow make this work and set him free.
You let his touch burn you in a way the angel’s had never- searing passion as opposed to a warning. You let your hands run through his hair without a worry, and let his hair tickle your bare skin as he shed the clothes off you. You let him obsess over you and lose control without the fear of getting hurt- yes, Seonghwa could hurt you in ways no one could but he would never hurt you like the angel had. Seonghwa let his desperation and emotions get the better of him tonight, feeling a sense of relief when he was finally one with you.
And only when you spotted the rays of the sun peak through the curtains, having spent all night in his arms, did you move away from his half asleep body to grab something. He peeked up and you smiled, snuggling into his body once again and sharing one last kiss, whispering confessions to each other. You hugged him after, letting your breathing synchronise with his and memorising the feeling.
And then you injected the tranquilliser into his neck, whispering sweet nothings and peppering kisses on his skin until he lost consciousness.
You had been with Seonghwa in the restricted section in the basement of your lab a few times.
Most of the time, he turned up there because he could not reach you- you had a habit of forgetting that time was an actual flowing thing and it did not stop still when you were in a certain headspace- which was experimenting with live subjects. He would watch you from the window, shaking his head at the monster he had created while his heart would simultaneously swell with pride. He would wait until you took a breather and knock on the window to get your attention.
A few times, you brought him to that section yourself, updating him on your progress. One thing you liked about Seonghwa was that he may not be the brains behind your drug production but he was fully involved in it, making note of whatever you needed and making sure you were safe here. He liked to be aware of whatever was going on as well.
However, never did you imagine that he would be your next test subject, tied to the stretcher and looking paler in the harsh white lights that lit up the room. He lay unconscious while you monitored his vitals and made sure the demonic essence being administered to him was not overpowering or harmful in any way other than expelling the angel.
You had a theory that the demonic essence could cancel every ‘impurity’ in the body to dominate as the only ‘impure’ or foreign object in the host. While working on this theory with Dr. Choi a few months ago, before you had ever summoned the angel, you had conducted an autopsy on your test subjects who had died because of the demonic drug. You noted that some of them who had underlying conditions and defects prior to overdose no longer had any defects in their body after death. It was as if the demonic drug had ‘healed’ them first before taking the spot for the sole cause of their death. A true parasitic drug, fighting for dominance to take over its host.
And if it were a demon against an angel… who would win?
You were hoping that the angel would be expelled from Seonghwa’s body, which would be the best outcome. You would quickly have to inject the angelic essence in Seonghwa’s body at that point to cancel the demonic essence- Dr. Choi and you had worked on it when you put Seonghwa in a comatose state, testing what amount of angelic essence was required to cancel out the demonic one.
In the worst case scenario though, one of them- or both- would die. According to Seonghwa, the angel was already eating away at his soul and it was a struggle for him to continue cohabitating in one body. The angel was powerful and stubborn. It wouldn’t give up so easily, so you would just have to pray that your plan would work and end well for all of you. This was your last and only resort.
Seonghwa’s body had started shaking a while ago, presumably when the battle between the angel and the demon began. You were constantly wiping sweat from his body and adjusting the drip, sometimes giving in and squeezing his hand as if to assure both Seonghwa and Hwa that you were here and that you were sorry for doing this to them. As more time passed, his body started to tremble fiercely and you tightened the clasps on his wrists and arms, not sure if they would be able to withhold.
With the damned book that brought the angel to your world resting against Seonghwa’s chest and the holy sword in one hand- tip soaked in wine but not ablaze- you started reading the section of the scripture that contained the angel’s name, Seonghwa’s eyes fluttering open when you repeated it for the third time.
“Hwa?” You asked cautiously, glancing at Dr. Choi who stood near you with the angelic essence vial in one hand and a lighter in the other. You squeezed his limp hand, making him look at you.
“Why did you call me?” He asked, tone as sombre as the first day he saw you. “What are you doing- what is happening?”
“You have to leave this body, angel,” you wiped the tear that rolled down his face. “Go back to your realm for now- just leave-”
You paused when he squeezed his eyes shut, your words eliciting a deep, pained groan out of his mouth. Dr. Choi recognised your signal and set the tip of the sword on fire and the two of you held its hilt, hoping the angel would not possess one of you if it exited the body. You checked the monitor- Seonghwa’s vitals were starting to drop which meant the demonic essence must be working with full force on his body now.
You took the angelic essence vial from the doctor and clutched it in your fist, moving to whisper in Seonghwa’s ear, calling Seonghwa’s name and reminding him of his promise- you have to come back. You have to fight back- you are my shield and I am your weapon, and I am fighting for you. I cannot navigate this world without your protection.
You did not know if it was Seonghwa or Hwa who turned his face so his lips met your cheeks, a confession and a promise tumbling from his mouth. You looked up to meet his eyes but he shut them and fell still.
Muttering a prayer to any deity who was listening, you poured the contents of the vial in Seonghwa’s mouth, Dr. Choi’s hand on your shoulder squeezing it reassuringly. The sound of your sniffles and the crackling of fire was the only sound in the room for a few minutes before Seonghwa sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes opened- unglowing.
“Seonghwa,” you breathed, holding your breath as you handed the sword to Dr. Choi and moved to cup his face, checking the vitals on the monitor before turning your full attention to him. He was already looking at you with a dazed look and you locked eyes with him, waiting for his touch to burn you as you caressed his hair, but nothing happened.
You were okay.
“Seonghwa?” You asked cautiously again. “It’s you, right? Tell me it’s you, please.”
Seonghwa gulped, his mouth awfully dry but he managed to move his head in a nod and the wave of exhaustion finally caught up to you, making your legs go weak as you slumped against his body, resting your head on his chest to catch your breath. Dr. Choi moved around and did the work, untying Seonghwa’s limbs and making sure he was responsive, taking some bloodwork and checking to see if there was anything amiss.
“There are still remainders of both the demonic essence and angelic essence in his body,” he said as he observed the blood. “But I think we’ve done what we could have. It will take a while for him to recover so we can continue to monitor him-”
“I’m fine,” Seonghwa insisted and you stifled a grin, looking up at him. “I’m done being the lab rat.”
Dr. Choi smiled. “Welcome back, Sir.”
Seonghwa shot a glare in his direction as he shifted into a sitting position, ignoring his chuckles and looking at you.
“What did you do?”
“Tried to expel the angel out of your body,” you linked your hands and he squeezed them. “It’s… happened, right? Can you feel him anywhere?”
“Not really,” he scratched the back of his neck, thinking. “This could have gone wrong.”
“Obviously. It could have gone very wrong,” you shuddered at the thought. “But I had to take a chance. Hwa was taking over your consciousness with each passing day, and as much as I loved the angel, I couldn’t let him do that to you.”
Seonghwa regarded your expressions, nodding. “And what if the angel ended up taking over?”
You pursed your lips and shrugged. “I think he would have probably killed me for hiding everything from him. I was prepared for that too-” you looked at your side where the sword now stood in the bucket, the fire doused.
“Anyways, the important thing is that you’re back, Seonghwa,” you smiled wholeheartedly. “Let’s get you out of here.”
Seonghwa smiled back though it didn’t quite meet his eyes. He kissed the back of your hand before letting you go, watching your body move with a newfound energy as you wrapped up everything in the lab, asking Dr. Choi to get some rest as well.
Once back at home, having washed up and eaten a hearty meal, you took Seonghwa to his room and held his hands, locking eyes with him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” You asked, scanning his face.
“Just tired, and you know how there’s still the after effects,” Seonghwa muttered, sighing. “I’ll be fine.”
“If you’re angry at me, now is the time to take it out,” you teased. “Though you knew very well what you were getting into.”
“I’m not,” he scoffed, amused. “Well, I am but not because of this,” he corrected. “But I think I’ve learned to let the anger go now. There’s a reason for everything that happens, and for the decisions we make.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Looks like Hwa’s still inside you.”
“What?”
“There’s no way you said that,” you teased, “You don’t compromise to understand other people- you do what you want.”
“Yeah, well,” Seonghwa shrugged. “The angel must have rubbed off on me.”
You smiled and Seonghwa noted the weariness in your eyes. “Will you… miss the angel?”
“I will… of course I will,” you admitted, looking sideways. “I just hope he’s okay. Can you tell what happened to him? Did he get out or… did he get hurt?”
“He got hurt,” Seonghwa confirmed and you pressed your lips, taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t think he made it, y/n. I can’t tell for sure right now, but it’s not looking good.”
You nodded, squeezing his hands and he moved to embrace you. There were no tears left to cry. You simply clutched onto him and let him calm you down. He let go with a kiss to your forehead.
“Everything will be okay,” he promised and you nodded.
Everything was going to be okay.
“Love, can you hand me the cinnamon powder?” Seonghwa asked, far too focused on the plating of his latest creation even though you were going to devour it in seconds. You told him exactly that as he sprinkled some on the pancakes, making sure the strawberries were set before drizzling chocolate over them.
“Perfect,” his eyes twinkled with the sort of gleam you used to see only when he was about to take someone’s life.
How the tables had turned.
“It’s just breakfast, Seonghwa, it doesn’t have to be that serious-”
“Shh,” he waved a hand in dismissal. “We need a good meal to be in good spirits. And then we can go and shed some blood- Assemblyman Hwang should not have used street gangs to try to expose our network.”
You shook your head, agreeing, but still amused as you watched him pour the freshly blended fruit juice into your glasses.
“Now eat,” he ordered and you bowed mockingly with a ‘yessir’ before you dived in.
The angel had definitely rubbed off on Seonghwa, because there was no other explanation to this. Soon after Seonghwa recovered, he was back to business, making new deals and expanding his network further as if he had some newfound energy- or perhaps, he was making up for the lost time. Whatever it was, you wouldn’t be complaining- you were simply glad that he was back.
Though he was a bit different. Gentler, yet still very Seonghwa with his demanding personality. He also picked up cooking, reminding you of your teenage days when he used to make whatever he could with whatever you had at disposal. He was always creative with his meals, but now, his creative freedom was almost surprising.
Park Seonghwa was back, but a changed man. Still insanely evil at the very core, still driven by his blood thirst and hunger for power. Maybe he had changed only where it concerned you- more welcoming towards you, more understanding of your actions, and so, so loving. His love was as gentle as the angel at times, and as fierce as Seonghwa’s devotion. Sometimes, you were reminded of Hwa- it was a given when they had worn the same skin.
But your Seonghwa was still very human. And that was all that mattered. His love did not burn you and he did not fear anyone.
You finished your meals and went to get ready to go out with him- he was letting you accompany him to his ‘little outings’ more and though he wasn’t getting his hands dirty most of the time, the lackeys doing that for him, he still liked going out in the field himself every once in a while. Today was one of those days and you went to your own room to arm yourself.
Seonghwa got ready first, waiting for you in the lobby, staring at the holy sword that was now a showpiece, perched on one of the walls. He felt almost compelled to trace the hilt of the sword, daring to touch the blade that was capable of harming angels, and with a little shriek he drew his hand back, the tips of his fingers an angry red, burned by the sword.
Seonghwa cursed under his breath, moving to the kitchen for some privacy before muttering the prayer he had said for aeons now, allowing his fingertips to heal. He caught his reflection on the glossy material of the fridge, his pupils glowing and he shut them, taking a few deep breaths to get his powers under control.
He heard the faint thumps of your footsteps as you came downstairs and he fixed his posture and his expressions to mimic Seonghwa before he stepped out of the kitchen, nodding in approval when you showed him your weapons before following you outside.
He let you call you by the name of the human that he was not, and he willingly played along, letting you think that your beloved human had defeated the angel when that was not the case at all. Your beloved human was gone.
Good and evil must coexist in order to survive. But sometimes, the good becomes the evil and the evil becomes the good- they were never meant to balance each other.
It was only a matter of which one would weigh more and tip the scale in its favour.
✩‧₊˚ Warning: smut, addiction, ptsd, mentions of war, violence, fights
✩‧₊˚ Word count: 27.6k
✩‧₊˚ Rating: nsfw
✩‧₊˚ Genre: Harry Potter!au, set in the forties/Grindelwald's time, lovers to enemies!au, tragic love!au
✩‧₊˚ Summary: ✩‧₊˚ Grindelwald's reign holds everyone under terror, and you decide you want to join the right side and put an end to it. But the stars seem to refuse to align for you and your lover as you find yourselves on opposing teams. Will your love prevail, or will you succumb to the darkness? ✩‧₊˚
A/N: My lovelies, I...I am bawling my eyes out ngl, I can't believe I wrote this. Bring a box of tissues with you before you sit down reading, I am already forever sorry if I cause anyone any heartache<3 I have proofread this, but it's past 1am and you might still find mistakes, so I'm sorry about that! There's little time jumps in here, so for a quick clarification, after each divider you'll find them back in the current time (which is still in the forties!). I probably had a lot more things to say, but I forgot and I'm sleepy, so I'll settle for this much: there are probably some inaccuracies to the Harry Potter canon events as I took some creative liberty so yeah, keep that in mind when reading; also Mingi and MC aren't related, they just share the same surname! I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into this oneshot y'all (as into everything I write LOL), so I hope you enjoy! I appreciate all of your thoughts, so please leave feedback, I love reading them!<3 (special shotout to @hwasbbyg because somehow I always have you in mind when I'm writing something Seonghwa related <3) divider
Times were dire, both in the Wizarding World and the Muggle World. Supremist leaders with atrocious views unleashed attack after attack upon innocent civilians, creating more destruction than victory. My heart broke daily reading the newspaper, both the muggle and wizard one. It made my blood boil that two men, so different yet similar upon closer view, would play God and decide what was wrong and right. Who was pure and who deserved to suffer. Nobody was perfect, nobody will ever be. I couldn’t just sit idly at home and be the housewife many women dreamed of becoming after graduating. I wanted to make a name for myself, I wished to become strong enough to save the innocent, to take their side and advocate for those who were too scared or weak to do so for themselves. That is why upon graduating from Hogwarts, I became an Auror. The training was harsh and demanding, but it wasn’t anything I wasn’t ready to bear if it meant it would lead to saving millions of lives. I was sick of all the spilled blood and wailing on the streets, I wished to see peace and serenity, to go to bed without the fear of never waking up again. Four years have passed since I have left the confines of Hogwarts, since I was forced to face the horrors of the outside world, to fend for myself, and to become someone. It was hard and terrifying, but for once, I felt complete. I felt happy with where I stood in my life, I was proud of who I had become. And I knew that as long as Grindelwald isn’t stopped, I shall not rest even for a second.
The auditorium was small in size and stuffed, the benches placed in a circular shape around a platform that had a table sitting on it and a chair. It was deep down on the second level, far away from the Auror’s offices, hidden between the women’s and men’s restrooms. The auditorium wasn’t meant to be easily found and it was only used when a situation had turned dire, when an emergency meeting just had to be called. I had chosen to sit towards the back of the auditorium, closer to the exit as the air felt stale and warm inside the stuffed room, at least thirty aurors squeezed together towards the front of the room. My throat felt parched and my palms were sweaty as I had them placed in front of me, leveling my breaths as Theseus Scamander, the Head of the Auror Office, stood tall on the platform, a forlorn look on his face. Anyone who had picked up the newspaper earlier this morning must’ve seen the devastating news of the destruction caused to the small and welcoming wizarding village, Apo’s Nook. There was nothing left of it, just the ashes of ghosts that would haunt the land and the smoking foundations of destroyed homes that would never flourish again.
I felt a lump in my throat as Theseus sighed long and loud, eyes surveying the auditorium. It was deadly silent in here, everyone was either too mad or sad to say anything. The time was barely nine in the morning and we knew we had a long day ahead of us. This meeting was a top-secret one, whatever was said inside this auditorium would be never allowed to leave the confines of these walls. Only the best of the best aurors were called in, no doubt for a mission that would be challenging both physically and mentally. It wouldn’t be my first special mission, yet I couldn’t help but feel dread for what was to come. A tiny voice in the back of my head tried to whisper warnings this morning while I was getting ready to come to work, my gut twisting nauseatingly and making me more restless than I usually was. Something would happen here today that I wouldn’t like, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Good morning, aurors.” Theseus’ voice rang loudly in the quiet room and I gulped, feeling sweat collect on my nape, under my hair. I didn’t want to get rid of my jacket, finding the warmth it provided comforting, but I was sweating too much. Careful, not to make any sound, I wrestled out of the satin fabric and placed it onto the table in front of me. My dress was thick to protect me from the merciless winter, and it reached just below my ankles as the front had a V-cut that stopped just above the valley of my breasts, “I assume you all know by now why you’ve been called here.”
There was a collective murmur of confirmation to Theseus’ question and I gulped, patting my forehead free of any perspiration, “What occurred in the early hours of today’s morning is—terrible and unforgivable.”
I couldn’t help but let my eyes run over the aurors as Theseus’ voice shook with raw emotion. He was just as affected by the news as everyone else in the room. I fiddled with my fingers as my eyes finally fell on a familiar person, the tiniest smile slipping onto my lips. It brought little comfort and assurance to see my former professor in a place where I was surrounded by fearless warriors who were mere strangers to me, but would soon become my trusted companions. The only other two aurors that I did become friends with throughout the four years of working here were Song Mingi and Jeong Yunho, partners in missions and other aspects of life, and I haven’t seen them in over a month now. They were alive, and as safe as possible, but they were far away from our home, in a land colder and far scarier than what London was at the moment. They were close to the German border, spying on Grindelwald’s men having infiltrated themselves amongst them. They were our precious informants, their jobs far more dangerous than ours at the moment. I couldn’t help but pray every night to a God that listened, that the two people I started cherishing in such a short time would return to me in one piece and alive.
“Grindelwald has destroyed another village,” Theseus’ words snapped me out of my thoughts as Professor Dumbledore turned his head, gaze finding mine, “wizards and witches were killed once again because they refused to join his dark cause. This cannot go on anymore, I won’t allow it.”
Professor Dumbledore bowed his head slightly in a nonverbal greeting before he turned his head, looking at Theseus with an unreadable expression on his face. I gulped and subconsciously reached for the pocket of my coat, feeling around for the plastic holder in the shape of a tube.
“I was given full permission to construct a team that will directly take out Grindelwald’s men until he’s left with nothing, until he’s alone and powerless.” Theseus leered, face contorted into fury, “I shall task you with bringing down these disgraces one by one, dead or alive, I do not care as long they cannot help Grindelwald anymore.”
My fingers tightened around the plastic, my head turning when I saw a man stand up with a heavy-looking folder in his hands approach Theseus, “We have gathered all the information we could about Grindelwald’s most important wizards and witches, they are our main target. I want you all to look at these photographs closely, commit them to memory as each one of you will be handed one to capture and bring forth to the court.”
I watched from the back of the auditorium as the man opened the folder and placed it down on a table in the front row, starting to hand out photograph after photograph. Knowing that I sat way too far in the back, I rose to my feet and swiftly took the plastic bottle from my pocket, slipping it between my breasts so that nobody would see it. Pushing my hands behind my back, I walked down a few stairs until I reached the row that had more wizards sitting in it, grabbing a photograph that wasn’t being looked at yet. The picture was in black and white, but the face of the witch was clear. Something in my stomach coiled as I recognized her being my peer at Hogwarts, just a year above myself, and a Slytherin like I had been too. The man sitting next to me looked at me with a questioning gaze, and I passed him the photograph as he handed me another one, this one of an older wizard who had a cunning look in his eyes as he held a cigar between his teeth. Something was unsettling about his gaze as I leaned against the side of the table, passing it along as another then another photograph passed through my grasp as I committed their faces to memory. Some of these pictures seemed to have been taken recently, right at Apo’s Nook before it went up in flames. My jaw clenched as the witch in the next photograph was grinning widely as if she was taunting us, and I accidentally passed it to the man next to me a bit too harshly as he gave me a concerned look. I ignored him and took a deep breath, fingers itching to hold onto the plastic bottle hidden between my breasts. The news this morning had been too shocking, and I had no choice but to take two pills instead of one. It wasn’t healthy, but I did force my breakfast down my throat in hopes that it wouldn’t make me feel ill if I doubled the dose.
The next photograph that was passed to me was flipped upside down, and I sighed as I braced myself for another unfamiliar face to commit to memory, except that when I flipped it, my whole body froze, blood going cold. I tried to gulp, but I couldn’t due to the lump in my throat. My lungs contracted, and I desperately tried not to gasp as my fingers dug into the fragile paper and I fought the urge to rip the photograph into shreds. I knew this would happen sooner than later, but I realized how completely unprepared I was for it. The wizard in the photograph was smiling widely, the photo not recent at all, his round eyes turning upwards at the corners, his front teeth on full display. His hair had been freshly cut before the photograph was taken, yet it still fell in his eyes as he failed to style it—he was talented at many things, yet he never quite learned how to tame his wild hair. I could feel my hands start to shake the longer I stared at the face of my first love, my heart beating so fast my ears started to ring. I struggled to breathe and I knew I was turning pale as my lips parted, a quiet gasp leaving through them. It was enough to alert the man sitting next to me as I felt his eyes on me, but my body couldn’t react to anything as I crumbled up the photograph, throwing it far away from myself. I heard my name being called and words that sounded like they were asking if I was alright, but my vision had started turning black from the lack of oxygen. The room was too small, too stuffy, too warm; I couldn’t breathe.
Hands still shaking, I gripped my dress and lifted it above my ankles as I abruptly turned around, eyes settling on the exit desperately as I felt my feet take me up the stairs, running as I extended my hand way before I have reached the door to grab the handle. My heart was in my throat and the ringing in my ears was as loud as a kettle’s whistle, and I yanked the door open with all the force I could muster up due to the tremor of my whole body. The air of the hallway hit me hard, making me gasp loudly as I slammed the door shut behind me, feeling tears prick at my dry eyes as I flung myself forward, hands cushioning my crash as I flew into the wall in front of me, forehead banging against it. I needed it, I needed something painful to shake me out of my borderline psychotic state. I couldn’t take another pill so soon, I really just shouldn’t. I bit my lower lip as I struggled to take deep breaths, the tremors of my body worsening as my hands curled into fists, forcing me to close my eyes. The ringing in my ears had started to subside, but my heart was still beating way too fast and my throat was too dry. I really couldn’t take another pill just yet; however, my right hand was reaching for the bottle without wasting another second as I uncapped it and grabbed two pills out of it, throwing them back as my eyebrows furrowed, struggling to gulp them down at once.
I stood desperately waiting for the downers to kick in, the thumping of my head subsiding as the ringing of my ears went away completely, the tremors of my body remaining, however. I felt my muscles trying to relax, not even having noticed how tense they had become, and I gulped as I turned around to press my back against the wall, groaning as my head fell back. My throat had started hurting, the pills having scrapped it, but I couldn’t care less as my frantic heartbeat had finally started slowing down. I heard the door of the auditorium open, and my eyes opened as I watched my former professor approach me with a concerned look on his face. He held a plastic cup that he extended towards me, and I took it eagerly, downing the cool water as it finally soothed the ache in my throat. I crumpled the plastic in my fist, sighing long as I looked at Professor Dumbledore, wondering what was going through his mind having seen me in such a hysterical state.
“War is harsh,” As if reading my thoughts, his eyes twinkled with that familiar warm glint, “it affects everyone differently. You’ve seen things no woman your age should have, but you are a talented auror, Miss Song. However, I fear you won’t be amongst us for much longer if you continue abusing those.”
I felt shame crawl up my body as the professor’s eyes fell on the bottle, and I quickly hid it behind my back, “I’m sorry.”
I felt like a little child that was being scolded for doing something bad as I averted my gaze away from Professor Dumbledore’s, and sniffed as I noticed my heartbeat had finally returned to its natural rhythm.
“How are your parents doing, Miss Song?” Professor Dumbledore’s voice was soft, and I shrugged looking up at him.
“They are scared, as is everyone else.” I sighed, biting my lower lip, “I have moved them to the Wizarding World in hopes of keeping them safe, but nowhere is safe anymore, Professor.”
“It’s saddening, indeed.” The professor nodded, sharing my feelings of sadness that were slowly turning into despair, “But I think you did the right thing. The Wizarding World might not be the safest place at the moment, but it is a lot safer than the Muggle World.”
It was reassuring to hear the approval of my much wiser and smarter professor, and for a second, I believed that I had done something right for the first time in a long time. No matter how many dark wizards and witches I have captured, I never truly felt accomplished. It wasn’t enough, because I knew I could do better if sent on even more missions, and finally, the chance to fulfill my selfish desires while proving myself to be good and useful to my superiors, had come.
“Are you feeling any better now, Miss Song?” The professor’s eyebrows raised as I quickly hid the bottle back between my breasts and nodded, squaring my shoulders back. There it was, the condescending look of deep thought crossing the professor’s face as he looked towards the ground, humming lowly, “When it comes to the matters of the heart, it’s a slippery and unsure territory, Miss Song. You might think you are prepared to face whoever and take them out, but if you haven’t completely let go of them, your heart will outrule your conscious, your rationality. Even if you have long released the feelings you had once harbored for them, your more rational side might stop you, might hold you back from delivering the final blow.”
I felt tears trying to prick at my eyes as they snapped up, boring into Professor Dumbledore’s as he had a sad smile on his lips, “It’s difficult to forget your first love, Miss Song, no matter how deeply they have wronged you.”
The tremors in my hands haven’t disappeared and wouldn’t go away today, but they halted for a second as I gulped, throat feeling dry again, “He chose his path consciously, as I have chosen mine. Our beliefs have never truly aligned, it was just wishful thinking on my side, Professor. Love, an emotion I do not feel towards him anymore, isn’t stronger than my rational mind. If I would have allowed my heart to lead me throughout my life, I would be by his side now, wallowing in self-misery and pity for all the lives I allowed perish.”
“I have recognized your passion the moment you sat on the stool on the night of the sorting, Miss Song, you’ve known from the very first moment what you wanted and how to get it. I fear I haven’t met a Slytherin as determined and stubborn as yourself, Miss Song—”
“Not even Tom Riddle, sir?”
The professor’s expression suddenly became leveled, warm smile turning into a rather forced one, “I fear I cannot compare you to Tom Riddle, Miss Song.”
I hummed and smiled, memories of the younger boy bashing the professor for even the smallest inconvenience returning. I had never figured out where their distaste came for each other, but as it wasn’t my business, I never prodded more than necessary. I fixed my hair and made sure the little bottle couldn’t be seen as I glanced past the professor, feeling calm enough to join the aurors again, “We should head inside before they deem me unfit for this task, I would hate to miss out on this one, Professor.”
“They cannot afford to lose an auror like you.” Professor Dumbledore chuckled with a thoughtful look on his face as he led us towards the door, opening it for me like the true gentleman he was. I thanked him quietly as I stepped through the threshold, the lump back in my throat as the room went silent at once, everyone turning around to watch me and the professor as we descended the stairs. I went to sit at my initial spot, but Professor Dumbledore gently grabbed my elbow and veered me towards his seat, a witch making a place for me as she had an understanding look on her face.
“Is everything alright, Miss Song?” Theseus asked once the professor and I had taken our seats, the curious eyes of the other Aurors still watching me. I gulped and placed my hands on my knees, trying to hide the tremor behind the desk so that nobody would see it.
“Yes, Mr. Scamander, my apologies for storming out like that.” My voice was leveled as I forced my face to relax, and an easy smile appeared on my lips, “I felt a little ill this morning, I suppose it returned suddenly.”
“Right,” Theseus hummed, a smile matching mine on his lips, “that is reassuring to hear; however, I do wish for a quick recovery should it get worse.”
“Thank you.” I bowed my head as my hands fisted my dress, my heart rate picking up again as I felt the witch next to me gently rub my back. I wasn’t fond of being touched by strangers, but I didn’t have the willpower to ask her to stop. Finally, seemingly content with my half-assed lie, the attention wasn’t on me anymore as everyone went back to conversing with each other. Theseus cleared his throat and walked towards our table, Professor Dumbledore gathering the photographs as they were scattered around on the desk.
“While you were taking a breather, Miss Song, I have informed your colleagues that each one of them will be assigned a dark wizard to survey and consequently take down whenever the Office seems fitting.” I tried to gulp, my throat going dry once again. The witch was still rubbing my back and her touch had started burning my skin through my dress, making me fidget with my hands as I released the grip I had on my dress. I knew this was coming, but I didn’t feel ready. If I could’ve, I would’ve downed the whole bottle of pills, not minding if I would have been the one in need of a funeral.
“I see, Mr. Scamander, who had been assigned to me?” I felt the professor’s eyes take me in carefully as if I were a ticking time bomb, and the hand of the witch was finally away from my body, her sigh too loud as Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat.
“Records say you have been peers with Park Seonghwa at Hogwarts, yes?” I failed to inhale air as my lungs contracted, my worst nightmare lay right in front of my eyes and ears, “Professor Dumbledore, could you confirm this for me?”
“Yes, Mr. Scamander, Miss Song and Mr. Park had been my students barely four years ago.” My eyes burned as I blinked them fast, scared that tears would flood them as my hands shook more, itching to grab the bottle even if for little reassurance. The sedatives weren’t working as they should have, I shouldn’t be so wired up and nervous still. I figured I should buy something stronger; the muggles were more lenient when handing out sedatives than the wizards if you knew how to put on your best act.
“Indeed,” My voice was emotionless, and I knew my face was unreadable as Theseus’ eyes narrowed, “I know Park Seonghwa, but just merely. He was a great student I often had to compete with for the first place in our year.”
The longer Theseus’ eyes bore into mine, the more prominent the soft prodding in my forehead became. I knew what he was doing, way too familiar with the feeling of having my mind invaded. He was searching for memories of Seonghwa and me, of anything that could prove I wasn’t lying and that our roots didn’t grow deeper than a surface-level acquittance. It was laughable how easy it was to veer Theseus around my mind, to trick him into seeing only what I wanted him to see. He wasn’t a born Legilimens, I could feel he was less strong than the likes of Tom Riddle, who was a born natural in his talent, and so, I knew Theseus wouldn’t figure out that I—in fact—was a born Occlumens, the will of my mind stronger than his surface-level talent. I watched as a satisfied expression settled on his features upon viewing the images I allowed him to see, like the brief snappy exchanges between Seonghwa and me when we were in class, trying to show off to the professors, or the duels where we loved to flaunt our skills, or the brief acknowledgments in the hallway when we so happened to pass by each other.
“Very well, Miss Song,” Theseus muttered and then slammed a photograph down in front of me, a much younger Seonghwa smiling mockingly at me, “I trust you to do your best and bring him to his downfall. Mr. Park is an important asset to Grindelwald’s army; we need him gone.”
“He shall be gone, then.”
1943
The classroom was full of vigor as everyone pilled inside, rather excited to see what Professor Merrythought had up her sleeve for us today. She had promised a dueling class sooner than later, and, as we happened to be ahead on our curriculum in DADA class, we got permission from Headmaster Dippet to go ahead and transform our usual classroom into a dueling ring. This year, the Slytherins shared most of their classes with the Ravenclaws, the DADA class being one of them. I let my eyes run over the crowd of the gathering 6th-year Ravenclaws on the other side of the classroom, pressed up against the wall much like myself and my housemates. Despite the majority of students being in their 6th year, Professor Merrythought found it essential that all students above the age of fourteen learn how to duel due to the imminent threat looming above our heads, both in the Wizarding and Muggle World. Therefore, it came as no surprise that younger students were ushered inside by Professor Merrythought, who had a grin on her face. Finding the person I had been looking for in the crowd, on the other side of the classroom, a tiny smile made it onto my lips as I found him already looking at me attentively. His dark hair, once again, fell wildly around his head in curls that looked natural, framing his boyish features as his round eyes sparkled with excitement. I chuckled and felt more elated knowing that Seonghwa was here, the chance of getting paired up with him was rather high as we were the top students of our year.
“Miss Song.” I flinched at the sudden intrusive voice in my head, always taken aback when I was addressed telepathically. I looked away from Seonghwa, eyes falling onto the boy—who despite being younger, was a lot taller than me—was now standing next to me with a stoic expression, ice-cold blue eyes boring into my darker ones. I chuckled and pressed a hand against my chest, always impressed by his skills despite his younger age.
“Mr. Riddle.” I greeted back with a grin, the small prodding at my forehead proof that our telepathic connection worked both ways. It was rare that Tom allowed me inside his mind, and even then, he knew how to guide me around his thoughts to show me only what he wanted me to see—a skill he learned from me, rather quickly. He had a natural talent for learning and achieving accomplishments that wizards and witches older than him struggled to garnish. He was an admirable student and a force to reckon with, I was never too eager when he challenged me to a friendly duel under the pretext of gaining experience by dueling a student who was as outstanding as himself—in reality, he only wished to show off and torment me in the confines of the Room of Requirements when the two of us would head over to study.
“Now, children,” Professor Merrythought clapped her hands together as she walked between the parting crowd of students, everyone watching her curiously, “as you may know, Headmaster Dippet had granted us another dueling session, and I am beyond excited to teach you new tricks that may as well save your lives in the future. The rules are the same as always, no serious spells aimed to harm, and no maiming, Madam Gorsemoor has far more important tasks than to heal some children who didn’t take the rules seriously, yes?”
Everyone muttered a ‘yes’ at once, and Professor Merrythought had a pleased grin on her lips as she pulled her wide shoulders back, her golden eyes surveying the crowd, probably counting how many of us were here. Usually, no more than twenty students were allowed inside the classroom as Professor Merrythought wished to watch and help everyone, not just those few she noticed lacking in their skill, “Can someone tell me what we’ve learned in our last class?”
Several hands shoot up high in the air, mine included, and I felt compelled to look over to the Ravenclaws, not surprised at all to see Seonghwa’s arm high up in the air, shoulders pulled back to make him look taller. I stifled a chuckle and faced the front of the classroom again, feeling Tom’s questioning gaze on the back of my head, but I paid him no mind.
“Mr. Lovegood, perhaps?” Professor Merrythought pointed at the platinum blonde-haired wizard from Ravenclaw, who stood on his tiptoes, about to bounce up and down to gain the professor’s attention.
“Diffindo!” He exclaimed, cheeks flushing instantly as the students from his house snickered, the Slytherins remaining uninterested, “I mean, Diffindo and Relashio.”
“Very well, Mr. Lovegood, thank you.” Professor Merrythought hummed, eyes narrowing as she looked over the crowd once again, her eyes stopping on me as I offered her a small smile.
“I must remind you that Diffindo is a spell that brings great harm if not death to your opponent, and inside this classroom, we shall not use it against each other. And even outside of it, I advise you use it wisely and level-headed only if the occurrence calls for it—”
“Like—if it were for Grindelwald to attack us?!” A younger boy—from Ravenclaw—asked, heads turning in his direction as he yet had to grow a few inches.
“Yes, that’s the likely scenario I had in mind.” Professor Merrythought muttered pleased, nodding at the curious boy with big round eyes. He reminded me of Seonghwa when we had just started our journey at Hogwarts, always eager to learn more and curious about how everything around him worked. Since then, his nature remained but he learned how to control it, how to make it less obvious how big of a nerd he actually was. Some would say he tries to impersonate the ‘cool guy’ archetype, but I know him too well to believe those silly ‘rumors’, “Well, before we learn something new, I’d like to see a duel from our best duellists.”
I gulped, feeling eyes bore into the side of my head as I looked over to Seonghwa again, finding his eyes on me already once again. He was smirking, round eyes fierce as we both knew who Professor Merrythought would call to the front for a demonstration, “Miss Song, Mr. Park, would you grace us with your presence?”
I heard Tom chuckle behind me, unamused, no doubt having known we’d be the chosen ones for this task. It was rarely not us, even Seonghwa and I knew it. I patted down the front of my robe, dusting it off, then squared my shoulders as I made my way through the crowd, getting a few pats on the back from people who I was familiar with. I had grabbed my wand out of my pocket, and Seonghwa and I made it to the front of the class at the same time. His smirk had turned cheeky as he held his wand in his hands elegantly, twirling it playfully as I took a few steps backward and then adjusted my stance.
“Miss Song.” Seonghwa’s voice was deep, tone almost seductive, and I couldn’t help but grin and narrow my eyes at him.
“Mr. Park.” My tone was confident and full of assurance because I knew I would win this duel. I usually did. Seonghwa was very good at dueling, but I was better since I was faster and more agile. I was also a little more talented at wandless magic than he was, I found it amusing whenever he’d exercise next to me, growing frustrated with himself way too quickly. Professor Merrythought clapped her hands and stepped back as Seonghwa and I bowed to each other, wands gripped firmly in our hands as we took our stance for the duel. I zeroed in on Seonghwa only, focusing on the movements of his body, eyes boring into his as if I would read his mind—I could, but I knew he hated it, and what I hated more was when I made him hurt. Seonghwa stood alert, his dark eyes boring into mine, a curious glint in them, laced with mischief and anticipation as he was patiently waiting for me to make my first move. He usually wasn’t the one to attack first, and we both knew that. We’ve dueled each other many times already, we knew each other’s tricks and weakest points.
“Stupefy!” I exclaimed, throwing my hand out, my wand pulsing with power as a light blue zap quickly shot towards Seonghwa, who expertly threw up his defense wall, nulling my attack with a pleased expression. I chuckled under my breath and raised an eyebrow as I threw my next attack at him, “Flipendo!”
Seonghwa huffed as another jinx was thrown his way, raising his arm high as he cast another shield in front of his body, eyes narrowing as he realized I was trying to get him to fly to the other side of the classroom. I knew he was wary of injuring himself, and unless I teased him a little bit at the beginning of our duel, I knew he would try to go easy on me. But I didn’t want easy and friendly, I wanted him to have no mercy and fight as if we were in a real fight, against each other, with only one winner standing tall in the end.
“Stupefy!” Seonghwa exclaimed, the same light blue zap flying towards me, making me easily block his attack as I threw my arms up, casting an invisible shield. Unlike Seonghwa’s, mine remained blue and violet ripples the tell-tale sign that there was something in front of me. Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, calculating his next move as I sent a hot air charm his way, which he dodged skilfully, his black hair falling into his eyes. Seonghwa chuckled and twirled the strands behind his ear, graciously raising his hand, not even looking my way as suddenly electric blue flames came barrelling towards my shield, making the students in the classroom gasp in surprise, but also fear. Someone had started clapping hard, and I knew it was Professor Merrythought as she enjoyed the show the most out of everyone.
Seonghwa was smart, and so, he knew the blue flames would demolish my shield without hurting me, and I could hear Professor Merrythought explain just this to the students who watched us with even more excitement in their eyes. Deciding to not verbalize my next spell, I winked at Seonghwa as I made the hand movement that was required for the Waddiwasi spell, Seonghwa realized a moment too late as, suddenly, crumbled up parchments floated around me for a second, before propelling towards Seonghwa with force and speed that left him defenseless. Seonghwa gasped as he turned sideways, the little balls of parchment crashing against the side of his body without causing any damage—physical because his ego was probably bruised—and the students started laughing as Seonghwa hissed, facing me once again with piercing eyes. I grinned and curtsied teasingly, enjoying the way his cheeks had flushed from embarrassment, his grip tightening around his black wand. His lips didn’t move, but his hand did, and I narrowed my eyes as for a second nothing happened, and then I felt invisible ropes binding around my body, trying to immobilize me as my eyes widened in surprise.
“Emancipare!” I yelped the counterattack of Brachiabindo, the defensive spell Seonghwa had used, and felt the ropes instantly disappear from my body. Seonghwa huffed, running his fingers through his rich curls, looking frustrated as he walked a few steps closer. It wasn’t like him to lose his wits when we were dueling, and so, this was the first sign that told me something was bothering him as he couldn’t completely focus on the task at hand. But this was an exercise, a duel in which we had to demonstrate to the other students, so I pushed my worries aside and cast my next spell, “Fulgari!”
Much like Seonghwa’s spell, it was another one that bid your arms together, however, the ropes weren’t invisible anymore but red and thick, painful, as the charm tied your wrists together tightly. But Seonghwa knew how to counterattack it, and the ropes dropped midair as a white light was cast from his wand. Knowing that we didn’t have much time anymore and that Professor Merrythought was waiting for one of us to disarm the other, I acted quickly, “Expelliarmus!”
However, Seonghwa’s simultaneous attack was silent as it shot from his wand, and our spells clashed in the middle, exploding with a loud boom after they’d tangled up for a few seconds. I gasped as the force pushed me backward, almost making me stumble to the floor. The hem of my robe had caught in the heel of my boots, and as I tried to manage the issue, I felt my mind being prodded at. Not even having to concentrate on the action, my mind instantly blocked the intruder out, my mind’s barriers strong and stubborn, no matter how insistent the intruder became. I knew who it was, in this classroom only Tom Riddle was so talented enough to use Legilimens wandless and non-verbally, but he was least of my worries as Seonghwa’s glare was deep, mouth moving before I could register his words, “Relashio!”
I gasped as my wand was snapped out of my hand, clattering to the floor, making the students roar with claps and cheers, Professor Merrythought not even trying to calm them down as she walked towards Seonghwa and me. I gulped, feeling my cheeks tinge pink at the amateur mistake I had made, the fact even more embarrassing as I was disarmed by such a pathetic spell. But this is what a duel encompassed, and I took a deep breath and released it slowly as I felt Professor Merrythought’s hand on my shoulder, pulling me next to her as she had grabbed onto Seonghwa as well.
“Brilliant!” She exclaimed lips pulled into a huge grin, “Simply brilliant, my students! You will make such fine Aurors, the department will be blessed upon your arrival!”
I muttered a quiet thank you and bowed my head abashed, missing the cold look that crossed Seonghwa’s face upon hearing our professor’s words. Then, when the class had finally settled down, Seonghwa and I were ushered back to our previous spots, Professor Merrythought taking the lead as she started explaining the new spell we’d be learning today. I felt the uncomfortable prodding once again, and a little frustrated, I turned around and snapped at Tom without considering my actions first, “Stop it, Riddle!”
My exclamation thankfully wasn’t too loud, but it made a few heads turn our way. I gulped and averted my eyes flustered as Tom grinned, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “My apologies, but I failed to gain your attention any other way.”
“I am trying to pay attention to the new spell, Riddle,” I muttered as I faced the front of the classroom again, feeling the younger boy step closer as he loomed over my shoulders.
“But you already know it,” He muttered, voice devoid of any emotion and I just sighed, nodding and confirming his claim, “Well, then, let me offer you some friendly advice.”
“The Tom Riddle offering me some friendly advice?” I teased, looking over my shoulder with a chuckle, “So you finally admit that we’re friends?”
“Well,” Tom cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable, “if you think of us as friends, we shall be that, Y/N.”
Tom hadn’t been keen on addressing each other casually in public, but he’s been calling me by my name rather often lately, “And your advice is?”
“Ah, yes,” He cleared his throat again, leaning just a little bit closer to whisper in my ear, “use more non-verbal spells next time and maybe even wandless magic too, Park seems to struggle to defend those. And, try not to lose focus so easily, getting disarmed by Relashio out of all spells is rather embarrassing, Miss Song.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest, watching Professor Merrythought’s wand as she drew the movement of the spell slowly for us to see, “Thank you for pointing out that Relashio isn’t even a disarming spell.”
It was rare to see any sort of positive reaction from Tom, but he snickered as I felt him take a step back to offer me more space as he was done with the conversation, “Meet me later in the Room of Requirements?”
But apparently, he wasn’t done with the telepathic conversation, “Yes, at the agreed-upon time, I won’t be late this time.”
“You better not be.” Tom’s voice sounded unimpressed in my mind and I rolled my eyes, hoping nobody saw it, “And tell your boyfriend to stop staring daggers at my head, I could disarm and harm him in just a few seconds—”
“Thank you, Tom, that’s enough.” I snapped, never too keen when he tried to bash Seonghwa and his skills—or lack of them as Tom had so often remarked, “And get out of my head, now.”
His chuckle was cut short as I raised the barrier once again, forcing Tom out of my mind. I knew it would be painful to him and I didn’t mind as lately he’s been trying to prod at my mind way too often. But being a born Occlumens came with its perks, no matter how much Tom tried to peek inside my head, he’d only be allowed inside as long as I let him. Having realized that he had some control issues, I didn’t let him know about that little piece of information, for my own peace of mind, really. Feeling like somebody was drilling holes into the side of my head, I looked over to the Ravenclaws, a little taken aback by the dark look in Seonghwa’s eyes and the sneer on his lips. He looked irritated, and as we made eye contact his expression hardened for a second before he looked away, ignoring me for the rest of the class. I had only sighed, paying attention to Professor Merrythought for the rest of the class.
Once class was over everyone pilled outside quickly, eager for the short break before our next class would start. Wanting to speak to Seonghwa in private, I stayed back with the hopes that he’d do the same, but when Professor Merrythought noticed me and asked if I had wanted to speak to her, I realized it was just her, myself, and Lovegood in the classroom. I bid her farewell and then scurried outside, sighing long as I felt disappointed that Seonghwa had left without me even noticing it. He was mad at me, that was now certain, and we wouldn’t have the possibility to meet until dinner or our Prefect duties as this was the last class we shared today. I held the strap of my satchel bag tightly as I gnawed on my bottom lip, wondering whether I could use an excuse and search for him between my classes, when suddenly a classroom door was thrown open and I was harshly yanked to the left by my arm. I gasped as I stumbled, failing to keep up with the aggressive tugging, my back hitting a wall rather painfully as my heart had started racing, eyes widening as I felt warm lips pressing against mine. It took me a second to register what was happening.
I was face to face with Seonghwa, who had me pinned between himself and the wall, holding the side of my neck firmly with his right hand as his left one gripped my hip, fingers digging into the fabric of my uniform. His eyes were open and glaring at me despite his heated kiss, and it only made me flush more as I felt his tongue force itself between my lips while his fingers sneaked up towards my jaw, tilting my head up as he had to lean down, just slightly, due to our height difference. My heart hammered against my ribcage as the satchel bag fell from my shoulder, landing with a loud thud as I gripped his robe’s collar, the fabric a lot softer than mine. Seonghwa’s tongue lapped at mine fiercely, stealing my breath away as I felt his hand slip from my hip, trace the inside of my thigh as it slowly slipped underneath my knee-length skirt. I gasped and gently pushed him back, breathing hard as his right hand held my nape, fingernails pressing into my frail skin, “Seonghwa—”
“Did you have fun flirting with Riddle right in front of me?” His tone was harsh, voice raspier than usual, and I gulped, his hand slipping higher up underneath my skirt.
“Seonghwa, I wasn’t flirting with him.” My voice trembled as he leaned closer again, lips tracing the skin of my neck, feather-like, making goosebumps erupt all over my skin. My hands released the collar of his robe as they slipped higher up, circling his neck as my fingers got tangled in the wavy strands of his hair, “I’ve told you so many times that I’m not interested in him—”
“Well, you certainly don’t act like it.” I gasped as his sharp teeth sunk into the skin of my neck, making my stomach coil as his other hand stopped at my groin, caressing my flesh through my stockings, “I’m sick of seeing him prance around you like a lost puppy, my love.”
“He’s just a boy.” My eyebrows furrowed as Seonghwa’s head snapped up, a sneer on his face.
“Just a boy?” He scoffed and leaned incredibly close, lips brushing against mine as he spoke, “He’s barely one year younger than us, Y/N.”
Sighing loudly, I pressed a chaste kiss against his lips, seeing his eyes shake for a second, his anger dissipating slightly, “Yet I only see the little boy I guided to the Slytherin common room in his first year in him, my love, he’s nothing but like a brother to me.”
“He has no boundaries.” Seonghwa huffed, jaw clenching and unclenching as I kissed his cheek, right side and then left side, then pulled him slightly lower to kiss his forehead too. Seonghwa’s grip visibly softened, his finger rubbing circles into my hipbone under my skirt.
“I know how to put him in his place if he ever goes too far, which he has never done before.” I muttered reassuringly as I ran my fingers through his hair gently, knowing that he loved the ministration, “Abraxas is touchier than Tom will ever be, yet you make no scene when he’s with me.”
Seonghwa scoffed, gripping my chin as he tilted my head up again, “Because it’s clear he’s not interested in courting you, he’s touchy with everyone.”
I chuckled as I coaxed his lips towards mine, my eyes fluttering closed as Seonghwa’s lips gently, but firmly, pressed against mine, our lips playing a gentle dance as they moved at a calmer pace, following the other’s rhythm as I let Seonghwa take the lead, our lips slotting perfectly against each other. His breath hit my face as he nipped at my bottom lip, enjoying the way my lips chased after his again, capturing his bottom lip between mine as I felt his hand very slowly slip towards my crotch. I keened, pushing him back by the shoulders when he had started rubbing circles against my clothed core, “I need to get to the greenhouse, Hwa, we can’t do this now.”
“You can skip Herbology,” Seonghwa whispered as his lips brushed against my ear, I bit my bottom lip, eyes fluttering closed, “it’s not that important.”
Before I could succumb to the feeling of Seonghwa’s fingers teasing me, I gripped his wrist and pushed his hand away, blinking my eyes open, “I’m not going to skip classes because you want to have sex, Seonghwa. You can wait until tonight.”
“Yeah?” He grinned, round eyes glinting dangerously, “I can?”
“Unless you want to throw another jealous fit over the fact that I’ll be studying with Tom later on.” I mused and pursed my lips as Seonghwa’s expression hardened again. He was so easy to irk, his face hid nothing as I cocked an eyebrow in challenge at him.
“Right,” He muttered, clearing his throat, “You’ll be busy with Riddle this afternoon—”
“I’ll be busy perfecting my Legilimency, yes.” I raised my eyebrows at Seonghwa as he hummed and stepped back, detaching himself fully from me. I licked at my lips and ran my hands through my hair, trying to get rid of any knots that may have formed.
“Find me after you’re done patrolling, then,” Seonghwa adjusted his tie and then patted down his robe, “I won’t be coming to dinner tonight.”
“Something wrong?” I asked with furrowing eyebrows as I leaned down to pick up my satchel bag.
“No, I just need to catch up on some assignments, is all.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I didn’t say anything as he caressed my cheek with his warm hand, “I love you.”
I smiled widely, turning my head lightly to press a kiss against his wrist, “I love you too, Hwa.”
Despite the sun trying to shine some light on the dire streets of London, the ever-grey clouds were everlasting, casting a gloomy shadow over the streets and the people that ventured outside. Lately, it seemed to be safer to go out and enjoy the much-needed social interactions, but people were still wary of the imminent threat posing over their heads. You just never knew when the enemy would strike, making you look over your shoulder at any given moment. London wasn’t anymore what it used to be, but reconstructions have started and there seemed to be light at the end of the permeating dark tunnel.
My coffee’s steam reached my nose as I forgot of its existence, my eyes having fallen on two children who had their palms out and were timidly asking for money from the passerby people. My heart broke at the sight of such innocent lives having to suffer so much, unwanted scenarios clouding my mind. They could’ve lost their parents, or maybe they still had them, but the war made them homeless and this is was the best they could do. I hated how most people didn’t even cast a glance at the obviously suffering children, their clothes strewn in places, cheeks dirty with dust. They clung to each other, the boy taller by a head as he clutched the younger girl to his side, pulling her back when a postman paid them no mind as he barrelled down with his bicycle on the pavement. But before my anger could get the best of me, the bell to the small coffee shop chimed, and I looked over, heart settling at the familiarity of the man that was approaching my table. He wasn’t a coffee lover, not when we were mere teenagers, so I had ordered tea instead for him.
“Mr. Kim.” I smiled as I abandoned my cup and pushed my chair back, fighting the wide smile that tried to make it onto my lips. Kim Hongjoong and I haven’t been close during our days at Hogwarts, but due to a person that was present in both of our lives, we had the chance to share some fond memories. Hongjoong had always been a free spirit, unafraid to break rules here and there, trying to break free of the chains society placed on all of us. Even now, his hair was brushed back in an uncharacteristic way, the black ends tinged almost blonde. His clothes didn’t match in colour, his pants burgundy and his shirt a rather atrocious colour of yellow, the grey sweater thrown over it saving the outfit somewhat. His green coat was dark, and due to the colour of his pants, it made him look like a Christmas tree.
“Dear,” Hongjoong chuckled, his hug warm and comforting, arms circling my middle tightly, “are we back to being formal with each other now? Has it been that long since we left Hogwarts?”
I chuckled, arms tightening around him subconsciously as my chin pressed against his shoulder, eyes glazing over with sudden tears that took me off guard. I have missed the faces I have become familiar with at Hogwarts, the place where I was still innocent and in love with life, with the prospect of a bright future. A future that was now my present, neither bright nor innocent. I have never had many friends, keen on keeping to myself, and the life of an Auror made it hard to keep up with others. It was better for them; my field of work had no guarantee of me returning alive. And knowing that two of the people I considered my family, Mingi and Yunho, were first in line in harm’s way, made me prolong my hug with Hongjoong. It felt nice to be in a warm embrace for once.
“Four years and three months, more specifically.” I whispered as I reluctantly let go of Hongjoong, who gripped my bicep and gave it a reassuring squeeze before we both claimed our seats at the small round table.
“So, you’ve been counting,” Hongjoong muttered, looking down at his steaming hot tea, “as have I.”
I hummed, feeling a certain sad aura around Hongjoong as he carefully cradled the teacup in his hands, humming to himself as my eyes bore into the side of his head. I was curious of what was running through his mind, but entering it without his consent was a breech of privacy and the break of trust between the two of us. Picking his fragile mind apart would’ve been very easy. Finding what I was looking for would’ve taken only a few seconds and I could be on my merry way in no time, hunting down the man I was tasked to take out, but I was yearning for just a second of normalcy, for a second that could take me back to the past where I was happy, unafraid, in love.
“How is the Auror life, dear?” I smiled at the nickname, Hongjoong being the only person who’s ever addressed me so affectionately—besides my former lover, Seonghwa.
“Dangerous,” I sighed, raising my cup of coffee to take a small sip, “exhausting, and time consuming.”
“I’ve had to treat many Aurors since I’ve started working at St. Mungo’s, and each time I pray I do not come across you, dear.” Hongjoong’s expression was solemn, as if he was trying to repress memories that weren’t kind nor pleasant, “But you seem to be in great health, so I shall not worry so much anymore.”
I chuckled and placed the cup down, fingertips tracing the porcelain in order to keep my hands busy with something, “I’m rather agile, one of the best they have. But sometimes even I worry for my own safety, thank you for thinking of me so often, Hongjoongie.”
He smiled, reaching out to grab my wrist, “Sometimes I feel bad for the way things have ended between us—between the three of us, I mean.”
I gulped, the topic of Seonghwa inevitable anymore. But still, I tried to stall it for a little bit longer, trying to enjoy Hongjoong’s company for a little bit more before the real reason I was here would ruin our nostalgic reunion.
“Don’t fret on the past, Hongjoong, what’s lost is lost.” I gripped his hand with my right one, patting it gently, “How are the other nurses treating you at St. Mungo’s? I’ve heard there’s not many wizards working there.”
“The witches seem to love me,” Hongjoong chuckled, suddenly his cheeks red, “they praise me a lot and always fight on who gets to work with me. I’m treated nicely and they’ve accepted me rather quickly despite being a wizard.”
I gulped, knowing the tumultuous history of the Kim family, “And your parents?”
Hongjoong froze, eyebrows furrowing as he averted his eyes, “My mother is speaking to me again. My father…we know how he feels about me.”
“You’ve always done just fine without them,” I encouraged him, watching curiously as he grabbed my hand and flipped my palm upside down, “and if you need a friendly advice or just an evening spent drinking wine and reminiscing, you know were to find me, Hongjoongie.”
He chuckled, forefinger gingerly tracing the inside of my palm, making me shiver. It’s been long since someone had treated me so tenderly, ever since Yunho and Mingi have been sent onto their mission actually, “Have you cut yourself here?”
“Yes.” I answered surprised, “How did you know?”
“The skin is rougher here,” Hongjoong pressed his finger a little harder against where the cut was healed up, not even a trace of a scar, “Stop by St. Mungo’s when you have a little free time, I have the perfect potion to fix your skin. I’ve got quite the tricks up my sleeve now.”
As our eyes met, a beat of silence passed, then we both burst out in quiet giggles, pressing our hands against our mouths. Memories of all the failed potions made by Hongjoong resurfaced, most of those times Seonghwa or me being his test subjects. There were too few fingers on my hands to count the number of times Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and I had ended up in the Infirmary, on the brink of dying from dangerous toxins found in Hongjoong’s brews. And yet, we continued indulging in his shenanigans as he was too endearing to say ‘no’ to.
“I suppose you’ve stopped poisoning people now, right?” I raised an eyebrow, tone joking as Hongjoong bit his lower lip, cheeks flushing once again.
“No more failed experiments or potions that would send Slughorn up the wall if he were to know about them.” And once again, we started giggling behind our palms as Hongjoong seemed to finally loosen up, making me feel bad that I would soon deter the conversation to a delicate topic. But I didn’t have much time, I had to move fast if I wanted to catch Seonghwa when he least expected it.
“I suppose you meet all sorts of people at the hospital…” I trailed off as I grabbed my cup of coffee yet again and took a long sip, Hongjoong’s lips pursing as he traced the wooden design of the table.
“Yes, quite the personalities.” He mused, eyebrows raised slightly in question as I swallowed the coffee, biting my lower lip in hesitance.
“As a nurse your allegiances do not matter, you must save everyone—”
“That is correct.” Hongjoong’s tone had turned colder, his face losing its warm glow, a mask of indifference now replacing it. I sighed knowing that Hongjoong had probably caught on to where our conversation was headed now.
“I know you still keep in touch with Park Seonghwa.” I lowered my voice so nobody would hear us. Everyone knew who Grindelwald’s men were, I didn’t want to risk the chance of anyone overhearing our conversation, even if the coffee shop was only frequented by muggles. I chose this place for this specific reason, few wizards and witches ventured out into the heart of London, not keen of the life muggles lived here.
Hongjoong had frozen, jaw clenching as his cat-like eyes narrowed at me, “What does that have to do with me being a nurse at St. Mungo’s? Are you accusing me of something, Miss Song?”
I sighed, but I knew the jabbing was inevitable. Hongjoong had been very protective of Seonghwa even before our years at Hogwarts, “I am not accusing you of anything, I was just merely curious on who’s side you stand—”
“I stand on nobody’s side.” Hongjoong snapped, pushing his teacup far away from himself, glaring at it suspiciously. He must be wondering whether I had slipped Veritaserum in it, but I would never do that to him, “I stand on the side of the victims I must save, on the side of justice, and on the side that doesn’t harm but protects instead. Do you fathom there’s a side like that? One that does not harm, but only protects?”
“No.” I whispered, averting my eyes from Hongjoong’s intense gaze, visibly irritated, “We’re trying to do our best, I promise, but I cannot guarantee that innocent folk won’t be harmed in the process of stopping Grindelwald.”
“You’re just doing your job,” Hongjoong’s tone softened, “and so am I, and so is Seonghwa—”
“Seonghwa is killing innocent wizards and witches for a cause that is irrational, for a cause that aims to harm muggles that aren’t at fault for being the way that they are. This isn’t a job!” Hongjoong’s eyes widened as my voice gradually raised, never the type to lose my cool. My heart had started racing and I felt anxiety creeping up my chest, through my throat, making me chew on the inside of my cheeks. I scrapped at my hand, averting my eyes as Hongjoong’s stare became too much, making me feel like he was judging me. Maybe I have misjudged his character, maybe he is on Seonghwa’s side, after all.
“Y/N,” But his voice was soft and I felt his hand grip mine, gently stopping me from scratching my skin until it was raw and red, “I know how hard it was when you found out about Seonghwa’s ambitions and beliefs, and I know you still feel guilty and think you played a part in him becoming like this. But as someone who’s known him since he was a little boy, Seonghwa’s always dreamed of doing big things, of changing our world into the better. You couldn’t have stopped him even if you had known of his plans since early on—”
“Then help me.” I felt choked up as I looked at Hongjoong swiftly, eyes shaking as I gripped his hand. His eyebrows were furrowed and he gulped as my eyes glossed over, his words ringing through my ears. He was right, I have always felt guilty for not noticing the blatant signs of Seonghwa’s true beliefs. He’s never been kind to muggles at Hogwarts, he’s always made snide remarks about them, and he’s mentioned joining a cause one day that purified our Wizarding World. I thought he was simply aspiring to join the Ministry, like many others wanted. Instead, he decided to join the cause of a man who thought wizards were superior to muggles and wished to subdue them, and force them to live in fear for the rest of their lives, “I need to talk to Seonghwa, please tell me where he is. Hongjoongie, you’ll be helping a greater cause than yourself and even myself. I must find him and—”
“You’re an Auror, Y/N.” He cut me off sharply, yanking his hand out of my grip as he shook his head feverishly, “If you find him, then what? Will you interrogate him and lock him up in Azkaban for a few months until he gives in and admits to his mistakes? We both know that’s the last thing Seonghwa will do if he’s ever captured. You’ll kill him—”
“I won’t—”
“You’ll kill him, and I cannot set up my best friend for his death.” He snapped angrily, cheeks red as his eyes were tear-filled, “I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that you sought me out for such a feat. You should be ashamed of yourself, Miss Song, for even thinking that I would help you out with such an atrocious thing. I love Seonghwa more than anyone, you have deeply wounded me, Miss Song, I have expected more of you.”
“Hongjoong—” Heart breaking as he swiftly stood and left with a last piercing look, I slumped back in my chair and tried not to let the sob break through my lips, cheeks damp from the tears that fell down them. Yes, I have been a fool for seeking out Hongjoong, I knew he’d never give away Seonghwa’s location, but he was my first and last option in trying to find Seonghwa in a way that I could negotiate with him, try to deter him from his cause, save him from a harsh sentence. And I have failed, and now I’ll have to kill the man that I have never stopped loving.
Having lost my appetite for anything, I stood hastily and wore my dark coat, pulling on my gloves to protect my hands from the freezing air. I gathered my purse and clutched it tightly in my hands, storming out of the coffee shop as I felt around for my bonnet inside the purse. The heart of the city was buzzing with people as the hour was nearing noon, the loudness of it all irritating my ears as I tried to walk between the people to the closest Portkey leading to the Wizarding World. But just as I was about to cross the road, I felt a hesitant tug on my coat. Alarmed and ready to defend myself, I whirled around and searched for whoever had touched me, only to find the siblings looking up at me with pleading eyes. Tapping the tears off my cheeks quickly, I opened my purse and crouched down as I fetched the pastries I have bought earlier for breakfast.
“Have this,” I handed them to the little girl, who had a runny nose and whispered a ‘thank you’. I pushed around in search for the little muggle money I still had, and once I found it, I gave it to the boy who looked beyond grateful and even bowed his head in gratitude. Feeling helpless that I couldn’t do more for them, I grabbed the bonnet that I knew I wouldn’t wear again, and placed it onto the little girl’s head. It was big and it fell in her eyes, but she grinned as her brother tried to adjust it for her, making my heart swell, “Take care of each other.”
The two nodded with eyes glistening, and I gulped down the lump that’s formed in my throat and stood tall once again, hurrying away before I felt the overbearing need to break down in the middle of a muggle filled street. I would finish this mission even if I lost my life in the process of it, it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter because innocent children and innocent common folk were the one suffering the consequences of these tyrants that ruled over our worlds.
20th of December, 1943
Slughorn’s Christmas parties were catalogued somewhat legendary and, thus, have always been talked about in the hallways of Hogwarts. Those who were invited mentioned it in excited exclamations and those who weren’t in whispers with envious tones. I had been part of the lucky few who got invited, being part of Slughorn’s Slug Club for a good two years now, and I couldn’t have been happier. These parties were perfect for mingling with socialites and people of importance in the Ministry and other fields that piqued your interest. I had been lucky enough to meet a few well-known Aurors tonight, but my utmost luck struck when, despite his drunken state, Professor Slughorn pulled me aside to introduce me Theseus Scamander, the Head of the Auror Office. The professor had rambled on about my abilities and how talented and knowledgeable I was in the Dark Arts, painting me as a very talented duellist to Mr. Scamander. He had been eager to listen to his former professor, giving me knowing glances and a dashing smile. I couldn’t help but blush a little, the Fire Whiskey I had—secretly—drunk with Abraxas getting the best of me. Unable to hide his amused smile anymore, Theseus had excused us with the pretext that we’d head over to the delicious candy bar and serve ourselves with chocolate frogs, to which our professor couldn’t object as, he, himself loved it.
“He’s quite the talker, isn’t he?” Theseus laughed as he gently guided me through the crowd of students and outsiders, his hand holding my gloved elbow. My dress was modest, adorning the emerald green of my house that I wore proudly. The neckline was a sweetheart design, sleeveless, and the upper part of the dress was moulded tightly against my body, a silvery fabric creating the illusion of a belt around my waist. From the waist, it flowed down to my ankles in a simple A-line, highlighting my long legs. I had a thin, sheer, shawl around my shoulders—but I have abandoned that at the dinner table as it had started annoying me—and instead wore my silvery satin gloves that reached just above my elbows.
“He certainly let’s go of himself when alcohol is involved.” I said quietly, earning a chuckle from Theseus as we reached the candy bar. It was hard to choose just one delicacy as the table was littered with at least fifteen types of desserts, and I watched as Theseus grabbed a plate rather eagerly.
“I couldn’t wait for the annual Christmas party back when I was a student here,” Theseus said as he started placing different delicacies on his plate, “the dessert was the best part of the night—apart from the Fire Whiskey.”
He glanced at me briefly and winked cheekily, making me chuckle as I averted my eyes with a shy blush on my cheeks. He chose a rose shaped tart that was filled with marzipan, and it reminded me of Seonghwa as it was his favourite dessert. Wondering where he was—since he had disappeared around half an hour ago—I searched the crowd while Theseus was busy filling his plate.
“Is it you who wants to be an Auror, or are your professors pushing you towards this job?” Theseus’ question earned my attention as I looked back at him, unsuccessful in my mission of finding Seonghwa.
“It is me.” I answered with a smile, fiddling with my fingers nervously, “I hate injustice, and I hate seeing our world get torn apart as Grindelwald is trying to ruin us. I want to help in stopping him, I want to be a figure that others can entrust their lives to. I want to protect the innocent, and I am not scared to sacrifice myself for others. And when he’ll finally be stopped, I will continue dedicating my life to help the right cause.”
Theseus hummed, his eyes softening as they quickly took in my form, a pleased look crossing his features, “You sound quite determined, and you look tough too. I have spoken to Professor Merrythought about any student she deemed fit for the role of an Auror, and I am positive she talked about you for almost an hour, Miss Song.”
I gulped, feeling warmth spread through my chest in happiness that I had been praised so extensively by my professor to a very important and prominent person in the Ministry, “I’ve still got two years until I graduate, but I hope to join you as soon as possible.”
“I cannot wait for that day to come, Miss Song.” Theseus grinned, grabbing the rose dessert, “I can already tell you’ll be great; you sort of remind me of myself, actually.”
“I do?” I asked with a surprised tone, feeling my smile get even bigger.
“Indeed.” Theseus hummed and then took a bite of the rose as I tried to contain my glee, my mouth hurting from smiling so widely. Suddenly, there was a presence next to me, and I felt a hand gently grip my shoulder, the hold familiar but rather cold. I turned my head and was met with Tom’s piercing-blue cold eyes looking down at me impassively.
“Mr. Scamander.” He greeted the Auror with a tight smile on his lips.
“Mr. Riddle.” Theseus was in the middle of chewing his dessert, but he quickly forced it down his throat and shook Tom’s hand.
“Do you mind if I steal Miss Song for a dance?” Tom’s voice was suddenly light, dripping with sweetness as his face morphed into a warm smile, “Have I interrupted an important conversation?”
“I have said what I wanted to Miss Song, if she wishes so, you can steal her for a dance.” Theseus winked, our gazes meeting as suddenly his thoughts flooded my mind. For a powerful Auror like him, it took me off guard to find his mind so defenceless. Perhaps he didn’t see a reason to guard his thoughts in the confines of Hogwarts, and before I could correct him that there was nothing between Tom and myself—as Theseus’ thoughts claimed—I was already whirled around and guided towards the crowded dance floor. The orchestra played a nice tune, slow but not to the point all you could do was step left and right. Tom placed his hand on the middle of my back as he held my hand in his other one, a respectable distance between our bodies as he started leading.
“Any reason you wanted to dance with me?” I asked with narrowed eyes, knowing for a fact that Tom never danced. He hated dancing or standing as close to somebody as we were stood right now.
“Hmm,” He hummed, his tone low and his voice pleasant to the ears as he spoke up again, “you looked like you needed a little saving.”
“Speaking to Mr. Scamander was pleasant,” I shrugged, holding onto Tom’s shoulder tighter as we narrowly avoided a drunken couple, “You could’ve tried to save me when I was talking to Professor Slughorn and the spouses that work at St. Mungo’s, instead. They are weird.”
“They are peculiar people, indeed.” Tom muttered, eyes falling on my face, “But they are incredibly smart and good assets to a team.”
“What team?” I asked confused, eyebrows furrowing. Tom was leading us out of the crowded dance floor, thankfully, more towards the side where we’d have more space and wouldn’t have to avoid every second drunken couple. A platinum blonde hair popped up in the crowd not far from us, and I stifled a laugh as Abraxas tried not to topple over as he was led towards the exit by his date.
“Well,” Tom started, eyebrows lightly furrowing as he mused over his words, like he didn’t know how to formulate his next words. That was unexpected from Tom as he was a good speaker, and an intelligent person, “let’s put it this way. You build an army of people that are magically gifted, but smart too, and you lead them to victory.”
“Why would you need this army?” I asked as I grew even more confused, “Are you talking about Grindelwald?”
“We can take him as an example, yes.” Tom chuckled, a smirk pulling at his lips as our eyes bore into each other’s, making me wonder for a split second if he was hiding something from me, “The people he has on his side aren’t just strong and powerful wizards and witches who excel at magic, they are also intelligent and strategize with him, leading him towards victory—”
“You think Grindelwald will prosper in this war?” I asked, feeling myself irked at such vile thoughts. Grindelwald wouldn’t win, I would become an Auror just to make sure of it.
“No, of course not.” Tom whispered, an easy smile adorning his lips and I felt his fingers gently rub against my knuckles. I sighed and looked away, surveying the crowd in hopes that I would finally find my lover. I missed him, I wanted to be by his side and dance with him, “Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Of course.” I chuckled, but my eyes were still searching the crowd as Tom cleared his throat, turning us around so that I was facing the exit now. My eyes stopped on the familiar form of my lover, and my eyebrows furrowed in wonder as I realized Seonghwa was speaking to Rabastan Lestrange and his parents, “Are you?”
“I hate these events, actually, even the Slug Club, but if I wish to remain in the graces of our daft professor, I must—”
“I am really sorry for cutting you off like this, Tom.” I released my hold on Tom and took a step back, eyes hastily falling back on the Slytherin boy, “But I’ve finally found my lover, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Right,” Tom’s expression faltered, then returned to being cold as he nodded towards Seonghwa, “I’ll see you around. But, Y/N, did you know Park and Lestrange have been acquittances for quite a while now?”
My eyebrows furrowed as I bit my lower lip, wondering if Seonghwa had ever mention Lestrange to me, “Of course, there are no secrets between Seonghwa and I.”
I felt the slight prodding at my mind, but Tom got nowhere near my thoughts as I have carefully guarded them all night. I bowed my head slightly before I walked away from the dance floor, nearing my lover and the Lestrange family with a soft smile on my lips. Rabastan was the first one to notice me, and he loudly cleared his throat, eyes jumping between Seonghwa and my approaching form. Seonghwa stiffened and I tried to mask my confusion as I stood next to my lover, “Good evening.”
“Good evening, Miss…?” Rabastan’s father was a gruff man, scary-looking, and rather unfriendly as his voice was harsh.
“Song, Song Y/N.” I answered and offered him my hand before I greeted his wife, who looked stoic and glared at me viciously. But I remained unphased as I continued smiling.
“Song,” She muttered, eyes narrowing as she shared a glance with her husband, “your parents are quite prominent figures in the Ministry, aren’t they?”
“Yes.” I answered, not keen of talking about my parents. It was always about them, never about me. They’ve made their own reputation already, I wanted to make one for myself.
“Y/N is just as brilliant as her parents, if not more.” Seonghwa mused with a warm tone, lips pulled into a dashing smile as I felt his arm sneak around my middle and gently pull me into his side. My muscles softened as his familiar warmth and cologne embraced my being, making me look up at him with a small grin. Rabastan’s parents exchanged a glance as their son cleared his throat again, looking rather awkward.
“And you make a pair, I assume.” Rabastan’s father quirked an eyebrow, not looking very impressed by the prospect. Before I could answer, Seonghwa hummed lowly and I felt his fingers flex against my hips in a quiet request to remain silent. I bit my bottom lip, but adhered to his request.
“Yes, Miss Song and I had been quite the academic rivals, but I suppose in our fifth year we found common ground and discovered together we are more powerful, our knowledge forever expanding.” Seonghwa’s answer made my eyebrows furrow as I turned my head to look at him with a questioning gaze, but he continued looking at the Lestranges, who seemed pleased with his answer.
“Well, yes, she is a Slytherin like our son,” Rabastan’s mother said with a chuckle that was filled with vice, “but she might take after her parents, after all.”
Fed up with the cryptic conversation, I chuckled and flashed the Rabastans an apologetic smile before I cradled Seonghwa’s cheek in my hand and turned his head to face me, “May we dance? You’ve neglected me the whole night, my love.”
“My apologies,” Seonghwa hummed and kissed my wrist as I let my hand fall from his face, the two of us looking back at the Lestranges, “It was a pleasure talking to you and meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Lestrange, I shall see you around—hopefully.”
They nodded wordlessly as Rabastan bid us farewell, and I intertwined my fingers with Seonghwa’s as I led us back to the dance floor, the crowd a little more dispersed now than it has been when I was dancing with Tom. The orchestra now had started playing slow tunes, all the dancing couples swaying gently to the music. I sighed as I felt Seonghwa’s arms slip around my hips to pull me close in, my arms circling his shoulders as our bodies flushed together, my nerves and muscles easing at the familiar press of his body against mine. Seonghwa’s round eyes had a warm glow in them, his cherry-like lips pulled into a soft smile. I chuckled and fought the muscles in my body yearning to press a kiss against his lips, and instead let my eyes travel down to the early Christmas gift I had given him earlier this morning. Seonghwa and I would be going home tomorrow, meaning that we wouldn’t spend the holidays together like last year, when Hongjoong, his best friend, decided to stay at Hogwarts due to his horrible parents and Seonghwa and I decided to stay too, to keep him company. It was one of the best Christmases I have ever had.
My gift was something small, a thin silver chain necklace with a small star pendant hanging on it, representing the way I viewed Seonghwa. He was bright and beautiful, always glimmering in the darkness and guiding me through my hardships, helping me sparkle as bright as him. He was an inspiration and so easily lovable that sometimes I felt like I fell for him over and over again each day.
“I had no idea you knew Rabastan Lestrange?” I raised an eyebrow as Seonghwa sighed, our moves smooth as he twirled us around.
“Barely.” He muttered, dipping his head low, his breath fanning my face, “Did Professor Slughorn introduce you to Theseus Scamander? I saw you talking to him.”
“He did!” I beamed, Seonghwa’s eyes creasing as he smiled back at me, “I am so happy I met him tonight, he said he cannot wait for me to join the Auror’s Office.”
“Is that so?” Seonghwa hummed, making my eyebrows furrow in confusion. He didn’t look too eager, but he chuckled upon seeing my reaction, it didn’t sound amused, “With how eager Riddle was to whisk you away for a dance, I figured you couldn’t talk much to Mr. Scamander.”
“Seonghwa,” I sighed, interlacing my fingers around his neck as I tilted my head back, “can we not do this here? Can we just not talk about Tom for one second?”
“How can I not talk about Riddle when he’s openly trying to court my partner—”
“Seonghwa.” I snapped quietly as I didn’t want anyone to overhear our useless argument, “Tom hates every female that breaths around him withing a meter radius, can you please for the love of Merlin stop this nonsense?!”
“I cannot.” He hissed, eyes narrowing as our steps faltered, “You fail to see the issue at hand, Y/N, he hates every female but you. And I cannot stand that—”
“Why are you so jealous when I have never given you a reason to be?” I cut him off, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance.
“Because you’re mine and I cannot fathom losing you, I just—”
“Park Seonghwa.” I sighed, cupping his cheeks as I shook my head at him, “You are the love of my life, I have never loved anyone before you and I will never love anyone else but you. I don’t want anyone else that isn’t you, and I will never do. You are my star and the reason I live for, and I trust you with my whole being and have given all of myself to you. Sometimes—I just wish you trusted me as much as I trust you. When you act like this, you make me feel guilty and bad, like I don’t deserve your love and you.”
Seonghwa’s bottom lip was between his teeth and he released a long sigh as his hands sneaked back to grip my hips, “Only Merlin know how much I love you, Y/N, how much faith I have in you, and just how much I trust you. It’s this irrational fear that I will lose you if I make a wrong move that makes me act like this. I don’t even care about Riddle—or anyone else—if I have one fear, it’s that of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I might be your star, but a star cannot shine without darkness. I need you, promise me you’ll stay by my side no matter what.”
“I promise to forever stay by your side, Hwa.”
Hongjoong was a good friend to Seonghwa, righteous, and ferociously protective. But even Hongjoong could tell apart right from wrong, unlike Seonghwa. And when I had gotten home after meeting him at the coffee shop, in the haste of searching for my yellow bottle of pills as my hands had started trembling once again, I found a small rolled up paper nestled between the white tablets. Eager to swallow the sedatives, I held the paper carefully, and after downing two tablets, I unrolled the paper, eyebrows furrowing when I realized it was an address to a fancy place in high-end London, where socialites mingled to their hearts wishes—both muggles, wizards, and witches alike. Hongjoong would never help me in taking down his best friend, but he also knew I was offering his best friend the easy way out this time. I would let him flee if he promises to never show himself around Grindelwald—I would do that because it’s Seonghwa. Because I cannot imagine a life without him even if he’s not by my side, just the thought of knowing he’s out there breathing and living keeps me going.
The casino Hongjoong had given me the address of was fancy and elite, only those who had an invite could enter. But I had connections, getting in was the easiest part. And perhaps, feeling nostalgic after having seen Hongjoong, I yearned to see more familiar faces that reminded me of my innocent childhood, familiar faces that could help me forget that I haven’t heard from Mingi and Yunho in a week. They were alive, that much we knew, but we had no idea if they had been discovered or injured, or if they have gone low-key in order to have even fewer chances of compromising their mission. Nonetheless, when I sent an owl to an old-time friend, I did not expect to receive an answer this eager, at least not from this particular person. Having taken my time to tidy up and make myself presentable, I slipped my bottle of pills inside my purse, knowing that there were great chances I would be seeing Seonghwa tonight—that was the whole point of me going to the casino. I was restless all day long and I had probably already taken too many of them, but the tremors of my hands never once stopped, and I could feel my heart race all day long. It was unsettling, but I knew there was nothing more I could do about it but slip the bottle in my purse and pray to Merlin for a successful mission. If I managed to get Seonghwa on my side tonight, much would change—the war would change.
There was a light smog in the air of London as I neared the casino, the evening breeze pleasant for once as the cobblestones were slippery from the previous rain. There was a light drizzle in the air still, but the invisible shield I had casted around myself to protect me from it was doing its job fairly well to keep me dry. My fur coat kept me warm as the nature of my dress was more daring tonight, attention grabbing on purpose. As I neared the entrance of the casino, lit up brightly and bustling with ladies and gentlemen that had bright smiles on their faces, I noticed a tall figure looming to the side in the darker corner of the street. Heartbeat halting, I hurried my steps as I clutched the invitation tighter in my hands, eager to see the man’s face from up-close. It’s been a few years since we’ve seen each other, I didn’t think he’d actually join me tonight. I knew he had his own ambitions, what those were exactly, I couldn’t tell. He’s always been secretive, but he’s made quite the reputation for himself after finishing Hogwarts. He was a young promising man, eager to chase after his desires.
“Miss Song!” His voice had gotten deeper over the years, but remained as velvety as always. My lips pulled into a smile as I was finally close enough to see his face clearly, and I was taken aback by the obvious changes the years have brought to his once youthful face. His eyes were still as bright and blue, perhaps even icier than they used to be, but his cheekbones had become hollower, skin ashier. He looked good, but he looked ghastly.
“Mr. Riddle.” I came to a stop in front of him with a big smile on my face, and was taken aback by the arms that have wrapped around me in a hug. Tom had always hated physical contact, I wondered if the passing of years had changed that, “You’ve changed. A lot.”
“Hopefully in a good way.” He chuckled as he released me, smirking dashingly at me. I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t skip a beat. I chuckled and shook my head, taking in his even taller, but lanky, form.
“I suppose yes,” I hummed, realizing that there were no traces of the young boy I have once viewed as perhaps my little brother, “You’ve grown taller, I didn’t think that was possible.”
Tom and I chuckled at the same time as he reached out again, squeezing my lower arm, “And you look stronger than ever.”
I hummed and tried to hide the way my tremors only worsened at his words, wanting to tell him that I was on the brink of falling apart every day. I wasn’t strong, I was far from being strong, I just refused to give in to the darkness until I have fulfilled my purpose, then I could finally let go. Give in to whatever madness threatened to pull my thoughts to an everlasting field of blackness, the stars absent from the night sky. Stars that have long abandoned me, left me alone to fend for myself, to figure things out without a guiding light.
“Let’s head inside, I’m beginning to feel cold.” I muttered as Tom hummed, offering his arm for me to take as he confidently waltzed us towards the entrance, the bouncer smiling at us pleasantly as I handed over our invitation. It seems that he already knew Tom, who, it turns out, frequents this casino rather often. The question was on the tip of my tongue, whether he sees Seonghwa here often or not, but I didn’t want to know. It was better not to know. I couldn’t start questioning Tom’s morality right now, I had to stay focused on the task at hand, which was finding Seonghwa and trying to coerce him onto my side.
The place was buzzing with all sorts of people, all seemingly eager to socialize and make lasting connections. The interior of the casino was vast and covered in red and black décor, giving it a sultry but eloquent touch. We had barely walked in when our coats and purses were taken to a garderobe for safe keeping. And before Tom could explain much about the place and the type of events that were held here, we were swarmed by quite a few wizards and witches, all very keen of talking to Tom, of holding his attention for more than five minutes. It seems like that hasn’t changed since Hogwarts.
I remained by his side and smiled, only spoke up when I was addressed to as I was too busy searching the room—the crowd—for the familiar face that I was here in the first place. I had opted to wear a long-sleeved dress as it was still cold outside, the velvet fabric feeling soft against my skin, keeping me perhaps too warm inside the parched room. The neckline of it was a deeper cut, just shy of stopping at the swell of my breasts, and I had decorated my long neck with emeralds that glinted prettily under the light. The dress was long, I had to be careful not to step on it with the heel of my high heels, and it was a poison green, tricky as under the light it glimmered green, however, otherwise it appeared black. I had pulled my hair away from my face and curled the strands, letting them fall free against my back as simple emerald earrings decorated my ears.
I was itching to hold onto something as I tried not to fidget with my hands, preferably to feel the comforting weight of the bottle of pills, but as they were hidden away in my purse, the only reassurance that I wasn’t completely defenceless lay hidden under my long dress, strapped against my shin was my wand. Over the years, I have learned to excel in wandless magic completely, but just knowing that I had my wand on me helped ease my nervous heartbeat. My eyes never stopped surveying the crowd, waiting to spot those round eyes and cherry-red lips.
“Aren’t you the Songs’ daughter, my dear?” I felt a lady gently touch my arm in order to grab my attention, and I averted my eyes from the back of a man who seemed to have a form similar to Seonghwa’s.
“I am.” I answered the older lady with a pleasant smile, trying to seem cordial despite my nerves.
“Oh, you are gorgeous.” She whispered, fingering the velvet sleeve of my dress, lips pursed, “You were a Slytherin, yes?”
“Yes.” I hummed, glancing side ways at Tom, wondering whether he could save me from this stranger, but he was busy speaking to who seemed to be the lady’s husband, “Does that matter?”
“Well, Slytherins are highly regarded in our society, we are prestige, you know?” The old lady smirked, and I gently pulled my hands behind my back, feeling uncomfortable that she wouldn’t stop touching my dress.
“I wouldn’t call ourselves prestige when most from our house turn towards the usage of the Dark Arts in inconvenient and illegal ways.” I grumbled, trying to hide my distaste as the older lady chuckled, eyes narrowing at me.
“So, you seem to share your parents’ beliefs, after all.” I heaved a long sigh, looking at the lady with a pressing glare. It was always about my parents, about sharing their beliefs. I was fed up with hearing that over and over again. What did people expect of me? To follow the ‘path’ of other Slytherins and join dark causes? Why did everyone have prejudices of us? And most of all, why did everyone assume all Slytherins were evil and would turn against what was right to do?
“My parents are mighty people and proud of their legacy.” My voice was harsh as I squared my shoulders back, the older lady’s eyes slightly widened, “My mother was a Hufflepuff and she raised me with compassion and fierce love that taught me how to differentiate wrong from right. My father was a Ravenclaw that is beyond wise his years and values knowledge above anything else, he taught me that there is no reason to live if you don’t learn constantly, if you don’t find a passion that you excel in. Excuse me if I find no joy in slaying those innocents around me, if I don’t enjoy tea parties organized to discuss who would and who wouldn’t live another day. You, and everyone else, should know basic human decency and stop playing the Gods you’ll never be. I am Slytherin proud of my heritage, and Merlin be damned if I let another one look down on me because of my parents, who have achieved things far beyond your capability in this fragile life that we live. So, if you happen to have a problem with me, or the fact that I am a Song, please, speak to be bluntly and not in riddles.”
The older lady’s mouth hung open in shock, and we have earned the attention of Tom and the man he was talking to, the two looking just as taken aback as the lady. Well, Tom didn’t look that much surprised, his frown told me of his distaste towards my words, and the swift glare sent my way signalled to me to shut up. But I didn’t want to, my nerves were on a high and if one more person mentions my parents and the fact that I am the ‘Songs’ daughter’, I shall repeat my speech proud and loud for the whole room to hear. It wasn’t hard to guess that it was infested with Grindelwald’s people, and my stomach churned as I felt Tom’s fingers sneak around my wrist, holding it so firmly I almost winced in pain.
“She’s opiniated.” Is what the old man said at last, eyes narrowed as he pulled his wife closer into his side, “Is this who you’ve looked up to at Hogwarts? The woman you’ve mentioned before?”
My breath stilled as I looked at Tom confused, feeling suddenly uncomfortable as I tried to untangle his fingers from my wrist but he wasn’t letting go. Was Seonghwa right all along? Was Tom trying to veer me away from Seonghwa while we were at Hogwarts? Had I been actually blind to Tom’s advances? But that mustn’t have been possible, I’ve heard Tom say multiple times that he wasn’t capable of feeling love for anyone, nor was he interested in maintaining any relationships, not even friendships.
“I apologize for her harsh words,” Tom bowed his head humbly, making my eyebrows furrow, “in her field of work she must be blunt and unfiltered, sometimes that slips into her everyday life too.”
I grit my teeth, but remained silent as the older man chuckled, eyes twinkling as he took me in. My face was a mask of impassiveness despite the urge to jinx both him and his wife. Deciding that I didn’t want to partake in this wretched conversation anymore, I turned my head and allowed my eyes to survey the crowd again. I heard Tom’s voice, but I paid no mind to what words were said. I knew the older couple walked away with a laugh on their lips, and I felt Tom’s eyes piercing the side of my head, but I was frozen. My tremors returned in the worst way, making my arms tremble as I tried to gulp but my throat felt dry, eyes glassing over the longer I looked at the familiar, yet so foreign face of my once lover. He was far from us, in the heart of the crowd as he tipped his head back, lips pulled into a charming smile as he laughed. The sound was swallowed by the cacophony created by the conversing people and the playing orchestra, yet I could hear its warm timbre as if he were right next to me.
He had also changed, became less boyish looking and turned sharper in angles he didn’t have before. His jaw was sharp and his nose tall, his round eyes void of the softness I was so used to receiving from him. His cheekbones were more defined than before, his cheeks having lost the baby fat I so loved pinching, and his black hair was longer than I have ever seen it before, framing his face, falling onto his forehead as his bangs were styled carefully. Gone were his wild curls that he always struggled to keep in one place. Park Seonghwa has changed since the last time I’ve seen him, and I was afraid I couldn’t recognize him anymore. Had Grindelwald stolen away even the last remnants of my lover?
“I can’t breathe.” I croaked out as I held onto my middle, my muscles so tense I was in pain as I tried not to double over and empty the contents of my stomach. I needed my pills, I had to take them before I would cause a scene. Suddenly, as Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes turned sharp, vigilante, and found mine, Tom obscured my view of him, eyebrows furrowed in concern, yet I couldn’t actually see the concern in his eyes, or on his face.
“Let’s head over to the bar,” He said quietly, grabbing my hand and stopping the absent-minded scratching I had started doing, “water will do you good.”
I hummed, unable to will my legs to move, and felt thankful when Tom gently coerced me towards the bar, nestling my arm in his as he pulled me into his side, his cologne foreign. There was nothing comforting about his presence, unlike how Hongjoong’s had been, and I struggled to regulate my breathing and frantic heartbeats, telling myself that I was here on a mission and that I had to place aside any feelings I felt towards Seonghwa. I couldn’t compromise my mission this way, I was here to offer Seonghwa a way out. If I wasn’t able to keep it together for just one night, then why was I even here?
Too wrapped up in my mind, I didn’t hear Tom speak to the bartender, nor did I see the glass of water that was placed in front of me until Tom poked my trembling hands and pushed the glass towards me. I quickly took it and gulped down the cool water in a few sips, thankful that the ache in my throat was finally soothed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I placed the glass back onto the surface of the bar, willing my muscles to loosen up as I licked my lips, Tom’s pressing stare becoming irritating. I exhaled slowly and opened my eyes, glancing over to Tom, voice raspy as I spoke up, “Thank you.”
“I’m here for you.” Tom muttered, grabbing my hand and making the hairs stand on my arms as I didn’t want to be touched. But I said nothing as I gulped and nodded once, focusing on my trembling hands as I knew Tom had noticed them, his eyes straying towards them. If only I could fetch my purse to take just one pill, it would help a lot right now. I sighed and had started pulling my hand away from Tom’s just as a person appeared right next to Tom, lean body leaning against the bar as his eyes were cold, narrow, and piercing.
“Good evening.” He spoke up upon making eye contact with me, and I forgot how to breathe all over again, “Miss Song, Mr. Riddle.”
“Mr. Park.” My voice was a mere whisper as our eyes bore into each other, mine desperately searching for a semblance of the man I used to love. But it was gone, innocence and youth long ripped from him, now only a shell of the dorky and geeky boy that used to recite poems to me that he found in muggle books. It broke my heart; it made me mad—it made my hands tremble even worse.
“Oh, and who are these?” A very thick accented female voice spoke up, her dark red lips pulled into a pleasant and friendly smile as her eyes rivalled Tom’s blueness. I gulped, eyes straying from her onto Seonghwa as he looked down at her, his expression softening as he placed an arm around her middle. I didn’t allow myself to feel anything upon seeing that as my eyes snapped back up to Seonghwa’s face, waiting for his next move.
“Old acquittances from Hogwarts.” He said easily, flashing the woman a quick fake smile, “This is Rhaena, she went to Beauxbatons.”
“Pleased to meet you!” Her French accent was irritating as she extended her hand to shake, eyes stalling on Tom for a second too long. I bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to reign in my scowl as Tom elegantly pressed a kiss against her knuckles, smirking at her with a charming gaze.
“My name is Song Y/N.” I introduced myself confidently once it was my turn to shake her hand, my handshake firm and perhaps too strong as Rhaena winced while my eyes landed on Seonghwa, my own lips pulling into an unamused smirk, “I must admit being introduced as mere acquittances leaves me with a distaste I didn’t think I’d harbour towards you, Mr. Park.”
Tom laughed loudly, watching Seonghwa with a challenging look as Rhaena turned and looked back at him with a quirk to her eyebrow, “My memories must be murky, my apologies, it’s been long since we’ve last seen each other, Miss Song. But I see you continue entertaining your old admirers—”
“Admirer is a strong word,” Tom cut him off with a chuckle, but it was far from being friendly as he glared at Seonghwa, “I merely admire Miss Song’s working etiquette, always have, ever since our time at Hogwarts, I suppose. Is it such a crime to look up to a strong, ambitious, and independent woman?”
I could see the spark of interest in Rhaena’s eyes the longer Tom talked, and it irked me. If she was with Seonghwa, why was she so openly interested in other men? Did Seonghwa not see? Did he not care? Seonghwa deserved better than a woman who couldn’t remain loyal to him.
“Ambitious with foolish ideas—” Before Seonghwa could finish his jab and break my heart more than it was already, Rhaena interjected, smiling widely at Tom. I knew he wasn’t interested in her, but it was scary how well he played his act of looking interested in the eager woman.
“I have always loved a man who is able to recognize the power his partner holds and worship her like a queen.” Rhaena’s lips pulled into a suggestive smirk as she licked her lips, eyes raking over Tom’s body, making me feel uncomfortable as I eyed the two. Tom chuckled under his breath but I noticed the way his jaw clenched and unclenched.
“You’re too daring for me, Miss Rhaena.” Tom settled with saying, making the French woman pout as she suddenly pressed herself to Seonghwa’s side, who was glaring at Tom’s blatant rejection.
“And Miss Song isn’t?” Seonghwa’s lips pulled into a vicious smile, face contorting into something sinister as he continued with an air of insignificance, “After all, Aurors take great pride in their work and never place anyone above themselves.”
“Miss Song knows the distinction between her personal life and her work.” Tom snapped back, grabbing the sleeve of my dress when I started shuffling on my feet, feeling uncomfortable by the exchange. I felt a little prodding in my mind and as I glanced at Tom, he was already looking at me with a frown. I nonverbally reassured him that I was okay, and finally admitted to him that I was here on a mission. He understood quickly and didn’t ask questions, only stated that he’d help me with whatever.
“So, you two are married, then? Rhaena kept on antagonizing us as our telepathic conversation was broken, and my eyebrows furrowed as I scoffed.
“Tom is an old friend that I have always been fond of, are you married to Seonghwa?” Perhaps my tone was too snappy, perhaps my words gave away too much. I gulped, realizing that my emotions were getting the best of me, making me ponder again whether I should just go ask for my purse to take another pill. Things were going horribly; this isn’t what I had planned for the night.
“No.” It was Seonghwa who answered, voice deep and laced with anger, “What are you doing here, Miss Song? I haven’t seen you at the casino before.”
“I’m here to accompany Tom as he’s told me he’s been feeling rather lonely on his visits to the casino.” I plastered on a fake smile, levelling my voice so that they wouldn’t be able to tell that I was lying. Even Tom seemed to be surprised as he hummed next to me in confirmation of said lie, tilting his head as he looked at Seonghwa challengingly, “It’s a nice break from my work that you seem to know so much of, Mr. Park.”
But Rhaena seemed to be stuck on a different part of the conversation, “Mr. Riddle, would you like to be my first dance partner of the night?”
I stiffened as Tom chuckled, giving me a quick glance before he nodded and extended his hand for Rhaena to take. She batted her eyelashes at him and pursed her lips as she waved at Seonghwa, walking off with Tom towards the dance floor. I gulped, eyes stuck onto them as I subconsciously started rubbing my left hand, nails digging into my skin painfully, scratching the skin as it left marks. My heart had started hammering against my chest, and I couldn’t face Seonghwa as I felt his piercing gaze bore into the side of my head. I knew why I was here; I knew what I wanted to say to him, but his hostile attitude wasn’t something I had expected, and now I felt like I needed to rethink and reformulate everything I had wanted to say to him.
Jumping at the sudden warm touch against my hand, I faced Seonghwa with wide eyes as he squeezed my fingers, stopping me from scratching my skin up more. My eyebrows furrowed as my hand tingled, leaving my throat dry once again as Seonghwa’s expression was blank, his round eyes having lost their beautiful and warm glimmer.
“Will you dance with me?” His voice was quiet, tone almost dejected, and I gulped as I nodded wordlessly. He didn’t release my hand, instead, he intertwined his fingers with mine as he led the way towards the dancing crowd, making my insides churn at the familiar feel of his larger palm pressing against my small one.
For a second, I felt like a teenager back at Hogwarts, dancing with Seonghwa under the moonlight to a melody that he so often hummed. But the bodies that nearly collided into mine did a good job of helping me repress the memory to stay level-headed, and instead, I straightened my back and finally remembered what I was taught when I was training to become an Auror. The mission was my number one priority now, and so, I repressed all emotions and slipped a neutral expression onto my face as Seonghwa stopped in the middle of the crowd and turned around to face me. He raised our intertwined hands and yanked me towards himself, taking me off guard as I stumbled into his body. He swiftly grabbed onto my hip and I steadied myself as I held onto his shoulder, turning my head away to gaze over it as Seonghwa’s eyes landed on my face. My heart was hammering against my ribcage, skin burning everywhere it touched Seonghwa’s.
It felt familiar being in his hold, warm and comforting, yet his body was tense and on-alert. Seonghwa was a smart man, he knew if I was here, other Aurors might be too, he was on the look-out in case he needed to flee. My body was tense too, but for different reasons. I was trying not to give in to the yearning of my consciousness after the warm body that I knew so well, the embrace that made me feel like the luckiest person on the planet, the lips that ignited my skin on fire wherever they touched. I have missed Seonghwa so much that sometimes I wondered if my impeding madness was imposed upon me by our separation.
“It’s unexpected seeing you here.” Seonghwa muttered carefully, voice void of the previous hostility. I gulped and nodded, having to agree with him.
“I was curious of this place.” That wasn’t a total lie, and Seonghwa could tell. I felt his finger graze against my knuckles, gently rubbing them, but I ignored it for my peace of mind—which I was already struggling with.
“And how do you like it?”
“It’s too pompous, fake, prestigious.”
“People are here to make beneficial connections, of course it’s fake.” Seonghwa’s voice had dropped low so that nobody but me would hear him. I hummed, licking my lips as I felt him pull me more into himself as we danced around in a small circle, his familiar cologne making my head spin. Even after all these years, he looked and felt like the Seonghwa I once fell in love with.
“Your hair is long now.” I had no idea why I said that but I couldn’t take it back now, and Seonghwa’s steps stuttered for a second, making me step on my dress.
“I’ve always liked it better like this,” He said once he cleared his throat, “I kept it short because my parents didn’t like it.”
“I know.” I whispered and closed my eyes, giving in to my body’s cravings as I felt Seonghwa’s hand slip lower, press firmly against my lower back as our bodies flushed together, making me let out a stuttered breath.
“And your parents, are they well?” I felt bile rise up in my throat upon the question that left his mouth. He knew about them, of course he did, it was his people who sent them into hiding. My parents had played an enormous part in discovering the identity of Grindelwald’s men and their hideout. Of course, they were being hunted by Grindelwald now. I wasn’t safe either, but I was an Auror now, a talented one, Grindelwald wouldn’t waste his time on somebody who could very well defend themselves against him and his army. At least, not yet. I’m sure my time will come too.
“You’re being a hypocrite right now, Seonghwa.” I snapped, hearing him heave a sigh.
“They’ve always been kind to me, I do not wish mal-intent towards them—”
“And towards others?” I snapped, eyebrows furrowed as I pulled my head back to be able to look him in the eyes, “Towards all the innocent lives Grindelwald has taken—you have taken?!”
Seonghwa gulped, jaw clenching as his eyes narrowed, “There’s nothing innocent about being oppressed and having to hide our true nature while those mudbloods continue living their lives carefree and in peace.”
“Mudbloods.” I whispered, shaking my head in disappointment at Seonghwa, “You’re a half-blood, Seonghwa—”
“Enough.” Seonghwa snapped, his grip on my hand turning just a little painful, “I do not want to hear whatever you have to say—”
“Well, that is hilarious, Seonghwa.” I chuckled humourless, eyes narrowing at him in annoyance, “You cannot silence me, you cannot tell me what to do.”
“I can silence you,” He gulped, eyebrows furrowing, “for forever, if I want to.”
I froze, feeling a chill run down my spine, and then I just chuckled. I raised my eyebrows at him, looking him in the eyes challengingly, “Like you’ve silenced all those unassuming folk living in those village you burned to a crisp?!”
Seonghwa’s face contorted in anger, his round eyes narrowing as they stared me down fiercely, a dangerous glint in them, “What had to be done was done. They refused to join our cause.”
“A cause that is wrong and harms others, Seonghwa.” My voice raised slightly as I had lost my patience, our faces leaning in close as we both breathed through our noses harshly, glaring down each other, “You’ve done so many atrocities that you’re afraid to face the repercussions, isn’t it? It’s still not late, Seonghwa, if you come with me tonight, I can make things less painful for you. I can convince the officials to lessen your sentence, I can make them reason with you. If you say you regret everything you’ve done and that you will strive to fix your mistake, they will—”
“I will never do that.” Seonghwa hissed and I felt his breath fan my face, “I stand by what I believe in, I stand by what I have done, Y/N. You are on the wrong side, and you all will pay.”
Body shaking from both anger and anxiety, I tried to inhale deeply and exhale, but my throat felt restricted, and the longer I remained in Seonghwa’s arms the more choked up I would feel. I needed to get away, to get away from the man that didn’t resemble my once lover. This wasn’t the Seonghwa I had fallen in love with, this was—a monster standing in front of me. I bit my lower lip, feeling them tremble as I tried to supress the desperate need to cry, I wouldn’t do it. Not here, not in front of him, not ever again. I have cried enough because of him.
Feeling unsafe and cold in his arms, I tried to detach myself from Seonghwa, but his hold only tightened as his eyebrows further furrowed, looking like he was fighting with himself, a turmoil going on inside his mind. My blood froze over when my eyes slipped from his face, falling onto the necklace that sat against his black shirt, sparkling underneath the dim lights. It was the star necklace I had gifted him. Shaking my head, I looked back up in his eyes, grabbing onto the collar of his vest as Seonghwa’s arms held me in a firm embrace, fingers pressing painfully so into my lower back, “Seonghwa.”
And when his eyes shook, I knew he had lost control over himself, over his emotions, over his mind. I felt my eyes fill with tears for breaking even the little trust that’s remained between the two of us as our eyes bled into each other, making it easy for me to push through his fragile mind’s barriers. It was frightening how dark his thoughts were, revolving around murder and strategies of taking down even more people, of converting even more wizards and witches for their ‘greater’ cause. It was terrifying how good of a manipulator Grindelwald was, the fatherly look in his eyes when he looked at Seonghwa, the praises that left his mouth addicting—the complete opposite of Seonghwa’s muggle father who would never understand our world. I felt a small resistance trying to build itself back up in his mind, but I was stronger—Tom’s lessons at Hogwarts had paid off, the Auror training only making my acquired skills stronger—and so, I pushed forward, searching for anything that would be of use for future purposes.
In my search, I stumbled past sleepless nights spent staring up at the ceiling, of tear-filled eyes and salty cheeks as a familiar man cradled Seonghwa to his chest, shushing him and reassuring him of a bright ending. I heard broken whispers of my name as he’d wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare, of lustful touches that were turned down in a haste at last, and ear-piercing shouts that sent everything tumbling to the ground, shattering. And then, painfilled screams and pleas for mercy, people on their knees crying, mothers cradling their children to their chests as their houses burned down and—a piece of parchment that would’ve been blank if it wasn’t for the name of the town scribbled down on it, Grindelwald’s harsh voice commanding my once lover to make everyone perish, nobody spared. He didn’t need anyone on his side from that village, he wanted revenge. Revenge on my parents and on everyone who’s ever tried to mislead him and take him down. Mingi. Yunho.
Seonghwa and I gasped loudly as he finally managed to push me out of his mind, not that I wanted to see anything beyond this. I have seen everything I needed. I had to alert the aurors of the attack Grindelwald had planned on our hideout. My heart raced in fear for my loved ones, and suddenly, I became aware of the hands holding my arms painfully, making me hiss out in pain as I looked up at Seonghwa’s face, feeling my heart still as his eyes were filled with tears, shaking, mouth agape as he looked speechless. I knew he’d hate me for invading his mind without permission, but I had to do it. Our trust in each other has been long broken; I was doing this for the greater good. Seonghwa wouldn’t understand, but he didn’t have to. Despite being a monster, he did something good, he contributed to saving hundreds of lives by weakening his mental barrier.
“You-you—” His voice was shaky as his eyebrows furrowed, body starting to shake from anger, “how could you?!”
“You made me do this, Seonghwa.” I gulped, jumping when he grabbed my nape painfully so, yanking our heads so close to each other that our lips brushed together. I felt my knees grow weak, it would be so easy to press my lips against his now, to feel the soft and plush skin against mine, to devour him and taste him. He’s always felt like home, but would he still feel like it? “You gave me no choice, Seonghwa.”
He scoffed, sneering at me as I whimpered when his fingernails dug into the sensitive skin of my neck, “You’re a monster, they’ve turned you into a monster.”
“As they have with you.” I whispered, biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying, to keep myself from surrendering to Seonghwa completely. Seonghwa huffed, looking like he couldn’t believe what I have just said, eyes falling onto my lips as I tilted my head back, hands smoothing against his chest as my fingers ached from griping onto his vest so tightly. And my eyelashes threatened to flutter closed when Seonghwa angled his head just a little lower, his plump lips slotted perfectly against mine if one of us were to just tip our heads even the slightest forward.
But we were monsters to each other, the bogeyman of each other’s stories.
1943
I was close to finishing my patrolling duties, the Astronomy Tower my last stop before I could head back to the Slytherin common room and catch up on some much-needed sleep. Our examinations for the end of the year were nearing, more notedly, we only had one more week to catch up on every lesson before we’d be subjected to the long week of finals. It was stressful and I barely had any time for anything besides studying, so, much like others, I was cooped up in the library, scribbling down any necessary information that I might’ve missed during classes. Seonghwa and I only met up when we’d have breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the dining hall—unless one of us decided to skip due to not having studied enough that day. But that was alright, we both valued our studies and grades above all and, besides, we left little messages for each other in hidden places that we knew the other would patrol in the evenings after curfew.
The steps to the Astronomy Tower were steep and made of thick concrete, I pressed my palm against the stone wall for guidance and to feel safer as I was headed up to the tower. I had a slight fear of heights, which wasn’t too handy when I had to fly on a broom, hence why I never even considered playing Quidditch despite finding it cool and entertaining. Hongjoong could’ve probably brewed me a potion that made my fear halt but then again, I don’t know how smart it would have been to trust Hongjoong with even the simplest potions. He loved experimenting, and I had been on the receiving end of his failed brews one too many times. I am sure Madam Gorsemoor, herself, will banish me from this school if I turn up with an aching tummy to her Infirmary one more time.
I was panting by the time I reached the top of the stairs, all I had to do was round the corner and peek around it, then I could bolt back down to the Slytherin dormitories. However, just as I was about to do that, I heard hushed voices echoing around the stone walls. I couldn’t tell exactly what was being said as the voices were low, nonetheless, I did have to interrupt whatever was going on as I was a Prefect—I would even need to deduct house points if these were students and not professors. Squaring my shoulders and straightening my back to look more menacing than I actually was—with hopes of scaring off the students—I power-walked around the corner, only to freeze in the next second. Seonghwa stood leaning against the railing of the terrace, the wind howling loudly without the walls protecting us, and he was speaking to Rabastan Lestrange. My eyebrows furrowed as I noticed another figure sitting down, feet dangling over the ledge as he was leaned back on his hands, gazing up at the bright starry night sky, Hongjoong.
I didn’t understand what was happening, and I gulped as I carefully hid back around the corner, grateful that the three boys hadn’t noticed me. I peeked my head around the stone wall, still, and cast a wandless eavesdropping spell, Seonghwa and Rabastan’s voices suddenly tangible to my ears.
“So, what you’re saying is that your parents got everything ready for us?” Seonghwa’s usually warm voice lacked emotion now, and I could see that his eyebrows were slightly furrowed.
“Yes, all we have to do is give them the go.” Rabastan’s voice was harsh much like his father’s, and my eyebrows furrowed even more as I felt more confused than ever. What was this about and how did Seonghwa know Rabastan? What even was the purpose of this meeting after curfew? Was it worth it for Rabastan and Hongjoong to get caught and have house points reduced?
“But are you certain we’ve got enough people on the inside?” Seonghwa pressed on, sounding stressed, “Out of twenty-five people I have talked to, only ten wanted to join the cause.”
“Is he one of them?” Rabastan scoffed, tilting his head in Hongjoong’s direction as he remained ignorant of the two. I chewed on my bottom lip as Seonghwa glanced back at his best friend then shook his head slightly.
“Don’t worry about him,” Seonghwa muttered and Hongjoong gave him a lopsided smirk and a wink. Rabastan looked disgusted as he averted his eyes, glaring at Seonghwa now.
“If Grindelwald arrives and marches inside the school, we need to have enough students on his side to defend against the other fools, Park.” Rabastan hissed and my eyes widened, a tiny gasp slipping past my lips in shock, “He’s been planning this for way too long for you to mess it up—”
“And I have been planning alongside him just as much, Lestrange.” Seonghwa leered as he got all up in Rabastan’s face, his face contorted in anger. I had never seen Seonghwa look like that, I couldn’t believe this was real, that my Seonghwa was saying such things. What did he mean he’s been planning alongside him—alongside Grindelwald?! Was Seonghwa doing bad things behind my back? There had to be an explanation to all of this, this can only be a sick joke. Before I could react, Hongjoong tipped his head back, looking rather bored until we made eye contact. His eyes widened instantly and his mouth fell open as he struggled to scramble up as I shook my head at him ‘no’, but it was already too late.
“Seonghwa!” He hissed, and I watched as my lover looked over to his best friend with an irked expression on his face until he followed Hongjoong’s line of sight, our eyes meeting. I gasped, my heart racing in my chest as I whirled around and took off running, waving off the spell I had cast. I held onto the railing tightly as I tried to make my way fast down the stairs, struggling not to stumble and accidentally fall as I heard hurried footsteps echo behind me, laboured breaths leaving the person’s mouth. I didn’t dare look back to see who was following after me, but if they weren’t casting jinxes my way it meant that I was somewhat safe. At least as long as they didn’t reach the end of the staircase. The winding stairs seemed to suddenly never end as the wind howled in the distance the closer I got to the bottom, to the wooden door that was ajar as I had left it like that, the key to the door sitting in my pocket.
My lungs heaved for air as I finally reached the last stone step, letting go of the railing as I ran for the wooden door, screaming in fright when I felt a hand wrap around my bicep and yank me back before I could leave. I was whirled around and pushed against the door as I frantically tried to fight off the hands gripping my arms now.
“Y/N, it’s me.” The breathy voice was gentle, “My love, it’s Seonghwa.”
But that wasn’t comforting to hear anymore as my head snapped up, wide eyes staring at Seonghwa’s worried face. I gulped and gripped his forearms, pulling him closer towards me as our chests rose and fell quickly, “Explain.”
Seonghwa’s face blanched, skin paling as he gulped, his grip softening against my biceps, “I—what you heard isn’t—my love, let’s stay level-headed—”
“Is it true?” I snapped, jaw clenching as I couldn’t stand to hear him stutter, “What Lestrange has said, is it true, Seonghwa?!”
“Calm down first—”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I screamed and fought his grip off, pushing him away from me. My hands had started trembling as I stared at him with disgust, trying to make sense of everything, “It is true?! Are you on-on Grindelwald’s side?!”
“Y/N,” Seonghwa froze, his expression suddenly faltering as he looked past me, at the wooden door, “Yes—Yes, I am.”
I felt my heart clench as tears flooded my eyes in an instant, and I was gripping Seonghwa’s shirt in a flash, yanking him down to be eye-level with me, “Tell me you’re lying. Look me in the eyes.”
Seonghwa’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he licked his lips, struggling to take a long breath as his eyes fell on my face, searching for something that he didn’t find as suddenly he looked resigned, “It’s not a lie, my love, I have chosen to support Grindelwald’s cause. We’ve been forced to suffer for too long, shunned into hiding while those creatures do as they please, while they live the lives we are supposed to live.”
I shuddered at his words and released him as if he had burned me, hugging my arms around my middle as I bit my bottom lip, a few tears having escaped my eyes, “You were there. At Lucy’s funeral, you were there, Seonghwa. She died because of Grindelwald. Her entire family—eradicated, burned down, because she was an innocent Muggle.”
Seonghwa’s eyes were filled with tears too as I had started crying now, hands shaking even more as I tried to wipe my cheeks dry, but the tears just kept flowing, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?!” I snapped, voice shaking from the betrayal I was feeling, from anger, and from feeling like my heart’s been ripped out, “How could you look me in the eyes every single day, touch me, when you’ve been going behind my back and plotting such atrocious thing, Seonghwa?!”
“I wanted to tell you but you—you—” I took a step back as Seonghwa tried to reach out for me, watching the hurt expression on his face due to my rejection, “I knew you’d react like this; I just couldn’t tell you. You’d—ruin our plans.”
It felt like a punch to the gut hearing the love of my life say those things and I laughed, body shaking in despair and pain that this is the side my lover had chosen. The man I thought I would marry one day, give children to, grow old with. Yet here he stood in front of me, with tears streaming down his face—an abomination, just a mere shell of what he used to be, “Your father is a muggle, Hwa.”
His jaw clenched and he swiftly wiped his tears off his cheeks, taking deep breaths to calm himself down, “And he’s never been good to me.”
I gulped as I closed my eyes and willed my muscles to ease up a bit so that I could move again. I brushed my hair back as I blinked my eyes open, a little blurry from the tears that still threatened to spill out, but I sucked it up and nodded, ignoring my heart that was crying out for my mind to stop, not to say the words that would leave my lips soon, “Goodbye, Mr. Park.”
“What?” Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed as I grabbed the door handle behind me and bowed my head respectfully.
“Finish your Prefect duties and go back to your dormitory.” My voice was devoid of any emotion as I yanked the wooden door open behind myself, mind numb and silent for once, “I shall do the same, I won’t report this to Headmaster Dippet just yet.”
“Y/N, what are you—”
“I believe it’s Miss Song to you, Mr. Park.”
Seonghwa’s eyes widened as I stepped outside, hands trembling beyond normal as I had started feeling faint, “Y/N, no. No, you cannot leave me, I don’t—I cannot—please, Y/N, my love, please don’t. I cannot live without you, Y/N—”
The wooden door was loud as it slammed shut in my face, making my knees go weak as I tumbled to the floor, gasping for air as my whole chest felt on fire, tears wetting my cheeks before I could even try to stop them from escaping. The gut-wrenching sob that rippled through the hallway despite the wooden door that separated us made my skin crawl, my heart screaming at me to go back and take back everything I’d said to Seonghwa, but my mind knew what was right. My mind knew there was no further future for us, for Seonghwa.
He had chosen his path, and I have chosen mine.
Like many knew, my work etiquette was beyond pristine and precise. I valued my missions above anything else, and so, I had wasted no time in reporting back to the Auror’s Office—to Theseus Scamander—about what I had found out at the casino. The attack that Grindelwald’s men—Seonghwa—was tasked to lead to avenge their leader. I could only hope that I was on time, that they hadn’t gotten to the village just yet, but with Seonghwa knowing that I had discovered their plans, it was probable that I was either too late, or they wouldn’t attack anymore. Either way, I was compromised and I needed to move, to go into hiding at one of our safe houses. I had requested to be placed close to Yunho and Mingi, in hopes that I could finally find them and speak to them. I missed them gravely, and slowly I had started feeling crazy without their safe and comforting presence around me.
But my mission wasn’t over yet, due to the weight of Seonghwa’s own mission, now I was tasked with killing him. It was a straight-up order, nothing could change their minds. Even if Seonghwa apologized and begged, they wouldn’t forgive him. In their eyes, he deserved to die—and I knew this. He did deserve to die, but I couldn’t ignore the growing lump in my throat and the coil of my stomach any time I tried to come up with a plan to lure him towards me. I was a trained professional, and I was tasked to kill a man. It would have been like second nature if said main wasn’t Seonghwa. I didn’t know how to proceed just yet, but I knew upon seeing Mingi and Yunho I would find solace in their presence and inspiration in their ideas. But one thing was certain, I would never be able to face Hongjoong again if my mission was successful.
I had woken up early in the morning to pack away my most important belongings, stuffing old polaroids deep into my satchel bag—the same one I had used at Hogwarts. At times when I felt nostalgic and missed the good old times, I would flip through the moving polaroids that had been taken at Hogwarts, many of them of Seonghwa and I, or of Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and I. Despite Yunho and Mingi having entered my life recently—three years ago, more specifically—the pictures of the three of us belonged in the same pile. Those two were like the brothers I never had.
I had taken my time to venture into the Muggle World and buy enough pills to last me three months in case I had to hide for a longer period of time, and I was already tempted to abuse the prescribed amount as I placed the third bottle away in my satchel bag, zipping it closed and placing it down onto the floor, next to my other bags. Now all I had to do was wait for the official that would fetch me and Apparate me to the safe house. Only a select few knew of its location, and I would be granted permission only once we have arrived to it. It didn’t help either that last night I was plagued with nightmares, the lack of sleep and the pills I had taken earlier this morning made me feel drowsy now, making me contemplate if taking a nap right now was smart or not. But I felt too restless to sleep, and thus, I couldn’t stop pacing around my main hallway, chewing away at my bottom lip. I was thinking of ways that I could deal with Seonghwa, desperately trying to find a way out in which he remained alive, when there were three firm knocks at my front door. I released a stressed sigh, grateful that the official was finally here and that I wouldn’t have to think about my issues for a little while.
I hurried over to the door, unlocking it quickly and yanking it open, freezing in surprise. The black cloaked figure was tall, head leaning down and obscured by a hood, making me wonder if the Ministry had changed up their customs and forgot to update me about them. But then, the person raised their head just until I could see their eyes, and I froze. Round eyes were narrowed into a ferocious glare and I gasped as I went to slam the door shut, fear striking my whole body as Seonghwa threw himself against my front door, pushing with all of his force to throw it open. I hissed as I leaned against the door heavily, refusing to give up, but Seonghwa gave it an aggressive push and I was sent tumbling back as I crashed into the round table placed in the middle of the hallway. He pushed the door open with his foot and unclipped his cloak from around his shoulders as he elegantly stepped inside, eyes cautiously glancing around, surveying the place. Perhaps he was looking to make sure I was alone.
I quickly snapped out of my initial shock and pushed off the table, heart beating fast as I ran around the table, going to fetch my wand which was placed atop the fireplace, but suddenly I felt my feet tangle together, sending me face first down onto the floor. I groaned as I narrowly avoided banging my head against the surface and rolled onto my back as I heard footsteps quickly approach. Staring up at Seonghwa wide eyed, his wand pointed at me, I narrowed my eyes and watched as the wand flew out of his hand at my non-verbal spell. His jaw clenched and I quickly jumped up to my feet, eyeing his wand, contemplating whether I should grab his instead as I knew he was never too good at wandless magic. I could only hope that was still true.
But as I lunged towards his wand, which had rolled underneath the table, Seonghwa lunged for me, arms wrapping around me and tackling me onto the table. I gasped as I collided against the surface painfully so, my shoulder digging into the sturdy wood as Seonghwa pressed my cheek with his hand against the surface without mercy.
“You’ve got a nice little cottage for yourself, Miss Song.” He sneered leaning down, “A little too daring for my taste. You didn’t even have wards set up.”
I huffed and grabbed his wrist with my left hand, which wasn’t trapped underneath my body, and yanked his hand off my face, kicking his shin hard with my leg, “I fear no one, Mr. Park. One doesn’t need wards when they live on the edge a Wizarding and Muggle town.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, my love.” I gulped at the once endearing nickname, and trashed around until Seonghwa’s hold loosened, “You made tracking you so easy.”
I chuckled as I finally wrestled my way out from underneath Seonghwa, “Perhaps I wanted to be found, my love, perhaps you just willingly walked into my trap, Hwa.”
Seonghwa froze for a second, face falling as I smirked and jumped up, hand curling around his neck as I threw him into the wall behind him, making him gasp at the sheer force I had used. I had never fought physically against Seonghwa, we had only duelled at Hogwarts. He had no idea what I was capable of in hand-to-hand combat. But I also had no idea how he fought, and I was certainly taken aback when I felt his knee raise into my stomach, making me suck in a sharp breath of air. My hand left his neck as I doubled over, fighting the urge to vomit as Seonghwa looked down at me with a dark look in his eyes. I felt fingers card through my hair and my head was yanked back as I groaned, looking up into his eyes with venom.
“You’re rather unprepared for someone who’s just lured me into their trap.” Seonghwa leered, leaning down, but before he could get too close, I stomped on his foot harshly, making him cry out as he let go of me, pushing me to the side. Regaining my balance, I dashed towards the fireplace to retrieve my wand and I heard hurried movement behind myself as well as we both turned around at the same time, wands held in each other’s direction threateningly. Neither of us moved nor spoke, our eyes boring into each other’s to see who would make the first attack. Based on experience, Seonghwa wouldn’t attack first, he would wait for me to do that, but I suppose times have changed us as I was forced to dodge an attack that almost made my fireplace explode into pieces. My eyes widened at the aggressive nature of Seonghwa’s attack and decided to return the energy. If he wanted to play dirty and use non-verbal magic, I could certainly match his energy.
I sent a Stupefy his way and watched in satisfaction as it took him off guard and sent him flying into the wall, breaking the small shoe rack that I have mounted myself. I smirked at Seonghwa, tilting my head with a challenging glint in my eyes, until I suddenly lost my footing again. It had seemed like he was fond of the spell. Seonghwa looked slightly dazed as I tried to regain my bearings, my head having hit the floor a little hard this time, but the duel must go on, I have gone through far worse things compared to this.
Sharp icy arrows were shot towards me as I scrambled backward, raising an invisible shield with my left hand as I sent blue fireballs towards Seonghwa using wandless magic. His eyebrows furrowed as he raised his own shield last minute, looking taken aback that I could use my magic so sharply while utilizing three methods at once. I knew he couldn’t when his eyes hardened again, giving me time to finally stand up and continue my attack with a spell that had birds materializing and diving for Seonghwa. He yelped and shielded himself, his barrier broken by the bird’s beaks as I shot another Stupefy at him, which he barely avoided as it crashed into the portraits hung onto the wall, sending them crashing to the floor.
I knew his next move before he even did it—I didn’t need to read his mind to know—as I raised another shield, dodging his strong Stupefy as it shattered my spell quite instantly. This duel felt childlike, as if we were testing each other’s patience, wanting to see who would give in first. It almost felt petty, like he was only teasing me because he was so certain that he’d win. I could count on my fingers how often he had beat me in a duel, and I knew for a fact that he still wasn’t better than me. Fed up with our useless fight, I decided to put an end to it as my eyes hardened, Seonghwa’s eyes narrowing upon seeing my expression. But before I could yell out Expelliarmus, I felt my right hand burn, the wand so hot that I had no choice but to drop it as I gasped, the tremors of my hands worsening as I looked back up at Seonghwa. He was smirking, thinking he had won the duel, but I raised my left hand and screamed, “Expelliarmus!”
He didn’t expect me not to give in right away, and so, his wand flew out of his hand as I whirled it against the wall, hearing a crack. My breath halted in my throat as my eyes widened in horror, watching as Seonghwa’s broken wand fell to the floor, his jaw falling open as he flinched. The apology was on the tip of my tongue, but the pure rage that had encompassed Seonghwa’s face made me shiver, and I dashed for the front door, trying to escape before his wrath could reach me. But had I miscalculated our distance, and as I grabbed the handle and tried to open the door, I felt a warm presence behind myself as the door was slammed back shut, my breathing loud in the silent room as my heart had started beating fast.
I was frozen, too afraid to move as I didn’t know what Seonghwa would do now. The man that stood behind me, stopping me from fleeing, was somebody I didn’t know. I could hear Seonghwa trying to level his breaths as his palm remained pressing against the door, his arm brushing against my hair. I tried to calculate my next move, work out what would be the smartest thing to do next, but his proximity made it hard to focus. I had seen him barely two days ago and his touch was still fresh in my mind, haunting my every waking moment, making me crave him like never before.
“Where’s Riddle when you need him, huh?” Seonghwa’s tone was poisonous, laced with hatred as I tensed, eyebrows furrowing.
“I don’t need Riddle,” I hissed, jaw clenching as my grip tightened around the handle, “I can protect myself; I don’t need anyone.”
“One would assume he’d be running here to save you like the lost puppy he was following you around at Hogwarts—”
“Tom has no part in my life!” My voice raised as I grew angrier, whirling around to face Seonghwa. I faltered for a second, finding him too close for comfort as he glared down at me, a dangerous glimmer in his eyes as I gulped, “I only used him to get an invite to the casino because I heard he goes there often—like you.”
Seonghwa’s careful mask cracked for a second as his eyebrows twitched, almost turning into a frown, but he caught himself and smirked instead, leaning down, “You think you can fool me with your pathetic lies?”
“Want me to show you?” I raised an eyebrow challengingly, knowing that it would only make Seonghwa angrier as he detested Legillimency, especially after I have used it on him at the casino.
He scoffed, leaning down closer to my face, “I should’ve killed you on the spot two nights ago—”
“Yet you didn’t,” I breathed out with a scoff, “like I haven’t told anyone about you and Lestrange’s stupid plan of bringing Grindelwald inside Hogwarts.”
“It wasn’t stupid—”
“You failed.”
“Because Riddle caused a scene, as always.” Seonghwa hissed, and I jumped when his fist made contact with the door above my head, making me melt back into the sturdy door, heart racing all over again, “I would’ve killed him a long time ago if Grindelwald hadn’t seen potential in him.”
Dread washed over me as I felt my stomach drop, “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t worry,” Seonghwa leered, tilting his head to the side as his glare made me feel sick to my stomach. He’s never looked at me like that, with so much venom and hatred, “your little lover refused his offer and Grindelwald decided to let him live for a little longer.”
“He’s not my lover.” I snapped, chest rising and falling quickly once again as I started getting angry. When would he understand that I could never look at Tom the way he thinks I did, “I have never harboured any romantic feelings towards Tom—I don’t even understand how my personal life is any of your business. You don’t see me talking ill of Rhaena or questioning her motives with you, Seonghwa.”
He paused as he gulped loudly, his hand slipping lower on the door until it was right next to my head, his wrist brushing against my cheekbone, “Rhaena is someone I work with, it’s all professional.”
“I do not care, Seonghwa.”
“You don’t, right.”
I gulped as suddenly an uncertain look crossed Seonghwa’s features, his eyes momentarily softening as I felt my whole body tingle as he stepped closer, his clothes brushing against mine. I felt my mouth go dry as my eyes roamed his face, palms turning into fists as I felt the sudden urge to reach out to him and touch him. Seonghwa placed his other hand against the door too, caging me in between himself and the sturdy surface. His eyebrows furrowed as his dark eyes bore into mine, bangs slightly obscuring his beautiful eyes as he exhaled slowly, closing the distance between our bodies. I shuddered and tilted my head back as he straightened up, my eyes landing on his plush lips as he parted them, tongue poking out to lick his dry lips. My whole body was buzzing as my eyebrows furrowed, my heart and mind fighting a never-ending battle as I couldn’t contain myself anymore and reached up, fingers reluctantly touching his cheek.
I wasn’t certain if he’d let me as his eyebrows furrowed even more, obvious that he was also struggling to make up his mind. But at last, I decided to be brave and cupped his warm cheek, my hand trembling against his soft skin. Seonghwa gasped quietly as his eyes widened, searching my gaze before his eyes fluttered shut, bringing tears into my eyes. I so desperately wanted to be engulfed by his familiar embrace, the warmth of his safe hug, the feeling of belonging, something I haven’t felt ever since we parted ways. Then, just slightly, as my fingers have started tracing his cheekbone, he turned his head and pressed a firm kiss against my wrist, alighting a vicious fire in my body.
“Seonghwa.” I had barely finished whispering his name when my lips were muffled by his, the familiarity of them making me moan as I threw my arms around his shoulders, clinging to him with desperation. Seonghwa inhaled loudly as he gripped my hips and flushed our bodies together to the point you couldn’t tell where he started and where I ended, and I pushed up on my tiptoes to better kiss him. His pace was sloppy and desperate as I returned the aggressivity of his own lips, fingers tangling in his dark and long locks, pulling on the strands and making him groan in the back of his throat. He leaned down and I felt his hands travel to my thighs, and I jumped before he could signal for me to, legs wrapping around his hips firmly as he pressed me back up against the sturdy door, moaning against my mouth when I finally parted my lips for his tongue to explore. He tasted like the old Seonghwa, he smelled like the old Seonghwa, he even felt like the old Seonghwa.
His body had gotten sturdier, stronger, and yet despite the desperate way he clung to me, fingers pressing into my cheeks or grabbing at my neck, he remained mindful of hurting me, of being gentle even in our desperation to feel each other, to love each other. His tongue lapped at mine eagerly, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth when he pulled back for a scarce breather, making me chase after his lips again as I couldn’t let go of him just yet. Our lips were swollen and covered in our mixed saliva, but I couldn’t care less as finally my thoughts were silent, my body and mind only focusing on Seonghwa. He gripped the back of my thighs and I made sure to hold onto him tighter as he pulled me off the door and started walking aimlessly around my cottage, having to pull away from my lips just slightly so that I could give him directions towards my bedroom.
Our clothes were quick to come off, even before we made it to the bedroom, and I found his once flawless skin now littered with scars, bringing tears to my eyes as he shuddered when I gently traced them with my fingertips. My body wasn’t perfect either, but it definitely harboured less scars than his, and it made me wonder just how many times he’s been in harms way with no guarantee that he’ll make it out alive. Before I could cry, Seonghwa’s lips were pressing against my cheeks, my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my jaw and chin, at last finding my lips as I was guided backwards onto the bed, pressing me down gently as he wasted no time getting on top of me. Despite the passing of time and being away from each other for four years, our bodies seemed to still know the other, our minds remembering every little thing that made the other tick, and it felt natural as we were guided by pure lust and desire for each other.
I had tried to remain composed and focused on Seonghwa, to give back just as much as I was receiving, but when he had settled between my legs, lips pressing feather-like kisses against my thighs until he drove me crazy and had me begging for more, I was a gone woman only able to focus on the immense pleasure his long tongue and plush lips brought, his fingers helping out when it wasn’t enough anymore. When my fingers yanked on his hair so hard that it made him whine, tongue lapping at my juices even faster, making me writ around until he held me down by the hips, Seonghwa knew I was close to unravelling, to coming undone on nothing but his tongue and fingers. But he pulled back, he always did, because he wanted to fill me up, to make me scream his name while I came undone on his dick. His lips kissed all the way up to my lips as I whispered his name over and over again, scratching down his back with my long nails, legs hooking around his hips as he wouldn’t lay on me just yet, tongue tangling with mine and making me taste myself as I reached down between us, grabbing his twitching member.
Seonghwa froze, moaning against my mouth as his eyebrows furrowed, rutting against my palm as I jerked my hand faster, until he was begging me to stop because he didn’t want to finish like this. And I did, I cradled his face in my hands as our eyes bore into each other’s, his dick finally lined up with my entrance as he slowly pushed inside, holding himself up by the forearms. It was painful, it was bittersweet, and it was the most pleasure I have felt in years, all in the arms of the man I had once loved—I still loved. My mouth had fallen open as I hissed in pain, eyebrows furrowing and eyes falling shut as Seonghwa kissed my wrists, whispering reassuring words, understanding that I haven’t done this since we went our separate ways.
But I didn’t need much to get accustomed to the once familiar feel of his dick splitting me open, stretching me out and making me feel filled to the brim, the only thought on my mind being him, Seonghwa. And I tried to swallow the noises that wanted to tear through my throat, but the harder Seonghwa slammed back in, the faster his hips thrust, I could only moan and whine, call out his name repeatedly as he fondled my breasts and made my back arch, hitting my sensitive spot over and over again. I grabbed onto his arms for leverage as he sat back on his heels, holding my hips up tightly as he pulled me down on each thrust to meet him halfway, making me curse out loudly as my stomach had started coiling, the pleasure building up until I couldn’t bear with it anymore.
“Seonghwa.” His name was nothing but a broken whisper as I bit my bottom lip, opening my arms, knowing that he’d understand my request. And he did, because he pressed himself completely against me, my arms going underneath his to hug him tightly as my fingernails pressed into his shoulder blades once again, painfully so, making Seonghwa hiss in pain and pleasure at the same time. He buried his head in my neck as he was panting, hips jerking messily as he was nearing his own undoing, much like I was. Our bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat, chasing our own orgasms as Seonghwa’s right hand lowered between our bodies and started quickly rubbing my bundle of nerves, making me throw my head back and come undone in just a few seconds. His name left my lips like a mantra as I felt tears spring into my eyes from the overwhelming pleasure, body trembling as he stilled, and then I felt hot liquid spill inside me as he lazily continued to move his hips, making my body ache as it all felt too much.
“My love.” His lips brushed against my ear with one final thrust and then he stilled, body going lax as I was panting hard, trying to swallow but my throat felt parched. Seonghwa muttered something against the skin of my neck but I didn’t understand, and I turned my head to press kisses against his hair, his shoulder blade, and ultimately his lips when he raised his head. I instantly felt cold and like I was missing something as he rolled over and pulled out, his chest rising and falling just as frantically as mine. My heart was beating so fast that it felt like a vein would pop in my forehead and I felt Seonghwa’s fingers intertwine with mine. I gulped and looked over, finding nothing but a pained expression on his face and eyes that were overflowing with tears. I couldn’t hold it back in anymore, and let mine fall free as Seonghwa sniffed loudly, his beautiful black hair strewn across my pillow, the cloudy weather casting my bedroom in a dim light.
“I love you, Y/N,” Seonghwa’s voice was raspy and it trembled as he pressed a long-lasting kiss against my knuckles, “I love you so much, my love.”
I bit my bottom lip to fight the sob that threatened to rip through my throat and nodded, bringing our hands up to my cheek to nuzzle it against Seonghwa’s skin, “I love you too, Hwa, always have. Always will.”
But we weren’t meant to be since we were on opposing sides. And we both knew that as our tears stopped flowing, our fingers going numb from how tightly we held onto each other. Seonghwa sighed then released my hand reluctantly, making me bite back a whine as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. Before he could get off my bed, I sat up hurriedly and threw my arms around him, letting out a long exhale as he returned the embrace, cradling my head against his naked chest. I wanted to grow old with him, I wanted to have children that would gift us grandchildren, I wanted us to never be separated again. And maybe Seonghwa wanted that too because his whole body trembled as we somehow found the strength to separate from each other, eyes yearning for something we’d never have.
I watched as he rolled over, then sat on the edge of my bed as I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging my bare legs, looking for even the smallest comfort now that I knew I would let him leave, just this once. This was our final goodbye, the closure we never got. Once Seonghwa was out of my cottage, we’d play our parts, we’d be the enemies everyone thought we were. I was ready, and perhaps he was ready to. An easy smile settled on my lips as I watched Seonghwa lean down and fetch something, his back muscles tensing as he glanced back over his shoulder. My eyebrows furrowed upon the solemn look on his face and I went rigid as he turned his torso around, my own wand pointed at me. His voice was resigned, a whisper, pained.
“Obliviate.”
1944
The train came to a screeching halt as we neared the next village, sending me back in my seat as I stared out the window, feeling bored as I knew nobody who shared the compartment with me. But that’s how it is when you don’t have friends of your own. It was alright, I had always done just fine on my own. As the train stopped and the doors opened, I watched the students who lived in this village get off, pulling their heavy luggage after themselves, greeted by their families who couldn’t wait for them to return home for the summer holiday. My chin was resting in my palm as I pursed my lips, finding it hard to enjoy my last train ride back home, never to return to Hogwarts. There was an ache in my chest that grew the longer I stared out the window, the longer I stared at the messy black-haired boy that had stopped close to the edge of the platform, gazing inside the train, dark and soft eyes landing on me unmistakably.
I gulped, feeling my heartbeat pick up the longer our gazes remained connected, confused by the ache in my chest that only got worse the longer we looked at each other. My eyebrows furrowed as I felt this sudden urge to reach out to him, to get off the train and run into his arms, to breathe in his familiar scent and feel his plush lips press against my skin, and his low voice whisper reassuring words into my ears. I didn’t know why I felt like that, I couldn’t explain the yearning of my own body as the boy’s once familiar face became hazy, unclear. No matter how hard I tried to look, I couldn’t see his features clearly. I couldn’t remember his name.
He became a murky memory in the back of my mind as the train whistled, signalling its departure, and as we took off, I felt the lurch of my heart and the coil of my stomach worsen as I jumped up from my seat, pulling the window open and scaring those sitting in the compartment with me. I looked out the window, head leaning outside as my eyebrows furrowed, the name of the boy on the tip of my tongue as I desperately tried to cry out his name—but I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know who he was. The alarmed cries of the people who rode with me snapped me out of my unexplainable actions, and I settled back into my seat feeling confused and embarrassed as I apologized.
I couldn’t tell anymore why my heart ached like I had loved someone with my whole being, with my soul, like I had sworn to remain by their side forever and even beyond. It confused me as to why I wanted to sob and scream after a boy that once was my guiding light in the darkness, my star. A face once familiar now became just the whisper of a distant memory that I couldn’t put my finger on, a nostalgic ache of a love that felt real, yet intangible.
The stars couldn’t shine bright without their darkness.
Summary: Among the many staff members at General Park's estate, Jongho stood out for his dedication, leaving no room for personal indulgence. Convinced that love and marriage would detract from his commitment to serving the general, he had resigned himself to a life of solitude. But his conviction was challenged with the arrival of an annoyingly perfect Miss Kwon, a new maid whose kindness and efficiency began to make him rethink his life choices.
A/N: As always, special thanks to my one and only, my pookie, @itstheghostofmypast, for coming up with the main concept of Jongho's spinoff.
Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 1
"Why do you keep doing this?" Jongho demanded, his voice harsher than he intended. "I don't need your help. I don't need you."
He had been organising the general's study one afternoon when you approached him with a small bundle of herbs, a remedy you had prepared for a minor ailment you noticed he had been ignoring. You handed it to him with a gentle smile, your eyes filled with genuine concern. Instead of reacting gratefully, his patience snapped.
Your smile faltered, but you held his gaze steadily. "I'm only trying to help, Jongho. You work so hard, and I thought—"
"Don't think, Miss Kwon," he cut you off, his tone icy. "Just do your job and leave me alone. And it's Assistant Choi to you."
For a moment, hurt flashed across your face, but you quickly masked it with a polite nod. "I understand. I apologise if I've overstepped."
Jongho watched you walk away, a strange emptiness settling in his chest. He had done what he needed to do, what he always did—pushed people away. Yet, for the first time, he felt a pang of regret.
Oof, this one's gonna hurt. Prepare thyselves for some emotional damage from this spinoff HAHA baby bear's going to be quite merciless as you can already see🤧
As always, I'll do my best to get the first part out as soon as I can! One thing's for sure, it won't be this weekend HAHA it's my graduation day this Sunday, yippee! But yesss, I'm super excited to hear all your thoughts on the concept! <3
This series is fantastic! I can’t wait for the next parts. I’m trying to wait for the rest of the series to be released so I could read all of it at the same time…however I couldn’t resist the temptation lol.
hiiiii <333 I have lovedddd lovvvveeeddd alll of your works I actually spent my day reading each and everyone of them I love it so muchhh!! 😭❤️
I have a request teehee, could you write one where Sannie is like a professor in your college and there’s little teasing here and there and where he ends up having her alas!! DOM - SAN ‼️💋
his favourite
<prof!san x fem!reader>
Prof Choi likes playing favourites.
You’re his favourite.
Genres/Warnings: smut, dom professor Choi San, pwp, face fucking, unprotected sex, oral (m receive) ,mutual pining, age gap, size kink, cream pies, mild jealousy plot, sir kink, light bondage (just tying up reader) teasing, sexual tension, teaching assistantxteacher obv forbidden but we still eat it up anyway!
Word count: 12.3K
a/n: happy birthday to the man of my dreams </3 enjoy this little choi san birthday treat. i put my love into this so please love this as much as i did! and thank you @bro-atz for the tidbits of help as always 🩷
apply for taglist here!
You stare at the laptop screen, scanning through your details on the application form, double, and triple checking that everything was filled in correctly.
“Which professors are you trying as a teaching assistant for?” Your roommate asks, her neck craning over to see you attaching the file to six different emails, to six different professors within the department, pretty much answering her question the moment she reads off each professor’s email.
“Why not try for the department chair?”
You scrunch your eyebrows as if it’s the first time you’re hearing that.
“Who?”
“Professor Choi?”
Your eyes widen, your neck almost getting whiplash from how fast you turned to your roommate at the sound of his name.
“Why the fuck would I try him?”
Your roommate shrugs in an attempt to hide her amused reaction from your reaction at his name.
“Who knows? I’m confident he remembers you even though you spent only one semester with him”, she hums turning away to pour herself another ice drink from the pitcher. “On a serious note, you may as well just get all the help you can get. Besides, what are the chances that Prof Choi sees your email? He’s the department chair. I’m sure his mailbox is just flooded anyway.”
True, you think to yourself, turning your head back to your laptop, and adding the professor’s email address in. But you still hesitate, staring at the application form, your cursor hovering over the send button. Your roommate looks over at you, and she decides that your wishy-washy behaviour is just being the biggest nuisance on earth, so her hand flies over yours and helps you to press send, and she watches you freak out at her while she giggles and escapes after committing her crime, chasing your roommate around the kitchen island for a good seven minutes.
Settling back down in defeat, you sigh in your hands, giving yourself pep talks.
Right.
The chances are close to zero that Prof Choi will see my application anyway.
The chances of him remembering me are close to zero anyway.
You shut your laptop, and the applications are completely erased from your mind.
“Yo, check your emails, babe. The application results are out for me”, your roommate says, her eyes glued to her laptop screen.
You settle yourself down across her, a chilled drink in your hand, pulling up your email inbox. As you expected, you see the subject headline ‘Teaching Assistant Application Results’, and you expand the email.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me”, you mutter, loud enough for your roommate to hear. Her head pops out from behind her screen.
“Who did you get?”
“Choi San.”
Professor Choi San. His classes weren’t the bane of your existence—but he, himself was.
And the fact that it only took one semester to solidify that claim. Almost everyone wanted to get into his class, so fucking many of them just squealing over how he looked almost god-like. You wonder how much of a swoon he would be, how much of the rumours that travelled down the stream were factual, though with thousands of students constantly fighting for a spot in his class, you sure were coloured surprised when you landed a spot in Professor Choi’s class.
The moment he walked in, the whispers within the confines of the lecture hall erupted into gasps and squeals. Unfortunately, the rumours were right—the moment ProfessorChoi walked in, it was as if your eyes naturally followed his movement—confident strides in his steps dictated by his outfit—a simple dress shirt under a dark gray vest that accentuated his wide shoulders and skinny waist.
He was so fucking handsome—his hair neatly slicked back, frameless glasses sat on his nose bridge, his sharp and small eyes hiding behind the lens. Undoubtedly, seeds of infatuation began lodging themselves in you. Well, it’s not like you had a chance with him anyway, especially when the gold band reflected from his ring finger being a huge indicator. Maybe keeping him as an eye candy would work out just fine.
Prof Choi’s classes were interesting, and he as a professor, other than being a distraction during the majority of his classes, held his credentials. However, at times, some sarcastic comments would bubble to the surface, and even though he did tend to commend top-scoring students for tests, he still maintained professionalism for the most part—the content taught wasn’t rocket science anyway. You saw yourself being able to breeze through the syllabus for the most part until you received your grade for one of your essays. You stared at his comments, marked in red lines, circles, and words—tone cold and direct—not that you weren’t used to it, but this time? You felt his comments alongside him marking you down were completely unjustified.
It was then that you pushed past the group of girls who would stay back after class to shamelessly flirt with him, under the guise of wanting to discuss more about the content taught that day, and you stood before the group, asking to speak to Prof Choi personally. Prof Choi did have people staying back after class to consult with him about grades, although they would stay shortly with him staying stern to his marking rubrics, but when he realised you weren’t backing down on top of the way you approached him so directly, it intrigued him.
His office was spacious, considering that he was the department chair—and without introductions, he had you dive in immediately in consultation.
You wasted no time, flipping through the spent pages of your essay, pointing out areas where you felt his comments were unjustified. Prof Choi listened, and he refuted your points, some of which you decided to accept but not for one particular part;
“This part had no proper scientific support of your argument for this point-“
“Bullshit”, you cut him off. Prof Choi blinked, shocked at the blunt cut from you. His eyebrows were scrunched in confusion next, wondering if he heard right that a student not only just cut him off, but cussed at him.
“Excuse me?”
“It’s here. A small significance value is still something isn’t it?” You replied, pointing at the paragraph after. He glanced at the paper once more, forcing himself to focus while you fought back that your argument was supported.
So you made Prof Choi sit before you and listen to your elaborations, and needless to say, he was rather impressed, although he had to hold his expression neutral.
You came out of the consultation victorious—the day Prof Choi called you over after his class again, handing you your script, and you saw your total marks shooting up to a gorgeous score. Your head was so into the clouds that you returned a smirk along with a shrug—showing off your victory and satisfaction as your thanks—an I told you so, leaving the professor to stare after you in awe while you practically skipped to your seat.
That sealed your fate.
From then on, Prof Choi would have his attention on you—recognising which seat you picked to sit in in class, wondering why you hadn’t dared sit nearer. And when it came to picking people to answer questions, his gaze would fly to you immediately—either waiting to call you out once you raised your hand or simply calling you when he felt like it. For some sick reason, he finds the way your face scrunches up in stress when he calls your name in his honey-soaked voice amusing, and even adorable at times, though he would never admit it. But oh, did he love the comments and answers you would give him.
Despite that assignment being the only one where you decided to consult Prof Choi, following every grade release of an assignment, he would single you out, especially after class, to fucking ask if you had questions regarding said assignment, which honestly started to freak you out—mostly because he never gave you the attention before, and you weren’t used to it. The whispering gossip in the class about you being the teacher’s pet slowly reached your ears too, and even Prof Choi heard it—and he only exacerbated that rumours by constantly giving you his attention.
Every time you reached your dorm, the words that left your mouth which your roommate could recite verbatim, “I swear to god, Prof Choi has it out for me!”
Not to mention you were fucking relieved when the last day of his class rolled around, but unfortunately, his parting words to you were, “I’m sure I’ll see you around, y/n”. You did everything in your power to avoid getting into his class and even bumping into him, which seemed to work swell.
Until now that is.
Now here you are again, standing before the familiar heavy wooden door, staring up at the wooden plate, embossed with gold lettering “Department Chair Choi San” staring right at you. You had to physically drag yourself off your bed to prepare for the first day partnered with Prof Choi. And when your roommate’s words of “oh come on, he can’t be that bad. He’s hot!”, echoed through your ears, it all the more made you want to just ditch your first day by clawing your eyeballs out.
You had to collect yourself before Prof Choi collected you.
With a raised knuckle, you rap against the door, taking deep inhales in the process. His voice, which sounded deceivingly like honey, remained the same as you remembered.
“Come in.”
You pause for a moment, embracing yourself before holding onto to doorknob and pushing his door open.
There he was, Professor Choi, his eyes focused on the scripts on his desk, which had piled up. His space remained the same as you remembered, for the most part—shelves littered with awards and files, the same desktop taking up one-quarter of his huge ass desk, and the couch with the coffee table left to the side of the room. Prof Choi wore a stern look of concentration on his face, still preoccupied with finishing up marking his scripts.
When his pen pauses and his gaze shifts towards the door, a small smile spreads across his face. He lifts his head and drops his pen, interlocking his fingers on his desk with growing amusement when his eyes meet yours.
Fuck, he’s still so handsome.
“Professor Choi”, you greet, holding your expression neutral as you bow, forcing yourself not to fidget with your tote bag.
“Y/n!” Prof Choi greets almost too enthusiastically. “I would assume you would be more than delighted when I picked you to be my teaching assistant.”
“Honoured, almost”, you reply. It’s taking all of your energy not to break his gaze. He’s staring at you with unreadable eyes, and you’re wondering if the fluttering in your chest is from the anxiety or the way Prof Choi is staring at you.
Prof Choi laughs, and it tickles your ears a little too good.
“Sit. We have a lot to go through today”, he gestures to the seat before him, and you take it.
He switches on his monitor to his course syllabus and turns the monitor slightly towards you.
“Oh, before we begin, it’s a pleasure meeting you again, y/n.”
Oh boy, was being Prof Choi’s teaching assistant a fucking handful. You knew it was gonna be rough, but to be assisting Professor Choi San? He was on another level—his schedule would be filled to the brim with meetings with the faculty on top of conducting classes weekly. You struggled in your first month, learning the ropes, especially from a busy and challenging professor like him. He wasn’t mean or cold at all, on the contrary, more direct and meticulous. Well, he had to be, considering his position. Nonetheless, it felt like he was always too busy to attend to your questions sometimes, and that would leave you to your own devices.
You stand in the aisle, looking down at the assortment of foods lined up in the chiller. Has Prof eaten yet? Does he even eat? What does he even eat? By instinct, you pull out your phone and open his chat.
[you]: Hi Prof. Have you eaten? I’m at the convenience store near the campus. I could grab something quick for you.
A couple of minutes go by, but your phone doesn’t receive a ping, and you had to reach the office soon. So you pick up another tuna rice ball for the professor alongside yours before making a beeline for the cashier.
Prof Choi hears the knock on his door and as usual, he utters his usual “come in”. His gaze lands on you, and he glances at the clock.
“You’re on time today”, he points out.
You furrow your eyebrows, confused. “I’m always on time, Professor.”
“You’re usually in a little earlier.”
“Right, because I got you this”, you reply, rustling through the plastic bag in your hands, fishing out the rice ball.
He looks up at you, confusion hinted in his expression. He doesn’t take the food yet.
“What’s this?”
“Tuna rice ball. Surely only having coffee in the morning is not filling your stomach.”
You put the food in front of him. “Besides, I messaged you but you didn’t reply. So I just chose something safe. Unless you’re telling me you’re allergic to tuna or something.”
Prof Choi blinks. His hands reach out to take the snack from the desk, unwrapping the plastic packaging as he watches you leave his office to grab a mug of coffee. He glances over at his phone, and sure enough, your name is there with your message.
Since then, his reply would pop up in mere minutes whenever you asked him if he wanted anything to eat.
Of course, the more you spent time with him, the more you grew comfortable, and all the thoughts you ever stressed about slowly faded off. Prof Choi grew more relaxed around you, internally grateful that you’re able to tank a significant fraction of his workload for him. Undoubtedly, you also come to realise that Prof Choi is human after all—he obviously would make mistakes, even as someone of his caliber, and deep inside, you found it rather cute, well, until you had to stop yourself from developing deranged thoughts.
Not to mention, another problem seemed to pop up—his flirty banter. He likely picked up that it made you flustered sometimes, and since then, he wouldn’t let it go, relishing at the way pink creeps up your cheeks when he would say something that wasn’t like his ‘professor-self’, and at worst, feeding into your crooked thoughts.
You stare at him as he types away, particularly, the metal band around his ring finger. You wonder who was the lucky lady who had the chance to be with him. You blink.
What the hell were you thinking?
“It’s rude to stare, you know”, Prof Choi’s voice snapping you out of your daydreams.
“I’m just wondering about your ring, that’s all”, you reply, forcing your attention back to your half-marked assignments.
“I’m not actually married”, he suddenly confesses, and for some reason, it makes your heart beat slightly faster.
“Huh?” Is all you manage to reply.
Prof Choi chuckles. He pauses his work on the desktop, turning his attention to you. Even though you have worked so closely with him for a while already, you can never seem to find your composure around him.
Even though you see his face every week, you can’t seem to wrap your head around how insanely good-looking he is, how sometimes you struggle to maintain eye contact with him, because it doesn’t take long before you feel yourself slowly flushing.
“I wear it on my ring finger so the students stop asking about my marital status”, Prof Choi clarifies. You watch him pull the ring from his ring finger and fit it over his index.
“So you’re single”, you echo.
He nods, “I’m single.”
What is this strange feeling of relief?
“What about you?” He suddenly asks. You’re not looking directly at him, and you don’t realise the way he’s looking at you attentively. And if you do, you just might combust.
“I’m…single too”, you answer, trying to meet his gaze, fidgeting with the red pen in between your fingers.
“And why’s that? Too busy fighting with your professors for grades?”
You glare at him.
“I think it was my professor picking fights with me”, you reply quickly, jabbing right back at him.
You watch Prof Choi lower his gaze, a smile spreading across his cheeks—an actual smile—his dimples showing up. Oh fuck. Just when you thought you could depend on your ribcage to contain your heart properly, you found out Prof Choi could actually smile.
When he looks up at you again, you break the eye contact, your gaze flying back to the papers before you.
“You know, I’ve met many students, but you were the first to cuss out at me.”
You did? “I did?”
Your professor nods, cocking his eyebrow at the way you had seemed to have simply forgotten something as eventful as that.
This time, Professor Choi bursts into a chuckle, completely amused by your reaction.
“Is that why you kept-“
“Giving you chances to answer in class for credit? You should really thank me for that. Your grade for my class was one of the highest you know.”
You feel your cheeks flush. But before you can retaliate, Prof Choi cuts you off.
“Jokes aside, no. I think the discussion we had that afternoon had an impression on me. The cherry on top was you cussing at me. I liked that. Refreshing and endearing”, Prof Choi continues, his attention seeping back to the pile of scripts before him.
“I think this side of Professor is pretty refreshing and endearing too”, you let it slip.
His pen pauses in mid-air. You don’t catch his gaze completely softening on you.
As the semester continues on, you began easing into the class schedules. You watch prof get swarmed by a group of students, a usual ritual that happens right when the class ends. At this point, you had grown used to it. Sometimes the students would come and approach you instead, which honestly surprised you, but your heart would feel warm, knowing that these students trusted you.
It was then you became acquainted with another teaching assistant under Prof Choi, who joined shortly after you did—Choi Jongho. Initially, he came off as a rather shy individual, but the both of you warmed up quickly with each other, sharing the workload and bonding over gossip with each other. Gosh, was he fucking amazing with gossip, especially when it came to Professor Choi. Soon enough, the both of you were texting almost on a regular basis, the conversations weighing more towards academic topics sprinkled with a little gossip.
“You’re going off with Choi Jongho?”
“Yeah”, you reply, bunching the papers in your hands. “I’ve got some things to discuss with him about.” Partially true.
For some reason, even though your professor has been completely swamped with papers to grade and meetings to attend, you would always find him loitering around your desk from time to time. He seems to especially enjoy doing that when you’re around.
“You’ve been spending an awfully lot amount of time with him”, Prof Choi points out, looking over your shoulder as he watches you scribble on another student’s paper.
“Yeah, we get along well actually. Isn’t that a good thing, Prof? Both your teaching assistants are besties.”
For some reason, that makes Prof Choi frown, but you’re too absorbed in your work to notice it.
A couple of minutes go by, and you still feel his presence, not that you mind, but you’re starting to find it peculiar that he’s been hanging around your desk a lot recently.
“Do you have something to discuss with me, prof?” You ask, eyes still glued to the paper.
“Yes”, he replies, taking another sip from his mug. “What do you think of Choi Jongho?”
Such a random question to ask, you think. Maybe he’s just making sure you and Jongho get along well?
You pause, giving yourself to think, tapping the back of the red pen against your bottom lip, taken aback by Prof Choi’s sudden question, but the conversations you and Jongho had resurfacing into your brain, and a giggle escapes you, which makes Professor Choi subconsciously narrow his eyes and furrow his brows.
“He’s fun to be around, and despite how he looks, he’s actually got a wicked sense of humor. Oh god, wait. Let me tell you what you he did that day while we were having lunch together-“
You turn your head to continue to run your mouth, only to slowly trail off when realise his face is just inches from yours, and you swear your heart is on a treadmill from the lack of distance between you and Prof Choi. It’s as if time paused, the both of you sinking right into each other’s gazes. You can’t help but notice how intense his gaze is, and you can’t seem to decipher his thoughts, but from the way this situation played out, you swore he’d just lean in and kiss you.
Your heartbeat accelerates at the thought—why would he do that?
And when his fingers are on your chin, your rational thoughts are getting flushed out.
“That’s an awful lot of cute things about Choi Jongho. I’ve never heard you talk about another Choi like that.”
You swallow hard, your body still frozen in spot.
“What do you think about him then?”
“Jongho? I was just-“
“No. Choi San.”
Oh god. You could only stare back at him. Prof Choi tilts his head, his eyebrows raised, waiting for his answer. His cologne floats and almost shuts down your senses—has he always smelled this good?
The corner of his lips curl slightly at the way you’re staring at him like a deer in the headlights.
“I t-think Prof-“
“San. Choi San”, he corrects you.
Another hard swallow the more you try to focus your gaze on him.
“I think Choi San’s a great professor. He’s really competent, a lot softer than he presents himself as-“
Fuck you can’t think. Not when he’s staring down your eyes to your lips like that.
“Mmhm.”
“And he’s really so-“
Then a loud knock echoes across the room, breaking the tension. Prof Choi’s body doesn’t shift, but he looks up at the door, shouting “door’s unlocked”, before he stands back upright, adjusting his glasses and walking back to his desk.
Jongho’s head peeks in, then he bows at Prof Choi before he walks to your desk. You stare up at him with a forced smile.
“Ready to go? I was waiting for your message”, Jongho says, his eyes glancing over the professor, then you, a strange feeling that he probably interrupted something.
You nod, while shoving your belongings into your bag, then slinging it on your shoulder.
Barely being able to look at Professor Choi, you still force yourself to, bowing goodbye to him.
“Thank you Prof Choi. See you tomorrow.”
He looks up from his desk, right into your eyes.
“See you too, y/n.”
You can’t help but wonder how far things would have gone if Jongho didn’t knock the door.
Jongho isn’t an idiot. Initially, he assumes that you and the professor were on much friendlier terms considering that you came in before he did. Granted, the workload he would give the both of you was the same, he would take the initiative to have lunch with the both of you both individually and together whenever he had pockets of free time, but what roused his awareness was the lingering glances Professor Choi would cast at you from time to time, the way he seemed to relish the reactions you would give him whenever he teased you.
He notices the way your ears would grow red even when you roll your eyes at the professor and jab him with another playful snarky remark.
Though he wonders how dangerous things could get, Jongho thinks this could get interesting.
The semester continues smoothly, the only change being that Jongho being absent from the office more often due to his other commitment to soccer. You remember him telling you he had quite a big match coming up, the sparkle in his eyes bright and twinkling whenever he talks about said sport.
If he wasn’t in classes, he’d be off for training, hopping into the office from time to time to pass Professor Choi marked scripts and reports. Prof Choi pretty much didn’t mind—he stated as long as Jongho did his job, he could be free to do what he wanted outside of being a teaching assistant.
Needless to say, the office was mostly Prof Choi and you, now even more time spent with him with Jongho mostly being absent. By then, the both of you had grown so accustomed to being in each other’s presence that banters amongst each other became the norm—the both of you competing with each other with unserious remarks, laced with almost flirtatiousness, just to see who would back down first.
Then came the proximity—since Prof Choi would wander over your desk as if he had all the free time in the world, he would somehow strike up another conversation with you, leaning over to hear you better, his arm bumping into yours to look over at the papers you were grading to check if you were doing them correctly. But what he absolutely adores the most is when you’d roll over to his desk to pester him with your questions—sometimes even testing him on his own content.
He likes the way he gets to be closer to you. He likes the way your shoulders touch his when you lean in to push the paper towards him so he can see the script better.
He likes the way you would finally look up and meet his eyes when you’re done formulating your question, waiting to hear his opinion.
Today is no different—Professor Choi being so used to the notion that he would only be seeing you in the office, the corner of his lips pull upwards at the thought of the types of banter you would have with him, the kinds of shenanigans you would bring into the office.
He hears your knock at the time you would always arrive, watching the way the door opens, and your head popping from the door, as you greet, “Hi Prof!”
“Good morning, y/n”, he would greet back, sipping on his morning coffee.
You walk over to his desk, dropping his tuna rice ball. “Here you go. Enjoy your breakfast, Prof!”
“You can stop calling me Prof”, Prof Choi suddenly says, twirling the pen in his hand. For a second, you wonder what triggered the sudden change. You’ve been calling him Prof since day one, pretty much used to it already, the only time you didn’t was when he—never mind. The thought of it is making your face flush again.
“Is there something else you want me to call you?” You ask, trying to calm your heartbeat down when that memory suddenly resurfaces.
“You can call me San. I’m fine with that. I know you’re still my teaching assistant but we’ve been working closely. I think it’s fine to drop the Prof honorific.”
You try out.
“Sure thing San”, you reply. “Though it’s gonna take a while for me to get used to this.”
“If you’re able to cuss in front of me, calling me by my name should be the least of your worries, y/n”, San teases.
You raise your hand, feigning a stance ready to smack him before you lower your arm, listening to the way San laughs before rolling your eyes and sinking into your desk.
The day marches on as normal—attending a class or two with Jongho before he’s whisked away to his soccer practice, leaving just the two of you for the rest of the day.
San is leaning at your desk again, looking at you typing out your report. He squints slightly before he leans down to your shoulder, his finger pointed at one of the paragraphs, asking you about the content. You answer him, and when you turn your head once you’re done, you find yourself looking at San’s side profile mere inches away—his sun-kissed skin, his pretty lashes, his thick, well-trimmed eyebrows, and the way his lips protrude out a little—he always looked like he’s pouting in the most adorable way.
That’s when you realise a problem seemed to be bubbling up to the surface, try as you might to ignore it, repress it—that you’re falling for your professor. Fast.
You snap back to reality, finally aware of how loud your heart is beating against your rib cage, and your hand flies up in instinct as a divider between you and San. San blinks at the sudden movement, confused.
“Y/n, what are you doing?” He’s not moving.
“I think I’ve got something on my face.”
San cocks an eyebrow. “You do? Let me check-“
His palm covers yours, bringing it down to the table, and you’re kicking yourself for sprouting such a self-sabotaging lie.
Why? Because now San has his hand on yours on top of his face in full view of yours, his eyes meeting yours before his gaze flutters around your face, checking for whatever hell you said was on your face.
His gaze meets yours and for a split second, something else glints in his eyes.
The door swings open, and San straightens himself up, slightly irritated at the interruption, leaving you to spin your chair away from San, your hands cupping your cheeks, the heat warming you up against the cold air conditioner. The heat from his hand on yours lingers for a little longer.
Jongho walks in, his duffel slinging on his shoulder with his shoe bag clipped.
“Hey, Prof. Hey cutie.”
San blinks. What did he just call you?
“Hey jjongie. Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” You ask, forcing yourself to focus on your colleague instead.
“Supposedly, yeah, but there was a sudden downpour midway so training got cancelled. Might as well get some work done here”, he shrugs, dropping his bag onto the floor.
San is wrapping his head around the fact that you and Jongho seem to have pet names for each other.
“Didn’t miss me too much right?” Jongho teases. “‘Cause I did!”
“That’s a first coming from you jjongie”, you reply, surprising a smile.
“Of course! It’s been a while, how could I not? We should go eat dinner together sometime.”
San only stares on in silence, pretending to sink back into his grading.
Jongho walks over to your desk, taking his turn to look at your report. San watches the way Jongho’s arm is comfortable over your seat, as he asks you about your report, talking to you as if San wasn’t just behind you seconds before.
The fact you’re entertaining him—hitting his arm playfully and laughing at his remarks—all the more rouses some kind of irritation in San. It’s like a boiling pot.
He pretends he doesn’t see the way Jongho leans in to whisper something into your ear although it’s bugging him so fucking much. For once, he wishes Jongho’s training didn’t cancel.
“Oh right before I forget”, Jongho mutters, rushing back to his desk, digging through his bag. He walks back over with a paper in hand and places it before you. You glance down and your face brightens up—it’s a ticket to his game.
“For real?” You exclaim, your eyes bright, taking the ticket in your hands. “I’ll definitely make time for you.”
“I’ll score goals for you, kay?” Jongho teases, his eyes glancing at San, who is progressively looking more irritated.
“Ah, Is San not going?”
“San? Since when were you on first name basis with him?” Jongho wonders aloud, the suspicion only brewing even more.
“Jongho, don’t you have reports to hand in?” San asks curtly.
You feel like you are caught in between crossfire for some reason.
Jongho smiles, then has your head under his arm, which elicits another irritated reaction from your professor.
You have never had Jongho done this before. In fact, you recall him offhandedly mentioning that he’s never a physical touch person, and that anything with physical touch makes him shudder.
“Relax, Prof. You’d rather your subordinates get along than not right?”
Just when San is about to reply, Jongho suddenly exclaims.
“AH, coach is calling me back to the field. Prof, I’ll send you the report by tomorrow okay? See you guys!”, Jongho hums as he runs back to his desktop to turn it off.
“Has he always been like that?” San wonders aloud, his eyebrows furrowed.
“I guess. It’s actually what makes him cute.”
“Cute? You think Jongho is…cute?”
“Is he not? Doesn’t he remind you of a bear? Big and cuddly.”
San clears his throat, and you watch him walk over to your desk, his hand resting on the tabletop. He leans in.
“So… you find it cute when he gives you pet names?”
“Well, I mean-“
“You find it cute when he plays with your hair?” San curls your locks around his fingers.
You can’t seem to get words to leave your throat.
“You find it cute when he has his hands all over you like that?” He’s leaning in even closer this time, arms trapping you at either side.
“Prof-“
“No. It’s sir.”
Your mind is in a whirlwind at the way he’s towering over you, his scent the only thing filling your olfactory senses, the way he’s staring right into you, gaze sharp as a blade.
“You find it cute when his touches run up your body like this?” His fingers are trailing up your arms, every touch he burns into your skin, and when his thumb pauses at your chin, you realise you’re royally fucked.
Once more, his face is mere inches away from yours. You wonder if you’ll be teased like two previous times before.
“Of course you don’t. You’d rather I do that to you, right?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Yes, sir.”
His voice is barely a whisper, his eyes downcast, staring at your lips like it’s his reward to claim.
“Good girl.”
Of course, he claims it.
His kisses are so greedy—his lips prying yours open, and you feel yourself completely give in to him, surrendering whatever resistance, rationale, repression to Choi San.
You want more—you want seconds. Every swipe his tongue passes your lip, it makes your head float. How does someone taste this fucking good?
He pauses mid-way—barely a couple of seconds, to pull off his glasses and strew them across the desk—then goes back to devouring your lips.
San would smile in between kisses when he hears your whimpers. He thinks you’re so fucking adorable when you tremble slightly at his touch. It all goes straight to his cock.
He thinks you’ll be even more adorable when he ruins you.
When San pulls back, he swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, watching your glazed-out expression with amusement.
"I'd love to continue messing you up, but I have a meeting to attend. I’ll deal with you later, sweetheart. See you next week.”
His touch lingers on your chin for a couple of seconds longer before he pulls away and shifts to walk back to his desk, leaving your heartbeat wild and erratic, and your thighs squeezed tighter.
Since then, that was all you ever thought about—the slight smile before his lips collided with yours, the way his words rang in your ears. You could barely meet his eyes.
In more instances than one and with any chance given to him, he’d close up any physical distance he had with you. Worried that your emotions would bubble and overflow when he does that, you developed a habit of avoiding his eye contact.
Even after classes, you swore he was casting you glances even with lines of students waiting to talk to him.
“Did you piss Prof off or something?” Jongho asks as he shuts his laptop.
“Why are you asking?”
He shrugs. “It’s just that he’s been eyeing you down like a hawk recently. Did something happen between the both of you?”
You freeze when the flashbacks of the taste of his lips return to your memory when you remember how hungry he looked just wanting to devour you.
“Y/n?”
You blink, then force yourself to meet Jongho’s eyes.
“No. Nothing happened. At least I hope I didn’t make any mistakes.”
“You’re fine. There’s a reason why the department chair chose his teaching assistants.”
You laugh softly at his words.
But when you hear San’s voice from behind you, you almost jump.
“Y/n, Jongho, the both of you can wrap up here and head back to the office”, he instructs. You feel his warmth radiating from behind, and it only makes your heart jump at the proximity.
You watch Jongho slowly pack up, small conversations sparking between the both of you about his soccer practice.
You glance at the door. San isn’t back yet.
“I think it’ll take him awhile to be back. The students there seem to really like him.”
No doubt, the female students for this class seemed a lot more assertive, almost always demanding all of San’s time. Well, not that it should matter. It’s not as if he should mean anything-
“Y/n? Are you okay? You seem pretty off recently. Even Prof’s pretty worried”, Jongho’s voice grounding you back to the cold office.
You force a smile and shake your head.
“I’m fine. I guess it’s just so much workload to deal with.”
Jongho places his hand on your shoulder in comfort, “You’re doing fine. You know you can approach either of us if you’re struggling right?”
You feel comforted, even though your messy thoughts weren’t even about the workload, so you return an assured smile before waving Jongho off for his soccer practice.
You’re wondering what you’re feeling nervous about, because when the door of San’s room opens, you jolt slightly.
“You’re still here?” You hear San ask.
“Yeah. Need to reply to some emails and double-check some of their assignments.” Not a total lie. It’s the swirling feelings he’s been giving you whenever that day surfaces in your mind, the small bouts of attention he pays you and the touches he lets linger a little too long that’s all a dopamine rush in you. You can’t help but want more. But in the same breath, meeting his gaze will allude doom for you.
San nods as he sits back at his desk, going right back to his computer. The silence continues for awhile and you’re surprised that you’re even able to concentrate.
“Y/n”, you hear San call you.
Your gaze doesn’t break from your screen. “Hmm?”
“Come here. Help me look at this.”
You walk over, ignoring the way your heart is just pounding so damn loudly. It’s painfully obvious that San is staring right at your face, and it’s also painfully obvious that you’re avoiding looking at him.
And it definitely seems to be ticking him off.
Your eyes stay locked to his screen reading off whatever is on the screen, and nothing is processing in your brain.
“It looks good”, you curtly reply, trying to ignore the fact that you’re being stared down by a certain professor. You turn away, your eyes still not acknowledging San, only for your professor to stop you in your tracks.
“Now where do you think you’re going?”
He’s making you face him now.
You’re still not giving him eye contact.
“Back to my desk?” You say, looking off into the distance. But San seems to have other plans.
“You know ‘looks good’ isn’t the feedback I’m looking for, right?”
Shit. You know that clear as day.
Now San has both his arms trapping you on his desk.
You somehow still manage to avoid his sharp gaze even when you’re backing up against him, easily letting him corner you.
His belongings are strewn all over the desk when he pins you down. By some miracle, only papers flutter down his desk.
And you’re finally looking right at him.
“You’re finally looking at me, y/n”, he states the obvious. “Now tell me, did I do something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t, sir”, you reply curtly.
He leans in closer.
“Then why are you avoiding my eye contact?”
You shut your eyes and squeeze them. There’s no pure way out of this—your dirty thoughts are seeping into the smallest crevices of your brain, and the more San is prodding you, the more it makes you throb.
“It’s because that evening when we…” you feel your cheeks burn with every word leaving your lips.
San is waiting for you to continue.
“When we kissed…couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
“And?”
“It made me want…more.”
There’s a moment of silence.
“Has anyone told you how adorable you are when you’re honest?” He chuckles. “I’m gonna finish what we started sweetheart, like I promised.”
It makes your heart flutter.
“Am I getting your consent for this?”, San’s voice rings in your ears. You’re finding it hard to focus, especially when his thumb is pushing past the corner of your lips, and you’re just growing wet as fuck.
This is not right. This is so dangerous.
“Yes sir”, you reply back, trying to ignore the way your cunt is just tingling from the feeling of San’s thick erection pressing against you.
“That’s my good girl”, he praises before he dives in for a hungry kiss, his fingers roaming around your body, squeezing your tits before he unbuttons your shirt at an agonising pace. He smiles on your lips when he hears your soft gasp, and he presses his lips down to your jaw and then to your neck, sucking and biting the soft skin against your neck, his erection growing tighter against his trousers when he hears you moan and squirm.
When he’s satisfied with the light marks he decorated down your neck, his lips are pressed against your ear, and his hands are moving dangerously close to your cunt, and inevitably, your bottoms are off in seconds, leaving you in your pretty panties.
“I would prefer fucking you on my bed instead for the first time, but taking you on my desk? Maybe not too bad.”
Your cunt squeezes at the sound of San cussing. You never thought he’d sound this fucking hot.
He groans when his fingers press against the soaked patch of fabric hiding your pussy. All that wetness for him. He bunches up the fabric and rubs it against your clit, the friction drawing frustrated whimpers from you, much to his satisfaction. It feels so good but it’s not enough, and it’s driving you crazy.
San’s fingers finally hook against the waistband of your panties, sliding them off your legs, and pocketing them, much to your shock.
And he doesn’t give you much time to focus on that because when he pulls his cock out from his unzipped pants, it makes your head spin from how thick Choi San is.
“Sir, I’m not sure-“
“It’ll fit, sweetheart, like it’s made for me”, is all the warning San gives before he lines up to your hole and pushes his cock in.
You can’t tell what’s fucking you up more—the way his cock is stretching you open or the San groaning in relief when he finally gets to stuff you full.
You bat away your tears, his cock so fucking full inside of you, pressing against your walls, being squeezed so perfectly by you.
God, Choi San thinks he’s in heaven.
His fingers brush across your cheeks, collecting your teardrops. His eyes lack any ounce of empathy.
“Aw, are you crying because it feels good? You look so fucking pretty crying when I’m stretching you open.”
You barely find the words to reply to him, all stuck in your throat, your mind only flooded by the way San’s cock is buried in your cunt, your thighs trembling from the pleasure. It’s almost sickening. You know you shouldn’t be doing this—not with your professor, not on his fucking desk, but when he has you wrapped you around his finger and cock fucking the daylights out of you, it’s a temptation you can never resist.
A soft hiccup escapes past your lips when San pulls out almost all the way, his cock covered in a sheen of slick and precum before he pushes himself in once more, groaning when you clench around him for the nth time.
“You feel so fucking good, sweetheart. God, I could just fuck you all day. You’d like that right?”
You’re barely keeping track, eyes rolled to the back of your head while your thighs twitch from the pleasure, but you manage to hold the eye contact, and through blurry tears, you mutter a weak, “Yes sir”.
“Of course you do”, San hums before he pulls out once more and starts fucking you dumb on his desk.
No matter how much you try to cover your mouth, bite your tongue or your lip, your moans only come out louder in defiance, the dopamine shooting up your pussy over and over again whenever San’s cock hits your pretty spots.
Your mind is addicted to the way San’s shirt is buttoned down his chest, his cleavage almost fully out for you to gawk at, the way strands of his hair cling to his forehead because of the sweat, the way his eyes roll back when he feels you squeeze him with every loud fuck, and the way he looks down to you from time to time before he eats up your pathetic moans with hungry kisses.
He fucked you up so good, you didn’t even realise it until now.
“S-San”, you manage out a whimper, “please…”
“Please what, sweetheart?”
You don’t even know what you’re begging for.
“Please… you feel so fucking good. I’m gonna cum. It’s so fucking good”, you babble, trying to force your eyes open.
San can’t help but smirk when his ego is being stroked so nicely like that, especially by you. He’s a good person, of course, he’ll give what his good girl wants.
His thumb slides south on your body until you feel the ticklish sensation of him on your clit. Cream and precum pooling at the base of his cock makes it even worse for you—with every graze, his finger pressed onto your clit, the knot tightened in your stomach.
Your nonsensical strings of words only push San to tease you more as he endearingly watches you break slowly when your orgasm builds up.
Your body twitches, your back arches, your eyes roll back, white splashes beneath your eyelids. Your orgasm burning through you while you cry out San’s name and you twitch pathetically on his cock, letting your cream leak all over his wet cock.
“Fuck. You’re such a good fucking girl for me, aren’t you?”, you hear San curse. He fucks you through your orgasm, the overstimulation building up. The sensitivity feels so fucking good.
His hand catches your jaw, and he forces you to meet his eyes.
“Wanna pump you full of my cum, keep you so fuckin’ full for days on end,” he huffs, “but not now, sweetheart.”
Not that you minded, but there’s a strange tinge of disappointment ringing at the back of your head.
San thrusts into you a couple more times before he pulls out, his thick and wet cock resting on your pelvis, twitching as his hand takes over.
Nothing can beat Choi San’s fucking face when he cums. He looks like he’s in fucking heaven, and he’s tearing up the sky because of you. His fingers leave light marks on your thighs, you hear him groan at such a low tone that your cunt flutters uselessly against the air. Translucent spurts land on your skin, but it barely registers in you—you’re too busy swooning over the way your Professor just cummed over your body.
San’s high dies down, and he catches his breath, casting you a glance, red dusting his cheeks, before he reaches out for the tissue box to clean you up.
A quick kiss on the lips before he goes on to collect all the papers all over the floor.
That night he drives you home, filling the space with light conversations as if he didn’t just railed you on his desk.
It’s only when you reach home that you realise one important thing—San still has your panties.
You know you shouldn’t be telling secrets to your colleague, especially when it’s about your fucking boss. But here you are, facing Jongho, who has his arms crossed in front of you.
“What’s up with you and Prof?” You predict the words that leave his lips.
You hesitate to tell him, unsure how you should even say it, where to even start.
The worst part you knew clear as day was that nothing changed since that day. You chalked it off as San being swamped with assignments to deal with, that’s why the topic was never brought up again, but something still irked you. The only comfort you had was that the semester was ending, and so was your term as San’s teaching assistant.
Maybe it was how it was meant to be. Just nothing more than that.
But when you realise the dreaded feeling prickling at the back of your eyes, you knew you were fucked.
“I don’t know how to even start jjong”, you sigh. Jongho scrunches his eyebrows.
You watch his expression switch from one to the other. You expected him to freak out at you, yell at you for unprofessionalism or something, but he doesn’t.
“It’s so fucked up. But I just can’t help but wonder if he feels anything”, you mutter. The thought of you not being the only one he’s doing this with makes your stomach churn. But somehow, in the most twisted ways, confiding Jongho made you feel slightly better.
“Well, looks like we’ll have to play that card I guess”, Jongho shrugs. “But you should mentally prepare yourself for the results, that’s all I gotta warn you. I just need your consent to play along.”
It’s a risky bet you’re playing, but drastic times called for drastic measures, right?
As the semester closes to its end, so does the workload. San feels a lot lighter on his shoulders, and while he’s grateful for his teaching assistants for lifting a significant amount of workload off him, the end of a semester meant the end of the working relationship between him and his teaching assistants. He usually doesn’t feel that much, considering he has had many teaching assistants in the past, but for some reason, he feels a sense of discomfort lodged in his stomach when he thinks about having to let them go.
Especially one of them.
He sighs, removing his glasses from his nose and shutting his eyes while reviewing the exams. San feels like a fucking idiot when his eyes land on your empty desk, his frustration bubbling when you cross his mind again.
Even though he pretends to keep himself busy by flooding his mind with work, somehow, you would bubble to the surface once more, pushing him into the pits of frustration when he’s reminded of the way you get a kick arguing and refuting him just to get a reaction out of him, the way you taste like sweetest thing on earth he’s ever tried and the way you completely unravel when San fucks every single thought out of you—
He bites his cheek.
No. He has to keep it professional. At least, until the term is over.
He just doesn’t know how to tell you.
He knows he’s entered deep waters when he crossed the line that evening, the sight of you undone right before him snapping all his rationale. More than anything, he’s suffering the withdrawals, maybe that’s the punishment he has to bear.
He glances at the colourful ticket at the corner of his desk. It’s Jongho’s big game. Even though he usually doesn’t let himself intertwine with his subordinate’s personal interests, it’s hard not to.
In addition, you’ll be there. Maybe he’d snag you after the game and talk to you properly.
The meeting ran overtime, San glances down at his silver watch, realising he’d missed almost thirty minutes of Jongho’s game. Despite the exhaustion, he pushes it aside and heads to the stadium.
He watches the brightly lit scoreboard as he takes a seat on the bench, Jongho’s team is in the lead by one point.
Somehow he gets wrapped up in the game, cheering when Jongho’s team takes championship as the benches all burst into loud cheers too.
He gets up to leave, already thinking of drafting a text to congratulate Jongho in his head, maybe get him a small congratulatory gift on the side.
Then he spots you, just rows below. Now, he’s walking down as if on instinct, to get to where you are.
San pushes past the crowd to approach you. He’ll offer to drive you back—he knows it’s all an excuse but anything to get you into his space once more.
His arm outstretched, reaching out to tap your shoulder, then suddenly stopping when he sees Jongho appear right in front of you. That’s fine. San could just congratulate him at the same time—
Which all of those thoughts immediately disintegrate when he watches Jongho cup your cheeks with his hand, his eyes widening in complete silent horror as Jongho leans into you for a kiss.
You seriously doubt that Jongho’s plan would work. Didn’t San decide not to come anyway? You heard it with your own ears too.
Nonetheless, you pushed it to the back of your mind, focusing on cheering for your friend, watching the leading scorer jump from one team to the next. You couldn’t help but erupt into cheers when Jongho’s team won, screams echoing through the open stadium.
You watch Jongho walk up to the benches where you are, and his arms wrap around you, his smile big and bright, competing with the stadium lights.
“Congratulations, baby bear”, you tease, pushing against his shoulders lightly. Jongho inches close to you.
“He’s behind you by the way”, Jongho mutters, loud enough for you to hear, but not long enough for you to process, because his hands are cupping your jaw, his thumb pressed against your lips.
He hears you muffle some kind of question but your lips stay sealed.
“You owe me one for this,” is the last thing you hear before he leans in. Your eyes widen in shock, and you freeze in your spot, even though his lips don’t meet yours, evidently separated by Jongho’s thumb, his action had caught you off guard.
You barely have the capacity to process what had just happened, and you feel someone’s warmth tightening against your wrist.
Jongho lets go of you immediately, but you’re staring right at your professor, who is staring right at Jongho with an unreadable expression, with his fingers curled tightly against your wrist. It feels like an eternity since you saw him. He’s not wearing glasses today and his hair is down instead of his usual slicked-back look, donned with a simple dress shirt and tie which framed his wide shoulders so perfectly.
“Congratulations on your win, Choi Jongho. I believe you should be with your team to celebrate right?”
Jongho only smirks back. “Right. See you babe. Thank you, Prof. See you next week.”
Jongho casts you a glance, the mischief twinkling in his eyes before he turns his heel down the stairs and back to the field.
What the fuck just happened?
And you find yourself staring up at the male before you, his gaze piercing into yours.
“Prof—San?” You blink. “I thought you weren’t-“
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart. Why would I not want to see the cute relationship my teaching assistants have right?” His voice is laced with venom.
San doesn’t really elaborate further, leading you to his car, sealing your fate once more when the passenger doors close shut.
He’s all over you. His body is burning up, maybe just as fast as yours is, and it’s making you feel dizzy. His moves are aggressive, impatient and you swear you feel something else too—desperation.
“S-San—“ you gasp, in an attempt to take control of something.
“It’s sir to you, sweetheart”, his voice low and gentle, but commanding. Goosebumps scatter across your skin, making you shiver in response when his palms slide up your waist.
You never saw it coming—from the second his hand grabbed yours, pulling you away from Jongho, his eyes locked into yours for a moment before he turns to Jongho, then to the car ride back, where you noticed the way his knuckles turned pale from gripping the steering wheel. On the walk to his car, you asked him where you were going, and all he did was turn to you and reply, “We’ve got things to talk about, don’t we, sweetheart?”
Now you’re becoming undone once more under San’s touches, trapped beneath him like the first time, now at his place, on his fucking couch instead.
“It was just foolish of me to just let it be, wasn’t it?” He asks. “Fucking you dumb on my desk wasn’t a good enough indicator, was it?”
“S-sir…!”
“And you think it’s cute getting all cuddly with Jongho? Letting him kiss you all over, touch you all over?” San mutters, his fingers wrapped around your throat, his grip tightening slightly and you’re sure he’s about to leave light imprints.
But oh, was it so fucking exhilarating—the thought of Choi San riled up like that, a sight you’ve never seen before, and you’re not sure if fear or excitement running through your veins right now, but what you do know, is that if he finds out that your panties are completely soaked through, you’re fucking done for.
His lips collide with yours again, branding himself as some kind of oxygen thief when he’s turning your mind into complete mush.
“I’m not sure if it’s a little game to you sweetheart, but if it is, I think you need a reminder.”
You breathlessly look up at him, and he looks ethereal even when he’s panting and looking pissed as hell.
“What reminder, sir?” You dare ask back.
The side of San’s lips tugs upwards. His hand leaves your throat and trails down your blouse, effortlessly unbuttoning the apparel until he tugs it off you, panting at the sight of your tits hugged by your lace bra. Your bottoms are off again on the floor of his bedroom, alongside any ounce of rationale. Your soaked panties are agonisingly pulled off your legs, and before you know it, his hands spread them open too. It takes all of San’s self-control to not stuff you full. At least, not yet.
“It’s my cock you’re gonna cum all over. Even when you have another guy’s lips on yours, it’s my name you’re gonna fucking scream.”
Oh. Oh god.
The pieces of what Jongho was trying to do suddenly come together, unfortunately, the realisation doesn’t last long because San has his lips greedily on yours again on top of the way his full-blown erection is pressing onto your pussy.
“Sir”, you manage out a weak mutter when he finally pulls away, trying to press and grind against his clothed dick for some friction or anything to rid the burn that’s going through your body. But San remains still.
“Use your words since you love using your mouth so much.” Like kissing Choi Jongho.
Your mind is a complete puddle.
“I really…fuck. I really need you to fuck me right now, sir”, you beg, red flushing your cheeks, but it’s not from the shame. There’s a feral glint in San’s eyes that you don’t miss.
“No”, is all he answers, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach.
“Not until I’ve fucked your mouth full, sweetheart.”
All you can do is watch him speechlessly as he hooks his index finger on the knot of his tie and loosens it, unraveling it back to its original form.
“Hands together”, he commands you, and you do so immediately, basking in the scent of his cologne while he leans into you, his hands tying knots around your wrists with his tie. “Don’t let it loosen, got it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl. Now on your knees.”
You’ve never dropped to your knees so fast.
San forces you to watch him unbutton and lower the fly of his trousers, and you’re just doing your best not to get drool on his expensive carpet.
When his cock springs out, you’re also forced to watch him fuck his palm at a slow pace, drinking in his groans, slick staining your inner thighs, and the fucking floor next if you don’t do anything.
His cock is heavy against your cheek when he taps it there, and your tongue slips out of your mouth by instinct, given experimental kitten licks on his slit, before his fingers catch your chin, and he forces you to look up at him.
“Look at me”, he instructs.
You do. You do your best not to break the eye contact, trying not to be sidetracked by his big fucking cock, but your eyes can’t help but dart to his appendage.
“No, keep your eyes on me”, he redirects once more, his fingers fixing your head in place.
Then he slides his cock into your mouth and pulls out a choked moan from you.
“That’s it. Good girl”, he grunts when you start bobbing your head, fucking his cock with your mouth.
His fingers trail to the back of your head, but he’s using all of his strength not to force your head down.
But as you pick up the momentum, it’s an automatic reaction to push your head down so his cock hits the back of your throat. Your eyes are watering but fuck you feel like you’re in fucking heaven. Your head spins whenever his wet cock is forced down your tight throat, and you break eye contact a few times, which San has to tap your jaw to make you keep eye contact while he fucks your face.
“I’m cumming, sweetheart. Fuck. Keep that pretty little mouth open for me yeah?” He groans, bucking his hips, letting streaks of warm white paint your throat and mouth, watching the way you’re looking up at him with doe eyes, taking his cum in your mouth like a good girl. His good girl.
He smudges his thumb against the corner of your lips before his arms carry you up, only to dump you on the couch.
Your back is on the couch again, hands still tied behind your back and legs up with San pressing his body weight on you.
He props your leg on his shoulder, and he stretches you open inch by inch. You gasp when he fills you up, your walls immediately clenching around him.
“So fuckin tight for me, sweetheart. You take me so well.”
His thrusts are growing more aggressive mixed in with the possession that’s bleeding in and it’s setting your whole body on fire. Your words are caught in your throat when he’s buried into you to the hilt. He groans at the way your pussy is fluttering pathetically against him.
It feels so fucking good that nothing but stars engulf your vision when his cock stuffs you full to the hilt again. His name leaves your lips like a mantra on top of broken moans and whimpers, and it only makes San fill up the space in your pussy all the more better.
His shoulders are so wide that he’s towering over you, his fingers forcing you to face him whenever you’re drifting because of the pleasure, his eyes feral when you look so fucked out for him. And when he combines his heavy thrusts with a squeeze around your throat, it makes your mind shut off and your cunt cream all over his dick.
“Good girl, looking all so fucked out for me.”
His cock is hitting all the perfect spots, and it’s driving you insane with the knot tightening in your stomach at such a fast pace. You think you’re sliding off the couch but San isn’t letting you—especially not when his thrusts are keeping you on the couch. His name continues to leave your lips in broken moans every time he fucks you.
San snakes his fingers to your scalp and he tugs sharply, enough to force you to look up at him. You’re tearing up again, and it feels so fucking good with the way he’s keeping your hair tugged while he fucks the ever-loving shit out of you.
“My name does sound much better when you’re crying it doesn’t it, sweetheart?”
You choke back a moan when he hits your g-spot once more.
“Y-yes sir.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Full. So full sir. Want more. Please. Need you to ruin me”, you beg once more, your mind floating in an endless euphoria.
“Oh, I definitely will”, San hums, watching in sheer pleasure as your eyes roll back when his cockhead presses perfectly against your g-spot over and over.
Before you realise it, your orgasm hits you like fucking train, spreading through your body like a fucking wildfire, engulfing every crevice of your body.
He’s gonna break you, and you’re fucking loving it.
“San-“, you cry out, not registering the way he’s wiping the tears off your eyes. “So good. You feel so good. Cumming so much-“
“I know, sweetheart. It feels so fucking good doesn’t it?” He asks with a smile, satisfied when you nod frantically while he rubs your thighs.
Your thighs are shaking from how good this all feels, cream staining your inner thighs and his cock when he pulls out.
“I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart”, San reminds you.
He turns you over, keeping one hand on your tied hands, while the other pressing your head against the back of the couch. He lines his cock back to your cunt, pushing into your hole once more. You choke on your moans again, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes until he’s fully seated in you once more.
The sounds are even wetter now, especially when you’re overstimulated, pussy just being so perfectly abused by Choi San. You fucking love the way his hands are around your neck, forcing you against the cushions when he fucks you dumb from the back.
Your stomach is in knots once more, the feeling building up faster than the previous time, and all you can mutter is that it feels so good. San thinks you’re so fucking adorable when you’re not having banters with him and being this cock drunk for him.
Then he pulls you off the couch, letting you catch a breath before he sits you on his lap, his cock still buried in your cunt, and starts bouncing you off his cock from below.
He alternates between melting your brain with his pornographic moans right at your ear and planting more love bites down your jaw.
“Gonna cum again. You feel so fucking good in me. Oh god”, you hiccup through your tears, the sensitivity pushing your limit.
“Cum as hard as you want, sweetheart. I’ll let you milk me dry, fill you up so fucking good that you’ll be leaking with my cum for the next two days.”
That was enough to set you off. Your pussy convulses when your second orgasm hits, fireworks bursting in your eyelids, long drawn-out cries while San fills your tight cunt with his warm and thick cum, while his groans fill up in your ears. You feel his fingers massaging your thighs, coaxing you from your high.
You’re dizzy, and light-headed as your head slumps against his shoulders, too spent to acknowledge the male behind you leaving more marks down your neck.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, sweetheart,” San breaks the momentary silence, well aware that his softening cock is still in you.
Your hand flies up to his chest to stop him, even though you’re still recovering from seeing stars.
“We need to talk-“
“After we clean up”, he cuts you off, lifting you off his cock and carrying you bridal style to his bathroom.
But you’re stubborn.
“N-no. It wasn’t what you thought it was”, you say, feeling your tears well up in your eyes on top of the weight.
The prickles are starting to form at the bottom of San’s heart, but he’s more focused on trying to hose you down with warm water. But he’s listening you run your mouth, not that he minded.
“We didn’t kiss”, you reiterate.
Now he’s just confused. He stares at you.
“We just had sex, y/n”, San reminds you, trying not to let the red reach his cheeks.
“No—I mean Jongho and I. We didn’t kiss”, you clarify.
San doesn’t really know if he should believe your words or his eyes, but now he’s focused on lathering your hair and body.
“That wasn’t what I saw”, he replies, avoiding eye contact.
“That’s cause we did this-“ you huff, turning his head to face you, imitating the way Jongho had slid his thumb between your lips and his, demonstrating San the fake kiss.
San only stares at you wordlessly when you pull back, only more questions than answers.
“But why would he do that for?”
“He was trying to rile you up.”
“For what?”
“To see if you felt anything for me?”
“By kissing you?”
Oh god. It felt like the more you explained, the more San was getting the wrong ideas. You let your head sit in your hands, unsure if it’s from the embarrassment or the fact that you don’t even know where to start.
“It wasn’t a kiss, Choi San”, you groaned, your hands leaving your face, suddenly self-conscious that San is staring intently at you. “After we, um, fucked the first time, you acted like nothing happened, and I felt like shit about it, and I told Jongho and then…” you trail off, feeling your cheeks heat up again. It’s probably the hot water, at least that’s what you try to convince yourself with.
“I don’t kiss people I’m not in love with, San”, you sigh in defeat. Your eyes are downcast, but you feel his fingers cup your cheeks, and his lips press onto yours. You swear you could go another round again.
The silence hangs in the air for a while, only the sounds of the shower filling the emptiness when he pulls back.
“I didn’t do anything since after that evening because I wanted to properly tell you after the term ended.”
“Tell me what?”
“That I’m in love with you, too.”
You blink. Somehow that shocked you more than the both times he fucked your brains out.
You don’t answer him because your head is just swarming with so many thoughts, and San lets you do so, satisfied that he’s finally have you quieten down so he can finish washing you up.
Even when he’s dressed you in his oversized hoodie, San peppers you with kisses, basking in the way you sometimes cover his face with your hands to stop him, which only rouses him to continue to attack you with his lips.
San’s arms are tight around you when the both of you are finally on his bed. You smell like his favourite body soap and he can’t seem to get enough of it—nuzzling against the crook of your neck, muttering sweet nothings. You think this is probably your favourite version of Professor Choi.
Your fingers twirl around his splayed-out locks, and you speak.
“Prof Choi”, you tease, and San looks up, and it’s the first time you actually see him pout—it almost makes you combust.
“I told you to stop calling me that”, he frowns, burying his face, feigning trying to cut off physical contact from you, which only makes you laugh in response.
“I just wanted to disturb you”, you respond, trying to yank him back into your arms. “I do have a question though.”
His head pops up from his pillows and he stares at you, waiting for you to speak.
“When did you realise you had feelings for me?”
He pauses, giving himself a couple of minutes to think.
“The moment I received your teaching assistant application.”
<divider>
📚 Bonus Epilogue 📚
“Prof Choi!” One of his teaching assistants calls out to him.
He turns his head and attention to her, pushing up his glasses.
“Yes?”
“I need help with this part of the assignment. Could you help me check that I’ve marked it correctly?”
San nods, taking the papers from her.
As he scans through her work, the teaching assistant’s eyes glance down at the band hugging his ring finger.
“Prof, you’re married?”
San pauses his writing to glance at the glistening gold on his finger, and a small smile spreads across his cheeks.
“You know, I used to wear a ring on my ring finger so students would stop asking me if I was married or not.”
She raises her eyebrows, her curiosity piqued. “So you’re not?”
“I am.”
Her eyes brighten, invested in her handsome professor’s love story.
“Tell me more then”, she asks.
San scoffs playfully, turning his gaze to her.
“All I can tell you is that she’s always been my favourite.”
summary: after you put your baby to sleep and head to bed yourself, you come to the discovery that your dear husband just hit his rut and desperately wants to put another baby in you.
w.c: 2.6k
warnings: needy pussydrunk maniac! san, service sub! reader, they’re giving switch energy as well <3, san gets lost in subspace, big cawk sannie, only pet names/praise (baby, mama/mommy (only a few times trust), sweetheart, princess), san likes to be called kitty, san humps reader’s pillow out of desperation, kissing, wet and messy, possessiveness, grinding, nipple play (f/m receiving), lactation kink (muahahahaha), face sitting that turns into a 69, oral (f/m receiving), good ol fashioned unprotected missionary, heavy breeding kink, bulge kink, knotting, creampie, just so, so much cum……
a/n: i did a poll a lil while back to ask what vibe everyone wanted for sannie’s bday fic and soft, sweet love making with husband sannie won by a landslide ~~ but ofc i had to add my lil spin to it make him a hybrid husband in heat hehe <33 i wrote this all in one go just rn bc i’m a ✨chronic procrastinator✨ so i had less time to perfect it but i hope it’s just as enjoyable as my other fics 🥹🫶🏼 that being said, enjoy lovelies~
song rec: same dream, same mind, same night by svt (this is a love making song and you cannot convince me otherwise 🙂↕️) - sex on fire by kings of leon - terrible love by boston manor (“tell me i’m everything you want~ tell me you need me~ give it everything you’ve got, so give it all~” <33)
“Hush, little baby, don’t you cry, mama’s gonna sing you a lullaby,” you cooed gently in a sing-song voice to the sweet angel laying still inside her crib, continuing your soft serenade until her eyes closed, surrendering to another night of much needed rest after a long day of adventure and learning, her tiny fingers slowly releasing the grip they had on one of yours, her tiny fluffy tail uncurling from your wrist. When you saw that your babygirl had fallen asleep, you gave her a loving kiss on the forehead, before exiting the bedroom and heading to your own.
It had taken a fair amount of time to get your baby to go to sleep, making you wonder if your husband had fallen asleep himself while he was waiting for you to come back. He must’ve been tired, especially after how worked up he was during the day, zooming around the house to get chores done despite there not being a rush, not even giving you the opportunity to make dinner either when he put his signature ‘kiss the cat’ apron on, and somehow still having the energy to run a few miles on his treadmill afterwards, claiming he still had the zoomies.
As soon as you cracked open the door, you could hear whimpering and soft, breathy panting coming from deeper inside the low lit room, a few candles burning away on your respective nightstands. Poor, sweet Sannie was probably having a nightmare of some sort. You would have to wake him.
“Baby, nnngh, need you, need you so bad, wanna be inside you, need to give you more kitties,” San voiced desperately to no one, hunched over and driving his heavy, leaking cock back and forth across the plush, pre-cum stained pillow that was kept on your side of the bed, his sweaty raven bangs sticking to his forehead, his tufted ears splayed out in opposite directions. He lowered his head further to take in your warm, flowery scent, letting out an instinctive growl and bucking his hips forward until he began to emit little breathy ‘ah, ah, ah’s’. He slowly dragged his throbbing cock along the feathered pillow, leaving thick, milky cum shots onto the previously pristine material. “Cummingggg, filling you up so deep, mama, it won’t stop….”
Well, it seems like you wouldn’t have to wake him. Your husband was already wide awake and seemingly trying to impregnate your pillow. You entered the room and closed the door behind you, causing San to look up at you with big boba eyes, his ears now on high alert, sheepishness overtaking his blushing features and a gentle, understanding one forming on yours. “Oh, my sweet Sannie, is this why you were so active today? Are you in a rut?”
San tried to cover up the evidence he left all over your pillow, his long fluffy tail curling shyly around one of his bare legs, his stained briefs riding up a bit near his inner thighs. “I-i didn’t wanna tell you because it’s hard for me to control myself when I’m like this…I can only think of one thing…”
You took a few steps forward until you were standing at the foot of the bed, hovering over San, your hands already making their way to his overheated face to caress it. “And what is that, kitty?”
San just about melted into your touch, his hot breath fanning over your skin when he sighed, gazing up at you past his fluttering lashes. “Breeding my beautiful wife…” he whispered softly, turning his head to press a lingering kiss into the palm of your hand. “I want to make love to you….feel and taste every single inch of you…remind you why you’re mine…” He whimpered, closing his eyes for a second, before they returned to you, his eyebrows upturned with desperation, his glistening lips parted every so slightly. “I’m burning up just thinking about it…”
You leaned down to press a gentle kiss onto his forehead, then his cheek, leaving one on his trembling lips afterwards. “Then, what are you waiting for, Sannie? Let’s play.”
-
“Baby, your pretty kitty, mmmnn, feels so good,” San panted, breaking the heated, messy kiss you were sharing to moan from the way you were eagerly grinding yourself on his lap, his hardened cock pressing up directly into your slippery, hot cunt, a bit of drool escaping his lips, only for you to lap it up from his chin, before your tongue repeatedly swirled around his. “Wanna knot you…”
“Not yet, Sannie….wanna have more fun with you first…” When San began to whimper and squirm around, you reached past his head to grab onto the headboard with both hands, pressing your forehead to his to keep him locked in on you. “You wanna feel me all over, yeah?” You moved your hips in a more precise motion, the pronounced edge of his cockhead catching onto your clit each time your cunt dragged up and down his length, making the both of you let out a collective moan. You lifted up your body a bit so that your heavy tits were bouncing ever so slightly in his face, watching as your husband fell into a trance. “Wanna taste me too, don’t you, baby?”
“Yes, mama, wan’ it all,” San nodded drunkenly, repeatedly licking at his lips and fangs, bringing his hands up to your tits to feel the weight of them, squeezing into them slightly, his tail quickly slamming against the side of the bed as though he were a dog. He knew they were filled with milk, and it drove him absolutely nuts.
How adorable. Your kitten was too predictable. You pressed your tits together, holding them near his pretty blushing face. “Does kitty need milk?”
“Yes, please!” San opened his mouth up just in time for you to press your chest into his face, his lips closing around one of your nipples, licking and sucking at it until he began to taste the sweet essence of your milk. Deep purrs reverberated from his chest and throat, clearly content, letting go of one tit to focus on the other, pinching your nipple to watch as your milk spurted out of it and landed on his small pink tongue.
“Nnngh, that’s good, baby…” Humming, you ran your fingers through your husband’s soft hair as he gently coaxed more of the milkiness out of your tits one by one, eventually reaching down to rub your thumbs over his nipples, rolling them in circles until he began to let out muffled moans and whimpers. “Sannie’s so sensitive, hm? Even more sensitive now that he’s in a rut…so desperate for Mommy’s kitty.”
San gulped your sweetness down, a few drops dribbling down his chest, before he gasped at the sensation of you pinching his sensitive buds. “Y-yes, Sannie wants to be inside mama so bad….” He nibbled on one of your puffy nipples, dragging his rough tongue over it just to hear you whine, looking up at you to take in your suddenly submissive gaze. “My pretty girl’s sensitive too, I take it.”
“Always, because of that tongue of yours…” you murmured, digging your nails into the headboard when he forcefully pushed your tits together and ran his tongue back and forth over your nipples, biting them with his fangs for good measure.
“S-sannie…!”
When San felt a fresh wave of slick leak out onto his lap, his eyes started to narrow into slits, his instinctive urge to dominate you beginning to slip past the surface of his hazy mind. “So wet for me, aren’t you, sweetheart? It’s all going to waste too….Such a shame…”
“Wanna lick it up, kitty?” you asked sweetly, bringing your lips down to his, tasting the sweetness of your milk on his moving tongue.
“Mm. Sit on my face, princess,” he commanded in a slightly deeper tone, waiting for you to climb off of him so that he could lower himself down onto the bed. Just as you faced away from him and lifted your leg up to go over him, San grabbed you by your soft hips and pulled you down onto his face, immediately getting to work.
San dipped his tongue between your slick lips and dragged it up, painfully slow at first, so that he could savor your warm taste, licking a long stripe toward and then over your clit. He repeated this action until all that could be heard in the room was his wet tongue coming in contact with your soaking cunt, along with the groans he was letting out with each lick. Opening his eyes to admire your pretty plush pussy, he pressed a kiss onto your bud, before sucking on it with varying degrees of intensity, reveling in the way his pretty wife moaned desperately for more. “That’s it, huh, babygirl? Your pussy’s getting so messy, you must be getting close already….”
“F-fuck, yes, I’m close…don’t stop, Sannie,” you sighed out, suddenly distracted by the sight of your husband’s throbbing cock standing at full attention between his thighs. Licking at your lips, you carefully lowered yourself down until you could slurp and suck the pre-cum that pooled out of his reddened cockhead with ease, opening your mouth wide enough to take most of his cock down your throat inch by inch.
“Oh my god, baby, I won’t last if you do that….” San tossed his head back for a second, temporarily losing himself to the pleasure of having his cock buried inside the hot, wet heaven of your mouth and throat, moaning hoarsely all the while. Feeling more of your slick drip onto his heated skin, he remembered about his current mission. Once his tongue returned to your dripping slit, you started to rock your hips in time with San’s lips, your clit even bumping against your husband’s nose, your thighs beginning to tremble.
You took San’s cock down your throat as deep as it would go, using your spilling saliva to jerk off the rest of his length that you couldn’t reach with your mouth, hearing his begin to emit muffled whimpers and curses against your pulsing cunt, feeling his thighs tighten up underneath your touch.
You continued to move in sync, your hips now desperately rocking against San’s splayed out tongue, your moans playing a hypnotic rhythm. You always seemed to fall into this matching pattern of giving and receiving, losing yourselves in each other’s love and pleasure. Just as you began to squirm around, San’s hands slippped from your thighs when they were squeezing to your waist, wrapping them tightly around your middle to keep you still as your release poured out onto his tongue.
“Sannieeee, so good, so good, gonna cum,” you whined out once you pulled yourself off of his cock, your lips connected to the sticky tip with a few strands of milky saliva.
“Me too, baby, me too. Fuck, take it for me, okay? Be good and take it all,” San moaned against your convulsing cunt, lapping up the rest of your arousal, just as he began to shudder, forcefully tossing his head back into his pillow.
You caught the seemingly endless stream of cum on your tongue, some of it shooting into the back of your throat. You swallowed it all without hesitation, before climbing off of him and leaning down to press your lips onto his.
He eagerly kissed you back, gently lowering you down onto the mattress so that he could climb on top of you, the both of you desperately exchanging your warm arousal with one another, only breaking the dizzying kiss when neither of you could take a proper breath. “I love you, Y/N…” he whispered near your cheek.
“I love you too, San…”
Gazing deeply into your half-lidded eyes, San gently lowered his body weight onto you, not having to ask to know what you both needed when he positioned himself near your entrance and slipped right in, the both of you moaning in unison.
“Ready for my litter, baby? I’m gonna fill you up over and over, okay? I won’t stop until you tell me to…” Saliva pooled in San’s mouth as a low, deep purr rumbled inside his chest. Part human or not, your husband’s cat-like traits still made themselves present when he was sheathed inside you like this, especially now that he was in a rut.
“Yes, give it all to me, Sannie, I want your kitties,” you begged breathlessly, hardly able to think now that you were getting stretched out by your husband’s thick length, your legs hooking around his small waist once he began to recklessly drill himself into you.
“I’ll give it all to you, baby, have it all, have all of me.” Huffing and puffing, San pounded his cock into you, slipping out a few times due to how incredibly wet you were, taking the time to slap his cock down onto your abdomen, just to show the both of you how his length just about reached your ribs, watching you swallow hard, your hazy, tear filled eyes sparkling with anticipation.
“I can take it, Sannie. I can, I promise,” you reminded him gently, just as he slipped back inside you, pounding your pussy as if he had never stopped.
“Yes, you can, you’re gonna take it all, because you’re mine, mine, mine,” San groaned out near your ear like a mantra, his heavy body flush against yours, your legs hanging off of his broad shoulders, slamming his cock into you like you were just a toy, your cunt taking it like you were made specifically for him, his tail wrapped tightly around one of your ankles, almost acting as an anchor to keep the both of you from slipping out of reality.
“Yours, yours, yours…” you chanted back, your nails starting to dig and rake down his back, starting to fade away once your high rapidly took over. “Sannieeee, give me your knot, please…”
Almost as if on command, San’s knot began to form inside your cunt, stretching you out to the max. He pulled back slightly so that he could press his hands into your abdomen, feeling just how thick and heavy his cock was inside of you. “That’s my good girl…Look at you….my pretty little wife, taking all of my knot like this. It’s gonna break and your womb’s gonna be flooded with my cum, you know…You wanna get knocked up again for me, baby?”
“Mm-hmm!”
He nosed at your neck, taking in your pretty scent, whispering, “Help me breed you, baby.”
“Breed me, kitty….Make me yours forever…” You clutched your hands into his waist and pulled his hips taut to yours, your cunt clenching around his cock just as San melted into you, whispering countless promises of love, mixed with involuntary curses into your ear, the dam finally breaking.
A short, broken cry tore out of your throat as you squirted onto San’s twitching cock, endless waves of hot cum pouring out past your cervix and filling your womb up with his potent seed, rendering you vulnerable to the very real possibility of impregnation by your dear hybrid husband. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
Purring, San pulled you into his arms and began to lick at the tears that had stained your flushed cheeks, grooming you in his own special way. He nuzzled into you, his tail coiling protectively around one of your wrists, his lips ghosting along your jaw, one of his twitching ears tickling your own. “We’ll have to paint our baby girl’s room half blue if we end up having a boy.”
You giggled, nuzzling into your husband’s loving touch. “Bold of you to assume we won’t have another girl.”
San smiled at you, his brown eyes sparkling with love and adoration for you. “That’s fine. I’m a girl dad, after all.”
☆ Warning: nudity, smut, blood, mentions of war and threats to kill someone
☆ Word count: 6.9k
☆ Rating: nsfw
☆ Genre: Greek mythology, San is Ares, forbidden love
☆ Summary: You knew that your love would never be fulfilled as the man you loved belonged to another woman. But can you help your poor Naiad heart when San, the God of war himself, seeks you out again and again when he is most vulnerable?
☆ A/N: Hi, lovelies!^^ I totally didn't write this piece in one sitting, naaah, yes I did. I hope it's good and enjoyable as I have my doubts with it I was so hyped up but anyways. I appreciate all your feedback, it is very welcomed, so let me know what you thought of it! If you'd like to join the taglist of the series let me know! I'll point out a few things before you start reading the story:
★ This is inspired by Greek mythology, but I took creative liberty and adapted it to my likes, so keep that in mind while reading, thank you!
★ Ares is the God of war
★ Artemis is the Goddess of hunt
★ A Naiad Nymph is a female spirit that preside in fresh water
★ Aphrodite is the Goddess of love
★ Hermes is the messenger of Gods
★ Iris is the goddess of rainbow but was also considered messenger of Gods
★ Atë is the goddess of mischief
★ Dion is a village and municipal unit in the municipality of Dion-Olympos in the Pieria regional unit, Greece; it's known for its sanctuary of Zeus and its ancient city (it's so beautiful over there guys, if you get the chance, you should definitely visit the village, and Mount Olympus too!!) divider
On the outskirts of the ancient city called Dion, just by the foot of Mount Olympus an enchanted forest vivid with Nymphs of all kinds encompassed the land, offering a much-needed sanctuary and protection to those who were in need of tranquility and a piece of quiet, away from all mortals, and even Gods that had their watchful eyes on everyone and everything at all times. The small Lake of Naia, springing from the top of Mount Olympus, rushing down rapidly the rocky side of the mountain only until it became merely a gentle stream was the place I referred to as my home. It wasn’t just my home, it was the home of many Naiad nymphs that have been birthed and then raised on the shores of Lake Naia by their elderly sisters, naiads that have been here for centuries, having witnessed atrocities, but so many beautiful life-changing events as well. We were fond of this place, and we protect it ardently. No foul soul was allowed in the vicinity of our sacred Lake, Artemis herself having blessed our sanctuary.
Men who were desperate for enlightenment, or were feeling lonely, would often find solace in our presence, grateful for an eternity to us, making promises, which, due to their fragile lives would never be completely fulfilled. But that was alright, my sisters and I never expected too much from them as long as they honored and cherished our land, our Lake, our home. After all, mere mortals wouldn’t be able to offer us what the Olympian Gods could. Warm bodies and warm souls that we could often lay upon our hardships, our fears, and our future ambitions. I have never stepped too far away from my home, walking barely a few feet away from the Lake would make me feel restless and unnerved, unsafe and exposed to the not so kind men that liked to haunt and torment us when the Gods weren’t on the look out for their dear naiads.
Besides Artemis, not many came often to Lake Naia, its location too close to Olympus and yet too far from Dion for the Gods that were rather lazy, like Apollo. Zeus always had his eyes on his children and kin, however, if they travelled far away enough from Olympus, he’d certainly turn a blind eye to whatever shenanigans they deemed fit on their travels on Earth, disguised as something they were not. Even Artemis liked to change her features when she came down to bless our Lake and show gratefulness for guiding and protecting the maidens through their hardships, however, there was one God that never bothered to hide his true self. All bloody and gory and authentic, brute yet hands gentle as if they were afraid to bruise those innocent, eyes sharp and menacing upon first glance, yet warm and intense on a second glance. The mortals liked calling him Ares, but I preferred his birth name, the one Zeus had given him, San.
San had always been a gruff and intimidating man, as the God of war, he was strong and vigilant, quick on his feet and cutting with his words. Very few naiads had the courage to approach him, scared he’d hurt them if they displeased him in any way, and so, the task of looking out for him whenever he visited Lake Naia fell on my hands. And despite the stories that I have heard about the fearless man, I couldn’t bring myself to find him terrifying or mal-intentioned, not when his lips quivered when he whispered the names of those fallen in battle, not when tears would escape his beautiful eyes before he’d submerge in the crystal-clear water of Lake Naia, desperate to rid himself of all the blood, suffering, and screams of those that have perished underneath the sharp blade of his sword. San was a man with a delicate and soft soul, yearning for a connection that was simple, a connection in which he didn’t have to explain himself nor feel guilty, a connection where one simply listened to his burdens and coaxed him further inside the warm and tranquil waters of Lake Naia.
Being immortals, it’s been too long and I wouldn’t be exactly able to pinpoint the time and date of when San decided that he’d choose Lake Naia as his piece of heaven and peace after a long and exhausting battle, but ever since then, his visits became more and more frequent. Perhaps it was due to the rising tension between the settlements as the mortals were never quite thankful with what they’ve got, so, they challenged each other to a war that only lead to disaster and suffering, dividing families and scarring individuals for a lifetime. And despite the real reason as to why San was here should have saddened me, as a protector of maidens that have fallen victim in these wars, I only found my heart gleeful and quickly beating the more often he showed up. There was something majestic, captivating and divine about San, and my poor Naiad heart stood no chance against a man whose walls crumbled the second his armor was off his body.
Times were dire, nature had a way of silently absorbing everything the mortals felt. And as part of nature myself, I found myself quite volatile lately. Even the quietest snap of a twig sent us back deeper inside the lake, ready to submerge and watch from underneath whatever fool decided to approach our sacred place. My sisters grew restless and they refused to step out of Lake Naia, whispers of the forest surrounding us carrying word that a war not too far from our home was brewing as the military forces of two settlements failed to see eye to eye. Artemis visited more often than before, blessing our humble abode and promising a new location that would be even safer if the events would turn grimmer, but my sisters and I refused to flee. This is our one and only home, the only place that we’ve known since eternity, since the cosmos has birthed us, and if it came to it, we’d rather perish with this place than abandon it and leave those who love it as much as us behind. Artemis did not like our refusal, but her word couldn’t go against our eldest sister’s, and once we’ve put our hearts to something, we rarely changed our minds.
Due to the sun hiding behind the clouds, the Lake failed to stay as warm as usual, but our songs kept it idle for a quick dip. My sisters have disappeared somewhere deep-down underneath, their absence coating the surroundings in a serene silence, perhaps a little bit even eerie. I knew what this meant as I lurked just above the surface, eyes set on the steadily approaching figure. Its outline was harsh and looked to be almost vibrating as his heavy footsteps echoed in the silent forest, the animals just as reluctant as my sisters to be in the vicinity of the God. Pushing my head above water, I took a deep breath and slowly swum towards the shore, the soft water clinging to my skin like a second skin. The sword that was gripped in the God’s hand glinted in the light, despite the sun being hidden, and it left a red path in its wake as he came closer to the Lake. Something salty and nauseating hit my nose as my feet touched the fine soil of the Lake, the water up to my neck as the sword slipped from the God’s hand, clanking loudly against the grey stones that littered the path that led towards Lake Naia. Heath flooded my body, and it wasn’t from the Lake as I walked further out, water below my chest, it was from the God’s body heath as red veins swirled underneath his pristine and tan skin as his arms were left exposed. The miniscule cut on his right bicep was the first thing that caught my eyes as the water of the Lake finally reached my ankles, white dress heavily clinging to my body and failing to hide anything as my black hair looked almost molded to my back as it wetly stuck to it. A soft exhale and the deep furrow of his dark eyebrows was the first sign that my God felt exhausted as we came to stand face to face, his body tense and vibrating with the remnants of adrenaline, meanwhile mine felt lax and tingly as I bowed my head, curtsying.
“San, my possessor.” I didn’t need to speak loudly, there were no sounds around us, just San’s breaths coming out in short puffs, chest rising and falling rapidly underneath his black steel armor. The stench of death would make anyone run away, but as I raised my head up and laid my eyes upon my possessor’s face again, I could only feel pity seeing the regret and exhaustion whirling together in his sharp eyes, clouding his mind and I could almost hear his thoughts.
“Y/N, my nymph.” And the God’s voice that roars and shatters in a battle was now shaky and soft, warm to the point that it made my heart beat faster, “I have missed you dearly.”
I didn’t dare smile as I extended my right hand, eyes stuck to the swipe of dark blood underneath his right eye, trailing down to leave the impression of a bloody tear. I swiped at it with my thumb, and San’s eyes closed as he gulped, sighing loudly.
“Let me take away your burdens.” I whispered as I stepped closer, the heath almost devouring me as the red veins seemed even more alight underneath his tan and soft skin, heart beating out of the God’s chest as his eyes slowly opened, black eyelashes fluttering as they settled on my face.
“Please.” A God never pleaded, never fell to their knees in front of anyone. A God was strong and fearless, ready to devour anyone who dared disobey their command. I offered San a small smile as I leaned forward, lips parting just slightly before they made contact with the cut on San’s bicep, a whimper leaving the man’s lips upon the contact. And his eyes were glazed over as I pulled back, the taste of salt tangible on my tongue as I caressed his now healed bicep. San knew what to do, and with a deep breath he fell to his knees, hanging his head low as my hands caressed his cheeks before his jaw, settling around his neck. His skin was hot, flaming almost, gushing with life underneath all that heavy muscle and flesh, desperate for a gentle and understanding touch. I allowed my hands to travel lower, onto his shoulders, nimble fingers unclasping the harsh steel from around his defined shoulders. A pause, another sigh, and San stood tall once again, a calloused hand settling on my hip as he oh so gently pulled my body closer, my fingers itching the more blood they touched, which was now rusted onto his armor, the same armor that Hephaestus had designed for him upon the request of Zeus so that it would make San, his bellowed son, invincible. San’s sharp, but softening, eyes remained on my face as my hands first went around his middle, leaning my fragile body against his. It was sturdy, unmovable like a mountain, but it was also warm and gentle, a quiet promise that it would keep you safe from any evil. San’s fingers twitched before they dug into my hip, his armor sharp and cold against my own body, but I welcomed its closeness as San seemed to melt into the embrace, his tense muscles finally easing up at last. He could finally be vulnerable, bloody or not, in my eyes he was perfect and benevolent.
“Your battle must have been strenuous.” I spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence, as I gently peeled myself back from the embrace, fingers latching onto the clasps at the God’s middle, undoing them and letting the bloody armor fall to the ground, looking like it’s been broken in two. But it wasn’t, it was unbreakable just like its possessor.
“I have not had the opportunity to close my eyes for six days as of today.” His deep voice lost all the malice it usually carried, and my eyes remained focused on the dents and marks the armor has left on the poor God’s sun-kissed skin. My warm fingertips gently traced against them, the muscles flexing underneath them as the God hummed in content, both hands holding firmly onto my hips. I smiled as he leaned forward and gently rested his chin on top of my head, allowing me to trace the scars left by his ruthless armor, knowing that they’d disappear if I touched them. I closed my eyes as my fingertips reached them hem of his trousers, which weren’t made of steel but were magically enhanced so that there wouldn’t be a repeat of Achilles, and I leaned just a little bit forward to press kisses tracing his collarbones. The sighs the God let out were of pleasure and he hummed in appreciation as I untangled the knots of his trouser and gently pushed them down his hips, caressing his loins firmly as San groaned, nails digging through the thin fabric of my white translucent dress.
“Then we shall get inside the Lake.” I proposed and San hummed in agreement, grip not faltering as I stepped back to steer us inside the water. When our eyes found each other again, his were ablaze with want and need, but he knew he had to wait until we got inside the water. And so, he reluctantly released me and eagerly took my extended hand as I interlaced our fingers, a small and charming smile appearing on his face for the first time today. I chuckled and lead us back to the water, walking backwards as the smile only seemed to stretch on San’s lips, red veins ablaze and whole being glimmering in the light of the small clearing the Lake resided in, the clouds slowly uncovering the blazing sun as the weather reached my thighs, San’s body convulsing as it was overheated from the battle and the Lake would cool it down. I walked further inside, my body welcoming the familiar feel of the soft water brushing against myself, like a cocoon forming a protecting layer over it, my own armor.
San’s body shook when it was finally submerged, underwater, and I released his hand as I giggled and took a deep breath, to tease him, and dipped my head underwater. I opened my eyes and grinned as his legs kicked out to stay above water, never having been keen of having his head under the clear water of the Lake. His naked body looked almost translucent underwater and I swum around it, playfully nipping at the skin of his back, thighs, abdomen, calves, and chest, my teasing cut short when a strong hand seized me around the neck and yanked me above water, dark brown eyes coated with lust and cheeks flushed as our bodies pressed together, legs wrapping around his middle subconsciously.
“Rest now, my San.” I whispered, eyes fluttering shut as his hot breath fanned my face, heart thundering underneath the hand pressed against his chest.
“I’ll bring you a star on our next rendezvous.” His words were rushed, almost desperate before hot lips pressed against mine, devouring them with fervor, with desperation and a neediness that I fear will never be satiated.
The forest was loud for once, animals buzzing around, a deer timidly coming down to our Lake to hydrate itself, and Yeri, our youngest naiad, lay giggling on the shore as she teased the deer by leading it around in circles with a string of water, until our eldest sister chastised her for tormenting the innocent creature. As our youngest sibling, she was rather mischievous and loved to play around whether it was with animals or humans. Younger men especially loved her, but she only enjoyed their company as long as they remained on land and her in water. She was the least trusting of anyone other than her naiad friends, thus why she had refused even Artemis’ offer of finding her a lover that would dearly cherish her.
I was laid back on a larger rock by the Lake, resting back on my elbows, my white dress almost completely dry as I swirled my toes around in the water, humming in contentment as my sisters voices meddled with mine as they were gathered towards the middle of the Lake, playing a tagging game. I smiled as I listened to their giggles and cheers, which were mixing with the beautiful songs the birds were singing, echoing our voices almost perfectly. The strong, divine, presence first gained our attention as everyone perked up, sensing it come closer as my body grew jittery. I curiously stood up, not expecting a visit from Artemis so soon, or another deity for the matter. But when my eyes fell on the approaching form in the distance, I instantly knew who it was. My eyebrows furrowed and my heart jumped in joy, but I couldn’t help feel concerned at the same time. San never visited unless he went to war, to a battle, and he had told me truce was laid upon the two settlements after they lost many men. He had no reason to visit, yet he was here. And my sisters shared my unease as they all grew warry, stopping their game as the eldest one called Yeri over, deeper into the water. I scrambled onto my feet and offered them a calm smile, not wanting them to panic and do something rash when it came to San. Understanding my request, they swum further away from the shore, only their eyes and the top of their heads visible as my feet touched the soft grass, San’s face now visible as he came closer.
Expecting complications and even a summoning to Olympus, instead, a bright smile decorated his lips, eyes crinkled and a skip to his confident steps as he hurried down the path having spotted me. Feeling confused but glad to see him nonetheless, I returned his smile and gasped when I was swept off my feet, his arms firm around my waist and twirling me around. I clung to his neck, lips brushing against his ear as I giggled, a similar sound leaving San’s lips. My heart skipped a few beats before it started beating faster altogether, every vertebrate in my being jittery as I realized this was the first time I have seen San so happy and relaxed, his sword nowhere in sight, and his armor polished and clean, glinting and carrying the scent of pine and musk instead of the salty stench of blood.
When he was done twirling me around, he placed me down on my feet, but kept his arms around my waist and leaned down hastily, warm and red lips pushing against mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I allowed myself to melt into him, cupping his cheek as our lips moved together softly, making it feel like it was the first time I was kissed by him. I felt my head whirl around and fingertips grow warm as San smiled into the kiss, apparently refusing to pull back just yet as he kept pressing little pecks against my plush lips. There was something about his demeanor that brought tears to my eyes, a side of San that I was seeing for the first time despite us knowing each other for an eternity now. I had dreamed of what a happy and free San looked like, a San that wasn’t tormented by a battle where he had to slay mortals and swallow their screams, feed off of the pure madness, hatred, and rage. I have prayed to Artemis to see a San that was so happy his whole body glowed from it, and now that I had him in my arms, laughing and kissing me, I couldn’t contain my own emotions.
“Why are you crying, my little nymph?” His voice carried worry as he caressed my cheek and swiftly wiped a stray teardrop from underneath my eye, eyebrows furrowing, “Have I made you sad? Perhaps even mad by showing up so unexpectedly?”
“No!” My voice raised without me meaning to do so, and my arms tightened around him as I pushed up on my tiptoes, ours noses grazing together as I stared inside his dark and soft brown eyes, “No, my San, I am beyond delighted to see you in such light. I have only dared to dream of seeing you one day happy and carefree.”
“My little nymph,” San whispered, expression faltering for a second as pain clouded his eyes, but it was quickly gone as I traced his high cheekbone with my forefinger, eyes taking in his beautiful features only a God was gifted with, “I had not known you harbored such wishes; I should have known seeing me always all roughed up after a battle brings you pain.”
“No, San,” I shook my head, a small smile appearing on my lips, “It brings me peace of mind and solace that I am the one you seek out after such feat, that I am the one you come to, to chase away your pain and fears after a battle.”
“Sometimes I see the stars in your eyes, Y/N.” San’s voice was merely a whisper as his hand gently brushed a strand of hair off my face and behind my ear, “When you look at me so deeply like right now, they sparkle with life and I see the cosmos in them. You are majestic underwater, but it will never come close to how you look when your eyes land on me.”
I gulped, feeling speechless as my cheeks grew hotter and darker in color, fingers tangling into the small hair on San’s nape. It was the first time his black hair wasn’t pushed back to make his eyes look even more piercing, but was rather soft looking and fluffy, hanging into his eyes as a dimple formed in his cheek as a wide grin made it onto his face again, “If my heart stops beating one day, I wish you to be the last thing I see before I must go.”
San shook his head, eyebrows furrowing again as he held onto my face, leaning so close his lips brushed against mine when he spoke, “You shall never leave me first, I promise you’ll be here until my last worshipper perishes, and even then I do not wish to take you with myself into the Underworld.”
“We won’t go to the Underworld, San.” He gulped as our gazes bore into each other and then he nodded, wordlessly and looking a little defeated, releasing my face as he cleared his throat. Sensing that he had something important to say, I released him and stepped back a little bit, watching him curiously as he reached inside his armor, pursing his lips as if he couldn’t find what he was looking for. I took my time to pay close attention to him, to take in his all like this, so that I could replay it when I missed him most. The way the sunlight fell on him made his caramel skin glow even more, face relaxed and a smile almost always present on his red lips, eyebrows unfrowned for once and expression serene as his muscles remained lax, not even a bit tense. When he finally found what he was looking for, he made a sound of triumph and I smiled a little wider, looking at him with big eyes as he pulled a collar out of his armor. I couldn’t determine what it was for, or whether it was a necklace or a collar, but when he opened his palm and raised it up for me to see better, I gasped in shock. There, worked into the steel that looked a lot like the one his armor had, was a little glowing star shining almost blindingly up at me.
“I promised to bring you a star,” San said quietly and then turned me around gently, pulling my black hair from around my shoulders to one side only, “I wish you keep something of mine on yourself, for protection.”
My lips pulled into a small grin as the cold steel touched the base of my neck, “You wish for everyone to know who I belong to upon one glance, don’t you, my greedy little possessor?”
San chuckled behind me as I felt him secure the clasp, his voice just a little bit deeper when he spoke up again, “You know me too well, my little nymph.”
His lips brushed against my ear and I turned my head to look up in his eyes, heart beating out of my chest, “Thank you, San, like the star around my neck, I’ll continue gazing at you as if you were my own personal star.”
A beat of silence passed between us before I felt San’s body press up against mine from behind, hand coming up to cradle my jaw and hold it firm as he leaned down into a searing kiss as reward for my words, as reward for allowing him to claim me in front of all Gods and Goddesses.
Not long after San’s visit, another deity seemed to be keen of visiting our humble Lake Naia. Albeit, this Goddess has never been too fond of our existence right at the feet of Mountain Olympus as she had claimed we’ve been charming her men away from her. She could have anyone, she had everyone, us mere Naiads could never live up to her beauty and charms, but she failed to see and understand that. My sisters and I had been gathered around the rocks, just by the shore, giggling about the latest gossip we have heard through Hermes’s secret lover, having been accomplice to the kidnapping that he had planned for Iris. We have sworn secrecy to her and Hermes, and swore to keep her safe and hidden from Zeus as long as she sometimes indulged to our gossipy nature and came down to the Lake for a bath where she’d share all her stories as she lived in the closest settlement, Dion. An outcast Goddess had been wreaking havoc lately there and Iris was trying to find ways to warn men without the other deity catching on, but Hermes is too scared Atë would tell Zeus of his once prized seer’s whereabouts and thus had forbidden Iris from meddling with the other Goddesses shenanigans.
The birds songs grew louder and the foxes ran out of the bushes as a light breeze entered the clearing the Lake resided in, and the strong scent of roses and pomegranate invaded our senses as my sisters and I became alert to the presence of a deity other than the two we would welcome here so often. The lower half of my dress was soaked as I had dangled it in the water prior, and due to Yeri, my long black hair was now tangled into intricate twists with flowers secured in it. The cold steel necklace sat snuggly against my neck, the star softly buzzing at all times and sometimes humming along to my songs. The giggles and laughter died down as the approaching presence took its time apparently, taking in everything our humble abode had to offer her. My eyes stayed on her, closely watching her every move, and I felt the strength leave my legs upon realizing who it was. I felt my cheeks heat up all of a sudden, the steel necklace too heavy around my neck as my lungs seized up, almost suffocating me. Yeri, always quick to catch the change in someone’s mood, intertwined her fingers with mine and squeezed them gently, offering comfort in the subtlest of ways.
“Ah, Lake Naia,” The Goddess’ voice was melodic and soft, yet it carried over the space between her and us, “I have heard so many stories about this place, but never truly had the itch to come and see it for myself. You have bewitched quite a few men, my little nymphs, both mortal and immortal, do you know?”
Her piercing eyes fell on me as she finally reaches us by the rocks, making me gulp as I averted my eyes, looking at our eldest naiad as she stood gracefully, a pleasant smile on her lips as she approached the Goddess.
“Aphrodite, my Goddess, what brings you to our humble home?” The naiad curtsied and Aphrodite chuckled, looking around. A dove flew overhead and I felt goosebumps erupt on my skin underneath the white dress as the star became a little bit too hot against my skin.
“I have come to bathe in the Lake that chases away all your fears and terrors.” The Goddess said, suddenly unlacing the top of her yellow tunic, leaving her bare to our eyes, “At least that is what everyone claims this place accomplishes.”
“My Goddess, we would love to have you bathe in our lake.” The eldest naiad smiled, stepping aside to let the Goddess walk towards the lake, “We’ll take away all your worries, just as you wish.”
“I want her to bathe me.” A perfect milky finger was pointed towards me and my lungs seized up again, a lump suddenly forming in my throat as I opened my mouth to speak up, but my vocal chords felt like they were being crushed. Yeri grew tense next to me, her grip on me tightening as she stood in front of me protectively, glaring at the Goddess. She was fearless, she looked the lions in the eyes and challenged them without any fear for the repercussions.
“Aphrodite, my Goddess, I am afraid she will not be able to bathe you.” The eldest naiad tried to save the situation, the air growing tense as my vocal chords started to burn and I gasped, grasping at my neck helplessly.
“She has been claimed by Ares!” It was Yeri’s shrill voice that tore through the clearing, making our sisters gasp around us as finally the pressure from my vocal cords was gone and my lungs also eased up, forcing me to intake large gulps of air, “She cannot touch any other deity than San himself, my Goddess, but you knew that already, did you not?”
“A Naiad with a sharp tongue, how refreshing.” Aphrodite chuckled as I yanked on Yeri’s hand and gave her a harsh stare for being inconsiderate and rude to a Goddess that could turn her into foam within a blink of an eye.
“I apologize, my Goddess, for her rudeness, she is still young and has to learn much.” I bowed my head deeply as I went to stand next to our eldest naiad sister, “I promise to teach her some manners myself, do not punish her just yet, I beg of you—”
“Like you have begged my husband to bed you?” A malicious smile grazed her lips, “Well…bed you, figuratively speaking as you seem to lack of beds in this place, pity, he fucks hardest when he has a headboard to hold onto.”
My jaw clenched as her comment felt like a punch to my ego, tears threatening to prick my eyes as Yeri came to stand next to me, standing just slightly more forward, but when she opened her mouth to speak up, the Goddess beat her to it, “You thought you could fuck my husband and I wouldn’t know? I know everything that happens inside and outside of Olympus, you little minx.”
“Then why does it bother you just now?” I gulped down the fear that bubbled through my system, and looked the Goddess in the eyes as I continued with my question, “Why just now when you’ve known all along what your husband was up to?”
For a second, Aphrodite seemed to freeze, but then slowly, her eyes fell onto the necklace that sat securely around my neck. He’d claimed me, San he had claimed me, meanwhile Aphrodite never quite loved any of his secret lovers to the point that she’d claim them. It hurt her, because it showed San was devoted to me, that he had given me a piece of himself, that he promised of a little particle of his heart that didn’t belong to Aphrodite anymore. Her ego was bruised and she couldn’t deal with the thought of a nymph stealing something that was once hers. She didn’t need to answer the question, her silence spoke volumes like her answer could never.
“Stray clear of my path if you do not wish to turn into foam, little nymph, or perhaps pray to Artemis to keep you safe from Zeus.” My sisters gasped as my lips quivered, dread filling my body at the thought of getting touched by Zeus. Even if a God claims you, Zeus can still do whatever he wants to you. His word and power were grater than any other Gods. I did not wish to come across Zeus, ever, terrified that he’d break me.
And just as quickly as Aphrodite had appeared, the foxes ran through the bushes one more time, a white dove flying over Lake Naia, and then she was gone, her sweet scent carried away by the wind that seemed to bring rain clouds with itself.
The days and nights passed by sluggishly, almost as if to taunt me, fear rooting deeply into my bones as I preferred to stay underwater most these days, not keen of coming across any deity. Artemis managed to coax me outside and blessed me, promised protection once again, having heard of Aphrodite’s visit, whispering that San has been at war for a month now. Nobody knew anything about him as he just disappeared one night, but they knew he was alive, he’d send scrolls to his father, Zeus, and updated him about the advancement of the war. When the evenings started feeling lonely, despite the presence of my sisters, I felt my little star humming just a little louder for me to hear and burning warmer, warming my chest from the inside out. I found it my only solace as I yearned for my God, but was scared of what would happen if I allowed him close again.
The stars had been long up on the night sky, high up and shining down brightly, almost as if calling out to its kin that now shimmered in the dark around my neck. I continued to gaze up at them, floating on the dark surface of the Lake, crickets creating a serene cacophony as my sisters’ hums have long subsided as they have gone to sleep. I have found myself grow more restless than usual tonight, the stars calling out and coaxing me to stay awake as if to look over our home, protect it from unwelcomed guests. And when the clearing grew eerily quiet and the stench of death invaded my senses, I gasped and submerged, watching as a dark figure approached the water with almost sluggish moves. My body yearned to feel his warm touch and my heart started racing in my chest, but I did not move. I watched, not too far from the shore, as he came to an abrupt stop just before the water could reach his feet, and he gently placed his sword onto the ground.
“My little nymph.” His voice was quiet, tired, and rough sounding. Tears pricked at my eyes but I forced myself to go just a little bit deeper underneath, the star around my neck pulsing ferociously. My body felt on fire from it, but I refused to act upon my desperate wishes, “Y/N, my little star, where are you?”
My lips quivered and I turned, clutching the star desperately as it started calling out faintly, whether for its kin or for the God that had gifted it to me, I couldn’t tell. The swift clinking of steel and its clasp being undone echoed loudly in the silent clearing and the water was suddenly disturbed as I whirled around, eyes growing wide as I watched my God rush inside the water. It colored the water red around himself, more so than usually, and my heart clenched upon noticing the countless bruises decorating his legs and the gash close to his groin. Who dared wound up my San like that?
I felt helpless as my body acted before I could consider my next actions, and I quickly swum closer, lips touching the large gash underwater, eager to heal his perfectly sculpted body. San’s gasp was loud above water, and before I could swim away, large and calloused hands gripped at my shoulders and yanked me above, making me gasp out loudly as water dripped from my hair onto my face. San’s eyes were wide and streaks of tears made his cheeks shine under the starlight, and I gulped, eyebrows furrowed as I helplessly traced his forehead, wiping the excess blood from there and from his temples.
“My little nymph, why would you hide from me?” San sounded breathless as his eyes desperately searched my face, grip growing stronger as it slipped to my arms, “Do you not love me anymore?”
My eyebrows furrowed and my heart squeezed as I pushed at his hard chest, fury licking at my insides all of a sudden, “How dare you doubt my love for you, San?!”
“You refused to show yourself to me,” His voice grew hard, but his dark eyes remained soft, “You weren’t waiting by the Lake for me, you didn’t undress me, you refused to bathe me. You must not love me anymore—”
“I allowed you to claim me!” I hissed, gripping his jaw tightly, his eyes finally hardening as I got closer to him, “I allowed you to claim me with something of yours, and you doubt my love for you after you disappeared without notice?!”
“I must hear your reasoning before I forgive you.” My eyebrows furrowed and I bit my lower lip, Aphrodite’s words echoing in my head. I’d be turned into foam, and then, all the love I harbor for my God will be lost, felt in vain, unfulfilled.
“She will turn me into foam, you have angered her, my possessor.” My voice was merely a whisper, but loud enough in the silent clearing, in the serene Lake. I didn’t have to name her; San knew who I was referring to.
“Once a God claims something as theirs, nobody is allowed to touch it, not even a Goddess out of spite, my little nymph,” San’s tone was strong and confident, carried no room for an argument, “And I, Y/N, I love you with my whole soul and promise to protect you until my last worshipper dies and I perish with them.”
“Then you shall never perish,” I cupped his cheeks, my legs securing around his hips as San’s hand slipped to my back, holding me flushed against himself, “Because I am immortal like yourself, I shall never die and you shall never perish with me.”
A strong emotion that could be only described as adoration crossed San’s features before his eyes closed and his lips pressed against mine, making me cling onto him as our lips moved in a dance that made my heart thunder in my chest, rhythm syncing up with his heartbeat, beating together and for one another. The stars shined perhaps brighter that night as San carried us out onto the rocks, laying me down gently and reassuring me that I would be alright, that as long as he was by my side nothing and no one would hurt me. And his lips sealed the promise as his warm body covered mine, sinking slowly inside me, our souls uniting as my back arched and the star around my neck hummed louder than ever before. San’s each and every single kiss carried a whispered promise as it traveled from my jaw to my neck, nibbling at my collarbones as his thrusts stayed sharp and deep, my fingernails digging deeply into his shoulders, marking him up for everyone to see, for Aphrodite to find tomorrow and rage in her pretty bedroom as she isn’t able to do anything about it.
San’s name left my lips almost in a mantra, almost as if I was praying to a God that answered all my prayers and fulfilled all of my wishes, head thrown back and tears trailing down by cheeks as I saw the stars behind my eyes. San feared no God and he had no fear of breaking me as his thrusts became ruthless, pelvis slamming against mine, making me cry out his name repeatedly, finding anchor in his black messy hair and on the rock I was laid onto, the sounds he made growing louder within seconds as he grew closer to his own release. His hands found purchase on my hips as he threw his head back, losing himself in the feeling of pure bliss and euphoria, glazing up at the stars that never shined brighter than my own eyes.
And with my name undyingly on his lips, I knew if I were cursed to become a star one day, I would do so gladly knowing that he saw stars in my eyes, loved me enough to bring down one for me, cherished me enough to promise a death where we’d flicker away at once.
SUMMARY | You're cursed to live an immortal life since you had broken the rules of the Celestial Realm. You're banished to live the life of a mortal but cursed to live forever and watch everyone die around you. It's the modern time and you meet Choi Jongho, a man that resembles someone you fell in love with many centuries ago.
PAIRING | Jongho x Reader
GENRE/CONTENT | mortal!Jongho, goddess!Reader, non-idol au, fantasy, romance, angst, fluff,slight suggestive (not really, more implied lol)
WARNINGS | It’s a fantasy setting so…like exile, betrayal, etc. I mean not really any warnings I don’t think.
RATING | SFW
LENGTH | 6,230 words
TAGLIST | --
NETWORKS | @illusionnet, @blossomnet, @atzhouse, @cromernet
AUTHOR’S NOTE | I think this took me like a few days to write…more like a few hours haha. This concept/idea was so fresh in my mind that I had to write this. And look! My first SFW fic in a very, very long time (not including my dad!Wooyoung fic out there lol). Thank you @yessa-vie for the initial beta read for the first half of the story haha. Look! I added more and I hope it turned out well. Thank you for all the love and support and please reblog, comment and like. Much love~
Transcending time and eternal life.
You've been alive for a long time - too long. You're a divine being, a high goddess, cursed to live an immortal life ever since you broke the rules of the Celestial Realm because you fell in love with a mortal. You were banished to live the life of a mortal, but cursed to live forever and watch everyone die around you.
You've seen empires rise and fall, watched civilizations crumble to dust. You've loved and lost more times than you can count. And each time, the pain is just as fresh as the first.
But there's something different about this man. The first time that Choi Jongho walked into the cafe that you were working at in this time period, you felt something inside you stir and awaken. He reminds you so much of the man that you loved in your last life, so much like him that it takes your breath away when he looks at you. He reminds you of your first husband that you fell in love with many centuries ago. The husband that made you broke the rules of heaven and sealed your eternal fate.
You know that you can't get too close to him. If you do, he'll just end up like all the others. But you can't help yourself. You're drawn to him in a way that you've never been drawn to anyone else before. There's no logic behind it, but the second you laid eyes on him, you knew deep down in your heart that you were meant to be together... even if it was just for a little while.
The day he asked you out, you should have said no. Should have pushed him away. Your life has always been doomed to failure after all, hasn't it? Who knows how long you'll be able to keep him in the dark? What happens when he finds out that you're a divine being?
'Just one date,' you tell yourself. 'If it doesn't work out, then I won't see him again.'
That's what your rational mind tells you, anyway. So you go on that date with him. One date turns into another. Another turn leads to another date. Then another. Before you know it, you've fallen head over heels for him. Because he makes you feel things that you haven't felt in ages. Feelings that are not just from lust. He makes you laugh. And he brings back memories of better days.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this. You promised yourself that you would never allow yourself to get close to someone again. Never allow them to break your heart or make you feel things that you've grown numb to.
All those promises flew right out the window when you saw Jongho. When he looked at you. When he touched you. Every single time, your insides tingle and your blood runs hot. No matter how hard you try, you can't stop yourself from falling deeper and deeper into him. Soon enough, you've found yourself completely enamored by him.
He's helped you forget for a while. And when he kissed you for the first time, you'd forgotten all of your worries. All of your pain. For just that moment. Nothing else mattered except that his lips were pressed against yours, holding you tightly. Kissing you softly. Holding you close. And making sure that you didn't go anywhere without him.
That kiss set off a spark inside of you that had been dormant for a very long time. It awoke a hunger inside of you that you thought was long dead. Jongho's slowly drawing you back out of the darkness. Bringing back the person that you once were, the person that you used to be when you were with your first husband. He shows you a glimpse of the future, and it looks bright. For just a few moments, you let yourself dream about what could be. About how happy you might be. How good it feels to finally be loved again.
Every single night, you fall asleep with a smile on your face. Falling asleep next to him is even better. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tight. Feeling his warm breath against your neck. The feel of his chest rising and falling next to you.
And every morning, you wake up with the same smile on your face. Even though you're broken. Even though you've been hurt again and again, you find comfort in the fact that you still have hope for a brighter tomorrow.
A future with him.
Tonight you watched Jongho as he slept. He moved restlessly, rolling around on his side, making small noises every now and then. His dark hair covered his forehead, framing his delicate features and you wanted to run your fingers through them. To stroke the side of his face. Touch him in ways you hadn't been able to touch your husband in all these centuries.
When he shifted slightly, you realized that he was awake, his eyes fluttering open slowly. "Babe?" he whispered, his voice rough from sleep.
"Mmm?" you replied quietly.
He glanced at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "How long have I been asleep?"
You turned away quickly. "Not long."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Did I wake you up?"
"No. No." Your face burned red with embarrassment. "I was just thinking."
Jongho turned onto his back again and put his arm over his eyes. "About what?"
"Nothing important." You ducked your head. "Just my mind wandering. You don't need to worry about me."
He lifted his hand and lightly stroked your hair. "If you ever need to talk..."
You smiled softly. "I know."
You laid there in silence, staring at the shadows dancing across the ceiling, remembering all the times you were alone in your bed, wishing for someone to come in and comfort you.
You're no longer alone.
You opened your mouth to say something, to tell him how much you appreciated him, but before you could say anything, his fingers traced their way along your collarbone, eliciting a shiver. "Why do you look so beautiful while you're sleeping?"
You laughed nervously. "Do I? Why?"
"Because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
With each word he spoke, your body felt like it was going numb. You reached for him, wanting desperately to hold him, to kiss him, but instead you simply laid your head against his chest, letting your fingers trail through his hair. You listened to the sound of his heartbeat, comforting and steady. The only sounds you heard were your own breath and Jongho's quiet breathing. It was blissful in its simplicity, yet it felt like everything you needed to be happy.
Eventually, you fell asleep.
When you woke up again, it was still dark outside. Your eyelids were heavy and you could barely keep them open, but you knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep if you waited any longer. So you stretched and got up from the bed, looking around the room for something to wear. All you could find was a white robe draped over a chair near the foot of the bed. Sheathing yourself in it, you went downstairs to see Jongho sitting on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV. He gave you a smile when he saw you. "Good morning."
You walked over to him and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
"I slept well." His cheeks flushed and he looked away, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. He patted the seat next to him. "Come here, babe."
Feeling like you couldn't turn down an invitation like that, you slid into the seat beside him. Jongho wrapped an arm around you, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. You laid your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes. "Are you okay? You just seem out of sorts lately."
"I'm fine," you murmured. "It's just been a long day."
He nodded and kissed your head again. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
"Maybe some coffee would be nice. And a kiss too."
He chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess that would be alright."
Jongho kissed your cheek once more and got up off the couch, heading towards the kitchen. You watched him go, the sun peeking out from behind the clouds casting a warm glow on his handsome face.
His black hair framed his features, brushing his eyebrows. He caught you staring and blushed, turning around. As he poured you a cup of coffee, you admired his broad shoulders, admiring the muscles flexing as he lifted the kettle. He turned around again, holding two cups of steaming hot liquid in his hands. One for himself and one for you.
"Here you go." He sat the cups down on the table in front of you. Settling back in his seat, he softly kissed your lips. "Feel better?"
"Better." You murmured against his lips. "So much better."
He kissed you again and you leaned into his embrace, enjoying the warmth of his arms surrounding you. After several minutes, he pulled away, looking at his watch. "Oh, it's that time already. I need to head out to work."
"Can't you skip work today?" You pouted.
"As much as I want to stay home with you, it isn't possible. Sorry, baby." Jongho leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. "I'll be home as soon as I can, okay?"
"Okay." You smiled, leaning in to kiss him again.
As he headed out the door, you lingered in the doorway, watching him walk down the steps. "Have a good day."
"Bye, babe." He waved as he stepped outside. The door closed and you found yourself all alone again. Looking around the room, you noticed a notepad sitting on the countertop of the kitchen. Glancing down, you saw Jongho's neat handwriting scribbled across the page. You smiled, picking it up and opening it. A simple message that told you that he loves you and that he hopes you'll have a good day.
The perfect reminder of why you fell in love with him.
You heard a 'whoosh' from behind you and you didn't even have to turn around to know what, or rather who, it was.
"Greetings, General Seonghwa." You turned to look at the person that had magically popped into your living room. General Seonghwa, a divine being that you have known for centuries, stood silently in the middle of the room. He looked exactly as he did the last time you saw him, save for the fact that he seemed a little tired. "Thank you for gracing me with your presence and not showing up when he was still here."
"This new mortal looks like the one that you fell in love with. The same one that you broke the rules for. The same one that got you banished." Seonghwa walked towards you slowly, stopping right in front of you. You could see the concern in his eyes as he gazed down at you. "The Heavenly Emperor is worried about you."
"If the Heavenly Emperor was worried about me, why did he banish me in the first place?" You asked, your voice trembling. "He banished me, General. His own daughter."
Seonghwa shook his head sadly. "Even gods make mistakes."
"Was it a mistake to fall in love?" You asked. "All the lesser gods and goddesses and other divine beings that cultivated into an immortal can fall in love. But a high goddess…no, the heavenly princess, the daughter of the Heavenly Emperor, can't? That was my mistake, wasn't it? That was my punishment."
Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. "For being brave enough to show your true feelings? Being so stubborn that you'd risk everything for a mortal man?" He frowned. "There are worse things than getting banished by the Heavenly Emperor. Believe me, Princess Y/N. Your father did you a favor."
"You think so?" You asked. "That's all you have to say?"
Seonghwa stared down at you. "We were lovers once, weren't we?"
You sighed heavily. "Yes. We were. But that was so long ago. It doesn't matter anymore."
"I suppose not." He shrugged. "Still, I'm worried about you."
"Why should you be?"
"Because you've fallen for this mortal." Seonghwa said simply. "The mortal that looks like your first husband."
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "Why exactly are you here, Seonghwa?"
"The Heavenly Emperor has lifted your banishment. He wants you to return home."
"After a hundred, no, a thousand years after he banished me, he decides that he wants me back?" You snorted derisively. "Sure, that makes sense."
"Perhaps he feels bad for banishing you." Seonghwa shrugged. "Regardless, he sent me to ask you to come back."
You sighed. "Fine. Tell my father that I will be in the Celestial Realm shortly."
Seonghwa nodded. "Will do, Princess."
After you said your goodbyes, Seonghwa vanished without a trace. You looked at the clock that adorned the wall above the mantelpiece. There were still hours before Jongho got home from work. Going up to your bedroom to get changed, you knew that you had to go to the Celestial Realm sooner rather than later. To get everything over and done with.
You went back downstairs and looked at the notepad that was on the countertop. You scribbled a small message to Jongho just in case he came home early, saying that you'd be running errands and that you loved him.
You took a step back and knowing that your banishment was lifted, you felt your spiritual energy return to your body and then you found yourself walking into the Celestial Realm once more.
"Welcome home, Princess Y/N!" The heavenly guards shouted as you stared at the city of the Celestial Realm. Bright lights and colors danced and fluttered throughout the sky, bathing the city in a golden light. The buildings in the distance glistened in the sunlight, reflecting the brilliance of the heavenly moon. To the untrained eye, it appeared as though they were glowing from within.
You saw the other gods, goddesses, immortals and even dignities from each of the three realms: Celestial, Earthly and Underworld. Each of them were happy to see you return and as you made your way towards the Jade Palace, you were greeted with cheers and applause.
You held no emotion on your face. These were the same entities that exiled you in the first place. You still hated them, and their attitude still pissed you off.
But you didn't care anymore. In the beginning, you had hoped that you could prove to your father that mortals are worthy of being treated as equals. That love between humans and immortals could flourish and bloom into a beautiful flower. That love conquers all, and those sentiments remain unchanged. Even after everything that happened to you, you still believed in the human heart and its ability to open up to others, to accept others, regardless of their differences.
And now you had Jongho. The mortal that opened your heart and healed the wounds that had lingered inside of you for a millennium. The mortal that showed you what unconditional love really meant.
When you reached the Jade Palace, you followed the servants through the lavish halls and up the stairs until you finally arrived at the top floor. There sat the Heavenly Emperor, your father, imposingly on his throne. With his long, graying hair tied into a topknot and secured with an intricate gold ornament, he sat tall and proud, his white robe billowing out behind him.
Beside him was Empress Jihyun, your mother, clad in luxurious white robes. "Welcome home, my daughter. We have missed you." Her face broke into a smile as she beckoned for you to join her. She wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug. "It's good to have you home again."
"Likewise, Mother." You returned her hug and glanced at the other members of the court.
They bowed deeply to you, grateful that you were back. The emperor raised his hand and the entire Jade Palace came to a halt. All eyes turned to him.
"My dearest daughter, you have been gone for far too long. I thought I would never see you again." His deep voice boomed throughout the palace. "Are you well?"
"I am fine, Father." You replied.
His gaze softened and a gentle smile appeared on his face. "I have waited for this moment for many, many years." He chuckled softly. "So I hope you understand why I feel relieved to have you back under my roof."
He stood up and clasped your hand in his. "Come, let us retire to my private chambers. There, I shall tell you of how your banishment ended and how you came to be summoned back here."
You stayed rooted to your spot, the other members of the court leaving. You took a deep breath and looked at your father. "Father, I can't stay long."
"Why not?" Your mother asked, looking at your father. "You just got back home."
"You know why. I can't just leave Jongho there waiting for me." You said, looking down at the floor. "Time works differently between here and the Earthly Realm. What could be hours or days here are like years...I can't do that to him. He needs me."
"You wish to go back?" Your father asked. "Return to the Earthly Realm?"
You looked at your father. You couldn't lie to him. Could you?
"Yes." You breathed. "I wish to go back."
Your father sighed. "You'd throw away your second chance at godhood, to finally be home, for a mortal man?"
"Yes, Father. Yes, I would. And I would do it all over again if I had to." You let out a deep breath. "After thousands of years loving different mortals, Jongho is different. I don't want to keep going through the motions. After everything that happened to me, he helped heal my heart. He gave me hope that things could be different. He gives me strength to move forward and find happiness again. I love him. Father, don't you care about my happiness? Don't you care about your daughter?"
Your father remained silent, thinking. Finally, he lowered his head and sighed. "You have become much stronger since you left, child. Much more compassionate and caring. You have shown me what unconditional love truly means. And while I may not agree with your decision, I cannot deny that you love him dearly. But you also need to realize that this decision won't be easy. You're a goddess and he's a mortal. He will grow old and die, but you...you'll remain young and vibrant forever. Your world will always be upside down and chaotic. Why put yourself through such hardship?"
"You haven't seen how beautiful our relationship is. Our ups and downs, our joys and sorrows. Even when times are rough, we pull through. We're better together." You smiled sadly. "And if we could be together forever, wouldn't you want that too?"
"Of course I would." Your father replied. "I only want what's best for you."
"My love," your mother laid a hand on your father's arm. "I know that it's unheard of, but why don't we grant this man that our daughter is in love with, immortality? Give him an eternal life with her, as your son."
Your father stiffened. "Impossible."
"If you do that, perhaps you could persuade her to stay." Your mother pleaded. "Don't you want her to be happy?"
"Do you really love this man?" Your father demanded.
"I love him with all of my heart." You answered simply. "And I promise that he loves me just as much. If I have to be banished by the heavens to keep him, then I would gladly do it all over again."
"How do you know that he will even accept this?" Your father pressed. "What if he refuses? What happens then?"
"Then let me go back so that I can tell him. At least then, I'll have tried." You crossed your arms over your chest stubbornly. "I refuse to spend another day living this miserable existence alone. I am tired of watching people I care about die around me. Living a life without love. So please, let me try. Let me take this chance."
"Alright." Your father nodded slowly. "If this is what you truly want, then we will give it to you." He patted your shoulder lightly and kissed your forehead gently. "However, there is one condition."
"Name it." You sighed.
"If he decides to become an immortal to be with you, then he will marry you. The marriage will be binding in all worlds, mortal and divine."
"Thank you, Father. Thank you, Mother." You smiled and threw your arms around them both. They hugged you back tightly. "Jongho and I will make sure to show you that our love will last a lifetime."
"We look forward to seeing that." You father waved you off. "Now go before I change my mind."
"We look forward to meeting our future son-in-law." Your mother laughed.
"Go and tell him." Your father urged. "We await his reply."
You let out a sigh as you plopped on the couch once you returned home from the Celestial Realm. You leaned against the cushions and closed your eyes.
This was a good start. Things seemed to have gone well, considering your fate.
That didn't mean that things were completely rosy though. You still had to convince Jongho that he should choose to live an eternity with you, instead of continuing his earthly existence. Even though you wanted to stay by his side, you knew that the decision rested solely on his shoulders.
"I'm home!"
You blinked your eyes open. Jongho entered the room with a bright smile on his face. "Hi, babe."
You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a kiss. "How was work?"
"Tiring." He replied with a yawn. "I'm exhausted."
"You must be drained." You stroked his hair affectionately. "Why don't you rest for a bit and I'll fix dinner?"
"Okay, baby." He leaned down to peck your lips again. "I'll be right back."
He ran off towards the bedroom, and soon you heard the water running in the bathroom. Once the bathroom door closed, you hurried into the kitchen and began cooking.
The aroma of food wafted through the house, and soon the delicious smell of sweet potatoes filled the air. Jongho walked in wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He wrapped his arms around, placing his chin on your shoulder as he watched you cook.
"It smells amazing, babe." He murmured, kissing your cheek.
"Go get dressed." You giggled. "You're being a distraction."
"What about you?" He cocked his head curiously. "You look hot enough to eat."
"Jongho!" You blushed furiously and swatted him playfully. "Later. Dinner will be ready soon."
"I'll be right back." He grinned, winking at you before exiting the room.
Once you finished preparing the meal, you called Jongho into the dining room where you had prepared two plates. "Here." You handed him the plate and watched as he sat down across from you.
"Thank you, babe." He smiled at you gratefully.
"Anything for you." You winked and tucked some strands of hair behind your ear. "Eat up."
Jongho picked up his fork and started eating. When he was halfway through his meal, you decided to ask him a question that had been weighing heavily on your mind. "Jongho?"
"Hmm?"
"Would you believe me if I told you that I'm not of this world?"
"Y/N, I know that you're not of this world." He reached across the table to grab your hand in his. "I've always known that. Ever since we met."
"You have?" You asked, surprised.
"Yeah." He nodded his head. "I knew there was something special about you when I first walked into that cafe for the very first time. There was something...magical about you. Something that drew me in. That made me forget about everything else and fall hopelessly in love with you."
A warm feeling settled in your stomach as you felt Jongho squeeze your hand.
"Before I met you, every night I would have these dreams of you and I. Wearing clothes from ancient civilizations." He brushed the back of your hand with his thumb. "Dreams of you and I walking through lush green fields of flowers, at the marketplace eating honey roasted nuts and candied fruits. The scent of jasmine drifting through the air as we walk along the shore of a crystal clear lake. Dreams of holding you in my arms while we danced together under the moonlight. It was magical and felt so real."
"Oh Jongho..." You squeezed his hand harder.
"Then you showed up." He swallowed hard. "When I walked into that café, my heart stopped beating for a moment. A whole eternity passed inside of that instant. I knew that you were real and not just some dream. You were real and so beautiful."
His words melted your heart. How did you get so lucky? How did you ever deserve this?
"I thought I was going crazy." He took a deep breath. "Falling for someone whom I just met. But it felt like I've known you forever. Like I've always known you. All those strange dreams that I've been having finally made sense. Every dream of us together was a memory. Memories of us being together long ago. Before this modern age. Back in a time when the world was full of magic and mystery. Memories of our past lives, where we were lovers and soulmates."
"Really?" You let out a small sob. "You remember all of that? Our memories? Our lives?"
"Yes, baby." He breathed deeply. "I remember every second of it. Everything about you. I can't imagine how lonely you must have felt without me. For centuries to pass without knowing if my reincarnated soul would find its way back to you. To see your soulmate being taken away from you because of that damned curse..."
He looked down at the plate in front of him.
"I promised myself that no matter what happened, I would find a way to save you." He raised his head to stare into your eyes. "No matter what it takes, no matter how impossible it may seem, I will save you. No matter how much pain it brings upon myself. I will fight against the gods until the end of time if I have to. And I will never let anything or anyone separate us. Not even death itself."
"Even if it means becoming an immortal yourself? Getting rid of your earthly existence?"
"There's nothing I won't sacrifice to be with you." His voice shook. "To be able to wake up next to you every morning, and to lay my head down next to yours every night. To hold you in my arms and feel your heartbeat beneath my fingers. I will risk it all to have a life with you."
"I'm not going anywhere." You spoke softly. "And neither are you."
"I'm sorry." Jongho sniffed, wiping the tears away from your eyes. "For everything you had to go through. For breaking the rules of heaven because of me. For falling in love with a mortal like me. For not being able to grow old with me."
You pulled him closer and buried your face into his chest. "It's okay." You said with a smile. "I don't regret loving you. You were the only man I ever loved, and you were the only one I ever needed. My heart belonged to you from the beginning. From the moment I laid eyes on you. I always knew that you would come back to me someday. It's just that you got lost in the midst of our journey. But now that you found your way back, it feels like everything is coming full circle."
"It does, doesn't it?" Jongho mumbled, his chin resting on the top of your head as he held you close. "But no matter what happens between us, even if this cycle continues, my soul belongs to you. You alone. Nothing will ever be able to take that away. You are my everything. I will always belong to you, my goddess. My heavenly princess. My eternal love."
Your heart soared as he uttered those precious words to you. Words that you had always longed to hear from him. Words that your heart craved to hear over and over again. Now that you could finally hear them, you vowed to treasure them forever.
"Jongho...I..." You hesitated, trying to find the right words to say.
"Don't worry, my love." He cupped your face in his hands. "I know exactly what you want to say. You want me to marry you. Right?"
"Right." You smiled and nodded.
Jongho reached into his pocket and pulled out a diamond ring. You gasped as you stared at it in awe.
"Oh Jongho, this is-"
"Shh." He silenced you with a finger to your lips. "You're supposed to be speechless."
"Oops." You cleared your throat, letting out a light laugh.
"Y/N, I will do anything and everything to be with you. Even if I have to become an immortal myself. As long as I have a chance to spend an eternity with you, then I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. You are the reason for my existence. The reason why I continue to exist after my death. So I promise to never leave you alone. Not even for a single day. Not even for a single moment. Forever and always, my love. You will always be the center of my universe."
You stared at the ring in his palm. So elegant and exquisite. A shining reminder of your undying love for each other. A perfect symbol of your unbreakable bond.
"Marry me." He whispered softly. "Become my wife. Be my everything. My eternal love."
You couldn't speak. Your throat had gone dry. You had never wanted anything more than to spend the rest of your life with Jongho by your side.
"Say yes." He urged gently. "Please, baby. Please, say yes."
Slowly, you nodded your head. "Yes, Jongho. I will be your wife. Your eternal love."
Jongho smiled as he slipped the ring onto your finger.
"Now that we've gotten that settled, let's celebrate." He chuckled, pulling you into his arms. "Let me love you in ways that I have never done before."
You moaned as you felt him lean forward and kiss you tenderly. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your hands through his hair, bringing him closer to you. Jongho kissed your lips passionately, devouring you with every kiss.
After several minutes, you broke the kiss. "Is this how you want to celebrate?" You asked with a smirk.
"Of course." Jongho chuckled. "This is the best way to celebrate. Celebrating with you, celebrating our everlasting love."
Jongho held his breath as you led him up the stairs of the Jade Palace and towards the Great Hall. Never in his entire life had he been so nervous.
"Are you nervous?" You asked him as you took his hand in yours.
"Nervous? What am I supposed to be nervous about?" He laughed nervously. "Baby, of course I'm nervous. I'm meeting your parents. You know, the ones that are the Heavenly Emperor and Empress?"
"I guess that makes sense." You laughed. "Jongho, I'm right here with you. We'll be fine."
He sighed as he glanced down at your hand. Saw the way the diamond ring glistened against your skin.
"I just want you to know that I'm really happy that you're here with me." He said softly. "Because Y/N, without you, I wouldn't be able to deal with meeting your parents. At least not alone."
You smiled softly as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "You're welcome."
Jongho watched as you walked ahead of him. Taking in every step that you took, every movement that you made. Feeling as though he was entranced by you. Every time you took a step forward, he felt like his legs grew weaker. And every time you turned to look at him, he lost control of himself. Seeing you in your robes of white and gold silk, looking so ethereal and majestic as you walked ahead of him, left him speechless.
"You are the most beautiful woman in the world." He whispered to himself as he followed you. "I love you so much, Y/N. More than anything else in this world."
You smiled as you glanced over your shoulder and saw him watching you. Walking behind you slowly, unable to stop staring at your figure. The way your hair flowed gracefully behind you. The gentle sway of your hips as you walked. Each step sent waves of lust coursing through his veins. Making him ache for you. Make him crave you with every ounce of his being.
You couldn't help but turn around to see if he was still following you. If he was thinking about you too.
"Come on, husband-to-be. Hurry up." You called out, laughing quietly as he tried to adjust the white robes he originally hesitated to wear but wore them anyway to please you.
Jongho chuckled as he continued walking after you. Focusing his attention on you instead of the path in front of him. Just like how you used to walk ahead of him, stealing glances at him whenever he was near you. Always catching him off guard whenever he turned to look at you. Leaving him speechless and weak. You were so wonderful, so breathtaking, so intoxicating. And you made him want to surrender his very soul to you. Completely. Without hesitation.
A gentle breeze blew past your ears as you stood in the middle of the Jade Palace. The soft chirping of birds echoed throughout the palace. Flowers bloomed along the path, surrounding you with their sweet fragrance. Jongho smiled as he gazed at you, standing there so serenely. A vision of beauty that stole his heart away. You could easily pass for an angel if he didn't know any better. But he did know better. He knew the truth. That you were far more than an angel. Far more than he could ever dream of.
You were his goddess, his heavenly princess. His eternal love.
You turned to look at him and giggled softly as he looked like he was having a hard time walking. The Jongho of centuries past would have had no problem in these clothes. He'd simply stride forward confidently. But this Jongho was slightly awkward in his white and gold robes. So clumsy and shy. So cute. You couldn't help but giggle. This version of Jongho was quite endearing. A completely different person than the version you had fallen in love with years ago. And yet, you knew deep inside that this Jongho was the same man that you had fallen in love with from the start.
"Ready?" You asked, gently nudging him with your elbow.
Jongho gave you a sheepish grin. "As ready as I'll ever be."
You laughed as you led him into the Great Hall, entwining your fingers with his. You were glad that there was no else present apart from your parents. Just you and him. And you hoped that they liked him. Because you loved him with all of your heart. And he was the first man that you ever truly cared about.
"My lovely daughter, my soon to be son-in-law." Empress Jihyun smiled warmly as she stood in front of you. Her eyes sparkled as she gazed at you with love.
"Mother. Father." You greeted respectfully before turning to look at Jongho. You squeezed his hand in reassurance, silently telling him that you were here with him. "This is the man that I love, Jongho. I lost him once, and now I've found him again. And I don't intend to lose him again. He's my life."
The Heavenly Emperor, your father, nodded. Taking yours and Jongho's hands in his own, he patted them reassuringly. "It has been far too long since I have seen my daughter smile like this. Welcome to our family, my son-in-law."
You turned to gaze at Jongho, eyes filled with happiness from the words that your father had spoken. To hear that your father was accepting of him. With tears of joy streaming down your cheeks, you wrapped your arms around him tightly. Hugging him tightly as you let go of all the pain and anguish that had consumed you over the years. All those times that you cried yourself to sleep because of the mistakes that you had made in the past. All the times that you wondered if you would ever find true love again. But now, with the return of your Jongho, you knew that you were finally home.
In just a few days, Jongho will become an immortal and live forever. You won't need to worry about losing him anymore. Because you'll be together forever. Together with your soul mate, and the one that you both had waited for your whole lives.
☆ Synopsis: Olympus, the place where Gods play pretend and do as they wish. Dion, the place where mere mortals suffer and do as the Gods wish. One might wonder, is life ever fair? ★
☆ Author: bvidzsoo ★
☆ Pairing: Ateez members x female reader ★
☆ Rating: nsfw, 18+ ★
☆ Genre: Greek mythology, dark romance, violence, smut, gore
☆ Status: tbd ★
☆ 1. Choi San x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Underwater ◖Ares x Naiad Nymph!au◗
Summary: You knew that your love would never be fulfilled as the man you loved belonged to another woman. But can you help your poor Naiad heart when San, the God of war himself, seeks you out again and again when he is most vulnerable?
☆ 2. Kang Yeosang x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Marionette ◖Aphrodite!au◗
Summary: Doomed from the beginning, your mother, Hera, only saw a weapon in you. If you had once thought she loved you, she proved you wrong the second she cast you away once you failed to kill her enemy's son. Yeosang, Aphrodite's dearest and most prized offspring.
☆ 3. Kim Hongjoong x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Color of love ◖Hermes x Iris!au◗
Summary: If there was a God everyone feared, perhaps it was Zeus. After the continuous abuse he's put you through, you never thought you'd get to live your eternal life peacefully. That is, until the messenger God shows up and whisks you away before Zeus can see and stop him.
☆ 4. Jung Wooyoung x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Kingdom come ◖Oread Nymph x Dryad Nymph!au◗
Summary: Nymphs were nothing but deities that preserved nature and allowed the Gods to love them in return for their blessings. And when Zeus lurks around, you are labelled as his, never to be touched by anyone in the whole cosmos. But can you help yourself when the man he claims is Wooyoung himself? The gorgeous and warm-hearted Oread that coincidentally returns your forbidden feelings for him?
☆ 5. Song Mingi x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Dead man running ◖Hades!au◗
Summary: You were cursed, at least that's what your family thought about you. After a while, you started believing it too, the shadows that whispered to you convincing you that you were either crazy or just...different. And maybe you were, after all, the God of death himself, wouldn't have just called you his little shadow without a reason, right?
☆ 6. Choi Jongho x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Nightmare ◖Phobos!au◗
Summary: Coming from a family that thrived under pressure and mayhem, it was only a matter of time until your father allowed you to join him on the battlefield. But perhaps what set you apart from other warrior families was the fact that each one of you worshiped a God of war. You just happened to make the mistake of offering yourself up to one in exchange for your dear sibling's life.
☆ 7. Jeong Yunho x female reader ★
༄ ҉ One Kiss ◖Atë!au◗
Summary: Cast out of Olympus because Zeus has had enough of the mayhem and craze you created amongst men, living and meddling with mortals changed nothing. You thrived off of stupid men falling to their knees and begging you for attention, promising things no mortal could offer. But when a pure, untouched, and unassuming boy might just fall into your trap, you can't help yourself and entice him just to the point of madness.
☆ 8. Park Seonghwa x female reader ★
༄ ҉ Moonlight Melody ◖Poseidon!au◗
Summary: You always thought the man of your dreams never existed, would never come and whisk you away from this terrible terrible life that you lived. And perhaps when he starts showing up in your dreams, with promises that he'd soon come and see you, you find yourself hoping for a love that only the stars would bear witness to.
☆ A/N: Hello, my lovelies, I am here with a new story, can you believe it?! Because I can't lol, this wasn't supposed to exist but I thought...why not? Updates won't be too frequent, probably, as I have got quite a few others things to write, but I can't wait for you all to see what I have planned here! ^^ These stories won't be too dark, but I felt it necessary to mention dark romance as we're still dealing with some ambiguous topics. Taglist, as usual, is open and you are all very welcomed to comment on this post if you'd like to be added! Thank you for showing love, support, and interest in my works on here, they mean the world to me! <3 divider ★
summary: san can’t seem to get you off his mind after sitting next to you during the latest D&G showcase, so he has no choice but to get you on his dick instead.
w.c: 3.3k
warnings: some alcohol use, subby until he’s not! san, dommy mommy who folds instantly when san asserts himself! reader, both reader and san mutually go after one another despite knowing one of them is MARRIED (hoes will be hoes what can i say <3), reader’s husband is a dick ofc, misogyny (from said husband), cheating, seduction, exhibitionism, mommy kink/daddy kink….. (i’m weak okay,,), teasing, ITS BIG BTW AND CURVED……, only praise and pet names (omg who hacked k4s???), groping, fingering, kissing, dry humping on a couch in a very crowded room, one neck bite, san cums untouched, oral (receiving), squirting, one singular pussy slap, san puts reader into a mating press on her husband’s side of the bed just for funsies, manhandling, size kink, breeding kink, creampies (sannie cums a lotttt)
a/n: as a pudding since day 1 i am in absolute shambles thanks for asking <3 and YES im very aware i posted yesterday but the fic demons cannot be silenced!!! and just fyi i’m sure san was very grateful and absolutely brimming with excitement to be at the show!! the way i wrote him here does not reflect his actual feelings towards anything,, its just a silly fic and i wrote what i wanted lol. also i wish i could tell you how many times “dolce and gabbana that’s on my titties~” played in my head while i typed this out 😭😭 (also i did not proofread this whatsoever so forgive me if there are errors) but anyways, i hope you enjoy :33
song recs: la romana by bad bunny, rover by kai, planet goddamn by mac miller
San knew eyes would be on him. Why wouldn’t they be? He was dressed to the nines, his hair slicked back to showcase his alluring, feline-like eyes, his sharp, angular features that could give someone a fatal cut if they looked for too long, and most importantly, he was all decked out in a sleek black custom-made top that perfectly adorned his broad shoulders and chest, one that even cinched securely around his impossibly tiny waist. Of course it did. It had been custom fit and made just for his body. Even the tailor had jokingly mentioned that Michelangelo himself must’ve sculpted him to perfection in the heavens before San was born, but San wasn’t laughing. He perfected his body through his own sheer willpower and determination alone, to be the best that he could be for his own self — and if people just so happened to drool over the results of his hard work, then that was simply a perk.
Holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the many camera flashes, he continued to make his way down the walkway, offering many of the starstruck guests a courteous, though charming smile, wondering if their wandering gazes were due to his breathtaking ensemble or what was sitting just below it. The thought tickled him. It continued to amuse him throughout the afternoon, taking picture after picture with eager guests and wealthy tycoons alike, quite pleased with himself when neither man nor woman could seem to control themselves around him, their eyes always drifting downwards to look San up and down like he were next up in an auction, their mouths pressed to their champagne flutes in an effort to quell the thirst they felt, their free hands lingering just a little too long on the small of his back when they bid farewell to him.
San relished the fact that these poor hungry people could never get a taste of him, no matter how incredibly rich or influential they were. None of them would get a bite of the forbidden fruit without permission from God.
It was then that the show started, various eye-catching models sashaying their way across the aisle to showcase the latest D&G collection, all displaying their own unique set of features and charm. All flawless and angelic in their own right, but they were almost predictable in that way — like mannequins made solely for the rich and beautiful to gawk at. San couldn’t help but look past them, only focusing on the expensive, tailor made clothes that were framing their perfect bodies. And after a while, he almost seemed to grow bored. Of what, exactly? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was the sheer gaudiness of it all, the lack of self awareness for things that really mattered in the modern world, and the almost nauseating amount of self-sucking the rich individuals around him seemed to be fond of doing. San would’ve pondered it more when somebody near him gently patted his thigh, causing him to look down at the small manicured hand, the diamond ring around your finger glinting in the light like a warning sign.
“Are you bored like I am?” you whispered softly into his ear from beside him, giving him a quaint smile when he turned his head to face you.
San blushed, leaning slightly in your direction. “Am I that obvious?”
“No, don’t worry. None of these drones will be able to notice.” You motioned your head to the crowd around you, their phones in hand, all whispering to each other about how revolutionary the new collection was, despite it looking eerily similar to the fall one from the year before. “You could whip your cock out and no one would bat an eye.”
“Oh?” San studied your flirtatious smile, then looked down just to make sure his eyes hadn’t deceived him. Yep, the ring was still there — and it probably cost more than a starter house. Delighted by your forwardness, San took it upon himself to tease you, reaching down to slowly unbutton his slim-fitted pants. “Well, if that’s the case…”
Your cheeks turning bright red, you reached downwards to shield his crotch from view, looking up at him with wide eyes, your faces now impossibly close. “I-i was fucking with you! Don’t actually take out your dick…”
San’s sharpened eyes flitted from your gaze to your cherry red lips, letting go of his zipper to gently take your hand in his, pressing it firmly down onto his thigh. “Yet…?” he challenged huskily, wondering if you were like all the others and would yank your hand back, scoff in disgust, and pretend as if it had never happened. It was then that San felt you squeeze your warm hand into the meat of his thigh, your fingers just barely pressing into the inseam of his pants.
“You can be a good boy and wait till the after party, can’t you?” you asked in a lower, sultrier tone, pressing your lips to his cheek to leave your mark on him, your hand moving further up his thigh, only pulling away when you felt something hard press into your palm. Smiling sweetly, you leaned in again, this time allowing your lips to brush over his. “Good things come to those who wait.”
And just like that, you turned forward to focus on the models all gathering onto the stage at once along with the designers, clapping along with the rest of the crowd when they all took a bow. You blew a kiss to one of the designers who caught it and pretended to put it in his pocket.
Still breathless from your short encounter, San nudged your thigh with his own, biting into his lip and tasting the sweetness of your lipstick. You nudged him back, glancing at him through the corner of yours eyes, licking at your own lips, like a predator would before pouncing on their prey.
San couldn’t believe he had finally met someone like you. There was a serpent in his garden — and he couldn’t wait for it to swallow him up.
-
The after party was predictable as always — strangers binge drinking and snorting powder off of your previously pristine marble tabletops, others telling embellished stories about their latest trip to their private islands to various locked-in acquaintances, some off doing god knows what in your many empty guest rooms, and you could not, for the life of you, care about what your husband was currently cackling over with his close friends, focusing on the crackling wood sitting inside the fireplace you were all huddled near. When you inevitably ran out of champagne, you patted your husband’s leg so that he could remove his arm from your waist.
He looked down at you with indifference. “What is it?”
“I need more champagne, honey. I’m going to get some.”
Your husband’s face scrunched up. “Haven’t you had enough? If you drink anymore, you’re going to lose your nice figure.” He looked to his friends for validation who simply nodded along in agreement.
Your husband’s chauvinistic comments didn’t bother you anymore, just his persistent presence in your life. He was like a mosquito that was always trying to drain you, one that you could never seem to swat away. Well, nothing a little dick couldn’t fix. “That’s funny, because I seem to recall the tailor coming in this morning for an emergency visit to alter a certain suit,” you mentioned, this time pushing your husband’s arm away from you, surveying his now quiet friends with an unbothered look, before wandering off, not registering the insecurity driven ramblings that your husband was sending your way.
Once you made your way into the crowded loft, you searched your surroundings for what you were looking for, humming at the sight of the pretty boy from earlier sitting on the large plush couch in the corner, a half-empty champagne flute in hand, his attention on one of the models that had walked for your husband’s collection a few hours earlier. He was even more handsome now that you could study his captivating details, your eyes drifting over his bulky frame, from his large arms and shoulders, to his delicate waist, and down to his spread thighs, zeroing in on what was between them, knowing that the beautiful stranger was blessed in more ways than one based off what you had felt earlier.
Without hesitation, you slowly made your way across the room, your stiletto heels digging into the fur carpet below with each concentrated step, licking your red lips when the model placed one of her hands on San’s thighs and squeezed it, his suddenly submissive expression causing more knots to form within your core. You were going to make him yours.
San could barely hear the pretty model’s words over the loud music and the many overlapping voices inside the loft, not knowing what to say when she moved closer to him, clearly going in for the kill. It was then that someone stood over him, their heel nudging into his loafer. He looked up, his once hazy eyes opening wide at the sight of you standing above him with a bottle of champagne in one hand, your other hand already cradling his face. When you lowered yourself into his lap, your plush thighs and ass pressing snuggly against his lower half.
“Look at you,” you cooed softly into San’s ear, not caring to give the now fuming model any attention, lowering the cold champagne bottle in between your bodies, chuckling at the soft whimper he let out when it pressed into the exposed sections of his skin. “You’re such a good boy, saving a seat for Mommy like this. Aren’t you, baby?”
“Y-yes, I am, s-so good for you…”
“Then, be good and open your mouth,” you purred, lifting the almost empty bottle and pouring some into your mouth. San’s jaw slowly dropped, not knowing that he was already beginning to drool. You didn’t mind, clutching the sides of his heated face and pressing your parted lips onto his, transferring the sparkling alcohol to him, but not without running your tongue over his.
San brought his hands up near the sides of your ass, his fingers trembling, not knowing if he was allowed to touch you, whimpering into your mouth when you sucked the alcohol off of his tongue.
“You can touch, baby.” Humming, you reached for his wrists and brought his hands underneath the hem of your short dress, gasping when he squeezed the softness of your ass in between his ringed fingers and began to slowly guide your hips, your clothed cunt rubbing back and forth over his stiffening cock. “Mm, someone’s eager, hm? You’re a naughty one, making the main designer’s wife grind on your cock like this in front of everyone.”
“It’s…Mommy’s fault…” San murmured near your ear, rolling his own hips up into yours, making you feel every inch of his trapped throbbing cock each time he ground himself into you, biting into his lip at the sound of your breathless moans, swearing he saw your grimacing husband from over your shoulder.
“My fault, huh? Mommy should make up for it, shouldn’t she?” you sighed back onto his heated skin, pressing kiss after kiss onto his collarbones, dragging your tongue along the constellation of freckles he had on his neck, making him shudder underneath you.
“Uh-huh…” San moaned out, your hand suddenly squeezing into and sliding back and forth over his erection, your thumb repeatedly rubbing over the pronounced tip, knowing he was staining his expensive pants with sticky pre-cum. “F-fuck, I’ll cum if you keep doing that…”
“So sensitive, baby, you’re so cute…but you’re not the only one, you know? Look what you did to Mommy~” You gave his balls a gentle squeeze just to hear him whimper, before letting go, instead reaching for his hand again and leading it between your legs, moving your soaked panties to the side just in time for San to fill you up with two thick fingers.
“You’re so wet…” San groaned, unable to keep himself from adding another digit inside your slick hole, beginning to pump them in and out of you, allowing the both of you to listen to the obscene squelching sounds your cunt made each time he finger-fucked you. Something switched inside of San when you began to whine and whimper, and fuck yourself back on his fingers, your eyebrows screwed upwards, begging him for more with your teary, half-closed eyes. “So fucking wet just for me, huh? Hey, Miss, did you know your husband is standing just across the room? Think he’s hard knowing I just got his pretty little wife wetter than she’s been in her entire life?”
“B-baby, don’t tease me like that,” you whispered, not wanting the control you had over him to slip out of your grasp, grabbing onto his shoulders, accidentally causing pieces of his solid outfit to fall off and land onto the leather couch.
“It’s San, Miss, but you can call me Sannie if you wanna be a good girl for me,” he chuckled, shoving his fingers into you up to the knuckles, rolling your clit around underneath his heavy thumb. “And, I’m not teasing you, my love, he’s really watching us, and he looks like he wants to kill me.”
Just as you looked behind you to catch your husband’s displeased gaze, San began to ram his soaked digits into your spasming cunt, feeling his lips, tongue, and teeth on your neck. “O-oh my god, Sannie, oh, fuckkkk…”
Just as your warm arousal began to pour out onto his fingers and lap, San bit down into the area where your neck and collarbone connected, letting out a few stunted groans, his hips jolting up into yours, coating the insides of his designer pants with white.
“Did you just…?” you began, before San stuffed his fingers into your mouth, growing quiet and sucking your arousal off of them. He pulled them out with a pop, but you didn’t even get the chance to continue your question because you were suddenly being lifted up into the air, strong hands clutching your thighs, your legs hooked around San’s waist.
Your defeated, emasculated husband was just a blur when San carried you through the crowded room and up the stairs, not stopping until he got to the largest room at the end of the expansive hallway.
“Which side does your husband sleep on?” San asked, once he stood at the foot of the kingsized bed.
“On the right. Why do you–O-oh,” you gasped as he quickly laid you out on the right side of the bed and lifted your dress up, forcefully spreading your thighs open so that he could bury his face in your cunt, repeatedly lapping at your slit and clit over your soaked panties until he couldn’t take it, reaching up to tear your panties off with ease. “Sannie, baby boy, what’s gotten into you?”
San looked up at you with dark, dilated eyes, reaching up to his broad body to rip off the rest of his outfit, his solid muscles flexing as he closed his fingers around your waist, yanking you lower so that your cunt was closer to his face, looking like he was about to eat you alive. “Daddy’s hungry,” he simply replied, diving back into your cunt to lick and slurp up your juices, tonguing your hole just to feel your clench around him, his nose nudging your clit as he ate you out like a starved man.
Sooner or later, you began to shudder and pant, tugging at the ends of San’s sweaty hair, your thighs pressing into the sides of his head until he forcefully held them down, quickly moving his head up and down as he dragged his tongue roughly over your throbbing clit, his focused eyes never leaving yours. “S-sannie, I’m really, fuck– I’m gonna cum…!”
“Cum for Daddy,” he demanded gruffly, stuffing three fingers into your cunt and pounding them into your g-spot, lifting your ass up with his other hand so that he could catch the stream of arousal that suddenly squirted out of you, some of it inevitably soaking into the satin sheets below you. San licked your juices from his lips, going down to give your puffy cunt one last lick to savor your taste, before standing up from the bed and unbuckling his pants.
“Y-you….Did you get possessed by a demon?” you asked half-jokingly, unable to keep your thighs from trembling, wiping the sweat from your forehead with the back of your wrist.
“And if I did? You’d still let me fuck you, wouldn’t you?” San smiled devilishly, his dimples appearing, kicking off his pants and running his closed hand along his curved, dripping length. He pressed his thighs against the side of the bed, running the tip of his cock over your lips, watching fondly as you sucked and licked the beads of pre-cum that leaked from the slit.
“I would.” Lifting yourself up so that you could completely rid yourself of your disheveled dress, you reached up for the handsome stranger, licking the saltiness from your lips. “Now, come here and show Mommy just how much Daddy wants her.”
San wasted no time climbing back onto the bed and folding you up into a mating press, leaning back to send a few wads of spit onto your cunt, smacking his hand against the wetness for good measure, before he plunged himself deep inside you.
You just about screamed, not ready for San’s unusual size and shape, the curve of his cock rubbing deliciously along your tightening walls each time he pounded himself into you. “S–ann–ie…! It’s so big, fuck– so good!”
“Aww, poor baby’s never had a big cock stretching out her pretty pussy before, huh?” San cooed into your ear, pulling all the way out, just to slam himself back in, hitting your g-spot dead on, making you cry out deliriously. “You’ll never be able to go back to your husband after this. You’re gonna be begging for me to take care of you from now on….” San pressed his lips against yours, sucking on your tongue as you moaned out for him. “Want you to cum for me again, baby…Squirt on my cock, okay?”
“S-Sannie, it’s too much,” you whined out, dragging your nails down his broad back, your toes curling just as San punched your next orgasm out of you when his curved cock once again came in contact with your g-spot.
As you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure, San licked your tears away, gently pressing his lips into your cheek and jaw, shushing you. “Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s here for you.” He clutched you close, holding still inside you, as his cock began to twitch. “Here it comes, princess, just for you.” A hot, creamy stream of cum began to shoot out into you, completely drenching your insides with his load.
You could hardly speak at this point in time, solely concentrated on the pleasure that still had a hold on your sore body and the warmth that was filling you up to the brim, suddenly realizing that your husband really wasn’t going to be happy with you. “Y-you shouldn’t have…nnnngh….”
San continued to roll his hips into you, his eyelids fluttering, groans spilling from his throat, your cunt still milking his pulsing cock for all it had, which was a lot, to say the least. Once there was nothing left to give you, San leaned down, pressing one last kiss to your lips, not caring that you had left your lipstick all over him. “Can I ask you something, baby?”
“Y-yes, San?”
San smiled again, his eyes sparkling this time. “When you have my baby, will you have the heart to tell your poor husband that it’s actually mine?”
Panting heavily and trying to process what the handsome stranger just said, you finally came to the realization that you let someone who didn’t even know your name possibly impregnate you. Well, at least you had something to talk about over breakfast with your husband, rather than hear him go on and on about his latest collection.
Pairing: military strategist!Mingi x royal physician!reader
AU: historical au (Joseon era)
Word Count: 10.3k 🤡
Summary: Mingi had spent countless years searching for the angel who saved his life when he was on the verge of death. He believed god was on his side when she finally reappeared before him, but she was now so near yet so far, so unobtainable. No longer just a young medical trainee, she had become an esteemed royal physician—a woman working within the palace walls. And what did that mean? It meant she now belonged to His Majesty.
Part 1 | Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist
"I still can't believe you actually said yes to him. What happened to love being a luxury for us, hm?" Subin teased, not letting you off the hook since she found out about the military strategist's bold invitation. That was surprising enough, but nothing shocked her more than your acceptance.
You sighed, tightening the bow of your hanbok before heading to the full-length mirror in your room to check your hair. "Oh, stop it. You know this is nothing more than a way to demonstrate our teamwork. Officer Song is a colleague, and we are simply taking the chance to network and show support for the union with Ruhon."
She rolled her eyes. "Sure, you keep telling yourself that, unnie."
You truly didn’t want to think much of it.
You were already planning to attend the banquet anyway, with or without Mingi's invitation. As one of the more senior and recognised royal physicians in the palace, your attendance at these events was mostly expected. While his attempts to spend time with you hadn't gone unnoticed, you treated them as nothing but friendly gestures.
As you finished adjusting your hanbok, you resolved to keep things strictly professional. Whatever he thought might happen, you would make it clear that you were unavailable. You would convince him to give up, knowing his efforts would only be in vain.
Right, let's get this over with.
The evening of the banquet arrived, and the palace buzzed with activity. Lanterns illuminated the courtyards, and the air was filled with music and laughter. Excitement filled you as you stepped out of the female physicians' quarters to find the tall and dashing military strategist already waiting. He wore a grand hanbok, a stark contrast to his usual training clothes. His hair was slicked back, and his hands were clasped behind his back as he paced, eyes fixed on the ground.
You took a deep breath to calm your racing heartbeat. After all, you were only human, and this was a stunning man before you. But you had to remind yourself that nothing was ever going to happen between you two and that you had only agreed to attend the event with him as a gesture of camaraderie.
Nothing more, nothing less.
After composing yourself, you cleared your throat and called out, "Officer Song, you really didn't have to come all the way here. I could have just met you at the grand hall along with everyone else."
Mingi perked up, his heart thundering at the sound of your voice. When he turned to face you, his breath momentarily caught at the sight of you so dressed up. You were always beautiful to him, but tonight, you were even more enchanting.
He bowed slightly and stepped closer. "You look… perfect, my lady."
You blinked rapidly, hoping the blush you felt wasn’t obvious on your face. He continued, "Of course, I had to come here. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t? More importantly, you're not just anyone else to me, Royal Physician Ahn. You're my—"
Not wanting to hear the rest, you flashed a large, courteous smile. "Ah, we should probably head over if we don't want to be late. Let us go, Officer Song," you said, cutting him off. His smile faltered slightly before he nodded. "R-right, let us."
Throughout the night, the military strategist remained faithfully by your side. Unfortunately, his attentive gestures did not go unnoticed by those around you, leaving you flustered and repeatedly clarifying that you were merely colleagues.
"Really, Royal Physician Ahn? That's a shame, you two would make a beautiful couple," teased Lady Park. You sputtered, choking on your drink. She panicked and reached over to pat you on the back, glancing at a very concerned Mingi who was conversing with the general. With a reassuring smile, she mouthed, "I'll take care of her."
Officer Song resisted rolling his eyes as Seonghwa smiled dreamily at his adorable wife, not realising he was just as guilty of it—if only he knew he looked the same whenever you were around.
"I-I'm fine. Thank you, Lady Park. But I assure you, nothing can happen between us. It is forbidden; I am a woman of the palace."
The pregnant woman grinned in response. "So, are you saying that if you weren't a palace woman, you definitely would have given General Officer Song a chance?"
You sighed, offering her a half-hearted smile. "There's no use pondering that, my lady. It's impossible," you whispered the last part.
She softened, touching your shoulder gently. "Nothing is impossible if only you desire it hard enough, my dear."
Your heart warmed at her words, but you knew better than to believe them. With an appreciative nod, you gestured to her baby bump. "So, how has pregnancy been treating you, my lady?" you asked, steering the conversation away from dangerous territory. You were afraid of temptations and could not afford to give in to any of them.
The conversation with Lady Park was cut short when a certain fourth prince appeared behind her, hesitantly taking an uncertain step forward. You blinked, trying not to stare too obviously, but she noticed your eyes shifting toward something over her shoulder.
With furrowed brows, she wondered aloud, "Just what are you looking at, Royal Physician Ahn?" She turned and froze upon locking eyes with Prince Yeosang. As she moved to bow, he hurriedly reached out to stop her, gently holding her by her forearms.
"It's been a while, my lady. Would you… care to catch up?" he asked.
She bit her lip, turning to meet her husband's warm gaze. Seonghwa nodded, signalling that the decision was up to her, and she excused herself to speak with her friend. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the prince's one-sided feelings for Lady Park persisted. Everyone in Joseon had heard of His Highness' not-so-subtle advances back then. The gossip at that time was quite juicy, but it was good to see him accepting defeat gracefully. The once bratty fourth prince had disappeared; it seemed the general's wife truly had a strong hold on his heart, changing him for the better even with her firm rejection.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when your chaperone reappeared by your side. You weren't sure how to feel around the gentle giant. His presence was both comforting and unnerving.
"Everything alright?" Mingi asked softly, concern evident in his eyes.
"Yes, everything is fine," you replied, smiling up at him. "Just a bit of palace drama."
He chuckled, nodding in understanding. "Palace drama indeed. Shall we continue to mingle, or would you like to take a break?"
You appreciated his attentiveness, but the whirlwind of emotions from the evening had left you feeling somewhat drained. "A break sounds nice," you admitted.
Mingi beckoned for you to follow and you did, allowing him to lead you to a quieter corner of the grand hall. As you walked, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. The evening was proving to be far more eventful than you had anticipated, and you knew you had to stay vigilant against his allurements that seemed to be lurking at every turn.
As you both reached a more secluded area, he quickly said, "Wait here, I'll get you something to drink."
You sighed, reaching for his arm. "You don't have to do that, Officer Song. I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I've been meaning to tell you: there's nothing between us, and there never will be."
He paused, turning to face you properly. You looked away almost immediately, guilt gnawing at you as you caught a glimpse of the hurt reflected in his eyes. A heavy silence settled between you, each struggling to collect your thoughts.
Mingi knew winning your heart wouldn't be easy, but the early rejection still stung deeply. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft but steady. "I understand your concerns, truly. But my intentions are genuine. I'm sorry if I've caused you any discomfort or misunderstanding. I just want you to know how much I care."
You bit your lip, the sincerity in his words making it even harder. "I appreciate your honesty, but I have my duties and responsibilities. My life is here in the palace, and I can't afford distractions."
He nodded slowly, taking a step back to give you space. "I respect your dedication. I just… before I let you go, there's one thing I need to know. We've actually met each other years ago. Did you… did you remember me when you saw me again?"
Your expression remained unreadable as you mustered a response. After what felt like an eternity, with the military strategist standing with bated breath and his heart pounding in his ears, you finally met his eyes and softly said, "No, I'm afraid don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry, Officer Song…"
His heart sank. "Oh."
The weight of his disappointment hung in the air. He took a step back, struggling to mask the hurt that flashed across his face. He had held onto the hope that perhaps, even faintly, you had remembered him. That tiny hope had been a beacon for him, a justification for his persistence. But now, it seemed all for naught.
What if His Majesty had been right?
"That's… that's okay," he finally said, forcing a weak smile. "I must have been mistaken."
You nodded, the guilt intensifying as you watched him grapple with his emotions. "I'm really sorry. Perhaps you have."
Except that was a complete lie.
You remembered. In truth, you had never forgotten. How could you? To have seen Song Mingi in person was to understand that he wasn't someone easy to forget, even when pale and sickly on his deathbed. He was undeniably gorgeous. Beyond his appearance and physique, his warm gaze, soft touch, and sweet words lingered in your memory, impossible to leave behind.
You'd recognised him since day one.
It took everything in you to maintain a composed façade and steady your racing heart as you locked eyes with the military strategist for the first time in years. Before you stood a man, well and strong, embodying everything you had ever wanted.
But you had to quell your desires, silence your dreams, and dismiss any thoughts of the impossible. Years had passed, and you had assumed he was married by now. Later, you discovered he wasn't.
Yet, it changed nothing.
You were now a palace woman, and that sealed the hopelessness of your situation. So you chose to pretend, to feign ignorance of your shared past. It was for the best—for him and for you.
Sometimes, you wondered if you were trying to convince him or yourself more. It was the very reason you dreaded seeing him; not out of dislike or annoyance, but because you were just as captivated by him as he was by you. Had you been an ordinary physician outside the palace walls, you would have accepted his love in a heartbeat.
But things were different now.
Rules were rules.
You and General Officer Song were a beautiful impossibility, and you had to do everything to keep it that way.
Yet, his constant presence was a quiet storm, eroding your resolve. Every gentle gesture, each attempt to show he could protect and cherish you, made it increasingly difficult. His persistence, so tender and genuine, weakened your defences, and you were frightened—terrified, even—of the feelings blooming within you.
Why must he be so cruel?
His kindness, his sincerity, his unwavering dedication—they all tugged at your heartstrings, weakening your defenses. Every time he appeared with that soft smile, every time he looked at you with those earnest eyes, it became increasingly difficult to remember why you had to keep him at arm's length.
And tonight, standing in the secluded corner of the grand hall, facing the man you had spent years trying to forget, you felt your carefully constructed walls begin to crumble. The reality of your situation pressed heavily on you, a constant reminder of the boundaries that could not be crossed.
Song Mingi, with his genuine concern and quiet strength, embodied everything you had ever wanted but could never have. His mere presence was a cruel reminder of what could have been in another life, another world. A world where you were free to love him without consequence.
But you weren't in that world. You were here, bound by duty and rules that were impossible to break. So you swallowed your feelings, pushed down the burgeoning hope, and forced yourself to remember the impossible nature of your situation.
Because letting yourself love him—truly, deeply love him—would only lead to heartache for you both. And you couldn't bear the thought of causing him any more pain than you already have.
You sighed, swallowing the lump forming in your throat as you gazed up at him solemnly. "I, uh… I'm feeling rather tired. I shall retire to my quarters for the night. Thank you for accompanying me tonight, Officer Song. It truly is a joy to befriend Lady Park. It's also wonderful to finally see Joseon and Ruhon getting along well. It seems like things are really looking up for us."
But they weren't.
Both of you thought it, but neither dared to say it aloud.
You smiled courteously, bowing respectfully. "Goodnight, Officer Song. I hope you enjoy the rest of the banquet with your friends."
Just as you turned to leave, he reached out an arm to stop you, though not touching you. Damn it. Damn him and his gentlemanly gestures. "Wait, my lady. Please allow me to escort you back—"
You bowed again, cutting him off, afraid to hear the rest of it. "Please enjoy the rest of the banquet."
With that, you left, leaving behind a strong man staring longingly after you like a lovesick puppy. You didn't have the courage to spare a final glance at him, knowing another look at his pleading eyes would make you give in, and you couldn't have that. Not now. Not ever. You needed to put an end to this.
As you walked away, your heart ached with every step. The distance between you and Mingi grew, but the weight of your emotions only became heavier. The grand hall's festive atmosphere faded into the background as you focused on maintaining your resolve.
Arriving back at the female physician's quarters, you couldn't summon the energy to put on yet another fake smile for Subin. Your friend waited excitedly for you by the entrance, but her beam faltered as she registered the expression on your face.
"You told him to stop, didn't you?" she asked softly, reaching over to grab your hand.
You nodded wordlessly, too weary to say anything more. Subin wrapped an arm around your shoulder, guiding you into your room, murmuring, "It'll be okay… I'm here."
You broke into a tiny smile, leaning into her hold appreciatively. Her warmth and understanding were a balm to your frayed nerves. As you settled into the familiar comfort of your quarters, the weight of the evening began to lift, if only slightly.
Subin's presence was a reminder that you weren't alone, even in your struggle to keep your feelings at bay. She helped you sit down, then knelt beside you, her eyes filled with concern and compassion.
"I know it's hard," she said gently, "but you're strong. You did what you had to do."
You sighed, closing your eyes as you leaned back against the wall. "I just... I can't believe I'm saying this, but I just wish things were different, you know?"
She nodded, squeezing your hand. "I know, unnie. But remember, you're not alone in this. We'll get through it together. Besides, you said it yourself: we have each other, and we have our duty. That's enough. It has to be."
Her words, though simple, offered a small measure of solace. You knew the path ahead would be challenging and that things with the military strategist would never be the same again, but with her by your side, you felt a glimmer of hope.
"Trust me, you'll get over it in no time."
God, I sure hope so.
Meanwhile, Mingi did his best to keep it together for the rest of the event. After all, you had told him to enjoy it with his friends, so he did—or at least he tried his hardest. Feigning a huge grin, he returned to General Park and Royal Secretary Choi's side, casually mentioning that you had retired early. He didn’t want to burden them with his love troubles; the last thing he wanted was their pity. He didn't need to feel any worse than he already did.
Despite having braced himself for the possibility of hearing those words, the pain of your rejection cut deep. "There's nothing between us, and there never will be." Those words echoed in his mind like a broken record as he lay in bed that night, unable to find solace in sleep. He was caught between the urge to fight harder for you and the need to honour your wishes.
Yet, he couldn't shake the image of your face when he asked if you remembered him. The fleeting look of conflict troubled him deeply. Why did you seem so torn? Why did you hesitate? Could you have been lying? If so, why hide the truth? He needed answers. Whether or not you would ever be his, he needed to know them.
Mingi resolved to seek those answers, slowly and carefully. In the process, he hoped to soften your seemingly hardened heart, guarded by steel walls that showed cracks despite your efforts to conceal them. He might have been a fool most of the time, but his attentiveness had never been keener than now. All for you. Because he believed fate must have brought you back into his life for a reason.
"You good, hyung?" Junghoon asked, feeling his mentor shift on the bed for what seemed like the thousandth time that night.
The older man nodded despite the internal turmoil within him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go to sleep already, young man."
"I'm trying... if only you'd stop moving."
Heaving a sigh, Mingi turned to face his apprentice. "Hey, what do you think it means when a woman tells you to stop pursuing her but looks really sad while saying it?"
The younger man rolled his eyes. There goes my sleep, he thought as he pushed himself up into a seated position, legs folded and hands intertwined. "Alright, sit your dumbass up. Time for Love Lessons for Dummies 101."
"Are you sure this is going to work? She's not—" Mingi's words were cut off by his apprentice, who mocked him with air quotes. "'Not like other girls.' Yeah, yeah, I know. That's what every man says about his crush. Trust me, women are all the same. Nothing melts their hearts more than an attentive and caring man. Now go before she's already out for her lunch break."
Junghoon had finally convinced his mentor to see his dream girl after avoiding the royal medical hall for nearly a week, giving you the space you needed. But Mingi knew that to win your heart, he couldn’t stay away. He'd have to approach gently and slowly.
With a handmade lunchbox in hand, the military strategist's first mission was to show you he wasn’t bound by gender norms, relegating kitchen tasks only to women. He wanted to demonstrate what having a husband like him would be like. If you wished, he could drop by each day with lunch prepared just for you.
His heart pounded with anticipation when he arrived at the medical hall for the first time in what felt like forever. He had missed you like crazy, each day without seeing you dragging on like a year. As he stepped inside and approached the counter, confusion set in when you were nowhere in sight. Could you have gone out with the first batch of royal physicians for your lunch break? That was odd; you always preferred the second batch.
"Good day, Officer Song. Are you injured or feeling unwell?" one of your colleagues asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Mingi blinked and cleared his throat. "N-no, I'm here for Royal Physician Ahn. Is she already out for lunch?"
Your colleague suppressed a knowing grin, pursing her lips before answering, "She's not. She hasn't been in for a few days now. She's been down with food poisoning ever since attending the royal banquet with you."
Mingi felt his heart sink.
He muttered a quick thanks and dashed out, his feet moving automatically towards the female physicians' quarters. Nothing else mattered; he needed to see you, to know you were okay, to apologise for not taking better care of you that night.
Meanwhile, you pressed your face into your pillow, curling into a ball and clutching the comforter around you as another stab of pain hit your stomach. The discomfort was unbearable, making it impossible to go to work today. Seeing your agony, the head of the royal physicians had allowed you a day or two to feel better before returning to the royal medical hall.
As the pain subsided and you slowly felt a wave of drowsiness enveloping you, an unusual rustle from outside alerted you. Someone was there. But who? Everyone else should be at work. Was it Subin coming to check on you? Your thoughts were interrupted when your breath hitched, realising a man's silhouette was standing by your room entrance through the paper walls.
What fool would dare come here, a place meant only for women? Not even eunuchs were allowed in, let alone a well-built man of his stature. Was it a prison escapee? Lord knows what he'd do if he found you alone. Before you could attempt to get up and go someplace safe, another sharp pain hit, and the wince you let out was inevitable. Unfortunately, the man heard you and immediately reached to pull the doors open.
As the door slid open, your heart raced, fear gripping you as you braced for the worst. But instead of a stranger, you saw Mingi's concerned face. His eyes widened in alarm as he rushed to your side.
"Physician Ahn, are you alright?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.
"O-Officer Song? What in the world are you doing here?" you managed to say between breaths, the pain still lingering.
"I heard you were sick. I had to make sure you were okay," he replied, his voice softening as he knelt beside your bed.
The concern in his eyes was genuine, and despite the awkwardness of the situation, a small part of you felt relieved. "You're not supposed to... you shouldn't be here," you whispered, the rules and propriety still at the forefront of your mind.
"I know, but I couldn't stay away," he said, gently placing a hand on your arm. "I'm here to make up for my mistake. I should have been more attentive. This is all my fault."
You frowned, pushing yourself up to a sitting position as the pain subsided again. "What do you mean by that? How is any of this your fault? This has nothing to do with you."
He sighed. "Nonsense. If only I’d been more attentive to what they served you at the banquet, you wouldn’t have been suffering from food poisoning this badly."
"F-food poisoning...? Who told you that?" you asked, already having a clue. He twiddled his fingers nervously. "One of your colleagues. I was at the medical hall earlier and you weren’t there. She told me you were sick, and I came here as fast as I could..."
Squeezing your eyes shut, you were exasperated at your friends’ mischievousness. They hadn’t let you live it down since learning you had gone to the royal banquet with the military strategist, though they didn’t know what had transpired between you two or how the night had ended. The teasing was one thing, but you didn’t think they’d actually go this far. But of course, they probably didn’t think this fool would actually come here himself instead of sending a court lady to check on you.
You sighed. "I don't have food poisoning… it's just that time of the month. You know, the women thing…" His eyes widened in horror, and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, muttering, "Gosh, why'd she lie about this?"
You pulled your comforter close as another cramp hit. "Listen, I'm not in the mood to talk right now. Besides, you really shouldn't be here. I appreciate you checking on me, but you should leave. We'd both be in huge trouble if someone saw you here."
He nodded quickly, gesturing to the bag he had brought with him. "Right, I-I'll leave immediately. These are for you, by the way. I made them myself. Please enjoy them when you're feeling hungry."
Usually, you would have melted at that, but you really needed him gone. "Yes, thank you."
As if the world had something against you, just as the military strategist neared the door, another familiar silhouette appeared at the entrance. "Are you feeling any better, my dear? I've come with some heat packs to soothe the cramps," the head of the royal physicians called out, her hands reaching for the door handle.
Mingi froze, and you panicked, all menstrual pain forgotten as you jumped out of bed and rushed towards him, exclaiming loudly, "I'm feeling much better, Head Physician Seo! Thank you for your concern. Would you give me a minute? I'm not properly dressed."
You sighed in relief when that worked like a charm as she removed her hand from the door handle and took a step back. "Oh, my apologies. Of course, let me know when you're ready."
Scanning the room in alarm, you hurried to the cabinet that usually held your mattress, pillows, and comforters when you weren't sleeping, now empty. "Get in here, quick!" you whispered urgently. He obeyed, moving as stealthily as he could to avoid making a sound and raising suspicion.
Oh god, can things get any worse today?
After shooting him a stern look and pressing your pointer finger against your lips to signal a firm 'be quiet,' you shut the cabinet doors and took a deep breath. Plastering on a huge smile, you opened the door for your superior, letting her in. She smiled warmly, handing you the heat packs she'd brought. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard someone in here earlier."
Your breath caught as you noticed Mingi's bag still by your bed. Quickly moving to conceal it with your hanbok, you feigned innocence. "Huh, really? That's weird. It's only me. I'm sure it's nothing."
She shrugged and nodded. "You're probably right. I guess all the lack of sleep must be getting to me. Well then, it’s good to see you doing better. I shall get back to work then."
You mustered a fake laugh. "That must be it, ma'am. Thank you so much for the heat packs. I really appreciate it."
She patted your cheeks softly. "Anything for my best physician. Hope to see you back at work tomorrow."
You nodded, waving goodbye as she left. As you shut the door, exhaustion overwhelmed you, and you sank to your knees. The cabinet doors creaked open as the tall man emerged, muttering, "Phew, that was close—"
As if jinxing it, your superior returned. "Oh yes, my dear!" she called through the door.
Rushing up to Mingi, you smacked a palm over his mouth to shut him up as you answered her, "Yes, ma'am?"
She chuckled. "I heard that General Officer Song of yours dropped by the medical hall earlier, seemingly with lunch prepared for you. Don't be so hard on him, hm? I know we’re not allowed to love, but he's a sweet guy. At least be a friend to him. We’re still allowed to have friends, you know? Please don’t deprive yourself of that right too."
You swallowed, meeting Mingi’s eyes as they softened at your pained expression. "I understand. Thank you, ma'am."
Finally, she left for good this time. Eyes locked with his, you pondered her words. Could you really be friends with this man? Just... friends? Perhaps that was all you could ever be.
In that moment of closeness, you became acutely aware of your position, your hand still covering his mouth, his hands gently supporting you on your back. The atmosphere crackled with tension until it was broken by the rumble of his stomach. Flustered, you withdrew, your heart racing.
What in the world just happened...?
With a nervous bite of your lip, you dared to break the silence. "You uhh... haven't eaten either, have you?"
He shook his head bashfully, his eyes reflecting a mix of embarrassment and longing. "No, I haven't."
Oh, to hell with it.
You gestured towards the lunch he had brought. "Join me then."
Things had obviously shifted between you since then, and it did not go unnoticed by those around you. General Officer Song started coming by the medical hall at least once a week, no longer pretending to have an injury but simply to share lunch with you.
As friends.
That was what you told your friends, colleagues and every other palace staff whenever they tried to tease you. Yes, friends. That was all there was to it. All you both were ever going to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Just friends. Good friends. That was all you would allow… all you were allowed, really.
But you were happy with it. You had to be. It wasn't something you had a say in.
This was your life.
Mingi's visits became an oddly comforting routine. Every week, he would show up with a handmade lunch, and you would sit together, talking and laughing. The bond between you grew stronger, and although you constantly reminded yourself that you were just friends, there was an undeniable warmth in your interactions.
One afternoon, after the military strategist had patiently waited for you to finish caring for a patient, the two of you shared lunch in a quiet corner of the medical hall. He looked at you with a soft, contemplative expression. "You know," he began, "the first time I saw you, I thought you were the most admirable woman to exist. I'm glad I wasn't wrong. You really are an angel sent by the heavens."
You felt a flutter in your chest but quickly suppressed it, grinning softly. "Am I really? You know I'm not the only female physician around. The others are just as admirable."
Yes, but they're not you.
He nodded, though his eyes held a depth of emotion you couldn't quite decipher. "I suppose you're right," he said gently.
Not wanting to dwell on the serious atmosphere, you playfully nudged him on the shoulder. "Of course I am. I'm always right. And I bet you were a complete crybaby the day we first met, wailing like a child as you received treatment."
He scoffed, pressing a hand to his chest dramatically and feigning offence. "I was not. I'll have you know I was the most courageous soldier on site that day."
Brave enough to ask you out.
"Sure you were," you mocked sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Your heart warmed internally because he was right. You remembered how calm he was despite the pain he endured. But he could never know you remembered. Never. That would complicate things too much, and you didn't need that. Not now, not ever.
Things were perfect as they were.
Or were they?
Irked by your teasing, he swiftly reached out to snatch a piece of dumpling—your favourite—from your lunchbox and stuffed it into his mouth as revenge. You let out a surprised yelp, smacking him on the arm. "Wha—hey! That was my last piece! Give it back, Song Mingi!" Your laughter filled the space as you wrestled with him, his eyes disappearing into adorable slits as he hurriedly chewed on the dumpling, annoying you with it. He chortled, speaking through his mouth full, "Ha! That's what you get!"
The fun was abruptly cut short when the head of the royal physicians appeared at the doorway. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked, her tone light but curious.
You sputtered and shook your head, immediately pushing yourself off the tall man. "Absolutely not, ma'am. He was just about to leave. We're done eating," you said, glaring playfully at Mingi as he swallowed the last of your dumpling.
The military strategist bowed respectfully to the elderly woman, seizing the opportunity to escape your wrath. "I apologise for taking up so much of Royal Physician Ahn's time. I'll leave at once," he said.
She shook her head, smiling warmly. "Don't apologise. I'm not sure I've seen Physician Ahn this happy in a good while. Please stay for a bit more if you wish, Officer Song."
Both your cheeks grew warm at her words as Mingi scrambled to pack up his belongings and leave, clearly shy. "Thank you, ma'am, but I really shouldn't. Besides, I have training to attend as well."
With a final bow to you both, he was gone, leaving you standing there, your heart still racing from the sudden interruption and the unexpected compliment from your superior.
Head Physician Seo approached you, a knowing smile on her face. "You and General Officer Song seem really close. Are you sure there's nothing more going on?"
You laughed lightly, shaking your head. "We're good friends. That's all."
She raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. "Well, as long as you're happy. I'm glad you took my advice and allowed him in."
You nodded, reaffirming your own belief. "You were right, it's nice to have someone who genuinely understands and cares."
In the back of your mind, you couldn't ignore the ache of wanting something more, but you reminded yourself that this was your reality. And so, you continued to cherish the time spent with him, finding solace in the friendship that had blossomed between you.
As the weeks turned into months, the boundaries of your friendship were constantly tested. Every shared smile, every lingering glance, and every comforting touch made it harder to maintain the illusion. Deep down, you both knew what you had was special, even if you could never openly acknowledge it.
Despite the constraints, you found happiness in the moments you shared. Each lunch, each conversation, and each quiet moment of understanding reinforced the bond between you. The stolen glances when no one was looking, the way he would subtly take care of you, and the warmth that filled your heart when he was near—it all painted a picture of a love that couldn't be spoken.
In the silence of the night, when you lay awake thinking about him, you allowed yourself to dream of a different life. A life where societal expectations didn't dictate your choices, and you could be free to express your true feelings. But for now, those dreams remained just that—dreams.
You took comfort in the friendship that had become an integral part of your life. It was a bittersweet reality, but one you had come to accept. And in those precious moments you shared, you found a contentment that made the impossible feel almost within reach.
Meanwhile, Mingi found himself growing more hopeful with every step closer to you. Though it hurt to hear you remind everyone that what you shared was merely friendship, he was almost certain you returned his feelings. Yet, he didn’t want to make assumptions; he needed to hear it from you. He was prepared to wait a long time, even forever, as long as you continued to allow him to be near you. This closeness was already more than he had ever hoped for, and a part of him had accepted that this might be the way things were meant to be.
Being friends was better than nothing.
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Junghoon smirked before letting out a whine as his mentor hit him on the back.
"Shut up, kid. What do you know about love anyway? Taking advice from you nearly got me and her in trouble," Mingi grumbled.
The apprentice rolled his eyes, rubbing his back. "Oh, please, don't act like it didn't help you get close to her. I dare you to say you didn’t enjoy having her pressed up against you that day, keeping your mouth shut with her hand, all alone in her room—"
Mingi slapped a hand over the younger man’s mouth, eyes wide and face burning with embarrassment. "If you don't shut your trap right now, I'll tell His Majesty you’d like to quit and join the eunuchs."
That was all it took to silence Junghoon.
Truthfully, the apprentice was right, being close to you had made Mingi greedy for your affections. He often wondered what it would be like to have you willingly run into his arms. But the military strategist knew that was probably as far as he would ever get. Friends were not meant to be any closer than that, and he had come to accept it. If only you would stop making things more difficult.
One day, a soldier was seriously injured during training due to faulty weapons, and the royal medical hall was notified. You appeared at the training grounds with Subin beside you not long after, slightly out of breath as your eyes searched hastily for something or… someone. When you didn’t find who you were looking for, you blurted out, "Where's Officer Song? Is he okay?"
The soldiers greeting you furrowed their brows in confusion. "Officer Song…? Yes, he's fine. It's not him who got injured. Did someone tell you that by mistake?"
You sputtered messily, flustered for giving yourself away, while your childhood friend suppressed her giggle beside you. "O-oh, no... I just... I assumed it was him since he gets injured nearly every week. Never mind that, please take us to the injured soldier."
"Yes, my lady. Come with me."
Quickly, you followed the man, eyes glued to his back, not wanting to catch any knowing glances thrown your way. Unbeknownst to you, Song Mingi was hidden by a stand and had heard everything, struggling to keep the smile off his face at your concern. Were you thinking about him just as much as he thought about you? Were you worried about him? Did you... feel the same?
He desperately wanted to hear it from you but dared not ask the questions, fearing the answers you'd give him—answers that he knew would never reflect your true feelings. He watched you tend to the injured soldier from a distance, the smile lingering on his face, feeling a warmth that hadn’t been there before. Though it stung to always be reminded that what you shared was nothing more than friendship, he clung to the moments when your actions betrayed your words, showing a deeper, unspoken bond.
For now, he would be content with this.
Until he couldn't.
He arrived at the medical hall the next day with lunchboxes in hand, ready to spend time with you as usual. Instead, he was met with the devastating news that you had been dispatched to a plague-ridden village to provide assistance. His heart fell, and his world crumbled.
"I don't understand. What do you mean she's gone, my King? She was just here yesterday."
"Forget her, Officer Song. I told you it's impossible to be with her," said the ruler, rubbing a hand on his temple. "She volunteered to go without hesitation. I think you have your answer loud and clear. And as much I hate to say this, we're not sure she will return from this trip. Most physicians going on such missions are like soldiers going to war; they risk their lives and could be gone for months or even years. You deserve someone who can stay by your side."
The King's words cut deep, but Mingi's mind was a whirlwind of worry and despair. The thought of you in danger, far away, made it hard for him to breathe. The idea of losing you, of not knowing if you were safe or if you would ever come back, was unbearable.
"Where is this village, Your Majesty?"
The elderly man sighed deeply, shaking his head. "What will it take for you to give up? You'll only end up in pain, as if you haven't already been in enough pain. She has denied all your attempts from the start. Why do you do this to yourself, hm?"
Officer Song clenched his fists, his voice trembling with emotion. "Because love isn't about possession. Love is unconditional. I don't care if she will never accept my love in this life; I will continue to be there for her, to protect and care for her as long as I am alive. I'll be damned if I let her face all that danger on her own. So, I'm asking again, Your Majesty, where exactly is this village?"
The desperation in his voice was palpable, the rawness of his love laid bare. He would do anything, go anywhere, to ensure your safety. For the military strategist, there was no greater purpose than being there for you, no matter the cost.
Meanwhile, you struggled to keep yourself together as you arrived at the terror-stricken village. The place had been overtaken by a sudden, rapidly spreading disease, claiming lives at a frightening pace. Violently woken in the middle of the night by Head Physician Seo, you joined the royal physicians gathered in the main hall to hear the grim news. Guri, the very village where you and Subin had lost everything, was now cursed with another wave of illness, intent on wiping out the population and destroying families again.
But you were stronger now.
You would rather die trying than let more innocent villagers endure what you did all those years ago. This time, you were capable of saving lives. Without a second thought, you and your friend volunteered to go. It wasn't until you were in the carriage that you remembered a certain Officer Song. Crestfallen, you realised that perhaps this was all for the best. Maybe, with your absence, he could finally move on and find someone with whom he could have a future, instead of being held back by you.
And you... you would be doing the very thing you had trained for all your life. There was no time to dwell on matters of the heart.
Forget him, lives are at stake.
As you arrived in Guri, the sight was both familiar and heartbreaking. The streets were eerily quiet, with only the occasional sound of distant weeping or the hollow coughs of the afflicted. You, Subin, and the rest of the royal physicians immediately set to work; assessing the situation and organising the sick villagers for treatment.
"Help my mother, please!"
"It hurts, make it stop!"
"I don't want to die yet... I'm scared."
Doing your best to calm the terrified villagers, your mind was a whirlwind of medical procedures and strategies to contain the spread. Every moment was a battle against time, a race to save as many lives as possible. But amidst the chaos, thoughts of Mingi lingered at the edge of your mind. His gummy smile, his stupidly cute laughter, the way his eyes lit up when he saw you—they all haunted you, a bittersweet reminder of what you had left behind.
Sometimes, it felt like those thoughts of him were the only thing keeping you going. Nearly a week had passed, and the situation had only slightly improved. With minimal sleep and just enough food to keep you alive, you worked tirelessly to tend to the sick. All the while, you wished you had a certain tall, handsome, and silly strategist to help lighten the constantly heavy atmosphere. At this point, you had lost count of the times you had imagined him by your side. The imagination could be so vivid, you were convinced you were hallucinating from the immense lack of rest.
"Need a hand, my lady?"
You froze, your actions of reaching for the top shelf of the makeshift clinic for some medicine halted at the familiar voice that had been haunting your well-being for the past week. Shit, were you hearing things now? Surely, it was the sleep deprivation acting up.
It can't be.
But then, you turned around, and there he was. General Officer Song, standing in the doorway, looking just as real and solid as ever. His eyes held a mix of concern and determination, and he was carrying a medical kit of his own.
"Mingi?" you whispered, almost afraid that speaking his name would shatter the illusion.
He stepped closer, a gentle smile on his face. "Yes, it's me. I'm here."
To his surprise, you were angry when you realised it was really him and not just a hallucination. "What… in the world are you doing here?" you questioned, your voice filled with frustration and disbelief.
His smile fell. "I came to help—"
You cut him off. "This isn't a joke, Song Mingi! This is serious. People are dying! You shouldn't be here just because you wish to keep pursuing me or anything stupid!"
His expression hardened with determination. "That's exactly why I'm here—because I can't lose you!"
You were left speechless, grappling with the rush of emotions at his sudden presence as well as his words. You felt conflicted, overwhelmed by the happiness that he was really here in the flesh, anger at his recklessness, fear for his survival, and frustration because you wanted so badly to run to him but knew you could not.
After what felt like an eternity, you sighed and tossed him a handkerchief. "Cover your nose and mouth with this at all times. Since you're here, make yourself useful. Get that bag of herbs and come with me. We have no time to waste."
As he opened his mouth to speak, you shot him a warning glare. "Save your breath. If you do not intend to work, please leave."
With a firm nod, he complied, grabbing the bag of herbs and following you into the chaos. Despite the tension, having him there added a strange sense of comfort and determination, and together, you continued to fight the disease that had plagued Guri.
The entire day passed by in a blur, just like the previous ones. There was not a moment of respite as you rushed around, with Mingi following you obediently, doing as he was told without question. Subin and your other colleagues raised surprised brows at his presence, but the situation left no room for teasing or questions.
At the end of the day, even when things had calmed down a little and most villagers were asleep, your work was far from done. You sat by the bed of a small child who was badly affected by the disease, your tired hands rinsing and wringing a towel repeatedly, wiping the sweat from his tiny head over and over to ensure his fever didn’t worsen. Mingi remained by your side, watching you care for the child.
Sensing your lethargic movements, he gently offered, "Here, let me do it." He reached out for the cloth, and you gave in, handing it to him. He took your spot, and you moved aside to make space for him on the bed, finally having the opportunity to take a good look at him since his arrival.
His face was etched with concern and determination, his usual playful demeanour replaced by a steadfast resolve. He worked with a quiet intensity, carefully tending to the child as if his life depended on it. The sight filled you with a mixture of emotions—gratitude, admiration, and a touch of sorrow.
"You shouldn't have come," you whispered, the weight of the day's events pressing down on you. "But... thank you."
He glanced at you, his eyes softening. "I had to. I couldn’t just stay behind knowing you were here, facing this alone."
You sighed, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I'm sorry for the harsh words I said. I was just... worried about you. I still am."
"And I was worried about you," he replied, his voice firm yet gentle. "We’re in this together now. We'll get through it."
Shaking your head, you squeezed your eyes shut. "It's not going to be easy. You don't understand… this, Mingi. This village was once my home. I was born here, and for the first few years of my life, I had a family. Until a plague, one similar to this one, broke out, taking my parents and siblings, leaving me with nothing," you explained, your voice breaking as you finally revealed your past.
He sat, shell-shocked, learning about your tragic history for the first time. He hadn’t known you had endured such a tough life, and it only strengthened his affection and admiration for you. You were even stronger than he had perceived.
"And that's why I was so afraid of seeing you here," you continued, your voice trembling. "Because I… I can't lose you too."
His breath hitched at your words, a moment of silence enveloping the room before he dared to cover your hand gently with his bigger one, whispering a soft, "Really?"
Embarrassed, you cleared your throat and nodded, avoiding his eyes. "Yes, because you're a good friend to me."
He chuckled, nodding in defeat. "Right, of course." He knew better than to expect anything more by now. He was just glad you no longer pushed him away.
That was all that mattered.
The following days settled into the same gruelling routine, but your shoulders undeniably felt lighter with Mingi's presence. His unwavering support and the arrival of the physicians who had raised you and Subin provided much-needed relief. Their presence brought a sense of comfort and familiarity.
On a slower day, the military strategist sat with one of the senior physicians, assisting with brewing medicine. Catching the tall man's eyes glued to your busy figure in the next room, Kyungsoo, who had been like an older brother to you, smiled and remarked, "Quite the workaholic, isn't she? Nothing can stop her from working. She's been that way for as long as we can all remember."
"She really is," Officer Song replied.
Through your mentors, he learned more about your childhood years. Kyungsoo shared stories of how hard you had worked and studied to get where you were, all to repay them for taking you in. Mingi now saw the depth of your dedication and the sacrifices you had made to become the renowned royal physician you are today.
As he watched you tirelessly care for the villagers, a realisation struck him. It might be selfish to want to tie you down in marriage just because he thought he loved you. If he truly loved you, he should let you do what you loved. You had fought so hard to achieve your dreams; how could he possibly take that away from you?
His heart ached as he finally understood the wisdom in His Majesty's words. Maybe you really were not meant to be, not in this life. Perhaps in the next, he thought to himself, his eyes lingering on you with a mixture of admiration and sorrow.
For now, he would support you in the best way he could—by standing by your side, helping you save lives, and cherishing the moments you shared. Because that, he realised, was also a form of love.
You've won, my King. I yield.
You had somehow felt the distance Mingi seemed to be putting between you, no matter how minuscule. You were hyper-aware of him, always had been, so this change, despite how small and unnoticed by the rest, bothered you more than you cared to admit. Was he growing tired of this? Of you? Perhaps he was realising how impossible it was to reach you and was giving up.
And who could blame him, really?
He deserved to be free; free to love another, to love someone who could give him so much more, all the things you never could.
"Hey, everything okay?" Subin asked, noting how you had nearly disposed of a new bandage instead of a used one.
You snapped out of your thoughts, apologising for the mistake as you rubbed your eyes. "Oh, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."
She sighed, squeezing your shoulder. "It's Officer Song, isn't it?"
You stilled. "Huh? I-I don't know what you're talking about—"
She rolled her eyes, cutting you off. "Save it, unnie. I'm tired of hiding it from you. He's already received permission from His Majesty to pursue you. That's why he's been so bold in his attempts. If you feel the same way about him, then please, for the love of god, stop putting yourself and him through this nonsense any longer."
Your heart pounded as her words sank in. "Permission from His Majesty?" you echoed, disbelief and confusion in your voice.
She nodded firmly. "Yes, my dear friend. He's been allowed to court you on one condition—only if you willingly agree to it. That’s why he’s here, risking his life. He’s doing it all for you. If you care about him even a fraction of how much he cares about you, you need to let him know. This back-and-forth is tearing both of you apart."
You swallowed hard, grappling with the revelation. It felt as if a door had opened, one you had convinced yourself was forever locked.
"But Subin-ah... what if he realises I'm not worth the effort?" you whispered, voicing your deepest fear.
Her eyes softened. "That's not for you to decide. Let him make his own choices. If he’s here, fighting for you, it means you are worth everything to him. Don’t push him away because of your own insecurities. Give him—give yourself—a chance."
Before you could process her words, chaos erupted as sudden screams filled the air, panicked villagers running in all directions. You rushed outside to see what was happening, your heart pounding in your chest. Amid the commotion, you finally caught on to someone yelling, "Fire! Fire! There's a fire in the kitchen!"
Gasping, you spotted billowing black smoke rising from a hut at the back, where the kitchen was situated. Turning to Subin with wide eyes, you began, "I-isn't that where—"
She nodded before you could finish, confirming your fears. "Officer Song and Kyungsoo oppa were brewing medicine!"
Without a second thought, you sprinted towards the kitchen, your mind racing. The heat and smoke intensified with each step closer. Villagers and fellow physicians frantically attempted to extinguish the flames with buckets of water, but the fire raged on.
"Kyungsoo oppa! Mingi-yah!" you shouted, your voice trembling with fear and urgency.
Amid the thick smoke, Kyungsoo stumbled out alone, coughing violently. You rushed to him, desperation gripping your heart. "O-oppa, where is he? Where's Song Mingi?!"
Pointing towards the kitchen, nearly engulfed in flames, the senior physician gasped, "That fool's still in there. He insists on saving the medicine. We need to get him out, now!"
Your heart pounded with dread. "I'll go!" But Kyungsoo grabbed your arm, panic in his eyes. "No, it's too dangerous—"
Ignoring his warning, you darted inside.
Your heart plummeted when you spotted Mingi foolishly attempting to salvage the pot of medicine. "Stop, you idiot! Leave it!" He froze at the sound of your voice, turning to see you. "What are you doing here? Get out, the place is falling apart!"
Rushing up to him, you desperately tugging on his arm. "Not without you!" Yielding to your urgency, he abandoned the medicine and turned to leave with you. But dread washed over him as he noticed the fragile beam above you, threatening to collapse at any moment. Time seemed to slow as he pushed you towards the exit just in time for the debris to crash down in front of him, trapping him inside.
Your cries echoed as you saw him trapped. "No!" He managed a weak smile, feeling the smoke filling his lungs. "I'm sorry, my lady." Tears streamed down your face as you screamed for help, men rushing to save him. Kyungsoo and Subin restrained you, their grip firm as you thrashed against their hold.
"It's okay, he'll be okay," they repeated, their assurances failing to ease the turmoil in your heart. When they finally emerged, carrying his unconscious body, relief washed over you, but it was quickly replaced by a profound sense of guilt and regret.
God, you were such a fool. How could you have been so blind to his importance in your life? Why did you take him for granted, making him wait for so long?
"Wake up, Song Mingi! Please, listen to me," you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. "I remembered everything, okay? I never forgot about you, not for a single moment. I'm sorry for lying, for pushing you away. But I accept it now—I want to be with you. Please... don't leave me."
Amidst your sobs against his chest, you halted as you felt his hand tenderly stroking your head. Lifting your gaze to meet his, you found him smiling weakly down at you.
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear those words," he murmured softly.
"So, that's your secret, huh? Faking your own death to get the girl?" Junghoon quipped, wearing a mischievous grin. Mingi let out an exasperated sigh and playfully smacked the younger man on the back of the head. "Faked my death? I nearly died," he retorted.
Junghoon raised a sceptical brow. "Yes, but did you die though?"
"I swear to god, you rascal—" Mingi's fist hovered in the air threateningly until you appeared, hands on your hips.
"Excuse me, no violence is permitted in the medical hall. If you two want to settle this, take it to the training grounds," you scolded.
The military strategist turned to you with a pout, attempting to play innocent. "But, my angel, I brought you lunch."
You rolled your eyes. "Alright. What's Junghoonie doing here then?"
The apprentice eagerly showed you his sprained ankle. "I actually got hurt, noona. Unlike someone, I don't fake my injuries."
Before Mingi could retaliate, you quickly summoned a colleague to tend to Junghoon, then dragged your idiot away, much to his chagrin. "That's enough, you baby."
"Yes, I'm your baby."
A month had passed since the plague in the village was eradicated. It was after the fire, that you managed to find a quiet moment with Mingi and poured out your heart to him. To your surprise, he didn't immediately respond with joy.
"Are you sure this is what you truly want?" he had asked, his expression serious. "Because I could never ask you to choose me over your career if it's more important to you."
His words struck a chord deep within you, revealing the depth of his love and understanding. He wasn't seeking to possess you but to ensure your happiness, even if it meant letting you go.
In that moment, you realised that this man was worth loving, worth everything. He had waited patiently for years, only to ask you that question when he finally had you.
In response, you didn't need to speak. Your answer was a simple and direct kiss to his lips, conveying all your love, gratitude, and certainty in that one tender moment.
Upon your return from Guri, you promptly sought an audience with His Majesty. There, you expressed your desire to be with Mingi. Needless to say, the soft-hearted King who had been secretly rooting for you both did not take too long to agree.
Granting you the freedom to be courted by the military strategist, the King also bestowed his blessing for marriage, should you both deem it the right path. With a sense of relief, you exchanged grateful glances with your lover. It marked the beginning of a new chapter, brimming with hope and love, as you eagerly anticipated embarking on this journey together.
"I still can't believe you're meant to be the coolest and most renowned military strategist in all of Joseon. If only the people knew what an adorable little princess you could be," you chuckled, playfully feeding Mingi a spoonful of rice as he attempted to fashion you a new handkerchief, boasting about his newfound skills learned from his dressmaker friend.
"Oh wow, is that really how you thank your devoted future husband, who's putting all this effort into making something special for you?" he teased, his eyes sparkling with affection as he reached for another piece of cloth, determined to create something perfect for you.
You snickered mischievously. "Alright, princess, how about this? You handle the cooking and cleaning, and I'll be the queen of the castle, bringing home the gold. Deal?"
He stared at you, unamused. Leaning in, you stole a kiss from his lips, and in that moment, his resistance melted away. "Ugh fine, I suppose that doesn't sound too bad," he admitted with a playful sigh.
Anything for you, my angel.
You couldn't contain your laughter at his surrender, eagerly returning his affection as he leaned in for another kiss.
Sometimes, it's astonishing how, despite years of separation, no matter how distant you've become or how impossible it seemed to reunite, you always find each other again. It's as if your paths were meant to intersect once more, as though guided by the stars.
You were destined to find each other.
Lord, I did not plan for this to be so long. I'm so sorry this part took like a thousand years and I sincerely hope it was decent! I've managed to include all the details I came up with but am somehow not too happy with the delivery (then again, when am I not unsatisfied with my own work lmfao).
More importantly, I cannot believe I now have 2k followers😭 thank you all so much! I cannot wait to finish Jongho and Yeosang's spinoffs and then work on more new stuff!
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3
Pairing: Rich adult Hongjoong x reader
Summary: You've always had expensive taste. So when you meet a gorgeous older man in a bar with the most ravenous feline eyes and diabolical smile, you can't resist the urge to taste him. You let him take you back to his place and give you the most unforgettable night of your life.
Genre / Au / Trope : Smut, S2L, One Night Stand!AU, Luxurious! AU
Rating: 18+ / 21+ / MDNI
Word count: 9.2k
Warnings: Older Hongjoong (36)/younger reader (20) unprotected sex, degrading, pet names, size kink, dirty talk, explicit sexual content, explicit language, oral, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, сreampie, rough sex, rough oral, power play, praise kink, face fucking, explicit sexual content, explicit language, squirting, and more.
net: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity @newworldnet
A|N: It seems we need someone older, little bunnies, don't you think? God, I just love this. I'm so happy to be immersed in the luxurious and unbelievably dirty atmosphere of wealth and sex again. And Hongjoong has been on my mind a lot lately. So, bunnies, here I am, feeding you delicious and vulgar things, just the way we like it.
ℌ𝔬𝔩𝔶 𝔅𝔲𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔗𝔞𝔤 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 Part I @tiny-apocalypse @captain-joongz @alicedawitchbish @woohwababes @wlv-asteria @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisprincesss @lavishloving @teagietots @spooo00oky @sousydive @hwapou @bunnliix @softwsan @mjyungi @fantasy2wonderland @noirsfantasy @cassies-cookies @renaholicss @luffypants @hyukssunflower @watermelon2319 @peachygiku @bunnyxoxodarling @stolasisyourparent @soranosnowbunny @certifiedmoa @sanglix @slvtiny @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @hecateslittlewitchling @xxawl @pastellbunno @starlletsblog @seonghwasstar @hwanring @vtyb23 @pearltinyy @minjaeum @chasevixx @bomi-ja @onedumbho3 @sanglix @cursedeastern @itza-meee @pinkies-things @atinism @mxnsxngie @nenefix-on @therealcuppicake @annafeebou @sharksandminhos @@lixies-pixieboy @@vampzity @0rangemilk @yellow-foxxing
ℌ𝔬𝔩𝔶 𝔅𝔲𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔗𝔞𝔤 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 Part II @unholywriters @hey-syia @hrts4nohee @vnessalau @mlink64 @tessakleine @fr34k4c1dr41n @313hwa @lilyuwon @tiziamattaga @un-knew @wiaxul @siyah-staryis @seonghwasbbgirl
It was not like you at all to agree to go home with some random guy from the bar that you'd just met.
But Kim Hongjoong wasn't just any guy; no, he was an adult, absolutely gorgeous, rich man with a hundred diamond-carat Rolex glittering on his wrist and a devilish grin on his scarlet sensual lips. The kind of lips you want to feel against your skin.
Hongjoong was no ordinary guy whose face you could barely remember the morning after a wild night out. He was the man you'd always dreamed of, the man you'd always wanted, and frankly, the man every girl wanted. An absolute wet dream, dressed in a black Armani suit.
All night long, you felt the weight of the dark, predatory gaze of his feline eyes, the intensity of which burned through your skin, even through the dress you wore tonight. The fleeting interest you had in each other had grown into something much more. And now he was toying with you like a hunter with his prey. But in your case, you wanted to be caught by this man, perhaps too much for your own good.
He was expensive in every way—his clothes, his looks, his behaviour—and you were desperate for a taste of this expensive luxury. You wanted to have a taste of him on your tongue. You wanted to pour his luxurious nature into crystal bottles and drink it down as he fucked you into oblivion. And as you looked at him in the semi-darkness of the bar, it was clear to you that this man was going to be quite unsweet, and that fact only turned you on even more.
But it wasn't just that. It was everything about him that fueled your lust and made you feel the wet heat between your legs.
There was everything about him that spoke of experience and authority, a power that no pretty boy in your philosophy class could ever hope to possess. He was mature, dominant, and rough around the edges. And you wanted nothing more than for him to be the one who fucked you tonight. You wanted to be with someone older, someone who knew how to treat you the right way.
As you walked back to the bar after a quick smoke with a friend, you hadn't expected to find yourself face-to-face with him. The scattered yellowish light from the street lamps played in his platinum blonde hair, and it was at that moment that you knew you'd do anything to get what you wanted so badly.
Not your league, not your age, not your style—he was your golden ticket to heaven. So when he offered to take you back to his place, you didn't think twice about immediately agreeing.
He smelled like money, sex, whisky, and luxury, and this intoxicating mixture of flavours invaded all of your senses, causing your head to spin a little and warm moisture to build up between your thighs. Your little game of seduction was over; you were the ones who initiated the hunt, but he was the winner, and now you were completely in his power, ready to be on your knees in total submission.
As soon as his dark, feline eyes met your big, shining ones and demanded your full attention, you fell into his trap. He leaned in close to your face, invading your personal space completely, and lifted your chin up with his long forefinger so that all you had to do was look at him. You couldn't help but notice how long and thick his lashes were, framing the onyx gleam of his irises, and how sensual his plump, slightly parted lips were, now curved into a seductive grin.
There was a sexy, beautiful maturity in the sharp features of his face. None of the puppy tenderness you were so used to seeing in boys your age. It was so new and so damn attractive that, for a moment, you were left breathless by the wave of excitement that was washing over you. And the devilish spark that danced in the depths of his eyes didn't help you at all; if he were to keep looking at you like that, you would have turned into a puddle of lust right where you were standing.
"Is there something that you want from me, kitten?" His voice is hoarse and sultry, like pure gold drenched in poison. It has a dangerous, demonic tone, is full of the most sinful promises imaginable, and it only attracts you more. Like moths to a flame. The air between you crackles with tension and desire, and you can barely utter a word.
"I wanted..." You mutter—another thing that's completely unlike you. But you can't gather your thoughts as you stare at the breathtakingly handsome man in front of you. Never before in your life have you felt such a strong desire for any guy as you do for this man at this very moment.
Oh God.
The aura around him is so dominant, and you swallow in anticipation. All of your self-confidence evaporates completely as soon as the pointed tip of his tongue slides across his plump lower lip, leaving it wet and glistening with saliva. You can feel yourself starting to sweat; you're so hot and so needy right now.
A storm is about to break, and you want to be right in its midst.
"What's the matter, kitten? Did the cat eat your tongue?" His words were accompanied by a wicked twist of a grin on his face. He was amused, to be sure, but there was something else dancing in the depths of his slanted eyes beyond that. It was an emotion that you could not decipher, but something told you that it could hardly be described as holy.
This man was clearly aware of the overwhelming effect he was having on you. And judging by the expression on his face, it gave him an indescribable amount of pleasure.
"Hmm... perhaps you would like something to drink? With me...". God, you have made such a fool of yourself. The man's grin at your words was just that much bigger. He leaned in even closer to you, his wet lips touching the soft, sensitive skin on your ear with every word he said.
"How tempting that sounds, my kitten. But I think I can offer you something much better. How about I take you back to my house, and you let me drink the champagne right off your pretty, sexy body? Then I'm going to fuck you till dawn until you're stupid and obedient to me. Would you want that, kitty?" He purred in your ear as he ran his finger down the length of your neck until it dipped into the deep neckline of your cleavage.
You let out a low, pitiful moan as everything he does sends signals straight down the nerves that control your cunt. A palpable shiver runs down your spine, and you can feel your pussy clenching at nothing as his words take shape in your mind. The image of that tongue and those sinful lips gliding over your body as he licks off the sparkling golden champagne that you were sure would be obscenely expensive and taste exquisite is practically making you come without even touching yourself.
Without hesitating for a second, you nod in agreement with everything he has told you, and soon you find yourself sitting in the leather seat of his car, with the possessive touch of his hand on your bare thigh. As his fingers, adorned with massive silver rings, dig into your soft flesh, you swallow hard as you see the veins under his skin swell and pulsate.
You want to spread your legs wider and let him see how wet and ready you are for him, but you bite your lip, holding back the urge to retain some semblance of your dignity. Boys your age have never made your body react like this before, and it almost frightens you, but at the same time, it makes you want this man all the more.
It doesn't take long to get to his house, but for you, it feels like forever. During the drive, you find out that the gorgeous man's name is Kim Hongjoong and that he's a music producer, which makes you wonder how talented his fingers are at handling pussy. Aren't all musicians pretty damn good at fingering? Hongjoong is going to be no exception; you can be sure of that.
That's the only thought that stays in your head the whole time you drive out, as the feel of his hot touch on your bare skin literally melts your brain and makes you so soft and pliable for him.
The air in the car is becoming unbearably heavy with the excess sexual energy, and you are on the verge of choking to death. Just as you're thinking about starting to beg him to fuck you right there in the back seat of his car, he lets you know that you've arrived.
Hongjoong's house—luxurious, expensive, and modern, with lots of glass and metal—was a complete reflection of his personality and style. A marble-tiled swimming pool with soft lighting and a green maze garden lay behind the house. As expected, Hongjoong had exceptionally refined and expensive tastes in everything.
You were standing in front of the huge picture window in the master bedroom of the house, and your eyes were fixed on the glowing water of the swimming pool. It helped to ease your nerves now that you were alone with Hongjoong, far away from the prying eyes and the noise of the city. He slowly approaches you like a big cat of prey and hands you a tall glass of sparkling champagne. As you stare at the dancing particles of air and liquid, Hongjoong's earlier words come back to you, and you bite your lower lip to keep yourself from moaning out loud.
His hot breath hits the sensitive skin of your neck as his strong arms wrap around you from behind. Fingers adorned with massive silver rings dig into the soft curves of your body with great force. Behind you, Hongjoong is moaning in satisfaction as he squeezes you even tighter into his arms.
"Well, hello, my little kitty." He purrs sensually into your ear before one of his hands moves the hair from your shoulder, just to leave a long, wet, open-mouthed kiss on your skin.
Hongjoong's hands slide down your body in a possessive way until they find their place on your ample, luscious thighs. He presses you harder and harder against his body, and even through the tight fabric of his designer suit, you can feel the embossed muscles of his chest and the tightness of his abs. His fingers start to knead your thighs roughly; his grip is so tight that you're sure you'll be bruised in the morning, and in fact, you wanted him to leave as many of his marks on you as possible.
"You should try the champagne, my princess; you were so eager to have a drink with me. Weren't you?" His voice is pure darkness wrapped in velvet as he purrs against your skin. The seductive huskiness of his words sends shivers down your spine, and you tilt your head to the side to give him a little more access to kiss you. Hongjoong mooed contentedly and pulled you closer to him so that his hips were now pressed up against your plump bum. Oh, fuck. This position gives you the chance to feel his cock very clearly; it's hard, big, and thick in its girth, and you know that it's going to stretch you out in the most glorious way.
"Yes, that's what I wanted, sir." It's an experiment; you're just testing the dynamic between the two of you. You whimper as his teeth sink into the sensitive flesh of your neck, and it's a sign to you that you've hit the mark.
You definitely do not want to disappoint Hongjoong, so you obediently follow his order and bring the champagne glass to your lips, taking a little sip. Your head spins slightly as the exquisite taste of the expensive alcohol tingles your tongue.
"Such an obedient kitten, just the way I like it." His praise makes you feel even more sticky and wet in your panties. You've never been praised sexually before, and you've only guessed at your penchant for being praised and acknowledged during sex. You've always had a desire to learn more about this kinky part of your nature, but you've never had the opportunity to do so.
But it seems tonight will be the night.
Hongjoong's hot, soft lips continue to plant passionate kisses on your neck and shoulders. Your eyes roll with pleasure as he pulls the skin between his lips, leaving a purple hickey. He slips a finger under the strap of your tight dress and begins to slowly slide it down, exposing your plump tits.
"Mmm, you're so tender, kitty." The man says as he touches your breasts with his fingertips, and from this lightest touch, hot desire runs through your veins, and you unconsciously rub your arse on his cock, making Hongjoong let out the sexiest moan deep in his throat.
As your dress fell to your thighs and you stood half-naked in front of the huge window in Hongjoong's bedroom, your nipples tensed against the cool air in the room. You were displayed like a sparkling diamond, belonging to him alone now, and knowing that made your heart beat faster.
So far from the city and behind the high fence of his mansion, you had your doubts that anyone would be able to see you in such an inappropriate way, but you had the wish that it was possible. You wanted all the boys who'd been in love with you to be able to see this adult, breathtakingly handsome man fuck you so stupidly and so hard that none of them would ever be able to do it.
Hongjoong's hands cupped your boob in a possessive way, holding their heavy weight in the palms of his hands before he began to massage the soft flesh roughly. The silver of his jewelled rings scratched lightly across your skin, leaving reddened marks. Your breasts had always been quite sensitive, and you knew that you could easily come just by stimulating your nipples, but all your previous boyfriends had never paid much attention to that. But Hongjoong, hell, this man knew exactly how to treat you—how to make you whimper and beg.
"Please... Sir..." You moan loudly and eagerly as his fingers run expertly over your sensitive, swollen nipples, and the wetness between your legs becomes more and more intense. Your juices are seeping through the thin lace of your panties and are literally dripping out of your pussy, and you are desperate for Hongjoong to fill the aching void inside of you with his thick cock as quickly as possible. Your hand that holds the champagne glass is trembling and threatens to spill the golden sparkling liquid all over the marble floor, and Hongjoong notices it with a dark chuckle.
"Look at you, Princess; you're trembling all over. My sweet little kitty is so sensitive." His tongue sticks out to lick the long stripe on your neck, and you gasp in surprise as the soft touch is replaced by his sharp teeth, branding your skin.
But it's only a distraction, because the next second you're backed against the cold window glass, and Hongjoong's sensual lips finally meet yours in a scalding kiss. Oh shit. He growls in a low voice against your lips, one of his hands wrapped roughly around your neck, squeezing it with palpable pain, and the sound that comes out of you is something between a sob and a moan. Those soft lips are pressed tightly against yours in a kiss that is hungry and cruel. His mouth is insistent and demanding; every movement is a sign of experience and power - he doesn't cajole you - Hongjoong takes what is rightfully his.
His thumb burrows into the skin of your neck, turning the touch into a rough grip, and his tongue winds between your lips, compelling you to open your mouth for him.
Once you let it in, you shudder at the sensual, hot sensation as Hongjoong's tongue runs over your palate and your teeth, licking the inside of your cheeks and wrapping it around your tongue like a snake. God, you've never been kissed like this before. Usually it's a slobbering mess with lipstick smeared all over your face, but Hongjoong clearly knows how to make your knees buckle with just one kiss, and you're afraid to imagine what else that sinful mouth is capable of.
Now you're absolutely sure he's going to fuck your brains out.
You moan with wanton need as he presses his fingers harder and harder against your throat, and the glass of champagne slips from your hand and shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces of crystal, glittering with rainbow-coloured tears in the dimly lit bedroom.
"Hongjoong..." The moaning of his name was so desperate, so needy, and so full of lust and desire.
"Damn it, kitten. I love it when you moan my name, but I love it even more when you address me properly. Will you be able to do that for me, Princess?"
"Yes, Sir, I will."
Hongjoong kisses you with renewed fury, biting your lips almost to the point of blood. He's so passionate, so unique, tasting like dark chocolate with red pepper, and you want more and more; right now this gorgeous man is licking your mouth with his tongue and literally pushing it down your throat.
He kisses you like he's dying of thirst, and you're the only way to satiate that vital need. The saliva is running down your chin; it's wet and dirty, but you can't stop. You don't want to stop. Hongjoong's tongue practically fucks you in the mouth. Your hands reach for the collar of his designer shirt and start to unbutton it hastily. He laughs against your lips as you whimper, frustrated at not being able to make it right. Your fingers are trembling too much with excitement and impatience.
"Shhh, kitten, let me help you." He pulls his hands away from your body just so he can take off his jacket and shirt, tossing the expensive designer stuff aside with a dismissive air as if it were completely worthless, but the embroidered name labels you notice tell you otherwise.
Your touches on each other grow more desperate by the second; his skin is smooth and soft under your fingers, but underneath you can feel the strain of muscles that have been trained for years. This man is pure porn, as sexy as Hell itself, and you want to burn up in his flames without leaving a trace behind.
"Please... Sir." You catch your breath as Hongjoong's hand wraps around your neck once more. You are completely unaware of what you're asking him to do. The excitement and the lust are making your brain look like mush and are setting your skin on fire.
The only thing that matters to you right now is that Hongjoong keeps touching you. You want to feel him all over you. You feel like he's got every cell in your body burning, and only his touch can make you feel better.
At your pitiful plea, Hongjoong's feline eyes seemed to grow even darker and more predatory than they could have been, and that should have frightened you, but instead, lust coursed through your veins and a palpable shiver ran through your body. He was looking at you as if he wanted to eat you alive, and you were more than happy to let him do it.
"Oh, my beautiful little kitten. Are you going to be an obedient little girl for me?" Your pussy clenched, and you nodded your head affirmatively in response to his sultry purr.
"Yes, I will be an obedient girl for you, Sir." His scarlet, sensual lips curve insidiously into a wide, devilish grin as he kneels before you. Hongjoong slides the soft fabric of your dress down your legs until you are standing in front of him in nothing more than a lace thong. He wraps his arm around your ankle and then tosses it over his shoulder as well.
For some reason, this pose feels so obscene and dirty to you, and you blush to a deep red, especially when your gaze falls on his face. There is something unjustly handsome about his features, and it almost makes you want to cry. God, this man was beyond your comprehension.
Your hands get tangled in his platinum, perfectly styled hair, and you pull lightly on the soft strands as Hongjoong bites down on the soft skin on the inside of your thigh before his sharp nose nestles up against your pussy and he takes a slow, deep breath.
"God, your scent is so sweet, kitten." He breathed out. The sound of his voice caressed your skin like liquid silk. "But I bet your cunt tastes even sweeter." His dark, hungry eyes look up at you through long, fluffy lashes.
For the second time that night, you find yourself caught in his feline gaze, watching in fascination as Hongjoong leans his gorgeous face forward and licks a long, tantalising strip down the length of your cunt through the thin lace of your thong. The indirect touch of his tongue on your throbbing, swollen clit makes you let out a loud whimper, your knees almost buckling at the slight caress.
"I... sir..." You feel, rather than see, the curve of his beautiful, soft lips in a sly grin before he repeats his action, once again running his tongue along your clothed slit, this time deliberately flicking the sharp tip of his tongue over your clit. You tremble under the skilled touch of his mouth on your warm pussy as Hongjoong continues rubbing his tongue against the lacework of your thong, leaving thick and viscous trails of saliva on them.
"Look at you, kitten; your cunt is soaking wet. You're so juicy and so ready for me. Tell me, princess, what do you want from me?" Hongjoong whispers and pushes your panties aside. His fingers spread your labia, allowing the cool air of the room to cool your hot and sticky flesh slightly. Hongjoong's feline eyes are predatorily narrowing at the sight of your small, throbbing clit and the way your tight hole is trembling with the need to be filled with something. "Come on, kitty, tell me what you want so badly. Don't be shy." Hongjoong's sensual lips are parted by his heavy breathing, and he swallows hard as he sees your hole clenching at nothing and spurting a thick, viscous drop of your sweet essence. Damn it, it's literally dripping off of you.
He rolls his eyes and moans lewdly; his Adam's apple swayed, and the veins in his neck swelled with tension. The sound that he's making is almost pornographic. His hard-on twitches painfully as it presses hard against the fabric of his trousers, but Hongjoong ignores it for the moment.
"Hongjoong..." You whimper. Your whimper turns into a loud squeal as his fingers dig roughly into the tender flesh of your thigh, leaving stinging red marks from his nails on your skin, and he lets out a deep growl that you can feel in the folds of your cunt. It makes you realise what you've done, and you immediately try to correct it. "Sir, I'm so sorry. I'll be better."
"That's right, kitty, you should behave better, and I'm still waiting for your answer." Hongjoong's hot breath flows around your sensitive pussy with every word he says.
"Your mouth...I want your mouth and your tongue, sir...please..." Your thighs are trembling a little from all the attention that this luxurious man is giving you at the moment. "Please, sir, use your mouth. I want you to eat my cunt."
"Oh, my beautiful, precious girl, I promise you. I will take good care of you. So good that you won't even remember your name." Hongjoon purrs in a velvety voice as his dark and hungry eyes devour your pretty pink cunt. You look like an exquisite delicacy to him, and he is eager to taste your juicy sweetness.
You sob pitifully in response to his words, your body obviously enjoying the way he is addressing you as more and more viscous slime oozes out of your sensitive pussy. God, what this man is doing to you now is nothing compared to any of the men you've ever fucked in your life.
You can't hold back a loud, prolonged moan as he pulls you closer to his handsome face, pressing your soaking wet cunt to his greedy, scarlet lips. The tip of his tongue slides expertly between your folds before he runs it along the delicate edges of your small, tight hole, tasting the flesh of your cunt and the nectar-sweetness of your juices.
"Fuck, kitten," Hongjoon growled. "The taste of your pussy is divine to me." The man doesn't hesitate to plunge his gorgeous face even deeper, literally burying himself between your thighs, his sharp nose poking at your clit as he hungrily lavishes on your aching, oozing hole.
"Sir!" You squeal as the searing heat of his gorgeous mouth envelops your plump little pussy in its entirety.
Hongjoong pulled the small, reddened bud into his mouth and began to suck it roughly, milking your overly sensitive bunch of nerves with his gorgeous lips. When you sob and squirm in his grip, he lets go of your clit with a loud pop and instead licks another long strip along your throbbing cunt.
He moans wantonly and somehow desperately into your vagina, leaving dirty French kisses on your folds and making them even wetter and stickier, smearing your mucus and saliva all over your little mound. You pitifully moan as you begin to wiggle your hips in time with the relentless movements of his jaw, tugging at the thick strands of his platinum hair.
He sucks, licks, and caresses your pussy and brings you to a state of absolute bliss. Hongjoong is getting drunk on you and is completely intoxicated by your beautiful, creamy cunt.
You gasp loudly as Hongjoong spits a thick lump of saliva onto your pussy and you can feel some of the liquid running down your folds. He spoiled your cunt completely.
"I could eat that little cunt of yours all day long, kitten. You have such a delicious taste." Hongjoong moaned as his tongue licked greedily along the long strip from your crotch all the way to your clit. The taste of your sweet, creamy cunt on his tongue was practically driving him mad, and he let out a low, sultry purr that vibrated all the way to your centre.
It wasn't the first time someone had buried their face between your thighs, but damn, Hongjoong was something else.
Your sweet, pitiful moans and wheezes were music to his ears and only served to encourage him even more to continue his caresses. You sang so beautifully to him, trembling and wriggling in the firm, rough grip of his hands while his soft and experienced tongue flicked and fluttered over your sensitive clit.
Fuck, it felt so good—so damn good—that your vision became blurred with pleasure and sudden tears on the edges of your eyes, and your breathing became intermittent and heavy. You could already feel the knot of hot pleasure tightening inside of you; damn it, you were so close to cum.
Hongjoong wrapped his hot, wet mouth around your clitor once more and began to suck on the swollen, throbbing bud of yours, alternating between rough and gentle sucking.
God, this man definitely had the most amazing 'tongue technique' that you could ever have imagined. Hongjoong lifted his head for a moment, and the sight of his stunningly handsome, mature face almost brought you to a state of ecstasy: his lips swollen from the incessant caresses, all shiny and glassy with your excitement, feline eyes unfocused as if he were drunk, long eyelashes fluttering, saliva running down his cheeks and chin, mixing with your sticky sweetness.
It was overwhelming, and the pleasure shot through you like a bolt of lightning.
"Oh my God!" You let out a loud groan, throwing your head back and banging it lightly against the glass, but you don't even pay any attention to it; you are too engrossed in Hongjoong.
"Oh my kitten, that's right, you can call me God." Hongjoong laughed fiercely, and then you felt the tip of his tongue sliding into your small, narrow hole, and he started caressing your silky walls.
And then everything goes white for you. The stars explode behind your eyes, your hips shake uncontrollably as they clench around Hongjoong's head, your hands pull harder on the soft platinum strands of his hair, and the loud moaning of his name flies from your parted lips like a prayer song.
"Please, Hongjoong, don't stop. I'm begging you; don't stop." And he doesn't stop, prolonging your orgasm with quick and skillful movements of his tongue. He's lapping up your cum like it was the world's most exquisite dessert, smacking his lips and greedily swallowing all the viscous, sweet liquid that flows into his insatiable, devilish mouth.
You look so ethereal as you spray your sweet juices all over his face, and something deep down inside of him wants to feel it all over again.
"Please! Hongjoong..." You are begging him, but you don't know exactly what it is you are asking him to do. The pleasure was almost too much to bear, almost painful.
The tears have begun to flow freely down your face, leaving inky trails of mascara and shimmering glitter. Hongjoong thinks you resemble him a freshly bloomed flower, and when you come again, he can't help but want to see you underneath him—wriggling, heated, exhausted from hours of endless, animalistic, rough sex, cum on his cock again and again. Fuck, he'd milk every last drop out of you.
When you feel like you're about to pass out from the overstimulation, Hongjoong pulls away from your cunt. He lifts his dark, slanting eyes to you and licks his swollen, scarlet lips hungrily, using his tongue to pick up what remains of your slime. But it doesn't help much. The clear, sticky liquid runs down his chin and drips onto his chest.
How does this man still look so luxurious and expensive, even after licking your cunt like his life depended on it?
Hongjoong plants a last hot kiss on the inside of your thigh before taking your leg off his shoulder and standing up. His hands are around you at once, dragging you against his powerful body. His skin is so smooth and so hot, and you have no hesitation in telling him that you'd like to lick him from head to toe.
"I want to taste you. Are you going to let me do that, sir?"
The corners of his lips lift, turning his smile into a true predatory grin, and everything inside of you clenches and quivers with a sharp anticipation that tingles your skin like shards of broken crystal.
"Sweet little kitty, aren't you the most precious thing in the world?" He says. Hongjoong takes your hand in his and presses it against his hot, thick erection. Fuck, even through the tight designer fabric of his trousers, you can feel how amazing and delicious his cock is going to be. Oh, he's going to totally destroy your cunt. "Would you like to taste my cock, Princess?" His eyebrow lifts in a teasing manner, and your fingers tighten on his erection.
"Yes, sir, I do. I want to taste your cock so badly. I'm such a slut for you. Give me the feel of your cock on my tongue. Please, sir." You look up at him through your lashes, running your tongue over your plump lower lip and his cock twitching under your palm.
"If you ask me so sweetly, kitten, who am I to refuse you? Just say the word, and I'll have the whole fucking world crawling at your feet."
He pulls you over to the luxurious bed, which is clearly too big to spend your nights alone, and makes himself comfortable on the edge of the soft mattress, pulling you down gently until you're kneeling between his legs. You spread your legs a little bit so that even in this position, Hongjoong can enjoy the sight of your glistening, dripping cunt. Traces of his saliva and your juices cover your silky folds and make him want to sink his face between your thighs once more.
Hongjoong throws his head back and lets out a deep, velvety moan, and your eyes sparkle as you see his gloriously sculpted abs tense and his Adam's apple tremble, and you want to leave hundreds of marks on that gorgeous, seductive throat. Belatedly, you notice the "NO1LIKEME" tattoo on his arm and think it suits him damn well.
"Come on, princess, show me what you can do with that beautiful, slutty mouth of yours." He says this as he unbuckles his belt.
You move impatiently closer to him as he finally pulls his cock out of his trousers, your eyes widening to see this thick, velvety length right in front of you. The head of his cock was reddened and swollen, and you swallowed hard from this vew. God, his cock is gorgeous, with thick, juicy veins covering the hard length, which is glistening wet from the pre-cum that is leaking out of it.
Your mouth fills with saliva, and you run your fingertips lightly over the entire length of his cock before you dip your head down to lick the wet head. The taste of him reminds you of the champagne you drank earlier and tingles your tongue. Outrageously expensive and ultra vulgar. You hunger for more. Your parted lips press against his cock, wrapping it in your hot breath as you run it down the length to the base.
Your tongue gives him a kitten's lick at the sensitive spot where his cock meets up with his heavy, cum-filled balls. The moan he makes as he does so goes straight to your pussy and your silky walls clench around nothing. The soft skin tingles under your tongue and makes his cock bounce up against your pretty face, and the sight of you licking his balls almost brings him over the edge.
Fuck, Hongjoong swears to himself that he's going to fucking destroy you.
"I see my kitten knows how to handle a cock, eh? But can you please me, Princess?" He hisses through his teeth as you wrap the palm of your hand around his cock and slap it against your protruding tongue a couple of times. Each time his cock pulls away from the soft surface of your slippery appendage, long strands of saliva stretch from your mouth to his glans.
"I'll try, sir..." The look in your wide, open eyes is completely innocent as you begin to slowly suck him into your hot and deliciously moist mouth. Hongjoong's dark cat-like eyes are fixed on your glistening ruby-red lips as they stretch around his thick dick in the most beautiful way.
The way you tilt your head and relax your jaw, allowing Hongjoong's massive cock to slide deeper into your throat, makes him crumple the silk sheet in his hand with such force that the knuckles on his fingers turn white. His other hand comes to rest on the back of your head and presses firmly, causing you to take his cock even deeper into your mouth. Your eyebrows furrow as the swollen head rests against the back of your throat, eliciting a guttural moan from him.
Unconsciously, you swallow, allowing Hongjoong's cock to slide easily down your throat, the veiny length of it stretching along the quivering walls of your larynx. He swallows hard, his Adam's apple jiggling to get your attention, and you repeat the motion, swallowing again, letting his cock slide deeper and deeper until your face is almost resting against his pubic.
"Fuck, that, my good girl." Hongjoong gasps, watching the blissful expression on your face as his entire cock basks sweetly between the tight, sticky walls of your throat. On your neck, he can easily see the outline of his length bulging beneath your thin skin. His fingers get tangled in your hair as he begins to pull your head up and down, fucking your mouth and causing saliva to drip from your lips onto your chin and down his thighs.
You moan around his cock; the heavy, hot weight on your tongue makes you feel so good. You've always loved having a cock in your mouth, but there was something about the fact that Hongjoong's cock was the one that was destroying your throat at that very moment that just made your head spin.
"Fuck, I haven't had a good cocksucker like you in a long time. Most girls start to whimper and choke, but you're just made for sucking cocks. Aren't you, pussycat?" Hongjoong said mockingly, his thrusts getting harder and harder as the most disgusting and lewd words poured out of his mouth like sweet, seductive poison.
You moaned affirmatively, agreeing with what he said, your wet, silky throat clinging to his cock with each powerful thrust. An almost evil laugh erupted from Hongjoong's chest as you made a strangled, gurgling sound around his cock after a particularly strong thrust of his hips. His balls slapped against your chin with a sticky, vulgar sound.
He ran his other hand through his platinum hair, brushing the silky strands away from his eyes as he tilted his head back.
"I can't wait to spoil your cunt. I want you to smear your cream all over my cock, or are you a squirter, pussycat?" He purred, and you fell into even more bliss from the vibrations of his golden voice on your skin.
The thought of him stretching out your cunt on his cock made your exhausted brain boil with euphoria. You let his cock out of your mouth with a loud slutty pop, saliva and pre-sperm running in long strands from your tongue to the tip of his cock.
"For you, I'll do both, sir."
"Could you be any more precious, Princess?" Hongjoong's fingers cupped your face and pressed your cheeks together. His eyes were filled with something animal, primal, and utterly savage. "Are you ready for me to fuck you, beautiful? Because I'll screw you so hard and long that you'll feel my cock in your pretty little pussy for days after. Those threatening words sounded like heaven to you, and I nodded your head impatiently.
His hand moved away from your face but soon came back in the form of a sharp slap that burned your soft, plump cheek and made you gasp for breath. Oh shit, Hongjoong's actions caused a thick stream of slime to pour out of your trembling hole and onto the marble floor. God, you loved the way he handled you, without this puppy sweetness that guys your age had or clumsy attempts to please you.
He was a man who knew exactly how to make your pussy flow for him.
"I... want you to fuck me stupid Make me your personal little slut, please, sir."
Satisfied with your words, Hongjoong grabbed your hair again. He lifts you up from the floor, the roots of your hair being pulled painfully tight and causing your delicate scalp to burn slightly. He throws you down on the bed with force; your arse is facing him, and your legs are dangling over the edge. You immediately assume a seductive pose, looking back at Hongjoong over your shoulder with the most innocent and angelic expression on your face, spreading your legs for him, and shaking your plump arse to tease him slightly.
The evil, almost demonic grin is back on Hongjoong's face when he sees what you have done. Your pussy is all swollen and pink, and for a second, he leans in to lick the delicate folds of your pussy once more. His tongue dives into your hole before he slaps you hard on your buttocks with both hands, mixing pain and pleasure and making you moan loudly as you rest your face against the silk sheets.
"Impatient little cunt, aren't you? But, I suppose, kitten, it must be so hard for you to satisfy that greedy hole when you're being fucked by inept, drooling puppies, isn't it? Is this the first time you've ever been fucked by someone older, kitty?"
"Yes, sir, I've never been fucked by an older man." You moan as you feel Hongjoong rub the head of his cock against the folds of your quivering pussy. You whimper in frustration; damn it, all you wanted was to feel him inside you. Your pussy throbs with every touch, and you desperately want to be filled. You sob loudly as the tip of his cock pokes at your clit, your labia wrapped beautifully and tightly around the soft, wet flesh.
"Please fuck me already. I want your cock so badly." You whimper, and he grins back. The sound of it is utterly vicious and diabolical.
"Now I can see it, kitten. You've never been played with like this before, have you? Those boys just stuck their cocks in your hole and used you as a toy for their own pleasure, didn't they?" He slapped his cock against your wetness before he wrapped his hands around your thighs and pressed them together. This new position made the throbbing of your pussy even more intense.
"No one has ever played me right, sir; please show me how it's done. Destroy me..." You whimpered, pulling your arse back to try and get his cock inside. Oh, he just couldn't resist your words. You were exactly what he had always wanted for himself.
"Well, then you should get ready, kitty, because this is going to be one hell of a ride." Hongjoong spits on your pussy to get more lube on it, as if you weren't already an absolute wet mess for him, and he positions himself in front of your narrow entrance. With a deep growl, he begins to push his cock into you, your wet walls sliding apart easily for him as he does so.
The delicate edges of your little hole burned from stretching as the head of his cock fully penetrated you, but you welcomed the sensation with a loud moan of pleasure. Centimetre by centimetre, your warm, sweet pussy engulfed his cock, bringing the two of you to a state of euphoric bliss. The silky, slippery walls of it clung to his thick girth, almost preventing him from moving at all.
Your cunt was so tight and narrow around him that it made Hongjoong hiss and gasp for air. You moaned loudly underneath him. The bossy position that he was holding you in prevented you from moving your hips, leaving you with no choice but to take what he was giving you. Never in your life have you been so intensely aroused. Your lust for this stunningly mature man was simply inhuman.
"Oh fuck..." Hongjoong exhaled as he entered you all the way, his hips pressed tightly against your plump buttocks, as the head of the dick was buried in your cervix. You felt so full, so satiated, and already close to orgasming just from the way he spread you apart. The walls of your cunt contracted and quivered, and your swollen clit throbbed like never before. He hasn't done anything to you, and you're already so fucked up.
Hongjoong grabbed hold of your soft hips and dug his fingers into the juicy flesh, pulling you along the entire length of his cock before he pushed you back against him, slowly adapting you to him. You were so tight and tiny, or rather, he was so big, that even with so little movement and a great deal of mucus and saliva, the friction was palpably sharp.
As soon as you got used to him, Hongjoong didn't wait a second before he started to move. From the very beginning, his pace was sharp and fast. His hips slammed into your arse with great force, and each time his thick, wiry cock entered you all the way to the base of your cervix, the swollen head slamming into your cervix. In time with his thrusts, your plump, heavy tits bounced.
The loud sound of his balls slapping against your plump arse and the noisy squelching of your wet cunt that echoed throughout the room made you sob loudly and pitifully.
"Your pussy is sucking me so deliciously, my little kitten. You are so hungry for my cock, my sugar princess, and I will give you exactly what you want so badly. I am going to feed you properly with my cum. I'm going to give my pretty little kitty so much milk that it will be pouring out of you for days and days." Hongjoong's moan was deep and velvety. His breathing became heavy, and his voice became hoarse and sultry, like a wild predatory cat purring, as he quickened his pace to fuck you harder and deeper. "I'm going to breed you, kitten. I'll make you so beautiful and swollen with my children."
Hongjoong's dirty words turned you on even more, and you knew if you touched your clit even a little, you'd have your cream all over his dick in a matter of seconds. As if reading what you thought, Hongjoong's fingers slid down and began to circle your swollen bud. He drew intricate patterns all over your clit, sending jolts of hot pleasure through your body as he did so.
Your eyes rolled back in your head, your tongue flicked out of your mouth, and a look of pure bliss crossed your face as Hongjoong continued to fuck you mercilessly.
"Fuck, I'm going to cum, please, sir." Your viscous fluid began to flow harder down your inner thighs and Hongjoong's hand as you approached your orgasm.
"Already? You were really desperate for my cock, you pretty little slut. Cum on my cock, kitty." Hongjoong laughed. He leaned forward, his muscular, sweaty chest pressed against your back, his magnificent hips moving smoothly and powerfully as he continued to mercilessly fill your pussy. In this new position, the head of his cock is now rubbing against your G-spot in a delicious way.
Your orgasm is raging inside of you like an all-consuming flame, destroying every conscious part of you and leaving you with no bones. You writhe beneath him, your legs shaking violently as you let out a loud scream. Just as you promised him, your pussy covered all over his cock with your cream, Hongjoong's name comes off your lips like a mantra, and you swear you saw God for a second. You don't think you'll ever reach that level of bliss again. It was truly intoxicating. Your limbs turned to jelly as your orgasm began to melt; you were almost drooling all over the silk sheets from the intense high.
You don't even notice it when it happens. Hongjoong suddenly leaves your used, squeezing cunt, and the next moment you are lying on your back with your legs around his slutty waist and his cock deep inside you.
"I want to have a look at your face when you come again. This time I'll make you squirt, kitten." Hongjoong's pace slows down; it becomes deep and hard; it's sharp, short thrusts that make his cock practically penetrate your cervix. You feel like he's completely remodelling your insides at the moment.
Hongjoong continues to fuck you, and the stimulation becomes almost unbearable for you, bringing you to the edge of pleasure once again. Hongjoong starts to move erratically and becomes careless as he chases his own orgasm. He leans down to your ear, breathing wetly and huskily, his hard chest pressed against your tits, your sensitive nipples rubbing against his heated and sweat-slick skin, bringing you even more pleasure. Your pink buds are practically tingling with the stimulation.
"I will fill you with my sperm, and your pussy will swallow it all." He purred, the sound of his moaning filling your ears. As he fucks you into oblivion, Hongjoong catches your gaze, his cat-like eyes fixed on you.
Hongjoong's gorgeous face contorts with pleasure; his hips twitch, and his face is pressed against your neck to muffle his animal growl. His cock is pulsating hotly inside your silky walls, and as he makes another deep thrust inside you and the head of his cock slips into your cervix for a second, your orgasm hits you like a freight train.
"Hongjoong, oh my God... It's so much. I can't... I can't take it anymore." You start to come, huge jets of liquid splashing around his thick cock as he continues to fuck you like there's no tomorrow.
"Kitten, god damn it!" The man growls, and you feel the hot, thick sperm staining in the white of your tender walls. There's so much of his cum that the viscous, milky liquid seeps out past the point where his cock has plugged your tiny hole and stains the inside of your thighs. His teeth sink into your shoulder, almost tearing through your skin and almost to bleed, until he relaxes and pulls himself away from you. Hongjoong comes out of your tortured, swollen pussy and you go completely limp, too weak to move.
"Damn, look at that hungry little cunt of yours swallowing up all my cum. That's my pussycat." Hongjoong purrs contentedly, showering you with praise as he watches your pussy twitch and the walls clench around the sudden void that his cock has left behind.
"Let's get you cleaned up, kitty." The man says this to you as he gets out of bed and walks to the dressing room that is connected to his bedroom. When he comes back, he is dressed in a floor-length black silk dressing gown, and in his hands he is holding one of his luxurious, classic shirts.
You can barely manage to get out of bed; your legs are trembling, and cum is dripping out of your pussy. Hongjoong laughs as he picks you up in his arms and carries you to the bathroom, where he sets up the shower for you. It was probably one of the best showers you've ever had. Maybe it was the incredibly expensive skin care products, or the water being the perfect temperature, or just the fact that Hongjoong fucked you to heaven and back.
But you're safe to say that you're going to feel this night on your body for the next few days.
Hongjoong's hot hands glide over your body, smearing the soft, fluffy foam of the incredibly sweet shower gel, and you melt under his touch.
"Will you stay with me, love?" He whispers in your ear.
"I'll stay with you as long as you want me to, Hongjoong."
═══════════════════════════════════════════
You slowly climb out of Hongjoong's luxurious bed and try not to wake up the man who is sleeping peacefully with your actions. Hell, even when he's sleeping, he looks like a fucking work of art, and you almost want to go back to bed and wake him up with a quality blowjob, but you decide to revisit the idea later, after you've made breakfast for both of you. You flinch slightly as you move. The sweet pain in your pussy reminds you of what happened last night. Damn it, Hongjoong really did fuck you incredibly well.
It's surprisingly easy to navigate his huge house, and you quickly find a spacious kitchen bathed in golden sunlight, only to freeze in the hallway, not daring to move.
If yesterday you thought that Hongjoong was the most handsome man you had ever seen in your life, then when you look at the man who is now sitting at the dining table, relaxed and drinking coffee, you think that you have met God himself. Oh, damn. Unconsciously, you gasp for breath, which gets his attention, and when your eyes meet, you swear that your heart stops beating.
"Oh, you are awake already. Did you have a good night's sleep, my love?" His voice caresses your skin like a thousand kisses, and you are terribly ashamed to admit it, but sweet moisture begins to gather between your legs. God, what's happening now?
"Yes, I... Yes, that was good." You stammer under the weight of this gorgeous man's dark, almost hypnotic gaze, shifting nervously from foot to foot.
Your insecurities and embarrassment seem to amuse him, as the man lets out a dark, amused chuckle before his sensual, plump lips curl up into one of the sexiest smiles you've ever seen.
"I'm glad; sometimes Hongjoong is not the nicest host. He's a bit of a grumpy cat. You know?"
His casual words confuse you even more. And the fact that his eyes are literally devouring your almost naked body doesn't make it any easier. You're still wearing only Hongjoong's shirt, and it's decent enough to cover your plump buttocks, but not decent enough to be in the company of a strange man when you're not wearing underwear.
"I think I have to go..." You almost whisper as you watch the man's eyes go dark as his gaze lingers on the bruises and hickeys that Hongjoong has left on your neck.
"Oh no, darling, I don't think so. I think you should definitely stay for breakfast." He gets up from his seat and slowly starts to walk towards you, and you feel as if the air in the room has suddenly become heavier and thicker. You almost suffocate. God, you feel like you are being hunted.
"This is not the best idea; excuse me..." And then you realise that you never bothered to ask the name of this luxurious, grown-up man. A man who looks as if he had been the star of a fashion show just a few minutes ago.
He seems to realise this too. Because the next second he utters words that turn your whole world upside down.
"I'm sorry, I think I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Seonghwa, and last night you fucked my husband, Kitten".
Summary: A summons from a princess has the demons of Black Keep shaking in their boots. A person from the past comes back into YN's life, and she wonders if she'd truly lived in the living world.
Tags: dominate/submissive themes, polyamorous relationship, mentions of abuse/rape/domestic violence/illness, talks about misogyny and misandry, lost families, carriage sex, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, nipple play, breast play, foursome (m/m/m/f), oral sex, rough oral sex, vaginal fingering, pussy slapping, dirty talk, pet names (bitch, slut, whore, kitten, darling, pet), light degradation, fingers in mouth, light spanking, creampie, unprotected sex, overstimulation, some squirting, facials, cumming in mouth, choking, biting,
Pretty Lady Masterlist
Previously on Pretty Lady
***
“It’s a beautiful day here in His Majesty’s city. This is your host, Beezee, bringing you the greatest hits this morning! Totally wicked news just came into the Hot Spot, and it is piping hot! A few little Imps have been talking and they say a new cambion has entered our massive royal family! We here at The Hot Spot want to personally welcome lovely Lady YN, Marchioness of the Trees and a Lady of Eden! Princess Lilith must be thrilled to hav-”
“WHAT?!”
It was not her mother’s voice that stunned Andromeda into silence. It was the name. Your name. The vision of a little girl with dirt on her hands and under her fingernails came to mind. Her heart tore itself to pieces at the memories: baking cupcakes after school, snuggling on the couch during prime-time television, singing in the garden and dancing in the living room. Her pride. Her joy. The sole reason she’d stayed in the living world made her way to the burning city of Inferno. Andromeda did not know whether to be weeping from joy or sorrow. She knew this day might’ve come, but not like this.
“Andromeda!”
Her mother’s shrill cry cut through the garden walls. Long gone were the days she feared Lilith’s wrath. Andromeda, in her dress of pale pink muslin, left her garden patch for the pebbled paths of Lilith’s Garden. She passed several of her “sisters”, who gave her cautious glances before turning away. Andromeda knew better than to keep a child secret from her mother. She knew no matter what transpired between them, her mother would welcome any child of hers with open arms. But, she did not want this life for you. She wanted you to be free and untethered from traditions or expectations. Even when you severed yourself from her, she let you live as you wanted. It broke her heart, but at least you were free.
Andromeda appeared in the archway to her mother’s private garden. In an enclosed circular space, her mother sat playing cards with her sisters, Gaia and Rhea. All three women wore the flowing gowns and floral headpieces typical of Ladies of Eden, but Lilith stood out. Long black hair tumbling down her back, her curved horns reached far behind her and her piercing crimson eyes set her apart from the glowing beauties she’d birthed. Daughters of Lilith did not resemble the common demons in the city and circles: a warm glow radiated around them, bringing life rather than death, and were the finest creatures in existence. Andromeda knew you’d be as beautiful as her when she had you, and she’d been right.
“Yes, Mother?” Andromeda said, standing there looking strong and firm.
“Do you care to explain this?”
In her hand, Andromeda saw an official paper. Her stomach flopped over and over seeing it. She moved forward and read it herself, her suspicions proven true. Yes, you had come to Inferno. Yes, someone did discover who and what you were. Hot tears stuck in her lashes as she reread your name. Her special girl. Her honey cake.
“Andromeda, explain yourself, now.”
“What is there to explain, Mother?” she asked, reading your death date. “I had a child and didn’t tell you.”
She remembered that day with a heavy heart. She’d gotten the call from a nurse in the hospital, telling her you'd been admitted. Being your mother, she rushed right there with hopes of saving you, but she came too late. Never did the world feel so cold or be so dark as it did then. With her precious girl gone, Andromeda saw no reason to remain in the living world. She came back home where she made amends with her family. She hoped you never came to Inferno. She hoped you managed to turn your life around, become a good person, and be accepted into Paradise. Big dreams, she knew, but she dreamed them.
“Tell me why,” her mother demanded coldly. “Why would you keep such a thing from your family? From me? I thought we had moved past childish secrets.”
“I kept her a secret for the same reason I left to begin with.”
Lilith scoffed, “I learned my lesson with you, Andromeda. I would have let your little cambion roam free beyond Eden. I wouldn't want to lose another daughter.”
Her sisters told her about their mother’s anguish. They told her Her Highness cried for months after she left. Lilith received very few things when Inferno was first founded. She was Lucifer’s only true-born daughter; a sister to The Seven Princes. Her future lay in marrying one of them and producing children for the circles. But, when she took over Eden, slaying Adam and corrupting Eve, she made her own path. Lucifer let her keep her garden, where she grew her daughters from the flowers around her. Andromeda, she knew, came from a peony. Gaia, the eldest from gentle primroses, and Rhea from beautiful hydrangeas. Lilith birthed all her children through the flowers; they followed suit to have their own daughters. She liked to think of you in a bed of freesias, a flower symbolizing freedom.
“Sister,” Gaia spoke softly. Her hair in soft yellow curls, her solemn brown eyes looked at her with concern, “You know you could have told us.”
“If you had told us, the poor child wouldn't have suffered in the circles,” said Rhea sternly, square-jawed and dark-haired. “I can’t imagine the pain she’s endured since her death. The circles are so unkind and horrific. Why would you rather she go undiscovered and suffer than be acknowledged and accepted?”
“I didn’t want this for her,” she said, still reading the letter. “I wanted her to forge her own path as our mother did once. Being a Lady of Eden, she would have been stuck here forever. She wouldn’t have space to grow or explore herself. I didn’t want her to feel as trapped as I once did.”
“I have changed since then, Andromeda,” her mother said, standing from her seat. “I thought I would’ve proven that to you by now.”
“You have, Mother,” Andromeda saw her sad eyes and went to her. “I know you made many changes on my behalf. I know they were hard for you,” she continued, holding her mother’s hands gently. “I am forever grateful for them. The precautions I made with YN were long before our reconciliation. I’m sorry,” she said with all the honesty behind it, “I’m sorry I kept this from you; that I kept her from all of you. But, I was only doing what I believed was right at the time.”
“Enduring pain at the hands of a man-thing just to keep your daughter from demons?” her mother said sadly. “Andromeda, you might be a free spirit, but you are also a blind spirit. Your hesitancy and pride caused your only child to be thrusted into a world of pain and loneliness. I spoke with Wooyoung today-”
“-Ugh, not Wooyoung-”
“-And he told me that YN is living with Asmodeus’s heir, Seonghwa.”
Andromeda vaguely remembered her cousin. Handsome, brooding, and bookish, her mother liked to call him ‘The Brain’. Hongjoong was ‘The Beauty’ and San was ‘The Brawn’. She wondered how you ended up there. A shot of fear struck her.
“She was their pleasure slave, wasn't she?”
Lilith paused, but eventually blurted out, “Yes.”
No. This was all her fault. Her stubbornness led to your enslavement. The thought of her daughter in rags, chained and abused night and day made her collapse into a seat. What had those man-things done to you? A slew of lewd, obscene images crossed her mind. Hongjoong’s insatiable, broad appetite became common knowledge amongst the elite. Stories of Seonghwa’s cruelty made the strongest of demons shudder. San might be the sweetheart, but he could be deadly when crossed. More tears rushed down her cheeks thinking about it. She knew with a single retort or disobedience, those men would crush you. Andromeda could not let it go on any longer. She needed to save you. She needed to bring you home.
“I must go to her,” Andromeda said shakily, putting the letter on the table. “I must go to their keep and get my daughter. Mother, I promise I will present her to you soon, but I need to get her before they do-”
“-That will not be necessary, my sweet peony.” Her mother embraced her warmly, putting Andromeda’s head on her shoulder as she sobbed. She felt a hand soothingly rubbing her back, a gentle hum playing in her ear. “I already sent word to The Black Keep. She will be brought here this afternoon.”
“Mother, I must see her,” Andromeda emphasized through thick tears. “I have to talk to her. I have to tell her I’m sorry for all of it; I need to make this right.”
She knew you resented her. It did not take a genius to see what you thought of her, but she never stopped trying. Despite being an adult already, she could not help worrying for you. A demon might’ve found you and dragged you to your grandmother. They’d clamp their invisible chains, and you’d never be free. It appeared the inevitable finally happened, and in the worst way.
“You will see her,” her mother assured her. “Our YN will come home. I promise.”
Regardless of who their father is, Asmodeus’s boys could not ignore a Princess’s summons.
****
“Just focus. Keep your eyes on your target and focus.”
Seonghwa stood by the work table in Octavius’s lair, watching you from afar. On the table, he’d placed a flower pot. After filling it with soil and fertilizer, he wanted to experiment with your abilities. He deduced you could manipulate, grow and speak to plants, but he sensed you could do more. Seeing whether you could create plants from nothing was the first test. Firmly standing at the table, you pressed your hands to the ceramic pot and closed your eyes.
“Envision the type of flower you want, and see if it comes up,” he directed. His eyes remained trained on you, and you could feel them studying you.
A sunflower. You hadn’t seen sunflowers in ages. Picturing their pointed petals, a vivid yellow surrounding a fuzzy center, you imagined it sprouting from deep in the soil. It’d break through the dark dirt, absorbing the nutrients needed to accelerate its growth. You saw it unfurling from the thin roots extending to plant itself in the very center. A distinct tingling started in your shoulders before vibrating down your arms to your fingertips. You shuddered from the tickling shivers up your spine. You kept yourself focused on your goal. You had been at this for an hour, and you hadn’t grown anything. Maybe growth isn’t in your skill set; you might only be able to rejuvenate plants, not grow them from nothingness. Once you felt the weakness starting to come over you, you stopped.
Opening your eyes, you saw an empty pot.
“I suck at this,” you complained, kicking the wooden table leg. “What’s the point in a plant ability if I can’t grow them? I was able to do it the day I met Octavius. Why can’t I do it now?”
“Perhaps because the plants you controlled flourished in the ground,” he suggested, arms crossed. “Whereas this soil isn’t being touched by you,” you heard the realization come to him as he stared at the rich dirt.
You did it before he asked. Sliding your cold fingertips into the soft earth, you reimagined your sunflower. You kept yourself focused on the image in your head, and you gasped once something smooth touched your fingers. What felt like thin strings extended into the pot, bringing on a twinge of excitement. The feeling passed by, you opened your eyes and expected a flourishing sunflower. Instead, you stared at the bare soil again. You squeezed your eyes closed, pushing your head forehead to try capturing that feeling again. This produced nothing again. You continued this with no success. You’d done it before. Why could you not do it again?
“Damnit,” you hissed, removing your hands from the pot. “Why isn’t it working?”
“It might be too advanced for you,” Seonghwa guessed out loud. “We should’ve started with something simpler?” He searched the work table, pushing aside tools and papers before finding a seed packet. “Simple basil seeds,” he said, sprinkling some in the small pot. “Let’s see what you can do with these.”
“It’s not going to work,” you frowned.
“Yes, it will. If you can heal them, you can grow them. Go ahead and see.”
“Can’t we take a break? Go do something fun?”
“This is fun.”
“No, it’s frustrating.”
“Science isn’t always going to be a fun time-”
“-Science is dumb, and so are these experiments,” you lashed out. One of Octavius’s offspring hissed at Seonghwa, and you saw him regard the reaction.
“You’re only saying that because it’s not going your way,” he pointed out. “Just do it one more time,” he moved behind you, long arms wrapping around your waist, “Then we can do something else.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” he said, kissing beneath your ear. “We can do whatever you want,” he said, putting stress on ‘whatever’ which made you grin.
“We can always test other abilities too,” you suggested as he guided your hands back into the pot. “I’d love to see the side effects of my kisses.”
“An interesting suggestion, Kitten,” he said. “Come on, let's do this one more time.”
Planting your feet firmly on the ground, you sink the seeds into the pot. Their smooth shells pressed against your fingertips, and you imagined them cracking open to reveal their roots. Soon, the thin veins traced over and around your fingers. You opened your eyes to see sprouts gradually lift from the bottom to the surface. The pointed leaves with their soft ridges sprung from thin stems. Blooming a bright green, they grew until they reached over the edges of the pot. You beamed, a giggle coming through as you removed your hands from the dirt. Gently touching their leaves, Seonghwa placed his hand over yours. His touch felt so different from San or Hongjoong. They worked with their hands. Seonghwa worked with his mind, leaving his hands smooth and soft. He put his other arm over yours to hold you close.
“It’s beautiful,” he said softly.
“Thanks,” you replied.
“You’ve done great work here,” he said, “Overall, I mean. Everything in here looks so healthy and lively again. I don’t think I’ve seen cognizant ones like this in a long time.”
“Because you created them, then left them to rot when they no longer served a purpose or amused you.”
“I know,” he brought your other hand to your chest, holding you tightly, “I’ll admit I’m guilty of neglect. Dennis’s-”
“-Octavius’s-”
“-Octavius’s appetite became too much for any normal demon to handle alone. I thought the slaves or the servants who came in here might satisfy them, but I was wrong. But, they’re lucky they have you now,” he kissed the curve of your neck, “To care for them. Most of the demons here would’ve passed out after being with Octavius so long, but not you. You kept going.”
“It felt good,” you said, eyeing the herb leaves. “The best sex I ever had in my life.”
“Oh really?”
“Really.”
“What about with me?” he said, pouting comically. “You cum so much with me, Kitten. I go for as long as you want,” he kissed the spot again before kissing further up. “I’ll prove it to you right now, if you want. We haven’t done it in a while.”
“A while? We had sex a few days ago when you came back home.”
“That’s too long for us,” he slid his hands from you to trail up your stomach. “Kiss me,” he whispered in your ear, “I want to know what you did to Mingi that made him fuck your cunt without permission. Sweet Jongho pumped out nothing by the time your toxins wore off. I won't even tell you what I heard from Yunho. Your kisses sound deliciously toxic.”
“You want to experience it yourself, Master Seonghwa?” you turned around to face him, hands wandering up his chest. “Is that it?”
“Yes,” he whispered, drawing closer to your lips. “I want to be consumed by you too.”
“Then come closer.”
Right before your lips could touch, an offspring hissed. You turned your head to see Yunho coming through the lair’s entryway. Any heat in your cheeks cooled down at the sight of the house manager. He stood by the arch, a silver tray with an envelope on it in his hands.
“Master, Mistress,” he inclined his head to each of you, “A letter has arrived for you, Master Seonghwa.”
“Just put it over there, Yunho,” he nodded to the other end of the long worktable. He turned his attention back to you, eyes filling with lust again, “I’ll get to it later.”
“Forgive me, sir,” Yunho intervened, “But I highly suggest you read this now.”
“I’m busy, Yunho,” he said, nuzzling your nose before pecking your lips, “Later.”
“It’s from Eden, sir.”
The both of you froze. A week has passed since your official identification card arrived in the mail, making you a real citizen of Inferno. Since they said visiting Eden is voluntary, you’d decided to put it off as long as possible. The mere possibility of seeing your mother in the flesh scared you. Late at night, whether alone or in somebody’s arms, you pictured various scenarios. In some, she wept and embraced you. In others, she smacked and insulted you. Those hurt the most because you deserved that.
Yunho brought the letter over to Seonghwa, who took it. Breaking a green wax seal, he left you by the table. He moved about the room as his brain worked the words, comprehending and considering them before speaking or taking action. The prolonged silence twisted your anxious insides. You exchanged a glance with Yunho, who appeared as concerned as you.
“Well?” you finally said. “What does it say?”
“‘Dear Lord Seonghwa,” he read out loud, venom in his voice, “It has come to my attention that one of my granddaughters is living in your house. As she is a Lady of Eden and no longer a plaything, you will present her to me as is customary for new cambions. If you do not comply, I will have no choice but to take this to your father, Prince Asmodeus-Oh give me a fucking break!”
Seonghwa balled up the letter and tossed it away. You saw him fix his waistband as he paced back and forth. “She talks about it as if we knew the whole time!” he snapped, eyes concentrated on the ground. “She acts like we kidnapped you! We didn’t know until a month ago! That bitch…”
“Seonghwa,” you walked over to him, intent on soothing him, but he raised a hand to stop you.
“It’s not as if we have you tied up in here,” he continued his tirade. “We’ve treated you well, right? We’ve fed you, clothed you, pampered and cared for you. You could ask for anything, and we’d give it to you. All you have to do is bat those pretty lashes and I crumble like a damn cracker!” He ran his hands through his hair, “Doesn’t she know the effect you have on me? Doesn’t she know that I, Park Seonghwa, a Duke of Lust, has been weakened by the most beautiful cambion to ever walk into Inferno? In all of Hell, as a matter of fact?”
“I guess not.” His words touched a sweet spot inside you. “Have I really done that?”
“Yes, obviously! If I didn’t want you, YN, I would’ve tossed you in here and forgotten you existed,” he said, stopping only to speak before ranting further. “I would have taken you to her if you'd wanted me to. I would have no objections to you seeing your family. You simply never asked, and I wasn't going to pressu-”
“-Seonghwa?” you carefully walked over to him, sliding your arms around him from the side. Instantly, he wrapped one around your waist and took the other hand. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Putting it off,” you said. “I know I should have gone to her sooner, but I kept procrastinating because, well…” you hated saying it out loud. If any time was good for a mind drill, it was then. “I’m scared she’s there.”
“Your mother?”
“Yes.” He turned in your arms and you rested your head on his chest. Seonghwa smelled like roses. A lovely bed of fresh roses clung to his body, not just his clothes. You buried your nose in him, wanting to get lost in his scent. “It might sound stupid to you,” you finally said, “But I…I’m scared to see her.”
“Why?”
“Because I was awful to her. I said terrible things, and pushed her away from me when she needed me.” Your throat dried up at the words. “She kept coming back to me, and I kept moving further. What if she hates me?”
“I doubt that,” he said. “If she kept trying to contact you even when you pulled away, then I don’t think she’d hate you.”
“I’d hate me.”
“You’re you, so yes, you would.”
You smacked his arm as he laughed. “I mean it,” you said, burying your face in his shoulder, “I can’t go there.”
“That letter says you have to.”
“Can’t we pretend we never got it?”
“No,” he scoffed. “Don’t think too much about it right now. We have important things to go over.”
“Like what?”
“What you’re going to wear, for one thing. Your outfits are cute and casual, which is fine any other time, but not for this.” He sighed, hands on your biceps, “There’s not enough time for Wooyoung to make anything new, so we’ll have to find something in the closet. You need to look like a proper lady.”
“I can be a lady.”
“I’m not denying you can’t be,” he said, “But if you want to continue living here, we need to convince Lilith that you’re not being forced to stay here.” He paused, “You do know that, right?”
“I do,” you said, hugging him again. “I like it here actually. The food’s great, the greenhouse is lovely, the staff is more than helpful and you…” you smiled up as you pulled him to you by his shirt collar, “Have been so good to me.”
Seonghwa’s hands ended up on your hips, “I wouldn’t be anything else. Even with your freedom, you’re still my special Kitten. All I want to do is take care of you.” He played with the end of your hair, focused on the way it felt between his fingers, “I knew you were special when we met-”
“-Spare me the ‘I-knew-you-were-special’ pitch,” you said, giving a disarming smile, “Jongho and Yunho already used it.”
“Ugh,” he grunted, “That was going to be my line.” The two of you chuckled softly, then he said, “But they're right. I couldn’t place my finger on it at the time, but the first whiff of your scent threw me off. Not because you were a human dressed as succubus, but because humans typically didn’t have specific scents. The brothel girls often smell like a mix of every demon they’ve been humped by; they smell like flesh and blood. You didn’t. You smelled-”
“-Like honey?” you guessed, remembering what he’d told you.
“Yes,” he admitted. “It was electrifying. I never experienced anything like that before you. It didn’t feel like a normal fuck for me. It felt intimate. It felt real. Every time feels like the first time with you. Rolling around in the sheets with you and my brothers,” he caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers, “Is encapsulating. For those few moments-”
“-It’s like nobody exists but us?” you interrupted, taking his hands in yours.
“Exactly. I get so wrapped up in you, in them, that I don’t notice anything around me. I only think and care about you, Kitten,” he pecked your lips softly, “And how my butterflies dusted off their wings when we first kissed. They haven't flown in centuries.”
“Let’s get them some exercise then,” you grinned, arms sliding around his neck.
Seonghwa’s arms went around you: one hand slid up your back to your neck while the other went the opposite direction. Your fingers tangled in the ends of his black hair, feeling the silky curls on your fingertips up to the roots in his scalp. For that brief moment, Seonghwa drowned every sense. He became another world to get lost inside of. Neither of you noticed loyal servant, Yunho, standing nearby still until he coughed for attention.
“Sorry, sir,” he said, nodding curtly, “But the messenger is outside waiting for a response.”
“Tell them she’ll be there soon,” he replied, only focusing on you. “Right now, she’s mine. All mine.”
“As you wish, sir.”
Yunho walked away, and Seonghwa took you over to the work table again. This time, neither of you concerned yourself with the plant and instead worked on removing each other’s clothes.
All other worries went out the window right then.
****
‘Curtsy like Yunho showed you. Only speak when spoken to. Don’t make direct eye contact with her unless told to do so. Give the brothers glowing reviews on their treatment of you. Don’t mention anything that can possibly cast a negative light on your situation. Lie, if you must. Downplay the sex. Tell her it doesn’t happen as often, and that you’re mainly their female companion, nothing more.’
They gave you so much to remember you thought your head might pop. The ruffled ends of your dress rubbed between your nervous fingers. Off your shoulders, the pale pink chiffon dress came with embroidered pink freesias and leaves. Seonghwa thought covering you in florals might endear your grandmother to you more. You hoped that it’d work because otherwise you’d be at a disadvantage. In a white and gold carriage, the four of you sat together against the comfortable seats as it went through town.
“Do you remember what we told you to say?” Seonghwa asked.
The brothers wore fine tailored suits for the occasion. Seonghwa wore a black and white suit, sleek with clean silhouettes; Hongjoong added a bit more color with the crimson serpent and rose pattern shimmering faintly on the jacket. San kept himself modest and simple with a 3-buttoned blue suit, which you couldn’t get enough of. You rarely saw the three of them wearing similar outfits before. Apparently, meeting royalty canceled out personal tastes. You noticed right away your pink dress would make you stand out amongst them even more.
“Yes,” you nodded. The serpent-rose brooch on his breast gleamed in the sunlight, and you realized San and Hongjoong wore a similar one but in gold. Sons of Asmodeus making themselves known in Eden.
“Don’t be nervous.” San sat beside you, his fingers sliding between yours to give a comforting squeeze. “Lilith will love you. Firstly, you’re her granddaughter and also you’re a woman, so you’re immediately in her good books.”
“Yeah, it’s us she’s going to bear her fangs at,” said Hongjoong, slumped in his seat and gazing out the window. “She hates men.”
“Why?”
“She likes to say it’s because she believes the female spirit should be celebrated and how womanhood is under constant threat of the patriarchy,” he said in a bored tone, “But everyone knows it’s because of Adam.”
“Adam? Like, ‘Adam and Eve’? That Adam?”
“Yup. Word was that they were madly in love, but when she disobeyed God, God created Eve to replace her,” he said. “And Adam then fell in love with Eve. I don’t remember the full story, but apparently Lilith managed to corrupt Eve, kill Adam and then claimed Eden as her own. She brought it down here, and started planting her Garden of Daughters.”
“Garden of Daughters?”
“She created her children from plants,” explained San, “So then she could control the sex of the babies. She only wanted girls.”
“Eden is a paradise,” Hongjoong smirked to himself. “The most beautiful women in all of Hell live there. God, I would’ve given anything to have my pick of them once.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You,” he smiled over at you, giving a subtle wink that warmed your cheeks. “Here, let me fix this.”
He reached over to straighten the pink diamonds hanging from your neck. He did nothing to hide his leering. His eyes stayed directly on your bosom, gently brushing it. When he settled it properly, he traced the back of his finger down to the tiny bit of cleavage. You already saw all the dirty thoughts running through his mind, creating a sly smirk.
“You look beautiful like this,” he pondered, finger tracing over the tops of your breasts. His light touch spread warmth that had nothing to do with the sun. “I personally prefer you naked, but this is a good substitute.”
“Seonghwa told me walking around Eden fully nude isn’t ‘acceptable behavior’.”
“Ah, what does he know? He always pisses on everyone’s parade-”
“-You two do know I’m right here?-”
“-Come here,” Hongjoong beckoned you closer, “Give me a kiss.”
“No kisses,” Seonghwa pulled him back into his seat. “We don’t have any cold serum on us, and if she walked up to Lilith stinking of your cum, it might deflect from the picture we’re trying to paint.”
“A little one won’t hurt,” he insisted, puckering his lips at you, but you shook your head and laughed.
“Seonghwa’s right,” you said. “There’s plenty of time for kisses later.”
“Promise?” he pouted like a kid being refused candy.
“I promise.”
“What about me?” San’s hand smoothed over your lap to grab your inner thigh, “Do I get kisses later too?”
“As many as you like,” you told him, “And maybe some special ones too?”
“My favorite,” he smiled, leaning close but forcing himself away in a deep breath. “Gosh, I wish I wasn’t so damn weak.”
“Me too,” Seonghwa agreed.
Your devilish giggle amused the men. Demons didn’t differ from humans at all. A little glimpse of your chest or whispered promise of a “special kiss” turned them into melted popsicles. Pride fluttered whenever you left one of them wanting more, knowing that even if they'd owned you, you held the power. Your grandmother might see this at work and decide not to hate you.
“What do you plan to do?” Hongjoong’s question cuts across your thoughts.
“About what?”
“Your mom. She's likely there. What are you going to do if you see her?”
“I don't know,” you said, playing with the ribbon bracelet on your wrist. “I haven't seen her in such a long time.”
You really wouldn't know until you saw her yourself. You pictured the last time you’d seen your mother. It’d been after graduation when you told her you’d be moving in with your friend, Kelly. She begged you to stay; she said she’d leave your father, and you’d move in together. You didn’t believe her. Maybe if you’d agreed to that, you wouldn’t have died in a club bathroom, alone and stinking of booze and sweat. You’re awful. You’re cruel. You deserved to be in Hell, not her.
“I don't think she'd turn you away,” Seonghwa repeated his words from the greenhouse. “She loved you, and likely still does.”
“If she did, she would have known I was here.” It occurred to you that your death preceded hers. She might know you came to Inferno, and doesn't want to see you. You'd understand that, if it were true. “I wouldn't blame her if she didn't.”
“We'll be right next to you the whole time,” San assured you. “If she doesn't want you around, then you know you have us.”
The words comforted you regardless of how small. You wondered what Demon Andi looked like. She must be an imposing figure, since she is Lilith’s daughter. You wouldn't care. Seeing her would be enough.
The Gardens of Eden laid on the far outskirts of Hell. You knew it when you spotted thirty-foot tall hedges encompassing the land. Women in gold breastplate armor and leather walked along the battlements of the gates, keeping eye for visitors. Mingi, the driver for today, pulled up right to the iron gates where two more female guards stood. You only heard bits and pieces of Mingi’s conversation with the guard. The nerves swirling your guts made it difficult to care. You knew nothing about Lilith. She might be a horrid mistress of darkness who’d punish you for what you’d done. She might be so offended she’d strip you of everything. You saw yourself not putting up a fight this time.
Mingi drove through Eden, and you saw the quaint shops and houses lining the stone streets. Everything had some kind of vegetation growing around or on it. From bus benches to official looking buildings, Eden truly looked like Heaven in Hell. The air did not feel so hot, and the sun shined even with thin clouds covering the sky. It was when you arrived at the main “palace” that you paid real attention. Reaching up into the sky, the palace sat on a high hill with three walls descending in size circling the place. Flowers you'd never seen before you poked out of the cracks and overran the gates. It looked magnificent. It reminded you of fairytale castles in picture books. Beautiful. Ethereal.
“Mingi! Dude, what’s up?” a female guard beamed brightly at him as he pulled up. “What brings you to this side of Inferno?”
“I have a new Sister,” he answered, nodding to the carriage. “She’s come to see her grandmother.”
The guard brightened at this and peeked into the carriage. Your eyes met hers, and she smiled. “Holy shit,” she laughed, pleased to see you, “Well met, Sister. We’ve been expecting you. Drive on through, Mingi".”
“Thanks, Diana.”
Mingi drove into the palace entrance and parked near a horse stable. More people wearing white and gold went to and fro, focused on their daily tasks than the new ‘Sister’ coming into town. Anxiety doubled when Mingi opened your door. You froze in place, body getting covered in a cold-sweat. You can't do this. You shouldn't do this.
“Don't be scared,” San said, offering you his hand to help you out. “I'm right here.”
But, you’d passed the point of no return. You’d decided you’d go through with this, and you would, no matter what happened. Stepping down from the carriage, you walked with them towards the stone steps leading into the castle.
“Relax,” San said, reassuringly. “Lilith is wonderful really. She might have a bad rep, but she’s very fond of women. She won’t hurt you.”
“She’s a demon princess who feels she’s been lied to,” you noted. “She has every reason to turn me into a frog or a flower or whatever.”
“Not with me around,” he said, kissing your hand. “As long as I’m alive, you’re safe, Darling.”
A bundle of peonies on a wall followed you with their “heads”. Mama. She loved them.
Reaching the tall open doors, more guards stood beside security sensors. Instructed to remove any jewelry or metal items, you did it without thinking. All the castle windows had no glass. Only more plant life. You could feel them feeding off the sun and carbon dioxide in the air, returning it with their own oxygen. Tiny bumblebees floated around flowers on the wall, and butterflies flew near the ceiling. You tried finding comfort in the environment, but it only reminded you of her again. You wished she’d leave you alone, but also remain in your spirit at the same time. She might not even be here. You might be freaking out for nothing. Passing through security, Mingi’s weapons and a blade San kept hidden were turned into an armory window.
“My lords!” a female voice chimed.
You looked up to see a young woman coming down the steps. In a gown of white muslin, she bowed and greeted the four of you. She wore a tiara of daisies atop her dark hair, and painted the same ones around her thin eyes. Unlike succubi, this woman glowed faintly. Something about her radiated warmth and gentleness. You weren't sure how, but a connection happened between you. This intensified when she locked eyes with you and smiled brightly. You felt as if you knew her, though you’d never met.
“Welcome Sister YN,” she said. “Her Highness has been eagerly waiting for you. We are so glad you've arrived at last. I'm Artemis, Daughter to Lady Rhea. We’re cousins!” she nearly leapt as she hugged you tightly, giggling with delight.
“A cousin?” you never thought about your extended family. Your mother never mentioned them. She always steered away from the conversation whenever you’d asked. “Um, wow. Nice to meet you.”
“Where is Her Highness?” Seonghwa asked, searching for her in the large hall.
“In the citrus groves,” Artemis answered, her eyes surveying him. “She is taking tea there right now. She wishes to see you and your brothers as well.”
“Lead on, then.”
Artemis linked her arm with yours to guide you ahead of the men. “I can't believe she invited them here,” she huffed irritably. “Men in Eden. It’s not right.”
“Men don’t live here?”
“No,” she shook her head. “Before your mother left us, we weren’t allowed to leave Eden. Grandmother said that our walls and gardens are meant to protect us from those who would hurt us.”
“They’re not like that,” you told her, recalling how the masters treated you before you gained freedom. “They might not be Prince Charming, but they’re good ones.”
“Psh, there’s no such thing. You’ll see that with time, Sister.”
“Maybe that’s why they’re so worried about meeting her,” you said.
“They should be,” she replied. “Princess Lilith is the Guardian of Eden, the Queen of Flowers, and Mother of Womankind. She protects all women, and celebrates their femininity. Were it not for her, many of us would be pleasure slaves in the slums or working in the circles.”
You tried hiding your face, shame coming over you. You'd made that choice: escaping one evil to end up in another. For a brief moment, you imagined a life where you knew the truth. But, this thought was interrupted by music.
A tranquil melody came from somewhere nearby. In a courtyard of flowers, you saw three women sitting on stone benches. They all wore long thin dresses they kept belted at their waists. Hair falling down their backs, they might’ve been mistaken for angels if it weren’t for the curled horns and tails poking through their gowns. One woman sat playing a lyre lightly, while the other two harmonized in song. You recognized the language as Latin, or at least you thought so. The women must’ve felt your stare since they gazed up as you walked by. They smiled and waved, and you did the same. Comforting. This castle felt comforting and safe.
“Good morrow, Sister,” one passing woman said to you and Artemis.
“Um, morning?”
“Morning Sister Calypso.”
“Is everyone here related?” you asked Artemis.
“Sister is the general term,” she explained. “Ladies of Eden see all women as sisters and Princess Lilith is our mother. She birthed most of us in her gardens, while some are granddaughters of different generations.”
“They mentioned I'm a first-generation granddaughter?”
“You're one of the first granddaughters.”
“There are others?”
“Oh yes. Princess Lilith had twelve daughters. For instance, I’m a first generation too because my mother, Rhea, is Lilith’s third daughter.” Artemis then looked at you curiously, “Did you not know that?”
You had twelve aunts? Twelve? “No. My mother never mentioned them to me.”
“Then this will truly be a grand homecoming!” she beamed, unbothered by your ignorance. “Everyone’s here! Everyone! Oh, I just know the other girls will be excited to meet you. You’re all they’ve talked about since this morning. I know I’ve been elated. It’s always wonderful when a new Sister comes to Eden.”
Artemis then led you into a citrus grove. The fragrant smell of oranges, peaches, lemons, grapefruits and other citrus fruits wafted between the trees. You imagined they stayed ripe and growing regardless of season. Mama had a mango tree once, and she’d let you pick them when they became ripe. She’d love it here, you knew that much.
The sound of laughter carried through the trees from up ahead. Your feet turned cold and numb in your sandals, and your sweaty hands skidded on the smooth fabric. The row of trees ended in an archway leading into a small enclosure of more flowers and fruits. At a stone table, three women sat chattering over a game of cards. Two of them wore the white flowing garb of Ladies, while a third wore a peach colored one. She had a golden circlet in her black hair, several purple orchids molded into the band. Her otherworldly appearance intimidated and fascinated you. Her long horns stretched behind her, and she'd put gold bands around her short tail. This was Lilith, your grandmother.
“Grandmother,” Artemis brought you through the archway, “Our new Sister has arrived.”
All three women turned when you approached. Lilith gazed upon you, studying from afar. For a moment, you worried she’d transform you into a plant or bug to stomp on you, but no. Instead, the Queen of Flowers smiled fondly. All three women stood up from the table, and she walked over to you. Crimson eyes scanned over your face many times, as if examining a beautiful painting.
“Well, look at you,” she finally said, lifting your chin to turn your face side to side. “Oh,” she sighed, “Such a gorgeous flower. You really do look like Andromeda. If you’d come to me from the beginning, you would’ve flourished so well here.”
“Thank you, Your Highness?”
She laughed, a chime in the wind, “Call me ‘Grandmother’, darling. Every Sister here does.”
Her warmth turned icy as she gazed upon Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and San behind you. “My lords,” she said coldly, hands clasped in front of her, “Welcome to Eden.”
“Thank you for inviting us, Your Highness,” Seonghwa said with a curt bow. “It's a pleasure to see you again, Auntie.”
“It'd be a merrier occasion if it weren't marred by current events. Tell me,” she stepped forward, “When did you plan on informing me of my granddaughter?”
“As soon as her paperwork went through,” Seonghwa answered. “I swear, Your Highness, we didn't know she was a cambion. We were equally surprised when her powers began flourishing. I suspect being in a demonic environment triggered her dormant abilities. We, of course, would have told you once we had confirmation of who and what she was. YN wanted to visit right away, but we told her we should wait. This delay wasn’t her fault at all.”
“And how long had she been your pleasure slave?” This question stunned the men, so she continued, “Demons such as yourselves would not take up a beauty like YN because she's a good servant. I am more than aware of a man's appetites and inability for self-control. How long?”
“Three months or so,” he answered honestly.
Her disapproval came out in a soft grunt.
“We never did anything Lady YN didn't already want,” he continued. “We would never do anything to hurt YN.”
“As far as you know, boy,” she said spitefully. “YN?” her tone suddenly turned soft again as she turned to you. “Is this true?”
“Yes,” you admitted, looking into her eyes. “You might look down on that-I don't know- but I have enjoyed living with them. They treat me well there, and even more so now that I'm no longer a slave.”
She considered this. Like with Seonghwa, you felt her surveying you. “Is that so?” you saw a teasing smirk cross face, “You're a true Lady of Eden then. I only ask because men can be aggressive when they want something a woman won't give them,” she told you gently. “You were a slave for so long. Imagining what men put you through sickens me. If I knew about you earlier, you'd be living here where you're safe.”
“She's perfectly safe with us, Auntie,” San said. “I'd never let anyone or anything harm YN. She has become very special to all of us.”
“She also has a bodyguard who watches over her day and night,” Seonghwa added.
“With those plants of hers, she's not exactly a helpless kitten anymore,” Hongjoong said. “Her blood is poisonous and her pets are very protective of her.”
“Pets?”
“The plants in my greenhouse,” you told her. “Seonghwa's experiments. They went a long time without being taken care of, so I have been watching over them. They’re pretty attached to me, I think.”
“How intriguing,” she said, as if the plants weren't Seonghwa’s idea. She wrapped her arm around yours, “I will take YN from here. You three can wait in the parlor. I think you’ll find it satisfactory.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
Seonghwa lightly kissed your cheek, “See you soon, love.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” teased Hongjoong before he kissed you, “Or anything that I would.”
“I’ll be counting the minutes until I see you again, Darling,” San said in his crooning tone that made you laugh. You laughed in his gentle kiss, shaking your head.
“Ugh, just go,” you said, pushing gently. You watched them leave, putting them to memory before turning to your grandmother. Her confused expression worried you. “Sorry,” you said quickly, “It’s how we, uh, you know, say goodbye.”
She nodded, wrapped her arm around yours and started walking. “How long have you been in Inferno, sweetling?” she asked, not going to touch the romantic display of affection.
“About eight or nine years now,” you admitted, wondering if you should have kissed them in front of her.
“Where did you end up when you arrived?”
“Circle of Lust.”
“As expected,” she snorted, leading you out of the enclosure and through the grove. “A woman as beautiful as you no doubt had plenty of lovers in her lifetime.”
“I might have had a few.”
“How did you pass?”
Shame suddenly came over you. You felt cold as you said, “I overdosed in a bathroom.”
Lilith remained silent a minute, mulling over the information. “How tragic,” she finally said, “That must’ve been terrible for you.”
“I guess. I don’t remember much of it, to be honest. I remember getting super dizzy, and throwing up in the toilet. There was this terrible pain in my chest, so I was breathing hard and choking on the vomit. I sort of, I guess, knew I was dying? I started panicking which made everything worse. When I got here, I was in this big forest for a super long time. I didn’t even know what I was looking for to be honest.”
“Nobody does. That is the purpose of the forest, but you found it eventually. Oh,” she frowned, “I can’t imagine how terrified you’d been. The circles are not gentle places. I understand why you might have chosen to be a pleasure slave.”
“I wanted to escape the circle, and that was the only way.”
Her face soured at that. No doubt hearing about her granddaughter working in a brothel upset her deeply. “How disgusting,” she said, “Those pigs in the slums peddling my daughters and granddaughters to the highest bidders. I’ve seen the conditions those women live in, and it’s despicable. I’d burn the whole damn brothel district to the ground if I could. But, as that’s Asmodeus’s territory, I have no authority there.”
“But, I bet any man who lingers around here ends up in worse shape than if he’d stayed away?”
She smirked, “It’s happened quite a lot. Those demons in the city like sneaking in here to try getting at my girls. The last time one of them did that, I had the scum broken on the wheel. Nobody touches my girls. Nobody.” You heard the bite in her voice as she brought you out of the citrus groves and through a garden path. “Every woman ever born is a giver of life. We take care of the home and hearth; we endure and persevere against the men who do us harm; we fight and stand up for ourselves and our sisters. Our plants,” she stopped by a flower wall, “Our special Eden are our children and our protectors.” She cradled one blossom in her hand, brushing the supple petals with her thumb. “Nature is strong. I’ve seen tornadoes level out entire towns in a single night. I have witnessed the oceans rise and drown thousands of people. I wanted all my daughters to be nature personified, strong and resilient against the odds.”
“That’s admirable,” you stood beside her, taking in the floral wall. “I don’t know if your ideals got through to all your daughters.”
She paused, sadness in her eyes, “Andromeda.”
“Andromeda. She let my father abuse her for years. She took every hit and insult instead of fighting back. If she was a demon, why did she let that happen?”
“Not all strength is physical,” she explained. “It takes lots of endurance and courage to remain in a relationship like that one. I imagine she put up with it for you.”
“For me?”
“If your father hadn’t beat your mother, he certainly would’ve turned on you. Andromeda would take a hundred punches for you. I know she’d jump in front of a knife or a bullet for you.”
Deep down, you knew she spoke the truth. You couldn’t count the amount of times your mother got between you and your father. She’d find a way to redirect his anger to her, so his fists landed on her face instead of yours.
And you abandoned her.
“Is she here?”
“She is. Where did you think I was taking you?”
You left the flowers behind and she brought you into another part of the massive castle gardens.
‘…He’s got something that I can’t resist, but he doesn’t even know that I-I-I exist.”
You heard her before you saw her. Her soft voice moved through towards you like a lighthouse in a bay. Lilith let you go ahead of her while she hung back by the entrance. Surrounded by all varieties of flora, you gulped down the ball in your throat. In a thin dress of pale blue, Lady Andromeda looked different from Andi YLN. Cream-colored horns stuck upwards in waves, with a short matching tail. She wore a headscarf to keep her hair out of her face like at home. Tears burned your eyes looking at her. Every terrible thing you ever said filled your ears and made the feeling worse.
“Other fellas, call me up for a date, but I just sit and wait. I’d rather concentrate on Johnny Angel…"‘
Her voice sounded exactly the same. It washed over you like a cool breeze on a hot day. With her hair held back, you saw her profile. The shape of her nose matched yours, but her jawline came out sharper. Soft lips curled into a smile as she tended to the garden bed. You recognized tomato plants by the ripe fruits hanging off the vines. She’d wept when you walked out of the house, duffle bag over your shoulder and anger in your chest. She begged you to come back. She pleaded for you to stay with her; she said you’d be safer with her. You never wondered what she meant by that. You watched her withered hands work the soil gently, pulling weeds from the bottom. Her singing brought the old favorite back to you, and it came out as easily as breathing.
“And pray that someday he’ll love me, and together we will see how lovely heaven will be…”
The lyrics stamped into your memory flowed out shakily. They came through your thick tears, which flowed freely down your cheeks to your jaw. She stopped singing right away. Her hands stayed in the dirt, staring at the plants. Slowly, your mother turned her head to look at you. Regret brought forth more tears as you stepped into the sunshine. Her eyes, a similar shade to yours, stared at you in shock and disbelief.
“YN?” she whispered your name, hands curling into her dress. “Is that…”
“Hi Mama.”
Andromeda carefully stood up and faced you. She nervously walked towards you, drinking in the vision of you. You looked over her face again, remembering every smile. Any moment, you expected claws to sink into your shoulders to drag you from her. They’ll pierce your skin, whispering the hurtful things you said and claimed. You weren’t worthy of this reunion. You should never have dared show your face to her. The closer she came, the more tears she shed. She hates you.
“Little Andi…” she said, “My honey cake…Look at you,” she exhaled through her chest, “You’re so beautiful; so much more than I ever imagined.”
“I’m sorry, Mama.”
You sobbed, and there she came. She wrapped her arms around you, the scent of peonies in her skin and hair. Each sob wracked through your body, uncontrollable in every breath. The trembling went from shoulders to hands; you thought you might get weak knees from it. Every argument. Every disparaging remark. Every time you ever told yourself you hated her rushed back. She'd done so much for you, and you'd kicked her to the curb.
“I left you alone,” you cried. “I left you alone. I’m sorry, Mama. I’m so sorry.”
“Hush now, sweet baby,” she cooed, stroking your hair and pecking your temple. “I expected it to happen, if I’m honest. Daughters of Lilith are hard to keep locked up forever.” She finally lifted your head from her shoulder and cupped your head in her hands. “The only one I couldn’t forgive was myself.”
“For what?” you asked through your tears.
“For not telling you things in the first place,” she said. “I should have. Maybe if I'd been honest, things may have turned out differently. Look,” she released you, though still holding your hands, “Let’s have some tea and we can talk about whatever you want.”
You nodded, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand before she withdrew her handkerchief.
She wiped your cheeks for you, studying your face again. “I bet you were a maneater up there,” she smirked knowingly. “I used to laugh at any boy who ended up infatuated with you. They had no idea who they were getting into.”
“I know. I remember.”
“Lucas,” she called out into the air, “Lucas!”
“Your Highness?” a young boy materialized from the thick hedges, dressed in an outfit made of leaves like Peter Pan. Only difference was his scarlet eyes and the tiny horns sticking out of his head. An Imp.
“We’ll take afternoon tea in the west gazebo today.”
“Right away, my lady.”
She guided you out of her plot and towards the western side of the garden. “What have you learned about yourself so far?” she asked on the way there.
“That I can regrow plants and talk to them,” you said.
“That’s all? Hm, we’ll have to fix that.”
You couldn’t take your eyes off her. You worried if you did, she’d disappear.
“Mama,” you said, “What happened after I left?”
“Not now, YN.”
“Did he get better? Worse?”
“YN.”
“I want to know, Mama,” you told her. “I left you behind. I want to know what ended up happening. He couldn’t have been happy about it.”
She sighed, “He wasn't. He saw it as another servant walking out on him. He didn't even change after I gave him pestilence.”
“Pestilence?”
“Sickness curse. It can take any form of illness, and your father's turned into cirrhosis of the liver,” she said. “The doctors told us it was too advanced and irreversible. They could've done a transplant, but he’d be on a waiting list for a while. He ended up dying before then.” You caught a shadow of a smile on her face, “He was told to stop drinking, and you knew your dad. He always did whatever he wanted; he never listened to anyone, no matter how good the advice. I woke up one day and found him throwing up everywhere. He died at the hospital.”
“You called me,” you said guiltily, “And I ignored your call.”
“I know.”
“I shouldn’t have. I should have gone home for the funeral at least.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted you to.”
She brought you to a wooden gazebo in the middle of a circular garden. Two small children had set up a spread for tea time. At least, they looked like children. You learned a long time ago demon imps often resembled children. The sole difference between an Imp and demon offspring were the eyes: Imps had dark glowing eyes, while demon children only had crimson rings. She brought you over to the table, where they’d set up an afternoon tea setting with tea, finger sandwiches, scones and small tartlets and cakes. You had no appetite. The sadness sitting inside you took up too much space.
“Why would you not want me to come home?” you asked her, watching her prepare a cup of tea. You almost did not want to know the answer, but asked.
“They would have found you.”
You paused, not noticing the Imp placing a finger sandwich on your plate. “Who?”
“Demons.” She paused for a moment, eating her sandwich then said, “I didn’t want you to end up here, YN. It’s why I did not register you. It’s why I tolerated and endured your father. His wickedness kept away any demons who might’ve tried sneaking into our home. If they discovered you, they would’ve taken you away from me. I…” she let a small dandelion wrap around her finger, watching it coil like a snake until it sprouted past her fingertip, “I told myself when I left home that I’d follow my own path. I told myself that just because I was a demon did not mean I must live like them. I knew if I had any children, my mother would send demons to bring them here. I didn’t want that. I wanted you to grow up away from this, but it seems it found you anyways.”
“I don’t know, Ma,” you said, “This place is pretty awesome. Where I’m living right now is pretty bitchin’ too.”
She snorted, “Why am I not surprised? My mother will never admit that Asmodeus’s boys always come out so handsome. I just hope they didn't force themselves upon you.”
“Not at all. I like them.”
“Only like?”
“I haven't lived with them very long,” you said.
You took her in as she ate and drank tea. She couldn't be there. This wasn't real. Any second this dream would turn dark and bleak, with its claws forcing you away again. Ever since you arrived at the Black Keep, Mama came to you more and more. You found yourself thinking of sunny days and fresh lemonade. The sight of her sitting so near felt unreal to you; another daydream brought to life to torment you.
“Why did you leave here in the first place?” you asked her. “Seonghwa mentioned something about not being able to leave here?”
“He's right,” she nodded. “Before my return, Ladies of Eden were forbidden to leave the city. My mother claimed it was to keep us safe, but that never sat right with me. I shared the same sentiments as you: I wanted to break free. Eden might be heaven in hell, but it felt so suffocating. Instead of cherishing my darling plants, I felt restrained by their vines. There was a whole world beyond this garden city waiting to be explored. So, one night, when everyone slept, I dug a tunnel and escaped,” she shrugged. “I went to the living world and decided to make a new life there.”
“Didn't you miss it here?”
“I did. I thought about going back several times,” she admitted, eating a finger sandwich. “But then I met your father and things changed.”
“They did?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “He wasn't the way you remember him.” She smiled softly, “He was charismatic and charming. He liked flowers, poetry and music. We used to go to dances and dance the night away, drinking and kissing. I never felt that way for anyone before. I'd never fallen for a man. I'd been taught they were violent, evil beings, but your father didn't seem that way.”
“Then he became a drunken asshole.”
“Your father went through a lot during the war, honey,” she said. “A lot of men did back then. I tried getting through to him, but nothing I said worked. Your father….A part of him died on the battlefield, I think.”
“Is he…” you felt afraid to ask, “Is he here? In Hell?”
“No,” she shook her head, “He went to Purgatory when he died.”
“Really?”
“He hadn't sinned enough to end up here but wasn't good enough for Paradise,” she said. “In Purgatory, he can repent and earn his way there. Kind of like how people here can fight in the arena to win their ticket to Purgatory.”
“Have you seen him?”
“No.”
“Would you ever want to?”
She hesitated, sipping from her tea cup. “Yes.”
“Really? Why?”
“I don't know. To slap him? To kiss him? To tell him that I hated him, loved him, missed him, wanted him dead, wanted him alive? I don't know, darling.” You watched her grow a daffodil from out of her palm. She looked at it with forlorn eyes, “We had our first kiss in this meadow outside of town. He blew on a daffodil, and when I asked him what he wished for, he said he wished for me to kiss him.” She laughed softly, “I loved him so much back then. I thought he was the love of my life.”
“You thought?”
“Yes, until I met someone else.” She looked over at you, tears in her eyes and daffodils spiraling around her fingers. “You were the most precious being I'd ever seen. I realized I hadn't known true love until you came. I held you in my arms that night in complete disbelief. I couldn't believe a creature like me created something so pure and innocent. I never loved anything as wonderful as-YN?”
And you hated her. You, her true love, hated and ignored her. She loved you beyond all reason, never giving up on you once, and there you'd been: in your designer outfits scowling as you held the phone to your ear. You couldn't imagine the heartache you'd caused. Tears stung around your sinuses, and you sniffled them away until they poured back out. Your head fell into your hands, body shaking in each hard sob. The day you died must have been the worst day of her entire life. When her gentle hands touched your arm, you knew she'd comfort you like she always did.
“Come here,” she said, gradually pulling you to face her. With your body turned to her, your mother tenderly removed your hands from your face.
“Why don't you hate me?” you asked her thickly.
“I'm incapable of hating you,” she answered, tears starting to form in her eyes. “Even when you walked out of my life, I loved you. You might understand that some day, but I couldn't hate you ever.” She wiped your tears with her handkerchief again, “I do wish you'd stayed with me, but I knew you had to go. I knew you had to spread your wings and fly away from home, even if that leaving me-”
“-I was so mean to you,” you rasped. “I never called or wrote to you. I told people I either didn't have a mom or that we don't talk anymore. Mama,” you took both her hands, “I used to like telling myself I lived with no regrets. But, I've realized that isn't true. I regret cheating people out of their money. I regret getting high in the bathroom. I regret being cruel to you, Mama,” you said in a breath. “I regret drifting away and never looking back. Maybe if I had-”
“-Let's not live with ‘Maybe’,” she interrupted. “She's a bitch and says mean things.” She tucked hair from your face and said, “I don’t hold it against you, love. It must’ve seemed that way to you because you didn’t know the truth. I should have told you. There’d been so many times where I considered it, but by the time I decided, you’d already gone. The past is the past, sweetheart. The best thing the two of us can do is move forward from it.” She kissed your cheek, and you basked in the comfort of her kiss. “Eat something. You must be so hungry.”
The two of you sat there for what felt like hours. You learned everything about her then: her birth, her escape, and her life in the living world until she met your father and had you. You told her about your flashy, living fast life before your death. Lovers, enemies and friends all sprung back to you as you talked. You wondered, as you told her a story about a night at a club, if you lived a fulfilling life. It sounded so shallow out loud. You never made lasting connections, never settled down or stopped to relax. Everything was money, sex and power. Nothing meaningful remained to you.
“Think of it like this,” she said when you told her this, “You're getting a second chance.”
“A second chance?”
“You're not a prisoner here anymore,” she said. “You're getting a second life down here; you can make those connections and have that meaningful feeling, whatever they might be.” She hesitated before saying, “You can start with those handsome men who adore you already.”
“They just like screwing me,” you scoffed.
“It doesn’t seem that way to me.”
“You’ve only seen me with them for a few minutes, and we weren’t really talking to one another.”
She laughed at your words. “I don’t need to see it to feel it. I saw the four of you together, and I immediately sensed their protectiveness over you. How Seonghwa was quick to tell your grandmother that none of it was your fault; San holding your hand so comfortingly, telling you it would be okay-”
“-How?”
“The flowers, Darling,” she said, the daffodil sprouted brand new as her words. “Sons of Lust do not attach to partners very easily. Most of them never marry or take up personal slaves. Yet, here are three of them being more than fond of a single person.” She let the flower swirl around her hand, “When you can see through your flowers, you’ll be able to watch them as much as they watch over you.”
“My flowers…When can I learn how to do that?”
“With time and practice.” She then said, “I can teach you. If anyone should be showing you how to hone your talents, it should be another botanical sorceress, not a bunch of horny incubi.”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course I would,” she smiled. “Why would I not? I would’ve been your teacher if you’d known sooner. You could also learn from your aunts, your cousins, your nieces-”
“-I have nieces?!-”
“-And your grandmother, of course, will insist on teaching you. They’re all masters in various aspects of our kind, so you wouldn’t be missing out on anything.”
“We’d love to teach you!”
You and your mother turned to see two women standing a few feet away. The blond wore a soft yellow gown while the brunette wore a lavender dress with floral borders. When they smiled at you, a special kind of warmth surged in your chest. You had never seen these women in your life, yet you felt as if you knew them. The same feeling you had with Artemis.
“YN,” your mother stood up and you copied her, “These are two of your aunts: Gaia,” the blond curtsied, “And Rhea.”
“Hello,” you smiled at them.
“You really do look like Andromeda,” Rhea said in a low voice, marveling over you as they approached. “I always wondered what natural born daughters might look like. My own girls hardly look anything like me.”
“Neither do mine.”
“Your daughters? You mean, my cousins, right?”
“Yes,” Gaia giggled. “If a certain someone,” she shot a look to your mother, “Had told us about you in the beginning, you would’ve known all of us. Oh,” she hugged you tightly, which made you laugh, “How we’re so glad you’re here! We’re always happy to welcome a new daughter!”
“You had your turn, Sister,” Rhea told your mother, “We’re taking her to the rose gardens now.”
“No, Sisters, I think that’s too soon.”
“Too soon for a girl to meet the rest of her family?” she questioned, already taking your hand in hers. “Mother insists on it.”
“My girls are going to love you!” Gaia beamed.
*****
The rose gardens must've been an Eden daughter hangout. Several poofs, pillows and blankets scattered around like picnic spots with a pavilion in the center. Underneath it sat a group of girls in the flowing dressdz and floral crowns of Eden Ladies. They appeared to be chatting together with a spread of food and drinks in front of them. All of them looked like the epitome of beauty. You understood what Hongjoong meant by wishing he could stay. You would too, if you were him.
“Ladies!” Gaia clapped her hands for attention, “Ladies!”
The girls all turned to look at her. “Your cousin is here,” Rhea said with a smile. “Lady YN, Marchioness of the Trees and a Lady of Eden. She’s your Aunt Andromeda’s daughter, so she's your first gen-”
“-Cousin!” The group cried in unison, rushing down the steps to you.
You didn't have a moment to breathe before they were on you. Kisses, tight hugs and excited squeals surrounded you. Somehow, the group guided you over to the pillows and blankets in the pavilion without you realizing. You finally got a look at all four of them: you recognized Artemis, but you didn't know the other three. They all wore different flowers in their hair, likely signifying something about them.
“Um, uh, hi?” you began with uncertainty.
“YN,” Artemis began, “Allow me to introduce our first cousins: This is Kali, Aunt Rhea's daughter,” the brunette with the button nose and square jaw waved, “This is Hera, Aunt Aurora's daughter,” the freckled red haired girl smiled, “Aurora's your mother's sister; you haven't met her yet.”
“Okay, cool.”
“And I'm Hestia!” the youngest of them chimed in. She had lilies weaved into her long, coarse braid, and large almond eyes. “Sister Freya’s my mother. You haven't met her either but she's going to be thrilled when you do. We heard about you this morning, and we've gotten a bunch of stuff ready for you.”
“Like what?”
“Your garden patch for one,” said Hera. “We put all the tools you might need, if you're the kind to tend the plants by hand. I personally prefer using magic, but everyone's different.”
“There's also your room,” Kali said. “Grandmother said you can sleep in the room next to Andromeda’s, so you guys are together.”
“How was your talk with her?” asked Artemis curiously. “My mother said she'd kept you a big secret from us. You guys must have had fun catching up.”
“It was…special, for sure. I never thought I'd see her again,” you said. “I didn't know I was part demon until Seonghwa and his brothers bought me. Well,” you thought for a moment, “They technically stole me since San killed my previous owner-”
“-You were a slave?” asked Hestia, her eyes wide. “How terrible!”
“Yeah, for a while. But, it's how I found out who and what I am.”
“Wait, you mentioned Seonghwa,” said Kali. “Asmodeus’s son?”
“Yeah.” You saw their unsettled glances, “Why? What's wrong with that?”
“It's not that it's…” she exchanged a glance with Hera, who hid a giggle behind her hand. She then blurted out, “Oh my god, what are they like?!”
“Huh?”
“Are they romantic? Passionate?”
“What stuff do they like?!”
“They’re so dreamy,” Hestia swooned. “Seonghwa’s eyes are like deep pools I could stare in forever. He’s so sophisticated and smart.”
“Hongjoong’s such a rebel,” said Hera, the tips of her ears turning pink. “He never does anything people tell him; he doesn’t act like the other men that come here. They’re all so boring.”
“And he’s so exciting!” beamed Kali. “I heard he used to go to the brothels in the city and buy the whole house for himself. One girl said he could go for hours.”
“Ugh, gross,” said Aretmis with her arms crossed. “I can't believe you three. Daughters of Lilith fawning over useless man-things. It's shameful.”
“It's okay to look, Sister,” Hera reasoned. “We like men but we don't like them,” she explained to you. “They like seeing us women as playthings, so why shouldn't we see them the same way?”
“I get that,” you nodded. “I used to be the same way. Men liked to use me, so I used them back. It definitely got me farther than it did for them.”
“Ooh, tell us more!”
You spent some time telling the girls about your experiences with men. From high school athletes to hot shot business guys, every man you’d slept with gained you something in return. Whether it be popularity, a higher status or money, you never hooked up with someone unless it benefitted you. The meaningful relationships you could have built really turned into stepping stones to something better. Once a guy began boring you or lost his purpose in your life, you found another. The men in clubs or bars were the morsels you devoured in between. Some treated you well, others not so much. By the time you entered enslavement, you’d learned how men think and act.
“They don’t act any differently down here,” you shrugged, picking at a grape from the spread. “It was rough at first, but once I figured out my place in the world, I adapted to it.”
“That must have been difficult still,” Artemis frowned. “Having men abuse you night after night, being demeaned and having your dignity stripped off you little by little…I’m surprised you’re not sick or pregnant from being in those places.”
“I guess I was lucky,” you shrugged.
“Then you were bought by our uncles,” said Kali.
“In a way. They’re saints compared to the way some men before have treated me.”
“What I can't get over is how you disrespected so many of your fellow women,” Artemis said. “Women are blood through our feminine spirit. You went around sleeping with other womens’ husbands and boyfriends to satisfy and secure your own needs. You speak about ruining people's relationships as if it doesn't matter to you. Didn't that bother you?”
“It does now, I suppose. I never thought of it like that. Breaking people up wasn't my intention.”
“Only an unexpected result,” she drawled.
“But, they weren't the only casualties in your search for power and money,” Hera noted, sipping from a wine cup. “You were hurt as well. You might have not known it at the time, but those fleeting relationships left you empty inside. I know they must have. None of your lovers stayed, did they? They always picked their wives or girlfriends over you, didn't they?”
“Funny you mentioned that,” you said, finding the irony humorous. “I told my mother the same thing. I spent so much of my life floating around that I didn't make anything lasting. The friendships I had were shallow and self-serving. The romantic relationships I built could be torn down in minutes. I thought I was living at the time, and in a way I did, but was I really?”
You heard the hedge nearby shift slightly, and every nerve in you stiffened. As the girls discussed their opinions on men, you took a whiff of the downwind scent. Cinnamon. Candy. Roses. Your boyfriends clearly hadn't gone to the men's quarters as directed.
“Getting married and having children isn’t a marker of having lived well,” said Hestia. “That’s what my mother says. It can be for some people, but not everyone.”
“Being charitable, loving with your heart and building a home and community of people you care about,” said Artemis. “Scheming, cheating, lying, and ruining others' lives in pursuit of your own desires doesn’t sound meaningful to me. It sounds exhausting. It sounds lonely and sad at the end. Burning so many bridges leads to loneliness. I’m not saying you need to be best friends with everyone, but having people who love you isn’t bad.”
“My mother loved me,” you said out loud, though you hadn’t thought about it. “She loved me regardless of what I did or said. I…” you stopped eating the grapes. That sinking guilt weighed down your stomach, “I never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally.”
“As it should be.”
Their scent came to you once more. You turned your head to the bushes and called out.
“I know you guys are there!”
“Huh?” Artemis looked in their direction, “Who's here?”
“Seonghwa, Hongjoong and San.”
“Where?” asked Hestia hopefully.
“Behind the bushes,” you nodded toward the tall hedges lining the garden. “We know you’re there!”
“They're not allowed here,” the eldest said, crossing her arms. She stood up as she said, “Come out of the bushes, you! My grandmother is going to be livid when she finds out you're not in the men's area.”
“We come in peace, oh Divine One,” Hongjoong broke through the hedge first, hands up in surrender. “We wanted to make sure our beloved wasn't upset. She was nervous about coming, and we got worried.”
“As you can see, she's fine,” she replied. “You can leave.”
“Last time I checked,” Seonghwa and San appeared next, “You were a rank below us, so you can't tell us what to do, Marchioness.”
Artemis scowled, unable to refute this. “Let them stay, Cousin,” Kali said. “They obviously aren't here to hurt any of us.”
“Hm, yes,” she said spitefully, “They’re here to collect their plaything. YN’S a free woman now, and she doesn't need your permission or supervision to be here. So, go.”
“How was your visit, Darling?” San asked, ignoring her as he approached you. “I hope it didn't go too badly.”
“‘Darling’?” Artemis scoffed. “You even call her by demeaning nicknames?”
“It's not demeaning,” you told her. “I let them call me by their little pet names. It's cute,” you grinned back at San. “It went better than I thought. We sat and talked over tea for a while. I didn't realize exactly how much I missed her until then.”
“Grandmother will be furious if she finds out you're here.”
“But you ladies are so much more fun than that boring room,” said Seonghwa sitting between you and Hestia. “There isn't anything for me to do in there,” he told her, letting the suggestion linger to make the young woman giggle and blush. “What's your name, beautiful one?”
“Hestia,” she said shyly.
“That's a beautiful name. You're one of Aurora's daughters, right?”
“No, Freya’s,” she shook her head.
“Ah, yes, of course,” he said in fake realization. “You know, she's my favorite cousin.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and you're just as lovely as her.”.
“Hi Hongjoong,” Hera said timidly, playing with her hair as he sat with her and Kali.
“Hello Hera,” he replied kindly. “Hello Kali.”
“You remember us?” Hera asked with a sweet smile.
“How could I forget you two? The dance you both did at the Hallow’s Eve festival was…inspiring,” he smirked at their bashful faces.
You couldn't help the stab of jealousy seeing the flirtation. San caught onto this right away, “It gets us to stay here,” he explained. “We wanted to see you. It really is boring in the men’s quarters. It's literally just a room with a table and a chair.”
“I still don't like it.”
“Flirting doesn't mean they love you less, Darling,” he said, brushing hair from your shoulder. “It's a bit of fun, that's all. You can have fun with us too,” he pecked your lips, “Lots of it.”
You chuckled softly, “Is this all I do for you? Turn you on?”
“You actually make me incredibly soft,” he admitted. “I used to think I had no weaknesses; I thought I was unstoppable, invincible. But then one night this human slave dressed as a succubus came into my life, looked at me with innocent eyes and became my everything. I only think of you. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, you're in the back of my mind. I know they feel the same way,” he nodded over to his brothers. “It's just in us to do this. We thought flirting with some of them might get us a ticket out of that stupid room. And, I don't know about you, it seems like it's working.”
“They need to go,” Artemis said once more.
“Artemis, they're not hurting anyone,” Kali said, smiling at Hongjoong. He relished in the attention from the two women, whispering to Hera who giggled. “That men's room really gets boring, and there's no food there.”
“You must be hungry, my lord,” said Hera.
“Famished,” Hongjoong replied. They both chuckled when she fed him s strawberry.
“Me too,” said Seonghwa. “But, I think a kiss might stave off my hunger. Don't you think so, Hestia?”
“A kiss? Oh my…” she said, tucking hair behind her ear. “My grandmother would be upset if she heard I'd kissed you.”
“Which is why no kissing is happening,” snapped Artemis. “Can't you see what they're doing? You girls should be ashamed of giving into their charms so easily. Ladies of Eden don't conduct themselves like pleasure slaves. Grandmother will be furious when she finds out.”
“I can kiss more than one of you,” said Hongjoong, turning to her. “I've heard your kisses are quite sweet, Lady Artemis.”
“So did I,” Seonghwa grinned. “Kissing doesn't hurt. We can show you, if you'd like.”
“No, because I'm not that kind of woman,” she said crossly. “I'm getting Diana.”
“Come on, Artemis,” you spoke up. “They're only talking. Okay, flirting too,” you said distastefully, “But it's not like they're trying to hurt them.”
“You don't understand, YN. Men aren't allowed in Eden in the first place. Their intentions are never good, ever.”
“Hello, Lady Artemis.” Mingi’s deep voice came from behind her. Your bodyguard stood at the top step, hands in his pockets and a soft smile on his face. “It's nice to see you again.”
“Hello, Mingi,” she faced him, irritated by the men’s sudden appearance. “I was just telling your masters that they can't be here and neither can you.”
“I'm only a servant. I have no power over my masters, as you well know.” He took a step to her, “I thought we could go to your archery range? I saw you had a new bow and quiver, and I wondered if I could try it out.”
“Really?” she said, unconvinced. “So your masters can defile my sisters?”
“Defile is a harsh word. My masters never take a woman against her wishes, and you have my word on that.”
You saw him go closer to her, and by his soft eyes and smile, he worked his own incubus magic on her. San turned your head to him, and he kissed the corner of your mouth. His fingers trailed from the nape of your neck to your collarbone. You shuddered when he reached the neckline of your dress.
“Can I see them?” he asked, kissing your neck. “I haven't seen them in so long. I need to touch them or I'll go insane.”
“Here? In the place you're not supposed to be that hates men who objectify women?” you laughed, amused by his eagerness.
“I'll risk it.”
“She broke a man on the wheel. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds awful.”
“Again,” he kissed your neckline, “I'll risk it. Besides, look at them.”
You turned to see Seonghwa giving flustered Hestia gentle kisses that slowly grew deeper. Hera and Kali took turns kissing Hongjoong, who rested against a pillar as both women felt up his chest. Mingi managed to lure Artemis away from the pavilion, leaving all of you alone. You thought your cousins might eventually snap out of it, and slap your boyfriends. However, things only became more heated, especially when Kali slipped her gown off her shoulders to show Hongjoong her breasts. He sighed when Hera did the same, groping one from each of them.
“Would you like me to touch you?” you heard Seonghwa whisper to Hestia, “Or do you want to keep kissing a bit more?”
“Can we kiss a bit more?”
“Of course. Whatever you want to do, my lady.”
He laid her down against the pillows, resting at her side as he continued kissing her. San’s lips distracted you once again, and you looked at him. “I suppose you can have a little peek,” you said, pushing down the top half of your dress and showing him the matching pink bra.
You put his hands on them, inhaling when he squeezed them softly. San rested you on the cushions behind you as he started kissing down to your cleavage. He lifted your dress over your thighs, settling between them and tugging your bra under your tits. San let out a soft moan once he revealed them, then bent to kiss each of them. Your hands slid from the back of his neck into his hair, gripping the short strands to guide him over them. You could hear distant muffled moaning and soft kisses from nearby, but you became too entranced by San’s mouth on your nipples. Your brain connected each spark of pleasure to the spots his tongue hit, whimpering when he rapidly flicked one of them. A part of you knew how bad this might look. You knew you should stop, go home, and continue there. But, San’s cock brushed your naked core, and you slowly floated off.
“You’re not wearing panties,” he whispered, kissing your lips softly.
“They show through the dress layers,” you said. “Might be why everyone around here wears them. I think I might adopt the style.”
“Just to torture me, right?” he said, cupping your tits to suck your hard nipples.
“No,” you shook your head, “To tease you all so much you bend me over the nearest surface and pound my pussy hard and fast.”
“You wouldn’t need to with those lips.”
“It’s not as fun if I’m only kissing you to get dick,” you replied. You reached down to his groin where you felt his bulge. “I like getting it the old fashioned way.”
“Then I’ll give it to you the old fashioned way.”
He’d started unbuckling his pants when a pale pink blur brushed near you. “What the hell is going on here?”
Your mother stood in the middle of the pavilion, hands on hips and outrage on her face. Her ‘scary mom’ face. Even years later in Hell, that face still struck fear in you. Quickly, you and your cousins covered yourselves up, while the men appeared annoyed at the sight of her.
“We’re only having a bit of fun, Andromeda,” said Seonghwa, not moving from his spot with Hestia. You noticed her out of breath with swollen lips, with her hand on top of his where her breasts were. “No harm being done here.”
“Do you three have a death wish?” she hissed. “If anyone else finds you like this, they’ll have you strung up by your balls for sure.”
“Nobody would have if you hadn’t shown up,” Hongjoong said, clearly irritated at being interrupted.
“Shut it, boy,” your mother spat. “Girls, I am very surprised and ashamed of you. If your grandmother heard about this, she’d have a fit. You know how she feels about you coupling with man-things, so imagine how she’d feel if she found out you were doing it in her gardens.”
“We’re sorry, Auntie,” said Hera, pushing hair from her face.
“Yes, very,” added Kali.
“Get yourselves together and go to your rooms,” she nodded towards the palace. “You’re lucky I’m not telling your mothers about this. I don’t care if you do it, just don’t do it here, got it?”
“Yes, Aunt Andromeda,” the three said together before getting up together.
She then turned her attention to you, “YN, really? Is this the impression you want to give?”
“It sort of happened,” you said sheepishly.
“Which is exactly what you said whenever I found your hand down a boys’ pants,” she spat. “Baby, if you didn’t want to live in the Black Keep anymore, you could say so. You don’t have to get your boyfriends tortured and killed to do it.”
“I would prefer to stay in tact, thanks,” said Seonghwa, standing up. “We only did it so we could see YN,” he told your mother.
“Oh, please. You three just didn’t want to be stuck in the men’s quarters all day,” she accused them.
“That’s just an added bonus.”
“Do you blame us though?” asked Hongjoong. “The men’s quarters are more like a prison cell than an actual room. Besides, we weren’t hurting anyone. We only intended to have a bit of consensual fun, that’s all.”
“You know how Lilith feels about men being in her garden and touching the ladies,” she scoffed. “You are fools for escaping. What if the guard went by and noticed you’re not there? You’d be hunted down just for that.” She took a deep breath, “You boys take YN home before the guards find you here.” She ran a hand through her hair, “I swear, you three…There’s certainly no dispute over whose children you are, that’s for sure. Only Asmodeus’s children would risk their necks for some tail.” She shook her head and took your hands, “Come here tomorrow and we can start your training. There’s so much you need to catch up on.”
“Hold on,” Seonghwa said, “YN’s being trained by myself and her head of house.”
“Not anymore,” she replied coolly. “If anyone should be teaching her, it is those who know her talents best. Besides, it gets you three out of her hair for a few hours.”
“It’s not like I do anything at home anyways,” you told him. “It’d be good for me to get out of the house and do something productive with my time. My closet is only so big.” You hugged your mother again, holding onto the memory of her a moment before letting go. “I'm….Mama….” you couldn't find the right parting words.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she repeated warmly, kissing your cheek. “Get sleep,” she peeked a glance at the men behind you, “Or as much as you can with them around.”
You laughed together before embracing again. Your inner child didn’t want to let her go. She wanted to hold onto her forever, clinging to the person she’d once loved the most. Your mother sensed this and hugged you tighter, her hand stroking your hair. When you forced yourself to release her, she kissed your cheek again. That surreal dread of a dream came back when you looked in her eyes. Apart from the scarlet ring around her irises, they matched yours. Except, yours always carried a look of disdain, while hers showed nothing but love. How could you do that to her?
“Bye, honey cake,” she whispered, pecking your other cheek before stepping away. “Go, before Diana shows up.”
“Yeah, let’s get going,” agreed Hongjoong.
“Go back the way you came, I’ll keep the guards away.”
You hugged her one more time, letting her scent cleave to your nose, then left the garden. In the semi-darkness, the four of you snuck through the garden hedges and walls before coming upon a plain dirt path. In the distance, you heard people shouting to one another as they searched the grounds. You knew you’d need to be quick. Nerves began shooting up your body in each step, and the adrenaline started running down to your feet. You didn’t want to think what might happen if someone discovered you before you reached the castle again. Your first time in Eden and you’d broken a rule already. A warm hand stretched for yours, and you recognized San’s touch right away. He moved ahead of you, walking behind Seonghwa while Hongjoong remained at the rear.
“There it is,” Seonghwa whispered when you all reached the staircase leading back up into the castle.
“You!” a guard dressed in gold and white marched over to him, “Men are not allowed in Eden at dusk. What is your business here?”
“They’re with me,” you said before Seonghwa could speak. “I went to get them from the men’s room-place-thing and we got lost in the garden. It’s my first time here, so I don’t really know my way around yet.”
The woman stared you up and down suspiciously. You thought she’d catch the lie, but instead she said, “I’ll escort you out, my lady. The gates close in a few minutes.”
“Yes, please. Lead the way.”
You followed the guard out to the front entrance where you’d met Artemis that afternoon. The women posted there bowed as you passed. It made you feel important for a second as you reached the carriage nearby. Mingi sat in the driver’s perch, his blond hair slightly tousled and lips a warm pink. He’d clearly found a way to distract Artemis. You all climbed into the carriage quickly, and Mingi cracked the reins.
“I’m glad we made it out,” Hongjoong said, turning to peek into the window, “With our bones still in the right places.”
“Psh, you’re telling me…”
“Speaking of the right places,” San whispered, turning your head by the chin, “Where were we?”
A small chuckle came from your throat as your mouths came together in light kisses. Turning in your seat to face him, San immediately grabbed your breasts and his lips fell down your neck. The familiar hardness in your clit returned at the sudden stimulation. Fingers brushing over your nipples stirred the pot even more, his mouth reaching the neckline of your dress. You let your hands go through his dark hair to keep him close, occasionally feeling down the back of his neck and into his jacket before coming back up.
“Pull the top down,” Seonghwa ordered from nearby, and you turned to see him focusing on you and San. Hongjoong sat beside him, watching as intently. “We want to see them too.”
You lifted your back from the cushions to let San unclip the top part of your dress, then pull the zipper. Your arousal rose when he finally pulled the top half of your dress just beneath your breasts. They all moaned at the sight of your pink satin bra; their jaws dropped when San put them underneath to expose your breasts entirely. The brushing breeze from outside came in through the open windows, going over your nipples and making them cold. San remedied this with his hands and mouth: he scooped them in his palms and tenderly sucked one of them. He shifted around so your legs went over his lap, and immediately started caressing your thighs and legs. Fully on your back, you laid there enjoying his tender touches. Every brush against your skin sparked goosebumps up and down your arms; your soft whimpers became the only sound in the carriage. San eventually lifted up your dress, showing his brothers your bare sex. The three of them groaned. Seonghwa and Hongjoong rubbed their crotches while San squeezed your inner thighs.
“Sannie…” you whined, his thumb dangerously close to your pussy now.
“Give me a hand and touch yourself for me, hm?” he asked, licking your nipple in circles. “Open your legs a bit and let them see you get wet. You know how much we like that.”
They liked it a lot. Moving around until you sat on San’s lap, your back pressed to his chest, you let your legs fall on either side of his open knees. Your sex throbbed at the hands groping your chest, and the lips kissing up your neck and shoulder. You pointedly sucked and wet your fingers, keeping your eyes on the two men in front of you. Your middle and ring finger dragged down your tongue as a real cock might, and then went back up to the last knuckle. The outlines of their dicks started pressing into the pants as they watched your fuck your own mouth. They followed your fingers then down to your damp sex, mouths falling open when you lightly slid them up and down your opening. You went with the natural motions: stroking yourself as you sunk into your pussy little by little. Once past the outer folds, you circled your hard clit on top. Small shocks of pleasure came each time you ran over the center, pushing underneath and back to the hood. In the dimness of the carriage, both of them could see your pussy growing wetter. San tweaking your nipples at the same time added more coal to the fire. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t speed up. You kept the same gradual pace, even spreading your pussy open for them to see your hardening clitoris and empty hole.
“Let me have a little lick,” Hongjoong said, his high voice strangely low as he leaned forward. You trembled at the few swats of his tongue, keeping it open with both hands for him. “Fuck, you taste so good,” he groaned, idly moving the tip of his tongue over your clit. “I can eat this forever.”
Using the flat of his tongue, Seonghwa shook his head to brush over your clit. Then, he took it in his mouth to suck the juices leaking from you. You whined when he withdrew, but San’s fingers fixed that soon enough. He took your clit between index and ring finger and stroked it. You grinded into his hand when you felt his middle finger dip towards your entrance each time, wanting to be filled with it. Your hands gripped the ends of his jacket behind you, trying to keep still as he rubbed your pussy side to side in light, rapid brushes. When he pulled away, his brothers each took a turn doing the same. The brief pauses in between kept you dangling on the edge. You yelped when Hongjoong started tapping and slapping your aching pussy, occasionally shoving fingers inside before pulling them out to smack it again. The twinges of pain only aroused you further. San and Seonghwa followed suit, also smacking and partially fingering you. When both Seonghwa and Hongjoong pushed a finger inside, San continued spanking your pussy.
“It’s been a while since we’ve fucked her together,” said Hongjoong, watching your reactions to his fingers curling alongside his brother’s. “That’s why she’s not wearing panties.” He pushed right to that squishy, soft spot that drove you wild, “You wanted to fuck us in that garden, didn’t you? You were hoping we’d all take a turn in your slutty cunt?”
“Yes,” you whimpered. “I love it when you all fuck me at the same time. It feels so good. I love getting treated like your fuck toy.”
“Then that’s what our little lady will get,” Seonghwa smirked, pushing his fingers faster. “Good thing I told Mingi to take the long way home.”
San rested you on the seat again, lifting one leg over his shoulder to keep you displayed for the others. Anticipation bubbled in your stomach, lowering the further you saw San move. Holding onto the end, San slowly slid the tip up and down the slit to only bring on more torture for you. Nails embedding themselves into the smooth fabric, you grinded to it in hopes of getting him inside you.
“You're so needy,” he growled, smirking down at you before finally pushing the tip. “My pretty Darling always gets so wet,” he withdrew just to rub until a slick sound came out, “You hear that?” he asked, tapping your clit, “That's how wet you are. I love getting you like this,” he breathed finally putting the head inside again, “I love seeing my girl desperately wriggling around to get my dick.”
“She's so cute when she does it,” said Hongjoong. “It's even cuter when she's tied up with no way to get what she wants.”
“I like it when she pretends she's a virgin,” Seonghwa said in a raspy voice. “When she gets on her back,” he started stroking faster, “And tells me she's never done it. It's so cute.”
“Corruption kink to the max,” Hongjokng chuckled.
“Do you like it when we do this?” San asked you, languidly rocking his hips to yours. “Do you like us treating you like a little cock sleeve?”
“Yes,” you gasped, holding onto his shoulders. The slight stretch made you see stars. “Yes, I do. Just like when we did it the first time,” you said, head sinking to the pillow behind you as he rolled his rips. “When you all fucked me as long as you wanted…”
“You want us to do that again, Kitten?” asked Seonghwa.
“Please…” A whimper came through when San shoved himself particularly deep, holding onto his forearm as he did it.
“How's her hole today?” asked Hongjoong, eyes heavy with lust and arousal.
“Tight,” San said, starting to go faster, “And warm. I could fuck this forever.”
“Look how easy she takes it,” Seonghwa moaned. “Even after all this time, her holes are perfect.”
“You mean ‘our holes’,” Hongjoong said. “Because this,” he knelt beside you, still stroking with one hand while shoving fingers into your mouth, “And that belongs to us. I don't care if you don't wear a collar anymore. We still own your slutty holes,” he groaned when you sucked his fingers, letting him push them further.
“That's right,” Seonghwa said, reaching over to your swollen clit. “This pussy is ours. We get to fuck it whenever we want.”
“Not like she says no,” San said, grunting as he kept his strokes hard and deep. “She loves dick too much to not pass it up. Look at her right now,” he made a few quick pumps to hear you moan around Hongjoong’s fingers. “She pratically begged me to fuck her.”
“Because she's a whore,” said Seonghwa. He gave your clit a few sharp smacks before rubbing it again, “You can take the whore out of the brothel, but you can't take the brothel out of the whore. Isn't that right, Kitten? Are you a filthy whore?”
“Mmhmph,” you nodded.
They all laughed, jeering at your answer. When your moans grew louder, they taunted you further. The moment you clenched around San, he moved faster straight into the knot driving you wild.
“Oh, she's gonna cum,” he announced, “I can feel that hole getting tighter.”
“Is that true, slut?” Hongjoong asked you, removing his fingers to slather around your lips. “Are you going to cum?”
“Yes! Yes, oh my god, yes!”
“Then go ahead,” he said.
“Go on,” gibed Seonghwa, spitting on your sex, “Cum.”
They continued goding you until you finally came. Hard hitting, all the muscles in your body stiffened. San came right after, pumping into you wildly as his orgasm took over. The feeling of his squirting inside prolonged your climax. The hands and cock keeping you going played with the sensitivity causing you to move away.
“No, no, no,” said Seonghwa, “You're gonna take that no matter how sensitive it gets.”
“That’s right,” said San, teasing you with his wet tip, “You stay there.”
“Rock, paper, scissors for next turn?” Hongjoong suggested to Seonghwa once San finished.
“Sure. Best two out of three.”
You watched through heavy eyes as they played the game. San, meanwhile, continued pushing his cum back into you. You could do this forever in this carriage.
“Yes!” Hongjoong cheered when he won the third round. “Turn her around. I'm going to fuck her like the bitch she is, he said, fixing his pants at his thighs as San and him switched positions. Seonghwa and San flipped you over, giving the eldest a space in front of you.
“Whores always like having more than one cock at a time,” he said, forcing your head into his lap. His length went all the way to the back of your throat, and you swore you might come again even sooner. “Don’t you dare stop sucking,” he warned, slapping your ass harshly. “Don't miss a fucking beat. I want that mouth on me the entire time. You got that, bitch?”
You nodded, and your obedience amused them. He held onto your hair while Hongjoong shoved himself inside. All the pent up arousal from earlier unleashed itself in his hips. Hands grabbing your ass, Hongjoong did not take the gradual pace like San. You felt every push from entry to end just like Seonghwa did. The feeling of them both abusing you had you shaking in their grasp. No matter how much saliva and precum leaked from your mouth, you did not withdraw. Even when Hongjoong started hitting a different angle, making you shudder and moan around him, you didn't stop. Your pussy tightened when Seonghwa held your head against his groin for several seconds, laughing at your choking, before lifting you to the head where you drew a few breaths.
“You fucking love that,” Seonghwa groaned, pushing you back down. “I'm glad because I like shoving my dick down pretty throats like yours.”
“And I love fucking their pussies right after,” Hongjoong breathed, a whimper coming right after. “Oh fuck, I'm going to fucking cum. Stay right there.”
You came right as he withdrew, bursting with nothing inside you to coat. Hot streams fell onto your lower back and ass cheeks, leaking down between them where Hongjoong rolled it again. Neither brother gave you time to breathe as Seonghwa pulled you onto his lap.
“Fuck me,” he ordered, smacking your ass, “I'm not pushing into you. You're doing the work, not me.”
You held onto the back of the seat, pulling at the decorative drapes, as you started bouncing on him. “Don't stop,” he said, watching you ride him, “If you stop, I swear…”
Even with the burning sensation in your thighs, causing you to shake and tremble, you didn't stop. Whenever he sensed you slowing down, he'd slap your ass to keep you going. But, the strain began weighing you down. You tried pushing yourself by your legs instead, though this position made that hard to do. Eventually, you made the mistake of stopping to catch your breath and ease your aching thighs.
“Did I say you could stop?” asked Seonghwa harshly. “Huh?” a light tap to your face excites you, “Why did you stop?”
“It….It hurts.”
“Do I look like I care?” he grunted, smacking your ass even harder, sending more pleasure through your body. “Do I?”
“No, sir,” you whimpered.
“I have to do everything around here,” he lifted you up to put you on your back again. “What's the point in a whore if she doesn't fuck the way I like?”
Raising your legs over your head, Seonghwa dove right back into you. He wasn't the gentle dominant partner you were used to. Something primal came over him as he pounded you into the seat. It delighted and aroused you.
“Master,” you said, surprised by his roughness, “You're being so rough with me.”
“You're a whore,” he gritted, “Why should I care about being gentle?” Yet, for the briefest moment he stopped, “Am I going too hard? I'm not hurting you too much?”
“I love it,” you assured him, pushing hair from his face, “So much.”
“Of course, you do.”
He kept the same speed until he had you squirting around him. Seeing the squirt come out of you caused Seonghwa’s own orgasm. He withdrew the second he reached the edge, and began jerking himself over you. He pinched your nose to force your mouth open, and made you take the cum shooting from his tip. His load splattered your chin and mouth, droplets falling on your outstretched tongue until he finished completely.
“How was that?” he asked, fingers pushing hair away from your face.
“So good,” you smiled, cleaning the dick with your tongue. “I can't get enough.”
“You can have more when we get home, baby,” Hongjoong insisted, wiping cum from your chin to slide into your mouth. “As much as you want.”
“Really?”
“Of course,” he said, kissing you softly. “We'll even do it in my room so we can play with all your favorite toys too.”
“I personally love watching you cum all over toys,” said San. “That way you're already nice and wet when I fuck you.”
“I just like watching you cry when I overstimulate you,” shrugged Hongjoong.
You all laughed right as the carriage stopped right in front of the house. You knew you wouldn't be sleeping tonight and you didn't mind at all.
***
A/N: awww see? everything worked out in the end. I'm not sure when I'll be posting another one of these, but I will be posting for this one still lol Thanks so much for reading, and please don't forget to reblog and like <3
word count - 2.6k
pairings - gamecharacters!ateez ot8 x fem!reader (ft. txt)
genre - fantasy au, dark romance au, obsessive/yandere elements.
chapter warnings - some violence scenes
author's notes - I'M BACK! Can we make this a monthly update? Yes or Yes?
thank you @sousydive for beta reading! thank you @ja3hwa for helping me, i love you!!
network: @newworldnet
back to masterlist?
"I don't want to be friends with Kim Hongjoong."
Hongjoong's smile faded, splintering like a crack spreading across a porcelain mask. However, he quickly recovered, his eyes shining with tears as the table fell silent.
"Y/n-ah..." Yeonjun started awkwardly, unsure how to salvage the situation. Your father cleared his throat, signaling for the servants to serve the dishes. The silence was soon broken as the dining table came to life with the sound of light, animated chatter.
For some reason, the adults did not want to get involved in this matter. Unbeknownst to you, your three brothers exchanged worried glances, shifting their eyes from you to Hongjoong. You ignored their looks, focusing solely on the food in front of you.
If falling in love with Hongjoong is the reason why Eternity became a broken kingdom, that just gives you more reason to avoid him. Now that you are 'Choi Y/n', there is no way you are going to let the fall of Eternity happen. The characters you see in the game are living and breathing, and even though you've only interacted with your older brothers for a short while, it feels as if you've known them your entire life. How could you still let the same plot from the game unfold?
But why can't you remember who killed Yeonjun?
A small voice at the back of your head nags ominously, whispering that something is wrong, that you have forgotten something very, very important. But what is it? What have you forgotten?
The rest of the dinner went by in a blur. When your plate was clean, you wiped your mouth neatly with the napkin Yeonjun had fetched for you earlier. You got off your seat and turned to your parents.
“Thank you for the dinner,” you started, ignoring the piercing gaze of Hongjoong. “I shall excuse myself.”
“Alright,” your father replied, his voice warm yet slightly concerned. Your mother gave a small nod, her eyes filled with unspoken questions. You bowed to the Queen of Mist, who inclined her head to you, and gave a quick bow to Hongjoong.
You felt Hongjoong's gaze follow you as you left the dining room. You walked down the hallway alone, each step echoing in the quiet halls. As you reached your room, you dismissed the servants and closed the door behind you before you leaned against it, taking a deep breath.
You’re scared.
Hongjoong is a good actor. But his crocodile tears did not fool you, not when you knew the plot of Utopia. If you had not known what kind of person he is, you would have fallen into his web of deceits.
Get a grip on yourself, Y/n-ah.
Seonghwa knew that his prince was not in a good mood.
He stood behind Hongjoong, watching the prince roll a brooch between his fingers. Hongjoong’s expression was hidden in the darkness of the flickering candle, but Seonghwa knew he was thinking.
He couldn’t help but wonder why Hongjoong was in such a bad mood. Did something happen at the dinner with the Chois? Seonghwa thought of the dinners he had attended with Hongjoong back at Mist. Anger crept into his thoughts as a strange black mist gathered at the tips of his fingers. Was his prince ridiculed? Did they insult his highness?
“Hwa.” Seonghwa cleared his thoughts, his attention immediately shifting to his prince. Hongjoong was looking up at him with a lost expression on his face. “What do you know about the Star of Eternity?”
Seonghwa’s fingers curled into a fist. Was the Princess of Eternity the reason for Hongjoong’s mood? He quickly skimmed through his memory, trying to recall what he had heard about the Princess before.
“There wasn’t much news about her, except that the Chois are very protective of her,” Seonghwa replied carefully. Hongjoong looked at the brooch in his hand, a troubled expression on his face.
“Protective?” he repeated, his voice tinged with a manic edge. Suddenly, a crazed smile twisted his lips. Hongjoong laughed loudly, slamming the brooch into the couch. “No, no, no… She saw right through me, Seonghwa-ah…” His laughter turned into unsettling giggles as he spun around to face Seonghwa. His eyes were wild with excitement as he kneeled on the couch, gripping the attendant’s arm with a vice-like hold. “Isn’t it exciting, Hwa? Someone who saw through me… Even Mother fell for my innocent facade…”
“Your highness…” Seonghwa began, his eyes filled with a mix of intrigue and worry.
“Such an interesting person, the Star of Eternity…” Hongjoong muttered, his tone a disturbing mix of fascination and obsession. Seonghwa bowed his head slightly. “Do you know how she looked at me, Hwa? She didn’t trust me, not one bit!” Hongjoong sighed dreamily, loosening his hold on Seonghwa. “She’s not as easy as we thought, Hwa, no…”
“Do you want to get rid of her then, your highness?” Seonghwa asked, treading carefully.
Hongjoong’s smile vanished, replaced by an eerie stillness. His eyes flickered with a dangerous light as he considered Seonghwa’s words. “Get rid of the Star?” he repeated slowly, leaning towards Seonghwa. The older boy immediately let his knee fall to the ground, bowing his head. “My apologies, your highness-”
The attendant held his breath, bracing for the blow. True enough, a force threw him up in the air and sent him flying backwards into the wall while something sharp grazed his cheeks. Seonghwa let out a groan as he wiped the corner of his bleeding lips, picking himself up. Hongjoong looked at him from the couch, his eyes cold and unfeeling.
“Hwa.” Hongjoong called. Seonghwa crawled onto his knees, hearing the appending thunderstorm in Hongjoong’s seemingly calm voice. “Do you know why I left Wooyoung back in Mist?”
Of course Seonghwa knew why. Wooyoung is Hongjoong’s younger half-brother, a result of the drunken King of Mist, who had forced the Queen’s maid into serving him whilst the Queen had just given birth to Hongjoong. The maid, who is loyal to his mother, had begged for the Queen’s forgiveness, and died shortly after giving birth to Wooyoung.
The other royalties looked down on Wooyoung because of his birthing, but the young prince paid them no attention. In fact, Seonghwa thinks that that brat does not see himself as a prince at all. He was always out of the castle, creating havoc and pranks on the other prince and princess.
But at the same time, that troublemaker is loyal to Hongjoong. He has no intentions of the throne, and sees Hongjoong as his only master, just like Seonghwa.
“Wooyoung is a good boy, but he likes to question my decisions.” Hongjoong answered his own question, picking up the brooch he was previously playing with. “But Hwa, you know better than to do that, don’t you?”
Seonghwa’s breath hitched. “Yes, your highness.” He answered.
“Good. Don’t let Mother see you in this state, Hwa.”
You frowned at the boy in front of you. Hongjoong stood before you, looking as innocent as a young foal. “Greetings to the Star of Eternity, may peace be ever in your favour.”
“Greetings to the Prince, may peace be ever in your favour,” you replied, setting down your cup of tea. After transmigrating into Y/n’s body, you had retained her memories and most of her behaviours. Y/n would often have a tea session by herself in the Royal Garden of the Eternity Palace, sometimes joined by her brothers if they had the time. However, you had only just started drinking your first cup of tea when Hongjoong barged into the garden with another tall teenager behind him.
At first, you paid no attention to him. The only thought in your mind was to keep Hongjoong as far away from you as possible. “What has brought the Prince into my garden?” you questioned coldly, your eyes conveying your dislike. Hongjoong looked a little hurt, his golden eyes staring sadly at you as though you had done something tragically wrong to him.
“Would you let me join you, your highness?” Hongjoong asked, with a hint of cautiousness in his voice. You opened your mouth to refute, but accidentally met the gaze of that boy behind him.
Long black hair, green eyes. A strong jawline, sharp cheekbones, and full, plump lips. This was Park Seonghwa, Hongjoong’s loyal attendant.
Park Seonghwa was one of the more popular characters in Utopia. He was a commoner on the streets who had pledged his loyalty to Hongjoong after being saved by him from an illegal magician’s tower. As an experiment, Seonghwa was different from ordinary men, and his elemental powers included the mysterious mist magic.
There wasn’t much detailed description of his display of power that you could remember, but one thing was certain: Seonghwa was not what he seemed to be.
In Jiwon’s route, Seonghwa was an elegant man who could make her blush with the simplest gestures. His charm was undeniable, and he expressed his affection through numerous courting gifts. From delicate roses and precious stones to exquisite clothes and even rare animals, Seonghwa spared no expense in showing his devotion.
One scene stood out vividly in your memory. Seonghwa had presented Jiwon with a precious tiara crafted from the finest amethyst after Mist had conquered Eternity. The tiara was breathtaking, its deep purple stone shimmering with a brilliance that captivated everyone who saw it.
But there was more to the amethyst than its beauty. That stone on the tiara was once part of the crown your father wore. It was the one precious stone that symbolised the enduring power and legacy of your family. Seeing it on the tiara was a stark reminder of the fall of Eternity and the painful loss of your kingdom.
In Y/n’s route, however, Seonghwa is no more than a cruel lapdog of Hongjoong. No matter how many times you have tried to court him, he has not once trusted you. Your brows furrowed at the thought of the amount of currencies you have spent to make choices for Seonghwa’s affection level to just go past fifty percent.
Stupid currency, what a scam.
“Your highness?” Hongjoong called out, noticing that your attention had swayed from him. His voice, tinged with irritation, cut through your thoughts. He frowned, following your gaze. His jaw tightened when he realised you were staring at Seonghwa, and that his attendant was the one who had distracted you from him.
Hongjoong’s eyes darkened with a mix of annoyance and jealousy. The prince moved swiftly in front of Seonghwa, blocking him from your view. “Your highness,” he repeated, his voice more insistent, drawing your gaze back to him. “May I join you for a cup of tea?”
You blinked, pulling your thoughts away from Seonghwa and back to the prince in front of you. Most of Hongjoong’s flaming red hair was tucked away into the black beret he was wearing, decorated with rubies. His golden eyes peered out at you from under his fringe, and you shook your head, steeling yourself against his intense gaze.
“You’re not welcomed here, Prince of Mist.” You said slowly, each word deliberate and firm. “As I said before, I don’t want to be friends with you, so do not come close to me.”
A sudden chill crept up your spine after you have said those words. You hear one of your maids gasp at your boldness, but you didn’t care. Behind Hongjoong, Seonghwa could feel his anger rising. How can anyone treat his prince like this? He thought, biting the inside of his cheeks while keeping his head low. His fingers twitched as a small cloud of dark mist began to form around it.
No, he couldn’t take this lying down.
But before he could do anything, Hongjoong took a step forward. You straightened your back, your eyes wide with alertness. “May I have a word with you in private, your highness?” Hongjoong asked, his silky voice laced with forced politeness. “Just this once.”
You gripped the hem of your skirt, your gaze shifting from Hongjoong to Seonghwa. After a moment's hesitation, you nodded. “Leave us,” you commanded, and your maids bowed respectfully to Hongjoong before quietly exiting the garden. Hongjoong was only thirteen years old; what danger could he pose? Besides, you recalled that his powers hadn't developed until he was fifteen. Seonghwa gave Hongjoong a long look, before bowing and leaving as well.
There was a moment of silence when the both of you were finally alone. Hongjoong advanced forwards and you tensed up, gripping the arms of your chair tightly. “Do not come closer, Prince of Mist.” You warned, as Hongjoong paused, his expression unreadable.
"I have a question, your highness," he began, his voice steady but with an underlying chill that seemed to lower the temperature around you. "As far as I am aware, yesterday was our first meeting, correct?" Hongjoong's long fingers toyed with a brooch on his collar. "I do not recall having done anything to warrant your dislike, your highness."
"I simply do not like you, Prince of Mist," you said coldly. For a moment, you thought Hongjoong was about to cry. Pools of liquid gathered in his eyes as he stared at you, but the emotion within them told a different story.
He’s not sad, you realised.
And then Hongjoong started to laugh. Tears of amusement rolled down his eyes as he grip the back of another chair for support, his laughter reverberating around the garden. You frowned, not understanding which part of the conversation was funny.
But you sensed something was amiss. Hongjoong breathed heavily, wiping the tears from his face. "You amuse me, my Star," he sighed, his intense gaze sending goosebumps along your skin. "You're the first, my Star."
The first person to see through him, the first person to not fall for his mask, and the first person to so blatantly show dislike towards him. Hongjoong licked his lips, and without warning, he pounced on you, leaning dangerously close. Your mouth opened in a silent scream as Hongjoong placed his hands on either side of you, trapping you in the small space of the chair.
“Let’s get engaged, my Star.” His words sent your eyes widening, shocking you. The Prince of Mist slid down towards the floor, kneeling in front of you. His head laid on your lap, his eyes boring into yours. “Our mothers would be elated at this news, no?”
At the mention of your mother, you finally found your strength back. You kicked Hongjoong off you, standing up so fast that the chair was knocked over. Hongjoong fell backwards onto the floor, his snake-like eyes capturing your attempt to escape from him.
“If you come close to me, Kim Hongjoong,” your voice was shaking as you pulled a long hairpin out from your long hair, causing it to fall over your shoulders. Pointing the sharp end of the hairpin at Hongjoong, you tried to control the trembles on your arm. “I’ll stab you with this pin. Have I made myself clear?”
Your chest rises and falls quickly as you watch Hongjoong pick himself up, patting off the dust on his clothes. “As you wish, my Star.” He answered, a smirk playing on his lips. You were aware of the possessiveness in his voice, gripping your hairpin tighter. “But this isn’t over yet, my Star.”
When Hongjoong left, your legs finally gave way and you collapsed in relief. When the maids entered, they were surprised to find you sitting on the ground with your hair untied. As they helped you to your feet, you turned to them with a cold expression. 'Not a word to my brothers,' you commanded. 'If my brothers hear anything about the Prince of Mist's meeting with me, be prepared to face the consequences.”
“Yes, your highness.”
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