[marisatomay]

no more guilty pleasures we enjoy things because we like them

[cinemapops-deactivated20220531]

its just me and some very specific Taylor Swift lyrics against the world actually

[aubrey-plaza]

[gelatins]

idk how you guys can send anon hate, like i can’t even send a nice anon without being scared that i didn’t hit anon and now they know

[severusdefender]

severus in the slytherin common room after calling an assembly: ok level with me, which one of you fucks opened the chamber of secrets? i promise i won’t get mad.

[death-totheauthor]

*Slytherins remain silent*

[its-hp-bitch]

[gayvampiretown]

One day Edward gets a call from Jacob and he’s like “DUDE TURN ON GHOST ADVENTURES RIGHT NOW THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU” and they’re in an old “haunted” Chicago hospital and Zak Bagans says “one of the victims of the Spanish influenza was a seventeen year old boy named Edward who disappeared with no trace one day. Will we come into contact with his spirit tonight?” And Edward of course has to sit down and watch the whole thing and every time they hear anything they’re like “EDWARD? IS THAT YOU?” And Edward just yells at the screen “YEAH, MAYBE”

The family eventually gets a whiteboard to keep track of how many times they’ve each been featured on a ghost hunting show. Alice is in the lead.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

The Twilight Renaissance is not what I expected in 2019 but you know what? Fine.

[fieryartemispublications]

You know the amount of shit that people come up with on this site about Twilight just makes me realize how robbed we were of its potential.

Think of it. Instead of Bella and Edward’s shitty romance, we could’ve had a story about the new girl in town realizing that her new neighbors being vampires is the least weird thing about them.

[antique-scarecrow]

i cannot believe that it’s 2019 and i’m actively seeking out twilight headcaons

[bimboid]

[mouchefska]

[carldangerous]

[krinkshaming-deactivated2017021]

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I have a feeling this will become iconic in due time.  

[moonblossom]

I’ve watched this for like a dozen loops and I still crack up every time

[cersei-the-truth-bombardier]

[Singing] T-Birds: Well-a, well-a, well-a– Tell me more, tell me more, did'ya get very far? Pink Ladies: Tell me more, tell me more– Jules (in time, astonishingly): Does he look like a bitch?

[cashiers-czech-hunter]

I hope that this is the last remaining piece of media that aliens find after we destroy our planet.

[yocalio]

“female-presenting nipples”

[weedsandwildflowers23]

Only reblogging because that's Chris Evans 😂

[prideprejudce]

guys i am in TEARS

[localstarboy]

Chrissy Teigen plays entirely too much 😭

[valdomarx]

Avengers: Infinity War aka The Bachelor: Tony Stark Edition

[valdomarx]

By popular request, meet the other contestants:

[valdomarx]

A late contender appears:

And introducing a very special guest judge:

[phasered]

she straight up asked him if he’s the baby

[roachpatrol]

ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like 'what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a guy.’ and Neville was like 'we should fuckin’ get him like, like… let’s have a funeral. A huge fucking fuck-off sized funeral with like, lilies, and, a marble coffin, and a big statue, an’ crying women, an’ all that shit’ and Harry got whiskey up his nose laughing so hard and he falls off his stool and just wheezes 'lillies’

and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like 'for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing 'oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution

anyway like eighteen years later Harry names his kid after Severus and sends an owl off to Neville like 'your move, mate’ and Nevill pauses in the middle of polishing the giant marble statue of Snape tenderly cuddling an armfull of adoring woodland creatures that dominates like 2/3 of his office to cuss a lot and pour himself another drink

[throwbackblr]

[throwbackblr]

YOU NEARLY KILLED ALL THOSE PEOPLE FOR A REPTAR ON ICE TICKET 😂

[cleothegoldfish]

Priorities. 

[tvngames-deactivated20210131]

I can’t tell if Tommy is either a horrible person or Angelica is a horrible cop. XD

[fuckboyzuko]

McDonald’s has their 20 piece chicken nuggets on the 2 for $3 menu right now. You’re supposed to mix and match items, but there’s nothing stopping you from getting 2 orders of them for $3. Which means, for the low, low price of $9.63, I just got 120 chicken nuggets. The lady asked me three times if I was sure I wanted that many, and then when I rolled up to the window, she looked in my backseat like she expected to see four kids there, but it was just me. I took my 120 chicken nuggets home and ate them all, and I gotta say, this is what life is all about.

[pyropian]

reason #628293 i love my mom:

when we were wee little elementary school kids my sisters and i loved the tamagotchi games. but the tamagotchi required constant attention right? and we couldn’t play them during school so my mom would bring it to work with her and she’d do all of her accounting/banking shit while also feeding 2 tamagatchi pets. this small serious asian lady playing tamagotchi for her daughters. i love her so much

[pyropian]

im glad people enjoy this post