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One of the “trademark” features of an Asian are monolids. This feature is what gives Asians a slanted eye look, which unfortunately is often mocked.

The mocking and the dominance of white beauty has led many Asians to turn to eyelid surgery.

Risks of Eyelid Surgery include:

Swelling and bruising of the eyelid

Bleeding from the incision lines

Dryness to the eyes

Sensitivity to sun or other bright light

Difficulty closing your eyes

Ectropion, an outward rolling of the eyelid

Lid lag, a pulling down of the lower eyelid may occur and is often temporary

Temporary or even permanent change in vision, and very rare chance of blindness

Changes in skin sensation

Pain, which may persist

Poor wound healing

Possible need for revision surgery

Unfavorable scarring

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How To Minimize Asian Features

Are you sick of being mocked for how Asian you look? Are you tired of the slanted eye jokes and comments about your “exotic” features?

Well, have no fear, we have a tutorial to help you look more “western” and normal!

Step 1: Let’s Fix Those Eyes!

Invest in getting eyelid surgery to fix your monolids. If you can not afford surgery, you can still buy eyelid tape or glue!

(It is only fair that we warn you of the possibility of accidentally ripping your eyelid while using eyelid tape. Please use with caution.)

Step 2: Hide that Round Face!

Many Asians have distinctive round faces that make them stick out from a western crowd of sharp and oval faces. Our best advice is to use your hair to hide and shape your face!

Here are our recommended hair styles:

Step 3: Step Away From Traditional Hair Styles

An absolute feature of every asian is straight black hair. Make people question your ethnicity even more by curling or dying your hair.

Step 4: Muscle Up!

One of the common stereotypes of Asians are how weak and submissive they are. If you bulk up, everyone around you will see you as strong and powerful— nothing at all like an Asian at all!

Step 5: Get a Tan or get Pale!

East Asians are often noted for their pale skin while South East Asians are often noted for their tan skin. Let’s mix it up! If you are an East Asian, consider getting tanner! If you are South East Asian, then it’s time to get paler— your dark skin signifies your poor field working class, so you’ll want to get paler anyways.

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As a South East Asian American, one of the strangest things I’ve had to deal with is balancing myself between being “white” and being “asian”. I was born in America and was not raised within a large Laos/Cambodian community. Essentially, I was too whitewashed to hang out with the Asians who grew up with a strong Asian background. I barely know my own home languages. My lack of Asian culture as well as my comfort in American culture has led many to perceive me as a “non-asian”.

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