Untitled

[whatkindofdogisthat]

Concept: food containers that automatically give you a list of ingredients and nutrition facts for whatever you put in them

[iguanamouth]

alien encounter

[iguanamouth]

[boxheadpaint]

oh i have some great news, they dont sound like that

thats an american bittern. the one in the video is a eurasian / great bittern.

and they sound like This

[mysillycomics]

[iguanamouth]

alien encounter

[iguanamouth]

[whatkindofdogisthat]

Oh, to be a smol pointy bird in the big pointy world

[whatkindofdogisthat]

One time I was SUPER mad at my boyfriend but we were in public with a group of friends

and he accidentally walked too close behind me and stepped on the back of my shoe

and I thought he did it on purpose just to fuck with me

so I drew myself up to my full 105 pound, 5 foot two-and-seven-eighths inch frame

and I turned around

and looked straight up into that six foot tall man's face

and very quietly I snarled

"I will fucking DECK you."

In our entire six and a half years together, I have never seen such fear in his eyes.

It's one of the very few things that he will just not let me forget about

[trashzy-deactivated20211214]

Yellow Monitor

[whatkindofdogisthat]

My boss heard that I was leaving so she came to "fire" me before I could go. Juuust when I thought I'd figured out what a toxic working environment I was in, man, she put that cherry right on top. Her commitment to pettiness is honestly just *chef's kiss*

[whatkindofdogisthat]

Having to eat food to survive is honestly such a buzzkill

[whatkindofdogisthat]

After having tried it for a while, I think I can conclusively assert that the responsibilities of adulthood are just not for me, and I now plan to regress a couple of decades. Now who's going to call and schedule my gynecologist appointment for me?

[846782364278]

[evilvillain123456789]

TO-DO LIST:

-bite the hand that feeds me

-bite off more than I can chew

-let the bed bugs bite

[whatkindofdogisthat]

TW - suicide Thinking about ways to kill myself while I'm driving, and I thought, "I could just take off my seatbelt and drive into a ravine" but then I remembered I was driving my boyfriend's car. He fucking loves this car. 😒

[whatkindofdogisthat]

Today my boyfriend threw away his pink and rainbow unicorn face mask because he doesn't feel safe wearing it in our little hick town anymore, and it broke my heart a little. He was so stoked about that dumb mask.

[whatkindofdogisthat]

Me every night doing my skincare routine: Mmmmmmyesssss all of this moisturizer will definitely make up for all the water I don't drink

[whatkindofdogisthat]

Sometimes, as an adult, what you really need is for someone to see that you're struggling and come tenderly roll up your sleeves for you like when you were a kid

[whatkindofdogisthat]

There are two types of people. There's type 1:

"omg I have to drink SO MUCH water, like I'm just thirsty ALL THE TIME. I go through like nine hydroflasks a day when I'm not working out. I always have a huge glass of water by my bed because of ALL THE WATER that I drink at ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT. There's just NOTHING more REFRESHING. Haha yeah, my skin is like, perfect because of all the water I drink. Omg guys have I told you how amazing wa--"

And then... There's type 2.

"Fuckin... Ew. Water? That's gross. Water is for the weak. I took a drink of that like three weeks ago by mistake and I can still taste it. I'm pretty sure my veins are filled with sugary sludge. Did you put ice in my drink?? If I wanted my drink to be watery I'd just go out back and drink from the creek. Every time I have a headache someone asks me how much water I've had today. You know full fucking well how much water I've had today, Linda. I came out here to have a good time and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now. I don't need your attitude. What's in my bottle? Either vodka or chocolate milk. Depends on the day. You want a swig? No not you, Linda"

[whatkindofdogisthat]