This is not a place of honor.

Literally everyone dni. I feel very tired and old and shleepy.

[whatwouldmeursaultdo]

Gracious greetings, friends (oh god I hope not), passersby, and fellow ne'erdowells,

It has come to my attention that an announcement is in order.

I came to this lawless land called Tumblr hailing from an equally lawless land which shall not be named. I spent my time there eking out what many would consider a miserable existence, yet for me it was steeped in peace and humility. I wish the same here. To facilitate my thoughts in this ascetic shotgun shack Tumblr necessitates I call a blog, therefore, I have but one request-

NO FOLLOWING THIS BLOG.

VIOLATORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Scrape this drab tupperware of half-eaten, cold leftovers for all the content you wish to consume, or maybe pass through towards greener pastures. I've no qualms with that. Asks will simply be ignored, as will reblogs and other notes. There's no shame in being up to no good past curfew, after all.

But know this. I scrawl these pale (or i guess maybe ebony if you use dark mode???) walls in blood. Please don't ask whose it is, and please don't frame it in your own home, for God's sake. The big man upstairs probably wants to be brought into this matter even less than I do. So yeah, please do not follow this account. With the big red button as my weapon and the caffe-in-my body as divine providence, I will outlast this long night.

I suppose there are two paths to take from here. You can either stare resolutely down the barrel of my Dollar General squit gun and perform the sicknastiest heel turn this world has ever seen. Or you let the morbid curiosity grip you by the [[funny body part]] and see where it drags you. Probably nowhere fun for either of us. But at least we're in this together.

I'll probably swing by once every couple years to take out the trash and whatnot. If you're lucky, your just desserts will arrive expediently. Otherwise, your time in this hell site (yep, two (2) words) may prove to be almost as unhinged as this very post, and I'll bear witness to whichever Horrors [TM] yinz cook up when I log in.

Well, that's it. Off you go. Otherwise, don't say I didn't warn anybody. Now, thank ye kindly much. I've got some work to do, and the witching hour waits for no aspiring femboy.

[feelingdiskinserted11]

[ex0skeletal-undead]

longshot question but you share a lot of nice and surreal art so maybe you know; there was this painting i saw online recently of a herd of sauropods crossing the American southwest desert and the setting sun was hitting their necks in such a pretty way, but of course i can't find it now. does that sound familiar? not even sure if your blog shared it but i figured i'd ask

This is the one that comes to mind, is that it?

Mors Vincit Omnia

The Spectral Titans, by Anthony Machuca

[sailorcuba]

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

[arborealgargoyle]

like, that is a very unspecific response I still have no idea what you want but I applaud how adorably you meowed all the same, well done

[arborealgargoyle]

This post led me to reminisce on the nature of cat’s meowing, and I have a funny story

I befriended a feral cat once who had spent her life in the forest without human interaction. I was worried about her because she had a paw damaged from an old injury and was emaciated but obviously nursing kittens that were hidden away somewhere. It took me weeks of putting out food and sitting across the yard every evening for her to trust me even a little and when she decided we were friends and she expected dinner every night she started coming to my door and trying to call for me in the evening, but she didn’t meow. Why would she? Cats only meow naturally as kittens when their vocal chords/ears aren’t fully developed, adult cats communicate with vocalizations that aren’t audible to humans. She probably tried making noises I couldn’t hear to call me but ended up sticking to the one I always responded to- a horrible yowling growl that she had made at me when we first encountered each other in the forest. Except once we were friends she would make this noise while purring and rubbing affectionately against a nearby tree or the porch railing (because she didn’t want to touch me yet). This understandably freaked my family members out but I was touched that she had taken the time to find a way to basically yell FUCK OFF in an affectionate way.

Fast forward to when she finally trusts me enough to bring her hidden kittens out of the forest to me, long story short I gained their trust and put them in this big pen, that I had previously used to keep chickens in, so they’d be safe and to keep her from having another litter. Except she was already secretly pregnant again! (Fix your pets, guys, they make SO many babies) and ended up having her new babies in this pen. I kept my distance, sitting on the outside once they were born until she seemed comfortable enough to let me come inside. The kittens were a bit wild, hissing viscously at me as soon as they opened their eyes, but they warmed up to me. There were four of them and soon they all wanted to be the center of attention during the twice daily play sessions. I’d be playing with one and another would meow insistently behind me and I’d immediately answer them and give them love, teaching them that humans could be friends that answer their needs- making them adoptable once they were weaned. Mama cat (Artie) would just watch me play with them, and I guess she was doing some thinking because one day when they were about a month old I was playing with them and one meowed behind me. I was confused because I hadn’t realized there was a kitten behind me and when I turned, there wasn’t. The only cat there was Artie looking at me really intensely. I turned back around to the kittens and I heard the meow again, I turned back to Artie and responded in the way I always did with the kittens “yes baby?” And she meowed again in an exact imitation of her kittens! After that she would.not.shut.up. It was like she had cracked some kind of code, meowing for attention and snacks and just to say hi. Her two older kittens, the ones she’d had in the forest, had never meowed at me either but started to once they saw how I responded to their mom. and I find it endlessly fascinating because before that it had never occurred to me that cats only meow at humans because they were taught by other cats to keep meowing past kittenhood because that’s the best way to get a human’s attention.

Imagine befriending some weird giant with the wrong number of legs that you met in the forest who seems nice enough but doesn’t seem to be able to hear you, until your friend explains that all they can understand is fuck off! And I’m a baby give me love!

[ribbed9]

You are eternal💫

[rackmount-official-my-ass]

just watched a vtuber do smash or pass through the mcmaster carr catalog and in the process learned that you can EDFA your way to space

[whatwouldmeursaultdo]

That sounds sick, was there a vod?

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

If yall wanna see what this mouth do and ur at FD hmuuuuuuuuuubhehrhrhehr :3333

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

faggotdelpgia

[whatwouldmeursaultdo]

indeed, princess. indeed.

[megparsec]

Baa baa backstreets, have you any boys

[chongoblog]

A heavy amount of culinary improv and realizing I had less than I did mid-cook has resulted in a brand new dish I’m calling Struggler’s Sludge: A “Rice” Dish

[chongoblog]

Isn’t it appetizing?

[chongoblog]

✨ 𝓡𝓔𝓒𝓘𝓟𝓔✨

-Marinate 3 whole chicken breasts in Dale’s Marinade

-Put them on da grill and grill them thangs

-Put about 3/4 cup rice in the rice cooker with the same amount of water

-microwave a bag of frozen sweet peas

-Once the chicken’s done grilling, slice those breasts up.

-realize how much chicken there is

-i could save some of this chicken for later

-nah. We’re already here. We ball

-rice is done. Put it in a skillet with soy sauce

-put the peas in the skillet

-realize how little rice there is

-No problem I’ll just cook more rice!

-We have about….half a cup?…left in the bag?

-uh oh

-into the rice cooker we go

-fuck it needs more. what else….mushrooms!! Yes!!!

-it needs more flavor, we could do spices like some pepper and garlic salt and cumin it’ll be great

-cumin in this? fuck it. We ball.

-Just lean into it.

-dump 2 of the 3 sliced chicken breasts into the rice to get a feeler for the proportions so far

-Decide we’re gonna make cheesy rice. That would really work.

-go get whatever shredded cheese you have left (maybe 1/2 a cup (?) of mexican triple blend

-Well we can still make it creamy if we have some milk!

-We do not have any milk

-Put the meandering amount of rice left that you just cooked into the concoction along with the last of the chicken

-stir in a spoonful of butter on a low heat

-we ball

-serve

[siras13]

I normally never do this, but this is the best combo I've ever had in this game.

[laserwalnut]

RULE #1 Follow someone if they do something you like

RULE #2 Unfollow/block someone if they do something you dislike

RULE #3 Don't announce that you are utilizing RULE #2 when you are

[nongunktional]

ive never wanted to send a death threat over a game before

[nongunktional]

tautological wordle answer

[nongunktional]

[minovskyy]

posts that make you open wordle

[minovskyy]

[chryza]

Oh boy better go try today’s wordle

[chryza]

WHAT THE FUCK

[chryza]

[dark-miku]

what the fuck?

[whatwouldmeursaultdo]

oh so that's how you spell that

[aru]

Tumblr Code.

[geekishchic]

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[glasspaws]

First ever full rendered comm COMPLETED and I love how cutie it turned out

[mousidy]

wild that TMEs expect trans women to behave exactly how they expect men to in the bedroom because most of the trans women I know aren't even that interested in anything resembling sex, they want to play with knives and get hurt

[mousidy]

I'm gonna speculate here but I think a lot of trans women, on top of having sexualities very informed by our trauma, revel in kink in part because traditional modes of sex are not available to us. a lot of us don't want to top and many of us have reasons for not wanting to do anal. dysphoria often prevents us from anything below the waist altogether. of course we lean into things that hardly resemble "sex"

[cryptotheism]

I'm starting to understand richii mahjong so basically I'm fucked forever

[tanyao]