Amy

[theconcealedweapon]

[fedexrojas9173]

''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''

[virtualgirladvance]

Sweetie are you okay? You rebloged doesn't know what it's like to receive love 14 times today

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

There’s something so uniquely terrifying about memory issues. I feel like my self is slipping away from me.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Here’s the thing I feel like a lot of folks don’t get: I’m not trying to forget what you said. Honestly, I really tried not to. I can’t control what I do and don’t remember—forgetting things just happens. It’s annoying for you, I know, but for me it’s distressing as hell and when you make a big deal out of it rather than just reminding me you make me feel ashamed. I’ll remember that, at least.

It costs you nothing to be kind to people with memory problems. Please. It’s scary enough without people treating memory lapses as a personal failing.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Hey, reblog this version instead, please!

[kaijuerotica]

do u wanna see the gromit sweater i knitted last year

[kaijuerotica]

[helenvaughans]

[itsmistybitch-deactivated202605]

These posts are sisters

[lierdumoa]

[inbabylontheywept]

there is a stripper pole in my attic. i saw it in a dumpster one day, and i went, shit, this is exactly the kind of thing my wife would want. and i didnt really want it in the house, what with it being a used stripper pole lightly seasoned with dumpster juice, but i mentally decided that if she were to see it and ask for it, i would say she could have it, and then sure enough, later that evening, she went soooo baaaaaaaabs there's this thing by the dumpster and i want it but i get it if you don't want it in the house but i have to show it to you- and i went, no you dont, you can have the pole, and that was the most surprised i have ever made her look. even compared to the day when i proposed to her, which she was prepared enough that we both knew she would say yes, and she could also get her hair done up and have a cute outfit, but not so prepared that she was not fucking flabbergasted by the 12 empty decoy ringboxes i sprung on her. i handed her so many decoy ring boxes that day. still one of the funniest things i've ever done to her.

anyway we like pacing around together and ranting in the attic but sometimes instead of pacing one of us will just hang on the pole and spin, and the other person will watch on the beanbag, which makes for these really goofy conversations where the person on the bag will say something that gets the other persons goat, such as, hypothetically, that xylophones do not belong in rock music, and then the other person will go on a tirade about this, but they'll actually only be facing the Hot Take Speaker half of the time, what because of the pole, so the response will sound something like

I can't believe

you would even suggest such

a stupid opinion. You've

been to a Danny Elfman

concert! How can you

have heard Oingo Boingo

live and say with a straight face

that they alone do not justify

rock and roll xylophones

and then that person will continue until they get too dizzy, then they'll get off the pole, and by unspoken agreement, the person on the bag will get up and trade places with them to deliver their rebuttal while also spinning and it just creates this sort of crazy strip-court lawyers debating absolute nonsense for no reason kind of vibe that frankly just really does it for us.

i don't really have any marriage advice for this i guess its just a look at what being married can look like. i thought that being married would involve a lot more stuff like carving the turkey, or barbecuing, or watching the sunset, and if id known how much time it would involve arguing for xylphones in rock music while spinning upside down i might have prepared for it a little differently.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[hardrockerhippie]

At first i was like: why the hell is this on tumblr?! And then it suddenly made sense...

[ekjohnston]

This is incredible.

[cpericardium]

seems reasonable

[the-faultofdaedalus]

there’s so many myths about fathers getting prophecies that his children will kill him and it’s always the father trying to avoid this fate by exiling or trying to kill his children but. what about this.

it’s prophesied that your child will grow up and kill you. and you know what the oracle thinks you will do about this. you know by her smile that she knows it won’t work. but you go home and you look at your infant and you know you will not. you hold your infant and you know that you will never not love them. that you would never attempt harm upon them. even to save yourself. you hold your toddler’s hands as they learn to walk and your heart feels so big in your chest as they toddle towards you that you know you would never send them away.

your infant grows into a child and you love them and the prophecy of your murder hangs above your head and all you can think is that you hope you have taught your child well enough that your death will be kind.

your child grows stronger and you teach them how to weave and how to wield an axe. you fix their posture as they learn to shoot a bow. they grow strong and brave and kind and you know you could never ever harm them.

and the your child learns of the prophecy. they learn that they will kill you. that it is fate. and they look at you and see a man who held the and wiped their tears away and helped them back to their feet and was never ever anything angrier at them than they deserved. and they look at their hands and see red. and while you have accepted your fate as a dead man. your child has not yet grown to know that their parents will die. your child has not accepted their fate as a murderer.

and so they run. they leave at night and they go far far away and they never ever come back and it hurts them more than anything ever has but they are comforted by the fact that they won’t kill their father. that their hands are clean. that you are safe.

and you?

you die of a broken heart.

[curly-cottage-girl]

[hiamigoman]

[icarus-suraki]

Happy Easter.

[official-kircheis]

[lakemojave]

I've always been really confused about the world culture of Fallout, especially before the collapse.

Like it's my understanding that the timeline diverges from our own after WW2, with the United States entering a golden atomic age driven by relentless xenophobic and expansionist conquest, plunging the world into a fascistic death spiral that lead to the resource wars and nuclear armageddon. And to deliver that bleak premise with a satirical edge, it's canonical that American culture is, at least by the 2070s when the world ends, stuck in a sort of neo 50s obsession where the only music and art that's popular enough to survive the nukes is all stuff that originated more than a century beforehand.

Like I get that the criticism being made is that a culture obsessed with its own past is indicative of a bleak present crushed by imperialism and nationalism, but can you really expect me to believe that Fallout's American empire was so bad that culture and art and aesthetics were just. Frozen in time for more than 100 years? Addicted to their own past? That the American people were so embroiled in reactionary ideologies that they were incapable of moving forward and creating anything new?

Anyway did you hear they're rebooting Malcolm in the Middle this year? And the Mummy. And the Devil Wears Prada. And Masters of the Universe. And Meet the Parents. And a 5th toy story movie. And a moana remake.

Could mean nothing.

[dvdshrimp]

Came home to find my daughter acting precarious as fuck.

[morphdoll]

Fall

[dvdshrimp]

wtfffff

[depsidase]

[ilajue]

smoking that shit that makes you cry about the horrors of car-centric infrastructure

[ilajue]

hey yeah i get it but youre harshing the vibe rn nobody wants to hear about the irreversible damage that cars have done to North America and the whole world by proxy

[ilajue]

showing your girl pictures of nasty ugly parking garages at the function

[ilajue]

i misspelled hindrance real bad, guys

[ilajue]

this is not a joke or exaggeration but a cry for help btw I've been watching 3 hour youtube videos about concrete like I'm somebody's autistic dad

[ilajue]

pov i turn to you in between sets

[ilajue]

yeah no sorry I can't go out tonight I have to read the rest of the 2023 Ford corporate sustainability report no not for a class I'm just nosey

[ilajue]

no babe I thought it was hot that you got into and won a debate with my dad about the viability of high speed rail in north america

[ilajue]

listen I'm sorry that your dad went home, researched highspeed rail, and started the argument with you again when I wasn't there umm no I'm not going to apologize no I actually umm yeah I've been brushing up on my talking points sorry but bob doesn't stand a fucking chance he can meet me in the market place of ideas

[ilajue]

pov you are my captive audience

[isopost-headquarters]

how is this not astronomically popular

[glavilio]

so thank you to hungryroot for sponsoring this video as we deep dive into the obscure origin of a peasent-dish-turned-fast-food phenomenon and make the original honey busterd pickled sea fuck meal. this time on tasting history

[clockworkrobotic]

when i was a teenager i used to catch myself thinking "i'm really glad i'm alive right now because of all the cool personal technologies that exist" and when i did i'd think it through and reckon that well, its not like teenagers in the 70s and 80s knew they didnt have ipods or facebook or whatever. they were also happy with the tech they had. and i'd reason that in the future there would be more fun technologies that i dont know i'm missing out on right now and the future will be an even cooler time to exist

anyway i was dead fucking wrong about that last part. i hate personal technologies now. i miss having an ipod that doesnt advertise shit to me and i miss when my htc wildfire didnt harass me 45 times a day to install an ai assistant and then install it anyway when i say no and i miss when the internet wasnt 5 websites all of which i have to log into and i miss when i didnt need an app to talk to my landlord. sorry past me you were actually right about 2009