āThe highway was mostly empty, the kind of late-night quiet that only existed when everyone else had already gone to sleep. Jake was driving, one hand on the wheel, the other occasionally reaching for his energy drink. Riki sat in the front passenger seat with his knees pulled up, scrolling through his phone and throwing random comments into the conversation. Heeseung sat beside you in the back, wearing a black hoodie, his black hair slightly messy.
āThey had been talking for almost an hour straight.
āSomething about an old video game, then a stupid story, then Riki doing an exaggerated impression that made both Jake and Heeseung laugh. You sat there with your legs crossed, trying to look interested, but your mind was elsewhere.
āSpecifically, on the fact that you were already wet.
āIt had started small. Heeseungās hand rested on your thigh under the hoodie he had thrown over both of you earlier because the AC was too strong. Then his thumb started moving in slow circles. Just enough to make your body react.
āNow it was a problem.
āYou shifted in your seat for the third time. Heeseung didnāt notice. He was too busy leaning forward between the front seats, arguing with Riki about whether a certain scene in a game was fair or not.
āāIām telling you, it was broken,ā Riki said.
āāYouāre just mad you lost,ā Heeseung replied, voice light and amused.
āYou pressed your lips together and subtly tugged on the sleeve of his hoodie. He glanced at you for half a second, gave a small āhm?ā and then turned right back to the conversation when Jake started laughing.
āYou stared at the side of his face.
āReally?
āAnother few minutes passed. His hand was still on your thigh, but his attention was completely on his friends. You were getting wetter by the second while he was busy debating game mechanics. The unfairness of it made you both annoyed and more turned on.
āYou tried again. This time you placed your hand over his and slowly guided it higher. Heeseung finally looked down at your lap, then up at your face. In the dim light his expression was hard to read, but you saw the exact moment he understood.
āHis eyebrows lifted slightly.
āYou gave him a pointed look that said finally.
āA small, crooked smile tugged at his mouth. He leaned back in his seat, still facing forward like he was listening to Jake, but his hand turned under yours and pressed firmly between your legs. The moment he felt how soaked you already were through your underwear, his smile widened just a little.
āYou sucked in a quiet breath.
āRiki was in the middle of a loud story about almost missing a flight. Jake was laughing. Neither of them was looking back.
āHeeseung, still watching the front seats from the corner of his eye, slowly pulled your underwear to the side and slid two fingers along your wetness. You gripped the edge of the seat. He didnāt rush. He traced you leisurely, spreading the slickness around, before pushing one finger inside.
āYour thighs tensed.
āHeeseung made a low humming sound like he was reacting to something Riki said, but his finger curled at the same time. You bit the inside of your cheek hard.
āāYouāre actually insane for that,ā Jake was saying to Riki.
āāIām just saying what weāre all thinking,ā Riki replied.
āHeeseung added a second finger and started moving them in slow, deliberate strokes. You turned your face toward his shoulder, half-hiding against the soft fabric of his hoodie, trying to keep your breathing under control. He smelled like clean laundry and the faint cologne he always wore. It made everything worse.
āHe leaned in slightly, lips close to your temple, and whispered so only you could hear:
āāYouāve been like this for a while, huh?ā
āYou didnāt answer. You couldnāt without risking a sound.
āHeeseung chuckled quietly under his breath and kept going, fingers thrusting deeper now, the wet sound thankfully covered by the road noise and Rikiās dramatic storytelling. His thumb found your clit and started rubbing lazy circles. Your hips twitched despite yourself.
āJake turned the music up a little. Riki started singing along off-key on purpose. Heeseung used the noise to push his fingers faster, curling them against the spot that made your toes curl in your shoes. You grabbed his wrist under the hoodie, not sure if you were trying to stop him or keep him there.
āHe turned his head just enough to look at you. His eyes were dark with amusement and heat.
āāQuiet...babyā he mouthed, almost teasing.
āYou glared at him, but the effect was ruined by the way your lips parted when he pressed harder. He looked far too pleased with himself for someone fingering his girlfriend in the backseat while his friends sat a few feet away.
āThe conversation in the front continued. Something about camping food. Something about who would sleep where. You barely heard any of it. All you could focus on was the slow movement of his fingers and the way he kept glancing at the rearview mirror to make sure no one was watching.
āYou were so wet it was almost embarrassing. Heeseung clearly noticed. He leaned in one more time, voice barely audible:
āāYouāre dripping down my hand.ā
āYour face burned. He only smiled, pressed a quick kiss to the side of your head, and kept fucking you with his fingers like they had all the time in the world.
āJake yawned loudly in the front seat.
āāYāall good back there?ā he asked casually.
āHeeseungās fingers stopped moving for half a second, still buried inside you.
āāYeah,ā he answered, voice completely normal. āWeāre good.ā
āThen he curled them again, deeper, and you had to press your face harder into his shoulder to stay silent.
āJake lasted another forty minutes before his yawns started coming every few sentences. Riki held out longer, still throwing random comments into the quiet car, but even his voice eventually got slower and thicker. At some point the music was turned down low, and the only real sounds left were the tires on the highway and the occasional soft snore from the front.
āHeeseungās fingers had never fully stopped.
āHe had slowed down when the conversation died, keeping two fingers inside you in lazy, shallow movements just to feel how wet you stayed. Every time you tried to close your legs or shift away, he pressed his palm firmly against you and kept you open under the cover of his hoodie. Your forehead stayed against his shoulder. Your breathing had long since turned uneven.
āWhen Jakeās head finally tipped against the window and Rikiās phone slipped onto his lap, Heeseung waited a few more minutes in silence. Then he leaned in close, lips brushing your ear.
āāTheyāre out.ā
āYou lifted your head slightly. Both of them were genuinely asleep ā Jake breathing deeply, Rikiās mouth slightly open. The car was dark except for the soft glow of the dashboard.
āHeeseung pulled his fingers out slowly. You made a quiet, involuntary sound at the loss. He wiped them on the inside of your thigh, then reached down and tugged his sweatpants just low enough. In the dim light you saw how hard he already was.
āāCome here, babyā he whispered.
āYou hesitated only a second before carefully climbing onto his lap, knees on either side of his thighs, the oversized hoodie covering most of both of you. Heeseung held your hips steady with both hands, guiding you down. The second the head of his cock pressed against your soaked entrance, he exhaled sharply through his nose.
āāFuckā¦ youāre still this wet.ā
āYou sank down onto him in one slow movement. The stretch made your mouth fall open against his neck. Heeseungās hands tightened on your waist as you took him all the way. For a moment neither of you moved. You could feel him throbbing inside you.
āThen he started guiding your hips in small, careful rolls.
āIt was different from usual ā quieter and more controlled. Every thrust had to stay short so the car wouldnāt rock. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, one hand gripping the front of his hoodie, trying to keep every sound trapped in your throat. Heeseungās breathing grew heavier against your temple. His fingers dug into your ass under the hoodie as he pulled you down to meet each upward push of his hips.
āāYou feel so good,ā he whispered, voice strained. āTaking me so well while theyāre right thereā¦ā
āYou clenched around him at the words. He let out a low, almost silent groan and fucked up into you a little harder. The wet sound of it was soft but filthy in the quiet car. Your thighs started trembling.
āāCome on, babygirlā he murmured against your hair. āIāve got you. Just stay quiet.ā
āThe orgasm hit you hard and sudden. You bit down on the fabric of his hoodie to stay silent, pulsing around him as your whole body shook. Heeseung kept you moving through it, breathing roughly against your ear, until he suddenly pulled you down flush against him and came with a muted, shaky exhale, spilling deep inside you.
āFor a while you just stayed there, forehead against his shoulder, both of you trying to catch your breath without making noise. Heeseungās hand stroked slowly up and down your back under the hoodie. He pressed a lazy kiss to the side of your head.
āāYou okay?ā he whispered.
āYou nodded against him, still too wrecked to form words.
āEventually he helped you shift off his lap and fixed your clothes with careful hands. You ended up curled against his side, his arm around you, the hoodie draped over both of you again like nothing had happened. The low hum of the car and the warmth of his body made your eyes heavy almost immediately.
āYou fell asleep to the feeling of his fingers slowly running through your hair.
āSome time later, the sky outside had started turning a faint gray.
āYou woke up to the sound of Rikiās voice, rough from sleep.
āāā¦Iām just saying, I had a very interesting dream.ā
āJake made a sleepy noise from the driverās seat. āWhat?ā
āāI swear I heard something,ā Riki continued, clearly amused. āLikeā¦ wet sounds. And whispering. Very suspicious for a family-friendly car ride.ā
āYou kept your eyes closed, face still pressed against Heeseungās chest, praying the heat in your cheeks wasnāt visible. Heeseungās body stayed relaxed under you, but you felt the quiet huff of laughter that moved his chest.
āāYouāre hearing things,ā Heeseung said, voice calm and slightly rough from sleep. āGo back to sleep, Riki.ā
āāMm. Sure.ā Riki yawned. āBut if the backseat is sticky, Iām not taking the blame.ā
āJake snorted. āWhy would the backseat be sticky?ā
āāIām just saying,ā Riki replied innocently.
āHeeseungās hand, hidden under the hoodie, gave your waist a slow, secret squeeze. You pinched his side in revenge. He only smiled into your hair, completely unbothered, as the car kept driving toward the campsite and the first light of morning spilled across the highway.
MR. POSSESSIVE āĖąæ ā [p. sunghoon] part one
SYNOPSIS ā¢ Park Sunghoon can easily be described in three words: stuck-up, picky, and overly critical about everything and everyone. That was until he met you, who ticked off everything he liked in his head. One problem, he's got too much pride and ego to do anything about it. The other problem? His best friend, Jake, swooped in and took action before he could even build up the courageāāand Sunghoon really hates when people take what's his.
pairing ā¢ grumpy downbad! sunghoon x fem! reader
genre ā¢ written, friends to lovers (?), university au
content warnings ā¢ smut with plot (18+), humour, profanity, use of alcohol, reader is with jake for a certain period in the story, sunghoon has a one-sided rivalry with jake, mutual pining but they don't know, sunghoon is stubborn in the beginning but should lowkey be prescribed xanax later on, everyone in the story kinda makes poor decisions (depending how you view it), homie hopping lol, softdom! sunghoon, unprotected p in v sex, multiple rounds, overstimulation, fingering, oral (m & f. receiving), mild ass play, nipple play, bulge kink, dirty talk, squirting, use of petnames (just baby), sunghoon is downright filthy in bed.
featuring ā¢ all of enhypen (7), giselle of aespa & anton of riize cameo(s)
word count: ~12k
author's note: official bambiens comeback with my first EVER full-length fic!! (please be kind to me), i genuinely didn't think i'd ever post a full-length fic āā let alone this one, like i thought this shit was gonna get sent straight into the basement. anyways, i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing this!! also i haven't proofread this yet let me know if there are any mistakes please!
MR. POSSESSIVE PLAYLIST ā¹Ėā¬āā
reblogs appreciated ā”
PARK SUNGHOON was always a hard guy to please.Ā
Exhibit A (extracted from age 5): As a child, heād make a fuss whenever his mom forgot to cut the crusts off of his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.Ā
To this day, he still tells his mom that he didn't throw tantrums over bread crusts because he was āpicky,ā but simply because he had āfood sensory issues.ā
Exhibit B (extracted from age 10): He liked his toy figurines organized in a certain kind of way āā aligned on his shelf, standing upright, facing forward. Nothing else, no exceptions.Ā
One day, he found his limited edition Superman action figure fallen face flat on the shelf.Ā
His parents earthquake-proofed all of their furniture.Ā
ā¦he later found out that his sister was secretly playing with his toys while he was at school.
Sunghoon didnāt come out of his room for three days after that.
Exhibit C (extracted from age 15): There were even instances in high school where he would get his grades appealed if he believed they were āmarked incorrectly,ā which, by the way, always got re-corrected in the end. Even if he really was wrong in the first place.
It was either his way or the highway.
In other words, Park Sunghoon was a complete perfectionist, and this fastidious behaviour followed him well into his adulthood.Ā
Somehow along the way, he managed to score himself a scholarship and landed himself a place in a prestigious university.
But even when he got there he was sensitive about the minor details. He was extremely particular about his class timetable, stuck to a tight-grit schedule, and even had certain criteria of who could be his friend and who couldnāt.Ā
And when it finally came down to choosing his university friends, he managed to pick people who were all in the same major, shared the same humour, had the same hobbies, and followed similar daily schedules as him āā but before you think of anything, no, they definitely werenāt as hypercritical as he was.Ā
Donāt get him wrong though, despite his meticulous and seemingly strict nature, he still found time to fool around and have fun whilst in school.Ā
If anything, Sunghoon considered himself asā¦ quite the witty guy.Ā
He kept a mental list of things he likes. He likes watching funny cat memes on his feed, playing games on his computer during his free time, going clubbing with his friends every weekend, and he also really likes how the shawarma shop beside his place always had a buy-one-get-one deal on Thursdays.
He also had a list of things he hates. He hates when he has to share his food, or anything, really; he hates when people chew with their mouths open, he hates when freshmen walk too slowly on campus, he hates when his roommates āforgetā to clean their dirty dishes āā honestly, the list could go on and on.
But, for the past couple of months, what he hated most was his best friend, Sim Jake.
Sunghoon didnāt always hate him though. If he hated him from the beginning, one, he wouldnāt have befriended him in the first place, and two, he wouldnāt have asked him to be one of his roommates āā which, this entire living situation soon became an issue with him. An extreme issue, he would call it, even.
So, what was the catalyst to the start of Sunghoonās immense hatred towards Jake, you may ask?Ā
Well, it was you.Ā
At this point, Sunghoonās heard it all. With people constantly calling him ānit-pickyā and āextremely demanding,ā always complaining that he has these crazy high standards for everything and that thereās nothing ā better yet, no one ā he ever liked from the get-go.
How exhausting does that sound?
Though he can admit, theyāre all right about him being nit-picky, extremely demanding, and right about him having those ācrazy highā standards. But, they were a bit wrong about that last part.
Park Sunghoon wasnāt sure about a lot of things, but he knew he was sure he liked you.
He guessed he always, at least, subconsciously knew he liked you from the second the two of you met during freshmen orientation āā he hadnāt realized it back then, but you kind of just checked off all the boxes in his mind.
With his personality though, he had never admitted it out-loud āā even if it was pain-stakingly obvious to all of his close friends.
It honestly really was just a little crush to him at first. He started looking for your face around campus, teasing you whenever you were around, occasionally texting each other. You know, doing the usual shit slightly delusional people always do to cope with their minor infatuations who donāt like them back.
Surprisingly over time, the two of you eventually became a lot closer and hung out with each other more.
ā¦and also became a little more flirtatious with each other (at least thatās what Sunghoon thinks, but heās not too sure).Ā
It got to the point where Sunghoonās friends could tell whether he was in a good mood or not depending on whether he got a text from you that day.
You and Sunghoon were good, he thought things were going well āā heās got gameā¦ right?Ā
Until one day, Sunghoonās fairytale-princess-dream of living a life with the two of you together all came crashing down.Ā
To be honest, youād never met Sunghoonās so-called ābest friendsā the past two years you had been friends. You started to wonder whether they were real or if Sunghoon was just faking it and actually has no friends.
Eventually, you came to meet them āā Heeseung, Jay, Sunoo, Jungwon, Riki, and Jake.
Sunghoon really hated that. He never even wanted to introduce you to his friends, you guys just bumped into each other by accident.
In his mind, he kind of just wanted to keep you as his little secret. After all, he met you first, befriended you first, and liked you first. And again, Sunghoon really hated sharing.
And, it sounds a teensy bit toxic but heād always been competitive to the bone, maybe a little too much. So when he saw you started getting a lot closer to Jake than you were with him, it honestly felt like a two-faced betrayal. But he couldnāt say anything āā his ego and stubbornness wouldnāt let him.
Sunghoon kind of just watched and let it happen, so he honestly shouldnāt even be that mad. At first, he tried to bury the thought of you and Jake being ābest friendsā in the back of his head. But it didnāt help when you started coming over to his shared apartment to hang out with stupid, freaking Jake.
He always wondered why you chose Jake and not him.
All of Sunghoonās friends had just adjusted from the fact that they thought he liked you... to Jake being the one pursuing you instead.Ā
You and Sunghoon never āfell out,ā however, the friendship felt a bit more distant. But what was Sunghoon supposed to do about it? Beg you to become best friends with him instead? Whenever he thought this way, heād always feel like he reverted back into a kid.
When youād come over, you would say āhi,ā and engage in like, three-minute small talk with Sunghoon, and then go into Jakeās stinkinā room and giggle with him and probably have so much fun with whatever the fuck Jake is doing.Ā
Sunghoon wouldnāt really know though, he couldnāt bring himself to ask what the two of you did when you left their apartment.
The most information he could get was when his other roommates would tease Jake about you. There was one particular time, however, where Sunghoon was royally pissed off over the two of you. According to him, this conversation was just so juvenile and hard-to-listen to this day.Ā
Sunghoon was in the kitchen fixing their coffee machine while silently eavesdropping on his roommates by the couch. Jay lightly nudged Jakeās shoulder, āSo, you and y/n, whatās up with that?ā
The second Sunghoon heard Jay drop the first vowel of your name, his ears immediately perked up.
Jake chuckles, staying focused on the game in front of him, āNah man, chill. Itās nothing like that.ā
Liar.
Heeseung tsks, tossing his controller down after losing a match against Jake, āIf it was just ānothingā then you wouldnāt be texting her all day and hanging out with her more than your own roommmates.ā
Right? Heeseungās so right. If it really was just ānothingā then he wouldnāt have caught Jake kicking his feet up and down while on the phone with you.
āGuys, leave it, weāre just best friends.ā Jake laughs.
Yeah right, thatās such bullshit cause Sunghoon had found out you two started dating, like, exactly a month later.
That was essentially the beginning of his own hell, agony, and his pure hatred towards Jake.
Sunghoon would see you waltz into his āā their, sorry āā apartment almost every day with a huge smile plastered on your face like shit was all sweet and rainbows and butterflies when he was suffering every waking minute.
Daily heād see your annoyingly gorgeous face, hear your stupidly adorable laughter through the walls, and watch you and Jake be all lovey-dovey right in front of him. Sunghoon didnāt even know he could like a person to this extent, you just made him like this.
It actually made him sick in the stomach. That shouldāve been him.
One morning, he genuinely contemplated jumping off of their balcony when you stepped outside of Jakeās room wearing his clothes. He wanted to shout, he wanted to remind you that you were his friend first, he wanted to ask you, āwhat do you see in him that you donāt see in me?ā
But all he managed to spit out was, āMorning, you want coffee?ā while gripping onto his penguin-shaped coffee mug so tight that it was on the brink of shattering into pieces.
Now, Sunghoon knew it was wrong, and that youāre now quite literally his best friend's girlfriend but what ever happened to ādibs?ā He knew you way before than dumbass Jake did.
One night, Sunghoon couldnāt fall asleep. He had been tossing and turning for the past two hours trying not to lose his mind over the fact that you were sleeping over at their place, again.
He thought some tea might help soothe his worries and ease his anxiety a little bit, eventually bringing him to sleep, so he got up and made his way over to the kettle in the kitchen. He got his favourite mug out and had the peppermint tea bag sitting nicely inside when he heard a small pip-squeak coming from the rooms.
At first he couldnāt actually tell if that sound was coming from the rooms or if it was just the steam from the kettle, but then a pip-squeak turned into a muffled gasp āā a seemingly sexual sounding one, he believed.
Sunghoon couldnāt bear to stick around longer to figure out whether you and Jake were having sex. That was enough for him to abandon his cup of tea and trudge his way over to Sunoo, Jungwon, and Rikiās place in his house slippers and pajamas.Ā
He even bought ear-plugs at the convenience store on the way there.
Sunghoon honestly doesnāt really remember much after he bolted out of his apartment that night. But according to them, he got to their place and sat in the corner of their living room with his knees to his chest āā refusing to tell any of them what the matter was āā eventually falling asleep on the floor.Ā
Riki also did keep mentioning how Sunghoon started rocking back-and-forth while whispering to himself quietly, but everyone knows Riki has a thing for theatrics.
While yes, Sunghoon had thoughts about you that were most definitely against the bro-code, he never actually acted on them.
Like, yeah Sunghoon hated his best friend for stealing the love of his life, but thatās still literally his best friend āā whom he hates. Itās complicated, he canāt really explain it.
Over the course of a couple months, Sunghoon thinks heās seen and heard it all, especially the arguments you and Jake would have. On those nights, he prayed heād wake up to news that you guys finally broke up āā which never happened by the way.
Those arguments were usually petty and small, but a particular argument was unlike the rest.Ā
One day, you ran out of Jakeās room in tears. Sunghoon was on the couch watching the evening news with the volume turned up so high at the time, he couldnāt even hear you guys arguing anymore.
But this was just usual protocol whenever you and Jake would argue, it felt almost invasive so all of the guys agreed to blast the TV and drown out the yelling sound.
At first, Sunghoon didnāt notice you crying hysterically āā not until he looked up and saw your face.
Sunghoonās body reacted by itself. Without even meaning to, he found himself chasing after you to make sure you were okay. You two were still friends regardless of the fact that you were in a relationship with Jake, so he thought this was totally justifiable.
When Sunghoon finally caught up to you, he grabbed your arm, āHey,ā he spoke softly, āI canāt let you leave until I know youāre okay. Whatās wrong?ā
You finally turn to look at him, and he sees you: mascara running down your rosy cheeks, eyes all puffy, your nose running a little. It wasnāt long till you shrugged Sunghoonās hand off your arm.
āStop acting stupid,ā you spat, āyou guys are best friends, I know you that you know already. Really, what are you even here for? To seem like some good-guy-hero? Like, what, youāre gonna go on a whole tangent about how Jake is a great guy, that this is just some miscommunication, how heāll apologize or that, maybe even I should be the one to apologizeāāā
Maybe Sunghoon shouldnāt have said what he said next, because it just made things worse.
āIs that really what you think of me, y/n? Like Iām just Jakeās loyal fucking lapdog running after you so I can take his side? Heās my friend, yeah, but why would you ever think that lowly of me?ā
At this point, you started to feel really bad for snapping on him when in reality, he was just trying to help.
Sunghoon speaks in a tiny voice, āI donāt even know whatās going on in your relationship. I donāt even ask about it because it hurts.ā
Your face of dishevelment slowly turns into confusion as you keep listening to Sunghoon, āWhat are you talking about?ā
Sunghoon knows he probably shouldnāt be talking about this right now, that he should just end the conversation there and maybe try to gaslight you into thinking that he actually said something else āā but it all slipped out.
He lets out a frustrated sigh accompanied with a quick eye-roll, almost like he canāt believe the words that heās about to say, āI met you first. We were friends first. I liked you first. But I just let you slip away and now youāre his āā and I canāt do anything about it. Iāve been forced to just watch you with him. You donāt even know how bitter I get seeing you guys together. He knew I liked you first, and he took you away from me. You were supposed to be with me instead.āĀ
You have a boyfriend, this is your boyfriendās best friend. This whole situation is fucked up. All you do is shake your head in disbelief, āWhat are you trying to say, whatās the whole point of this Sunghoon?ā
A pause of silence passed by, and in those seconds of quietness, Sunghoon really tried hard to think, what is the whole point of him telling you this now? What did he think would even happen?
āIāI donāt know,ā he stutters, ājustā nothing. Just forget everything I said please, just forget about it. Let me get you an Uber home.ā
The truth was, you understood what he meant completely and you couldnāt just simply forget about it.
But you had to pretend.
Just in time, you saw Jake jogging towards you two in your peripheral vision. It wasnāt long until Sunghoon noticed.
The second Jake came to you, Sunghoon took a step back and left.
You honestly forgot about your argument with Jake until he apologized and insisted he drove you home. The drive back to your place was silent. Your head was leaned against the car window with your hands between your thighs the entire ride.
Jake turned onto your street, eventually pulling up to the entrance of your apartment. The two of you sit there for a while, the only sound coming from his fingers lightly drumming on the console. Your gaze stays fixed on a tree outside, too embarrassed to break the ice first.
He moves his hand onto the steering wheel, āy/n, Iām really sorry.ā
You turn your head slightly to look at him before pushing the car door open, āItās fine, just donāt let it happen again.ā
Jake watches you slam the car door shut, making your way inside and up the elevator before he drives away.
That night, you had a lot to ponder about āā not just because of the argument you and your boyfriend had, but also because of what his best friend had just confessed to you...
Fuck, why are you even thinking about Sunghoon again? Jakeās right here. Jake is your boyfriendā¦ yeah.
āĖąæ
Mondays were always the worst for Sunghoon. At 8 a.m., he has Theory of Computation, then once that ends at 10, he has an hour to himself before heās got three back-to-back classes till 4 p.m. On top of that, he also told Sunoo and Riki that heād meet them at the library at 6:30 p.m. to get a headstart on their group project.Ā
Great, he thought, so now heās able to schedule an hour-long nervous breakdown before he has to compose himself like a normal citizen and attend to his responsibilities again.Ā
Once he got home after his final lecture of the day, he sat on his desk chair (not his bed, he had his outside clothes on) and pulled out his phone from his backpocket.
āGoogle am I a bad person?ā
Sunghoonās staring at the searchbar waiting for the results to load on his phone, the floorboards creaking loudly because of how much he kept bouncing his legs out of anxiety.Ā
All heās done the past 24 hours was replay the conversation he last had with you, and the more he kept thinking about it, the more he started to feel like he really fucked up this time.Ā
His first worry was you possibly telling Jake that he had just confessed his undying love for you āā but when he heard Jake say good morning the next day while making an omelette, he crossed that fear off the list.
'Cause like, what guy who's mad would make omelettes in the morning?
His second worry was that he might actually be a horrible person. Sunghoon always understood he was insufferable since birth, but never once has he thought he was a bad guyā¦ until now.
Like, itās a really fucked up situation right? He put you in a difficult position, and if Jake finds out then thatās goodbye to his best friend too āā oh god, what about his roommates? Will he have to find a new place to live next year?
A plethora of different worries began to plague his mind until he realized the search results had finally loaded on his phone. He saw countless people asking the same question on different forums, where he eventually found himself on r/AmItheAsshole, reading excerpts from literally Lucifer(s) themselves in attempts to make him feel better about his own situation.
At that moment Sunghoon came to the realization that, yeah there are definitely a lot of worse people in the world with way more questionable morals than him āā and that if he was considered a bad person, then the people of this Subreddit must think heās made out of unicorns and sunshine.
Before he left his apartment again, he took a deep breath, tried to push his feelings down and go about his day.
When he finally arrived at the library, he found Jungwon and Riki at their usual spot. Jungwon spots him walking towards them first, prompting him to move his backpack on the seat beside him to the ground, āHey, we saved you a spot.ā
Sunghoon falls into the chair, āThanks man.ā
In front of Jungwon, Riki lays his head flat on the table, āGuys, can we rethink this. We have a month till this project is due. Isnāt doing this real early almost unnecessary?ā
Jungwon continues typing on his keyboard, not once looking up, āItās just in case, and thereās nothing wrong with starting early.ā
Riki rolls his eyes and releases a big sigh before raising his head to look back up at his JavaScript for the nth time today.
Once Sunghoon had opened up his computer, Jungwon left no time to waste, āI forgot to ask, have you ever used a graphical interface for designing SQL queries before?"
āYeah, have you?ā
Riki looks up at the two of them like theyāre speaking a completely different language, when in reality heās supposed to be in the same major as them āā therefore he probably should know what Sunghoon and Jungwon are talking about.
āNo,ā Jungwon shakes his head, āBut, thatāll aid us while building this thing.ā
āIāve had enough of this,ā Riki groans and shuts his laptop, āSorry Won, but Iāve been busting my ass learning this code for the past three hours weāve been here āā I havenāt even eaten anything yet!ā
He pulls out his phone, face immediately lighting up green, āFuck it, Iām ordering UberEats, yāall want something?ā
Sunghoon declines, āNah, Iām good I ate before I left.ā
Inside his backpack, Jungwon pulls out a tupperware filled with fruit and a bag of half-eaten beef jerky, āItās fine, I packed myself some food.ā
āDude, what the hell,ā Riki exits from the app, āWhy didnāt you tell me you had food, my stomach has been grumbling for a whole hour.ā
āYeah, I know, I heard.ā
Riki snatches the bag of opened beef jerky as a form of opposition against Jungwon, stuffing a handful into his mouth.
āWait,ā pausing mid-chew to swallow his food, āAnton just texted me, apparently his fratās hosting a houseparty, mixer-thingy āā whatever the fuck āā on Friday.ā
Sunghoon holds back a laugh, āHell nah, remember what happened when their frat threw a party last semester?ā
Unlike Sunghoon, Jungwon has no shame and bursts out in laughter causing the rest of the people on the floor to hush him, āYo, we gotta go, Jake was legendary that time.ā
Rikiās face falters as if he were recalling a traumatic memory, āMan, I donāt think Jakeās gonna act out, heās been a different guy ever since he got a girl. Kinda miss the old him.ā
After hearing your name being brought up in the conversation, Sunghoon looks up from his computer, fully immersing himself in the topic āā yet, he canāt bring himself to speak.
āDonāt make assumptions that heās boring yet, I donāt think this guy has gone out since then, the guyās a beast when heās fucked up. Ya never know. Maybe heāll surprise us.ā Jungwon chuckles.
āDo you still have that video of him from last year?ā
āBro, of course I do. Chill, let me find it on my camera roll.ā
At this moment, all of Sunghoonās thoughts began racing.Ā
He canāt help it but those feelings of resentment towards Jake are all coming back again. Maybe he really is a bad person after all, because the only thing he could say was, āI think we should go.ā
This is the reason why Sunghoon thinks that he might actually be a horrible person āā because why would he want to see his best friend potentially fuck up?
From then on, Sunghoon decided that this was the last time he would be selfish ...he thinks.
āĖąæ
It was around 10 p.m. when Sunghoon had gotten home from the library. All of the lights in the apartment were turned off, which was kind of odd to him but he didnāt really pay much attention to it. He figures his roommates just went somewhere āā he honestly doesnāt care where.Ā
In fact, he liked it when he was the only one home. It gave him some peace and solace. He never liked to admit it, but sometimes being with other people is exhausting.Ā
Not that he doesnāt like being around his roommates, he does. Itās just a little daunting for him to be around people for extended periods of time. He really hates the way he thinks. He finds it a little embarrassing that he thinks itās anxiety-inducing and overwhelming to be around other people sometimes.
He thinks his logic is flawed, and almost wishes he wasnāt like this. Look at Park Sunghoon, uptight, picky, critical, no-good-for-anyone āā yet he canāt stick around long if heās surrounded by people or else heāll freak out?Ā
Whatever, he doesnāt have time to host his own pity party when heās got bigger fish to fry.Ā
In hopes of seeking relaxation after the day heās had, he grabs a towel and heads toward the bathroom. Waiting for him was a nice, steamy-hot shower, preferably one thatās a little too hot that it makes his body physically produce steam.
What he expected to see when he walked into the bathroom was a fucking toilet, shower, and sink. But when he opened the bathroom door, he was greeted with a fucking toilet, shower, sink, and you who just happens to be brushing your teeth oh-so conveniently at the same time Sunghoon wants to shower.
Truthfully, you almost scared the shit out of Sunghoon when he saw your face, cause first of all, no oneās even supposed to be home right now (allegedly).
Your eyes widen when you come face-to-face with Sunghoon. This was the first time the two of you had seen each other since last night. He didnāt rehearse this meeting happening and now heās internally freaking out.
Instead of the awkward encounter Sunghoon had anticipated, you spit out your toothpaste, finish brushing your teeth, and flash him a smile, āHey, sorry I was just quickly brushing my teeth, you can use the bathroom now.ā
A smile that almost convinced Sunghoon that maybe last night was all just a dream and didnāt actually happen in real life.
Straight-faced, he nods, clearing the doorway for you to step out. He watches you walk past his bedroom door and go into Jakeās room before he steps inside the bathroom.Ā
Under the showerhead, Sunghoon lets the water run down his head, staring down at the drain. He had numerous thoughts running through his mind, but what stuck out most was why you just acted like nothing had happened between them?
When he looks up to grab his shampoo, he sees all of your shower products in the corner with Jakeās toiletries āā which made him come to the realization that actually, maybe nothing had happened between you two at all.
At the end of the day, youāre still Jakeās girl. Nothing changed that. Not even his stupid confession of love for you.
When he stepped out of the shower, he concluded that what really happened was: he shared his feelings for you on a whim, you basically rejected him, and now youāre probably just being nice to him, acting like everything is fine because heās still Jakeās best friend after all.
Fuck, now heās embarrassed. He should just forget about this whole ordeal āā right?
āĖąæ
For the rest of the week, Sunghoon was lucky enough to not bump into you anywhere āā not even inside their apartment. There were days where he knew you were over, but you never came out of Jakeās room whenever he was around.
All Sunghoon had been looking forward to all week was Antonās frat party. It was basically an excuse for him to abuse alcohol and make bad decisions.
Once he came home from his last lab at 7:30 p.m. on Friday, he found his quiet sanctuary (his shared apartment) filled with all of his friends, quickly grabbing a beer from one of the cartons before ducking into his room to change.
Sunghoon tried to act nonchalantly, pretending like he didnāt actually care about what he was gonna wear to the frat party. Itās not even like he has clothes that would upstage anyoneās outfit, he was really overthinking it for no reason.
Knock knock.
āYo, just come in, whyād you have to fucking knock?ā he yells.
A small voice spoke through the crack of his door, āOh, sorry, um, itās just me, y/n, the guys need help picking up the keg stand.ā
Sunghoon almost got whiplash from how fast he turned his head around to look at you; you hadnāt stepped a foot into his room, the door was slightly creaked open, and your head was down āā which he soon realized itās because he doesnāt have a shirt on.
He swiftly grabbed the first shirt that was within vicinity and threw it on, āOh sorry, I thought you were one of the guys, you caught me off guard.ā
You flail your hands, finally looking up now that heās fully clothed, āNo! Itās okay! They told me to go and get you āā wait.ā
Sunghoon furrows his eyebrows, wait for what?
All he could hear was your laughter, one that he recognized all too well, āMaybe you should change your shirt, Hoon.ā
He immediately dropped his head down to look at what he was wearing.
ā¦of course the shirt he had to grab happened to be the stupid t-shirt Heeseung gave him for Christmas that says āMike Who Cheese Hairyā in bold.
Great, could Sunghoonās life get any worse?
That night, he had a little too much to drink, actually maybe way more than he anticipated. But Sunghoon wasnāt the messy type of drunk āā at least thatās what he thinks.
He was never the type of guy who let himself get too intoxicated. He usually knew what his limits were. Oftentimes, he thought that overly drunk people in public settings were making a fool of themselves and that maybe those people just had a humiliation kink.
But as of right now, Sunghoonās kinda having trouble holding his balance at Alpha Epsilon Phiās mixer.
In his defence, he only got this fucked up because him and Jake were going back-to-back on that keg stand trying to outdo the other āā which only got the both of them hammered.
What made things even worse for Sunghoon, however, was the fact that 15 feet away from him were you and Jake.
Sunghoon was consumed in jealousy. How could he not? He canāt bring himself to look away from the painful scene in front of him, Jake wobbling against the island table with his hands wrapped around your waist while you fix his scruffy hair.
All he could think was: Iām drunk as fuck too. Whereās my help?
He scoffed and decided heās had enough and went up the stairs. Using all of his strength, he managed to lock himself in a bathroom and finally took a deep breath out.
Sunghoon kept blinking his eyes while staring at his reflection in the mirror āā trying to desperately convince himself heās not seeing double right now.Ā
Thinking that he might be able to sober up, he turned on the faucet, cupping his hand and drank from the sink (he also splashed a bunch of water on his face, slapped himself 10x, and tried to pull trig, which he failed to do).Ā
After 15 minutes had passed by and a hundred knocks later, Sunghoon decided to finally come out of his lavatory dungeon āā and of course the first person who he sees is Jake.
At this point, heās just silently preparing himself to see you and him be all flirty and couple-y again.
Except, when Sunghoon gets closer, he realizes that Jake isnāt with you āā but another girl?
He immediately paused in his tracks, watching what was happening in front of him. Sunghoon was confused, where were you? Why werenāt you with Jake? And most importantly, what is Jake doing with another girl?
Should he say something? He should go up to him and stop him, right? But is that the best thing to do? What even is Jake doing?
The longer Sunghoon looks, the more uncertain he becomes. Jake seems a little too close to the girl, even if they arenāt kissing or doing anythingā¦ but why doesnāt this seem right to him?
Would this be considered cheating? Nothing sexual seems to be happening, just a bunch of teasing arm grabbing and touching.
But that wasnāt you, and youāre his girlfriend. If it wasnāt cheating, it still had to be fucking weird. Sunghoon was infuriated. Jake got the girl but canāt even treat her right?Ā
He knew then that he had to leave before he made a scene.
When he came back downstairs, he couldnāt help but feel suffocated. There were too many people, the air was stuffy, it reeked of alcohol, and the soles of his shoes were too sticky to stay inside any longer. So he decided to step outside instead.Ā
Sunghoon sat on a curb a couple of feet away from the fraternity, but still far enough that he wouldnāt be disturbed by booming bass or intoxicated party-goers. He figured heād stay outside till his friends decide theyāve had enough with partying āā he wasnāt really feeling the vibe of the function anyways.
At one point, Sunghoon decided to just lay down on the pavement because he was drunk and he can. Out of boredom he began counting how many streetlights ran up and down the street, eventually dozing off in the process.
Coming out of a hazy state, all Sunghoon could hear was his name being repeated multiple times. When he opened his eyes, he came face-to-face with you.
You give a big sigh of relief, āOh thank god, I thought you died for a second dude. Donāt scare me like that!āĀ
āWhat? ā¦y/n?ā Sunghoon rubs his eyes, āSorry, I accidentally um, fell asleep I think.ā
You laugh while Sunghoon fixes his posture and sits up right again, āCan I sit beside you?ā
To be honest, Sunghoon still kinda feels foggy in his half-woken drunk state, so he canāt really think properly, āYeah, yeah, go ahead.ā He pats on the ground beside him. You take a seat, bringing your chin to your knees, playing with the gravel beneath you.
āAre you not having fun?ā You ask.
Sunghoon looks straight ahead and shakes his head, āNot really feeling it today.ā
You nod in agreement, continuing to collect pebbles with your right hand.
After a beat, Sunghoon turns to look at you, āHey, I, um, need to tell you something important.ā
āHmm? What is it?ā
He lets a deep exhale out before bringing himself to speak again, āI saw Jake inside with another girl. They werenāt like, doing anything but itās just weird āā I donāt know if this is cheating but I thought I should tellāā
Your eyes stay fixed on the ground, āI know.ā
Sunghoon furrows his eyebrows at you, āWhat do you mean?ā
āThatās why we were arguing last week. This has always been an issue with him, even if it isnāt physically cheating.ā
Sunghoon didnāt know this. All he could hear during your arguments with Jake was the volume of the TV on max. Carefully, he asked, āIs thisā¦ not the first time?ā
āNo.ā
You almost feel ashamed that youāre confessing this all to Sunghoon. Youāre scared of what heād think of you. You already know what heās like, what heās probably thinking of you at this moment. Youāre aware of how pathetic you sound right now.
Before he could even think about what he was saying, he blurted it all out, āI donāt get it, then why donāt you just break up with him? Isnāt what heās doing bothering you?ā
That night, you and Sunghoon found out something about each other: the two of you probably shouldnāt be together while drunk.
ā...I donāt know. Wouldnāt breaking up with him mean that I wonāt be able to see you anymore?ā
āWhat? Why are you saying that?ā
āIf me and Jake end on bad terms, does that mean that you wonāt be there for me anymore?ā
āĖąæ
After Jake had dropped you off at your apartment that night last week, you realized you were more angry than sad. All of those tears had dried up, and now you were yelling on the phone.
āWhy would he do this now when he had all that time last year and make a proper move! Itās not my fault he didnāt man up sooner!ā You ranted on the phone.
You didnāt know what else to do except call Giselle and ask for some advice.Ā
āI donāt get Sunghoon, he never did anything about us for so long and now he wants to tell me that he wanted me first?ā
āWell, what are you going to do about it? Youāre with his best friend now,ā Giselle asks on the other side of the speaker.
You wipe your mascara-streaked eyes with a cotton pad, āI would have loved it if he told me all of that a year ago, thatās what I wanted. He missed his chance and now Iām just stuck in a sticky situation.ā
āBut, you love Jake right?ā
āYeah...ā you murmured, āRight.ā
Before you were with Jake, Sunghoon was the one you wanted most.Ā
To you, Park Sunghoon was like this shiny, perfect Ken doll that you wanted so badly but couldnāt get no matter what.
Contrary to popular belief, you had made your advances towards him āā just in different ways. So you actually never knew if he caught on or not. Over time it seemed like Sunghoon really had no interest in you at all, and youād be lying if you said you werenāt heartbroken over it at all.
You decided to move on after being sure that nothing would happen with you and Sunghoon. In all honesty, you were never that interested in Jake at the beginning.
It was always him starting conversations, making plans. And after a while, you started getting used to Jakeās company.
But for some reason, the closer you got with Jake, the further Sunghoon seemed to get. At the time, you knew not to think any more about you and Sunghoon āā it wasnāt happening and thatās final.
You came to learn that Jake was a pretty outgoing and talkative guy, the complete opposite of Sunghoon.Ā
When Jake finally asked you to be his girlfriend, you wonāt lie. You were taken aback. Itās true, you do like Jakeā¦ but what about Sunghoon? Were you really over this crush? Are you going to have to be around him all the time because heās Jakeās best friend? You didnāt know if you could do that.
You snap back into reality when you remind yourself that Sunghoon just doesnāt like you like that.
And it wasnāt like you didnāt like Jake at all. So, you gave him a chance.
Sim Jake was extroverted, polite, and friendly āā maybe a little too friendly. Being in social settings with him almost felt exhausting sometimes. He was the kind of guy that was able to go up to anyone and be able to talk to them.
The first time he ever got too friendly with a girl, you tried to ignore it. You made excuses for him like, thatās just the way he is, maybe Iām being an overbearing girlfriend.
But then it happened a second time, then a third time, then it just kept going.
This was the main reason for most of your arguments.
The start of your arguments often looked like this: the two of you would go somewhere, Jake would get a little too close, a little too talkative to a girl, and you had to wait till you guys were alone to bring up your concerns.
āJake, I just really donāt like how overly friendly you are with other girls. It makes me feel weird as your girlfriend.ā
Jake doesnāt seem to be taking the conversation seriously, āCāmon, y/n youāre the only girl I have eyes for.ā
You shrug, sitting on the edge of his bed, āCanāt you just, I donāt know, notā¦ do that? I really donāt like it.ā
He tenses his forehead, fixing his position on the bed, ā...do you not trust me?ā
Your eyes widen in shock, āNo! Thatās not what Iām saying at all!ā
And thatās essentially how you and Jake got into that huge argument last week.
What a mess.
āĖąæ
When Sunghoon woke up the day after the frat party, he was met with constant panging in his head. He only remembers little bits and pieces of the night and genuinely cannot, for the life of him, remember how he even got home that night.Ā
It was only till after breakfast that he found out Sunoo had called him a Uber home after he spotted him crying alone on the curbside.
Why was he even crying? He canāt remember, no matter how hard he tries to pull it out of his memory, nothing comes out.
Sunghoonās roommates were usually out and about on Saturdays, so he decided to dedicate his Saturdays to self-care āā which in Sunghoonās case, means watching cute videos of animals and yelling at his teammates over the mic that they suck ass all day.
He couldnāt even do that because of all that banging inside his head. Even after taking some Tylenol, it just wouldnāt stop pounding. So Sunghoon decided he should try to sleep it out on the couch.
After a couple of minutes of tossing and turning, Sunghoon finally found some tranquility āā but this was ruined the second he heard their apartment door slam shut.
Sunghoon almost fell out of the couch due to the sound, āWhat the fuck are you slamming doors for in the afternoon?ā
When he looks up to see which one of his roommates almost broke their door down, he sees Jake āā his expression annoyed and Sunghoonās presence totally ignored. Jake slams his own door shut without saying a word.
Sunghoon always knew not to bother Jake when he was upset and to just wait for him to feel better, so instead he sent a couple texts to Heeseung and Jay asking whatās up with Jake.
SUNGHOON
Whatās up with Jake
He just came in slamming doors looking pissy and my head fucking hurtssss
JJONGSAENG
think he and y/n broke up
HEESEUNG
U being deadass?
JJONGSAENG
yeah but jake didnāt tell me tho
heard thru the grapevineĀ
u know how fast rumours spread on campus
but pretty sure they did iāll ask him later
Upon reading these texts Sunghoon sat up immediately. All those times he prayed for you and Jake to break up finally came into fruition. But was it right for him to be celebrating like this? Jakeās still his best friend after all.
His thumb hovers over your contact on his phone āā but what was he even going to do? Say, hey heard you and Jake broke up, Iām sorry. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be waiting?
He felt incompetent and stupid thinking about this, so he just turned off his phone and kept trying to sleep.
Later that night, Sunghoon found out that you broke up with him and not the other way around. Sunghoon tried really hard not to smile when Jake was explaining what had happened between the two of them to their roommates.Ā
They found out that you had broken up with him after he said, quote, ā...she saw me with another girl at the frat and got so fucking upset about something and the fact that I was āacting outā at the party, then she left without a word. It wasnāt until this morning she texted asking me to come over to talk. I didnāt know she was gonna break up with me?!ā
At the frat? Was it the one Sunghoon had seen him with when he left the bathroom?
Truthfully, Sunghoon had been waiting for a text from you even though he knew it wouldnāt happen. After a week went by without hearing from you, he gave up on waiting.
Jake was up and running again in no time. He was the kind of person that could easily bounce back from adversities. He did admit, however, that he tried reaching out to you multiple times but never got a reply.
Sunghoon kept getting deja vu, but he couldn't quite put his finger on whatās so familiar āā until it clicked. Remnants of the night slowly started popping up again.
āWhat do you mean āI wonāt be there for you anymore?āā Sunghoon asked you on the curb.
You turn your head on your knees to face him now, āI mean, would I lose you for good if Jakeās not in the picture anymore?ā
Sunghoon didnāt know if he was absolutely plastered or if these words were actually coming out of your mouth right now.
āNo,ā Sunghoon shook his head, āNo you wonāt.ā
The corners of your mouth turn upward, āOkay.ā You stand up and brush off all the gravel from your clothes, āAre you going to be alright?ā
His eyes stay fixed on you, nodding.
āWell,ā you sigh, dusting your hands off, āI have to go back to the party. Text me, okay?ā
Sunghoon was even more confused now āā on top of already being drunk and overly emotional āā so he burst out in tears. He tried his hardest to keep the tears from spilling out but the floodgates just wouldnāt close.
It wasnāt even just the whole him, you, and Jake situation that caused this āā it was also all the emotions that he had been building up for years.
Being Park Sunghoon āā stuck-up, critical, nitpicky, and insufferable since birth āā was hard.Ā
āĖąæ
Sunghoon found himself stuck in a dilemma. On one hand, he has Jake, his best friend, and on the other hand he has you āā but he wants both.
It seems like an easy decision, right? Jakeās his best friend, so ultimately heās gotta kick the girl to the curb āā except Sunghoon doesnāt want just anyone, he wants you.Ā
He knew trying finding someone like you would be impossible.
It was truly a newfound feeling when he had experienced butterflies for the first time. Heās honestly never felt this deeply about a girl before.Ā
So what else can he do but text you when you ask him to? ā¦two weeks later after mustering up the courage to open up your messages on his phone.
SUNGHOON
Hey
How have you been?
YOU
hey!!!!
u finally texted me
iāve been good thanks for asking
Sunghoon taps his foot on the ground, biting his nails, thinking about what else he could say to you to keep the conversation going.
SUNGHOON
Thatās good
I know a lot has happened the past two weeks
You assume heās referring to you and Jake breaking up. The two of you havenāt seen each other since Alpha Epsilon Piās mixer.
Admittedly, the last conversation you had with Sunghoon really cleared a lot of the looming thoughts you had stuck in your brain.
Itās been two weeks since you broke up with Jake.
Itās also been two weeks since Sunghoon told you that you wouldnāt lose him for good.
YOU
yeaĀ
we should catch up
letās have a drink together like old times :))
āĖąæ
Like old times.
Sunghoon sat in a booth at his local university pub, just like he would last year. Waiting for you all the time.
In truth, Sunghoon couldnāt shake off the nerves of seeing you again after a while āā so to curb his anxiety he ordered two beers. One for you and one for himself. Well, at least thatās what he intended at first, but after he finished his bottle he still felt nervous so he drank āyours.ā
You arenāt even late to meet him, heās just way too early.
Ah fuck, he thought. If you still werenāt here and heād already drank his own beer and āyourā beer, and the two of you were meeting for drinks āā wouldnāt that suggest they were going to get multiple drinks?
Sunghoon covered his mouth, murmuring to himself silently, āOh my god, how drunk am I gonna get. I can't embarrass myselfā (Spoiler alert, he wasn't actually that drunk throughout the night, definitely just the placebo effect).
You actually arrive 10 minutes before your meeting time thinking youād be early, but you were surprised when you saw Sunghoon sipping beer by himself, āHey! Youāre really early.ā
āYeah,ā Sunghoon grins, āI guess you are too. How have you been?ā
You seat yourself on the other side of the booth, āWell,ā you sigh, āyou already know whatās been going on with me and Jake.ā
Sunghoon flinched at the mention of Jakeās name. Oh god, now he really was going to have a nervous breakdown. In the midst of this all, Sunghoon actually forgot about Jake in the equation.
Is it appropriate to be meeting his now ex-girlfriend for drinks? Like, just two of them? But wait, Sunghoon was friends with y/n way before him so would this be justified? Whatever, he needs a drink.
āUh, yeah. Sorry about that.ā
You figured you probably shouldn't have brought that up and sheepishly smiled, āWhy would you be sorry? Letās order some drinks!ā
After three more beers, a long island iced tea, and a mojito later, it was safe to say you and Sunghoon had all the alcohol courage you could get.
The two of you were laughing about, god knows what, for the past two hours āā but the topic of conversation never mattered between you and him. You could talk to him about anything.Ā
You stretch your arms up, āDo you think we should leave?ā you and Sunghoon turn to look around the pub and realize theyāre getting ready for closing.
Sunghoon ended up paying for all the drinks which made you feel giddy and thankful because your drinks were $15 each and you werenāt planning on going broke that night.
Outside of the pub, you and Sunghoon kept the laughter going. God, itās been so long since youāve hung out with him like this. You never realized how much you missed him.
āSoā¦ā Sunghoon drags out, āis this goodbye?ā
You fish for your phone in your purse to check the time, āWanna keep talking and have drinks at my place?ā
He smiles at you, gesturing to the sidewalk ahead, āLead the way Missy.ā
When you finally arrive at your apartment, you push the door open and welcome him in, āMy humble abode.ā
Sunghoon had never been to your apartment before. Back then he thought it would be creepy and invasive if he asked to hang out at yours instead. He always knew you were a nostalgic and sentimental person, but your apartment unit really personified it. You kept all of the cheerleading medals you had stacked up in high school years ago, your fridge filled with photos of you and your loved ones, you even had a pile of every birthday card youāve received in the corner of your desk.
Without meaning to, Sunghoon found himself meddling around your apartment inspecting everything you possessed. He wanted to know what you were like before he met you āā he wanted to know everything he could about you.
A finger taps on Sunghoonās shoulder making him jolt, āYou snooping around?ā you tease.
He stammers, āNoā sorry, Iā I was just curious.ā
You chuckle and walk towards the kitchen to grab some more drinks, āIām just kidding, Hoon.ā
Exactly like a loyal golden retriever would, he followed behind you quietly. You pass him a bottle of beer and take a sip of your seltzer. You prop yourself up the counter, legs lightly swinging from the ground, āSoā¦ā
In front of you, he puts a hand in his pocket and takes a swig of beer with the other, ā...soā he repeats.
At this point, the alcohol wore off from the walk back to yours. Both of you were the right amount of buzzed āā giggly drunk.
āBut seriously, how have you been? Like truthfully.ā you ask.
Sunghoon tries to think hard about it āā but heās always stuck to the same routine heās had for the past three years. He scratches the back of his neck, āI dunno, lifeās been the same as always. Wake up, eat, sleep, repeat all over again.ā
You tilt your head, āSame old Sunghoon, doesnāt it get tiring sometimes?ā
āWhat does? The routine?ā
āNo,ā you fiddle with your fingers, ābottling everything up.ā
Sunghoonās surprised by your answer. He wonders what makes you think that, āWhat do you mean?ā
You chug the remaining of your seltzer, āItās justā it seems like you had a lot on your plate recently.ā
At first, he wonders what youāre referring to. If he thinks hard about it, all he does is study, go to the gym, and play games. But when he finally realized what you were talking about he started getting flustered.
ā...are you asking me this because of the conversation we had three weeks ago?ā
He still remembers that night vividly. It had rained during the day, releasing the smell of petrichor and wet grass. The pavement hadnāt dried up yet where they stood āā he remembered because he kept his head down after Jake came to console you. He also remembers how he felt when he heard Jake come back from dropping you off. Straight guilt.
He laid in bed that night wondering what kind of ābest friendā he was to say all of those things to you as if you werenāt dating Jake then.Ā
But now heās standing in front of you, at your apartment, in your cramped kitchen, a little too close to each other.
ā...yeah, sorry,ā you apologize, āit seemed like you had a lot on your mind then.ā
Sunghoon steps a bit closer, slightly wedged in between your legs, āI did have a lot on my mind then.ā he confessed.
Not once breaking eye contact with you, he takes a final swig of his beer before he lightly places the empty bottle on the counter.
āWould you tell me if I asked?ā you let him slide in between your thighs.
He boxes you in when he places both hands on the counter beside you, āIād do anything you ask, y/n. You know that.ā
You could hear the water drip from the kitchen faucet with how quiet it was.
āWhat about now? Do you still have a lot on your mind?ā
Sunghoon pretends to ponder about it for a second before answering.
āYeah.ā
ā...what are you thinking about right now?ā
He only looks at you, fixing your hair before tucking a strand behind your ear.
āWhether this is a good idea or not.ā
Sunghoon slowly leans in, almost as if heās asking for permission before making a move āā and when you wrap your arms around his neck, he takes it as a green light and presses his lips against yours.
He thinks heās dreamt about this moment his entire university career; what it would be like kissing you. Well now he knows. He knows that your lips taste like the cherry chapstick you always wear, that you kiss him softly, and that you get all handsy while making out.Ā
You drag your hand gently down Sunghoonās chest and you assume he liked that considering you can feel him smiling on your lips.Ā
So you begin to outline his entire body. You trace your fingers along his jaw, the curvature of his abs, his biceps. You gently tug on his hair which elicits a small groan from him. Youāre everywhere, you were ravenous.
All that time back then, when youād pine over ice prince Park Sunghoon and throw hints at him here and there āā he never got the message though.Ā
But now youāre here, kissing Sunghoon, and you just canāt get enough āā and it seems like he canāt either.
Sunghoon caresses the outline of your waist, fingers slightly skimming up your skin, when he pulls away to pepper light kisses on your neck, āyou know,ā he mumbled, "I've been waiting for this moment ever since we first met.ā
A small moan escapes your lips when he starts licking behind your ear, āHoon,ā you breathe out, ā...do you want to go to my bedroom?ā
He swears he can see stars now from how lightheaded he feels right now. He canāt even process that whatās happening is actually happening.Ā
Is this real life?Ā
Instead of exchanging words, he lets his body talk, picking you up from the counter walking towards your room, where he lays you down with the utmost care āā like you were his most prized possession.Ā
Cautiously, he asks, āDo you really wannaā¦ā
āYes. I do.ā You shut him up with a kiss, fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. You knew he understood the memo when he pulled away to throw his shirt to the ground.
He falls back into you, moving his knee between your thighs when he cups your face to kiss you again. This time, itās messy, itās desperate. Sunghoon wants to explore every inch of you, learn how your mind works, what youāve experienced in life, what you havenāt, what you want to. He slides his tongue like heās going to devour you.
Slowly, he peeled off all your clothes one-by-one until youāre left in your undergarments. You wish you had known what your plans were gonna be tonight otherwise you wouldāve surely put on some better lingerie.
Sunghoon doesnāt give a fuck though, you were laying in front of him undressed and beautiful, how could he focus on something so miniscule when he has you all to himself? ā¦but he also didnāt care because itās going to come off anyways.
He unclasps your bra, exposing your bare chest. His kisses trailed from your throat all the way to your inner thighs. Now he was perched in between your legs next to your clothed pussy. He smirked when he saw how soaked your panties were, āYou get this wet for me?ā
You cover your eyes using your forearms out of embarrassment, āJust stop teasing, Hoon.ā
āHoon.ā
God he loved hearing you call him by that nickname, he could feel his dick getting impossibly hard in his boxers. Heās going to absolutely destroy you.
Sunghoon delicately took off your panties before spreading your legs wider. He could see the slick from your pussy drooling onto the sheets already, and he swore he almost moaned.
You bite your bottom lip when he starts to place light kisses onto your pussy. He dragged his tongue from your fluttering hole to your clit. Park Sunghoon was a starved, starved man. He attaches himself onto your clit. He works his tongue until he gets you moaning, and when heās decided he wants to hear you moan louder for him, he plunges two fingers in without warning.
Now he was knuckle deep inside of you, and those moans just kept escaping from your mouth, gradually getting louder and louder āā you pray you donāt get a noise complaint by the end of tonight. He pumps his fingers with vigor, eventually finding your most sensitive spot.Ā
Heās still lapping at your pussy while he massages your spongy G-spot. Sunghoon assumes heās doing a great job since your legs are shaking ā¦and also because you keep cheering him on like heās a D1 athlete, āFfffuckā¦ Hoonā Please justā donāt stop. Kākeep going!ā
When you start to thrash around he tightens his grip on your plush thigh, continuing to work his tongue and fingers inside of you. He could tell you were about to cum from the fact that your pussy kept pulsing while his fingers were in deep.
āWā Wait,ā You grab onto the sheets, āHoon wait, I thinkā I feel like Iām gonna pee.ā
āSo what? Just relax and let it out.ā
You do what he says, your juices coating his tongue. You watched him suck up every drop. The squelching sound was filthy, his fingers still scissoring you open. He brings himself up to lick at your neck while his fingers stay buried inside of your pussy, āYou like that?ā
What a freak.Ā
You never expected Park Sunghoon of all people acting this way in bed.
Your mouth drops open, nodding in agreement, āUh huhā¦ā Your breathing pattern still off from your last orgasm, āI fucking love it.ā
He sucks at your neck, āAtta girl,ā his fingers finally pull out of your cunt, dragging his hand up to one to fondle with one of your titties, āYou gonna let me fuck you then?ā
āPlease.ā
His lips curled into a devilish smirk, pulling out his cock out from his sweatpants. Teasingly, he raises his eyebrows at you, hand holding his cock āā silently curious about whether you could take the dick or not.
Saliva started pooling on the corners of your mouth and he hasnāt even fucked you yet. Sunghoon takes one good look at your swollen clit and puffy lips before he aligns himself at your entrance.
Youāre horny and throbbing, you can barely hold your patience while Sunghoon seems to look extremely entertained taunting you by slightly pushing the head in before pulling out. He grabs ahold of your hips, bringing you closer to him.Ā
You laid there biting your nails wondering if heās ever going to actually fuck you when he slides his cock inside your pussy inch-by-inch without warning. He starts thrusting in and out, grabbing your face to sloppily kiss you. All that drool youāve accumulated from your past orgasm had been licked clean from your mouth to your chin.Ā
Sunghoon was insatiable. He started kneading your titties, his dick still fucking you nice and open. You probably still donāt know that he hadnāt even put the entire thing in yet. He starts rolling your nipples in between his knuckles before pinching them āā bottoming out completely at the same time.
You just had to lay there and take it. Everything hurt but felt so good at the same time. You hear the schlick-schlick-schlicking sound coming from his dick relentlessly pounding into your drenched pussy.
āMmphf! Wait, Hoon it fā feels ssooā¦ good.ā You manage to whimper out.
He was inside so raw, so deep. You thought he was inside of you to the hilt, but when he pressed your thighs against your chest, he found a new angle and somehow managed to fuck you even deeper. You could feel his fat tip battering up against your cervix with every pump āā genuinely becoming scared at one point that his cock would slide into your womb. Your moans echoed throughout your apartment unit. It honestly sounds like pornstars having sex in here.
When Sunghoon felt your walls clamp down on his dick, he knew that you were about to cum soon. He began to really pound into you now, using his thumb to rub on your clit. It felt like he really did stretch you out. You look down at where the two of you connect and you cum at the sight of his cock plunging into you, forming a ring of milky white cum during the process.Ā
Sunghoon groans at how tight your pussy walls squeeze him in as he fucks you through your second orgasm. You were already so overstimulated; his pelvis rubbing against your sensitive clit, his cock deep inside you, your nipples being rolled and pinched. You couldnāt take it anymore.
Your whole body is quivering at this point and Sunghoon is still spearing you in half. You push at his chest, āWā Wait, hold on.ā
He pulls out and looks at you with a cocky smirk on his face, āWhatās wrong, baby? Canāt take the dick?ā
You pant out, āI justā¦ā You bring your hands to your legs, attempting to stop them from shaking, but itās no use, ā...I just need a second.ā
āYou tapping out?ā he tuts.
Despite having to take a quick breather, you quickly shake your head no.
You crawl towards him now, wrapping your warm hands on the base of his cock. He groans at your touch and revels in it. You lick the tip like itās candy.
You wait till he lets out a couple more groans before you finally wrap your lips around him and slowly slide his cock down deeper into your throat, stroking the rest with a hand.
A sense of satisfaction washed over you when you looked up to see Sunghoon with his hair tussled, head thrown back, mouth agape. It only pushed you to do more. You relax your throat to prepare for the intrusion, gliding his cock down lower and lower. Sunghoon gently grabs a fistful of your hair enough to keep his balance. All you could hear were his groans of pleasure.Ā
You try to keep all of him in your mouth for as long as you humanely could before pulling away from his shaft, sucking a big breath of fresh hair in.
You could see his eyes darken, āTurn around for me.ā
Confused but still compliant, you follow his orders and turn your back against him. He places his hand on your lower back, moving it up your spine to delicately push you back onto the bed. He grabs ahold of your hips, perching them up.
Now you were face down, ass up on your bed.Ā
Sunghoon smoothed the arch of your back with his calloused palm, finding its place at the nape of your neck. He growls lowly in your ear, āYou gonna be good for me?ā
āUh huh,ā you manage to get out.
He removes his hand at your neck, giving your ass a squeeze before entering inside you again. He hammers into you with the same drive and vigor, steadying your legs when he feels them start to tremor again.
You melt under his touch, the curve of his dick hitting that sensitive spot once again. The sound of your moans pushed him to go even further. He lands his two hands on the moons of your ass, spreading them wide open to see his wet dick pound into your dripping pussy, sliding deeper till he feels the resistance.
āAargh,ā he groans, swiping his thumb over the rim of your other hole.
āFuuuckā¦ā you whine out loud.
Sunghoon watches himself disappear in between your glistening pussy lips. The sheets beneath you two were pooled with your slick, you couldnāt control your moans anymore āā you knew you were about to give out and cum again any minute now.
Your pussy just squeezes him in right, he could keep fucking you all night. You push against him, fucking yourself on his cock when he starts laughing, āHow bad do you want it, baby?ā
You roll your hips on him, āI want itā¦ bad.ā you mewl.
He presses himself balls deep inside of you just to watch you struggle and grind on him to desperately reach your nth orgasm tonight. He caresses your asscheek when heās decided heās had enough fun watching you use him like a fuck toy.
Sunghoon starts thrusting into you again, slow and deep this time, jolting your body forward on the bed with each pump of his dick. When you feel him twitch inside of you, you knew his release was close āā his groans getting louder.
He starts pounding into you again relentlessly, feeling your gummy walls hugging him tight. You could feel him chasing his orgasm. His hand snakes its way to your lower stomach, brushing against the bulge of his bulbous cockhead before he presses down on it. The added pressure made your eyes roll back, gripping onto anything you could.
āHoonā¦ Iām gonnaā Iām gonna cum.ā you cry out.
āThen do it.ā
You let yourself go, cumming so hard on his cock, you swore you were about to blackout from the feeling of immense pleasure.
He fastens the speed of his thrusts; you feel them become messy and sloppier. You hear his breathing getting ragged when he pulls out, stroking himself as thick ropes of sticky, white, cum spill onto your ass. You lay still on the mattress, still panting when Sunghoon finishes milking out every drop of cum.
Sunghoon uses the back of his hand to wipe off the sweat dripping down his forehead, āWait,ā he breathes out, promptly leaving the room to come back with a towel. He cleans you up when you start chuckling out loud.
āWhatās so funny?ā he asks, moving your hair out of your face.
āNo, itās just I havenāt had good sex in a while.ā you giggle.
Confused, he asks, āWait but, havenāt youā¦ā
āMe and Jake never had sex.ā you confessed.
Sunghoonās eyes widened, āButā I heard youā¦ in his roomāā
āI have no idea what youāre talking about,ā you look at him, face puzzled, āMaybe we were watching a movie?ā
He decides to drop the topic and just be glad instead. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, āI wish Iād done something sooner.ā
Snug against his arms, you chirp, āWell, why didnāt you? I was throwing hints all the time!ā
Now Sunghoon didnāt know this, ā...what do you mean āthrowing hints?āā
You playfully slap against his chest, āFreshman and sophomore year I was waiting for you to make a move but you never did! So I just assumed you didnāt like me like that and tried to move onā¦ā
One thing about Sunghoon was: he wasnāt really good with social cues. He was always in his own little bubble doing his own thing. But now that he thinks about it, you were pretty obvious āā it just didnāt click to him back then.
The two of you ended up dozing off after talking for hours, and before you knew it, the sun was up again.
Both of you were awoken by a couple of hard knocks at your door.
Sunghoon yawns, āWhoās at your door this early?ā
Half-awake, you slip into some clothes you find scattered on the floor, āIām not sure, maybe a package I ordered?ā You rub your eyes, āThese FedEx guys always deliver packages so early.ā
You quickly leave the room to see whoās at your apartment door. While waiting, Sunghoon props himself up against your headboard, reaching for his phone. He placed a hand behind his head while he started scrolling through his missed notifications. For some reason, Sunghoon felt like he was forgetting something āā he wasnāt sure what.
Something was off, but he couldnāt quite pin what it was. Was he just being paranoid? He bagged the girl of his dreams, he just had amazing sex, and now heās waiting for you in your bed shirtless, boxers on.
He tries to run through his mental to-do list in his head: he already submitted his assignments, itās the weekend so he doesnāt have any classes, his rent isnāt due till next month, he did his laundry yesterday āā so why did he feel like he was forgetting something?
Sunghoon hears your voice echo throughout the apartment, āJake! What are you doing here?ā
Oh shit.
kay's note: r/amitheasshole which one of them do you think is the biggest asshole: sunghoon, jake, reader, or all of them, cause i was lowkey thinking about it myself but i'm not too sure either
ļ¹ļ¹ā ļ¹āāCASE CLOSE, OPEN HEART. āāė°ģ±ķ
synopsis: You always believed that Park Sunghoon will be a constant presence in your life. He's your childhood friend, your safe place and the one person who knew you better than anyone else. Until he left without a warning. Years later, after acheving your dream of becoming a lawyer, your world was flipped upside down when you find yourself working under him. Gone was the boy you once knew. Sunghoon is distant and unrecognizable, treating you nothing more than an employee. But as old memories resurface beneath your relationship, it became clear that some bonds and feelings were truly never left behind.
pairing: legal associate! park sunghoon x trainee solicitor! fem! reader.
content: childhood friends to lovers, lawyer au, office romance, resolved sexual tension, miscommunications, family issues, emotionally constipated +yearner sunghoon, jealousy, it gets hella worse before it gets slightly better, major angst with comfort, explicit mature content, belly bulge, mild breeding kink, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), inappropriate usage of tie, hair-pulling, pussy eating+fingering.
word count: 26.4k.
from author: finally done with this bad boy. this is dedicated to my other twin, my other half and the yin to my yang @lolliloopsy for wanting lawyer sunghoon. this is by far my favorite fic to and it got me listening to sabrina claudio nonstop too. the smut is actually unreadable im so sorry.
mini playlist: freak - doja cat, truth is - sabrina claudio, did we lose our minds - sabrina claudio, tell me what you want - sasha keable, sex with me - rihanna.
You remembered that fateful, memorable day like it had just happened recently. It was summer and during the brief three months break before classes resumed. Looking back at it, you should have known things weren't as what they seemed on the surface. You should have seen the obvious signs. All because you didn't look properly, even though he was beside you.
You were eighteen back then while your childhood friend was already nineteen. He's no longer a child but rather, a freshly new, pure young adult. Something he wasn't afraid of shoving it into your face the moment it was midnight. Park Sunghoon was nothing but filled with arrogance that never failed to make you wished you could knocked him down a few pegs.
"There you are! I've been looking everywhere!"
You looked up to see Sunghoon stopping before you. His expression faltered at the sight of your red, swollen and watery eyes along with your loud sniffling sounds and how you're biting on your bottom lip to stifle your cries. He sighed, stepping closer to sit on your right on the bench you're seated on. The boy wasted no time in pulling you close to him, allowing you to bury your head in his chest.
He lets you cried and sobbed like a newborn baby, not caring how you're soaking and staining his shirt with your fresh, salty tears. Sunghoon remained silent the entire time, patting your back with one hand while whispering comforting words into your ear. It took you about thirty minutes or so to calm down. When you did, you awkwardly pulled back and he withdrew his hand, resting it on his lap with his eyes scanning your face, searching for any sign of discomfort or lingering sadness.
"What happened?" He asked.
You stubbornly shook your head, keeping your lips sealed shut. Sunghoon sighed, reaching out to rest his hand on your left shoulder to give it an reassuring squeeze. An action that spoke volume.
"Come on, you know you can tell me anything," he gently coaxed you.
You sniffled, raising your hands but the boy was faster. He placed his right hand over yours, gingerly wiping the tears threatening to slip from your eyes. The way he does it was so gentle, loving and caring, like he's afraid of harming you. It's not what friends will do but that's a topic for another time. Perhaps when both of you are fully-grown adults then the elephant in the room will be addressed.
"..Do you think I'm ugly?" You managed to croak out, not having the courage to look him in the eyes.
Silence.
At the stretched silence, you raised your head, ready to change the topic, only for you to pause. You made eye contact with Sunghoon but what caught your attention was the way he looked at you. There was a mixture of emotionsādisbelief, pain and anger. Disbelief that you dared to utter those words out, right in front of him. Pain and anger because you chose to believe in someone's words.
Someone that's not him, who will do anything to turn that frown upside down.
"No, gods no," he quickly replied, now cupping your face in his hands.
His thumbs rested on the skin underneath your eyes. It took all of his self-restraint to not do something stupid that could potentially ruined your friendship. After all, Park Sunghoon is nothing but a hopeless fool who is head over heels for you. For a girl who had seen the worst and best of him. For a girl who had became a staple, permanent presence in his life.
He cleared his throat before speaking, features softeningāa habit he does whenever he's with you without him knowing.
"I don't know who's been telling you these lies, but they are wrong. They don't know how kind you are to the people around you. They don't know how you're selfless, always putting other people first rather than your own needs. They don't know how strong, sweet and loving you are."
Your eyes widened, lips parting slightly as he starts to ramble, letting out the pent-up feelings that were locked deep in his chest, imprinted in the back of his mind for a long, long time. You stared at him, rendered speechless.
"Sunghoon, Iā¦"
Your voice trailed off, ears and cheeks turning a light shade of red.
"I don't know what to say but thank you," you finished, flashing him a smile, a smile he returned without hesitation.
"Of course, angel. That's what friends are for."
You hummed. "We'll be friends forever, right?"
Sunghoon paused briefly, something unreadable flickered across his face but you didn't see it, too caught up in your own thoughts and the current moment. It was gone when he blinked and he smiled, pretending nothing happened while ignoring the lingering guilt residing in his stomach.
"Yeah, we'll be friends forever. You're my ride and die."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
āāæąØą§āæā
"Hello? Earth to (Name)? Anyone home?"
"Ow!"
You yelped when someone whacked your head, snapping you back to reality. You scowled when it's none other than your friend who's also your co-worker at the same timeāChoi Beomgyu. He held a rolled-up document in his right hand, looking down at you with his signature, infuriating smug grin that stretches across his face. Your left eyelid twitched, resisting the urge to leap across the table and strangle him to death.
"Jeez, stop glaring at me like that, lover girl. Just because you're working under Sungā"
Beomgyu didn't get to finish his sentence, not when someone purposely and roughly bumped his shoulder against him. You snorted at how he let out a startled yelp, body tilting to the left with his limbs flailing about, like a wild, frantic chicken. Thankfully, he didn't fall and managed to regain his balance, spinning on the spot to throw a traitorous glare to the third person, who slipped in soundlessly.
"Hey! What was that for!? You could've hurt this gorgeous face of mine!" He exclaimed, pointing at his own face and you groaned, making a fake gagging noise in the background and Beomgyu flipped you off without looking at you.
Lee Heeseungāanother close friend of yours, merely rolled his eyes and flashed the older man a flat, unimpressed look. "Shut up and get back to work, Gyu. Unless you want to work overtime again."
Both of you snickered in unison at the offended look Beomgyu threw at him, but he knew Heeseung was right. Which was why he turned, muttering a string of curses under his breath as he returned to his desk. Heeseung rolled his eyes before turning to you, with his signature smile now plastered on his face, the kind of smile used to impress his colleagues around him. Also the kind of smile used on simple-minded, hopeless women.
Not you though. Not when a certain someone had captured your heart a long time ago.
"Here's the documents you needed for your case," he said, raising his left hand over the wall of your cubicle, revealing a stack of papers, earning a groan from you.
"Ugh, shooting me with a gun would've hurt less," you complained, accepting them nonetheless as you placed it at the corner of your messy desk.
Heeseung clicked his tongue, shifting to rest both of his arms on the edge of the cubicle, looking down at you from where he stood. Amusement flickered across his doe-like eyes at your reaction. It's obvious he's having the time of his life watching you suffer, much to your annoyance. You would have said or do something, like to flip him off but you felt it before he even entered.
The temperature in the room dropped a notch. Even though the air conditioner was set at a tolerable twenty-four degrees, it felt like it was lowered to nineteen. The previous rounds of hushed murmurs and chatter vanished the moment he stepped into everyone's visions. To say he's a sight to behold would be the biggest understatement of the century.
Park Sunghoon walked in with measured steps, each one unhurried and controlled. His presence alone demanded for space and the room willingly gave it to him. It was either utter obedience or receiving his signature, cold and piercing gaze. A gaze that can sent even the most fearless man running with his invisible tail between his legs.
He's dressed in a perfectly tailored charcoal suit that fitted him well to the core, like it was made for no one else but just him alone. The sharp lines of his midnight blue blazer further accentuated his broad, firm and his oh so reliable shoulders. Shoulders that had been carrying the firm ever since his first day. The crisp white shirt beneath deeply contrasted against the dark tones. Not a single crease or a strand of hair seen or misplaced.
Everything was purely calculated and all according to plan.
His expression remained neutral. Either he was unaware or chose to ignore the effect he has on people. How conversations died mid-sentence. How the sound of fingers flying across keyboards came to an abrupt halt and how even the faint rustling of papers seemed to disappear into thin air. Everyone's eyes were immediately on him, whether they knew it or not.
Seeing himāyour childhood friend, the very same boy who never failed to make you feel at ease, to bring a smile on your face, to make you laughed until you were shedding tears, now replaced with someone who you barely knew anymore, did something to you. You felt like you were stabbed in the chest.
He felt familiar and unfamiliar at the same time and you didn't like that at all.
Sunghoon didn't stop walking, not sparing anyone his attentionānot that any of them were worthy of his attention in the first place. Heeseung had long scrambled back to his own desk, like the true traitor he is as he left you alone to fend for yourselfā
Until he stopped right in front of your desk.
It took all of you to not visibly flinched, to not show any ounce of reaction. Up close, he felt even colder and more unreachable, a feat you didn't think was possible in the first place. For a brief moment, he said nothing. His gaze settled on you, steady and unreadable, like he had became an expert in hiding his feelings.
"See me in my office."
His voice was low, even and authoritative. It's clear he didn't tell you to wait for your reaction. It's clear it wasn't a request. But rather, a demand. A command that you should obeyed, unless you're asking to get fired on the spot. Before you could processed it, he had turned away and walked off, like summoning you was nothing more than another mere, simple task on his to-do list.
It was only when his figure was out of sight was when everyone loosened up, heaving a sigh of relief in unison. Heeseung wasted no time in sliding his chair over to you. His cubicle was only situated on your right, allowing him to move over without any difficulties.
"Oh, you're definitely fucked," he muttered, clearly entertained with him absentmindedly spinning a pen with his left index and middle fingers.
You shot him a look. "Not helping."
"I wasn't trying to help though."
"Fuck you."
"No thank you. Bet you'd love to fuck Sungā"
"Heeseung!"
āāæąØą§āæā
After mentally preparing yourself for five minutes along with Heeseung being the helpful friend he is, by laughing at your predicament, you grabbed your trusty notebook that had been stained with tears and caffeine it's a miracle you were still able to use and your pen before leaving. You chose to ignore the "Good luck and don't die!" words Beomgyu shouted at your retreating figure.
Sunghoon's office was located on the other end of the thirty-fifth floor. Yes, the law firm you worked in has multiple floors with a total of seventy-five floors. You remembered you were stunned on your first day, openly gaping at everything around you as you entered, nearly making a fool of yourself by tripping over your feet more than three times in a single day.
You barely recalled nodding your head in acknowledgment at the series of greetings thrown your way from both men and women as they walked past you. You were too caught up in your own mind, many thoughts running through your mind at the speed of light until you sworn you were starting to feel light-headed.
Eventually, you arrived at a particular closed, opaque glass door with matte covering the bottom half and a sign hanging on it. The words stared back at you, like it was mocking you already, as if it knew the reason why you were summoned.
Park Sunghoon's Office.
"It'd be better if it's renamed as Satan's Hellhole instead," you muttered to yourself, wary enough to keep your voice down. You raised your right hand, now curled into a fist and knocked twice on it to announce your arrival.
Knock knock.
Sunghoon's eyes flicked up from his desktop screen, hands going stilled as he was in the middle of typing. One look at you made him nod his head and you entered once you were granted permission, gently closing the door behind him. It's pure instinct for you to clutch your notebook close to your chest in a vice-like grip until the edges crumped up due to your strength, like you want to blend into it, using it as a shield for whatever he had in store for you.
You chewed on your bottom lip, absentmindedly brushing your fingers against the edge of your notebook, unaware of how the man's eyes darkened a shade behind the rimless lenses of his rectangular-shaped glasses that rested perfectly on the bridge of his sharp, elegant nose. Gods, you never expected to see your childhood friend went from a easygoing, scrawny young teenager toā¦ whatever he is now.
That's a man right there, your brain unhelpfully chimed in before adding another sentence, a very fine man, to be exact.
To make yourself feel better, you visualized yourself beating the living lights out of your superior. The very same superior who is seated in front of you, known for being the most cold-hearted, unforgivable and someone who doesn't have any tolerance for anything. When one says anything, they really meant it.
An prime example would be when a poor young woman used to be in your position, only to be fired on her first day when she failed to follow-up with one of Sunghoon's clients. You didn't know much of the details, other than the very obvious fact that he was pissed. One thing about him is that he never raised his voice, which proved to make him all the more intimidating than he already was. He would have lost the trial if he didn't come up with something on the spot but despite his success, he was still enraged and ended up firing the woman.
Nothing more and nothing less.
Ahem.
You snapped back to reality, dryly and loudly swallowing when you noticed Sunghoon had been staring at you the entire time while you were busy imagining punching him, treating him like a punching bag and an outlet to release your pent-up stress and frustrations.
"Are you done daydreaming? If you are, then sit down," he said, voice firm and cold.
Your left eyebrow twitched, resisting the urge to snap, to yell or even better, to throw something at his face as you obliged, sitting on the opposite chair and placed your notebook and hands on your lap, hiding it from his sharp, observant and piercing gaze that never fails to send shivers down your spine.
"Why did you summon me?" You asked, surprisingly able to keep your voice even and steady despite how your fingers were already trembling.
Sunghoon arched his signature thick left eyebrow, like he was impressed by your audacity or stupidity. Or maybe it was both. Whatever it was, it seemed like you had made a wrong approach, with the way he leaned back into his seat, his eyes never leaving your face, catching every micro-expression you made.
"Simple. Because you screwed up."
You flinchedāa subtle motion that should go unnoticed by everyone. But not Sunghoon, not when it comes to you. You swallowed, clenching and unclenching your fingers, feeling your palms growing sweaty as every second passed. You didn't say anything and the man pressed on, using his words to push his knife deeper into your chest.
"Judging from the look on your face, you're clueless, aren't you? Fine, let me indulge you."
He paused, reaching for a file situated on the left corner of his desk. He flipped it opened with practiced ease before sliding it towards you. You leaned forward a little to get a clearer look, immediately finding the paragraphs familiar to you.
"Page twelve," he said.
Your hands moved before you knew it, your fingers brushing against the folder as you pulled it closer to you. You scanned the page, eyes darting over lines of text until they stopped. Your stomach dropped, feeling a pail of cold, freezing water being dumped over you from above.
"The clause is outdated. It contradicts the revised terms submitted last week. Terms you copied, if I recall correctly," he went on, observing you closely, like you're his prey that was hopelessly cornered with nowhere to run.
Your lips parted but you couldn't find your voice.
"Iā" You startled, faltering for a split second before you forced yourself to speak. "I must've overlookedā"
"You must've?" He echoed, voice and eyes hardening and yet, that same infuriating calmness of his never left his face. "You must've overlooked a critical amendment in a case file I asked you to review?"
You tightened your grip on the paper, teeth grinding down on one another.
"It was a minor section," you protested, despite how you knew he was right. He always was. "The overall argument still stands and make sense. It's not enough toā"
"Not enough?" He cuts you off for the second time, voice cold and firm, just enough to make you and your words feel insignificant. "Are you even hearing yourself?"
Silence.
Sunghoon leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk, his gaze locked onto yours with terrifying, chilling precision.
"In this firm, there's no such thing as minor. All it takes to dismantle an entire case is one oversight. One mistake is enough to question credibility. Or, do you think you're an exception?"
You narrowed your eyes, borderline scrunching the piece of paper in your hands. Sunghoon's eyes flicked down to the paper before meeting you again, his expression unreadable as always.
"I don't. But it's not like I intentionallyā"
"That doesn't matter," he interrupted.
As the saying goes, three times the charm. That was the third time he had cut you off and that too, was the final straw.
"I'm still new. Mistakes happen. It's not unreasonable to expectā"
"What? To be excused?" He smoothly finished for you.
You paused, unable to further defend yourself. Because that wasn't what you meant but in the end, it was exactly how it sounds like. Whether you liked it or not. Sunghoon lets his words lingered in the air, giving you both the chance and room to speak, to say something better, to fix the damage.
But you didn't. Or maybe, you simply couldn't.
"ā¦No, but I can fix it," you finally said, in a quieter voice but there was still a hint of defiance.
Something flickered in his expression but it was gone when he blinked. Sunghoon eyed you before leaning back into his chair, removing his elbows from the desk in the process.
"You will. You'll revise the entire section, cross-check every document and have it back on my desk before the end of the day."
Your eyes widened. "That'sā"
"(Name)."
The way he said your name, like it's a threat, a warning along with the utter firmness in his voice was enough to silence you. You clamped your lips shut, knowing there was no way for you to make him change his mind. You nodded, shoulders slumping and Sunghoon nodded, raising his hand to push his glasses up his nose.
"Good, you're dismissed. If I don't see it on my desk, you're fired," he finished, no longer giving you his attention as he returned to looking at his desktop.
You gritted your teeth, shooting up from your seat as you stomped out of his office. Manners and respect be dammed at this point. You needed to get out of there or you would've lost your temper, which could potentially cost you your job and the amount of blood, sweat and tears you've used to get to where you are today.
Baam!
You slammed his door shut with a loud, heavy force on the way out, not caring that it came off as rude or how you were gathering stares following you as you returned to your desk. You threw your notebook, pen and the folder onto the desk, not caring that the pen rolled off, falling onto the floor with a series of clattering sounds.
"Fuck," you cursed at the all-too familiar feeling of something warm and damp stinging your eyes, blurring your vision. The last thing you wanted was to have a breakdown at your desk, where anyone can walked in on you resisting the urge to cry right there and then.
You were so deep in your own thoughts that you didn't sense Heeseung's presence, who wheeled himself to your side, eyebrows furrowed with concern written all over his face.
"Hey, what happened?" He asked softly, reaching out to rest a hand on your left shoulder, watching as you shrink, avoiding looking at him.
You shook your head, teeth sinking into the meat of your bottom lip. "..Nothing, it's fine," you croaked out, your voice slightly hoarse and scratchy as you sniffled.
Your friend sighed, having known you long enough to be able to tell whether you're lying or not. "What did he say this time?"
You choked out a watery and broken laugh despite yourself, raising a hand to rub at your eyes, ignoring how you'd come to regret your decision later. "What did he not say this time? It's a miracle he didn't tell me off in front of everyone."
Heeseung frowned, lips pursed in a thin line. "(Name), maybe you should tell the management."
"And what? What do I tell them?" You retorted. "Tell them that oh hi, I want to make a report that working under Park Sunghoon, who was my childhood friend, is giving me lots of stress and because of him, I'm unable to perform well."
"Yes, butā"
"No, Heeseung. You don't get it, it's not as easy as you think. What do you think will happen after I tell them? You and I both know the management isn't gonna do shit. To them, Park Sunghoon is this fucking god and life savior for saving the firm when it was on the verges of collapsing," you continued, cutting him off.
The man stayed silent, mostly because of two things. Firstly, you are right and secondly, there wasn't much he can say to convince you. Not when you had made up your mind. But that doesn't mean he's not allowed to speak freely.
"Then just tell me this and I want you to answer me honestly: do you still like him?"
Silence.
"I don't," you started, the words coming out too quickly and too obvious. "I meanāwhy would I? After everything he did, after the way heā"
Your voice faltered. The knowing, pitiful look Heeseung gave only made you felt even worse. Because deep down, the both of you knew you were lying and you weren't telling the truth. A bitter, humorless laugh slipped from your lips, running a hand through your hair with your eyes turning glossy under the overhead lights.
"I hate him," you confessed, your gaze dropping to the floor or your shoes. "I hate the way he acts like I'm nothing. Like we're nothing. I hate how he left without a word, like I wasn't even worth a goodbye."
Your chest tightened, something sharp stabbing right through your heart, feeling the heavy weight settling on your shoulders the more you spoke.
"But most importantly, I hate how he looks at me nowā¦ like I'm just another person in the firm."
You paused for a few seconds, plucking up the remains of your non-existent courage, despite the fact both Heeseung and you already knew what you were planning to say. What kind of words that was ready to leave the tip of your tongue.
"But despite all of that, I still love him. I really do."
You let out a shaky exhale, shaking your head like you're able to deny it. If only it was that easy.
"I don't know why. It's been years. He's not the same person anymore. Anyone with eyes can see that. He'sā¦ not the Sunghoon I knew and maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm the problem, for wanting the old him to come back to me. And a part of me is still stuck in the past, still loving someone who doesn't exist anymore."
A pause.
Heeseung sighed, the sound itself speaks volume, speaking more than what his words could possibly carry.
"He doesn't deserve you, you know that? You're too good for him."
You weakly nodded, eyes getting unfocused. "I know, but I can't stop thinking about him."
āāæąØą§āæā
You chose to skip lunchāmuch to your two friends' disappointment as they wished you luck to which you waved it off but was internally grateful and spent the rest of the day slaving away on just one document. The one document that cost you your sanity and draining lifespan.
You pulled out the long list of references you used beforehand, cross-checking all of it more than three times. It's a miracle your eyes didn't get stuck in one place with how often you kept looking between two different pieces of papers. You type, delete, type and only for you to delete again. This cycle kept repeating itself as the hours dragged on.
You weren't even aware of your surroundingsāof how more and more people were packing up as they get ready to leave, of how the lights of their desks were turned off, leaving yours still on and how the silence was getting louder and louder until it's loud enough to drown out your thoughts. You found yourself entering the zone, now able to rework on it with full confidenceāa huge contrast to how you were a few hours ago.
When you were finally done, you leaned back into your chair and stretched your arms above your head, letting out a long, heavy groan as you cracked your fingers. The sound echoed loudly in the office and it was only when you bothered to check the time, was when you realized you had worked overtime.
Again. Not like it's anything new or shocking, considering the nature of your job.
You got up, groaning at your back paināa sign of your old age, even though you're still in your twenties. Swiping the folder off your messy, clustered desk, you wasted no time in making a beeline to Sunghoon's office. With how late it was, you were the final person to leave.
At least, that's what you thought.
You came to a stop when you noticed the lights in his office was still on from a far. At first, you assumed he must have forgotten to turn it off in his haste of leaving but it was gone when you now stood before his door. You didn't knock and he didn't see you yet, giving you a chance to see (or admire, like the closeted freak you are.) him in his current state.
His tie and blazer was gone with the top two black buttons of his now wrinkled white dress shirt unbuttoned, revealing his pale skin. You briefly remembered how there were baseless rumors when he first joined, with people wondering if he was a vampire in disguise, due to how pale he was. Sunghoon rested his chin on the palm of his left hand, his long and slender fingers curled over his mouth as he absentmindedly tapped his nose.
Whatever he was looking at has him deep in thought. His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes slightly narrowed with him reading whatever was reflected on the screen. His usual neat and tidy hair was slightly messed up, with random strands poking out in different directions. Some even fell forward, hanging over his eyes, acting like a shield.
The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing a delicious pair of arms that can make anyone drooled like a nasty dog. You swallowed, ripping your eyes away and looked up, nearly flinching on the spot when you made direct eye contact with him. For a moment, none of you looked away, seemingly entering a staring contest with you standing outside of his office and him seated by his desk.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and you took that as your cue to enter, pushing the door open while clutching the folder in your left hand. You stepped in, your footsteps muffled against the carpeted floor and you stopped before his desk. Your superior torn his gaze away from his desktop screen, looking at you with an unreadable, impassive look on his face.
"I assume you've finished it?" He asked, jumping straight to the point without beating around the bush.
You nodded, wordlessly handing the folder over to him. Sunghoon took it from your hand and flipped it open to read. The next few seconds of tense, thick silence felt like eternity. You shuffled your heels on the spot, curling and uncurling your fingers with your hands resting by your sides. You observed him the entire time, trying to read him but it was easier said than done. You had considered yourself as someone good in reading people via their body languages but when it comes to Sunghoon?
You got nothing.
After what felt like centuries when a solid seven minutes passed, he finally spoke up. He held the folder in his right hand, arms crossed across his chest. Every time he shifted or readjusted his position, it caused his muscles to move as wellāsomething you noticed almost immediately, much to your utter frustration.
"This is more acceptable than your previous work," he said, not praising nor insulting you. Just stating a fact, as simple as that.
Normally, you would retort with something snarky of your own but with how late it was, you were too exhausted to argue with him. You simply nodded, turning and was ready to leave when it's clear he wasn't going to say anything else. Only for him to call out your name, stopping you.
"Wait, I'll drive you home."
What?
"ā¦What?" You turned to him, eyes widening and mouth dropping slightly, dumbfounded, like you couldn't believed your own ears.
But Sunghoon was already moving. He shut down his desktop, slipped his glasses off in one fluid motion as he rose to his feet. He swiped his loose tie and blazer off the stand he hung them on, folding them over his left arm and grabbed his bag placed near his chair.
"I'm not taking no for an answer, (Name). It's already late and there isn't anymore buses or trains left. It'd be faster and safer if I just drive you," he pointed out.
You sighed, hating how he was right and obliged. You stepped out of his office, returning to your own desk. You quickly shut down your desktop, shoving your things into your bag and rushed over to regroup with Sunghoon, who was already waiting for one of the lifts to arrive.
There was some distance between you and himāroughly around fifteen centimeters. You busied yourself in checking your phone, catching up on the messages and notifications you didn't managed to read, not when you were busy typing like your life depended on it.
Ding!
The lift in front of you announced its arrival with a soft 'ding!' sound and the doors opened. The two of you entered with Sunghoon pressing on the B2 button before it closed. Faint classical, jazz music started playing, acting as white noise. You had unconsciously moved to stand in the right corner of the small, cramped space, wanting to be as far away as him from possible.
The silence thickened further as the lift came to a stop, doors opening to reveal the car park located at the second basement of the company. You followed Sunghoon as the man walked over to where his car was parkedāa sleek, obsidian-black Mercedes Benz S-Class sat under the dim lights. Its polished surface reflects the cold white glow from above.
He unlocked the car with a soft click, walking straight to the driver's seat without sparing you a glance. You hesitated for a second before moving to the passenger side, the door handle cool under your fingertips. The interior was just as pristine as the exteriorāblack leather, faint traces of a clean, subtle cologne lingering in the air.
All it took was a simple, gentle press of a button for the car to spring to life. The engine purred to life smoothly, barely making a sound as he pulled out of the lot. The city lights and everything else turned into a blur as he drove, slowly stepping down on the gas with the figure gradually increasing until he's driving at ninety kilometers per hour.
Music was playing from the radio as you looked out of the window, not wanting to look him in the eyes. It didn't help that Sunghoon knew your address by heartāsomething the younger him have very much proudly boasting at the top of his lungs. You dug your short, clean nails into your face, not caring by the fact that you're leaving indents behind.
You should say something. But what can you possibly say in such a tense, awkward situation? There were so many things you wanted to ask but whenever you opened your mouth, it was like your voice chose that moment to give up on you. There were many, many thoughts swirling around in your mind whenever you think back to the past.
How you could have had it all instead of what you're facing now.
Why did you leave without telling me? Am I not worth a text or a simple farewell? Why did you came back as a completely new person? Who are you now? What happened when you moved abroad?
Instead of asking any of those questionsāthe very same questions that had been lingering in the back of your mind for the past twenty plus years, the only word you managed to utter out was:
"Why?"
Sunghoon didn't react immediately nor did he even spared a glance, like you weren't worth his attention. You furrowed your eyebrows, now turning your head to him. You observed his side profileāhis sharp jawline that can make your fingers bleed if you were to trace it, his slightly cracked and dry lips that were pursed in a thin line with his eyes fixated on the highway road ahead of him.
His silence added more fuel to the growing fire residing deep in you and you pushed on, unable to hold it back anymore.
"Why did you leave without telling me?"
A few seconds of silence passed. For a moment, you thought he would ignore you again, how he will pretend he didn't hear you. But you caught the way his grip tightened on the steering wheel. A subtle action that if it was anyone else, they would have missed it.
But not you. You weren't anyone else.
"You're asking questions about something that has already happened," he said in a flat tone, like he was stating a simple, obvious fact.
You stared at him, rendered speechless before huffing out a incredulous laugh. Sunghoon made a turn to his right, exiting the highway as he entered a street you were familiar withāyou were reaching home.
"So that's it? You just leave, go off the grid for years and then come back like nothing happened? Is it wrong for me to care about you?"
His jaw muscles twitched faintly and as per always, he remained silent. And gods, his silence is starting to infuriate you further.
"You wouldn't understand," he replied after a beat, now in quieter and more distant tone.
You narrowed your eyes, fingers twitching with the urge to reach out and slapped him. "Then tell me! You can't expect me to understand when you refuse to say anything!"
The car came to a stop at a red light, the glow casting faint shadows across his face. And finally, he turned to look at you and you wished he didn't. Because there was nothing there. No warmth, no familiarity and gone was the boy you once knew by heart, soul and mind.
"I don't have to explain everything to you," he said, the words sharp and deliberate. Sharp enough for you to feel like you were slapped in the face, leaving a stinging, lingering pain behind.
You couldn't speak, staring at him. Your throat tightened, stomach curling and twisting into itself as he turned back to the road, stepping down on the gas when the light turned green. It's crystal clear the conversation has came to an end and you decided to drop it, not wanting to waste any more of your drained energy to argue with him.
The moment the car came to a stop outside your house, you were quick to jump out of the passenger side, unable to tolerate breathing in the same air as him. You grabbed your bag, slammed the door shut on purpose and stomped your way to your house with your house keys held in your left hand.
The door closed behind you and you tossed your bag onto the floor, not caring whether the content inside was damaged or not. You lowered yourself until you were in a squatting position, arms resting on your knees as you cried. You wept like a fresh new widow who lost her husband to the war when that was far from the truth.
You wept for someone who doesn't deserve your tears, time and attention. You wept for someone who no chose to move on from the past, facing the future with a brand new mindset. You wept for someone who could care less about you.
And if you spent the rest of the night sobbing your eyes out, then that's only for you to know and a secret to keep.
āāæąØą§āæā
"Welcome home, sir. Your brother and parents are waiting for you in the dining room," the head butler informed him, in lieu of a greeting, bowing at a sharp ninety-degrees with his gloved hands placed in front of him.
Sunghoon scowled, not bothering to conceal his dissatisfaction as he handed his blazer and tie to the butler, who promptly took it from his outstretched hand. He never liked coming back to a home occupied by his parents. It was always something to do with their long, rich heritage of the Park family in the business industry and how they are practically the backbone of most of the companies.
The man turned, heading to the flight of stairs that will lead to the second floor, having no intentions of meeting them, only to stop when someone called out his name, making him froze.
"Sunghoon."
Resisting the urge to outwardly roll his eyes, he turned to face his older brotherāPark Jongseong. He felt like he got shot right in the chest, something ugly curling itself around his heart at how the other man wasn't alone. There was another woman standing close to him, a woman with a very familiar face and someone who he knew for a while now.
He stiffly nodded his head to the woman, who returned it with a warm, polite smile as she bowed slightly, one hand on her chest.
"Sunghoon, it's been a while. How have you been?" She asked.
He sighed, moving to descend the flight of stairs until he's in front of the couple with some distance between them. Sunghoon's eyes darted down to the matching rings they worn before flicking up, swallowing the bile threatening to rise up his throat. His features softened slightlyāa rare side that only a selected percentage of people were able to see.
"I'm fine, just busy with work. You know how it is, Areum," he answered.
Areum nodded, her lips covered in a thin, glowing layer of lipgloss curled up in a faint smile. "I understand. I heard you've successfully closed a difficult case. Well done, as expected of Park Sunghoon."
Normally, if it was anyone else who uttered those words, they would've received a cold, piercing glare from him. But Areum was different. She's like the older sister Sunghoon never knew he needed. Someone reliable, mature and clear-headed. Well, there is his brother but between Jay and Areum, he often gravitated to the woman instead, mostly because she was much easier to talk to, as compared to the other, who never fails to take the chance to tease him endlessly.
He let out a light, soft and genuine chuckle. "Thanks, Areum. But it's not something worthy of praise."
And Jay being Jay, snorted from where he stood. "Damn, just take her compliment, would you? It's weird watching you acting all polite."
"Jay!"
Areum scolded her husband, reaching out to deliver a light but stinging smack to his shoulder, drawing a pained hiss from him. Sunghoon snickered, all smug and since he's younger than Jay, he playfully stuck his tongue outāacting like how they were when they were young. His brother resorted to scowling from where he stood while resisting the tempting urge to throw hands with his younger sibling.
Ahem.
Their brief playful moment was rudely interrupted by someone pointedly clearing their throat. The three turned to see it was none other than their father. The very same man who owns the estate they are currently standing in and the very same man who built an industry from nothing. People couldn't believed when they find out he's already in his early sixties due to his still youthful look. Unlike the usual man who's seen shaking hands with shareholders, wearing a warm and professional smile on his face, the man standing before his two sons is the real him.
His eyes jumped from one face to another before landing on Sunghoon's, who didn't flinch nor did he backed down from the sudden eye contact. Just like the younger man, his father had perfectly aced the art of mastering and concealing his emotions, not allowing anyone else to decipher how he truly feels.
"All of you, stop fooling around. You're not children anymore," he started, his voice deep, low and slightly rough around the edges and his gaze lingered longer than usual on Sunghoon.
Sunghoon sworn he saw something akin to frustration behind those pupils but it was gone when he blinked. Without waiting for their response, their father turned and headed to the dining room. The three of them took that as their cue to follow him, not wanting to further worsen his mood.
But then again, the man was always in a bad mood. Which gets even worse when he's around his family.
They eventually arrived at the dining room, which was just as imposing as the rest of the estateāspacious, pristine and formal. A long, polished rectangular-shaped table stretched across the center, its glossy surface reflecting the warm glow of the lights hanging from above. High-backed chairs were arranged with perfect symmetry, each one as uncomfortable as the other.
Everything was meticulously set. Fine porcelain plates, neatly folded linen napkins and silver cutlery aligned with exact precisionāuntouched, like it's for display purposes rather than anything else. The air felt still, heavy with an unspoken tension that no amount of luxury could softened.
Their mother sat on one of the chairs, allowing her to face the doorway as they entered, moving to take their respective seats without hesitation. Jay sat with Areum, occupying the two vacant chairs opposite of his mother while Sunghoon sat beside the older woman. The final chair that was placed at the head of the table belonged to none other than his father.
No one spoke a word for a few seconds before his father broke it, directing his focus and attention to Sunghoon.
"Sunghoon, you'll be getting married in four months."
The words landed without warning, like a bomb was dropped on him out of nowhere. There was no greetings or no small talks before they dived into the main dish. Sunghoon didn't react immediately, going as still as a statue. The only form of reaction he exerted was his fingers tightening against the table.
Beside him, his mother remained perfectly composed and unfazed, delicately lifting her glass of white wine, like they were discussing something as minor as the weather itself. His brother and wife, on the other hand, had the same reactions as Sunghoon. The couple shared a bewildered look and Jay shot Sunghoon a worried look, but the younger man didn't see it, staring at a random spot of the table.
His father continued, not caring about the storm of conflict happening in his mind. "The arrangements have been finalized. Her family are major shareholders of the company and it will be beneficial to both parties."
Sunghoon slowly exhaled through his nose, finally lifting his gaze to meet his father's. "I'm not interested."
The temperature in the room dropped, the air thickening further. His father's expression darkened, jaw tightening as he leaned back into his chair.
"You don't get to decide that."
"I'm not agreeing to this," his son replied calmly but firmly.
For a brief moment, something flickered in his father's eyes. It wasn't surprise but rather, it was irritation.
"No, you lost the right to make decisions for yourself the moment you strayed away from your responsibilities."
Sunghoon frowned but remained silent, knowing what his father was referring to.
"And we let it happened. Your mother and I were lenient, even when you've embarrassed this family, even when you refused to take over the company, forcing Jongseong to do it instead while you flew to another country. And all for what? To pursue something as trivial as law itself," the man went on, his voice sharpening the longer he spoke.
"We gave you years to correct. To redeem yourself. But it's clear you mistook that for freedom."
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes, clutching onto the utensils so tight until his knuckles turned white. It's a sheer miracle on its own that he didn't snap it into half with how strong his grip was.
"This marriage is the consequence of your actions. You will marry her and you will start acting in the best interest of this family. No more defiance and no more selfish decisions," his father finally ended, each word deliberate and as sharp as a knife.
It's clear the conversation has ended, with the finalized tone his father usedāthe kind of tone he used when he's standing in front of a board of directors in those meetings he kept attending. Sunghoon lowered his head, his bangs falling forward to shield his eyes as their private bulters and maids started serving them their food.
The previous tense dining room was now filled with the occasional clink-clanking of utensils against porcelain plates and bowls. Everyone ate while chatting among themselves. Everyone but Sunghoon. He has no appetite to eat, not after what he was just told. He hated how his mind constantly drifted back to a certain someone, how every time he looked at her, a part of him was tempted to apologize, to tell her how he felt nothing but utter remorse about everything.
About the way he treated her, brushing her and the rich-filled history they had aside, like it was nothing but mere memories. About how he didn't have a choice in the first place. About how he was forced to do this. It was either flying to another country or risked having his parents controlled his life, leaving him under the mercy of them.
And most importantly, about how he was scared to ruin everything if he were to confess the feelings he had been harboring for a long, long time.
āāæąØą§āæā
The weekend passed in a blink of an eye, much to every working adult's disappointment and it was Monday again. You paid your surroundings no mind, holding a cup of warm coffee you ordered from the cafe located opposite of the law firm as you entered the lift, getting squeezed to a corner with more and more people entering. You managed to alight at your designated floor but you barely managed to take more than ten steps before someone threw themself onto you.
"What the-!?" You exclaimed, nearly dropping your precious cup of coffee as you staggered, managing to catch your balance.
"(Name), you need to see this!"
Beomgyu said, ignoring the annoyed glare you threw his way. Before you could say anything, he had dragged you to his desk and Heeseung was already there, scrolling through his phone while eating his breakfast.
"What's up with him?" You asked, pointing at your other friend, who threw himself into his seat, opening the Internet browser and started typing something at rapid speed.
"I don't know, he texted me at six in the morning, telling me how I needs to see this as soon as possible. Dude didn't even bother answering my other questions," Heeseung replied after swallowing his mouthful of food.
You chuckled and took a slow sip of your hot coffee. Beomgyu took that moment to finally show you and Heeseung what was reflected on the screen. You moved closer, reading it over his shoulder. What you you didn't expect was to read the bold and large headline reflected on his desktop's screen, staring back at you, mocking and laughing at you.
The color drained from your face. You tuned out your surroundings until they were reduced to nothing but white noiseāthe murmurs of the people around you, the sound of footsteps back and forth, the sound of fingers flying across keyboards and the rustling of papers. The cup of coffee slipped from your loose grip, landing on the floor with a loud noise and the fragrant, brown liquid splattered everywhere.
Thankfully, your clothes were out of harm's way but the same couldn't be applied to your heels as some had landed on it. You hissed in pain when the hot liquid landed on your bare skin. Your friends were quick to jump into action. Beomgyu was quick to swipe the tissue box off his desk and handed it to you. You grabbed a few pieces, lifting your right leg to clean the coffee stains, watching as the pristine white tissues turned brown as it soaked up the liquid.
You did the same with your other leg while Heeseung picked up your now empty cup, disappearing to the pantry to toss it away before returning shortly with a mop and bucket that he had filled up with water. You were about to take the mop from him but the man shook his head.
"It's fine, I can do it," he waved you off before you could say a word.
Beomgyu rose to his feet, flashing you an apologetic look. "Shit, I'm sorry, (Name). Maybe I shouldn't have showed it to you."
You shook your head, flashing what you hoped was an reassuring smile to your friend. "You don't have to apologize, Gyu. I'll find out about it sooner or later so thanks for the heads-up."
The two men shared a quick glance. Beomgyu was about to say something when an unfamiliar, polite and unsure voice spoke up, gaining everyone's attention.
"Uh, hello? I'm looking for Park Sunghoon."
Who is she and why is she looking for him?
When you saw her, the first impression that came to your mind was how out of place she looked. Not in a bad way that makes her stood out like a sore thumb. It's different from the usual sharp, intimidating presence that fills the firm. There was a softness to her, something almost hesitant in the way she portrayed herself.
Her hair fell neatly past her shoulders in loose waves, a natural shade that framed her delicate features. Her eyes were sharp but right now, they were wide with uncertain and confusion, obviously lost while trying to locate her designated destination. She worn a cream-colored blouse tucked into a high-waisted skirt that fell just below her knees. The outfit was paired with modest heels, simple and refined.
But most importantly, it whispered quiet wealth rather than loudly announcing it to the world.
Before you could say anything or react, one of your colleagues had approached her. He was kind enough to show her the way, bringing her over to your superior's office. Your eyes tracked her movement until she was out of your sight, unaware of how you had even stopped breathing until Heeseung tapped your shoulder, a worried look on his face.
"You good?" He asked.
"Fine," you answered almost immediately, feeling your world tilting as you returned to your desk in a daze, ignoring how Heeseung called out your name.
You sat down, staring at your desktop and before you knew it, your limbs moved before your mind could processed it. You opened a tab on your Internet browser, typing something and tapped the enter button on your keyboard. You clicked on the first link you see, bringing you to an articleāthe very same article that Beomgyu showed earlier on.
The headline remained the same. The longer you stared at it, the more tempted you were to grab the nearest thing and throw it at the screen, as if that can magically wiped the article away from the Internet.
'Legal Prodigy Park Sunghoon Announces Engagement to Han Seo-yeon, Heiress to Major Shareholder FamilyāA Strategic Union That Shakes the Industry.'
You've never felt this much pain in your life where every time you inhaled, a part of your heart shattered. Where every time you think about him, tears welled up in your eyes and you have to swallow it down, the motion itself stiff, awkward and painful.
It's times like this where you get reminded that you may still be stuck in the past, replaying the memories over and over, like a broken cycle. But for Sunghoon, on the other hand, he had moved on, choosing to focus on the present and the future. Even if that meant getting engaged to a stranger with no intentions of telling you.
āāæąØą§āæā
Knock knock.
"Who is it?" Sunghoon asked, not lifting his gaze to the door as he continued reading the document laid out before himāthe very same document that you had gave it to him last Friday.
"A woman is here to look for you, sir. She said she's Seoyeon," his personal assistant informed him through the internal lines.
He paused when he heard her name. "Let her in."
"As you wish, sir."
Shortly after, the womanāSoyeon entered with a warm, friendly smile on her face. Sunghoon sighed, leaning back into his seat as she stood on opposite of him, with his desk acting as a barrier between them.
"What are you doing here? I thought we agreed for no public appearances unless it's necessary," he asked in a deflated tone.
The woman lightheartedly rolled her eyes as she sat down, elegantly crossing one leg over the other while placing her bag on her lap. "I know, but your father was very persistent in forcing me to make a surprise visit to your office. So, here I am."
He scoffed at the mention of his father, tapping his fingers on the polished surface of his desk. "Did you see the article?"
Soyeon nodded, pursing her lips covered in a shiny layer of lip-gloss, in a thin line. "Yeah, my parents must've been the ones to tell the press so they can release it without telling either of us. I'm sorry about that."
Sunghoon ran a hand through his fluffy, black hair as he let out a long, heavy sigh. Faint exhaustion can be seen in his eyes and across his face.
"It's not like they're willing to inform us beforehand."
The woman eyed him with an unreadable look before asking a question that made his blood ran cold. "I saw her just now. She's very pretty."
The man froze for a second, clearing his throat in an attempt to look composed. "Who are you talking about?"
She lets out a light laugh. "You know who, Sunghoon. I'm talking about (Name). I saw her earlier and it's not hard to notice her. She has that charm that draws you to her without you knowing. I think she saw the article too, judging from the horrified look on her face when she saw me."
Sunghoon tongued the inside of his left cheek and his jaw tightened. "Why are you telling me this?"
Soyeon sighed, her tone switching to a rather motherly tone, like he's her son who's still learning about the world. "Because it's obvious you like her. Anyone with eyes can see that."
He flinched, very much like a cat that got splashed with cold, freezing water. "You're imagining things."
"Right, and I'm the president of Seoul," she dryly retorted.
For the rare, few times in his life, the legal associate didn't know how to react nor what to say. He resorted to narrowing his eyes, scowling and sulking like a child. Soyeon chuckled and rose from her seat, now holding her bag in her right hand.
"Anyway, would you like to join me for lunch?" She proposed, looking at him with an eyebrow raised.
"I suppose, as long as it's not French cuisine again," he joked, rising to his full height while removing the glasses he worn, leaving it on the table as he grabbed his keys, phone and wallet from where the drawer underneath it.
Soyeon scoffed but the glimmer of amusement in her eyes said otherwise. "It's not my fault you're a man with no taste."
Sunghoon shot her an incredulous look, moving to open the door for her, allowing her to step out before he followed suit. "No taste? I'd like you to know I've dined in more than ten Michelin-Stars rated restaurants."
"Oh, is that so? Forgive me, my lord, for I must've struck a nerve," she sarcastically replied and Sunghoon chuckled.
Remembering something, Soyeon quickly slipped her hand into Sunghoon's right hand to intertwine their fingers together. The sudden contact and action made him glance at her from the corners of his eyes.
She flashed him a sympathetic, apologetic smile. "We're in public, so we have to sell it."
Something unreadable flickered across his face but it was gone when he blinked. He didn't like thisāthe arranged marriage they were put up with, how he's practically a pawn in whatever game both families are playing, being used like a tool. The two walked to the lift lobby together, hand in hand and his eyes automatically moved across the sea of people, searching for someone.
And he locked eyes with you.
You were at your desk, fingers poised over your keyboard while you were working on something that probably needs his attention whenever you're done. What made his heart tightened was how your eyes widened momentarily before returning to its usual size, how your eyes darted between his and Soyeon's face. He can practically imagined the loading logo floating on top of your head as you eventually connect the dots.
You were the first to break eye contact, snapping your head back to look at your screen, like you couldn't handle looking at him. Sunghoon dryly swallowed, allowing himself to be dragged by Soyeon as they entered the elevator that arrived at their floor.
If he has the ability to turn back time, he'd do it without hesitation. He'd do it to apologize, to amend the soon-to-be broken bridge between the two of you. And most importantly, to not be the reason for the amount of tears you've shed, especially when it's all because of him.
āāæąØą§āæā
"ā¦llo? Earth to lover girl? Anyone home?"
You blinked, snapping back to reality. "What?"
Beomgyu sighed, waving his chopsticks around in a circular motion, speaking after he swallowed his mouthful of food.
"You weren't listening, were you? Lemme guess, you were too busy thinking about that uptight superior of yours. Seriously, I don't get what you see in him. Sure, he's handsome but compare to this," he paused to gesture at his own face with a cocky, arrogant grin that made you and Heeseung rolled your eyes, "that's nothing."
Beside him was Heeseung, who rubbed the space between his eyes as he muttered a string of words under his breath, no doubt saying his prayers. The three of you were currently having lunch at a famous ramen restaurant near your firm. You wanted to turn down the offer at first but your friends were persistent.
They (more like Beomgyu) kept begging and begging until you gave in, having to shush them (Beomgyu) when they let out a triumphant shriek, which brought you to your current situation. You let out a sigh, stirring the noodles in your bowl. You didn't have an appetite and every time your mind went back to seeing the woman and Sunghoon, you felt the urge to vomit right there and then.
Heat crept up the back of your neck with your ears turning red and warm.
"I wasn't thinking about him," you weakly defended yourself but the looks both men sent you said otherwise.
"Right, and I'm the future president. You looked like you were about to faint when you saw her," Beomgyu (un)helpfully pointed out, letting out a pained yelp when Heeseung roughly elbowed him from the side, nearly sending him toppling out of his seat.
You placed your chopsticks down after forcing yourself to take another bite, swallowing it before answering him.
"What am I supposed to think? I didn't expect he'd do this," you confessed, like you were admitting to a sin you committed.
Beomgyu shared a quick glance with Heeseung before speaking up. Unlike before, his voice no longer carries the casual joking and teasing tone. But rather, he sounds seriousāan rare occurence that he only used when the time and situation called for it.
"(Name), I'm telling you this as a friend who's been with you for three years: you need to move on."
You visibly flinched, feeling like you were slapped right on your right cheek and getting an arrow directly shot into your chest. You looked down, staring at a random spot of the table as you avoided eye contact. Someone sighedāHeeseung. He reached out, placed his hand above yours and gave it a light, assuring squeeze. You lifted your head up at the action, meeting his doe-like eyes.
"Beomgyu's right. We've seen the effect Sunghoon has on you and we say this out of the goodness of our hearts, if you continue to live like thisāchoosing to stay in the past, trying to convince yourself or trying to defend him, then it'd only do you more harm than good," he explained in a soft tone, the kind of tone specially reserved when he's oh so gently giving advice to his colleagues.
"IāI wasn't defending him. I'm fine, I really am," you instinctively replied, trying to defend yourself.
The lie sounds hollow even to your own ears. Heeseung raised an eyebrow, never breaking eye contact as he tightened his grip on your hand.
"No, you're not."
Even though he's being gentle, it doesn't soften the blow at all. You furrowed your eyebrows, feeling a flicker of frustration breaking through your facade.
"You don't get to decide that for me."
"I'm not. I'm telling you what I see."
You stubbornly shook your head, withdrawing your hand, the contact feeling too much with his heat lingering behind. "Both of you are overthinking. He's my boss now. Of course things are gonna feel and be weird. That's all there is to it."
"You know that's not the truth," Beomgyu cut in, his tone still serious and unwavering from Heeseung's left side.
You made a frustrated sound, head snapping to him. "Alright, why are both of you acting like I'm some kind of mess? I'm doing my job just fine, aren't I?"
"That's not the point," Heeseung softly pointed out but there was something else behind it. Something heavier and something you didn't want to acknowledge.
"You can function. You show up, do your work, act like everything's normal," he paused for a second before he continued and honestly, what he said next made you felt like you were punched right in the stomach, "but the moment his name comes up, you fall apart."
You parted your lips, opening and closing but you couldn't say a thing. Not when he's right. Not when he's speaking the truth. Not when he has caught you red-handed.
Heeseung pressed on at your silence. "I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm saying this because I'm tired of watching you hurt yourself over someone who clearly doesn't care the way you do anymore."
"That's notā"
"Then what is it? Because from where we're standing, it looks like you're still holding onto someone who already let you go," he directly asked, not beating around the bush.
Your chest tightened, something twisting into itself painfully as you dropped your gaze to the table, defeated without knowing what else you can possibly say in a situation like this.
"I justā¦" You trailed off. "It's not that easy, alright? I'm trying. I really am."
"Nothing about love is ever easy," Beomgyu said, his voice softening now, nearly matching Heeseung's.
"We're not asking you to forget and get over him overnight. But you have to try. Really try. You have to stop giving him so much power over you," he continued and what he said next made your breath caught.
"You deserve someone better than him."
Your throat tightened, vision turning blurry around the corners. You rapidly blinked your eyes, trying to keep yourself together, trying not to burst out into tears, at a restaurant during lunchbreak with your friends sitting opposite of you. As much as you wanted to argue and to defend him, another part of you had finally gotten the closure you needed.
That they were right and maybe, just maybe, it is finally time for you to face the future with a brighter and clearer mind.
When lunch was over with you managing to finish your bowl of noodles, leaving the restaurant feeling lighter with your friends walking on both sides of you. Thankfully, no one bat an eye to your red, swollen and puffy eyes as you shrink into yourself, not wanting to gather any unwanted and unnecessary attention.
You returned to the firm, heading to your desk to grab a small pouch that holds your makeup and other necessities as you headed to the ladies to freshen up. What you didn't expect was for you to bump into someone that made you came to an abrupt halt, standing at the doorway. The woman stood before one of the mirrors, fixing her appearance when her eyes drifted to you, making eye contact via the mirror's surface.
"You must be (Name)," the woman said, her voice gentle and warm, eyes glimmering with something unreadable as she screwed the lid of her lipstick back on with an audible 'click' sound that echoed throughout the space.
You slowly nodded your head. "..Yeah, and you're Soyeon."
Sunghoon's fiance.
SheāSoyeon, made a sound of acknowledgment, turning around on the spot to face you. She crossed her arms, the nail polish on her nails seem to glow under the lights from above. You caught the way she scanned you from head toe, like she's searching for something. Maybe it's your weakness. Maybe it's the way you're dressed or how you carried yourself.
Whatever it was, she seemed pleased and satisfied, like she had found something she was looking for.
"Yes I am. I've heard a lot about you and it's a great pleasure to finally meet you," she said, pushing herself off the counter she was leaning on, approaching you with her right hand stretched out.
You accepted the unspoken offer of a handshake, out of politeness and nothing else. You pointedly ignored how you were able to feel the smooth, cool surface of the ring pressed against your fingers during the brief handshake, being the first to drop your hand while clutching onto your pouch, like it has some sort of ability to defend you from her.
"Only good things I hope," you replied, the words all awkward and stiff, like you've forgotten how to speak.
The other woman chuckled, cocking her head to the side. The movement caused her earrings to sway side to side. "Of course, Sunghoon couldn't stop talking about you."
That sentence caught you off-guard. You owlishly blinked your eyes, looking at her like she had spoken in a different language or she had grown another head.
"S-Sunghoon talks about me?" You squeaked out, your voice unnaturally rising an octave, your ears and cheeks turning red, feeling unusually warm.
This time, she couldn't hold back her laughter. She bent forward, hands clutching her sides as she laughedāthe sound was light, airy, full of joy and whimsical at its finest. You could only stare at her, not quite believing the woman standing right before you is the very same woman who's the daughter of a famous coupleācouple who are none other than the law firm's key shareholders.
Eventually, Soyeon calmed down, straightening herself as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.
"Whew, you should've seen the look on your face. That was funny, but yes. Believe it or not, he does talk about you. Although, talking would be an understatement," she said, something mischievous glinted in her eyes.
You were confused, wanting to ask her what she meant by that but the sound of approaching footsteps and hushed voices caught your attention. Hearing this, Soyeon steeled herself and flashed you a warm, friendly smile.
"I'll see you around, (Name). And trust me when I say this: you should talk to him."
And just like that, she walked out without waiting for your response, leaving you standing there, mind reeling from the conversation you just had. The only things you gained from her was more confusion and of course, more questions than before.
āāæąØą§āæā
Days stretched to weeks with everyone being busy and swamped away by their never-ending workload. It's one of the peak periods, which meant more time spent slaving away at their respective desks, more time staring at screens until a migraine starts forming. For a certain legal associate who goes by the name of Park Sunghoon, that meant dealing with more cases, ranging from solving easy, simple cases to encountering the most mind-blowing and baffling cases he had seen in his entire life.
Being a legal associate is hard work and it's also a position Sunghoon took pride in. However, the same couldn't be applied to his family. Or more specifically, his parents. He remembered the day it happenedāthe very same day where he made up his mind to toss everything aside. His family's reputation, his time spent studying something he clearly has no interest in and the amount of money poured into him, shaping him to be the next successor of the company.
The whole thing happened when Sunghoon was nineteen. Not too young to be considered a child but not too old to be considered a fully-grown, mature adult yet. The thought had been lingering in the back of his mind for a few days now. He hasn't told anyone yet, not even his own flesh and blood. He didn't know when was the appropriate time for him to tell his parents.
What he does know however, is they will definitely be against it. Against his sudden, abrupt decision. He can already foresee it in his mindātheir stupefied expressions followed by a mixture of feelingsābetrayal, horror and disbelief. Betrayal at the fact that he dared to turn his back against his family. Horror at the bold, unexpected move he pulled. Disbelief as they couldn't fathomed the thought of their very own son, daring to go against the long history of a Park refusing to take over the family's business.
Sunghoon had long packed his things, putting his clothes, things and everything else into his luggage and carry-on. He had booked the tickets behind his parents back, using his own money and will be flying off tomorrow, first thing in the morning. The boy stood at the foot of his bed, staring at his opened luggage with an unreadable look on his face. All that left was to tell his parents andā
"Sunghoon? What are you doing?"
His shoulders tensed at the sound of his older brother's voice. He looked over his shoulder, noting the bewildered look on his face, his wide eyes rapidly darting between the opened luggage and Sunghoon. He caught the moment Jay connected the dots, eyes widening further with his lips parting.
Jay closed the distance in no more than five large strides, invading his brother's invisible personal space. He gripped onto the front of Sunghoon's shirt in a vice-like grip, wrinkling the fabric in the process.
"Can you oh so kindly tell me why there's a luggage on your floor and why does it look like you're about to do something reckless?" Jay demanded, his voice low and serious with him barely able to hold himself back from doing something reckless.
Sunghoon remained silent, eyes averted to the side, having no intention of wanting to face his brother. Jay clenched his jaw at the other's prolonged silence, further brunching his shirt between his fingers.
"Park Sunghoon, you better give me a damn good reason why you're doing this or I'm punching you in the face," he warned him.
Sunghoon sighed, reluctantly turning to face Jay. "I'm flying to Australia tomorrow morning, to study law."
Silence.
Jay stared at him, blinking his eyes once. Twice and thrice before his words fully sank in. The grip on his shirt loosened, his hands dropping and returned to his sides.
"..You're leaving? Is it forever?" He asked.
Sunghoon shook his head. "No, it's just for five years and I'll come back once I graduated. I've already booked the flight tickets and managed to get a dorm to stay on campus. Don't worry about me, Jay-ah."
Jay barked out a loud, incredulous laugh, running a hand through his hair. "Don't worry about you? How can you expect me to stay calm when you didn't tell me until now? Why didn't you say a thing? I'm your older brother!"
Sunghoon scoffed and crossed his arms defensively. "And what about it? Not once have you stood up for me when Father kept forcing me to learn about business. You knew I have no interest in it! You knew my heart was never there in the first place!"
Every sentence he spoke, his voice grew louder and louder until he was hollering at the top of his lungs. It's clear as day that he had been harboring these feelings for a long, long timeāhow he truly felt as the second son of the esteemed Park Family. Jay, on the other hand, stood rooted to the ground, speechless and startled by his outburst. Sunghoon took his silence as the green light to keep going, the lid long removed.
"Every time we bumped into each other in college, you pretend to not see me. It's like I'm some sort of embarrassment to you! What's so embarrassing about wanting something different from someone else? Whenever Father kept pressuring me, telling me that I need to study hard to be as smart as you, I wanted to tell him, to hell with your stupid company! You only cared about your own futures while forcing your son to work away, like he's a tool."
Jay's eyes widened. This is his first time witnessing Sunghoon's pure, raw and unfiltered fury. "Sunghoon, Iā"
"No, you listen to me, hyung. I've tolerated him for eight years. Eight. Years. Eight years of listening to that man forcing me to do this and that, without caring what I truly wanted. Eight years of having to obey his words. It's either that or get disowned from the family."
He paused, letting out a humorless and shaky laugh. It's the kind of laughter that one does when they have lost all forms of hope and when they were being forced into a corner.
"So I decided to leave. I don't care if they are against it. I don't fucking care if they want to disown me. Let them do what they want. Nothing they say or do will stop me from pursuing my dreams," he ended his speech, voice firm and filled with firmness. The firmness of someone who had clearly made up his mind.
Silence.
Jay lets out a long, heavy sigh. His shoulders slumped in defeat with resignation written all over his face.
"ā¦You're right, I've been a horrible brother to you. I wasn't there when you needed me, too caught up in my own world. I should've stepped in the moment I saw Father's persistent attempts to mold you into the son he wants. The type of leader he wants. But Sunghoon, for what it's worth, I'm proud of you."
The second son frowned, confused. "About what?"
Jay's features softened, stepping closer to pull him into a bone-crushing hug. He rested his chin on Sunghoon's right shoulder with his arms tightly wrapped around the other boy's figure.
"For having the courage to throw everything aside and to chase after your dreams. I'm sure you'd succeed and just know that I'll always be proud to call you my brother."
To put it shortly, their parents didn't take his decision well to heartāwhich wasn't surprising in the slightest. The two of themāSunghoon and his father, argued like their lives depended on it. Hurtful words and creative insults were thrown at one another without hesitation. His father had the last word. What he said made the younger boy nearly see red.
"Fine. You can go but I want you to remember this for the rest of your lifeāwhatever you do next is not your own decision. It will be decided by me and you have no say in this."
It took all of Sunghoon's self-restraint to hold himself back from saying things he couldn't take back, simply turning to stomp out of the room, slamming the door shut on his way out. He didn't sleep that night, spending the rest of the hours tossing and turning while angrily shedding tears, staining his pillow.
Since his flight bounded to Australia is at seven in the morning, he needs to be at the airport by five latest. He left at three thirty, not wanting to spend another second or minute being under the same roof as his father. The entire house was fast asleepāthe way he wanted it to be when he leaves for his flight.
He managed to book an Uber and left for the airport with his house getting smaller and smaller until it was out of his sight. And from that day onward, Sunghoon's Father never viewed him with pride anymore. But rather, it was with disappointment and frustration.
"Huh, never thought I'd see you here."
Sunghoon snapped back to reality, pulled away from his train of thoughts when a familiar voice spoke to him. He straightened himself, looked over his shoulder to see someone standing behind him. Someone who he never thought he'd see again. Not when their last interaction was in Australia.
"Jake? What are you doing here?" He breathed out, confused to see his friend standing right before him in the flesh.
The two were assigned as roommates during their five years spent at law school. They clicked immediately. They are the same age, have lots of common interests and it was also thanks to Jake's help that Sunghoon was able to read, write and speak English fluently. Living in a country that's English-only does that to a foreigner. They also made jokes about how they were fated and meant to be, due to how close they grew.
"I'm on vacation and decided to fly to Seoul. Didn't expect to bump into you though."
Jake smiled, his face brightening up along with as he plopped down into the high stool on Sunghoon's right, turning it to face him with one elbow resting on the countertop. The two men are in a bar. There was a live performance happening right now, with a live band playingāthe jazz music they were playing does more than enough to set the mood.
The sounds of people chatting with one another, with the occasional glasses clinking and the sound of cutlery scrapping against the plates echoed in the air, making the bar sounds lively. Sunghoon is a frequent customer of this specific bar, to the point where the staff recognized him and already knew what his orders is with one look at his face.
It was close to nine when he entered the bar, mind lagging with his body starting to shut down after working overtime by spending hours reviewing documents followed by him preparing for a trial tomorrow. A trial for a very serious case, to be exact. Sunghoon sighed and Jake heard it, despite how their surroundings were loud.
"What's wrong man? You looked like you got dumped. I saw the news too," he said, pausing to wave the bartender over, placing his order in fluent Korean with a hint of Australian accent before continuing his sentence, "I didn't take you as the type to move on that quickly."
"It's not real," Sunghoon replied without missing a beat, staring at a random spot of the bar counter. He further elaborated when he felt Jake's inquistive gaze.
"What's not real? The marriage?"
He nods his head.
Jake remained silent as the bartender slide him his order, taking a sip from it before placing it back down on.
"What really happened, Sunghoon-ah? You know you can tell me anything," he asked in a softer tone, like he's talking to a stray, frightened cat he stumbled upon on the streets.
Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He absentmindedly caressed the sides of his shotglass.
"I didn't want to be like them, working in the business world and taking over my family's company. That's not what I want but my father refused to see it from my shoes. He didn't want my brother to take over, even though he has passion and interest in it. I, on the other hand, preferred to live in the world of law. I ended up going behind my parents' back, booking plane tickets and enrolling into a law school to fulfill my dreams of becoming a lawyer."
He paused, taking another swing of his alcohol, able to sense his friend's unwavering eyes on him the entire time. Sunghoon placed the now empty glass down, waving one of the staff over to refill it again. Jake noticed this, furrowing his eyebrows with faint disapproval written all over his face but he made no move to stop him. Not when it's clear the younger man needed this.
Once his shotglass was full, he wasted no time in downing it in one go for the second time, barely blinking against the strong taste of liquor going down his throat.
"I didn't tell anyone about my choice. Jay found out by accident and we argued. But he knew no matter what he says, he couldn't convinced me to rethink my decision. I ended up telling my parents and obviously it didn't went well. He ended up letting me go, as the tickets were booked. And thenā¦"
His voice trailed off, starting to zone out with brief memories of the fateful dinner playing in his mind. Jake reached out, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. The mere contact was enough to snap him out of his trance and he continued, shooting Jake a grateful look.
"And then, my father told me he had set me up for an arranged marriage. Her parents are major shareholders to the company, so the marriage will be helpful to everyone. Everyone except me," he sneered, the final word dripping with disdain that he didn't bother concealing.
Jake clicked his tongue. "Damn, that sucks. Thank god I'm not born into some uptight families." He paused when something hit him and his eyes widened slightly.
"Wait, if you're getting married soon, then what about her?" He questioned and Sunghoon knew who he's referring to, even without saying her name.
"There's nothing I can do anymore. She's just my trainee solicitor. Nothing more and nothing less," he retorted, words borderline slurring with his shotglass being refilled for the third time, to which he gulped it down without second thoughts.
"Yikes, that's harsh but is that what you want? To remain as her superior?" Jake pushed further.
Sunghoon side eyed him, the shotglass now being held in his left hand. "What are you trying to say?"
The previous, usual easygoing expression he had was gone, now replaced with something seriousāa rare sight for someone like Jake.
"I'm saying, you're being an idiot."
Silence.
Sunghoon scoffed, snapping his head forward. The abrupt motion made his mind spins and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut while fighting against the sudden dizziness before reopening them again.
"Watch your mouth."
"No, you shut up and listen to me," his friend fired back, voice growing firmer now. "I may not work in the same firm as you but I know you, Sunghoon. I know what you're doingāyou kept shutting her down, acting like she's just another employee, like she means nothing when she means everything to you."
He tightened his grip on his shotglass.
"I'm trying to protect her," he replied, but deep down, he knew that was nothing more than a pathetic lie and a weak, feeble excuse.
"Bullshit."
That one, singular word came out as sharp as a knife. Sunghoon glanced at him from the corner of his eyes but didn't say a thing.
Jake exhaled. "You can keep telling yourself that all you want but it doesn't change anything. Not for you and definitely not for her. What you're doing is a fucking coward move."
That got a reaction from him. Sunghoon's jaw muscle twitched, now gripping onto the shotglass while fighting against the urge to throw it at the wall.
"Sim Jaeyun, I'd watch my mouth if I were you," he warned him in a low tone.
"Why? Because I'm right? Because I struck a nerve?" Jake retorted, unfazed and showing no signs of backing down.
"You don't get to treat her like that just because things didn't go your way. She didn't do anything wrong, Sunghoon. If anything, she's the one who got screwed over when you left without a word, only to become someone she barely knew anymore, like you're nothing more than a stranger."
He remained silent, lips sealed shut but his silence was louder than any response. Jake softened, just a little though.
"Look, if you really don't feel anything towards her anymore, fine. Then act like a decent human being with some manners and give her the closure she needs. Talk to her. Tell her the truth."
Sunghoon looked away, choosing to look out of the windows instead. After all, that was easier said than done. If anything, he'd rather take the truth with him, even when he's on his deathbed.
"Don't just pretend she's nothing to you. Because whether you like it or not, she was something. And from the way you talked about her to that look in your eyes, something tells me you feel something towards her."
Jake paused, letting his words sink in before he speaks up again.
"You're getting married. Married. That's a lifelong bond you'll have and it's not with her. Do you think you can survive watching as she moved on, fall in love with someone else who isn't you?"
Sunghoon didn't respond, not wanting to think about that. The thought of you walking hand-in-hand with someone else, someone that's not him, looking at him with your smileāthe same fucking smile that never failed to make his heart melt while giving them that soft, tender and loving gaze, was enough for bile to rise in his throat.
He didn't respond, mostly because he couldn't find the words in him to describe the amount of frustration, insecurity and the huge conflict he had been holding for the past few years. But the way he downed the next shotāfaster than the rest, said more than enough.
āāæąØą§āæā
You were in the comfort of your couch while slurping instant noodles from a pot as you were catching up on one of your favorite shows when someone knocked on your door. It was faint, barely audible if not for the low volume of the show currently playing on the television. You froze, mouth opened, fork hanging in the air as you were about to take another bite of your noodles.
For a moment, you thought you were hearing things. You didn't move an inch and when it's quiet again, you shrugged it off and continued eatingā
Knock knock.
Only for it to happen again. This time, it's louder than before. You sighed, placing your pot on the low coffee table before you as you got up, groaning at the numbness in your toes. You headed to the door, making the mistake of not checking through the peephole, unlocked and opened it. Out of everyone you expected, you didn't expect it to be him.
But he's not alone.
"You don't know me but I know you-Wait, that sounds creepy," the man who's clearly struggling to keep Sunghoon standing upright spoke up, only to mumble to himself under his breath.
You were able to detect the faint Aussie accent in his voice and how he strangely resemblances a dog. Or more specifically, a golden retriever. You stood by the doorway, one hand on the doorknob with your eyes jumping from the two men's faces.
"What happened to him?"
You asked, pointing at Sunghoon whose obviously not alright, considering the evident Asian flush he has, his half-lidded, glossed over eyes and how he's half-leaning and half-stumbling on the spot while trying not to fall face-flat into the hard, solid ground or knocked his head against the doorframe. Although, you would pay good money to see that happen.
Not that you'd wished that on your superior. (Spoiler alert: you definitely would.)
The man had a sheepish look on his face. "He didn't want to listen to me and got drunk."
"I can see that. But why did you bring him here?" You deadpanned.
"Because he kept saying your name."
Silence.
Your breath caught, left fingers curling in on itself as it rested by your side. You stared at Sunghoon, watching as his usual cool, composed and collected demeanor was torn down, now replaced with him drunk, body swaying side to side on the spot. This wasn't the superior you're used to seeing at work, the man who kept pushing you away and never failed to remind you of your position.
No, this is just Park Sunghoon in all of his glory. The raw, unfiltered version of him that you've never seen before.
"..I think you got the wrong person," you ended up saying, grabbing onto any last hopes to push him away. Heeseung and Beomgyu's words echoed in your mindāa reminder and a gentle push to the direction you're supposed to go.
The man arched an eyebrow, pulling out a phoneāSunghoon's phone, from his own pocket and turned the screen around, showing the lockscreenāSunghoon's lockscreen. What you saw made the air left your lungs, like you were punched right in the guts.
It was you.
Not the current you, now employed and working in the law firm. But rather, the you eighteen years ago. The picture of you was taken with you mid-laughing, head slightly tilted back with your eyes crinkled in a way that made them disappeared completely. Sunlight hits your face at just the right angle, all soft and warm. It even managed to catch the stray, loose strands of your hair.
It wasn't a posed picture nor were you looking at the camera. Heck, you didn't even know it was taken.
"ā¦He took this," You whispered, more to yourself than anyone else.
Your fingers twitched at the side. A strange, unfamiliar feeling settled itself in the depths of your stomach as you stared at the screen. You vividly remembered the day crystal clear. It was an ordinary, regular day, just like any other day there is in the year. You spent the entire day with Sunghoonāfrom chasing one another, to going to playgrounds or parks to walking home together at the end of the day.
But the same couldn't be applied to him. Just because it was ordinary to you, it wasn't to him. The man observed your expression and reaction carefully, something sharp glimmered in his eyes.
"Yeah. He did."
You remained silent, mind spinning with what you just seen. None of this make sense. The man you once knewāthe one who looked at you like you were nothing, who spoke to you with tight politeness, drawing the lines between the two of you and occasionally being unreasonably harsh towards you, doesn't match this.
"Still think you're the wrong person?" The man asked in a gentle, knowing tone.
You parted your lips but couldn't find it in yourself to say a single word. Instead, you opened the door wider, moving to the side to give them space.
"..Come in."
The manāwho goes by Jake, left after he set Sunghoon down on the couch. His annoyingly long legs nearly knocked your pot of noodles down to the floor if you didn't move it out of the way in the nick of time. And now, here you areāat eleven on what was supposed to be a peaceful Friday night for you to wind down from work, resulted in you getting an unexpected guest.
The guest being none other than Park Sunghoon himself.
It's clear he passed out the moment his head touched the cushion of the couch, falling asleep right there and then while remaining blissfully unaware of his surroundings or the fact that he wasn't in his own house. You stood by the foot of the couch, your show long forgotten as you looked down at the man in pure exasperation.
"Great, what do I do now?" You muttered under your breath, running a hand through your hair, your brain struggling to think of your next move.
You left the living room, shortly returning afterwards with a damp towel held in your hands and a stack of neatly-folded oversize clothes. You moved closer, now standing closer to him as you bend over from your hips, reaching out to gently dap the towel on his faceāan attempt to clean him up. He didn't stir much, allowing you to do as you pleasedāmuch to your relief.
However, the relief didn't last long. When you moved the towel down to his neck, the fabric grazing against his sharp, precise jawline, he reacted. One moment you were on your knees. The next moment, you were being pulled upward. You let out a startled yelp, your vision turning sideways as the towel fell from your grip.
You let out a strangled "oof" when your face was awkwardly squashed into his neck with his arms securely wrapped around your figure, locking you in place as he hugged you, like a koala bear clinging onto its mother. Your hands were poised awkwardly in the air, like you're uncertain if you're allowed to touch him or not despite how Sunghoon is literally hugging you like there's no tomorrow.
Your mind blanked out when he pulled you closer, if that's even possible in the first place as he groaned, furrowing his eyebrows, like he's having a nightmare. You moved your head away as you placed one hand on the armrest of the couch while the other on the back, pushing yourself up with your knees on both sides of his thighs.
Your face was bright red when realization hits you at the ratherā¦ scandalous position you're in. It's almost like you're about to riā
"No, this is fucking stupid. Get a grip of yourself," you muttered, wildly shaking your head side to side to get rid of any unwanted, distracting thoughts in your mind.
You picked up the towel, ready to walk away when Sunghoon's hand shot out to grab your wrist. Your shoulders tensed at the mere contact, freezing on the spot. You didn't dare to look at him, not wanting to see him wide awake and looking at you. And despite that, you decided to risk it and sneak a quick peak over your shoulder, only for you to heave a sigh of relief when you're greeted with the sight of Sunghoon sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed.
You reached out with your free, clean and dry hand, ready to pry his hand away from your wrist when you saw his lips moved, almost like he was saying something. Curiosity getting the better of you, you inched closer, bending forward a little to hear him better and thenā
"ā¦Don't goā¦"
The words were barely audible, all slurred, fragile and weak, like they will shattered with just one simple push. You went as still as a statue, breath hitching and your heart did a somersault when his grip on your wrist tightened, just slightly, like he's afraid you might slipped away from him, even when he's asleep.
"ā¦Justā¦ stayā¦ a little longerā¦"
What?
Your heart stuttered. It stopped beating for a moment when you fully registered the words he whispered. You knew he was merely talking in his sleepāsomething anyone can do. And besides, he's drunk. But as the saying goes, 'drunk words are sober thoughts', you hated how a small part of you felt hopefulāsomething you haven't felt for a long time.
"Iā¦I didn't mean toā¦" He murmured, furrowing his thick eyebrows slightly, too deep into whatever dream he was having. "I thoughtā¦ it'd be easier for you if I justā¦"
His voice and words trailed off, uncertainty seeping into them. You hated how you were waiting with bated breath, anticipation pumping through your veins, dying to know what he was planning to say next.
"..I still miss youā¦"
The silence that followed afterwards was heavy, thick and deafening. You couldn't hear anything else, other than your own loud, rapid beating of your heart that seems to echo throughout the four walls of your living room.
And just like that, everything you tried so hard to bury, to ignore and to convince yourself that the past doesn't matter anymore. Especially when you were about to embark on a journey, to start the slow, long-term process of moving on. All of it was washed down the drain and you've never been this conflicted in your entire life.
āāæąØą§āæā
What the? Where am I?
Sunghoon woke up to find himself laying on a couch that was too small for him. He looked around, noting the unfamiliar but familiar walls. The man pushed himself up, only to hiss when his head spins, causing him to stop as he clutched the side of his head, only shifting when the giddiness stopped. He sat up, groaning at the lingering backache from the uncomfortable position he slept in and it then hit him.
He's in your house.
"What the fuck happened?"
He murmured to himself, trying to recall the series of events leading to this but he came up empty. No matter how much he tried to think back, all he got was a blank space, hitting the dead end. Sunghoon clicked his tongue, annoyed at the wide gap in his memory. Before he could ponder over it, he heard the sound of soft footsteps coming from his right.
His muscles tensed up, already knowing who it was without looking back.
"Oh, you're up. How are you feeling?" You asked, acting like everything's perfectly fine and dandy when it's far from normal.
Sunghoon swallowed, clearing his throat as he pointedly faced the front, staring at the outline of his figure reflected on the blank television screen before him. "Better now, still have a slight hangover but I'd get over it. I should get going."
He hurriedly said the last sentence, not wanting to make you anymore uncomfortable. Or maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to give you the wrong idea. The wrong idea that there's something between the two of you. If he listened closely, he can imagine Jake going off at him again, probably telling him off about how stupid he is but he quickly shoved his friend out of the window.
You stopped, now entering his sights and you slowly turned on the spot to face him. His eyes flicked to your direction, only for him to do a double-take when he realized you had dressed up more than usual. Even more than you during working hours. Sunghoon couldn't helped with the way he scanned you from head to toe with his eyes, taking in your figure, forgoing the thought of being subtle.
You worn a soft, form-fitting dress in a muted pastel shade that complemented your figure perfectly, the fabric hugging your waist before elegantly falling to just above your knees. The neckline was modest but the way it framed your collarbones along with a silver necklace resting just above, drew attention without trying.
A light cardigan loosely hung off your shoulders, sleeves pushed up to your arms, giving you a soft and almost effortless look. Your heels were simple, not too high or low but enough to add a hint of confidence from where you stood. Your hair wasn't how it was at work and one look was enough to tell him that you had styled it, with soft waves framing your face, catching the light whenever you moved.
It makes you lookedā¦
Sunghoon swallowed for the second time.
Stunning.
There was no other word for it and he hated how the thought immediately came to him. He's so caught-up in his mini staring game that he wasn't aware you had noticed it. Noticed how his gaze lingered longer than usual. Noticed how his eyes kept flicking down to your lips. Lips that were covered in a noticeable, glossy shade of lip-gloss. Lips that looked kissable.
To be more specific, lips that he wants to kiss.
You frowned at the prolonged silence and how he kept staring at you. "Is there something wrong?"
No. Yes. You look beautiful. Stay here with me. I'm sorry for how I've treated you. Please come back to me.
Instead of saying any of those sentences, he asked a question instead, with the words slipping from his mouth before his still half-asleep brain could processed it.
"Where are you going?"
Silence.
Sunghoon internally cursed at himself the moment it slipped. You paused, body already angled towards the door, only to freeze when his voice pierced through the silence. You looked over your shoulder, confusion written all over your face. And gods, he desperately wished he can just get up, closed the distance and kissed you until you're gasping for air, until you're begging for him and until you didn't want to leave anymore.
But he held himself back, which proved to be a difficult task for someone who always keep his cool. Not when it comes to you though.
"Uh, I'm going out. Why?"
"With who?"
Not when you're dressed like that. Dressed like you're the main character and how you're gonna draw attention from everyone. Everyone who's not me.
He saw the way you narrowed your eyes and how you ran your thumb over your knucklesāsomething you do when you managed to pick up something about him. Up to now, it felt like you have some sort of hidden, secret ability to read his thoughts. Like you're a mind-reader and honestly, if you truly were, it will make his life so much easierānot that he'd dare to say it out loud.
"Why are you asking?" You fired back with a question of your own.
Sunghoon stubbornly remained silentāhis signature move and you scoffed, making a show of rolling your eyes.
"I'm going out with Heeseung. We're gonna have lunch."
The moment those words left your mouth, something in the air shifted. It was small but it was unmistakable. The air thickened, so thick that one can sliced it apart with a mere butter knife. His eyes darkened a shade, now resting his elbows on his thighs with his legs spread slightly. He intertwined his fingers togetherāto prevent himself from doing something as reckless as kissing you right there and then.
He exhaled through his nose and looked to the side. "Right. Of course."
Even though he muttered it under his breath, you caught it. Of course you did. You swallowed the sudden rise of irritation that shot up when you heard his words. You crossed your arms, tapping your fingers on your arms while boring holes into his head. If looks could kill, he would've died on the spot.
"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked, sounding defensive but you couldn't help it.
"Nothing," he snapped, his tone cold and harshāexactly how he sounds like in the office.
In a poor, feeble attempt to distract himself, Sunghoon stood up and ran a hand through his messy hair. He looked everywhere but you, like it's painful for him for his eyes to land on you. And to him, it is painful. Painful that you actually put in effort to meet someone. Most importantly, it's another man. He knows you and Heeseung are close, often seeing the two of you hanging out together whenever Beomgyu was too busy with work.
He remembered watching from wherever he was with a tight jaw, a vice-like grip until his knuckles were turning white, as you conversed with Heeseung. Sunghoon couldn't do anything but to watch, like a bystander, as someone made you laughed until you were shedding tears, until you were gasping and wheezing for breath, until your entire face lits up the entire roomā
"I wasn't aware you have plans," he added after a moment, his tone forced into something neutral but the tightness in his voice gave it away.
You didn't catch it, too busy trying not to lose your mind at how weird he's acting. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know I'm supposed to report my schedule outside of work to you."
It's clear you were being sarcastic and honestly, you weren't in the wrong. Sunghoon looked out of the window, noting how blue the sky looks today. He hated how his heart tightened with ache at your bluntess, at how you didn't hesitate to stand your ground. But that was one of the many things he loved about you.
"..Right."
He said quietly and he should stop there. Should let you get going but there was another part of him. Another small, selfish part that wants to keep you here, in the same room as him, as long as possible. Forget Heeseung.
"And you dressed up for that?"
A wave of regret hits him immediately after that. He should say something but it was too late. The damage was already done. You gawked at him, mouth wide open with a mixture of emotions written all over your faceāanger, frustration and most importantly, disbelief.
Sunghoon sank his teeth into his bottom lip, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants to hide how he had curled them into tight fists, actively restraining himself.
"What the fuck are you trying to say? God forbid me from wanting to dress up. It's not like we're going on a date," you retorted, shoulders trembling in rage with the flames gradually rising.
Sunghoon glanced at you from the corner of his eyes and looked away. "..Whatever, it's none of my business. Go on. I won't hold you back any longer. I can see myself out."
You stared at him, rendered speechless with his rude, cold behavior.
"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you!? You should be grateful that I even let you into my house in the first place. If not for Jake, you would've been lying on the streets. But since you don't care about anything other than work and that fiance of yours, what else do I really have to say?"
You sneered, pausing for a second to let the words sink in before you continued, practically spatting them out, like the words are nothing but toxic venom. And Sunghoon can feel your hatred just from those words alone.
"This is the last time we'd be seeing one another out of work. Never ever try and talk to me again. Good fucking bye, Park Sunghoon. You're a fucking asshole and I hope you know that."
You didn't wait for his response, spinning to stomp out of your house, aggressively slamming the door shut with a loud, ferocious force that it's a miracle it's still attached to the hinges. Once you were gone, Sunghoon collapsed into the couch. He covered his face with his hands and groaned, the sound muffled and full of nothing but pure agony.
"What have I done?"
āāæąØą§āæā
You started avoiding Sunghoon ever since then but it was easier said than done. The fact that you're working in the same firm is one thing. But the other fact that you directly report to him is another different thing. However, you weren't blind to notice the small but gradual changes about him.
One good example will be when you were pulling another all-nighter, trying to read through the countless and seemingly never-ending case files spread out before your desk. Sunghoon had accepted a case but unlike any other cases, this was probably the most baffling case you laid your eyes on in your entire life.
At first glance, it was simpleājust another hit-and-run case. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. It was thanks to Sunghoon who discovered something was amiss when he read through the report, constantly replaying the CCTV footage he managed to get a hold on, again and again like a broken cycle and that's when it hits him.
"Your report is missing something," he spoke up out of the blue.
After sitting in silence for the past few hours or so in Sunghoon's office, you jerked in your seat when he said that sentence, horribly catching you off-guard. It didn't help that you were exhausted as well, fighting the urge to fall asleep right there and then.
"What is?" You asked, confused.
"The accident was reported at 11.42pm but she passed the intersection at 11.39pm."
You blinked, still not following along. You watched as Sunghoon grabbed a pen and flipped the document to the other end, writing down the timestamps in neat, precise strokes. You had to wheel your chair towards his desk to get a closer look.
"There's a three minutes difference. That's barely enough time for impact, panic and escape, especially on a road with traffic lights and cameras."
Your eyes widened when you started to connect the dots. "ā¦Unless she didn't stop."
"She would've had to slow down at the junction, no matter what," he pointed out.
"So the timeline is off," you concluded.
Sunghoon nodded in agreement, locking eyes with you. "Yes, and that it's done by someone else."
For some reason, you didn't look away from him, like you were having your own momentājust like those moments shared between the two leads in a Kdrama. Time seemed to slow down with everything coming to a stop. You caught the way his eyes flicked down to your parted lips. For a split second, you thought he was about to do something reckless but instead, he broke eye contact and pointedly cleared his throat.
"Let's stop here for today. I'll drop you off since it's late," he said, voice tense.
You mutely nodded, moving to pack your things while replaying the brief moment you had in your mind. You weren't sure why but maybe it was the way he looked at you. Maybe it was that certain look in his eyes. Whatever the actual reason was, you couldn't put a finger on it and you shrugged it off, not wanting to think twice about it.
What you didn't know however, was that was just the start. The start of Sunghoon attempting to redeem himself.
āāæąØą§āæā
Another example happened one week later, after the trial was successful in Sunghoon's favor. The clientāa woman, was on cloud nine, profusely thanking him and you for saving her life. You had to swallow the sudden surge of irritation when the woman boldly embraced him while shedding happy tears. You knew the gesture doesn't mean anything and how she did it out of pure gratitude.
But that doesn't mean you were blind to how something ugly made itself known as it curled around your heart before sinking its claws in. Something painfully similar to jealousy.
You're being stupid. Why are you getting jealous? It's not like you're his fucking girlfriend.
You shook your head to clear your mind of the distracting thoughts, not wanting it to further ruin or dampen your mood. You felt something sharp being lodged deep in your heart when she rested her hand on his arm, fingers spread out, like she wants to touch more of him. The last straw comes in the form of her stepping closer, invading his invisible personal space and how he stiffenedāa subtle move that didn't went unnoticed by you, made you stepped forward.
"Excuse me, Mam, we have somewhere else to be, so if you could excuse us," you loudly said, gathering the attention of the people around you as they looked at you with matching curious stares.
You smoothly inserted yourself in between the woman and Sunghoon. To anyone else, it would be an amusing sightāfor you're shorter than your superior and compared to himāsomeone who often goes to the gym twice per week, he gives off the appearance of someone who knows how to handle himself. You didn't turn around to face him, already able to visualize his surprise with how you rescued him.
The woman was stunned, owlishly blinking her eyes a few times, evidently flustered. She then lets out a strangled, forced laughter, pretending everything was fine when it's not.
"Oh, right, sorry about that. If that's the case, then I won't keep you waiting," she said, bowing slightly before excusing herself, walking away with her face bright red in shame.
You spun around, glaring at Sunghoon and scoffed when you made eye contact. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"
Like the way you used to, back when we were kids.
Your lips remained sealed shut, not wanting nor having the courage to utter those words out loud.
"..Forget it, let's go. We have another case on our hands," you muttered, walking past him with him easily matching your pace. Even when you refused to glance at him, you can feel the intensity of his firm, unwavering gaze.
Maybe it was the trick of the light or maybe your vision is starting to deteriorate but you sworn you saw something akin to softness when you risked a glance at him as both of you walked side by side. If Sunghoon stepped closer until the fabric of your blazers brushed against one another and how you didn't step away, then that was your secret to keep.
āāæąØą§āæā
The last and final example took place at a company dinner that took place at a five-stars hotel. Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when you arrived with Heeseung and Beomgyu, unable to believe what you were looking at. Beomgyu was the first to react as the three of you entered the lobby, following the directions provided to one of the major event rooms where the dinner will be taking place.
"Jeez, I know the company's rich but not this rich!" He hissed under his breath, eyes wildly darting left and right, trying to take in the grand and majestic hallways he's in.
Heeseung nodded along. "Yeah, but didn't the email stated the purpose of the company dinner was to thank everyone for their hard work?"
You couldn't help but scoffed, looping your hands through both Heeseung and Beomgyu's arms as you dragged the two men to the designated room, with the guards letting you in.
"Alright gentlemen, let's not talk about work after hours. Let's just eat and enjoy the moment, shall we? Free food is food," you said.
One look around was enough to know whoever was in-charge of the decorations, they had gone over the top. The hall was breathtakingāhigh ceilings draped with cascading chandeliers that covered the entire room in a warm, golden glow. Floor-to-ceiling windows lined on one side, revealing the city skyline as it glittered like a sea of stars.
Round tables occupied the floor in pristine white linen with each centerpiece adorned with different kinds of fresh flowers and delicate glass ornaments that caught the light here and there. Along the far end was where your destination was, waiting for youāthe long spread of food that seems to stretch almost endlessly.
It has everythingāfrom gourmet canapes to full-course dishes plated like pieces of art. Soft classical music instrument played in the background from a live band, perfectly setting the mood and it was loud enough to fill the silence without countering the chatters. Everyone put on their best outfits for tonight's dinnerātailored suits, elegant dresses and polished shoes that clicked against the marbled, polished floor.
Laughter came here and there as people mingled among themselves, talking about everything and anything at the same time. Unlike the usual stiff, tense and fast-paced atmosphere everyone was used to, this was more softer, relaxed and lighter. It felt like a much-needed break to everyone, considering how hard they had worked.
"I don't think insane is enough to describe all of this," Beomgyu continued, grabbing a plate for himself as he greedily helped himself to the wide selection of food, filling his plate up in no time.
You snorted as you grabbed a plate for yourself, walking behind him with Heeseung behind you. "Told you so. Less thinking and more eating. We gotta eat our salaries' worth."
Heeseung laughed, the most relaxed as compared to the two of you as he grabbed some food here and there. "I swear, both of you are unbelievable."
Beomgyu was about to retort with something when a group of colleagues standing nearby shouted his name. He turned to them before back to you and Heeseung, looking conflicted, like he doesn't want to leave the two of you alone. You made the choice for him, shooing him away, like he's some sort of pest.
"Go on, we'll be fine. Just find us whenever you're done," you said.
Beomgyu dramatically gasped, placing his free hand over his chest. "You traitor!"
He exclaimed as he was being dragged towards the group of colleagues who had been eagerly waiting for him, excitedly slapping him on the back. You and Heeseung watched from the sidelines as he effortlessly fall into their conversation within seconds, blending in with them, like the true social butterfly he is.
Heeseung sighed, shaking his head while taking a bite of his food. "Poor guy. Let's hope he's still sober by the time it's over."
You let out a sudden, loud laugh, startling the people around you and slapped a hand over your mouth. "I don't know about that. I think he'd be gone before it ended."
At that, the two of you walked around the room while chatting with other people, exchanging small talks or catching up with colleagues from different departments. It's easy like thisāallowing you to temporarily escaped from reality as you chatted about anything but work. It's the kind of conversations that comes naturally, without the weight you had been carrying for the past few days.
Eventually, Heeseung oh so kindly led you to one of the tables for you to sit down, take a breather and relaxed your legs. You practically heaved a sigh of relief the moment you sat down, leaning over to rub at your slightly swollen feet.
"Maybe it was a bad choice for me to wear heels," you complained, straightening yourself as you leaned back into the chair, holding your plate with your left finger while trying to finish the remains on your plate.
Your friend chuckled, diagonally sitting on your left with one leg crossed over the other. "You could've worn sneakers and no one would've bat an eye."
You gasped, shooting him an incredulous look. "That would ruin my outfit!" You gestured to yourself. Just like the other ladies, you were dressed in a dress that fits the guidelines of the company dinner.
It's a sleeveless black dress with the hem reaching just above your knees. The length itself is modest enough but the way it hugged your body in the right areas was enough to gather stares with some daring to look longer than usual. You may not have noticed itāthe effect you have but the same doesn't apply to a certain someone.
Someone who had been watching you the entire time, right from the moment you stepped into the room. Sunghoon nearly dropped his glass of half drank white wine when you entered, feeling his breath leaving his lungs. His mind blanked out at how stunning you looked, easily drawing everyone's eyes onto your approaching figure, whether they knew it or not.
That's another thing Sunghoon loved about youāhow you're able to capture the entire room's attention without lifting a finger. He watched with a tight jaw, hands nearly snapping the glass into half in his vice-like grip as you were deeply engrossed in a conversation with Heeseung. From where he stood, he was able to get a clear view of how you leaned in slightly to say something into the man's ear, followed by you laughing as you covered your mouth with your hand after he made a joke.
Seriously, is he really that funny?
Sunghoon sulked, downing the rest of the wine in one go, not even flinching when someone threw an arm around his shoulders. He didn't have to turn to know who it was, for there was only one person who dares to lay a hand on him.
"Damn, you're beyond whipped, lover boy. Stop glaring and do something already. Did you remember what I told you?" Jake snickered, earning a nasty, signature side eye from the pale man.
"I know, I tried to make up for it by starting small," he replied, recounting the small, little but precise moments that happened with you to Jakeāhow he drove you home, how he stood up for you and how he didn't raise his voice at you, point out your mistakes and the list goes on.
His friend whistled, impressed once he was done. "Damn, didn't know the Park Sunghoon is capable of putting in effort in something that's not related to work."
He groaned. "Jake."
"Right, my bad man. So, when are you gonna man up and talk to her?"
Sunghoon went silent, eyes automatically and unconsciously drifting towards you, watching as you were now telling Heeseung something while wildly flailing your arms about like a wild, frantic chicken as you were retelling what seemed to be a thrilling story, judging from the starry look in your eyes and how they were practically glowing.
When was the last time you looked at him like that?
Sunghoon sighed, robotically facing the front while swiping off another glass of white wine from a tray of a passing waiter. He swirled the glass, watching as the colorless liquid sloshed around before taking a slow, deliberate sip.
"ā¦Not yet, Jake. I don't want to mess this up."
Jake rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Really? That sounds like an excuse than anything else. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like you're scared. And that you're a fucking coward."
"You've already said it before at the bar."
"Yeah, but it's clear nothing has changed. Which is why I'm repeating what I said before. Park Sunghoon, get your fucking shit together before you lose her. Forever. Once you're married, you can't go back anymore."
"I know that!" Sunghoon snapped. His sudden outburst drew the attention of the people around him but they didn't think twice, returning to their respective conversations.
"I know I'm a coward but what am I supposed to do, huh!? Tell me! How does one even tell someone he truly love and cherish with his entire heart that they are sorry for the things they have done and said? Do you know how painful it was for me to get through every day, when she's so fucking close but so far from me!?"
Jake's eyes widened, cursing under his breath as he looked around, to see more and more people were now looking in their direction.
"Uh Sunghoon, you might wanna lower doā"
"Do you have any idea how much I want to apologize to her, wishing I could turn back time, go back to the past where everything was fine, just like the way it used to be? How I didn't want any of these? How I didn't want anything else but just (Name) by my side? That's all that I care about!"
"Sunā"
"Then tell me, why the fuck am I still standing here doing nothing!?" His voice cracked at the end, louder than he intendedāwhether he knew it or not.
Silence.
"Sunghoon."
Your voice cut through everything, as sharp as a dagger but it's clear and unmistakably yours. His breath hitched in his throat, fully turning around and there you were, standing just a few feet away from him with an unreadable look on your face. He couldn't helped but wondered if this was how you felt while trying to decipher his feelings but the thought was kicked out of his mind when you approached him, closing the distance in no more than six large strides.
Your hand shot out, grabbed his wrist. The sudden contact made him flinched, startled and his eyes snapped down.
"Come with me."
It wasn't a request but rather, it was a demandāgiving him a sense of deja vu. But Sunghoon didn't resist or say anything. He allowed himself to be pulled through the gathered crowd, turning a blind eye to the multiple, curious stares and the whispers following you like a shadow. Jake remained silent, watching from where he stood. He can only prayed that whatever happens next won't end up on the news.
āāæąØą§āæā
You didn't stop walking until you reached a secluded corner of the long hallway, until you were far enough that the noise from the dinner event was reduced to nothing but a distant hum. You came to a stop, dropping his hand and sharply turned to face him. Your chest rose and fall, the emotions you had buried for so long were clawing their way back to the surface, threatening to break free.
"Park Sunghoon, what the hell was that all about?" You demanded, your voice low but borderline shaking.
The manāyour childhood friend didn't respond. He simply stared at you, like he hasn't seen you in years, like you were something he wasn't sure he was allowed to look at, like you were nothing more than a figment of his imagination. And that whatever was happening right now, is nothing more than a dream.
You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms hard enough to leave indents behind. "I asked you a question. Answer. Me."
He swallowed. "ā¦You weren't supposed to hear that."
You stared at him and let out a disbelief laugh, the sound wreck, sharp and fragile. "Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have covered my ears and let you yell your feelings out in the middle of a company dinner?"
"That's notā" He stopped himself mid-sentence, exhaling in frustration. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what is it? I don't know about you but it sounds pretty clear to me," you shot back, stepping closer now. Your eyes were glowing with flames of anger, like you're desperately trying to rip the truth out of him.
Silence.
It stretched until you were about to walk away whenā
"I'm sorry."
The words were quiet, barely above a whisper. And yet, they hit you harder than any of his previous cold, ruthless words. You froze, heart nearly stopped beating in your chest when you heard it. You thought your ears were playing tricks on you and that you were mishearing things.
"ā¦What?"
"I'm sorry. For everything," he repeated, his voice much steadier this time but it's still packed with the same amount of rawness.
You narrowed your eyes, your fight mode instinctively kicking in. It was one, last and final attempt to distance yourself before you dug a deeper grave for yourself.
"No. No, you don't get to do that now," you said, frantically shaking your head as you took a small step back.
"(Name), I know I don't deserā"
"Don't say my name or anything else. You don't get to just fucking stand there and say sorry like it fixes anything," you interrupted him.
"I know it doesn't fix anything."
"Then why not!? Why now, Sunghoon? After everything you've done. After the way you treated me, you suddenly what? Feel gulity? You think your pathetic apology can mend everything? Can it bring back the past!?"
Your voice cracked, leaving you to shriek and scream at the top of your lungs in the hallway. You no longer cared about maintaining professionalism, not when you're in front of the man who had seen you at your worst and best. Not in front of the man who you came to love with your entire soul, only for him to toss you aside, like you were nothing. Like you weren't worthy.
He flinchedāsuch a small movement but you saw it.
"You're right, I apologize because I felt gulity," he admitted, his voice low and defeated.
Your breath caught.
"And because Jake's right. If I don't do something now, I'll lose you forever. And honestly? That fucking terrifies me," he continued, running a hand through his hair in frustration, messing it up in the process.
The pure, raw and unfiltered honesty made your heart skipped a beat and your breath stuttered in your throat. But you didn't let it show, refusing to show him the effect he still has on you, much to your disappointment.
"You didn't seem scared when you treated me like I meant nothing. Or when I was just another employee," you pointed out, each word deliberate, like you had taken great care to choose them out of the entire dictonary.
"I was a coward."
You blinked, not expecting the sudden confession. "Yeah, you are one. Why did you do that? Why did you pushed me away, looked at me like I'm nothing? Like I'm just another employee?"
The man lets out a shaky breath, the sound itself so painful and raw it made you want to step closer to hug him. But you held yourself back.
"I thought if I do that, you'd be able to find someone better. Someone who deserves your love, your smile, your kindness, your attention and everything about you. I.. I don't deserve you."
You let out a bitter, broken laugh as you felt something warm and salty stinging your eyes, blurring your vision slightly. Sunghoon faltered at the sight of your face and he stepped forward, slow and careful. When it's clear you're letting him move closer, he took another step, one move at a time.
"Who do you think you are?" You croaked out.
The man stilled, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "Iā"
"No, shut up and listen. Who do you think you are, thinking that I don't deserve you? What makes you think that way, huh? Did God told you all of those and you decided to went along with it? Willingly? You don't get to make my choices on my behalf," you started, closing the distance to forcefully jab your finger into his chest as you hissed at him.
Sunghoon's expression broke. "(Name)ā"
"You don't know what I've been through because of you. I couldn't stopped crying every night after work. I kept asking myself: just when did everything go wrong? Was I the one at fault? What can I do to make up for it? What can I do to make him look at me again, just like the way he used to? No matter how much I think, I couldn't think of anything! You left without telling me and came back, looking like a completely different person."
You paused, letting your words sink in before you continued.
"My friends told me to move on."
This time, it was his turn for his breath to stutter. "..What?"
You weakly nodded your head, tears now freely rolling down your cheeks. Sunghoon's hands twitched, tempted to reach out to wipe them away but he restrained himself. Not yet.
"They said I don't deserve you, that I deserve someone better."
He looked away, jaw tight and clenched. "They're right."
You made a sound of frustration, reaching out to grab his face, turning him so he can see you. "I don't care what anyone has to say! I've already made up my choice!"
"Your choice? Wait, you meanā"
"Yes! For fuck's sake, you're the only person I want! I don't want anyone else but you!" You exclaimed, heaving to catch your breath after you quite and literally, confessed your feelings in a hallway.
Sunghoon stared at you, lips parted, dumbfounded and rendered speechless. "IāYou love me? For my personality?"
You rolled your eyes. "Yeā!"
You weren't given a chance to finish your sentence, barely getting the word out when he cut you off by crashing his lips against yours. Sunghoon expertly moved his handsāone hand supporting the back of your neck while the other pulled you in by your waist, until you're directly pressed chest-to-chest.
Your mind blanked out with you stilling in his arms, only for your eyelids to flutter shut as you returned the kiss, sighing into his mouth. He greedily swallowed the sound, shuddering when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. The kiss was slow and languid, like you're trying to convey your true feelings to one another.
I'm sorry. I really am.
Thank you for choosing me.
Despite everything, it's still you. It will always be you.
I love you. I really do.
You ended up breaking the kiss but you didn't pull away completely, resting your forehead against his with your noses grazing against one another. You opened your eyes, to see he was already looking at you. Unlike before, when his gaze was cold, blank and emotionless, this was full of nothing but pure love and adoration. It's enough for your heart to soar, spreading its invisible wings.
"Really? Did you really mean what you say?" He murmured, eyes darting between your eyes and your parted lips.
You chuckled. "Yeah, I mean it. I love you, Sunghoon."
He groaned, the sound low and dangerous. Hearing it does something to you, making heat pooled in your stomach. You attempted to rub your thighs together but he was faster. Without wasting time, he carried you bridal-style in his arms. You squeaked, throwing your arms around him as he walked with purpose, heading to where the elevators are.
"What are you doing!? Put me down!" You hissed, looking around and thankfully, there wasn't anyone around to see you in such a humiliating state.
He paid you no mind, jamming his finger into the Up button. The lift in front of him opened and he wasted no time in entering. Sunghoon pressed one of the many floors of the hotel. He didn't even wait for the doors to close, already crowding you against the wall to kiss you again. His firm, tall and strong body easily held you upright as he steals your breath away.
"W-Wait-hngh-s-stop-hah," you wetly and openly panted against his mouth. Your hands rested on his chest, fingers straining as you tried to push him away but it's futile, with his strength completely overwhelming yours.
He blindly grabbed both of your hands and pinned them above your head with one hand, holding you in place. None of you cared that you're in an elevator, a semi-public place or how the camera was able to capture every heated moment shared by the two of you. Sunghoon sworn under his breath, his free hand sliding up your thigh, pushing your dress up in the process.
His touch made your skin warm, leaving nothing but a tingling sensation and goosebumps behind in his wake. You gasped into his mouth when he toyed with the hem of your nude stockings, tugging on the thin fabric before letting it go. The fabric snapped against your skin, causing you to jolt on the spot. You sworn you felt him smirked against your lips at your reaction.
Ding!
The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Fortunately for you, no one was standing on the other end or they would have gotten the jumpscare of their lives. The two of you tumbled out of the elevator in a mess of limbs, struggling to walk with Sunghoon leading the way. Although, it was easier said than done when he kept kissing you, like he couldn't get enough of how sweet and soft your lips taste.
Eventually, he broke the kiss with a feat of amazing self-restraint, pulling out what looked like a keycard to a room as he stopped before a door. You watched as he pressed the card against the door and a green light lit up. The moment the door was opened, you were yanked into the room, only to be shoved into the door, closing it in the process and he's on you again.
Unlike before, the kiss was more intense, frantic and desperate. His hands were everywhereāgreedily touching you in places he wasn't allowed to. Just like before, Sunghoon pushed your black dress up, revealing the stockings you worn underneath it. He boldly cupped you through your underwear, chuckling into your mouth at how you're already wet.
"Look at you, already dripping for me. All from what? Just a kiss? It's all for me, isn't it?"
He hummed, lightly pressing his thumb down on your cunt through the fabric, savoring the choked out whine you let out at the light, fleeting contact. You canted your hips forward, craving more friction but to your utter frustration, he dropped his hand. He pried your lips apart with his skillful tongue, exploring every inch of your warm mouth, ensuring nothing was left untouched.
Your legs buckled, threatening to give way when he gave a harsh suck on your tongue, the sound seemingly loud and lewd in the quiet hotel room. It made your ears turned red. Sunghoon easily lifted you up, maneuvering you to the bed. He placed you down on the pristine white, soft linen sheets with utter care and gentlness that it made your heart stuttered.
You whined, blindly tugging on the blazer of his suit as he hovered over you, careful to not crush you with his weight.
"Off. Take it off," you pleaded.
He chuckled. "Since you asked so nicely."
He withdrew from you, long and slender fingers making quick work of the buttons of his blazer. You pushed yourself up, aiding him in it while ignoring how your hands were borderline trembling. Thankfully, he didn't comment on it. Once the final button was unbuttoned, Sunghoon carelessly chucked it aside. He unknot the tie, ready to throw it to the floor when he paused, an invisible lightbulb going off in his mind.
"Mind if I try something?" He asked, holding the now long, black fabric in his left hand.
You nodded, granting him permission. He scooted closer, grabbed your wrists, telling you to hold them together and you obeyed. Your breath caught when he tied the black fabric around your wrists, binding them together. Once he's done, he observed your face, trying to search for any signs of discomfort.
"Is it too tight?" He questioned, genuinely concerned.
"No, it's perfect."
He nodded. "Let me know if anything hurts, alright? Green's to continue and red's to stop."
"Got it."
The moment those words left your mouth, the switch was instant. His eyes darkened a shade as he pushed you back until you were lying flat on your back. You watched, unable to look away as he unbuttoned the buttons of his white dress shirt at a slow, teasing pace. You squirmed about on the sheets. Now that your wrists were tied together, you couldn't do anything, only able to helplessly watched while you're dripping nonstop.
Sunghoon chuckled, the sound low, mean and degrading at how your reactions. "Aw, what's wrong, princess? Need something?"
You let out a pathetic keenābarely able to recognize your own voice. "P-Please."
"Please what? C'mon, use your words and tell me, baby. I'm not a mind reader," he drawled, finally unbuttoning the last button and shedded the dress shirt, leaving him shirtless.
Your eyes moved, shamelessly oogling him in all of his glory, drinking in his toned chest and the very solid abs he gotāresults from his hard work at the gym. Sunghoon caught you eye-fucking him. Of course he did. He didn't say anything but the way he smirked was enough. He made quick work of the rest of his pants and boxers, leaving him completely bare while you were still fully clothed, unable to lay your hands on him.
You instinctively looked down, nervously swallowing when you saw his cock. And wow, it's huge. You never knew your childhood friend can be packing down there, hiding and growing a third leg but you can only assumed puberty must have hit him like a truck. The mushroomy tip had already turned a ferocious shade of red due to the lack of attention and neglection. Heck, there was even a bead of precum on the tip that glistened under the dim lights.
You attempted to close your legs but Sunghoon moved. His large hands grabbed both of your thighs, his fingers touching as he held you down, forcing you to spread and present yourself before him. Even though you still have your clothes on, you couldn't helped but feel small under his intense, unwavering gaze.
"P-Please touch me," you whimpered and who was he to deny you?
Sunghoon groaned, wasting no time in removing your clothes from your body, tossing all of them to the floorāending up in the same fate as his own clothes. Although, the same couldn't be applied to your stockings as he ripped them into shreds instead, too impatient to roll them off your legs. Now that you were completely bare, he had to pause to drink in the sight, almost wishing he can imprint this gorgeous scene into his mind.
Your lipstick was already smudged and nearly wiped off due to the intense make-out session you had. Your hair was spread out like a halo on the pillow, making you looked like an angel. Your lips was swollen and bruised, eyes dazed and slightly glossy as you stared at him, wanting him to do something already.
"Fuck, you're so gorgeous. I can't believe you're mine now," he breathed out, sounding in awe and somehow, that made your breath caught.
He didn't give you time to recover, shifting down until he's on his stomach and dived in. Sunghoon started with a flat stripe up your dripping, aching cunt. The first contact has your mind spinning, nearly making you see the white pearly gates of heaven. You cried out, the sound raw and was ripped from the depth of your throat.
He licked you open with his tongue. Each swipe was slow, deliberate and full of purpose. Your thighs trembled in his grip as you jerked your hips forward, pushing yourself into his mouth. He groaned in appreciation, face buried deep in your leaking pussy. The vibration traveled through your body, drawing a loud and shameless moan from you.
He continued working you open, eventually pushing his tongue inside you. The sudden intrustion of the wet, slimey and slippery muscle made stars explode in your vision. Your back arched off the back, creating an amazing arch that could put even the crescent moon to shame. Your tied wrists were hanging over your head, leaving you helpless and vulnerable to his assault.
"Oh fuck. Hngh, d-don't stop-" You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he slides two of his long, slender fingers in, moving them in a scissors-like motion, spreading you open and preparing you for what's to come.
"Shit, you taste divine, baby. Could stay here forever and eat this pussy for every meal. Forget food when I can have a five-stars meal here," he growled, his voice vibrating through you.
You've never heard him like thisāall pent-up as he gets drunk on your slick, sounds and body. The thought of that was enough to make you rocked your hips against his mouth and Sunghoon lets you do it, letting you ride his tongue. He continued to finger you while fucking you with his tongue.
The double pentration drew a series of angelic, sinful sounds from you. Sounds that you never thought you were capable of making. You can feel your climax coming, with how the pressure kept building as it coiled tighter and tighter in your stomach, like a rubberband being stretched to its limitā
Only for him to pull out, both fingers and tongue.
"Whaā"
"Can't have you cumming on my fingers and mouth. I'd rather have you cum on my cock instead."
Maybe it's the way he said it without hesitation. Maybe it's how firm he is, knowing the effect he has on you. Maybe it's the determined and desired look in his eyes. Whatever it was, it drew an soft, involuntary and needy whine from you. Sunghoon situated himself in between your legs. He aligned himself against your entrance and slowly pushes in.
You felt his mushroomy tip breaching past your folds, sinking deeper and deeper until he eventually bottomed out, buried to the hilt. Your mouth dropped open, forming an "O" shape. You felt impossibly full, like you were being split apart on his cock. Heck, you sworn you could feel him hitting the back of your throat, with how deep he is inside you.
Sunghoon fisted the sheets, twisting them between his fingers while resisting the tempting urge to just pound you six ways into heaven. He doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable and gods, if anything happen to you, he wouldn't know how to continue living after that.
"C-Can't-" You choked out, your pussy being stretched obscenly wide to accomdate to the huge grith of his cock.
He was quick to reassure you. "Shh, it's okay, princess. Just take a deep breath for me, alright? And then breathe out."
You copied him, managing to calm down. Sunghoon took that as his cue to move, pulling out until only the tip was still inside you before sheathing himself back in.
"Fuck!"
You moaned, wrists evidently straining against the temporary bondage as he repeats the movement, setting an even pace. He thrusted into you whole holding himself upright with just his hands. Sunghoon gritted his teeth at how you kept sucking him in, how there was close to no resistance at every thrust.
The hotel room was filled with the lewd, obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin, his balls slapping against your inner thighs along with your pleasured moans that gradually get higher and higher. Until he had to duck his head, muffling it by kissing you while swallowing it down his own throat, treating it like an offering from the Gods themselves.
With your lips still interlocked, Sunghoon slung your legs around his waist as he bends you forward, putting you in a mating press. The new position allowed him to hit deeper. You sworn you can feel his tip constantly kissing the entrance to your womb. You couldn't keep up with the kiss, simply moaning and babbling incoherent words that sounded a lot like "more", "please" and "Sunghoon".
Whatever it was, it seemed to do the trick on him. Your bodies were covered in a layer of sweat with salty droplets rolling down his back. Some even landed on the sheets as they trickled down his face. He glanced down, his thrusts faltering mid-motion when he saw a bump on your stomach. A bump made by him, due to how big he is.
He moved his left hand and pressed down on it.
His action elicited a high-pitched keen from you which to him, it was the most delicious sound he has ever heard from you. Sunghoon's mind spins, starting to spiral as he began to wonder: how will you look when you carry his children in the future? How will you treat them?
The thoughts kept flooding his mind and with the newfound vigor, he ruthlessly pounded into you like a madman. You whimpered at the sudden change of speed, body going limp against the sheets as you struggled.
"Gonna make you carry my kids. Pump this pretty little pussy full of my cum," he snarled, seemingly lost in his own world and thoughts.
You moaned, instinctively clenching down on him at his words. Sunghoon cursed, hand snaking down to rub at your clit, timing it with his thrust.
"Yeah? You'd like that, don't you? Walking around in the office with everyone not knowing you're carrying my children," he cooed, voice lowering an octave.
You frantically nodded your head, too far gone and intoxicated on the feeling of his cock constantly hitting that one spongy spot hidden between your gummy walls.
"Mhm! Please, m-more-hah."
Sunghoon continued fucking into you at a faster pace, if that was even possible. The bed creaked at every movement with the bedframe slamming against the wall. He knows he'll be getting a complaint from the hotel staff tomorrow but that's for future him to handle. Now, he has a more important issue to settle. The issue that comes in the form of impregnating you.
It took a few more long and timed thrusts for you to feel your climax reaching.
"G-Gonna cum-pleasepleaseplease," you babbled, too cockdrunk to think straight.
Sunghoon took pity on you. "Yeah? You wanna cum, pretty girl? Then cum for me."
He delivered one final thrust, burying himself to the hilt and you cum while chanting his name like a sacred prayer. Your walls violently convulsed around him, milking him dry as body-length shudders traveled through your body. Sunghoon was quick to follow suit. He spilled thick and hot cum inside you, painting your gummy walls in the shade of his cum.
You grimanced at the uncomfortable feeling of being pumped full, able to feel how bloated your stomach felt afterwards. Sunghoon didn't pull out. Instead, he collapsed onto you with an "oof" and you made a disgusted sound, reaching out to weakly smacked the back of his head.
"Ow!"
"Get off of me. You're gonna crush me to death," you retorted.
Sunghoon rolled his eyes but obliged. He pulled out first, drawing a hiss from you and he laid beside you. None of you said a word, laying on the same bed, bodies covered in sweat and body fluids as you stared at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath. You ended up breaking the silence, wanting to address the invisible elephant in the room.
"ā¦So, what does this make us now?" You asked, not daring to look at him.
"What do you want us to be?" He countered.
"You're not supposed to answer my question with your own," you retorted.
He chuckled, reaching out to place his hand above yours. When you didn't push him away, he took that as a green light to intertwine your fingers together.
"I'd like us to be partners. Romantically."
You snorted. "No one says that, Hoon. It's actually boyfriend and girlfriend."
He furrowed his signature, thick eyebrows. "What's the difference? They still mean the same."
You let out a long, heavy sigh. "Never mind, forget it. But sure, let's be partners. Romantically."
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes at you. "..You're mocking me, aren't you?"
You gave him an innocent look but the glimmer of mischief in your eyes said otherwise. "Me? I would never!"
He didn't budge an inch before pounching on you, fingers ruthlessly tickling your sides without a care in the world. You squealed, trying to push him away and shielding yourself but your efforts was futile. You can only make yourself small while he continued, your laughter and pleas of mercy bounces among the four walls of the room.
"S-Stop-pft-m-mercy-HAHAHA!" You exclaimed, gasping and heaving for breath with tears prickling your eyes.
Sunghoon stopped his tickling attack, only for him to lean forward with his hands now on both sides of your head, caging you against the bed. You stilled, locking eyes with him. He swallowed, eyes flicking down to your lips.
"There's something I need to tell you," he started.
"Well, that doesn't sound good," you teasedāa poor attempt to lighten the atompshere."
He didn't react to your words.
"It's about the marriage the articles posted. I want you to know it's not real," he continued. Your heart dropped when you heard that. But despite it all, a part of you felt relieved.
"Oh."
He nodded, eyes searching for something in you. "Yeah, the marriage was set up by both of our families. They believed it's beneficial to both parties if the marriage goes through, in terms of business wise. My father also wants to use it to tie me down, so I won't do it again."
You frowned. "Do what?"
Sunghoon sighed, lowering his head before lifting them up again. "ā¦The reason why I left without telling you was because I didn't know how to. The Parksāmy family, is a line of business people. But I'm not like them. I wasn't interested in business. I was interested in law and that's something my parents refused to accept or acknowledge. No matter how hard they kept teaching me, I refused to accept it. It was torture, trying to learn something you didn't want to learn."
Your heart shattered at how small his voice became. You wordlessly reached out, cupped his face with your hands and he leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut.
"So I decided to risk it all, book a plane ticket to Australia and enrol myself in one of the law schools there. I didn't know how to tell you. It was out of a sudden. My brother found out about it and he supports me. My father, on the other hand, harshly rejected the idea. We fought before I left and he told me he'd let me go but in the future, whatever major decisions regarding my life is in his hands now."
Your eyes widened. "..And one of it was the marriage. It's to bind you to the Parks."
He glumly nodded.
"Oh, Hoonā¦" You sighed, craning your neck up to brush your lips against his in an almost-like kiss. He shivered at how heavenly the nickname sounds from you. The very same nickname he kept close to his heart since young.
"Your father's an asshole. It's your life, whether he likes it or not. He doesn't have a say in what you want to do," you continued.
"I know, which is why I'd be telling him to cancel the marriage tomorrow," he replied, determined.
You paused. "Uh, are you sure that's even possible? What about that fiance of yours? Will she be mad and upset?"
"Huh? No, why would she? She's just like me. Both of us didn't want the marriage in the first place," he pointed out.
"ā¦Oh, okay," you mumbled, face turning as red as a tomato as you looked away.
It took him a few seconds to realize why and when he did connect the dots, he smirked teasingly. "Don't tell me you were jealous."
"I'm not!" You defended yourself, replying without hesitation.
"Mhm, sure. And I'm the president of Seoul," he answered with sarcasm seeping into his voice.
You shot him an annoyed glare, ready to shove him off the bed when he stopped you, grabbing both of your hands, causing you to stop.
"I love you," he confessed.
The words were raw and it's a deadly combination with the utmost sincerity in his voice. So deadly that it made you teared up. Seeing this, Sunghoon's features softened. He ducked his head so he can pressed his forehead against yours.
"Jeez, I guess you're still a crybaby huh," he teased.
"Yeah, but I'm your crybaby now," you fired back, voice cracking at the end.
Sunghoon blinked once. Twice before a wide smile stretched across his face from ear to ear.
THE āSā WORD āā .ąØą§ park sunghoon one shot
Ego is a crazy thing and you shattering Park Sunghoonās just makes him more determined to ruin your indifference and reclaim his pride, even if it means losing his mind in the process.
Or the one where Sunghoon canāt wrap his head around the fact that you just wanna fuck.
nsfw warnings āā SMUT, unprotected sex, oral (f rec), face sitting, cum eating, insane power dynamics, desperate sunghoon is the best sunghoon. heās cocky as fuck, someone humble him. bisexual!sunghoon x nonchalant!reader
word count āā 4.7k
Sunghoon was used to being the prize, matter of factāhe was. As the university's bicon bi-icon he was accustomed to the hushed whispers in the lecture halls and the way peopleāregardless of gender because they knew he swung both waysāpractically tripped over themselves to catch his eye.
Sunghoon was well aware that his beauty was a universal language, he moved through the halls with a cold grace that acted like a magnet for everyone in his orbit. He wasn't picky about the attention either, whether it was the girls in the quad rushing to shove their numbers in his jacket pocket or the boys in the locker room staring at all his glory, Sunghoon drank in their collective thirst with a quiet greed.
He enjoyed the way eyes lingered on the line of his jaw and the curve of his shoulders, absolutely relishing the fact that he was the ultimate prize in every room. He had spent years letting people project their fantasies onto him, taking what he wanted and leaving them wanting more and he was perfectly content being the untouchable standard that no one could actually reach.
The man was perfectātop of his class, a star athlete and a face like that?
So imagine his utter confusion when he brought you back to his dorm after some party, he already had the script written in his head. He'd fucked you into oblivion, with precise movements and be devastatingly thorough, so heād leave you a shaking and totally breathless mess beneath him. He had fully expected to wake up with you draped over him, perhaps already asking what this meant or clinging to his arm as he tried to get to his eight oāclock class. He was even prepared to be gracious about it, maybe buy you coffee before gently explaining he wasn't looking for anything serious.
But when the sun hit his pillow the next morning and the space beside him was cold. With no note, not even the lingering scent of your perfume, just a neatly made side of the bed and a closed door, Sunghoon didnāt know how to react.
He was sitting in the library, trying really hard to think about anything other than you, when his phone finally buzzed and his heart actually thudded against his ribs.
Y/n: hey. u free tonight? we should link againš
Sunghoon stared at the screen, willing his irritation to subside. Not even a "How are you?" or a "Sorry I've been MIA." You were just directly requesting for his body, as if he were a some kind of high end vending machine.
He typed back immediately, his thumbs flying across the screen with suppressed fury.
Sunghoon: That's it? three weeks of silence and you just want to ālink againā?
Your reply came back almost instantly but all it did was make his blood boil even hotter.
Y/n: lol yeah. what can i say? you know how to fuck. my place at 10?
Sunghoon stood up so abruptly his chair screeched against the linoleum floor and drew annoyed looks from the nearby students but he didn't care. He was the most sought after man on campus and you were treating him like a convenient late night snack.
He told himself he should text you back no and protect his dignity by telling you he wasn't interested in being your booty call. But even as he told himself that, he was already packing his bag as his mind racing with the need to get you alone again and it wasnāt just because he wanted to fuck, he was now hellbent on making you look at him as more than just a good time. He wanted to break that casual, indifferent armor of yours until you were the one begging for a second date.
Or at least, that's what he told himself as he drove toward your dorm, his heart hammering with both wounded pride and an inconvenient hunger.
Sunghoon knew his pride was a dangerous thing but at this point his delusion might have been working overtime. As he took the stairs to your apartment two at a time, he adjusted the collar of his shirt and had managed to convince himself that he had cracked the code. Sheās not indifferentāhe concluded, you were playing a high stakes game of hard to get, you obviously just wanted him to work for it. Fine then. He'd play along but he'd win by making this night so earth shattering that you'd be making him breakfast in the morning.
He had a whole plan, which involved taking his sweet time with you, being romantic in a way that only really special people got to see. He was going to go heavy on the eye contact and sweet words just cause he wanted to see you crumble.
But the second he walked through your door, the plan practically disintegrated. You didn't even give him time for a "How was your day?" or a lingering gaze because you were on him immediately, with your hands already pulling at his belt and your lips kissing down his neck hungry and focused. He tried to reclaim the narrative, pushing you back against your bed to eat you out, too keen on showing you a level of devotion that would force a confession out of you.
He only managed to get his tongue on you for four minutes before you were hauling him back up, you clearly didn't want the slow buildāyou truly just wanted fuck.
Before he could protest, you somehow had him flat on his back on your bed. You straddled him, tossing your head back in a giggle before guiding his thick and already leaking cock inside your dripping cunt in one stuttering motion. Sunghoon let out a sound that sounded like he was choking, his head hit the pillow as he felt your tight heat sucking him in.
He looked up at you, expecting to see the usual worship every other girl or boy would be giving him by now, he expected the flushed cheeks with the wide eyed adoration he received from everyone else. But your eyes weren't really searching his for a connection, you were looking past him or down at where your bodies joined, with your face all intense and concentrated. You were too focused on the stretch of him filling you up and the way you could make yourself cum by bouncing on him so expertly.
He felt like an object. A very, very expensive tool being used for your personal satisfaction, likeā¦a dildo.
"Look at me," he almost pleaded, his hands flying to your waist to try and slow your manic pace. "Come on, look at me."
You barely glanced down, letting out a huffed breath of a moan as you picked up the speed. Your pussy was incredible, gripping him so tight as you went down and spasming around his tip when you came back up with every downward thrust, it was already making him tilt dangerously close to his limit. His hips began to buck instinctively, attempting to meet your movements as he fought a losing battle against his own pleasure.
He was so conflicted he felt like he was splitting in two. On one hand, this was the best sex of his lifeāagain, your body was a masterpiece and the way you moved was driving him toward an humiliatingly fast orgasm. On the other hand, the silence in the room that was only getting broken by the wet sounds of your squelching pussy and your heavy breathing mix with some occasional moans, was driving him mad.
Why don't you like me? the thought screamed in his head as he felt his cum beginning to stir. I'm Sunghoon. Everyone wants me. Why am I just a body to you?
He gripped your hips tighter cause he knew he was at the very edge and as he finally began to spill inside you, he let out a frustrated growl. He was cumming harder than he ever had, completely ruined by you once again but he couldnāt even enjoy it because he knew with a sinking certainty that as soon as he caught his breath, you'd be pointing him towards the door.
You shifted above him and looked down at your joined bodies, watching as the evidence of his orgasm pulsed out of your cunt and slicked your thighs.
You finally looked at his face and pouted at him. "I didn't even get to cum," you muttered, more to yourself than to him but then your eyes flicked to his like you just got them to focus. "Can I sit on your face?"
Normally, that would have been a hard line for him. The logic of his perfect persona dictated a certain level of decorum and the thought of eating his own cum out of your pussy was something he would have considered beneath himāa massive no in any other scenario. But as he looked at you and he saw the indifference in your expression, the way you were already preparing to stand up and end the night, like you were fine either way, that sent a surge of pathetic desperation crashing over him.
He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay with you, he wanted you to need him, to realize that no one else could satisfy you like this, that no one was like him. He was one of one.
Without a single word of protest, Sunghoon reached up and used his large hands to manhandle you with a sudden urgency, he gripped your waist and pulled you off him cock with a squelch and down the length of his body until your stuffed heat was hovering directly over his mouth.
You let out a startled giggle as he settled you firmly against his face. The sound cut through his pride like a knife but he didn't care, by now he was too far gone.
He dove in with a fervor that was borderline manic, not minding the mess or the taste. The man just wanted to hear you moan his name instead of looking at him like a stranger. His tongue moved with so much focus, swirling it through the creaminess and the slick of your pussy, he was intent on erasing that pout and replacing it with the kind of broken screams that would prove he finally had a hold on you. He used his hands to spread you wide, his thumbs digging into your hips as he worked, worshiping the very part of you that treated him like an afterthought.
When your moans started bouncing off the walls of your room, his pride started to swell again, it was exactly what he had been fighting for. As you gripped his hair and your back arched when he latched his lips on your clit to suck it into his mouth, he felt that familiar confidence starting to return. He was doing it, he was breaking through that cool exterior of yours, making you lose control the way everyone else did for him.
But then, in the heat of your approaching orgasm, you let out a breathless sob. "AhāSungmin! Sungmin, right there!"
Sunghoon froze, lips stopping and all, just laying there for a beat with his lips just an inch from your pussy, he was struggling to process the name that definitely didn't belong to him.
Sungmin? He didn't even know a Sungmin.
He slowly pulled back even further, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he looked up at you. You were blinking down at him, your eyes glazed with lingering pleasure, looking almost confused by the sudden halt in his ministrations.
"What?" you asked in an airy voice. "Why'd you stop? That was so gooood."
Sunghoon's brow furrowed more he didn't just feel used like a dildo nowāhe felt completely anonymous.
He suddenly moved and shifted you once again, pushing you down his body so you landed between his legs, before he sat up to look right at you with wounded disbelief. "Who the fuck is Sungmin?"
Your eyes widened in a way that let him know you werenāt just fucking with him, you genuinely thought his name was Sungmin. "Ohā¦youāNo way! Is that not your name?" You laughed right in his face.
"No," he answered slowly with anger and real hurt in his voice. "That is absolutely not my name."
He leaned in closer, his nose almost touching yours, his dark eyes searching your face for even a hint that you were joking. But you just looked back at him with that same casual, slightly bored curiosity.
"This is the second time weāre hooking up," he hissed, his grip tightening just a fraction. "I literally spent the last three weeks wondering why you weren't calling me and you're telling me you don't even know who I am? You don't know my name?"
The fact that the most popular guy on campus was currently having an existential crisis over a booty call didn't seem to faze you. In fact it was like you didnāt know he was the most perfect popular guy in your school. You just tilted your head. "I thought it started with an s. At least I was right?" You offered weakly.
"It's Sunghoon," he snapped. "My name is Sunghoon." He suddenly shifted away from you, throwing his legs over the bed as the wind was completely knocked out of his sails. He looked at you, his eyes shimmering with a vulnerability he hadn't shown anyone since his primary school days. The rejection was now existential and there was no saving him.
"Why don't you like me?" he asked, hoping you didnāt hear the way his voice cracked. He sounded less like the campus heartthrob everyone knew and more like a bewildered boy who had just been told his favorite toy wasn't actually his.
You reached out, your hand trailing down his neck. "What are you talking about? Of course I like you. I like that dick. It's easily the best I've had all year."
"No!" He flinched, batting your hand away and scrambling backward until his back hit the headboard. "Don't...don't touch me. Not if that's all it is." He wrapped his arms around his chest, looking genuinely pained. "Why don't you like me...as a person? Like, as Sunghoon?"
You finally sat up properly, pushing your hair back to giving him a look of unfiltered honesty. "Oh. Well, to be totally fair, I don't really know you that well."
"Well, no fucking shit! Because you ghosted me for three straight weeks after our first time!" he burst out, his voice rising in pitch. "I waited for a text. I was checking my phone every ten fucking minutes. I even walked past your building coincidentally three times in one day and you just...you didn't care!"
You let out an amused laugh and stood up, reaching for your discarded hoodie. "What did you actually expect? Honestly?" You pulled the sweater over your head, looking at him with an arched brow. "Let me guess. You wanted me to be the clingy girl, didn't you? You wanted to wake up and find me in your kitchen making you breakfast and looking at you like you're a god, just so you could get a nice little ego boost before you kicked me out to go to practice?"
Sunghoon opened his mouth to defend himself but his face flushed an embarrassed crimson. "I...I mean..." He stammered, the truth catching in his throat. "Yes! Butāno! I mean, not just that!"
He looked away with his shoulders slumping. He couldn't even lie to himself anymore or look you in the eye. He had wanted the validation of your obsession but instead, he'd ended up obsessed with the fact that you didn't have any for him.
"I just wanted you to remember me," he muttered quietly, looking so deflated it was almost cute. "Is it really that much to ask for you to know the guy whoās making you cum?"
"Oh please. Making me cum is a stretch." You rolled your eyes at the wash he gasped. "No! Donāt do that. Your attitude threw me off today. Thatās all. I donāt need you to tell me, I know I am a good lay."
"Whatever, bro."
Bro?
You stood over him, silhouetted by the dim light of the bedroom and leaned in close enough to see the real panic in his dark eyes. "Admit it," you said, "You only care this much because for the first time in your life, you're the one being looked past. It's driving you crazy that you can't have me hooked on you the way you want."
The silence stretched thin and his pride battled with the dangerous reality of the last three weeks, until he finally snapped.
"Fine! Yes!" The confession came spilling out of him in a desperate rush. "It drives me insane. I've spent every goddamn day wondering why I wasn't enough to make you want to stay. I don't know what it is about youāif it's the way you look at me or the way you actually don'tābut I have never felt like this."
He reached out and curled his fingers into the fabric of your hoodie, to hold you there and make you hear him out. "I'm Park fucking Sunghoon," he whispered but it sounded like a plea. "People literally line up just to look at me and here I am, practically begging for a crumb of your attention. It's fucking humiliating. So please...just stop treating me like an object. Stop treating me like I'm just a body you can call up when you're bored or horny."
He looked up at you and all you saw was someone utterly wrecked. "Talk to me. Ask me a question. Ask about my day. Tell me your favorite color. You canāt just have me leave this room thinking that if I disappeared tomorrow, you'd just find some other guy with an 's' name to replace me."
You let out a low laugh and crawled back over his legs with a hungry kind of grace. "Well," you whispered, closing in until your lips brushed against his heated ear, "maybe you're just going to have to fuck your feelings into me, Sunghoon."
His breath caught at the sound of his name, his actual name finally leaving your mouth. You reached down, wrapping your hand around his soft length and started palming him with a soft touch until he was straining against your hand, thick and pulsing with a newfound grit.
Sunghoon looked up at you with so much desperate devastation, as if he was completely stripped of his usual arrogance. It was the most pathetic he had ever looked and ironically to you, it was the most attractive thing about him.
"You know," you admitted, your voice thick with sudden heat as you guided his tip to your entrance, "seeing you like this...so this ruined over me...it might be the first real thing I actually like about you."
A jolt of something dark and possessive ran in his gaze at your words. You began to sink yourself onto his cock again, the stretch making your eyes flutter shut while he tore your hoodie off you but you didn't get to find your rhythm.
Before you could even settle your weight, Sunghoon's hands shot out like lightning and gripped your waist with an unforgiving force. With something close to an animalistic growl, he flipped you over and your back hit the mattress with a heavy thud that knocked the air from your lungs. He didn't give you a second to recover, he was between your thighs instantly, his body was a nearly suffocating weight as he drove himself into you with a punishing thrust.
"You're a such a bitch," he snapped, sounding completely unhinged as he started pounding into your pussy. He was done being composed and rational, this was straight up anger fueled by three weeks of bruised ego.
He gripped your wrists and pinned them above your head, his hips slamming against yours so hard your headboard rattled against the wall. "Who the fuck is Sungmin anyway?" he hissed, his thrusts becoming even more frantic, more desperate to mark you. "Is he better than this? Does he fuck you this good? Call me his fucking name again while I'm pounding this pussy, I dare you."
You couldn't even get a coherent word out, your was head tossing back and forth against the pillow as your breath came in short sputters. Your brain had turned into complete mush, just entirely focused on the way his cock was ruthlessly bullying its way into your pussy. It felt like he was trying to reach your very soul with every bottoming out thrust, determined to leave a mark that no guy or anyone else could ever erase.
He adjusted your position mid stroke, pushing your legs up until your knees were pinned beside your ears and he was crushing you into a mating press. The shift in angle sent him even deeper inside you and had his cock hitting a spot that made your toes curl and your vision go white.
Sunghoon seemed to have lost his grip on reality entirely. As he pounded into you, his eyes were blown wide and hazy before he started mumbling to himself like a man possessed.
"What the fuck do you mean you don't like me?"
"I'm Park Sunghoon. I'm the Park Sunghoon. You have to like me...everyone fucking likes me. It's supposed to be easy."
His movements were unruly, from both his athleticism and now his ego driven desperation. He reached down between your bodies, making space for his thumb to find your swollen clit and begin to rub it with an unending pressure that synched with the pace he set with his hips.
The double assault was too much and you started trembling violently, the pleasure turning into something so sharp it almost felt like pain. "S-Sunghoon...oh fuck," you sobbed, hot tears finally spilling over as your body began to break under him, making you dig your nails into his back. It was too goodāso good it was damn near terrifying.
"Shit, Sunghoon! SunghoonāFuck! Itās so deep!" you cried out, your voice finally catching on his actual name, over and over again.
Hearing you scream his name with that much genuine pleasure seemed to flip a switch in him and he responded with a groan, his pace becoming even more eager. "That's it," his sweat was dripping onto your chest as he looked down at your fucked out face.
"Say my name again. Forget everyone else. Just me. You're going to remember this name for the rest of your life."
Sunghoon felt you hit that special peak when the internal muscles of your pussy clamped down on him and you squirted a little, the wetness slicked his thighs but he didnāt let up. Driven by a crazed desire to be the only thing on your mind, he shifted again, leaning back with your legs over his broad shoulders so you were completely open and vulnerable, where you were pinned beneath his heavy body.
He thrusted back in, his thick cock finding that perfect angle again. You started screaming as your head was thrashing against the sheets as well cause you felt yourself teetering right on the edge of you cumming. "I'm closeāRight there, Sunghoon! Please, I'm so close!"
But suddenly, the frantic pounding stopped and you seemed to think youād gone deaf when the sounds stopped before you realize heād slowed down his movements to an agonizing crawl, transitioning into a slow grind right against your most sensitive parts. He stayed deep inside you, rotating his hips in a way that kept the pressure constant but denied you the friction you needed to actually fall over the edge. You started shaking again, your hands clutching and slapping at his forearms while you begged him to keep going. "No, no, noāSunghoon, don't stop! Please!"
He looked down at you, his face flushed and his eyes dark with a possessive kind of power.
"Say you like me," he commanded in a steady voice, despite his own labored breathing.
"What?" you gasped, your mind spinning.
"Say you like me or you aren't cumming," he repeated, his hips giving you one more delicious slow roll against your internal sweet spot. "Say you like Park Sunghoon. Not just my dick. Say you like me."
By this point, you're completely delirious and the sensory deprivation of the delayed orgasm is making you sob. You were sobbing and your whole body was vibrating with the need for release. You'd say anything to make him move again.
"I like you! I like you, Sunghoon, I swear!" you cried out, the words tumbling out in a broken rush. "I like everything about you, please justājust let me cum!"
The validation hit him like a drug, he knew youāre probably just cock drunk but that didnāt stop the triumphant smirk that pulled at his lips when he finally resumed his brutal strokes. He didnāt hold back now, hammering into you with everything he had and in no time, he had you screaming his name as you squirted your juices all over his cock, your body arching off the bed in a violent, shrill climax.
Sunghoon watched you cum as his ego was finally fed by the sight of you completely ruined by him, he let out a groan and pulled out, his own cum hitting you hot and thick across your stomach. He collapsed beside you, chest heaving, looking at you with the gaze of a man who finally thinks he's won.
Sunghoon was still glowing from your frantic confession, his heart finally settling into a steady but prideful thrum. He had done it. He'd broken the code.
"My favorite color is blue," you said randomly in an airy and exhausted voice while you stared up at the ceiling.
Sunghoon's head snapped toward you, a boyish expression spreading across his face. He felt a surge of warmth that had nothing to do with the sex. You were finally talking to him, you were actually giving him a piece of yourself, however small.
"Blue," he repeated, committing it to memory like it was the most important piece of data he'd ever acquired. "Okay. That's good to know. We should go on a date this Saturday."
He was practically beaming, already planning the most perfect, over the top date in history to ensure you never ghosted him again.
He reached out to touch your cheek, in an uncharacteristically tender manner.
You let out a mischievous giggle that made his stomach flip. "Okay, Sungā"
You cut yourself off, letting the syllable hang in the air for a painfully dramatic second. Sunghoon felt his entire body stiffen, he swore his heart stopped beating and he felt the familiar prickle of panic rising in his chest. His eyes searched yours, losing his mind over the fact that youād forgotten his name again, wondering if you were about to shatter his heart all over again.
Hoon? Or...Min
"āhoon," you finished, a playful smirk dancing on your lips.
Sunghoon let out a long breath of relief, his shoulders slumping as he realized you were just teasing him. He rolled his eyes, a huffed laugh escaping him as he pulled you into his side, tucking your head under his chin. "You're a brat," he muttered, though there was no heat in it. "A complete brat. But you're going on that date with me and I'm going to make sure you never forget my name again."
"Mm. Weāll see." You teased
"Please stop that."
neneās note āā i was fully cackling when i was typing this cause not sunghoon in his kokomi teruhashi era. iāve had shit wifi/network all weekend so i havenāt been able to complete any of my smausš and i know i said i wouldnāt post but im sure you guys are used to my little white lies by now! enjoyyyyy, you know i love feedback!š
helloooooo enha tumblr! this is my 2nd fic rec post (i am on the fanfic side of this site way too much) hope you enjoy + please support all these amazing authors! send on any fic recs you have for me too āŗļø
kiss it better by @paarksunghoon
park jongseong is the kind of guy who likes to put his back against the wall to observe everybody before him and he likes the calm high only marijuana can provide when jake forces him out of his bedroom to socialize. enter you: a beautiful enigma in a black mini skirt and the only person who could get him higher than his favorite drug.
safehaven by @wonarchy
in which jang yn earns a job as a babysitter to the daughter of a dangerously handsome single father, and ends up spending most of her days with the small family, orā¦ in which jang yn slowly (and accidentally) makes her way into park jongseong's heart with her patience and skills and becomes his SAFEHAVEN.
one of the girls by @mssishipi
Kim Sunoo has always been one of the girls: soft-spoken, pretty, utterly devoted to the allure of men, men and more men. Women were never his thing, not reallyāespecially not you. You, with your cigarette-drenched, red fucking lips, that wicked mouth always spitting nonsense. He loathed your strut, your cruel tongue, those perfect, infuriating tits that made his cock twitch no matter how hard he tried to look away. And he hated the thought that maybe ā heās starting to think that he swings both ways after all.
keep it down by @heethera
you just moved into a new building, right across from three loud guys. two said sorry and the third couldnāt care less.
acts of service by @scorpieuns
completely drunk, fed up and bored with the dramatics of casual relationships and the continuous disappointment of hookupsāyou and your best friend decide the best way to solve this dilemma is being fuck buddies. But that was just a jokeā¦right?
AITA? by @jaysbaefie
in which you post about the most insufferable guy in your class on an AITA thread, only to find someone in the comments defending him a little too passionately.
after midnight by @wispyn
spring break always gets chaotic after midnight, so why not have a one night stand with a stranger?
hear me out by @aesprn
AITA for using my best friends inner thoughts to fuck with him throughout the week until he is forced to admit his feelings for me out loud?
when heeseung agrees to test jungwonās new dating sim game, girlfriend simulator, he expects a dumb, half finished game, until he boots it up on his switch, the screen glitches, and heās dragged straight into the world he just created. the āgirlfriendā character, you, isnāt scripted at all; and heeseung has to figure out how to get out while accidentally developing feelings for a girl who inconveniently does not exist in real life.
wikihow: to flirt (with pictures) by @jaylaxies
when the universityās untouchable campus god accidentally walks into a doorframe the literal second he lays eyes on you, you realize the rumors about park sunghoon being a smooth player are completely fabricated. now, you get a front-row seat to him desperately trying to follow a ten-step wikiHow guide on how to flirt, except you start to think that his clumsy, pathetic devotion is the most attractive thing you have ever seen.
stockholm syndrome by @heejamas
jake didnāt want a roommate, and you werenāt exactly thrilled either. it was supposed to be temporary, simple, nothing personal. except living together made everything personal. every glance, every fight, every late night that ended closer than it should have. thereās no neat label for what happens between you two, no clean line where it starts or ends. itās messy, itās reckless, itās addictive. and once it begins, neither of you really want it to stop.
hesitation by @stllmnstr
university au, reader is three years older than jungwon
hesitation part 2 by @mortaldreams
university au, smut
cherry pits by @asahicore
Your alarmingly empty bank account forces you to find a last-minute summer job so that you can afford a trip with your friends. The extremely handsome customer that comes into the store just happens to be a young single dad who's renovating the old house next to yours. The tension that settles between the two of you as you start helping him fix up his house soon becomes unbearable, but it's all one-sided anyway, right?
waiting room by @heejamas
for three years, you and heeseung have hovered between friendship and something moreāstolen glances, late-night car rides, hands brushing under tables. but when the waiting finally ends, you realize you were never just friends to begin with.
synopsis : living next door to lee heeseung has always been a nightmare loud, cocky, and impossible to ignore until one reckless night at a party leaves you waking up in his bed and running before it can mean anything you try to forget it ever happened, until two lines change everything, and suddenly the one person you canāt stand is the one you canāt escape.
pairing : basketball captain heeseung x neighbourf!reader
trope : accidental pregnancy + forced proximity
word count : 19.6k
warnings : heeseung is a an absolute asshole, accidental pregnancy, alot panic and guilt, abortion / termination discussion, fear of the future, alcohol use, one night stand, dirty talking, cursing, foreplay, dry humping, oral, drunk sex ( consent is present ) , unprotected sex, mild degradation, hair pulling, creampie
šÆļø JOās NOTES < š»āāļø 3 ! : omggg finallyy juno part one is out, hope you have an absolute amazing time when reading. navi did the proofreading for me ilysmm <3333
The bass from the apartment next door was so loud it made your pencil roll off the desk for the third time tonight thump thump thump. Each beat vibrated through the thin wall like it was personally trying to ruin your life.
You stared at the half finished notes in front of you, frustration bubbling hot in your chest. Midterms were in two weeks. Two weeks and Lee Heeseung, the campus golden boy, basketball captain, and your personal nightmare of a neighbor was throwing another one of his legendary parties like tomorrow didnāt exist.
This was the nth time. The nth damn time since youād moved in six months ago. With a sharp exhale, you shoved your chair back and stormed out of your apartment, not even bothering to change out of your oversized hoodie and sweatpants. The hallway reeked of spilled beer and expensive cologne.
You could already hear the chaos before you even reached his door. Laughter, glasses clinking, some girlās high pitched giggle cutting through the music.
You banged on the door harder than necessary. It took a few seconds before someone inside yelled over the noise, āYoo Heeseung! Someoneās banging at your front door!āThe door finally swung open.
Heeseung stood there in all his infuriating glory tall, broad shouldered, black hair slightly tousled like heād been running his hands through it. His button up was half undone, revealing a silver chain that rested on his collarbones and a glimpse of toned chest. Behind him, the party pulsed with red solo cups, dim lights, and at least half the basketball team.
A pretty girl with long hair and a tight dress was pressed close to his side, her hand resting possessively on his arm. Heād clearly been in the middle of charming her into his bed by the end of the night.
The second his dark eyes landed on you, that signature cocky smirk curved his lips.āHi, miss morals,ā he drawled, voice low and teasing, like heād been waiting for this exact interruption.
You rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle they didnāt get stuck. āCan you turn it down? The music is too loud.ā
Heeseung didnāt move. Instead, he leaned one shoulder against the doorframe, crossing his arms in a way that made his biceps strain against the fabric of his shirt. The girl behind him shifted, clearly annoyed at the sudden attention shift, but Heeseung didnāt spare her a glance now.
āMiss morals strikes again,ā he laughed, the sound rich and mocking. It sent an unwelcome spark of irritation down your spine. āWhatās the problem this time, neighbor? Come to bless us with your righteous presence?ā
āIām serious, Heeseung,ā you said, voice sharp as you folded your arms tightly across your chest. āNot everyone has the pleasure of partying all night. Others have to actually study to pass their exams whereas others can just have daddy pay for everything when they fuck up.āThe words hung in the air between you.
Heeseungās smirk faltered instantly. His jaw tightened, and he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. For a split second, something raw annoyance, maybe even hurt flashed across his face before he quickly shoved it back into that indifferent mask. His eyes darkened, the playful glint gone.
āWhatever,ā he muttered, voice suddenly flat and cold. āIāll lower the volume.āHe said, āThank you,ā you replied curtly, refusing to let the small victory show on your face even though your heart was hammering.
Heeseung didnāt say anything else. He simply stepped back and shut the door right in your face with a firm click that echoed down the empty hallway.
You stood there for a moment, staring at the closed wooden door, fists clenched at your sides. The music inside dropped almost immediately, not completely off, but low enough that you could finally breathe. Muffled laughter and voices still filtered through, but at least your walls wouldnāt shake anymore.
āAsshole,ā you whispered under your breath, turning on your heel and heading back to your apartment.As you closed your own door behind you, you leaned against it for a second, eyes closed. Why did he always have to make everything so difficult? Why did one look from him always manage to crawl under your skin like this?
You shook your head, forcing the thoughts away. Back to studying. Back to pretending Lee Heeseung didnāt exist. But deep down, you already knew tonightās silence between you two had just gotten a little louder.
You were halfway through rewriting your notes when your phone buzzed on the desk, the screen lighting up with a new message.
yunjin : you know sunghoon righttt? heās throwing a massive party after midterms and he personally invited me. pleeease come with me?? i donāt wanna go alone š„ŗ
You stared at the text, already feeling the familiar dread settle in your stomach. Another party of course. You typed back quickly
you : No thanks im good have fun tho
The two dots appeared immediately.
yunjin : babe come onnnn
yunjin : itās after midterms!! you deserve to relax
yunjin : sunghoonās parties are actually fun i swear
yunjin : thereāll be good music, free drinks, and i heard the basketball team is coming too š
You groaned, rubbing your temples. The last thing you wanted was to be anywhere near the basketball team especially not after tonightās lovely encounter with their captain.
you : exactly why Iām not going pass
yunjin : please please please i really like sunghoon and this could be my chance
yunjin : iāll owe you big time iāll even help you study for the next round of exams iāll buy you that expensive matcha you like for a month!!
You leaned back in your chair, biting your lip. Yunjin was relentless when she wanted something. And honestly she had been there for you through every late night breakdown this semester. Saying no felt a little cruel the pleading texts kept coming
yunjin : i wonāt leave your side the whole night ( she is lying )
yunjin : we can leave early if you hate it , pretty please with cherries on top?? š„ŗš
You sighed deeply, already knowing you were about to lose this battle.
you : fine, ONE HOUR thatās it if it sucks, weāre out.
yunjin : YESSSSS!!! youāre the best i love you so much
yunjin : we can dress up together at my place okay , see you tomorrow <33
You tossed your phone onto the desk and dropped your head into your hands. Great, just what you needed. Another night surrounded by loud music, drunk athletes, and the very real possibility of running into the Lee Heeseung again.
You glanced at the wall that separated your apartment from his. The music was still playing faintly, but at least it was bearable now. Just one party, you could survive one party right?
The next morning, the art history lecture hall was already filling up with the usual mix of sleepy students and last minute crammers when you slipped into your regular seat in the middle row.
The faint scent of fresh coffee and old books lingered in the air. Yunjin dropped dramatically into the chair on your right, her long hair still slightly damp from her morning shower, eyes bright with far too much excitement for a 9 am class.
On your left, Soobin settled in quietly, tall frame folding gracefully into the seat. He placed his neatly organized notebook on the desk and pulled out a perfectly sharpened pencil, offering you a soft, reassuring smile.
Soobin was always like this calm, steady, the kind of friend who showed up without making a fuss. He was the complete opposite of the loud, chaotic energy that seemed to follow Heeseung everywhere.
Yunjin, however, was already completely distracted. She was leaning forward, chin resting on her hand, openly staring toward the front rows where Sunghoon sat chatting with a couple of friends. Her gaze was soft and dreamy, a tiny smile tugging at her lips every time he laughed at something.
You nudged her arm with your elbow, voice low and teasing. āYouāre oogling him again itās getting embarrassing at this point.āYunjin didnāt even pretend to deny it. āIām not oogling, im appreciating art,ā she whispered back, still not tearing her eyes away. āLook at him heās literally perfect.ā
Soobin let out a quiet chuckle beside you, shaking his head as he flipped open his notebook. āSure āappreciatingā thatās why half your notes from last week were just little hearts around his name.ā He teased her, to which she replied,
āTraitor,ā Yunjin hissed playfully, finally glancing at both of you as her cheeks flushed pink. āYou two are supposed to be on my side.āThe light banter continued until Soobin turned to you, lowering his voice a little. āHey, I heard there was a party at Heeseungās last night, did you survive the noise?ā
You let out a long, dramatic groan and slumped back in your seat, the memory of last nightās confrontation still fresh and irritating. āBarely. That idiot had the music blasting so loud my textbooks were literally vibrating on the desk. I had to march over there in my hoodie and sweatpants like some angry neighbor from a sitcom again.ā
Soobin listened attentively, his expression patient and sympathetic. He never interrupted your rants or told you to just ignore it. He just nodded along, dark eyes focused on you, making you feel genuinely heard.
It was one of the many reasons you treasured his friendship he was thoughtful, kind, and never loud or arrogant for the sake of it. The polar opposite of Heeseung.
āAnd of course he answered the door half dressed with some girl hanging off his arm like a trophy,ā you continued, voice dripping with annoyance. āCalled me āmiss moralsā like itās the funniest joke in the world.
Then when I pointed out that not everyone has a rich daddy to bail them out when they party instead of studying, he got all pissy, sucked in this dramatic breath, and slammed the door right in my face. Heās such an entitled asshole.ā
Soobin hummed softly, a small frown creasing his brow. āThat sounds exhausting, you shouldāve texted me you know, i couldāve come over with snacks and we couldāve studied together instead of dealing with his nonsense alone.ā
You smiled faintly at the offer, warmth cutting through the irritation. āNext time, maybe at least someone in this building has basic human decency.ā
Yunjin finally tore her gaze away from Sunghoon long enough to grin at you. āHeeseungās just bored and likes getting a rise out of you if you stopped reacting, heād probably get bored and stop.ā
āEasy for you to say,ā you muttered, crossing your arms. āYou donāt have to live next door to the human equivalent of a walking migraine.āThe professor walked in moments later, cutting off any further complaints.
The next hour passed in a blur of projected slides on Renaissance techniques, quiet note taking, and the occasional whispered comment from Yunjin whenever Sunghoon shifted in his seat.
When class finally ended, the three of you packed up your things and joined the stream of students flowing out into the crowded hallway. The air was filled with chatter about upcoming midterms, weekend plans, and the usual campus gossip.
As you walked side by side, Yunjin suddenly looped her arm through yours, her excitement bubbling over again. āSo, about Sunghoonās party after midterms youāre definitely coming, right? And Soobin you should come too! Itāll be so much more fun with all three of us there.ā
Soobin blinked, surprised, his eyebrows raising slightly. āWait youāre actually going?ā He looked at you, genuinely shocked. āI thought you hated parties, especially ones thrown by the popular crowd.ā
You shrugged, already regretting your decision a little. āYunjin begged a lot and guilt tripped me with matcha promises. One hour max, if it sucks, Iām dragging her out.ā
Yunjin squealed happily and squeezed your arm. āSee? Sheās coming! So you have to come too, Soobinn please?āBefore Soobin could respond, a familiar voice cut through the hallway noise from behind you.
āCanāt imagine miss morals at a party but Iām looking forward to seeing you there.ā Your stomach dropped, you didnāt even have to turn around to know who it was.
Heeseung was leaning casually against a set of lockers a few feet away, arms crossed over his varsity jacket, that signature cocky smirk playing on his lips. He must have overheard the entire conversation.
His dark eyes locked onto yours with clear amusement, like he lived for these moments of catching you off guard.
You rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a verbal response. Heat crept up your neck partly from annoyance, partly from the embarrassment of him hearing your plans.
Yunjin stifled a laugh beside you while Soobin just shook his head quietly, a small, amused smile tugging at his mouth.
Heeseungās low chuckle followed you as the three of you kept walking, but you kept your gaze fixed straight ahead, jaw tight. God, you really, really hated that guy.Midterms week stretched into a brutal two week marathon, and as an art curator major, you felt every single hour of it in your bones.
Your apartment had become a war zone of curated chaos towering stacks of books on museum exhibition design, printed slides from Art Conservation and Curatorial Practices, mood boards pinned to the wall for your upcoming gallery proposal project, and color coded flashcards scattered across every surface.
Late nights blurred into early mornings as you hunched over your laptop, drafting proposals for hypothetical exhibits while trying to memorize the intricate history of 19th century European collections. Sleep was a distant dream. Caffeine was your only reliable companion.
And then there was Heeseung.
He didnāt blast music or bring girls over every single night that would have been almost predictable. No, he was crueler than that. He chose random days, like he knew exactly how to keep you off balance, turning your already exhausting study schedule into a minefield of unwanted interruptions.
The first time hit on the second night of midterms. You were deep into analyzing a case study on museum ethics when the wall behind your desk started to vibrate faintly. At first it was just low music.
Then came the giggles two distinct female voices, breathy and flirtatious. Heeseungās deep laugh cut through it all, followed by the unmistakable sound of bodies moving against furniture.
āFuck, Heeseung youāre so good at this,ā one of the girls moaned loudly, the words carrying crystal clear through the thin shared wall. The headboard started thumping a slow, steady rhythm against your wall rhythmic, insistent, growing faster.
You could hear the wet slap of skin, her exaggerated gasps turning into full throated cries every time he thrust.You yanked your noise canceling headphones on so hard the band dug into your temples, cranking the volume until classical music drowned most of it out.
But you could still feel it, the steady bang bang bang vibrating through your desk, through your chair, through your skull. Your cheeks burned with secondhand embarrassment and pure rage.
'Of course heās fucking some random girl while Iām trying to memorize the difference between Baroque and Rococo curation techniques.' You thought bitterly, stabbing your highlighter across the page. Must be nice to have zero responsibilities except basketball and dick appointments.
It stopped around 2 a.m., but the damage was done. You only managed three hours of sleep before your 8 a.m. lecture.
The next morning, you were running on pure spite and too much coffee when you caught Heeseung in the hallway just as he was stepping out of his apartment. He looked annoyingly fresh ā hair still damp from a shower, varsity jacket slung over one shoulder, that perpetual cocky smirk already in place.
You stopped right in front of him, arms crossed tightly. āKeep it down next time,ā you said flatly, voice low but sharp. āSome of us are actually trying to pass our midterms instead of auditioning for porn.ā
Heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. āAw, miss morals heard everything? Didnāt know you were such a light sleeper.ā You glared at him, heat rising to your cheeks. āJust tone it down, the headboard banging is ridiculous.ā
He chuckled lowly, the sound sending another spike of irritation through you. āNoted.ā Then he leaned in slightly, voice dropping. āThough from the sounds of it last night, she seemed to enjoy the banging.ā
You rolled your eyes and walked away without another word, his soft laugh following you down the hall.The next disruption came four days later. A random Thursday when you had a massive group project due on modern curatorial strategies.
Youād just settled in with your laptop open to a half finished exhibition proposal when his door slammed open down the hall. One girl this time, but she was even louder.
The moment they got inside, the sounds started again her high pitched whimpers, Heeseungās low, cocky murmurs āYeah? You like that? Tell me how much you want itā followed by the unmistakable wet sounds of them going at it on what sounded like his couch first, then migrating to the bed.
The headboard slammed against the wall so hard your framed print of Van Goghās Starry Night rattled. Her moans turned into broken sobs of pleasure, each one punctuated by Heeseungās grunts and the filthy slap of bodies. āHarder fuck, right there, Heeseung donāt stopāā
You ended up studying in your bed instead, laptop balanced on your knees, pillows stacked around you like a fortress. Headphones on full blast. Still, every thrust made the wall tremble.
Every moan crawled under your skin and made focusing on your notes feel impossible. By the time they finally finished (or at least quieted down) around midnight, your eyes were burning and your proposal was only half done.
You hated how your body reacted sometimes not with attraction, but with pure, simmering resentment that made your stomach twist.That same night, after the noises finally stopped, you grabbed your phone in a fit of exhausted anger and texted him.
you : keep the noise down, some people are trying to study for actual grades, not coast on basketball talent and daddyās money
His reply came faster than you expected. A picture popped up first. A close up selfie of Heeseung lying in bed, shirtless, messy hair, lazy smirk on his face, with the caption
heeseung : sorry, miss morals hard to stay quiet when they scream my name like that
heeseung : next time iāll try to fuck quieter or maybe you can just join and tell me how to do it right?
You stared at the message, face flaming with a mix of rage and disbelief. You immediately blocked the image from your mind ( and definitely did not linger on the way his abs looked in the dim lighting ) before typing back a single furious reply
you : delete my number, asshole
The worst random night came during the final stretch, just three days before your last exams.
You were pulling an all nighter on your capstone project a full digital mock up of a contemporary art exhibit youād spent weeks perfecting when the noises started again around 11 p.m. This time it was two girls.
Their laughter spilled into the hallway first, then straight through your wall. Heeseungās voice was low and teasing, the kind of filthy charm that probably worked on every girl on campus.
Soon the bed was creaking loudly, headboard banging in a frantic rhythm while both girls moaned in tandem one breathy and high, the other deeper and more desperate.
āHeeseung oh god, yes fuck me like thatāā mixed with wet, obscene sounds that left zero doubt about exactly what was happening next door. The wall vibrated so intensely your coffee mug slid an inch across the desk.
You sat there in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants, staring at your glowing screen, jaw clenched so tight it ached. Every moan, every dirty encouragement from Heeseung, every rhythmic thud felt like a personal attack on the one thing you actually cared about your future.
Your grades, your dream of curating real exhibitions someday. While Iām over here trying not to fail out of the only thing Iām good at, you thought, fingers flying angrily across the keyboard, heās over there living his best life with a rotating cast of girls screaming his name.
You wore the headphones until your ears rang. You even tried white noise apps, earplugs underneath nothing fully blocked it. The sex noises went on for nearly two hours that night, loud and shameless, until they finally quieted around 1:30 a.m.
By the end of the two weeks, you were running on fumes dark circles under your eyes, caffeine shakes in your hands, and a permanent knot of irritation lodged in your chest whenever you passed his door.
The random nights had been spaced out just enough to feel like psychological warfare instead of constant chaos.Heeseung never once toned it down. Never once seemed to care that someone on the other side of the wall was actually trying to build a future that didnāt involve daddyās money or NBA scouts.
When Friday morning finally arrived and your last exam was over, you dragged yourself back to the apartment building, shoulders heavy with exhaustion. The hallway was quiet for once. Heeseungās door looked innocently closed.
You unlocked your own door, stepped inside, and immediately collapsed face first onto your bed, still in your clothes midterms were done.But the resentment toward the boy next door had only grown sharper and Sunghoonās party was tonight. You groaned into your pillow one hour in and out. Just donāt kill Heeseung on sight.
You took the quickest shower of your life, and changed into the first comfortable outfit you could findāa simple black crop top that showed just a sliver of your midriff and your favorite pair of dark jeansācomfortable, practical, safe.
You texted Yunjin that you were ready to head over to her place to āget ready together,ā secretly hoping she wouldnāt make a big deal out of your clothesābig mistake. Yunjinās apartment was only two blocks away, and the second you stepped inside, she took one look at you and gasped like you had personally offended her.
āNo no absolutely not,ā she declared, hands on her hips, eyes scanning you up and down with pure horror. āYou cannot go to Sunghoonās party looking like that.ā
You glanced down at yourself, confused. āWhatās wrong with this? Itās cute itās comfortable.āāCute? Comfortable?ā Yunjin repeated, already dragging you toward her bedroom like a woman on a mission.
āBabe, weāre going to a party, not the library. You just survived two weeks of hell tonight youāre supposed to look hot, not like youāre about to give a museum tour.ā
Before you could protest, she flung open her closet and started pulling out clothes with frightening speed. She held up a black mini skirt dangerously short, made of soft leather like material and a sheer black button up shirt that was practically see through.
āTry these,ā she ordered, shoving the hanger into your hands. You stared at the outfit like it might bite you. āYunjin, no way, that skirt is barely legal and the shirt is see through iām not wearing that.ā
āYes way, you are,ā she sang, already pushing you toward the bathroom. āYou agreed to come to the party that means youāre under my styling jurisdiction for tonight go change nowā
You argued the entire time you were changing. āThis is ridiculous! im going to freeze, people are going to stare i look like Iām trying way too hardāā
But Yunjin was relentless. The second you stepped out in the mini skirt and sheer shirt ( with a black bralette underneath so you werenāt completely exposed ), she clapped her hands and squealed.
āOh my god, yes! Look at you!ā She spun you around in front of her full length mirror. The skirt hugged your hips and ended high on your thighs, making your legs look longer.
The sheer shirt draped softly over your shoulders, the black bralette visible underneath in a way that was teasing but not outright scandalous. āYou look insane like, dangerously hot.ā
You tugged at the hem of the skirt, cheeks burning. āI feel naked. Can't I at least wear the jeans over this or something?āāNo,ā she said firmly, already sitting you down in front of her vanity. āWeāre doing makeup now sit still.ā
For the next twenty minutes, Yunjin worked her magic. Winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut glass, soft smoky eyes, a touch of highlighter on your cheekbones, and a bold red lip that made your mouth look fuller. She even styled your hair into loose, effortless waves that framed your face perfectly.
When she finally stepped back, she let out a satisfied sigh.āAnyone would worship the ground you walk on looking like this,ā she said, grinning proudly. āTrust me tonight, youāre not the stressed out art curator girl who yells at her neighbor. Youāre the girl who turns heads even Heeseung wonāt know what to do with himself when he sees you.ā
You rolled your eyes, but a small flutter of nerves mixed with reluctant confidence settled in your stomach as you looked at your reflection. The outfit was way bolder than anything youād normally wear, but you had to admit it looked good.
āFine,ā you muttered, smoothing down the skirt one last time. āBut if I hate it, weāre leaving early and if Heeseung says one word about āmiss moralsā in this outfit, Iām pouring a drink on him.āYunjin laughed and linked her arm with yours. āDeal now letās go make Sunghoonās party unforgettable.ā
You and Yunjin barely made it out of her apartment before your phone buzzed with a text from Soobin saying he was already waiting downstairs. The three of you had agreed he would drive so none of you had to worry about getting home later.
The elevator ride down felt too short. Your heart was already beating a little faster than usual partly from the unfamiliar outfit, partly from the knowledge that you were actually going to a party after surviving two brutal weeks of midterms.
The black mini skirt kept riding up slightly with every step, and you kept tugging nervously at the hem while Yunjin wouldnāt stop complimenting how good you looked.
When you stepped out of the building into the cool evening air, Soobinās car was parked right in front, engine idling. He was leaning casually against the driverās side, scrolling through his phone, but the moment he looked up and saw the two of you approaching, his eyes widened noticeably.
Especially when they landed on you. Soobin froze for a second, his usual calm expression cracking into pure, genuine shock. His gaze traveled slowly from your loose waves and sharp winged eyeliner, down to the sheer black shirt that subtly revealed the black bralette underneath, then to the dangerously short leather like mini skirt that made your legs look endless.
He blinked once, twice, before quickly clearing his throat and straightening up, ears turning a light shade of pink.āWowā he said, voice a little higher than his normal soft tone. āYou both look really nice like, really nice.ā
Yunjin grinned triumphantly, looping her arm through yours and squeezing. āSee? Told you! Even Soobin is shook, she looks hot, right?ā
You felt heat creep up your neck and quickly crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly hyper aware of how different you looked from your usual oversized hoodie and jeans self.
āItās all Yunjinās doing. She basically held me hostage in her room until I changed. I tried to wear my normal clothes and she acted like I committed a crime.ā
Soobin gave a small, shy laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as he opened the back door for both of you like the gentleman he was. āNo, it really suits you, you look great tonight.ā His compliment was sincere and gentle, making the awkwardness feel a little softer. āReady to go? Sunghoonās place isnāt too far from here.ā
The car ride was filled with easy, light chatter that helped calm your nerves. Yunjin sat in the front passenger seat, already buzzing with excitement about seeing Sunghoon, while you sat in the back, occasionally tugging at your skirt and staring out the window at the passing streetlights.
Soobin kept the conversation flowing comfortably, light complaints about how brutal midterms had been, predictions about how wild the party might get, and Yunjinās endless teasing about how
Sunghoon had āpersonally invitedā her. Every now and then Soobin would glance at you through the rearview mirror, still looking a little flustered whenever your eyes met.
Before you knew it, Soobin was pulling up to a large off campus house that was already pulsing with loud music and flashing colored lights. Cars lined both sides of the street, and groups of people were laughing and chatting on the front lawn, red cups in hand.
The three of you climbed out of the car, and the heavy bass from inside immediately hit you like a wave. The night air smelled like a mix of cheap beer, sweet perfume, and fresh cut grass. Yunjin practically bounced on her heels with excitement as the three of you walked up the pathway toward the front door.
Sunghoon was standing right at the entrance, playing the perfect host in a simple black shirt and jeans. His sharp, handsome features broke into a warm, genuine smile the moment he spotted your group approaching.
āHey! You guys actually made it,ā he greeted cheerfully, voice carrying easily over the noise from inside. His eyes lingered on Yunjin for an extra beat, a soft grin tugging at his lips. āYunjin, glad you came and you brought friends, nice.ā
He gave Soobin a friendly nod and then turned his attention to you, eyebrows raising slightly in pleasant surprise as he took in your bold outfit. āHey! you clean up really well. Welcome to the party, hope you guys have fun tonight.ā
You managed a small, polite smile, still feeling slightly out of your element. āThanks for inviting us.āSunghoon handed each of you a red solo cup filled with something fruity and strong smelling a sweet cocktail that had a sharp kick of alcohol when you took your first cautious sip.
āDrinks are flowing inside help yourselves to whatever you want. Thereās food in the kitchen, beer pong in the living room, and dancing. Pretty much everywhere enjoy!ā
Yunjin thanked him brightly, her cheeks already a little flushed with excitement, and steered you and Soobin further into the crowded house. The interior was packed wall to wall with people.
Students were laughing loudly, dancing in the middle of the living room, playing intense games of beer pong, and making out in dimly lit corners. The music was loud but not yet overwhelming, colorful lights flashing across the walls and bodies.
For the first few minutes, the three of you stuck close together, weaving through the crowd while sipping your drinks. Soobin stayed protectively near your side, occasionally leaning down to say something quiet and reassuring whenever he noticed you looking a bit overwhelmed by the chaos.
Then you felt it. That familiar, annoying prickle on the back of your neck, like someone was watching you. You turned your head slightly, and there he was.
Heeseung was leaning casually against the wall near the staircase, a red cup dangling from his fingers. He was surrounded by a small group of his closest friendsāBeomgyu laughing at something on his phone, Jake with his usual bright smile, and Jay nursing his own drink while scanning the room.
Heeseung looked effortlessly good tonight in a black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his toned forearms, and dark jeans that sat low on his hips. His hair was styled in that signature messy but perfect way.
The moment his dark eyes found you across the crowded room, his conversation with the guys stopped mid sentence.
His gaze dragged slowly and shamelessly down your body, taking in the short black mini skirt that hugged your hips and thighs, the sheer shirt that teased the black bralette underneath, the way the outfit accentuated your curves before snapping back up to your face.
For once, his usual cocky smirk didnāt appear instantly. Instead, there was a flash of genuine surprise, followed by something darker, more heated, and appreciative.
He pushed off the wall and started walking straight toward your group, completely ignoring whatever Beomgyu was saying behind him.
āWell, well, well,ā Heeseung drawled when he was close enough, his voice cutting smoothly through the music. His eyes were still shamelessly roaming over you. āLook who decided to show up. Miss morals in a mini skirt i almost didnāt recognize you damn.ā
You felt your stomach twist with that familiar mix of irritation and unwanted warmth. Before you could even open your mouth to snap back, Yunjin jumped in defensively, stepping slightly in front of you with a bright but sharp smile.
āExcuse me, Heeseung? She looks amazing, and she doesnāt need your backhanded compliments,ā Yunjin said, tilting her head with fake sweetness.
āUnlike some people who only know how to throw loud parties and bring random girls over during midterms, maybe focus on your own game instead of commenting on her outfit.ā
Heeseung chuckled lowly, clearly amused by Yunjinās quick defense, but his eyes never left you. Jake, Beomgyu, and Jay were now watching the exchange from a few feet away, Beomgyu smirking like he was enjoying the show and Jake looking mildly entertained.
āRelax, Yunjin,ā Heeseung replied smoothly, taking a sip from his cup. āIām just saying that she cleaned up dangerous tonight, didnāt think our neighbor owned anything shorter than ankle length. Beomgyu, Jake, Jay back me up here. She looks good, right?ā
Beomgyu grinned and raised his cup in a lazy toast. āYeah, she do be looking fire tonight.āJake nodded with a bright laugh. āFor real, new look suits you.āJay just shook his head with a small smile, staying quiet but clearly entertained.
You rolled your eyes, lifting your red solo cup to your lips to hide the flush creeping up your cheeks. āDonāt start with me tonight, Heeseung iām only here for one hour, and Iād rather not spend it dealing with your nonsense.ā
Heeseung tilted his head, that signature cocky smirk fully back in place now as he took another slow step closer. The way he was looking at you made the noisy room feel suddenly ten degrees warmer.
āGonna dance tonight, or are you just here to supervise everyone elseās fun like usual, miss morals?ā
You didnāt even give Heeseung the satisfaction of a proper reply. Instead, you flipped him off with a sharp middle finger, turned on your heel, and grabbed Yunjinās arm. āCome on, letās go.ā
Yunjin laughed loudly, clearly proud of your reaction, and let you drag her deeper into the crowded house while Heeseungās low chuckle followed behind you. Beomgyu, Jake, and Jay were already teasing him in the background, but you refused to look back.
For the first half hour, the party actually felt manageable. You stuck close to Yunjin and Soobin, sipping from your red solo cup and people watching from a quieter corner of the living room.
The music was loud, the lights flashed in rhythm with the bass, and the alcohol slowly started to loosen the tight knot of stress that midterms had left in your chest. Then Sunghoon appeared again.
He approached your group with that easy, charming smile, eyes mostly locked on Yunjin. āHey want to dance?āYunjinās face lit up like heād just offered her the moon. She turned to you quickly, squeezing your hand. āYouāll be okay for a bit, right? Iāll be right back!ā
Before you could even answer, she was gone, disappearing into the sea of bodies on the dance floor with Sunghoonās hand on her waist, now it was just you and Soobin.
You tried to keep the conversation light, but the longer you stood there, the more the party energy started to pull at you. The drink in your cup was strong and sweet, and after two weeks of pure academic hell, the idea of letting loose felt dangerously tempting.
āFuck it,ā you muttered under your breath. You downed the rest of your drink in one go, the burn sliding warmly down your throat. Then you grabbed another cup from a passing tray and started sipping again. Why not? Midterms were over. You deserved this.
Soobin noticed and raised an eyebrow, but he didnāt judge. He stayed beside you, chatting quietly, making sure you werenāt completely alone. But after a while, you started feeling guilty. He was sweet, always listening, always there and here he was babysitting you instead of enjoying the party.
āGo talk to your friends,ā you told him, giving him a gentle push toward a group of guys waving at him from across the room. āSeriously, Soobin iāll be fine, i donāt want you wasting your night stuck with me. Go have fun iāll text you if I need anything.ā
He hesitated, looking concerned, but you begged him with your best pleading eyes until he finally nodded. āOkay but stay safe, text me if anything feels off.ā
Once Soobin walked away to join his friends, you let yourself drift toward the dance floor. The alcohol was hitting nicely now a warm, fuzzy buzz that made the music feel better and your body lighter.
You moved to the edge of the crowd first, swaying gently, then slowly worked your way deeper into the pulsing bodies.
You didnāt notice him at first. But Heeseung had been watching you the entire time. From the moment Yunjin disappeared with Sunghoon, his eyes had followed you. He watched you down your drinks. He watched you convince Soobin to leave.
And now he watched as you finally stepped fully onto the dance floor, hips moving to the heavy beat, the short black mini skirt riding up just enough to draw attention, the sheer shirt catching the flashing lights.
Heeseung set his cup down and started moving through the crowd toward you, slow and deliberate. When he was close enough, he didnāt just grab you like most guys would. Instead, he leaned in slightly, voice low and surprisingly respectful against the loud music.
āHey can I dance with you?ā
You turned your head, alcohol making you bold. Your eyes met his, and for once, you didnāt immediately snap at him. The buzz in your veins, the way he was looking at you like he couldnāt look awayā¦it made something reckless spark inside you.
You nodded āYeah okay.ā Only then did Heeseung step closer. The moment he did, the space between you disappeared. His body pressed lightly against yours at first, hands hovering respectfully before you started moving together.
The music was sensual, slow and heavy, and your bodies naturally fell into rhythm. It didnāt stay innocent for long. Heeseungās hands gradually grew bolder one sliding to your waist, the other brushing up your side, fingers grazing the sheer fabric of your shirt.
You moved closer, hips rolling against his, the short skirt brushing against his thighs. His touch grew hotter, palms sliding down to grip your hips, then slowly roaming over the curve of your ass, pulling you flush against him.
The air between you thickened. Your breathing grew heavier. Every brush of his body sent sparks through your skin. Heeseung leaned in, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he spoke, voice low. āfuck, not being able to kiss you right now is actual torture.ā
The words hit you like a shot of pure heat. The alcohol, the weeks of built up tension, the way his hands felt all over your body everything crashed together in one reckless moment.
You didnāt think, you just acted. turning your head as you grabbed the front of his shirt, and crashed your lips against his.
The kiss was messy, desperate, and instantly wild. Heeseung groaned into your mouth the second your lips met, one hand flying up to cup the back of your neck while the other tightened possessively on your waist, pulling you even harder against him.
You kissed like you were angry at each otherāteeth clashing, tongues sliding hot and deep, lips moving with raw hunger.
Heeseung kissed like heād been waiting for this exact moment. His mouth was demanding, devouring, tilting your head to kiss you deeper. You moaned softly against him, fingers threading into his hair and tugging, which only made him kiss you harder.
The dance floor disappeared around you. The music faded into background noise. There was only the heat of his body, the taste of alcohol on his tongue, and the way his hands roamed greedily over your curves sliding up your back under the sheer shirt, gripping your hips, pressing you so close you could feel exactly how much he wanted you.
The makeout was crazy sloppy, passionate, breathless. You bit his lower lip, and he responded with a low growl, sucking on your tongue before kissing you even harder.
Your bodies moved together to the beat, grinding slowly while your mouths stayed locked in a heated battle.
When you finally pulled back for air, both of you were panting, lips swollen and shiny. Heeseungās eyes were dark, pupils blown wide as he stared down at you like he wanted to devour you right there on the dance floor.
āShitā he breathed, forehead resting against yours. āYouāre going to kill me tonight.āThe kiss finally broke, both of you breathing hard, lips swollen and glistening under the flashing party lights.
Heeseungās forehead rested against yours, his hands still gripping your hips like he was afraid youād disappear if he let go.
His eyes were dark, pupils blown with want, and the way he looked at you sent another rush of heat straight through your body.
You didnāt think. The alcohol, the weeks of hating him, the way his hands had felt all over you everything made you reckless. You leaned in closer, voice low and breathless against his ear. āWanna go back to your apartment?ā
Heeseung pulled back just enough to look at you, a dangerous smirk tugging at his swollen lips. For a split second, surprise flashed across his face, but it quickly melted into pure hunger.
āFuck yesā
He didnāt waste another second. His hand slid down to grab yours firmly, fingers lacing tight as he started pulling you through the crowded dance floor. People moved out of the way as Heeseung cut a path toward the front door, his grip on you possessive and urgent.
You barely had time to register anything else Yunjin and Soobin were somewhere in the house, but right now, none of that mattered.The cool night air hit your flushed skin the moment you stepped outside, but it did nothing to calm the fire burning in your veins.
Heeseungās car was parked a little down the street. He didnāt let go of your hand the entire way, and the second you reached the passenger side, he opened the door for you with surprising speed before rounding the car and sliding into the driverās seat.
The moment the doors closed, the tension exploded again. Heeseung started the engine, but you were already growing impatient. The short drive back to your apartment building felt too long. Every red light, every stop sign made the ache between your legs worse.
You kept stealing glances at him his jaw tight, hands gripping the steering wheel, the way his shirt was slightly undone from your earlier tugging. At the third red light, you couldnāt hold it in anymore.āFuck this,ā you muttered.
Before Heeseung could react, you unbuckled your seatbelt, climbed over the center console, and straddled his lap in one swift motion. The mini skirt rode up high on your thighs as you settled on top of him, your hands immediately cupping his face as you crashed your lips back onto his.
Heeseung groaned loudly into the kiss, his hands flying to your waist to steady you. The kiss was even wilder than on the dance floor desperate, messy, all tongue and teeth. You rocked your hips against him, grinding down slowly at first, then harder, feeling him harden beneath you through his jeans.
His hands roamed greedily, one sliding up under your sheer shirt to palm your breast over the bralette, the other gripping your ass and pulling you tighter against his growing bulge.
āShit youāre driving me crazy,ā he muttered against your mouth between kisses, voice rough and wrecked.
You moaned softly, grinding down harder, the friction sending sparks through your entire body. The car windows started to fog up as you moved together, lips never leaving each other for long.
Heeseungās tongue slid against yours, deep and filthy, while his hips bucked up to meet your movements, the steering wheel pressing into your back.
You were completely lost in him hands in his hair, tugging, lips sucking on his bottom lip, hips rolling in desperate circles when the sharp sound of honking suddenly pierced through the haze.
Once, twice, then a chorus of angry car horns blaring behind you reality crashed back in.
You pulled away from the kiss with a gasp, lips shiny and swollen, breathing ragged. The light had turned green, and the cars lined up behind you were laying on their horns, some drivers shouting out their windows.
Heeseung let out a breathless laugh, his hands still gripping your thighs tightly. His eyes were dark, hair messy from your fingers, lips red and kiss bitten.āFuck,ā he rasped, voice hoarse. āWeāre gonna cause an accident if you keep this up.ā
You quickly scrambled back into the passenger seat, heart pounding, cheeks burning with a mix of embarrassment and lingering arousal.
Your skirt was hiked up dangerously high, and you tugged it down with shaky hands while Heeseung adjusted himself in his seat, clearly struggling to focus on the road.
He shot you a heated sideways glance, smirk returning as he pressed the gas pedal.āAlmost home,ā he said, voice low and promising. āTry not to jump me again until weāre inside or donāt. I'm not complaining.ā
The rest of the short drive was torturous. The air in the car was thick with tension, both of you stealing glances, the memory of your grinding still fresh and electric.
When Heeseung finally pulled into the parking spot outside your shared apartment building, he killed the engine and turned to you, eyes blazing.
The second you were both out of the car, he grabbed your hand again and practically dragged you toward the entrance, the promise of what was about to happen hanging heavy between you.
The second the door to Heeseungās apartment slammed shut behind you, all restraint vanished.He had you pinned against the wood before you could even catch your breath, mouth crashing back onto yours in a filthy, open mouthed kiss.
His hands were everywhere one sliding up under your sheer shirt to palm your breast roughly, the other gripping your ass and yanking your hips flush against the hard line of his cock already straining in his jeans.
āBeen thinking about this since you walked in wearing that tiny fucking skirt,ā he growled against your lips, biting your bottom lip hard enough to make you moan. āLook at you acting like such a good girl all semester and now youāre begging to get fucked in my bed.ā
You didnāt deny it you couldnāt. The alcohol and weeks of pent up hatred had turned into pure, desperate need. You tugged at his shirt buttons, popping a few open in your haste, and Heeseung chuckled darkly before ripping the rest off himself.
The shirt hit the floor. Yours followed a second later, then your bralette, leaving your tits exposed to the cool air of his apartment.
Heeseungās mouth was on your neck instantly, sucking a mark right below your jaw while his hands squeezed your breasts, thumbs flicking over your nipples until they were hard and aching. āSo fucking pretty when youāre needy like this,ā he muttered, voice low and rough. āBet youāre already soaked for me, huh?ā
You whimpered when he shoved the mini skirt up around your waist and cupped you over your panties. His fingers pressed against the soaked fabric, rubbing slow circles over your clit.
āShit you are dripping already.ā He smirked against your throat. āSuch a dirty little secret youāve been hiding, miss morals.ā
You didnāt have time to snap back. Heeseung dropped to his knees right there in the entryway, hooked your panties to the side, and buried his face between your thighs without warning. His tongue dragged a long, nasty stripe up your pussy, groaning at the taste of you.
āOh my godāā Your head thunked back against the door as he licked and sucked like a man starved, two fingers sliding inside you easily because you were so wet.
He curled them perfectly, pumping fast while his tongue flicked mercilessly over your clit. The sounds were obscene wet, sloppy, loud and he didnāt care. He ate you like he wanted to ruin you.
You came hard on his tongue within minutes, thighs shaking, fingers yanking at his hair as you cried out his name. Heeseung didnāt stop until you were trembling and pushing at his head, then he stood up, lips shiny with your arousal, and kissed you deep so you could taste yourself.
āBedroom now,ā he ordered.
He didnāt wait for you to walk. He grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you like you weighed nothing, carrying you down the short hallway while your legs wrapped around his waist.
Your skirt was still bunched around your hips, panties shoved to the side. You could feel his cock pressing against your soaked core with every step.
The second he kicked his bedroom door open, he dropped you onto the bed. You barely had time to bounce before he was stripping the rest of his clothes off. His jeans and boxers hit the floor and his cock sprang freeāthick, hard, and already leaking at the tip.
Your mouth watered at the sight. Heeseung climbed over you, caging you in with his arms. āYou want this?ā he asked, voice dark, one hand stroking his cock slowly as he looked down at you. āTell me you want it.ā
āI want it,ā you breathed, reaching down to wrap your hand around him. āFuck me, Heeseung.āThat was all it took.
He shoved your legs apart wider, lined himself up, and pushed in with one long, brutal thrust. You gasped at the stretch, nails digging into his shoulders as he bottomed out inside you, so deep you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
āFuck, so tight,ā he groaned, forehead dropping to yours. āTaking me so well already.āThen he started moving hard fast and filthy.
The headboard slammed against the wall with every thrust, the same wall that separated your apartments. The irony wasnāt lost on you, but you couldnāt bring yourself to care.
Heeseung fucked you like heād been imagining this exact moment for months.Deep, punishing strokes that made your tits bounce and your breath hitch.
He grabbed one of your legs and hooked it over his shoulder, folding you in half so he could fuck you even deeper. The new angle made you cry out, the wet slap of skin on skin echoing through the room.
āLook at you,ā he rasped, eyes locked on where his cock was disappearing inside you. āTaking every inch like a good little slut, who wouldāve thought the girl next door gets this fucking nasty?ā
The degradation was light, just enough to make your pussy clench harder around him. You moaned louder, hips trying to meet his thrusts.
Heeseungās hand slid between your bodies, thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit while he pounded into you.
āCome on, baby. Come on my cock again, wanna feel you squeezing me.ā You shattered for the second time, back arching, walls fluttering around his thick length as your orgasm crashed through you. Heeseung fucked you through it, hips never slowing, chasing his own release.
āFuckā Iām close,ā he growled, voice strained. āWhere do you want it?ā He asked, āInside,ā you gasped, still riding the high. āCome inside me.ā
Heeseung cursed loudly, thrusting a few more brutal times before he buried himself to the hilt and came hard. You felt every pulse, every hot spurt filling you up as he groaned your name against your neck, hips jerking through the aftershocks.
For a moment the only sounds were both of you breathing hard, bodies slick with sweat.
Heeseung stayed inside you for a long minute, forehead pressed to yours, before he finally pulled out slowly. A trickle of his cum leaked out of you onto the sheets, and he watched it with dark, satisfied eyes then collapsed beside you.
Instead of pulling away, Heeseung immediately reached for you. He wrapped one strong arm around your waist and tugged you against his chest, your back flush to his front in a tight, warm hug. His other hand gently pulled the duvet up over both of you, cocooning your naked bodies in soft warmth.
You were still sticky with sweat and cum, thighs trembling, but the way he held you possessive yet surprisingly gentle made something soft flutter in your chest despite everything.
Heeseung pressed a lazy kiss to the back of your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin.āStay,ā he murmured, voice already thick with sleep as he tightened his arm around you. āJust stay.ā
Exhausted, fucked out, and strangely comforted by his warmth, you let your eyes drift shut. His steady heartbeat against your back and the heavy duvet wrapped around you lulled you quickly into sleep, safe in Heeseungās arms for the night.
The first thing you registered was the pounding in your head. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, the dim light filtering through unfamiliar curtains making everything feel hazy. The digital clock on the nightstand glowed red 4:28 a.m.
Your mouth was dry, throat scratchy, and a dull throb pulsed behind your temples the unmistakable aftermath of too many drinks and not nearly enough sleep. You shifted slightly under the heavy duvet, and thatās when you felt it.
A warm, solid body pressed against your back. An arm draped heavily over your waist, holding you close skin against skin. The faint scent of cologne, sweat, and something distinctly masculine filled your senses.
Your heart slammed against your ribs. Memories from last night crashed over you like ice water.
The party, the red solo cup dancing. Heeseungās hands all over your body on the dance floor. The reckless invitation. The car ride where youād climbed into his lap like you had no shame.
The way heād pinned you against his door, dropped to his knees in the entryway, fucked you hard on his bed until you were crying out his name. The filthy sounds. The way heād filled you up. The way heād pulled you against his chest afterward, hugging you tight under the duvet as you both drifted off.
You had fucked Lee Heeseung
You had fucked your loud, cocky, insufferable neighbor the basketball captain youād spent months complaining about, the one who called you āMiss Moralsā like it was the funniest joke in the world.
Mortification burned hot through your entire body. Your stomach twisted violently. What the hell had you been thinking? The alcohol had stripped away every ounce of common sense, and now you were lying naked in his bed, his cum still faintly sticky between your thighs, his arm wrapped around you like you belonged there.
Heeseung was still sound asleep behind you, breathing deep and even, his chest rising and falling steadily against your back. His face was relaxed in sleep no smirk, no cocky grin but you knew the second he woke up, everything would change.
He would never let you live this down. The teasing would be relentless. āMiss moralsā would turn into something far worse. Heād smirk every time he saw you in the hallway, make dirty little comments about how loud youād been, how desperate youād sounded begging for him.
The walls between your apartments were thin heād probably bring it up every time you complained about his noise again. Your life next door would become a living hell.You couldnāt stay here.
Panic clawed up your throat. You had to leave before he woke up. Before this became real. Before he opened his eyes and looked at you with that knowing, satisfied smirk.
Carefully, so carefully, you lifted his arm from your waist. He stirred slightly but didnāt wake, murmuring something incoherent under his breath. Your heart hammered as you slowly slid out from under the duvet, the cool air hitting your naked skin and raising goosebumps.
You moved like a ghost around his room, gathering your scattered clothes as quietly as possible. Your sheer black shirt, the black bralette, the dangerously short mini skirt, your panties all crumpled on the floor where theyād been tossed in the heat of the moment.
You dressed as fast as you could, fingers trembling as you buttoned the sheer shirt and tugged the mini skirt down your thighs. Your hair was a mess, makeup probably smudged, but you didnāt care. You just needed to get out.
Barefoot, shoes in hand, you tiptoed toward the bedroom door. Every creak of the floorboards felt deafening. You glanced back once at Heeseung still asleep, one arm now stretched across the empty space where youād been, dark hair messy against the pillow.
A strange, unwelcome pang twisted in your chest, but you shoved it down hard. This never happened.
You slipped out of his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind you. The living room was dark and silent. You navigated through the unfamiliar space, heart racing, until you reached the front door. The lock clicked softly as you turned it.
The hallway was empty and dimly lit when you stepped outside. The cool air felt like freedom. You didnāt even bother putting your shoes on yet you just hurried the few steps to your own apartment door next door, fumbling with your keys until they finally slid into the lock.
The moment you were inside, you locked the door behind you, leaned against it, and slid down to the floor, breathing hard.
Your body still ached in the best and worst ways. Thighs sore, a faint bruise forming on your hip from his grip, the ghost of his touch lingering everywhere. You could still feel him inside you, still taste the heat of his mouth.
You buried your face in your hands, mortified beyond words. What had you done?You had slept with the one person you couldnāt stand and now you had to live right next door to him, pretending it never happened.
Because if Heeseung ever found out youād run away like this, the teasing would only get worse much, much worse. You spent the rest of that early morning in a haze of denial.
Your phone vibrated then again. You reached for it with a heavy sigh, squinting at the bright screen.
yunjin ( 3 new messages )
yunjin : babe where did u go?? one second u were dancing and then u disappeared š
yunjin : sunghoon said he saw u leave with someone?? pls tell me ur okay
yunjin : im worried call me when u wake up!!
soobin ( 4 new messages )
soobin : hey, you okay? you left pretty suddenly last night without telling both of us yunjinās freaking out a bit
soobin : let me know if you got home safe
soobin : if you need anything or want to talk, iām here no pressure
soobin : hope youāre resting well ā¤ļø
You stared at the messages, throat tightening. The kindness in Soobinās texts and Yunjinās worried energy made fresh tears prick at your eyes. They had no idea what you had done. No idea you had spent the night in Heeseungās bed, letting him touch you, kiss you, fuck you like youād lost all common sense.
You typed back with trembling fingers, keeping it short and vague
you : got home safe, just drank too much and needed to leave early sorry for worrying you guys iām okay, just tired talk later ā¤ļø
You sent it and immediately turned your phone on silent, burying your face in your hands the memories wouldnāt stop replaying. Heeseungās hands on your hips, his mouth on your neck. The way he had groaned your name when he came inside you.
How safe and warm his arms had felt when he pulled you under the duvet afterward. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push it all away this never happened.
After sliding down your front door and sitting on the cold floor for what felt like hours, you finally dragged yourself to the shower.
You scrubbed your skin until it was raw, trying to wash away every trace of Heeseung his scent, his touch, the sticky evidence of what youād done between your thighs. The hot water did nothing to erase the soreness or the vivid flashbacks that kept playing on loop in your head.
By the time the sun came up, you had made a decision this never happened. You would bury it so deep that even you would start to believe it. No one needed to know. Not Yunjin, not Soobin, not even yourself on most days.
You would go back to normal go to classes, focus on your art curator projects, complain about the noise next door like always. And most importantly, you would avoid Lee Heeseung at all costs.
Heeseung stepped out of his apartment with a half empty water bottle in hand, planning to grab the last box from his car before the evening practice. The hallway was quiet until it wasnāt.
A girl came rushing around the corner, arms overloaded with a massive cardboard box that completely blocked her line of sight. She collided straight into his chest with a startled gasp.
The box flew out of her hands and crashed to the floor, spilling books, notebooks, and what looked like art supplies everywhere across the hallway carpet. Heeseung instinctively reached out and grabbed her arms to keep her from stumbling backward.
She looked up at him, flushed and clearly annoyed, strands of hair falling across her face from the chaotic move. She was pretty, sharp eyes, determined expression the kind of girl who didnāt seem impressed by campus status.
A smirk tugged at his lips before he could stop it.āEasy there, neighbor,ā he drawled, voice laced with amusement. āYou always run into people like youāre trying to tackle them, or am I just lucky?ā
She blinked, then quickly crouched down to gather her scattered belongings, avoiding his gaze.āSorry,ā she muttered, tone tight and clipped. āDidnāt see you.ā
Heeseung crouched down as well, picking up a thick book on museum curation that had slid toward his foot. He turned it over in his hands, raising an eyebrow.āArt stuff, huh?ā he asked casually. āYou moving in next door?ā
āYeah just today,ā she replied shortly, snatching the book back from him with a little more force than necessary.
He stood up first and leaned against the wall, arms crossing over his chest as he watched her struggle to reorganize everything into the box. Most girls would have smiled, maybe even recognized him as the basketball captain.
This one? She looked like she already wanted nothing to do with him.āIām Heeseung,ā he said, flashing his most charming grin. āLee Heeseung, your new neighbor. Need help carrying that? Looks heavy.ā He offered,
āIām good thanks,ā she answered without even looking up, standing quickly and slinging the tote over her shoulder.
Heeseung didnāt move out of the way. Instead, he tilted his head, studying her with open curiosity. There was something refreshing about her indifference that it made him want to push a little harder.
āJust so you know,ā he added, voice dropping into a teasing tone, āThe walls here are pretty thin, try not to be too loud when youāre studying or doing whatever it is, serious art curator girls do at night.āHer eyes finally snapped up to his, narrowing with clear irritation.
āIāll keep that in mind,ā she said flatly. āAnd maybe you can try keeping your parties down some people actually have to study to pass their classes.ā
Heeseung let out a low, genuine laugh that echoed down the empty hallway. She had bite and he liked that.
āWelcome to the building, miss morals,ā he called after her as she turned toward her door, the nickname slipping out naturally. She didnāt respond. She fumbled with her keys, unlocked her apartment, and slipped inside without another word, the door shutting with a firm click.
Heeseung stood there for a moment longer, still grinning to himself. The girl next door already hated him, and he hadnāt even thrown his first party yet. This was going to be interesting.
The gym echoed with the sharp squeak of sneakers and the rhythmic bounce of basketballs. Afternoon practice was in full swing, but during a water break, Heeseung leaned against the bleachers, towel draped over his shoulders, a cocky grin already plastered on his face.
Jay tossed him a bottle of water. āYou look way too happy for someone who just ran suicides.āHeeseung laughed, taking a long sip before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. āCanāt help it ran into the new neighbor again this morning.ā
Beomgyu perked up immediately, spinning the ball on his finger. āThe girl next door? The one who already hates your guts?ā
āmiss morals herself,ā Heeseung confirmed, his smirk widening. āI was just leaving for practice when she came out, i told her the walls are thin and she should try not to be too loud at night. You shouldāve seen her face, she looked like she wanted to throw her coffee at me.ā
Jake, who was stretching nearby, let out a loud laugh. āDude, youāre obsessed! thatās like the third time this week youāve mentioned her.ā
āIām not obsessed,ā Heeseung shot back, but his grin betrayed him. āItās just too easy. She gets so worked up over the smallest things. Last week I had a couple of people over, nothing crazy and she banged on my door at midnight like the apartment was on fire, called me an entitled asshole who only passes because ādaddy pays for everything.āā
The group burst into laughter. Sunghoon shook his head, amused. āSheās got balls, most girls on campus would be throwing themselves at you the second they find out youāre the captain.ā
āExactly,ā Heeseung said, tossing the towel aside. āThatās what makes it fun, she doesnāt give a single fuck who I am. No flirty smiles, no asking for tickets to games, nothing. She just glares at me like I personally ruined her life by existing next door itās hilarious.ā
Beomgyu grinned mischievously. āSo whatās your plan? Keep annoying her until she moves out?ā
āNah,ā Heeseung replied, bouncing the ball once. āIām just getting started, next time the musicās on, I might turn it up a little louder to see how long it takes before she comes marching over again. Bet sheāll have that cute little angry face on.ā
Jake, who had been quietly listening while stretching his hamstrings, suddenly straightened up with a knowing look.āDonāt you think youāre in love with her or something?ā he asked casually, but loud enough for the whole group to hear.
The gym went quiet for half a second before the guys exploded with laughter and teasing whistles. Heeseung nearly choked on his water. āWhat the fuck, Jake?ā
Jake shrugged, completely unfazed. āThink about it, sheās literally the only girl who doesnāt give a shit about you no ego stroking, no chasing after the basketball star. She treats you like any other annoying neighbor and instead of leaving her alone, you keep poking at her like a kid with a new toy. That sounds like a crush to me.ā
āBullshit,ā Heeseung scoffed, but his ears turned slightly red. He dribbled the ball harder than necessary, trying to play it cool. āIām not in love with her, sheās just entertaining. It's fun watching her get all riled up, thatās it.ā
Jay raised an eyebrow, smirking. āSure āEntertaining.ā thatās why you bring her up every single practice.ā
āExactly,ā Jake added with a grin. āIf she suddenly started being nice to you, youād probably be bored in a week but because she ignores you and calls you out, you canāt stop thinking about her.ā
Heeseung pointed the ball at Jake threateningly, though his smirk was fighting to stay hidden. āKeep talking and Iāll make you run extra laps, Sim.ā
The team laughed again, but Jake just held up his hands in surrender, still smiling. āIām just saying, man. One day youāre gonna realize youāre not annoying her because itās funny, youāre doing it because you like the way she fights back.ā
Heeseung rolled his eyes and turned away, dribbling the ball toward the court to end the conversation. But as practice resumed and he sank a clean three pointer, Jakeās words lingered in the back of his mind longer than he wanted to admit.
Maybe there was a tiny bit of truth to it. Or maybe he just really, really enjoyed getting on your nerves.
The laughter from the team slowly died down as practice resumed. Heeseung shook off Jakeās teasing comment, channeling the slight irritation into sharper shots. He sank another clean three pointer, the ball swishing through the net with satisfying precision.
For a few minutes, the court felt like the only place where everything made sense no annoying neighbors, no complicated feelings, just the game. Then the gym doors swung open with a loud bang.
Everyone turned as a tall, sharply dressed man in a tailored coat strode in, his presence immediately sucking the casual energy out of the room. Coach paused mid instruction, nodding respectfully.
Heeseungās stomach dropped the moment he recognized the figure his father. Mr. Lee didnāt smile. He never did when he showed up unannounced like this. His eyes scanned the court with cold calculation, lingering on Heeseung with clear disapproval.
āTake five, boys,ā Coach called out, sensing the shift in atmosphere. Heeseung wiped the sweat from his brow and walked over, jaw already tight. āDad what are you doing here?āMr. Lee stopped a few feet away, arms folded behind his back. His voice was low but carried easily across the quiet gym.
āI came to see if my son is actually putting in the work thatās supposed to get him into the NBA,ā he said flatly. āFrom what Iāve been hearing, it doesnāt look like it.āHeeseungās friends lingered nearby, pretending to drink water but clearly listening.
āIāve been at every practice,ā Heeseung replied, keeping his tone even. āCoach said my shooting percentage is up this weekāā
āDonāt make excuses,ā his father cut him off sharply. āYour brother Heedo was never this distracted at your age, he was laser focused top scorer captainfull ride to the best program in the country. And you? Youāre out here laughing with your little friends during water breaks, probably thinking about parties and girls instead of the game.ā
Heeseungās grip tightened on the basketball until his knuckles turned white.āIām not distracted,ā he said through gritted teeth. Mr.Lee stepped closer, voice dropping into that familiar, cutting tone that always found its mark.
āYouāre good for nothing if you canāt even focus on what matters. All that talent wasted because youād rather play around and act like some campus king. You think the scouts care about your popularity? they donāt, you will never be enough if you keep this up and you will certainly never be better than your brother.ā
The words landed like punches. Heedo ā the golden child. The one who had already made it pro overseas. The one their father never stopped comparing him to.Heeseungās jaw clenched so hard it ached. He wanted to snap back, to defend himself, but years of this had taught him it was useless. His father never listened.
Mr. Lee straightened his coat, expression unchanging. āFix it or donāt bother coming home for the holidays, i didnāt raise a failure.āWithout waiting for a reply, he turned and walked out of the gym, the heavy doors swinging shut behind him with a final, echoing thud. The silence that followed was uncomfortable.
Heeseung stood there for a moment, staring at the floor, chest tight with anger and something heavier he refused to name. The team slowly went back to practice, but the energy had shifted. Jake shot him a concerned look, but Heeseung ignored it, dribbling the ball harder than necessary as he moved back onto the court.
Inside, the familiar bitterness churned.His fatherās words echoed louder than any cheering crowd ever could. You will never be enough. You will never be better than your brother. Heeseung sank another shot, but this time it didnāt feel satisfying.
All he could think about was how easy it was to annoy the girl next door because at least when she glared at him and called him an entitled asshole, he felt something other than this hollow, crushing weight.
The heavy gym doors swung shut behind Mr. Lee, leaving an awkward silence in his wake. The team tried to resume practice, but the atmosphere had soured.
Heeseung stood frozen for a few seconds, staring at the spot where his father had been. The familiar sting of those words good for nothing, never enough, never better than your brother settled heavy in his chest like lead.
Jake jogged over, clapping a hand on his shoulder. āHey, man donāt let him get to you, your dadās always been like that youāre killing it out here.ā
āYeah,ā Beomgyu added, spinning the ball on his finger. āIgnore him, youāre the one whoās gonna make it to the NBA, not Heedo.ā Jay nodded. āCome on, letās run some more plays weāll crush the next game.āHeeseung forced a half smile, but it didnāt reach his eyes. āYeah sure.ā
He went through the motions for the rest of practice dribbling, shooting, defending but he was quiet. No cocky jokes no teasing his teammates no loud laughter. Every time someone tried to pull him into conversation or hype him up after a good play, he gave short, one word replies and kept his head down. The usual spark was gone.
Even Coach noticed, shooting him concerned glances but saying nothing.The moment practice officially ended, Heeseung grabbed his bag and left first, ignoring the calls from his friends asking if he wanted to grab food. He needed air. He needed to get away from the echoes of his fatherās voice.
You were sitting alone at a corner table near the window, surrounded by textbooks, notes, and your laptop. Your hair was tied up messily, a pen between your teeth as you frowned at something on the screen. You looked focused serious and annoyingly cute in that concentrated way of yours.
A small, familiar spark ignited in his chest the one that always appeared whenever he spotted you. Before he could think better of it, Heeseung walked straight over and slid into the seat across from you without asking.You looked up, startled at first, then your expression quickly shifted into pure annoyance.
āWhat the hell are you doing here?ā you asked, voice sharp but low enough not to disturb the other customers. You closed your laptop slightly, glaring at him. āThis is my table, go sit somewhere else.ā
Heeseung leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms, that signature smirk slowly returning despite the heavy weight still sitting in his stomach. Seeing your irritated face felt lighter somehow. Easier than dealing with everything else.
āRelax, miss morals,ā he said, voice teasing. āIām not here to ruin your precious study time. Just saw you and thought Iād say hi to my favorite neighbor.ā
You rolled your eyes so hard it was almost impressive. āFavorite? We barely tolerate each other and Iām trying to work unlike some people who can afford to slack off because ādaddy can pay for everything.āā
The jab shouldāve stung more, especially after his fatherās visit, but instead it made Heeseungās smirk widen. There, it was that fire. That complete lack of care for who he was or what people usually said to him. You didnāt tiptoe around him. You didnāt try to impress him. You just called him out.
It felt strangely nice. Not in a romantic way, just refreshing ( liar liar liar he is totally in love with her ) He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the table. āOuch straight for the throat today. What are you working on thatās got you so grumpy? Another museum thing? Planning to curate an exhibit called āWhy Heeseung Should Shut Upā?ā
You gave him a flat look, clearly not amused. āItās for my capstone project and yes, if it helps keep loud neighbors quiet, I might include a whole section on it.ā
Heeseung chuckled softly, the sound genuine even if it was quiet. For the first time since his dad had shown up, the tight knot in his chest loosened just a fraction. He realized something in that moment. Your company wasnāt bad.
In fact, sitting here watching you get all annoyed and snappy at him felt better than sitting alone with his fatherās words ringing in his head. It was simple predictable in the best way. You gave him a reaction real, unfiltered and for a few minutes, it made everything else fade into the background.
He loved annoying you. Not because he wanted to hurt you but because when you pushed back, it reminded him he was still here. Still capable of feeling something other than pressure and disappointment.
āFine,ā he said, raising his hands in mock surrender, though he made no move to leave. āIāll behave for now but only if you tell me what that exhibit is actually about.ā You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, clearly debating whether to kick him out or just ignore him. Heeseung waited, smirk still in place, secretly hoping youād keep arguing with him a little longer.
His eyes opened slowly, the soft gray morning light filtering through the curtains. His body felt sore in places that reminded him immediately of last night a dull ache in his shoulders, the faint stickiness between the sheets, the faint scent of sex still hanging in the air.
He turned his head to the side the bed was empty. The spot where you had been lying was cold, the pillow slightly dented but untouched now. No clothes scattered on the floor no shoes by the door nothing.
Heeseung sat up slowly, rubbing his face with both hands. The memories came back in quiet, unflinching flashes the party you in that short black skirt.The heated dancing that turned into something reckless.The desperate makeout in his car while horns blared behind you.
How heād carried you inside, how urgently you both had moved against each other against the door, then on this bed.The way you had moaned his name.The way he had finished inside you.
And how, afterward, he had pulled you close under the duvet, your back against his chest, both of you falling asleep in silence.
Now you were gone. He glanced at the clock. 7:23 a.m. You must have woken up in a panic sometime in the early hours and slipped out while he was still asleep. The realization settled in his stomach like a stone heavy, uncomfortable, and strangely final.
Heeseung let out a long, tired breath and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He sat there for a moment, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. This was a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake.
You had always made it clear how much you couldnāt stand him. The constant complaints about his noise, the glares in the hallway, the way you called him entitled behind his back.
Last night had been nothing more than too much alcohol and bad judgment on both sides. You waking up and running away only confirmed it.He didnāt blame you. If anything, he felt a quiet wave of regret wash over him. He should have known better.
He should have stopped things before they went that far. Now things between you two were already tense, this was going to be even more awkward.
Heeseung stood up and walked to the bathroom. While the shower heated up, he looked at himself in the mirror. There were faint scratch marks on his shoulders and a small bruise near his collarbone. Physical proof that last night had really happened.
He stepped under the hot water, letting it run over his face and shoulders. It never happened, he told himself. That was the only way forward.He would forget about it. Pretend the entire night was a blur he couldnāt quite remember.
No teasing no comments in the hallway no bringing it up ever again. You clearly wanted to erase it, and honestly so did he. The last thing he needed right now was more complications in his life especially with someone who lived right next door.
After the shower, he got dressed in a simple black t-shirt and sweatpants. He made coffee in the kitchen, moving on autopilot. The apartment felt too quiet now.
Heeseung leaned against the counter, sipping the bitter drink, and stared at the wall that separated his place from yours.From now on, things would go back to normal. You would keep avoiding him like you always did.
He would keep his music at a reasonable volume when he remembered. And neither of you would ever speak about what happened last night. It was better this way, cleaner and simpler.
He finished his coffee, rinsed the mug, and set it in the sink. Last night was a mistake and as far as Heeseung was concerned, it was already forgotten.
For the next two weeks, you turned your life into a carefully orchestrated mission of avoidance while your body slowly started betraying you in ways you couldnāt ignore. The mantra remained the same this never happened.
Every morning began the same way. Your alarm went off at 6:15 a.m., pulling you from restless sleep. The moment you sat up, a familiar wave of nausea rolled through your stomach, not violent, but persistent and queasy, making the room feel slightly off balance.
Youād sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, breathing slowly through your nose, waiting for it to pass. Some mornings it did. Others, youād rush to the bathroom and dry heave over the sink, nothing coming up except bitter bile and a metallic taste that lingered on your tongue.
Once the worst of it subsided, youād quickly get ready, choosing simple, comfortable clothes that wouldnāt draw attention. Then came the listening part. Youād press your ear to the front door, heart beating a little too fast, straining to hear any sound from Heeseungās apartment next door.
If you caught even the faintest click of his lock or the low murmur of his voice on a phone call, youād wait sometimes ten minutes, sometimes twenty pretending to reorganize your bag or check your notes until the hallway was silent again.
Leaving became a tactical exercise. You slipped out as quietly as possible, taking the side staircase instead of the main hallway whenever you spotted his car in the parking lot. The fatigue hit hardest during these moments.
Your legs felt heavier than usual, and by the time you reached campus, you were already drained, needing to sit down in the library for a few minutes just to catch your breath. Coming home was even more stressful.
You started timing your returns obsessively. If practice usually ended around 6 p.m., youād stay late at the library or in an empty classroom, working on your capstone exhibition proposal until you were sure Heeseung was either out with friends or already inside. One evening, the dizziness caught you off guard.
You had just turned the corner into your hallway when the world tilted slightly. You had to lean against the wall, breathing shallowly, while a strong wave of nausea made your stomach churn.
The faint scent of someoneās dinner cooking nearby sent you rushing the last few steps to your door. The moment you got inside, you barely made it to the toilet before vomiting actual, forceful vomiting that left you trembling on the cold tile floor.
You told yourself it was stress. The constant hyper vigilance. The lack of proper sleep. The emotional weight of pretending that night had never occurred. But the symptoms kept creeping in, growing harder to dismiss.
Even the scent of your own shampoo sometimes triggered a gag reflex. Food tasted strange too salty, too sweet, or completely off. You lost interest in meals altogether, surviving on small portions that you could keep down.
The fatigue settled deep in your bones. Youād come home from classes, collapse on the couch, and wake up hours later feeling like you hadnāt rested at all.
Your breasts felt tender and slightly swollen, brushing against your shirt making you wince. Mood swings hit at random. One minute you were focused on your work, the next you felt inexplicably teary or irritable. All of this made the avoidance even more draining.
One Thursday night, your timing failed you had stayed late at the library, hoping Heeseung would already be inside. When you finally dragged your tired body back to the building, the hallway lights felt blindingly bright.
Just as you reached your door, fumbling with your keys, you heard the unmistakable click of his lock opening.Panic surged through you. Your hands shook so badly that the keys nearly dropped. You managed to slip inside just as his door opened, pressing your back against the wood, heart hammering wildly.
You held your breath, listening to his footsteps pass by. The moment they faded, the nausea hit like a wave. You barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up again, knees weak, tears stinging your eyes from the force of it.
Afterward, you sat on the bathroom floor with your forehead resting on your knees, breathing shakily. This was getting worse.You were exhausted from the constant calculation when to leave, when to return, which route to take, how long to wait in the stairwell. The thin wall between your apartments felt like a constant threat.
Youād hear him moving around sometimes. The low sound of his music ( mercifully quieter these days ), the murmur of his voice when he was on the phone, the occasional laugh. Every sound made your stomach twist with anxiety and unwelcome memories.
You became hyper aware of everything. You avoided cooking anything with strong smells. You did laundry at 2 a.m. when you were sure he was asleep. You even changed the time you took showers, worried the sound of running water might coincide with him coming home.
Yunjin and Soobin noticed the changes. āYouāve been canceling plans a lot,ā Yunjin said during one quick lunch. āAnd you look really tired, are you sure youāre okay?ā
āIām fine,ā you lied, forcing a weak smile while fighting the nausea brought on by the smell of her food. āJust stressed about the capstone deadline itās taking everything out of me.ā
Soobin watched you quietly, concern clear in his eyes, but he didnāt push. Inside your apartment, the symptoms continued to build.
Mornings were brutal. Youād wake up with tender breasts and that persistent queasy feeling. Some days the vomiting was so bad you had to keep a small bucket discreetly by your bed.
The fatigue made it hard to focus during lectures. You'd find yourself zoning out, head heavy, fighting the urge to lay your head on the desk. Yet you refused to connect the dots .Itās just stress, you told yourself repeatedly. The avoidance the guilt the lack of sleep.
You pushed through, continuing your careful dance of avoidance. You timed every exit and entry with military precision. You became an expert at predicting Heeseungās schedule ( she should become a dispatch employee )
You kept your headphones on to drown out any sound from next door. You buried yourself in your art curator work, sketching exhibition layouts late into the night until your eyes burned.Two full weeks passed in this strange limbo.
You were pale, exhausted, and constantly on edge. The nausea came in unpredictable waves. The fatigue made simple tasks feel monumental. And the fear of accidentally seeing Heeseung in the hallway kept you trapped in this self imposed isolation.
Deep down, a small, terrified voice in the back of your mind whispered that something was very wrong. But you silenced it the same way you silenced every memory of that night this never happened.
You would keep avoiding him. You would keep pretending everything was normal.Even as your body screamed louder and louder that nothing was normal anymore.
āUgh, my period is literally killing me today,ā she groaned, stirring her iced latte with a pout. āCramps are so bad, I can barely sit straight why does it always hit the worst during the worst season? I swear my uterus hates me.ā
Soobin chuckled softly, offering her a sympathetic smile. āDo you want me to grab you some painkillers from the convenience store?ā You tried to smile and nod along, but the words barely registered.
Her period is killing herā¦..
The sentence echoed in your head like a siren your own period. You mentally counted the days. It should have come a full week ago. Seven days late. Maybe more.
You had been so caught up in avoiding Heeseung, dealing with the constant nausea, fatigue, and vomiting that you hadnāt even noticed the date slipping by. Your heart started beating faster.
You pulled out your phone under the table and quietly opened your cycle tracking app. The screen glowed with the familiar calendar. A bright red notification stared back at you
period : 7 days late
You stared at the words until they blurred. No no, no, no. You tried to push the thought away immediately. It had to be stress. The irregular sleep, the constant anxiety of avoiding Heeseung, the vomiting all of it could easily throw your cycle off. That was normal right?
But then the symptoms started flashing through your mind like warning lights. The persistent nausea every morning. The vomiting that left you weak on the bathroom floor. The crushing fatigue that made it hard to stay awake in lectures.
The dizziness, sensitivity to smells, tender, swollen breasts. Your stomach dropped, could you be pregnant?
The word felt foreign and terrifying in your head. No. Absolutely not. You wouldnāt get pregnant from one night. One reckless, stupid night. People had unprotected sex all the time and nothing happened.
You were on the pillā¦wait, were you? You had been so stressed with midterms that you couldnāt even remember if you had taken it properly that week. The thought made bile rise in your throat again.
Across the table, Yunjin and Soobin were still talking something about upcoming assignments and a group project. Their voices sounded far away, like you were underwater.You couldnāt focus on a single word they were saying. Your mind was spinning, heart pounding so hard you were sure they could hear it.
Yunjin waved a hand in front of your face. āHello? Earth to you! youāve been spacing out the entire time are you okay?āYou blinked, forcing yourself back to the present. Your mouth felt dry.
āIāyeah, sorry just tired,ā you mumbled. āGuys, I think Iām gonna head home early today my headās killing me.āSoobin frowned, concern clear in his eyes. āDo you want me to walk you back?āāNo, itās fine,ā you said quickly, already standing up and grabbing your bag. āIāll text you later promise.ā
Inside the store, you felt like every camera was watching you. You moved quickly through the aisles, heart hammering, until you found the family planning section. There were several pregnancy test kits.
You grabbed the most reliable looking one with trembling fingers, not even reading the brand properly. The cashier gave you a neutral look as you paid, but you couldnāt meet her eyes.
Bag clutched tightly to your chest, you practically ran the entire way back to your apartment building. You took the side stairs again, praying Heeseung wasnāt around. The moment you were inside your own apartment, you locked the door twice and leaned against it, breathing hard.
You pulled the kit out of the bag with shaking hands. The box felt heavy dangerous. You read the instructions carefully, twice. Pee on the stick. Wait three minutes. One line = not pregnant. Two lines = pregnant simple but terrifying.
You went to the bathroom, heart pounding so loudly it echoed in your ears. You followed every step exactly, hands trembling so badly you almost dropped the test. When you were done, you placed the stick on the counter and set a timer on your phone three minutes.
You paced the small bathroom, arms wrapped tightly around yourself. Every second felt like an hour. The nausea was back, but this time it had nothing to do with morning sickness. It was pure fear.
What if it was positive?
What if you were actually pregnant with Heeseungās baby?
The thought made your knees weak. You slid down the wall until you were sitting on the cold tile floor, staring at the test on the counter like it was a bomb about to go off.The timer was still counting down.
Two minutes left. You hugged your knees to your chest, eyes fixed on the small plastic stick that now, held your entire future in two little lines. You were so scared.
The timer on your phone hit zero with a soft chime that felt deafening in the small bathroom. You stayed frozen on the cold tile floor for several long seconds, knees drawn to your chest, staring at the pregnancy test lying face up on the counter like it was a live grenade.
Slowly, you pushed yourself up on shaky legs and stepped closer. One line was already dark and clear the control line. The second line was faint at first, but unmistakable. A pale pink line slowly darkening right beside the first one.
two lines = positive
You blinked hard, once, twice, as if the result would magically change if you stared long enough.āNoā¦ā you whispered, voice cracking. āNo, that canāt be right.āDenial crashed over you like a wave. You snatched the test off the counter and held it closer to the light, turning it at different angles. Maybe it was a faulty test.
Maybe the line was an evaporation line. Maybe you had read the instructions wrong. You grabbed the box again and reread the instructions three more times, your hands trembling so badly the paper shook.
But no matter how many times you checked, the two lines stared back at you, clear and undeniable. It was positive. You were pregnant. The reality slammed into you all at once.
Your knees buckled. You sank back down to the bathroom floor, the test still clutched tightly in your hand. A sob tore out of your throat before you could stop it. Hot tears spilled down your cheeks as the full weight of what this meant crashed over you.
You were pregnant with Heeseungās baby. The boy you couldnāt stand. The neighbor you had spent months avoiding. The one person you had sworn to pretend never touched you.
A broken sound escaped you half sob, half laugh of pure disbelief. Your free hand moved instinctively to your stomach, pressing lightly against the still flat surface. There was a life growing inside you right now. A tiny, real consequence of one reckless, drunken night.
The crying came harder. You curled in on yourself, forehead resting on your knees as sobs wracked your body. All the symptoms you had tried to blame on stress the nausea, the vomiting, the fatigue, the dizziness suddenly made perfect, terrifying sense.
You were going to have a baby. And the father was the last person on earth you wanted to be tied to. After several long minutes, the tears slowed, leaving you drained and hollow. You wiped your face with the back of your hand, staring blankly at the two pink lines.
You made a decision right there on the bathroom floor. You were not telling Heeseung anything, not a single word.He didnāt need to know. He would never know. Telling him would only make everything worse the teasing, the drama, the forced proximity, the endless complications with someone you already couldnāt stand.
You could barely handle living next door to him as it was. Bringing a child into that mess was unthinkable. This was your problem. Your body, your choice. You would handle it quietly. You would get rid of it.The thought made fresh tears sting your eyes, but you forced them back. There was no other option.
You were still in school, chasing your dream of becoming an art curator. Your life was barely stable right now. A baby, especially one with Heeseung as the father would ruin everything.
You stayed on the floor for a long time, clutching the test, letting the weight of the decision settle over you.
Eventually, you stood up on unsteady legs. You wrapped the test in toilet paper and hid it deep in the trash can under some tissues. You washed your face with cold water until the redness in your eyes faded a little.
You looked at your reflection pale, exhausted, terrified and whispered to yourself āThis never happened.ā You would schedule an. appointment. You would end this quietly.You would move on with your life and never speak of that night again.
But as you turned off the bathroom light and stepped into your silent apartment, the weight in your chest felt heavier than ever. You were pregnant. And for the first time since that night, the wall between you and Heeseung felt like it was closing in.
The decision sat heavy in your chest like a stone. You werenāt going to tell Heeseung. You were going to end this quietly and move on with your life. The very next morning, you tried to make the appointment.
You sat on your bed with your laptop open, hands shaking as you searched for clinics near campus that offered termination services. Your stomach was already churning with nausea again, but you forced yourself to focus.
You found a few options a womenās health clinic downtown and a Planned Parenthood branch about twenty minutes away. You clicked on the booking page for the first one. The form asked for your name, date of birth, contact number, and reason for visit.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long time. You couldnāt do it. Every time you tried to type your real information, panic surged through you. What if someone recognized your name? What if the clinic called or sent confirmation texts while you were near Heeseung?
What if the appointment somehow got back to campus gossip? The thought of walking into a clinic alone, explaining your situation to a stranger, and going through with it made your throat close up.
You closed the laptop without saving anything. You told yourself youād try again tomorrow when you felt calmer. But tomorrow came and went. Then the next day. And the next. Meanwhile, the symptoms grew worse.
The nausea was no longer just morning sickness it hit you at random times throughout the day. The smell of food in the cafeteria made you gag. Even walking past the coffee shop near campus triggered violent waves that left you rushing to the nearest bathroom.
You started carrying saltine crackers and a small bottle of ginger ale everywhere, but they barely helped anymore.
Vomiting became more frequent. One afternoon during a lecture, you had to excuse yourself midway through and barely made it to the restroom before throwing up.
You returned to class pale and sweaty, mumbling something about food poisoning when Yunjin looked at you worriedly.
Fatigue wrapped around you like a heavy blanket. You fell asleep in the library twice that week, waking up with your cheek stuck to your notebook. Simple tasks like climbing the stairs to your apartment left you breathless and dizzy.
Your breasts were constantly tender, and your mood swung wildly one moment you were numb, the next you felt like crying over nothing. Yunjin and Soobin started noticing. During lunch on Thursday, Yunjin set her chopsticks down and stared at you.
āOkay, something is seriously wrong,ā she said, voice firm but concerned. āYouāve been looking like a ghost for days, you barely eat anything, you keep disappearing to the bathroom, and you look exhausted even when you say you slept are you sick? Is it stress? Talk to us.ā
Soobin nodded, his gentle eyes filled with worry. āYouāve been canceling plans and spacing out a lot. If somethingās going on, you donāt have to deal with it alone. Weāre here.āYou forced a weak smile, pushing your untouched food around your plate. The smell of it was making you nauseous again.
āIām okay, really,ā you lied, voice quieter than usual. āJustā¦ really behind on my capstone. The deadline is stressing me out more than I thought. Iāll be fine once I catch up.ā
They didnāt look convinced, but they let it drop for the moment. Still, you could feel their eyes on you for the rest of the meal. Even Heeseung started noticing something was off.
You had managed to avoid direct contact with him for weeks, but it was impossible to hide everything when you lived next door.
One evening, you were coming home later than usual after another failed attempt to book the appointment online. You felt dizzy and nauseous, moving slowly up the hallway with your keys already in hand. As you reached your door, Heeseungās door opened.
He stepped out, wearing a simple black hoodie, hair slightly messy like heād just come back from practice. His eyes landed on you immediately.
You froze for half a second, then quickly turned your face away and fumbled with your lock, trying to get inside before he could say anything. But Heeseung didnāt tease you this time.
Instead, he paused in his doorway, brow slightly furrowed as he watched you. You looked pale. Thinner. There were dark circles under your eyes, and the way you moved seemed off fragile.
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. For once, the usual cocky remark didnāt come.āYou good?ā he asked quietly, voice lacking its normal edge.
You didnāt answer. You finally got the door open and slipped inside without looking at him, shutting it quickly behind you
Heeseung stood there for a moment longer, staring at your closed door with a strange, unsettled feeling in his chest. Something wasnāt right with you. He could see it.But after everything after that night you both had silently agreed to forget he didnāt know if he had the right to ask.
Inside your apartment, you leaned against the door, breathing hard. Fresh tears stung your eyes as another wave of nausea hit you. You slid down to the floor, hugging your knees. You still hadnāt been able to book the appointment.
The symptoms were getting worse every day, your friends were worried and now even Heeseung had noticed something was wrong. You pressed your forehead to your knees, whispering to yourself again and again
āThis never happenedā¦ this never happenedā¦ā But the lie was starting to feel impossible to keep. Heeseung had noticed. For the past two weeks, it had become painfully obvious that you were avoiding him like the plague.
At first, he thought it was the usual the cold shoulder after that night you both had silently agreed to forget. But it quickly went beyond that. You timed your movements with military precision.
He would hear your door open and close at odd hours, always when he was either inside or already gone. You took the side stairs. You left earlier than usual in the mornings and came back much later at night.
Even at university, catching a glimpse of you had become nearly impossible. You seemed to disappear into the library or empty classrooms the moment practice ended.It was clear you were doing everything in your power to never cross paths with him.
Heeseung told himself it didnāt bother him. He had decided to forget that night too. No teasing. No bringing it up. Just normal or as normal as things could be when you lived right next door
But something was wrong. You looked terrible lately. He first noticed it in passing the dark circles under your eyes, the way your shoulders seemed to slump with exhaustion. Then it got worse you moved slower.
Your face was paler than usual. You barely left your apartment except for classes, and even then you looked like you were running on empty.
One evening, after a long basketball practice, Heeseung was walking back to the apartment building, gym bag slung over his shoulder. The sun had already set, and the streetlights cast long shadows on the path. Thatās when he saw you.
You were a few meters ahead, heading toward the entrance. Your steps were unsteady, one hand pressed lightly against the wall for support.
Even from behind, he could tell something was very wrong. Your posture was slumped, your breathing looked shallow, and you looked like you were barely holding yourself upright.
Heeseungās stomach tightened. He quickened his pace without thinking and caught up to you just as you reached the building door.āHey,ā he said, voice low and serious, no trace of his usual teasing tone. āAre you alright?ā
You turned your head slightly, eyes glassy and tired. The moment you recognized him, your expression hardened.āI donāt have time for your teasing right now, Heeseung,ā you muttered weakly, trying to push past him toward the elevator.
Heeseung felt a flash of annoyance, not because you were dismissing him, but because he was genuinely worried and you clearly didnāt believe it.āIām not teasing,ā he said, more sharply than he intended. āYou look like youāre about to pass out.ā
You didnāt respond, just kept walking toward the elevator. Heeseung followed, stepping in right after you. The doors closed, trapping the two of you in the small space. The silence was thick and uncomfortable. He could hear your breathing too fast, too shallow.
When the elevator reached your floor, you stepped out first. But the moment your feet hit the hallway, your legs buckled. You swayed dangerously, one hand reaching out blindly for the wall as the world spun around you. Heeseung moved fast.
He dropped his gym bag and caught you before you could hit the floor, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other supporting your back. Your body went limp against him for a few terrifying seconds.
āShitāā he muttered, heart pounding. āHey, stay with me.ā You were half conscious, mumbling something incoherent about being fine. Heeseung didnāt waste time arguing. He adjusted his grip and lifted you carefully into his arms in bridal style, your head lolling against his shoulder.
Your apartment was right next to his. He fumbled for a moment with your keys ( which had fallen from your hand ) until he managed to unlock the door. He carried you inside, kicking the door shut behind him, and headed straight for your bedroom.
The room was neat but clearly lived in textbooks stacked on the desk, a half finished sketch on the table, a small trash can near the bed. Heeseung gently laid you down on the bed, pulling the blanket over you. Your face was pale, forehead slightly damp with sweat.
He stood there for a moment, unsure what to do. You looked so small and fragile like this. Nothing like the fiery girl who used to bang on his door and call him an entitled asshole.
Heeseung grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and placed it on your nightstand. Then he pulled up the chair from your desk and sat down beside the bed, watching you carefully.
Your breathing slowly evened out. The tension in your face relaxed as you slipped into a deeper sleep. Heeseung stayed there, elbows on his knees, running a hand through his hair. He didnāt know what was going on with you.
He didnāt know why you looked so sick. He didnāt even know if youād want him here when you woke up. But right now, leaving you alone didnāt feel like an option. So he stayed quietly waiting.
Until your breathing became steady and deep, and he was sure you were fully asleep. Heeseung stayed. He told himself heād only wait until you fell into a proper sleep, but the longer he sat there watching your pale face and shallow breathing, the harder it became to leave.
You looked exhausted, truly exhausted in a way that went beyond simple tiredness. Dark circles under your eyes, lips slightly chapped, skin lacking its usual color. Something was clearly wrong, and the protective instinct he didnāt know he had kept him rooted to the chair.
After almost an hour, when your breathing had deepened into steady, even inhales, Heeseung stood up quietly. He couldnāt just sit there doing nothing. He moved silently through your apartment, careful not to make noise.
Your kitchen was small and neat, but the fridge was nearly empty a few bottles of water, some crackers, and not much else. Heeseung frowned. No wonder you looked so drained. He opened the cupboards and found rice, a couple of eggs, and some ginger.
Simple gentle on the stomach. He decided to make congee something light that his mom used to make for him when he was sick.
He worked quietly, chopping what little he could find, boiling water, and stirring the pot on low heat. The smell of ginger and warm rice slowly filled the small apartment. He hoped it would help when you woke up. Maybe it would make you feel a little better.
He kept glancing toward the bedroom every few minutes, making sure you were still resting. Almost two hours later, you started stirring.
Heeseung was just turning off the stove when he heard movement from the bedroom. He poured some congee into a bowl, added a bit of water to make it lighter, and was about to bring it to you when
You bolted upright in bed, eyes wide with sudden panic. The smell of the food hit you like a wave. Your face went even paler, hand flying to your mouth as nausea surged violently. Heeseungās eyes widened. āHeyāā
You didnāt wait. You scrambled off the bed on shaky legs and ran straight to the bathroom, barely making it in time.
Heeseung followed right behind you, worry spiking through his chest. He reached the bathroom door just as you dropped to your knees in front of the toilet and started throwing up violently.
āShitāā He moved quickly, kneeling beside you without hesitation. One hand gently gathered your hair, holding it back from your face. His other hand rubbed slow, soothing circles on your back. āItās okay Iāve got you, just breathe.ā
You retched again, body trembling with the force of it. Heeseung stayed right there, murmuring quiet reassurances, his hand never stopping its gentle motion on your back.
When the worst of it seemed to pass, he reached over and flushed the toilet, then grabbed a clean towel from the rack and dampened it with cool water.āHere,ā he said softly, handing you the towel. āWipe your face.ā
You took it with trembling hands, still breathing hard. Heeseung stood up briefly to get a glass of water from the sink and brought it back to you.āSmall sips,ā he instructed, crouching down again. āDonāt drink too fast.ā
While you rinsed your mouth and took careful sips, Heeseungās eyes wandered around the small bathroom, looking for anything that might help. His gaze landed on the trash can beside the sink. Something white and plastic was poking out from under some tissues.
Curious, he reached down and pulled it out, it was a pregnancy test. Two distinct red lines stared back at him clear, unmistakable, and positive. Heeseung froze.
His brain short circuited for a second. The test felt heavy in his hand as the reality sank in. Positive you were pregnant. He slowly turned his head toward you. You were already looking at him.
Your eyes were wide with pure terror, face drained of all color, lips parted in shock. You looked caught completely and utterly caught like the worst secret in the world had just been ripped open. The glass of water trembled in your hand.
Heeseungās mouth opened, but no words came out at first. His gaze flicked between the test in his hand and your terrified expression.
The pieces clicked together horribly fast the avoidance, the exhaustion, the vomiting, the way you looked like you were barely holding yourself together for the past two weeks.
This wasnāt just stress this was because of that night because of him. Heeseung swallowed hard, his voice coming out quieter than he expected.
āā¦Is this yours?ā The bathroom fell into a heavy, suffocating silence. You were still staring at him, tears already gathering in your eyes again, looking like you wanted the floor to swallow you whole.
Heeseung didnāt know what to say. He only knew that everything had just changed. Heeseung stared at the two red lines on the pregnancy test for what felt like an eternity.
The bathroom was deathly quiet except for your shaky breathing. When he finally looked up at you, your face was pale, eyes wide with pure terror, tears already spilling down your cheeks. He swallowed hard, his throat tight.
āā¦Are you pregnant?ā he asked, voice low and rough. You didnāt speak at first. Your lips trembled as fresh tears rolled down your face. Then you gave a small, barely noticeable nod.
Heeseung felt something twist sharply in his chest. He looked back down at the test, then at you again. His next question came out quieter, almost hesitant.
āIs the baby mine?ā The moment the words left his mouth, your face crumpled completely. You broke into heavy, broken sobs, shoulders shaking as you tried to cover your mouth with one hand.
āIām sorryā¦ā you choked out between cries. āIām so sorryā¦ I didnāt want this to happen, i never meant for any of this, it was just one stupid night and Iā Iām planning on getting rid of it. I wonāt bother you with any of this, i wonāt get in your way. You donāt have to worry about anything, iāll handle it quietly.ā
Heeseungās expression shifted the instant you said those words. Hurt flashed across his face raw, unguarded hurt. His brows drew together, jaw tightening as he processed what you were saying.
The idea that you were planning to terminate the pregnancy without even telling him felt like a punch to the gut. His hand holding the test lowered slowly to his side. You kept crying, words tumbling out faster now, desperate and apologetic.
āIām really sorry. I know you didnāt ask for this. I didnāt ask for this either, iāll take care of everything. You can just forget about itā¦i promise I wonāt drag you into anything.ā
Heeseung stayed silent for a long moment, staring at you as you sat on the bathroom floor, looking small and devastated.
The hurt in his chest mixed with something heavier confusion, disbelief, and a strange ache he couldnāt quite name. Finally, his voice came out low and strained.
one time i told a group of lesbian and bi women that i have never watched wicked and they were shocked, gagged, gooped, ābut youāre queer. you like pussy. how have you not seen wicked?ā yeah. well. i like pussy, not musicals?
ššÆšš¢š„ššš„š ā heeseung lee oneshot
summary. hooking up with your best friend was convenient at first. you donāt have to go to clubs to find one night stands, you call him and heāll come right away. you rule was simple: the others canāt know. but as months go by, it was clear this specific rule is slowly hurting the both of you. or instead it opens something new?
pairings. fwb!heeseung x fem!reader
content / warning. fwb to lovers,angst, fluff, slightly toxic, mentions of alcohol + clubbing, suggestive scenes, childhood bestfriend themes, cockwarming, theyāre both stupid. reader is way more dumber though (sorry), arguments, mentions of jay, jake (enhypen), beomgyu (txt), yunjin (lesserafim), ryujin (itzy), hee smokes once in one scene, slight manipilation + guilt-tripping, unprotected p in v , mutual masturbation, titplay, fingering, jerking off.
w.c. 16.8k
now playing. available - justin biebier, i like u - niki
āKeep me warm, yeah?ā
His room is dim except for the glow of the monitor, the soft clicking of buttons filling the space.
Youāre straddling him like itās nothing newābecause it isnāt. It is also not unusual for him to be deep inside you while youāre at it.
Heeseung barely reacts at first, eyes still locked onto the screen, fingers moving like youāre not literally sitting in his lap.
āHee..ā You whine, hips grinding involuntarily despite his words earlier telling you not to move.
āHold on,ā he mutters, focused. āOne round.ā
You tilt your head, watching him instead of the game, how can this man act normally when heās so deep inside you?
āāOne roundā like the last three times?ā
No answerājust a quiet hm under his breath when something doesnāt distract him.
He felt you clench around him making him exhales sharply, dropping his head back against the chair.
āFuckāY/N, baby, stop that, I wonāt last.ā He groans againts your temple. You canāt help it, the stretch was so good and you can literally feel every vein of his.
You give up, groaning softly as you relax and rest your cheek on his chest while he whistles in victory.
āGood girl, we just did it an hour ago. Just relax on me while I game, yeah?ā He huff while his fingers work on the keyboard, turning his head slightly to mouth your temple.
āYou got the text about Jayās birthday party?ā You ask suddenly, in which he hums. āTonight,ā
āGet dressed, weāll go together.ā His legs moved the chair to give you space to get up, he pats your hip.
Your thighs shake as you got up, his now-soft length pulls out. He let out a groan.
The sudden wave of cold air hitting your bare privates made the both of you wince and hiss, before looking into each otherās eyes with a soft laugh.
āYou still have that outfit in my closetāfrom two nights ago,ā he says. āGo put it on.ā
You blink, trying to place which one he means.
āThe black one,ā he adds, a slow smirk forming. āThe one I like, though it was so hard to take off.ā
Once youāre both ready, the room feels differentālike everything that was chaotic before has been tightened into something deliberate.
Your hair is pulled up neatly, a few soft strands framing your face, and your makeup is done just rightāclean, sharp, but still natural enough to make it look effortless. You catch your reflection and adjust your outfit one last time, smoothing it down even though it doesnāt need it.
When you step out, Heeseung looks upāand actually pauses for a second.
Not dramatic. Justā¦ still.
His eyes scan you slowly, like heās making sure heās seeing it right.
āā¦yeah,ā he mutters under his breath, more to himself than you.
You raise a brow. āWhat?ā
He shakes it off like he didnāt just stare a little too long.
āNothing. Letās go.ā
But as you walk past him, he lightly taps your hipācasual, almost absentmindedābut his hand lingers just long enough to make it feel intentional before he grabs his keys.
The air between you feels charged in that quiet, familiar way again.
Outside, the night is cooler. The streetlights glow faintly against the pavement as you both head to his car. He unlocks it and opens the passenger door for you without saying much, like itās automatic by now.
Once youāre inside, he shuts the door and circles around to the driverās side.
A moment later, he gets in, starts the engine, and finally glances at you properly againālike heās still taking you in.
Then he looks away, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than necessary.
The city lights smear across the windshield as the car moves through traffic, music from outside faint but still pulsing through the windows.
He drives like he always doesācalm, one hand on the wheel, the other resting loosely near the gear shift.
Too close. Always too close.
You glance at him once, then look away.
āHey,ā you say.
āYeah?ā
Your voice drops a little. āRemember. Not too touchy tonight. Itās better to have no contact at all.ā
He doesnāt look at you right away. Just tilts his head slightly, like heās considering it.
āIām not too touchy,ā he says after a beat.
You turn your head.
āLast time you literallyāā
āI fixed your strap,ā he interrupts smoothly, eyes still on the road.
You pause.
āThatās notāā
āIt was falling. You donāt want to flash everyone in the club.ā
You exhale, looking forward again, unimpressed. āThatās not the point, Hee. They gave me a suspecting look and it weirded me out. Itās uncomfortable.ā
A short silence settles.
Then you add, quieter, āAnd donāt call me baby in front of them. Or any other stupid petnames you always do.ā
That time, his fingers tap once on the steering wheel. Slow.
He glances at you briefly, then back to the road.
āā¦youāre serious.ā
āTheyāre gonna question it. And! weāre not a couple.ā
Another beat.
The car moves under green lights, steady. Then he says, almost casually, āYouāre fine with everything else though?ā
You donāt answer immediately.
Your grip tightens slightly in your lap.
āThatās not what I meant.ā
He hums under his breath, like he doesnāt fully agree, but he doesnāt push it either.
Instead, he just nods once. āAlright.ā
But the air in the car shifts anyway.
Being with him like this feelsā¦ normal. Almost annoyingly so. And when you have talks like these, reminding him about your rules, itāll always ruin the mood a little.
Years of knowing each otherāchildhood friends first, then somewhere in college it blurred, then now in adulthood itās become this unspoken thing neither of you really defines out loud.
Itās easier that way.
At least, thatās what everyone else thinks.
To your friend group, youāre just the two who are always together. The ones who naturally drift toward each other in every room, every gathering, every late-night decision.
No one questions it.
No one looks twice.
No one knows that almost after every hangout, you both head to his or your apartmentāmaking each other feel good.
āItās like theyāre choosing a club so far away on purpose.ā He clicks his tongue, looking at the Maps app.
You look at the scenery outside, the night sky, other cars passing by. Youāre grateful he changed the topic.
Almost 20 minutes later, weāve finally arived to an unfamiliar club, picked by Jay and the others.
Heeseung parked the car, cutting the engine and turning to look at you. He didn't make a move to let go of your hand, his grip still firm as he looked you over silently for a moment.
"You ready?" He asked, a hint of a smirk on his lipsāan attempt at humor to hide the worry in his eyes. You nod, and both of you got out of the car and walked towards the entrance.
āNo petnames, no touches.ā You remind him.
Heeseung paused at that, his expression almost comically annoyed as he stared at you for a long moment. A low huff of breath left him as he ran a hand through his hair, muttering under his breath.
"Damnit." he said, the word low and almost petulant. "I was looking forward to you clinging to me all night like a damn koala."
āWhat are you talking about, you silly.ā You flick his bicep, āIām not your girlfriend and weāre not someācouple to be soā¦PDA-ish.ā
Heeseung's smirk vanished instantly, replaced with something that looked dangerously close to hurt for half a second before he schooled his expression back into nonchalance. He rubbed the spot you flicked with an exaggerated wince.
"Ow." he mutteredātoo sharp to be just about the flick. "You're right. We're not."
A pause as he met your eyes again, his tone deliberately light: "Guess I'll have fun flirting with someone else then."
Heeseung didn't say anything as you scoffed at him, simply following you into the club. He kept his hands in his pockets now, keeping a comfortable distance between you as the other members came into view.
"About goddamn time." Jay's voice cut through the low thrum of music as he noticed you both, his usual smug smirk in place. "Almost thought you two were ditching."
āWho the hell choose the club? Why is it all the way downtown?ā Heeseung grumbles as he took the glass Jake offered as soon as you both went to the groupās booth.
Your friends, the two guys and one more, Beomgyu and two girls, Yunjin and Ryujin is already there.
Yunjin smiles at the both of you before hugging you, talking about missing you the whole day even when she saw you two days ago during a hangout while Ryujin laughs.
Your friendgroup was formed during college, Heeseung was friends with Jay and Jake first, and then later on was introduced to Beomgyu which knew Yunjin and Ryujin.
Heeseung introduced all of them to you, he knew youāre someone reserved and doesnāt need to be in big friendgroups to have a great college life, and youāre content with just having Heeseung as your bestfriend.
However, he promised you these people are worth to be friends with. Real people with real feelings. No dramaājust a couple of friends who are always up to weekend getaways and party nights.
Sitting beside the girls, Heeseung sat a few meters away from you, his gaze darting over to you every now and then as the night went on. He was uncharacteristically quietāonly throwing out sarcastic comments now and again while the others chattered.
He was trying so hard not to look at you it was almost funny, his jaw still clenched, teeth grinding slightly.
However, youāre completely unaware how much youāre hurting him right now.
It was a little after a few hours of drinking that everyone was starting to get a bit tipsy. The others were all laughing and chatting, getting rowdier as the alcohol started to go to their heads.
Heeseung, however, remained sitting quietly in his corner of the booth, his gaze never straying far from you. His expression was almost brooding as he sipped at his beerāa stark contrast to the overall atmosphere of the group.
āHey guys, the birthday boy has a suggestion!ā Jake laughs as Jay stands up, clearly too tipsy for his well-being. āAlright, friends.ā
He looks around, before turning to us again. āThe single ones, tonight everyone needs to get laid.ā The others are already chiming in with excited replies.
In the group, only Jake has a girlfriend, someone whoās not in our friendgroup. You saw her a few times during hangouts where heād bring her but sheās not here tonight.
āHell yes.ā Yunjin cheers, āGotta find someone to make out with tonight!ā The others join, yelling about not wanting to go home tonight or, having their protections ready.
āWait, so weāre seperating?ā You ask and the groupās eyes turn back to you, a chorus of agreeing nods and reassurances greeting you.
āDuh,ā Jay smirks. āItās the perfect time to pick up some cuties, right, Heeseung?ā He looks at the man who has been silent since the conversation started.
He looks at you, before looking away, āYeah, plenty on the dance floor.ā
Jake looks at you, āIāll leave early then, what about you, Y/N?ā
I turn to the girls. āSeriously?ā
Ryujin shakes her head, gaze going to the crowded dance floor. āThere are some fine ass guys here. No way Iām gonna glued to your side all night.ā She laughs.
You groan at that, watching everyone slowly leaves the booth.
Everyone except one person.
Heeseung sets his drink on the table and smirks at you, voice soft but clear despite the loud music of the club.
āGuess that leaves just you and me, princess?ā He murmur, leaning back againts the booth and spreading his arms across the back of the couch. āYouāre gonna keep me company all night?ā
āHeeseung, no petnames.ā
Hisa smirk faltered for half a secondājust long enough to betray the sting of your words. His jaw tightened as he pulled his arms back, resting them on the table instead.
"Right." he muttered, tone clipped. "Y/N."
The way he said it was too formal nowāalmost cold. He took another sip of beer before adding, "Guess I'll just sit here alone then since you don't want anything to do with me either."
You frown, āI didnāt say that.ā
A scoff escaped Heeseung's lips at thatāsomething between a huff of irritation and a laugh.
"Could've fooled me." He mutter, running a hand through his hair. "You've been keeping your distance all goddamn night, avoiding even looking at me."
āWell, the others are around. And thatās our rule?ā
He rolled his eyes at that, a sharp scoff cutting through the air. His expression is hard, almost cold.
āLike they care, Y/N.ā He replies sharply, āTheyāre grown adults and they know weāre friends since weāre ten. A little closeness wouldnāt make them go crazy.ā
You sigh, āButāā
Heeseung cut you off with a sharp, frustrated gesture of his hand.
"But what?" he bit out, voice low and roughāalmost pleading now. "You're acting like I'm some dirty secret. Like this is something to be ashamed of."
A pause as he ran a hand over his face before muttering: "Just tell me what the hell you want from me."
āā¦You know they make a big deal once thereās a couple in the friendgroup.ā You look down.
Heeseung let out a dry, brittle laugh at that, almost bitter. "Yeah. Just like you make a big deal out of me saying goddamn petnames."
He leaned back in the booth, fixing you with a dark gaze. "What's it matter? Are you embarrassed of me or something?"
You look at him, āWhat? Of course not!ā
Heeseung's jaw tightened at that, his grip on the beer bottle turning white-knuckled again. He stared at you for a long momentāsilent, calculating.
"Then why?" he finally bit out, "You act like I'm some secret to hide. Like this isn't real."
A pause as he shook his head slightly. "Fuck it. Forget I said anything."
You stood up, taking his hand. āWhatever, letās dance.ā
Heeseung's eyes widened in surprise for a half-second. His gaze flickered down to where you held his hand, something like hope flickering across his faceāalmost too brief to catch. He let you pull him up from the booth, but his grip tightened on your hand as he looked at you, almost uncertain.
"You're not just doing this to shut me up, are you?" he asks, voice gruff.
You didnāt reply as you drag him. Heeseung let you lead him to the dancefloor, his eyes never leaving you as you moved through the crowd. The music was low and sensualāperfect for the kind of dancing that required touch.
He placed a hand on your hipāhesitating for a moment before pulling you flush against him, chest-to-chest. His hand stayed there, grip firm and possessive.
He lets out a soft hum, his hands moving slowly to feel your back. Your breath hitch, as your fronts kept brushing while you sway to the music.
But you canāt let anyone see this.
āHeeseung, I said danceāā Your palms softly againts his chest to push him away. āY/N, itās just one dance.ā He looks into your eyes, pleading now.
āNo. Donāt be too close, Hee. The others are going to see.ā You say, and that made him snap.
Heeseung exhaled sharply through his nose, frustration flashing across his face as he finally let go of your hipāhands raising in mock surrender.
"Fine." he bit out, stepping back just enough to put space between you two. His jaw was still clenched tight though, eyes burning with something unreadable. "You want distance? You got it. Iām done.ā
He took another step back into the crowdāletting the bodies around them swallow him up until all you could see was a flash of dark hair and tense shoulders before he disappeared entirely.
You know you didnāt just pushed him away physically, but mentally as well.
āā¦Fuck.ā You mutter to yourself as you try to get away from the crowd.
You wove your way through the people, trying to weave through the packed club. The music was loud and crowdedāflashing lights and hot bodies everywhere.
You stumbled around another group of people, muttering under your breath as you tried to search for any sign of Heeseung. "Dammit." you cursed under your breath, "Where did that idiot disappear toā¦"
Your gaze flickered over the crowdāsearching the sea of bodies for a familiar head of dark hair. You weaved through the people, cursing under your breath as each passing face proved just how hard it was to find someone in a club this packed.
"Damn it." you mutter again, frustration growing as the minutes ticked on. Where the hell was he?
You give up on searching and just sit back down on the empty large couch that was full with your friends earlier.
āGuess Iām the solo one tonight.ā You sigh, taking a sip āBy choice.ā
And stupidity.
You slumped back into the booth, a sense of defeat washing over you as you realized how alone you were now. Everyone was off in pairs or in groupsāand you were stranded in the booth on your own.
Your thoughts kept wandering back to Heeseungāthe way he'd looked at you before he stormed off, the way his touch seared against your hipsābut you pushed it aside, telling yourself to forget about him for now.
The feeling of being lonely in the club was something you were all too familiar with. Your friends were off with whoever they were hooking up with for the night, while you were left behind, alone in the booth like some third-wheel.
The sense of isolation was crushing. The music was too loud, the lights were too bright, and the people were too drunk. You felt completely alone in the chaos of it all.
However, usually Heeseung would come sit next to you, quickly coming out with conversations thatād make you forget being sad and laugh.
Thatās how your best friend would usually come during times like these.
Yeah, your best friend.
Who also is your fuck-buddy. Who isnāt exclusively yours and you always try to stay aware of that fact.
The minutes ticked by like hours, and you sat there in the booth, nursing your drink as you watched the crowd around you. Everywhere you looked, people were dancing together, touching each other, having a good timeā¦while you were stuck sitting there, alone. It was like a cruel reminder of how singled out you were in the club.
You pushed yourself up from the booth and made your way through the crowd, heading towards the washroom. Finally, some solitude.
You pushed the door open and slipped inside, the sound of the music muted now as the door swung shut behind you. The washroom was mercifully empty, and you let out a sigh of relief as you leaned against the sink.
You went out a few minutes after and you caught sight of a coupleāpressed up against a wall, all over each other. The man's face was pressed against the woman's neck as they kissed, hands roaming over each other andāwait.
His face was familiar, even from this distance. You recognized that face. Heeseung?
Your best friend?
āā¦Wow.ā You mutter softly to yourself as you walk away.
It was definitely him. There was no mistaking that faceāthe sharp jawline, the dark eyes, the defined features. That was unmistakably Heeseung. He was making out with some random girl in the corner.
Your stomach churned with something you refused to identify as jealousy. You looked away, trying to push down the bitter feeling in your chest.
āI deserved this. I was pushing him away all night.ā You sigh as you slumped back into the booth, your earlier frustration giving way to something heavierāsomething that felt a lot like regret.
The club was still loud, still chaotic around you, but it all faded into background noise as you replayed every stupid thing you'd said to Heeseung in your head.
āFuck."you muttered under your breath, "I really messed this up."
The bitter taste of the drink on your tongue did nothing to distract from the gnawing guilt in your chest.
You sat in the booth for what felt like ages, wallowing in the realization that it was entirely your fault. You'd spent all night pushing Heeseung awayāreacting coldly to his touch, distancing yourself from him as much as possible. And now look where that got you.
Alone in the boothā¦while he was making out with some girl in a corner. It was almost pathetic how much it hurt.
The image of him, kissing some random girl in the corner, was stuck in your head like a broken record. You couldn't stop thinking about itāreplaying it over and over like some kind of sick punishment.
The guilt was eating you up inside, twisting your stomach in knots. You'd been so hellbent on keeping Heeseung at arm's length, and now look where it got you.
He was off making out with someone else while you sat alone in the booth like a goddamn idiot.
āHis dick was literally in me hours ago.ā
Your own words hit you like a punch to the gut, sharp and brutal. The realization that someone else was probably getting her hands on him nowāafter heād been buried inside youāmade your stomach twist violently.
You have always been in love with him. Likeāhow can you not? But in college, you both agreed only to have sex, feel good, and thatās it. Other than that? Heās your best friend.
The lines were blurry sometimes? But Heeseungās careless. You need to be the one whoās keeping the both of you in check. Reminding itās all casual.
Or is it?
"Fuck.ā You dropped your head into your hands, nails digging into your scalp as if it could physically tear the thought out of you. "I really am an idiot."
The thought of him touching her the way heād touched youāhands sliding over skin, lips pressed to throat, voice rough in her earāmade your chest burn with something dangerously close to rage. And worse? The fact that he probably didnāt even give a shit about what you wanted anymore.
"I did this."you muttered into your palms, "I fucking pushed him until there was nothing left for me."
A bitter laugh escaped you as the truth settled in like poison: āGuess I got exactly what I asked for."
Your fingers fumbled slightly as you pulled out your phone, scrolling through the app with stiff movements. The club lights were too bright nowātoo loud, too much.
"Cab in 5 minutes," you muttered to yourself, shoving the phone back into your pocket. You didnāt even bother looking for anyone else in the groupālet them stay gone.
The thought of Heeseung stumbling back to an empty booth later crossed your mindā¦but you crushed it underfoot as you grabbed your jacket and stood up.
You walked towards the exit, shoulders slumped and head down. The cool air of the night enveloped you, like a cold slap to the faceāgrounding you in a way the stuffy air of the club couldn't. You shoved your hands in your pockets, jaw clenched as you stood outside, waiting for the cab.
The wait felt endless, each second like torture as your thoughts spiraled. You couldn't stop thinking about the look on Heeseung's face when you'd pushed him awayāthe flash of disappointment, mixed with frustration.
What an idiot you were. You'd had it all, right there, and you let it slip through your fingers like it meant nothing. The guilt gnawed at your stomach, sharp and bitter.
Your thoughts were a mess of imagesāHeeseung, his touch, the way his voice sounded when he'd said your name.
A bright light suddenly cut through the dark night, jolting you out of your thoughts as a cab pulled up in front of you. The driver called out, asking for a location. You hesitated for a moment, your gaze flicking back towards the entrance of the clubāas if for some kind of sign.
But there was nothing waiting for you there. Just the loud music and the flashing lights of the club.
You took a deep breath, pushing aside the ache in your heart as you gave the driver your address.
The cab ride was longālonger than it normally would have felt. You watched the city pass by outside the windowāall the people on the street, all the bright lights, all the couples laughing and touching each other. Everything that was out of reach for you now.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket, making you jump a little. You fumbled for a moment, clumsily pulling it out and tapping the screen awake. The sudden light of the screen stung your eyesāblindingly bright after the darkness of the cab.
Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the name on the screen. It was a text from Heeseung.
hee: where the hell are you?
You stare at the message, your heart pounding. Your thumb hover over it, half-tempted to ignore it all together. But damn it, you canāt resist. You type your reply.
you: on my way home.
The reply was almost instant. Your heart gave another painful squeeze, but you couldn't help the little flicker of hope that flared in your chest. Goddamn it all.
hee: alone??
you: everyoneās busy. donāt wanna disturb.
The reply was slower this timeāas if he was debating his response. The 'typing' dots appeared and disappeared a few times before Heeseung finally sent the message. You stared at the screen, almost holding your breath as you waited for his next text.
hee: can i call?
you: the driver is a woman, you donāt have to.
Another pause, and then the call notification flashed across your screen. You hesitated for only a moment more before accepting. You put the phone to your ear, heart in your throat.
Heeseung's voice came through the line, low and hoarse. God, those damn chills it sent down your spine should be illegal.
"You left." he said, a note of something almost like hurt edging into the words. It was so subtle, you almost missed it.
āSaid you donāt have to call, Iām safe.ā
There was a pause on the other end of the line, as if Heeseung was debating whether to say something or not. When he finally spoke again, the words came out sharp and frustrated.
"Damnit, I don't care if you're safe." he muttered, his voice laced with something like irritation and something else you couldn't quite name. "That's not the goddamn point."
You frown, āYou donāt care..?ā
He sighed, and it came out more like a ragged huff. "I didn't mean it like that, goddamn it. You justā" He broke off, his tone taking on a frustrated edge as he continued.
"You left without saying anything. Didn't even send a goddamn text. Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
āā¦You were busy.ā
There was an incredulous sound on the other end of the lineālike Heeseung had just rolled his eyes or something. When he spoke again, there was a hint of bitterness in his voice.
"So? That doesn't matter. I'd never be too busy for you." he grumbled, a note of something like annoyanceāor was that hurt?ācoloring his words.
"You know that. You could've at least let me know you were leaving. You just disappeared, without a goddamn word."
āWell? With the way Iām alone the whole time and everyone is sucking other peopleās lips? Of course.ā
Heeseung's response came almost immediately, sharp and bitingāa hint of something almost like anger in his voice now.
āYou think I wanted this? You think I wanted to spend the night like that? You're the one who kept pushing me away all night. What the hell did you expect." he snapped, the words coming out harsh and frustrated.
"You were so goddamn cold all nightādid you really expect me not to go find someone else to keep me distracted?"
āI told you we have to be discreetāā
Heeseung cut you off before you could finish, his voice rising as irritation flared in his tone.
"Yeah, I know. You told me. But damn, was it so goddamn hard to give me a bit of attention? Even a little touch? You acted like you didn't want me near you at all. What the hell was I supposed to do?"
He was definitely angry nowāthe words coming out harsh and sharp. You could hear him breathing heavily on the other end of the line, like he was trying to control his own emotions.
"You wanted me to act like a friend? That's what you wanted? To push me away anytime I tried to get close? To act like we're nothing more than friends? Fine, I did what you wanted. I acted like I didn't care. Like you don't mean anything to me. That's the whole damn point, isn't it?"
His voice dropped dangerously low at that, sharp and bitter.
"You think I don't know what you want? You think I donāt see it?" A rough exhale came through the phoneāalmost a growl. āI just spent half the night watching you act like you didnāt even want me to breathe in your direction. So yeah. Maybe I got tired of playing by your goddamn rules."
A pause as his tone shifted slightlyāsomething almost wounded seeping into his next words:
"But sure. Let's pretend this is all on me."
You were speechless, the words cutting into you like a damn knife. Because as angry as he sounded, he wasn't even wrong.
You'd given him the cold shoulder all night, pushing him away again and againāand now you were going to act offended when he went and found someone else to give him the attention you refused him? It was a gut-wrenching realization.
His breathing was ragged on the other end of the lineālike he was struggling to keep his voice even. When he finally spoke again, it came out low and rough.
āYou really don't get it, do you?" A bitter chuckle. "I didnāt go with her because I wanted to. I did it because you kept pushing me away until there wasn't a goddamn thing left for me."
A sharp inhaleāalmost pained. "But yeah. Sure. Let's act like this is all my fault."
You sigh, āItās not your fault, Heeāā
He huffed, the sound sharp and bitter.
"Damn straight it's not my fault. It's yours. You're the one who wanted to keep this a goddamn secret. You're the one who wanted to act like we were just friends."
He let out a low scoff. "Don't get pissed at me for finding someone who wanted to give me the attention you refused to."
The words stung, more brutally than you wanted to admit. Because part of you knew he was right. You'd been the one to set the rulesāset the boundaries.
You'd pushed him away every time he got close, every time he touched you, every time he got too intimate.
And now you had the audacity to get pissed off when he finally got tired of the game and found someone else? It was a bitter pill to swallow.
In public, the only time you want to be all touchy feely with someone is when itās exclusive. When itās established. Not some hookup, or a fuck-buddy. Even when itās your best friend. Even when itās Heeseung.
You start to feel your tension increase as well, āIs this why you called? To bitch at me?ā
His huff of irritation was almost a snarl. "No. I called because I was goddamn worried. But then you started this bullshit. You really gonna act like you're the victim here?" He scoffed, his voice taking on a bitter edge. "You've been cold all night, pushing me away every time I tried to touch you. You can't blame me for finding someone else to give me some goddamn affection."
The words felt like a punch to your gut. Because goddamn it, how did this get twisted so much? Hadn't you been trying to do the right thing? To keep things casual, to keep things secret?
But now it felt like you were the bad guy. The one who drove him into another girl's arms. The guilt twisted in your chest, the realization that your rules had backfired coming down on you like a ton of bricks.
āIt was mutually agreed in the first place, we keep it from our friends.ā You say, tone no nonsense.
He cut you off with a sharp, frustrated soundāalmost like he couldn't even believe what he was hearing.
"You really donāt get it. Do you?" His voice dropped to something low and roughādangerous. "I donāt give a shit about the secret. I care that you act like I'm some dirty little mistake even when we're alone."
A pause as his breathing hitched slightly. "So yeah. Maybe I went looking for someone who won't make me feel like garbage.ā
Once he noticed the silence on your end of the line, and he let out a dry laughāthe sound sharp and almost cruel.
"What? Nothing to say now? No explanation for why you've been treating me like I don't even exist all goddamn night?" he muttered, the frustration and hurt coming through in his tone. "Go ahead. Say something. Tell me this isn't all on me. You know you want to."
You were done, you didnāt want to talk anymore as you feel your emotions are starting to get over you, āDonāt you have a girl waiting for you? Hang up.ā
Heeseung's laugh this time was bitterāalmost angry. He was getting pissed nowāangry at you, at the whole damn situation, at himself for even caring so much.
He wanted to snap back, to say something cutting and cruelāto hurt you as much as you hurt him. But instead, he forced himself to take a deep breath, his voice coming out low and hoarse
"Yeah. I do have a girl waiting for me. So why the hell am I even still talking to you?" he muttered, irritation edging into the words.
āDonāt be surprised when Iām not there to wait for you anymore. With the others around or not.ā
That was the last thing he said before hanging up.
The tears stung in your eyes as the dial tone cut through the air, the silence in the cab suddenly feeling heavy and oppressive.
You tried to push away the feeling of guilt twisting in your gut, the realization that all of this was your damn fault hitting you like a ton of bricks.
You'd pushed him away, pushed him to look for comfort elsewhere, and now he'd gone and found it. In someone else's arms, someone who was probably giving him the affection you refused to give him all night.
A bitter laugh escaped your lips. Heeseung was rightāyou hadn't even given him a goddamn explanation for treating him like a dirty secret. You'd just expected him to accept it, to put up with being treated like a mistake you couldn't let anyone find about.
But he wasn't just some goddamn mistake. He was your best goddamn friend, the one person who mattered more to you than anyone else.
And you were treating him like he was nothing more than a dirty little secret to be kept hidden away in the shadows. How goddamn stupid were you?
The tears came even harder nowāhot and fast, the weight of guilt and regret crashing over you like a goddamn wave. You'd messed up. And not just a little bitāyou'd royally screwed up. You'd pushed away the one person who meant more to you than anything elseāall because of your stupid fear of people finding out.
So there you were, sitting in the backseat of a damn cab, crying like a fool over the man you'd driven into another girl's arms.
The image of him with that other girl burned in your mindāhis hands touching her like they should've been touching you, his head bent close to hers like it should've been bent down to whisper in your ear instead.
You wanted to scream, to turn back time and undo every goddamn stupid choice that led to this moment. Because right now, all you wanted was for him to be there with youānot in someone else's arms.
The last few days had been hell. The image of Heeseung with that other girl kept replaying in your damn head like a broken recordāthe guilt twisting in your gut every time you thought about it.
You'd tried to keep yourself occupied, to throw yourself into work, into anything that would get your mind off of him. But no matter what you did, all you could think about was him. His smile, his laugh, the sound of his voice, the way his hands felt against your skin.
You stayed away from the friend group as best as you could, giving excuse after excuse about why you couldn't hang out.
"I've got meetings this week." "There's a new project I'm helping out on." "Sorry, I can't come out tonightāI'm too swamped with paperwork." A hundred different bullshit reasons, all avoiding the goddamn truth.
The days bled togetherāsame excuses, same routine. Youād show up to the hospital early, leave late, avoid any group texts with a million replies you didnāt have energy for.
And if anyone noticed how quiet you'd gotten? How your eyes kept darting toward the door like some part of you was still waiting for him?
No one called it out.
At least until Yunjin herself comes to your workplace, bringing you out for a lunch break.
She appeared in the doorway of your office, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. The look on her face was a mix of concern and stubbornnessāthe kind that said she wasn't leaving without you.
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" she demanded, "You've been dodging us for days. And don't even try to feed me that 'workload' bullshitāI know damn well you're not scheduled for anything, Iām literally in a department next to yours."
Her gaze softened slightly as she took in your tired expression. "C'mon, Y/N. Let's go eat something before I drag you out by force."
You felt like passing out. You canāt believe Yunjin Huhāthe manager of the HR department, going all the way to the Finance department for something as personal as a friendgroup problem during working hours.
You continue looking at your computer screen because thereās just no way.
Yunjin scoffed, her arms dropping to her sides as she shot you a look that said "seriously?" She rolled her eyes and pushed off the doorframe, striding into your office without a care for personal space.
"Alright, that's it. No bullshit excuses. You're coming with me, even if I have to drag you out by the ear." she said, her voice leaving no room for argument.
āHow the hell did you get in here without work business?ā You question, looking at her.
Yunjin shrugged, a sly smirk crossing her face. "Please. Iām the bossās favourite" she jokes.
She paused, taking in your tired, distracted state. Her expression softened slightlyāalmost like she knew exactly what was going on. āAnd stop trying to change the subject. You're coming with me. Period."
Yunjin led the way to the cafe, her expression determined. The cafe was packed with hospital staff, the place buzzing with the usual lunchtime rush. She weaved her way through the crowd effortlessly, finding an empty table near the window.
She plopped into the chair across from you, her eyes scanning your face intently. "Okay. Spill. What the hell is going on? And don't give me any of that bullshit."
You sigh as you lean back.
Yunjin raised an eyebrow, watching you closely as you sighed.
She knew something was upāyour expression, your demeanor, the fact that you'd been avoiding the friend group like the damn plague. She leaned forward, her voice softening slightly.
āC'mon, Y/N. You can tell me. You know that. Is this about Heeseung?"
Your gaze snap at her. āHow..ā
Yunjin rolled her eyes, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Don't act surprised, okay? You two aren't exactly subtle."
Her gaze softened as she took in your expressionāthe way your eyes flicked away, the way you avoided looking directly at her, the guilt etched into every line on your face.
"Besides, you've been avoiding the friend group for like, a week now. We're not idiots, you know."
You keep quiet. Not knowing what to answer to that.
Yunjin sighed, her expression softening further as she reached across the table and touched your hand.
Her touch was light, but it was groundingāa reminder that she was there, that she cared.
āHey. Talk to me. What happened between you and Heeseung?ā
You look at her. And then your hands together.
āWeāve been sleeping togetherā¦all this time.ā You reveal to her.
Yunjin's eyes widened at your confession. She hadn't been expecting such a blunt answerāor such blunt wordsāand it took her a moment to process what you'd said.
But she was a smart girl, and it didn't take her long to fit the pieces together.
The late nights, the secret text messages, the tension between you and Heeseungā¦ It all made sense now. She leaned back in her chair, her expression a mix of surprise and understanding.
"You've been hooking up the whole time? Since when?ā
āFinal year.ā You nodded. āAnd..we didnāt plan on telling you guys because, it was physical. Weāre best friends. Thatās all. Nothing exclusive.ā
Yunjin let out a slow breath, her gaze never leaving yours.
The cafe noise faded into background static as she studied your faceāthe exhaustion in your eyes, the tension in your jaw. āY/N.ā Her voice was quieter nowāless teasing, more serious.
"You don't get to call something 'physical' when you're crying over it for days straight."
A pause as she leaned forward slightly, āSo tell me. What's really going on?"
You hesitate before answering.
āI made rules when we were still hooking up, to never show it when you guys are around. But, I was so anxious that youāre gonna caught us, so I just decided to push him away all together. Acting like if heās too close Iāll burn.ā You chuckle, but it didnāt reach my eyes.
āI know what we had was casual, and strictly no feelings involved. We were friends the longest in the friendgroup, so I never wanted to ruin that. Andā¦ā You look down, your free hand fumbling.
āAnd?ā Yunjin urges.
āAnd I freaking like him. Iām in love with him. I think I already did during highschool. And now with intimacy involved? Itāsā¦insane.ā
Yunjin noddedālike she'd already guessed as much.
She'd seen the way you looked at Heeseung, seen the chemistry between the two of you. It was obvious to anyone with eyes.
"And he likes you, idiot. Any moron could see that."
Your eyes went to her, before shaking your head.
āEven if thatās true, we still did everything out of order. In what world that can work? And what will the others think?
She snorted, reaching across the table to flick your forehead lightly. "Who cares about 'order'? Since when do you give a shit about what anyone thinks?"
She leaned in, her voice lowering as she fixed you with a dead-serious look. "Heeseung's been obsessed with you for years. And yeahāmaybe it started as casual. But that doesn't mean it can't be something more."
A smirk tugged at her lips. "Unless you're too chicken to try."
You huff, āYunjin, Iām serious!ā
She raised an eyebrow, her smirk growing wider. She was enjoying this a bit too much nowāthe way your face got all worked up, the way you tried so damn hard to be calm and composedā¦
She leaned in, resting her chin on her handāstill smirking like a smartass. "Yeah? Then what's the problem? If you like each other, just be together. Seems like a no-brainer to me."
āā¦And if we donāt work? Iām risking my best friend here.ā Your lips tremble.
Yunjin's smirk vanished. Her expression shiftedāsuddenly serious, her eyes sharp as she studied you.
"That's bullshit and you know it." She pointed a finger at your face. "Heeseung isn't the type to throw away years of friendship over one messy breakup. And neither are you."
A pause as she crossed her arms, "But fineāif that's really what scares you? Then tell him how you feel before things go any further. No more hiding behind 'casual' crap when we both know damn well this is more than that for both of ya."
āEasier said than done.ā
She rolled her eyes, exasperated now. "Nothing worth doing ever is, idiot. This isn't a Disney movie where everything turns out perfect."
She leaned back in her chair, a sigh escaping her as she ran a hand through her hair. "LookāI get it. It's risky, it's scaryā¦but you're not doing yourself any favor by keeping your mouth shut. You want Heeseung, right?"
You took a deep breath, before nodding.
Yunjin nodded too, her gaze steady on yours.
"Then you gotta take a damn chance" she said firmly.
"Tell him how you feel. Make it clear. Because if you don't, you'll be spending the next who-knows-how-long wondering 'what if' every goddamn time you see him with someone else."
You tilt your head in confusion, āYou know about the girl?ā
Yunjin rolled her eyes again, scoffing. "Of course I know. You think we're all blind, dumbass?"
She paused, her gaze still locked onto yours. "Heeseung's been weird all weekāedgy, short-tempered. None of us are that stupid to not put two and two together. We've been friends with him just as long as you have, you know. We know when he's acting off."
She leaned forward again, her expression turning serious again.
āAnd even if none of us knew, we aren't blind enough to miss how you've been avoiding everyone like the goddamn plague. Do you have any idea how shitty it feels to see our friend, someone we care about, acting like we don't exist, just because they're too scared to talk about a boy?"
She shook her head, her voice tinged with frustration now. āSo yes. I know about the girl. And it's pissing me off to see you let it go down this way."
āA boy whoās also in the same friendgroup as you and can literally make things awkward once we date each other.ā
Yunjin rolled her eyes yet again, her expression going fond despite herself. āRegardless, heās a friend who's head over heels for you. You really think we don't see it? The tension between the two of you? The looks, the stolen touches during hangouts, the way his eyes follow you around like some goddamn lost puppyā¦?"
She paused, shaking her head as she leaned back in her chair. āHell, even the way he talks about you when you're not aroundā¦it's sickeningly sweet."
Your gaze drop again, āThat night, we argued. After I push him away, he just stopped fighting back. Weā¦we never really argued like that before, you know?ā
Yunjin's expression softened as she took in your demeanorāthe way you were avoiding her gaze, staring down at your hands like your whole damn world was falling apart.
She reached across the table, her voice quieter now, more gentle. "Heyā¦ Look at me.ā
"Arguing means you care." Her voice dropped lowerāalmost fierce now. āYou think Jake and his girl never fight? They fight a lot during our hangouts, even sometimes she left without him. Itās hilarious.ā
A pause as she leaned in closer, āBut the next time we see them? Theyāre closer than ever.ā
Yunjin's grip on your wrist tightened slightlyānot enough to hurt, but enough to make you look at her. Her expression was dead serious now.
"Listen to me." Her voice was low, firm.
"Heeseung is a goddamn idiot for letting things go that far with some random girl when it's you he wants. But if you're really this scared?"
She let out a slow breath before continuing,
"Then go talk to him before this gets any more messed up. Or I swear to god, I'll drag both of you into a closet and lock the door until one of ya says something real."
You chuckle, before shaking your head.
āNo need, Iāllā¦try to call him today.ā You smile at her, in which she smiled back.
Yunjin's smirk returned, sharp and victorious.
"Good. Because I will follow through on that threat."
She leaned back in her chair, arms crossedālooking way too smug for someone who just basically blackmailed you into fixing your love life. "And if he picks up? Don't be a coward about it. Just say what you mean."
A pause as she pointed a warning finger at you, "Or I will find outā¦and then we're having another talk."
A few hours had passed since lunch, and the moon was up high in the sky when you finally worked up the courageāyour finger hovering over the call button.
Heeseung's contact stared up at you from the screen, the profile picture a stupid picture of him making a funny face. As the phone rang, your heart thudded in your chest.
Each second felt like forever as the call rang once, twiceā¦and then, finallyāon the third ring, Heeseung's voice came through the other end of the line.
"Hello?" His voice was casual, almost distant, like he didn't have a clue what you were calling for.
āā¦Hi. Itās me.ā You say quietly.
There was a pause, a beat of silence on his endāthen his voice came through again, lower now, a tinge of hesitancy in the words.
"Hey." The single word was quiet, an uncertain exhale. It sounded like he couldn't tell if you were calling to talk or to yell at him again. The thought sent a pang through youāthe same guilt you'd had ever since that goddamn argument with him.
You hummed.
Heeseung exhaled on the other end of the line, almost like he was bracing himself. "Spit it out. I know you didn't call just to say uhm."
His tone wasnāt harshājust tired, a little rough around the edges. Like maybe he hadn't slept well since that night either.
āā¦Could you pick me up tonight after work? At 11.ā
Heeseung went quiet for a moment, clearly surprised by your request.
You could almost hear his brain working, trying to guess what the hell you were up to.
But eventually, he sighedāa resigned sound, like he knew he was walking straight into your trap, whatever it was.
āYeah, I can." The words came out with a hint of wariness, but it was clear he'd already made up his mind to do what you asked. āI'll be there."
āThanks, see you, Hee.ā
There was a pause on the other end of the lineāalmost like he was hesitating, wanting to say something before you hung up. But in the end, he didn't.
"See you." He replied, his voice gruff, before the line clicked to silence. You were left with the buzz of the phone in your hand and a churning guilt in your stomach.
A few hours passed as you finished your shift, the minutes ticking by excruciatingly slow as you tried to keep your mind off of the fact that you'd be seeing Heeseung again in less than an hour.
By the time the clock hit 11, your heart was in your throat, your hands shaking a bit walked out of the office building. You were exhausted, the long shift taking its toll on your bodyā¦but that was the least of the things on your mind right now.
Heeseung was already there when you walked outāstanding outside the building, leaning against his car and lit cigarette in hand.
He lookedā¦tired.
Almost like he'd had a damn long week too, dark circles under his eyes. But of course, being the goddamn handsome bastard he was, it didn't take away how good he looked.
He pushed off the car when he saw you approach, tossing the cigarette and crushing it under his foot.
āReal nice. Smoking in front of a working civilian? Told ya to quit.ā
He scoffed, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he opened the car door for you to get in.
The action was so damn effortlessāit was so damn natural, the casual ease he had when he was around you. It made your heart twist a bit, but you pushed the thought away.
"What, gonna go all doctor and tell me the dangers of smoking now?" he said dryly, watching as you got in.
Heeseung walked around the car and got in the driver's seat, starting the engine and pulling out of the buildingās parking lot.
For a few seconds, he was silent, staring out the windshield with the same stoic expression he always had.
The only difference was that damn tired look in his eyes, the slight heaviness in the air between you. And thenā
"So." He cut through the tense silence, his eyes flicking to you. "You gonna tell me why you wanted me to pick you up at the goddamn office?"
You leaned into his carseat, the familiar scent of his car calming you slightly, but not entirely.
āYou always do.ā
He rolled his eyes, a scoff leaving his lips as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. And of course that goddamn motion caught your eye, because damn it, those hands were so attractive.
But no. You weren't gonna get distracted by that tonight, no matter how many times the thought had plagued you in the last week.
āStop avoiding the question, smartass." he said, his gaze glued to the road but his voice sharp.
I sighed. āIām sorry, for acting stupid the other night.ā
Heeseung's gaze flicked to you for a second before he focused back onto the road, the muscles in his jaw tensing as he replied.
There was a hint of something in his voiceālike you'd just hit a damn nerve.
āThat's all I get? Just an apology and nothing else?" His voice was low, rough around the edges. Like he was trying to hold himself back from saying something else, some damn emotion that was itching to come out.
Heeseung exhaled sharply, his grip tightening on the steering wheel againāknuckles going white for a second before he forced himself to relax.
āYou kept pushing me away like I was some goddamn mistake." The words came out rough, almost pained. "And then you got pissed when I went and found someone who didn't make me feel like garbage. That's what this is about."
A pause as he shot you a sideways glance, āSo yeah. You were acting stupid."
You winced under the harsh words, the guilt in your gut twisting harder at the truth in the words. Because the worst part was, he was right.
You'd been a goddamn hypocrite, expecting him to wait around for you like some idiot while you pushed him away yourself.
But you weren't gonna admit that. Not right now, when he was acting like that.
So you forced yourself to scoff, crossing your arms over your chest defensivelyātrying to hide the damn guilt from him. From yourself. āThat's a goddamn exaggeration and you know it. Thatās why Iām apologising right now.ā
Heeseung huffed in disbelief at your damn nonchalance, his eyes still fixed on the road in front of him.
But you didn't miss the way his jaw clenched, the way his fingers tightened on the steering wheelāhe was trying goddamn hard to hold back his emotions, to keep his cool.
But he was failing. You could see it in the tension in his shoulders, the tightness in his jaw.
He was frustrated.
āYeah, wellā¦your apology sucks."
āā¦Want me to write a letter?ā
A bitter laugh escaped his lipsāshort, sharp laugh that sounded more like a scoff. The sound sent a pang through you. Damn it, he really was frustrated.
āHow 'bout an essay, smartass." He shot back with a mocking tilt to his lips. āWith proper citations and everything."
You sigh, āAre youā¦still talking to that girl?ā
Heeseung's grip on the steering wheel tightened for a split secondāhis jaw clenching as he shot you a sharp glance. The question clearly caught him off guard, and from the look in his eyes? He wasn't about to let that slide.
āThat's what this is about?" His voice dropped lower, rougher. "You want to know if I'm still talking to her? After all that goddamn guilt-tripping?"
A bitter scoff left his lips before he added, "No. Not anymore.ā
āIām not guilt-tripping.ā You try to say,
Heeseung scoffed at your denial, the sound harsh and disbelieving. Like you were being a goddamn idiot and he had no patience for it.
āBullshit,"he said bluntly, his knuckles turning white around the steering wheel again.
"You say you're sorry for acting like an idiot, and then in the very next moment, you ask me about some other girl. That's textbook guilt-tripping."
He glanced at you again, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"Or do you not think I can see straight through you?"
The silence in the car went on for a few seconds, the air thick with tension. You could've heard a damn pin drop.
Heeseung's irritation lingered, his jaw clenching as he gripped the steering wheel like he was fighting the urge to snap at you.
His fingers drummed an irritated rhythm against the wheel, like he was trying to burn off some of the anger with that small motion.
"Say something, goddamnit."
āā¦I didnāt want to tell the others about us not because Iām embarrassed of you.ā You start,
āItās..just complicated. Weāre not dating. Itās casual. So why do we have to tell them? We donāt owe them anything.ā
Heeseung's expression hardened at your words, the look in his eyes almost cold now. He didn't look at you as he spoke, his gaze fixed firmly on the road ahead, but his tone was sharp.
"Right. So it's casual." He huffed out a humorless laugh, the sound bitter. "And yet for some goddamn reason, you still get all jealous when I start talking to someone else."
āFor the love of God, let me finish!ā You huff, and itās like the normal banter you always have again, except itās nothing unserious.
Heeseung's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his jaw clenching as he exhaled sharply through his nose.
The car fell into a heavy silence for a secondājust the hum of tires against pavement and your own damn heartbeat pounding in your ears.
"Fine." he finally bit out, still not looking at you. "Finish. But don't act surprised when I call bullshit on whatever excuse you're about to pull."
āā¦It was casual. But is it really? Even when we werenāt in bed, youād still call me petnames.ā You sigh,
Still make me meals, still stay the night, still drive me to and from work. I mean, youāre my best friend. Butā¦I feel..something now.ā
Heeseung's shoulders tensed as you spoke, his jaw clenching slightly as you listed off all theā¦coupley things he did for you.
It was like you were listing off every little thing he did to show you he cared, every way he proved he wasn't just some casual hook-up. And you were right, goddamnitāhe did all of that. He always had.
There was a long, heavy silence, and then he forced out a quiet, "What do you feel?"
You look at you trembling hands, āLove.ā
His breath stuttered for a split second, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel even more. The word hit him like a damn ton of bricks.
He'd been expecting some excuse, some stupid justificationāsome reason for why you felt something now.
But love? He almost couldn't believe his own goddamn ears.
He shot you a sharp, disbelieving look, like he was trying to see if you meant it. Like he was trying to see if this was just some cruel joke.
You take another deep breath, āWell-that's what I felt. At least,ā looking outside the window.
āBut I'm scared. Because we did everything out of order, and I'm not sure if we'll be okay. If-If we stopped, I'm not only gonna lose my boyfriend, but my best friend." You continue, voice slightly trembling now.
Heeseung went quiet, his expression softening slightly as he realized you were serious-as he saw the tremble in your voice, the fear on your face.
He wanted to tell you it would be okay. He wanted to pull you into his arms, to wrap you up in his embrace and soothe away the damn anxiety he heard in your words.
But he didn't. He took a deep breath, his shoulders tensing again as he gripped the steering wheel like a lifeline.
"..ls that the only reason you're telling me this now? Because you're scared of losing a friend?"
āYouāre not just a friend, Hee. Youāre basically my other half.ā You confess,
A low, heavy sigh left Heeseung's lips at those words, and this time, his shoulders slumped slightly.
It was like all the frustrated tension finally left his body, leaving just the tired, worn-out weight of those words.
Hearing you say that...it did something to him. It made his heart clench, made his breathing get a little uneven.
He looked over at you then, the look on his face almost vulnerable. "...Your other half, huh?"
You nod, not trying to filter anything now.
āYouāre my other half, someone who knows me the mostā I donātā I donāt think I can live normally again if we ever stopped being together, friends and all.ā
His breath caught in his throat at that statement, his chest tightening painfully.
You were saying the words so damn casually, like you didn't realize the weight they carried for him. He had to force himself to breathe, to speak past the sudden emotional lump in his throat.
His voice was a little hoarse when he finally managed to grit out a question. "And you're just telling me this now? After a whole goddamn week of avoiding each other? After years of dragging it as some hookup?ā
You keep quiet, silenced.
āThatās a question, Y/N.ā He bite out.
āIām sorry.ā
Your apologies are like a broken record by now, as he let out a bitter laugh.
āYouāve said that.ā
āBut itās the truth! Iām sorry I hurt you because I know I did, and I wasnāt acting my feelings for years straight.ā
He let out a sharp exhaled at your words, his jaw clenching as he tried to swallow back the mix of irritation and...hope that flared in him at your confession.
The mix of emotions was getting to be too damn much. He was tired, he was frustrated, and he was tired of the games.
He glanced over at you-and dammit if you didn't look like you meant it.
And Heeseung, damn his bleeding heart, couldn't deny that look in your eyes. He let out a low, exasperated sigh.
"You goddamn idiot." He said, his voice gruff.
"Do you have any idea how pissed I was? How goddamn frustrated l've been all week? I didn't know if you just regretted it, if you thought I was some stupid mistake, if...if I meant anything to you."
The words left his lips before he could stop them, a hint of vulnerability in the tone.
He was being damn honest for once, letting some of the emotional mess swirling around in his head spill out in front of you like that.
And you didnāt even realize youāve arrived to your complex. But he didnāt ask you to leave yet, he just parked his car and switched off the engine, the sudden silence in the car suddenly deafening.
For a moment, both of you just sat there, the tension in the air almost stifling.
Then, he looks over to you. His expressions are unreadable.
āWeāre here.ā he said simply, like it was some kind of warning.
A warning that this conversation was about to continue, and there was no avoiding it.
āYou were never, ever a mistake to me.ā You look into his eyes.
Heeseung's breath hitched at your words, the honest admission sending a pang through his heart.
He'd been going back and forth between annoyance and irritation all goddamn week-trying to convince himself you just regretted the hookup, trying to ignore the fact that he still wanted you.
Hearing you say that, hearing that quiet honesty in your voiceāit made it hard to hold onto the irritation.
It made him feel guilty for doubting you in the first place but damn it, he was still angry.
He stared at you for a long momentāyour expression, the way your hands were fidgeting in your lap.
The vulnerability in it all made his chest ache. He exhaled sharply through his nose, running a hand over his face like he was trying to physically push back the damn emotions clogging up his throat.
"I know that now," he finally muttered, "But it took you avoiding me and acting like I didn't exist for a week to say that shit."
A pause as he turn fully towards you now.
āYou donāt get to keep pushing me away and then act like that when I go looking elsewhere.ā
āIām not going to push you away anymore.ā
His breath caught in his chest at your quiet admission, the raw sincerity of it making something inside him ache.
He was still pissedāstill frustrated beyond belief but the confession did soften the edges.
āGood,ā He says gruffly. āBecause youāre not going to dismiss my feelings, not again.ā
That made you look at him, āWhat do you feel?ā
He froze at your sudden question, his heart leaping in his chest. The look in your eyes was damn intent, leaving no room for bullshit.
You were asking him what he felt-for real this time, not some half-ass excuse or half-true
response.
He clenched his jaw, conflicted. He wanted to be honest. He wanted to tell you exactly how he felt.
But part of him was still pissed, still frustrated by that week of avoiding each other, and he wanted to make you hurt just a little bit, too.
Gosh heās so petty.
āWhat do I feel? Iām pissed. Hella freaking pissed,ā he bit out at firstāzero hesitation, "Because you made me think I wasn't shit to you. That all of this"āa sharp gesture between the two of youā"was just some goddamn mistake."
A pause as he swallowed hard, his voice dropping lower.
"But I also feel like a damn idiot for caring this much when we never even called it what it was."
The sight of you wincing at his bitter confession made something in Heeseung ache, but he didn't let that stop him from speaking.
He'd been keeping this all bottled up for a week, and damn it, it was time for you to hear what that felt like.
He continued, the words falling out like a damn train wreck.
"You have any idea how much of an idiot I've been this past week? | thought you were ashamed of me. Like I was some kind of regret."
There was a note of anger in his voice still, the frustration and hurt of the past week coming out in sharp breaths as he continued.
"I was trying to keep my distance, trying to forget you. But you have no goddamn idea how that felt when I was lying in my bed every damn night, and all I could think of was you."
He took a sharp inhale, his throat tight with emotion. "I'm tired of being the one who cares, damn it."
You retort immediately, āI care too!ā
"Then damn it, why didn't you act like it?" He huffed out bitterly, his irritation and frustration getting the best of him. He was angry, so goddamn angry, but the hurt in his voice was undeniable.
"All you did was push me away. You acted cold, you avoided me, you never gave me a straight answer about us! You made me doubt everything we had! So excuse me if I thought you were ashamed!"
āItās because Iām fucking scared, Hee.ā
His shoulders tensed at that sudden outburst,
the raw emotion in your voice finally getting through his walls of anger-piercing through to the vulnerable thing beneath.
He felt that confession down to the very bone-and it only made His own guilt claw at his conscience.
But he was still angry, still hurt, and he needed you to understand why. "Scared of what?" he snapped, voice slowly rising.
"That maybe I'm ruining things with someone who probably know me the best out of everyone!ā You snap, āthat I'm ruining my friendship with someone I always wanted to be with!"
He felt those words like a punch to the gut. It was like you were saying everything that'd crossed his mind in the past week, and damn if it didn't hurt like hell.
A part of him, the soft part that loved you with all the damn intensity of the sun, wanted to pull you into his arms and soothe your fears.
But the part of him that was still hurt and angry kept him holding back.
"If you were so scared, then why did you let it get this far?ā He yell.
āStop yelling!ā
"I'll stop yelling when you start making some goddamn sense!" He fired back, his voice rising again as he struggled to rein in his emotions.
Goddamn it, he knew he was being unreasonably loud, but he couldn't help it.
He was struggling to hold back the mix of anger, hurt, and goddamn affection swirling through him at the sight of you, vulnerable and so damn familiar.
"You can't just avoid me for a week, act distant and cold, and expect me not to be pissed!"
You never heard him scream at you like this, at it scared you.
Your best friend, whoās smug and stupid at timeā but always so soft-spoken. Thatās one of a million things you loved about him.
The way he speaksā like heās scared if heās too loud or too harsh youāll fade away.
But right now? All of that is out of the window.
Rightfully so, heās hurt. You hurt him.
And nothing scares you more that hurting the one person you cared the most.
āPlease,ā you tear up.
Holy fuck, are you crying?
You wanted to slap the shit out of yourself.
āPlease donāt yell when Iām so fucking scared right now.ā
Heeseung froze the moment he saw your tears, his entire body going rigid.
The anger drained from him in an instant-replaced by something far more visceral, something that made his chest tighten
painfully.
His hands dropped to his sides as he exhaled sharply through clenched teeth, like the fight was being punched out of him at once.
He lookedā¦guilty now.
"Shit." he muttered under his breath before running a hand over his face, "I'm not yelling anymore."
He stayed quiet for a long moment, his jaw working as he fought to keep his own damn emotions in check.
The silence between you was thick with everything unspoken-anger, hurt, fear. But the way your voice had cracked on that last word made something in him cave.
Slowly, deliberatelyāhe reached over and took one of your hands from where it was clenched into fists on your lap. His grip was firm but not tight, grounding.
āIām not going to yell, Iām sorry.ā he says softly, āIām not going anywhere.ā
He exhaled sharply through his nose, the frustration and anger still simmering in his chest-but your quiet plea made him pause.
He wanted to yell, damn it. He needed you to understand how much he'd been hurting too.
"I'm not yelling," he muttered again gruffly-though the way he bit out each word was soft. "But I'm not just gonna sit here and pretend like this didn't fucking destroy me."
A pause as he swallowed hard, forcing himself to lower his voice further when he added, "You don't get to be scared of losing me when you're the one who pushed first."
You look at your hands together, āI donāt know how to do this, Hee.ā You confess, āIām going to mess up again, Iāve messed up, so I donātā¦know how to do it,ā you bite out, āBut I know I want to be with you.ā
His grip on the steering wheel loosened slightly as he stared at youāreally looked at youāfor the first time since this whole damn mess started.
"You don't get to say that," he muttered, but there was no real bite left in his words now. Just exhaustion.
A pause as he exhaled sharply, "But...if you really want this? Then we figure it out. Together."
āYou mean everything to me,ā you say. The tears never stopped.
At that quiet declaration, He felt his heart twist and some of the anger left draining from him ever further.
But he wanted you to be sure. He wasnāt going to accept this all sincerely and then watch you push him away again once your friends are in the room.
āLike hell I mean everything to you, after the shitāā He starts but you cut him off before he could even continue.
āI know I acted like shit recently, heck, maybe even months now. But before that?ā You look into his eyes, āAll the years before? When we were kids and the grandmas in the neighborhood always predicted weād get married? Isnāt that obvious, you jerk?ā If you werenāt then, now you are full on sobbing.
Heeseung felt something in his chest ache at those memories. Those years you spent growing up together. The elderly neighbors who'd always tease about how cute you were together, how sure they were that you'd end up getting married down the line.
Those damn memories were playing on repeat in his mind, and it only made him feel all more frustrated.
He bit back a scoff, shaking his head slightly as the words left him in a low mutter. "You still pushed me away for months, idiot."
āWell Iām a little stupid, sorry!ā
He couldn't help but huff out a dry, humorless laugh.
Your blunt confession, just blurting out that you were sorry and stupid... it was so damn typical of you that he couldn't stay angry for much longer.
He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, shaking his head as he muttered, "You're more than a little stupid, you know that?" He smiles, and you sob harder.
He finally reaches out, taking both of your hands together now.
āStop crying, youāre not a kid anymore.ā He kisses your hands.
āIām trying. But it kept pouring out.ā You whine softly.
He felt his lips twitch at that whiny toneāso typical of you. Even in moments like this, you still manage to make him feel giddy.
He squeezed your hands tightly, āNo more crying, baby.ā
That was the last thing he says before guiding you to sit on his lap in the driverās seat, pulling you against his chest.
You break again, like the comfort finally reaches you from the anxiety of this whole talk.
Heeseung let out a slow, tired breath as you practically collapsed into him-your sobs muffled against his chest.
The weight of your body against his, the way you clung to him like he was some damn lifeline...it made something in his heart twist painfully.
āYouāre okay,ā He kisses your temple. āIām here, I got you.ā
One of his hands tangles in your hair, playing with the strands as he feels you calm down.
He could feel a lot of things at once. The rise and fall of your chest against his, the press of your legs against his, the way you gripped his shirt tighter in your fists...it was maddening.
āI love you.ā You mutter, lips pressing against his chest as you feel his beating heart.
He smiles, hearing you say that felt so goodāespecially after years doubting everything between you two.
He took a shaky breath, his arms tightening around you even as he muttered,
"I love you too, idiot."
āThatās not what you call me.ā
He let out a low, amused huff at thatā your sniffly protest was so adorable it made his chest ache. He pulled away slightly to cup your face in his hands, wiping away the lingering tears with rough thumbs.
āI love you, baby.ā He smiles.
When he sees you cry again, he laughs and tuck your face into the crook of his neck-letting you soak his shirt with those damn tears.
āWhat am I going to do with you?ā He chuckles in your hair.
Heeseung let you cry against him for God knows how long, just running his fingers through your hair and holding you close.
He'd always been a quiet and relatively patient person, but damn it if it didn't take everything in him to keep from falling to pieces at the feeling of you crying in his arms.
Eventually, though, he knew this needed to stop. He'd been putting off the hard conversation for far too long. So he pulled your face out of his neck, forcing you to look up at him with a gruff "Hey, look at me.ā
Staring down at you for a long moment, he takes in your beautiful face despite the tears.
Your eyes were red and puffy, your cheeks flushed and wet. You looked so damn vulnerable, and it made his chest ache in a way that was almost too much to handle.
But he had to be the one to push through it this time. He knew you needed him to be the stronger one right now.
āI need you to listen and answer okay? Truthfully.ā
Heeseung let go of your face, his hands dropping to your hips now, holding you tightly in place on his lap.
He didn't want you to look away-didn't want to lose your focus for even a second. He kept his gaze locked with yours, his expression unwaveringly serious.
The way you were looking back at him? So damn vulnerable and open, make his heart hurt like hell.
āWhyād you push me away, baby?ā He asks, this time he wants a clear answer from you.
No more Itās because Iām stupid bullshit.
āBecauseā¦ā You look at him, āItās too much.ā You pat your heart, āRight here. And I have this nagging voice that if I am beside you any more without letting it out, the wrong words are gonna come out." You wince.
"And then, I saw you kissing that girl."
"It was my fault of course, but...still hurt." You chuckle.
Heeseung listened in silence as the words spilled out of you. He still had you sitting in his lap, still holding onto you with a tight, almost possessive grip.
The sound of your voice was shaky, the confession making the ache in his chest intensify even more.
And then you had to go and bring up that innocent girl he used to numb whatever you two had going on?
He swallowed hard, clenching his jaw for a moment before replying, "That was nothing. You know that."
āStill, Hee.ā
Heeseung exhaled sharply through his nose, "It was nothing," he repeated firmly, gripping your hips tighter as he stared at you with a hard expression.
āI kissed her because I was pissed off, I was confused as hell after the way we left things. I didnāt know where we stand, even if I was confident I loved you, It was still confusing.ā
āYou were hurt.ā
He shakes his head. āI was, but I still acted like an asshole about it. I want you. Only you, but I still kissed her.ā
A pause as he looked away briefly, clearly struggling with himself for a second before turning back to you with sharp eyes.
"But I don't want us to keep doing this shitāavoiding each other and pushing one another away just because we're scared of what might happen if things go wrong."
He brings his hand to cup your cheek as you lean in.
āWeāre better than this, baby. Weāre adults. We need to communicate, or none of this is ever going to work. You hear me?ā
You give him soft nod. He searched for any hint of hesitation, and when he sees one? He let out a deep sigh.
āGood girl.ā He smiles, āWeāre going to tell each other everything from now on. No more pushing, no more running.ā
āI want to be exclusive.ā You say, out of nowhere. Thinking it was the best time to clarify.
He raised his eyebrows at that, āYeah? Want me to be your boyfriend, princess? Say it again.ā
You felt your cheeks heat up. āYou heard me, Iām gonna take it backāā
āNope. Youāre so not.ā He laughs. "Not when I've been waiting to hear those damn words from you since we were goddamn ten years old, baby."
Huh?
Those words made you snap. You grab his face, and crush your lips together.
There was only a second of hesitation from him before he was kissing you back, his hand on your hip pulling you even closer as his lips crashed against yours.
There was something almost desperate to it, the months of hurt and longing and pent up emotions from the past week suddenly catching up to him now.
He kissed you hungrily, almost roughly, until finally pulling back slightly-gasping for air with your foreheads pressed together. His voice came out barely above a whisper:
"You're mine, got it?"
āAnd you?ā
āAll yours.ā He smile and leaned down to kiss you again, his lips moving roughly against yours. This time a low, possessive sound left his chest-his tongue darting out to push past your lips with an almost feral need. He was claiming your mouth with his own, dominating without question.
When you both finally pull away, his breathing was labored, the hand on your face dropping to your hip once more in a tight grip.
He sees your expression, so honest and exhausted. But full, so full of love. Your eyes a bit hazy and dazed, like he can feel the tiredness all over you.
āLong day, yeah?ā
You nod, and he chuckles. āLetās get you inside.ā
Heeseung kept a tight, protective grip on you as you got out of the car, his arm wrapping around your waist to steady you.
He could tell you were barely staying standing, and he was determined to get you inside and taken care of as quickly as possible.
Without another word, he closed the door and started leading you towards your complex, his eyes scanning the surroundings around you for any potential dangers.
Despite his usual nonchalant demeanor, there was a subtle protectiveness in the way he held you close to himāa determined edge to his expression.
The elevator ride up was short-lived, and soon enough they were stepping through the doors into your apartment.
He kept a steadying hand on your waist as you walked inside, guiding you towards your room.
Heeseung led you straight to your bed, carefully helping you sit down on the edge of it. His eyes roamed over you, taking in your exhausted state with a mixture of concern and affection.
The urge to get you comfortable and taken care of was practically overwhelming.
He gently tugged on your arm, his voice soft and gruff. "Lay down."
You obeyed, slowly laying back on the bed.
Something about the way you looked right now was so vulnerable, so damn soft, it was almost making his head spin.
But he pushed past the emotions swirling in his chest, determined to get you cared for first.
He knelt at the edge of the bed, his eyes scanning your face with a mix of concern and tenderness.
"I'll be right back, okay?Just gonna get something."
He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before reluctantly letting go. Getting up, he moved across the room, rummaging through your drawers until he found some comfortable clothes for you.
He quickly grabbed a tank top and hoodie, along with some sweatpants, before making his way back over to the bed.
Kneeling beside the bed again, he looked down at you. "Sit up for a second."
He waited until you pushed yourself up into a sitting position, and then he started helping you out of your clothes.
His touch was gentle as he pulled your top off, his eyes roaming over your skin almost reverently.
He could see the weariness in your movements, and he worked quickly, but his fingers lingered against your skin with a tender touch. Once you were wearing the tank top, he offered you the hoodie next. He helped you into the hoodie, watching as the fabric swallowed you up.
The way you looked nowāwearing his hoodie and looking so damn tiredāwas somehow unbearably endearing and it only made the protectiveness in his chest intensify.
But he kept his focus, helping you slide out of your pants and into the sweatpants next.
Throughout the entire process, his touch was careful and gentle, his eyes lingering on each piece of skin he exposed.
Once you were changed into the comfortable clothes, he helped you lay back down on the bed.
He pulled the covers up over your body, making sure you were properly tucked in and cozy. His eyes scanned your face for a moment, taking in how exhausted you looked once again.
He reached up and gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his voice low and gruff.
"Go to sleep, okay? You're dead on your feet, baby."
You replied with a soft pat on the space beside you on the bed.
Heeseung couldn't help the small smile that pulled at his lips as you patted the space beside you, the wordless request obvious.
He knew you were asking him to stay. And damn it, if that wasn't one of his favorite things in the world.
He didn't hesitate, carefully climbing onto the bed next to you. His arm immediately went around your waist, pulling you closer until you were tucked against him.
He settled behind you, adjusting your bodies until you were cuddled against him, your back pressed against his chest.
He could feel the exhaustion coming off you in waves, and the feeling filled his chest with a mix of affection and concern.
He tightened his arm around your waist, pulling you even closer, almost possessively. He nuzzled his face into your hair, inhaling the familiar scent.
His voice was quiet and gruff as he spoke, almost a whisper next to your ear. "Go to sleep, baby. I'll stay with you."
He continued to hold you close, his body molded against yours. He could feel the way your tired body relaxed into his embrace, the way you automatically shifted closer against him.
His hand on your waist began tracing slow, idle circles against your side, hoping the gentle touch would soothe you even more.
āI love you,ā was the last thing you hear before drifting off to sleep.
Morning settles softly over the room, pale light slipping through the curtains and stretching across the bed where Heeseung wakes first, eyes blinking open slowly as the quiet replaces last nightās noise.
For a moment, he doesnāt moveājust lies there, one arm still draped loosely around you, your head tucked against his shoulder, hair slightly undone from sleep.
Thereās a faint crease on your cheek from the pillow, your breathing even, steady, like none of the tension from before followed you into the morning.
He shifts just enough to look at you properly, gaze lingering in a way heād never admit out loud, thumb brushing absentmindedly against your arm before he exhales softly, like heās trying not to disturb something fragile.
He feels you stir awake slowly, and register the warmth between the both of you.
Your lashes flutter open, adjusting to the soft morning light spilling through the curtains, and for a second you donāt move, still caught somewhere between sleep and awareness.
Then you realize where you areāhow close you areāand your fingers instinctively curl slightly against his shirt.
āHi,ā he mutters, his smile soft and still heavy with sleep.
Up close, itās differentāquieter than anything he ever gives you when heās fully awake. His eyes are half-lidded, hair slightly tousled, and thereās something unguarded in the way he looks at you, like he hasnāt had the chance to put his walls back up yet.
His thumb brushes faintly against your arm again, slow, absent, like heās still halfway dreaming.
āYouāre up early,ā you murmur, voice still rough as you shift slightly against him, but not enough to pull away.
Heeseung lets out a quiet hum, the corner of his lips lifting just a little more.
āCould say the same about you.ā
Neither of you moves after that.
The morning stretches between you, calm and fragile, like if either of you says the wrong thing, itāll snap back into what you usually are.
āYou should sleep more, you were so tired last night,ā he suggests, his hand moves to your hip for a grounding grip.
āYou should sleep moreāyou were so tired last night,ā he murmurs, voice still low, still soft in that way he never lets it be during the day.
His hand slides from your arm to your hip, settling there like it belongs, fingers pressing lightlyājust enough to keep you from drifting too far away.
The touch is grounding.
Steady.
You let out a small breath, barely noticeable, your body sinking a little more into the mattress despite yourself.
āIām okay,ā you mumble, though your voice betrays how heavy sleep still feels in your limbs.
Lee Heeseung huffs quietly, almost amused, his thumb brushing once against your side.
āDoesnāt sound like it.ā
You shift slightly, your hand coming up to rest against his chest, feeling the slow, even rhythm beneath your palm.
For a second, neither of you says anything, the silence filled only by quiet breathing and the soft rustle of sheets.
Suddenly, he shifts closer, his head dipping into the crook of your neck, breath warm against your skin. His lips follow a moment laterāslow, lingering, open-mouthed presses that make you inhale sharply, your fingers tightening slightly against his shirt.
Itās unhurried.
Sleepy, almost.
Like heās not fully thinkingājust acting on instinct, on familiarity.
His hand at your hip steadies you when you shift, thumb pressing lightly as he continues, each kiss softer than the last but no less intentional.
The quiet of the morning wraps around you both, broken only by the faint rustle of sheets and your uneven breathing.
You tilt your head just a little, giving him space without realizing it, and he exhales softly against your skin, like he notices.
You hum, while he continues mouthing at your collarbone.
āHee, itāsāā you glance at the clock on the nightstand, squinting slightly, ā9 in the morning,ā you sigh.
He doesnāt pull away.
If anything, Heeseung just exhales softly against your neck, lips still brushing your skin in slow, unhurried presses, like the time doesnāt matter.
āMm,ā he hums, voice muffled.
His hand on your hip tightens just slightly when you shift, keeping you right where you are.
āI missed you, baby.ā He nuzzle his nose against your jaw, trying to coax you into giving in.
Sly fox.
āIām right here.ā You smile.
āBut I want to kiss you all over, make you feel good.ā He murmur again, voice turning slightly whiny.
You let out a small laugh, which died as soon as he moves his hand to cup your clothed core.
āYouāll let me, right? Youāll let me love this sweet body of yours?ā
He looks into your eyes, asking for permission.
āBut breakfastā¦ā
āItās Saturday, baby. We can have breakfast at 2PM.ā He whines.
You grin, before nodding.
Heeseung wasted no time in claiming the skin of your neck, his mouth and tongue working at your pulse point, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down the column of your throat once again.
The entire time, his hands roamed your body, pushing up the bottom of your hoodie and tanktop and slipping underneath to touch your overheated skin.
He practically groaned at the feeling of you, hot and pliant underneath himāhe's been dying to touch you like this for days now.
His hands were rough as they groped your breasts, his fingers pinching and rolling the hardened peaks between them. His mouth left wet trails along your collarbone before latching onto one nippleāsucking hard through the fabric of your top.
"Fuck," he groaned against you, his hips grinding down instinctively, "You always taste so damn good."
A sharp nip to punctuate itābecause he knew you liked that little sting.
You help him take off your clothes, hands trembling slightly.
Heeseung lifted his head at the sudden motion, staring at you hungrily as he watched you lift your shirt up.
"Good girl."he said, his eyes dark with intensity as he watched your movements."That's it. Show me."
His breath hitched as he took in the sight of youābare, flushed, and already so damn needy for him. His gaze raked over your exposed skin like a starving man at a feast.
āBeautiful, my woman.ā
Without another second of hesitation, his mouth descended on one peaked nippleāsucking hard while his fingers pinched the other between rough fingertips.
Heeseung's tongue flicked against the hardened peak as he sucked and swirled it around in his mouth. It wasn't enough, though. He nipped and lapped at your skināhis hand moving from your chest to your inner thigh.ā
It was almost as if he was intent on memorizing every inch of your body with his touch, leaving no area unmarked by his lips and teeth.
āMm, I could stay like this forever," he murmured, his words partially muffled against your skin.
His hand skimmed up your thigh, pushing up the hem of your pants. He pushed them down just far enough to bare your legs to his sight, and his mouth left your breast to press kisses along the soft skin.
"Lift your hips."
The order was said in a rough, lust-filled tone, and he didn't give you even a second to hesitate before hooking a finger into the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down your legs.
His eyes darkened as he took in the sight of you, now fully exposed before.
Heeseung practically growled as he took in the sight of youābare, exposed, and so damn perfect.
His fingers dug into your hips for a second before sliding lower to grip the backs of your thighs, yanking you closer to him.
"You're already wet for me? I'm not holding back, baby.ā
His hands were everywhere, touching you with a mixture of impatience and desperation. His mouth latched onto the soft skin of your neck, sucking and biting down on your pulse until he left a blossoming mark behind.
He wanted you, and he wanted you now.
"Can't wait to be inside of you," Heeseung hissed against your skin. āCanāt wait to love you until Iām milked dry.ā
āWatch me touch myself first.ā
Heeseung had to hold back a groan at your suggestion.
While his main goal right now was to be inside of you, the thought of watching you touch yourself right in front of him sounded almost sinful.
During your hookups, Heeseung was the one that take the lead but once in a while, you would gibe suggestions like these.
To try and experiment with each other, of course.
"Yeah? You wanna put on a show?" he teased, an eyebrow raised as he pulled away slightly to look at you. He already sounded breathless just from the thought of itāhe was practically salivating for the sight.
Heeseung's expression darkened as he watched you, his eyes glued to the sight of your hands slowly moving over yourself.
Your smaller fingers rubbing your bundle of nerves, still sensitive after waking up.
He couldn't tear his gaze away for a second, as if he was a starving man staring at his prey. His own hands flexed against your thighs, pressing more firmly into the soft skin as he fought the urge to take over and touch you himself.
This was your show right nowānot his. He had to be patient.
"So pretty," he murmured hoarsely, "All for me to watch." His eyes darkened even further. That tone of your voice, the way you looked right now... God, if you weren't careful, he was going to lose all self-control and take over again.
āHeeā¦Touch yourself too..ā
He swallowed thickly, the sound almost audible to your ears. His breathing was already shaky, his voice strained as he replied.
"Yeah? You want me to touch myself for you, baby?ā Heeseung's breath hitched as he watched you nod, his hands immediately moving to the waistband of his jeans.
His fingers fumbled slightly in his hasteāhe wasn't used to being this desperate for something so simple.
"You're lucky I'm weak for you."
With one rough yank, he pulled down just enough fabric to free himselfāalready hard and aching from watching you. His grip tightened around the base as a groan escaped him at the first touch.
He was going to die just watching you.
His chest was rising and falling heavily, and he could feel his self-control hanging on by a mere thread at this point.
He wanted to touch you, to be the one to touch youābut the sight of you touching yourself like this just for him was almost torturous.
"Mmm, look at me, baby." he commanded hoarsely."Want you to keep your eyes open while you do that for me."
Heeseung's grip on himself tightened painfully as he watched you slip your fingers inside, his breath hitching in response to the wet sound.
His eyes were practically glued to where you touched yourselfāhis entire body tensed with need.
"Fuck, that's it," he gritted out between clenched teeth, "Keep going just like that."
A rough thrust of his own hand matched yours instinctivelyāmimicking the rhythm you set for him.
You whine with need when you feel your own fingers arenāt enough to reach the places that can make you see stars.
Heeseung's hips jerked forward involuntarily, a strangled groan tearing from his throat as he watched you.
His knuckles whitened where they gripped himself-too close to the edge already just from watching you.
"Y/N," he warned lowly, "You keep making those sounds and I'm not gonna last." A bead of sweat rolled down his temple as he fought for control-his entire body coiled tight with desperation.
His head was swimming; the air felt like it was crackling with electricity. Every nerve was on fire, desperate for release.
He needed you, but there was something about watching you like thisāso open, so vulnerable, so perfectāthat he couldn't stop himself from prolonging his suffering.
"Sweetheart, I need to touch you..." he gasped out, a strangled plea on his lips. "Please..."
The moment you removed your fingers, giving him permission, he moved forward with an almost feral speed to grab you by the hips and pull you closer-settling himself right between your spread legs.
"You have no idea how much I ache for you," he muttered hoarsely, his voice rough with need. "I need you so much."
Heeseung's mouth crashed against yours before you could respond, his lips moving hungrily over yours.
There was no tenderness, only a raw, desperate need as he claimed your mouth completely. His hands were everywhere, touching you with a rough familiarity that spoke of his desperate need to feel every part of you all at once.
His breath came out in a sharp, ragged exhale as he pressed the thick head of his cock against your entrance-teasing, torturing both of you with the slow drag.
His entire body was trembling from how hard it was for him to not just shove inside right then and there.
āReady, baby?ā
And when you finally nod, he slides in with zero resistance, given how soaked you are.
A guttural groan tearing from his throat as he buried himself to the hilt, both of you immediately losing your sleepy haze.
"Fuck-" he choked out, forehead dropping to yours, "You feel so damn good."
A ragged breath before he started moving
-deep, punishing rolls of his hips that left no room for gentleness.
āNgh, fuckāHee!ā
Heeseung's entire body locked up at the sound of your voice, his hips stuttering to a halt for a second. The way you clenched around him-tight, wet, perfect-had his vision whiting out for half a second.
"Fucking hell," he rasped against your neck, "You're trying to kill me."
A rough grind of his pelvis pressed even deeper as he fought not to lose it right then and there.
He needed you so badly right now. More than he'd ever needed anyoneāand he never thought he could possibly be this addicted to someone, but here he was.
Addicted to you, his love.
Completely and utterly addicted to the feel of your skin against his, the sounds you made as he moved inside you, the way you looked at him like he was the center of your entire world.
āAll this, mine, right?ā He murmurs in between moans. āNo one else to touch, to love, to have.ā
He stops for a second, pulling back making you whine due to the sudden absence.
āShh, baby, I knowāI know.ā He cooed, grabbing a pillow to move it under you, and then entering you again.
The angle change made the both of you breathless. He felt even deeper than what you thought was possible.
āSo goodāyouāre so good for me.ā
You felt the tight knot forming, and started clenching harder around himāmaking him jolt forward.
āShitābaby, I know, Iāll get you there, yeah?ā He kisses your temple.
He speeds up his thrusts, his tip hitting hard against your cervix.
He pulled you closer, his lips trailing up your neck to your ear, his breathing ragged against your skin.
āCome with me, baby.ā He murmur, āThatās my girl.ā He smiles when he feels you arch and tremble as your climax ran through you.
A ragged, guttural groan tore from his throat as he buried himself impossibly deeper-his entire body shuddering with release. His grip on you was ironclad, like he was afraid you'd vanish the second he let go.
"Fuck-yes," he panted against your sweat-slicked skin, "Mine. Only mine."
A few more rough thrusts before his hips stilled completely-spent and wrecked in the best way possible.
He dropped on top of you, making sure not to crush you with his weight as the both of you catch your breaths.
He got up, looking at you disheveled state. His hand ran through the sweaty hair sticking to your face, taking a good look at his girlfriend.
āHow can it feel even better when weāre finally together now?ā
IN WHICH a girl who likes her personal space catches the eye of a boy who also happens to like her personal space.
ARCHIVE lee heeseung x fem!reader highschool!au basketballplayer!heeseung loner!reader golden retriever x black cat opposites attract strangers to lovers angst fluff y/n has some set features btw!
The campus rumors said the ice girls were more than just a cheer squadāthey were the hockey teamās private tradition. Youād always dismissed the gangbang myth as just locker room bravado until you make the team and find out itās very, very real.
minors do not interact
pairing āā hyung line x afab reader
word count āā 12k
content tags/warnings āā hockey team dynamic, ice girls are the cheerleaders of the hockey team, social hierarchy, college dorm life, physical overstimulation, non-consensual caretaking (aftercare), exhaustion, manipulative power dynamics, non-con/dub-con, choking/breath play (implied), rough handling, marking/bruising, objectification, slut shaming, loss of consciousness, secret society/fraternity like behavior, and heavy psychological tension. not a love story!
neneās note āā this ended up being longer than i had expected that why it took a minute before i posted it. shoutout to @sunishake for giving me the green light to finally finish editing it and post! as you know i loveeeee feedback! enjoyyyy <333 drop a š if you loveeee zoya cause i do!
nsfw tags under the cut
unprotected sex, gangbang, squirting, fingering, oral (f&m receiving), marathon sex (kinda), creampie, double vaginal penetration, spitting, face/throat fucking, let me know if i missed any.
The September air was still thick with the residual heat of summer but the breeze cutting through the quad was already carrying the first sharp hint of the ice that would soon define your semester. Two weeks into freshman year and the campus already felt smaller than the brochures had promised. In all honesty you felt suffocated by the weight of a legacy neither you nor Zoya could escape.
Zoya walked beside you, constantly twisting her fingers in the strap of her bag. "I haven't slept in like three days," she admitted in a strained voice. "Tryouts are next week and I swear I can feel my heart in my throat every time I see a pair of skates."
"Zoya, breathe," you said. "You've been training for this since we were six. You're more prepared than anyone else in that rink. Stop stressing."
Your friendship with Zoya was a constant bond forged long before you understood what a legacy even meant. Your mothers had met in the very halls of this university, dressed in the same blue and white uniforms you were now expected to fill. You had spent your childhood in the back of dance studios and cold arena bleachers, two shadows following the footsteps of women who had once been part of the university's most celebrated icons.
"I don't know how you're so calm," she glanced at you. "If I don't make the cut, my mom might actually disown me. Your mom isn't exactly going to be thrilled if you aren't on that roster, either."
You shrugged, feeling like the weight of the expectation had just become a dull ache you'd simply learned to live with. "I'm sure she'll manage. Besides, it's just a team. There are more important things than whether or not we look good in sequins and skates."
"Easy for you to say," she muttered as you both found a stone table in the quad, sitting next to each other while the noise of the campus humming around you. "They only take five girls each year. Five."
"Because they have to maintain the twenty girl balance, Zoy," you countered, squinting against the sun. "Five seniors graduated so they need five new freshman and you can only try out in your first year. It's simple math, not a conspiracy. It's no biggie."
Zoya went quiet then, her expression shifting from nervous to something more focused. She leaned into your space and dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper that forced you to pay attention.
"Have you heard the gist lately? In the dorms?" she asked. "It's not just about who's the best skater anymore. Everyone is talking about the tradition. The real one."
You felt an internal groan. "That rumor? Again?"
"They say the hockey team picks one girl from the five new recruits," she said with her eyes wide and dead serious. "One girl who has to give it up at the tryouts welcome party. That it's a requirement. A gangbang for the guys who run the rink."
You rolled your eyes and let a sharp, dismissive sound escape your throat. "Zoya, please. That is the most tired, misogynistic urban legend on this campus. It's locker room bullshit meant to scare us or make the guys feel like they have more power than they actually do. It's just a rumor. Stop letting it get in your head."
"Like for fucks sake. Am I meant to be excited at the thought of a bunch of guys fucking me?"
But Zoya didn't back down, if anything she just leaned into closer, darting her eyes around as if the very trees were wired. "I'm serious! It's not just some ghost story, I'm telling you. My roommate's cousin's TA has a niece who was the girl they picked last year."
You stopped mid sip of your drink and lowered it to look at her with mocking disappointment. You let the silence hang for a beat too long just so she could sit with what she just said, then you started repeating her words back to her, dripping your voice with deliberate sarcasm.
"So...let me get this straight," you began ticking the points off on your fingers. "Your roommate's...cousin's...TA's...niece?" You asked her and watched her resolve start to crumble at the corners of her mouth as the absurdity of the so called source finally hit the air.
"When you put it like that, it soundsā"
"It sounds like a game of telephone or Chinese whisper played by people who have spent way too much time inhaling zamboni fumes," you finished for her.
She let out a frustrated whine while reaching to grab your shoulders. "Shut up! You're so mean!" she laughed and started to shake you back and forth. Her grip was firm as she swung your body in rhythm with her protests. "Take me seriously! I'm trying to prepare us for potentially having to take dick!"
The physical drama of it was too much to resist, you really tried to keep your face stoic but the sight of Zoya looking so genuinely panicked over a fourth hand story about a TA's niece broke you. A bubble of laughter escaped and soon you were both giggling like the kids you used to be.
The week of tryouts had been a blur of synthetic light and the rhythmic scrape of steel on ice. For Zoya, it was a slow motion descent into madness, she was a whirlwind of nervous energy in the locker room, retying her laces until her fingertips were raw and changing her skates three separate times because she convinced herself the blades werenāt right. You had watched her from the bench, already laced up and ready, trying to offer a calm anchor in her storm of superstition.
When your turn finally came, you didn't really overthink it. You moved through the routines you'd practiced since you were tall enough to reach the rink boards, you remembered all the crossovers, the synchronized lunges, the power pulls. It was muscle memory at this point or a birthright clicking into place. To you, it wasn't a performanceāit was more of another day at the office.
Now, a week later, the tension had migrated from the ice to the stifling atmosphere of Zoya's dorm room. You were sitting criss cross on her bed while your phones sat like two ticking time bombs on the mattress between you.
"I think I'm going to throw up," Zoya whispered, staring at the dark screens. "If I don't see an email in the next sixty seconds, I'm dropping out of college and moving to a farm."
"You hate dirt, Zoy. You'd last barely an hour," you muttered, trying to be calm even though your own pulse was beginning to thrum against your ribs.
Suddenly, both screens lit up simultaneously and two identical notifications from the university athletics department banner appeared.
Zoya shrieked, launching herself off the bed as if she'd been electrocuted. She paced the small rug with her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. Okay, don't open it yet. We do this together."
You picked up your phone, your hands shaking but still steadier than hers and stood to meet her in the center of the room. "On three?"
"On three," she breathed as her finger hovered over the screen.
"One."
"Two."
"Three!"
The light of the screens reflected in your eyes as you both scanned the text.
"We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for the 2026 Ice Girls roster..."
"WE GOT IN!" Zoya screamed, the words overlapping with your own as you read the confirmation out loud. She tackled you back onto the bed, you didn't even get through the second sentence before the room exploded. You hit the mattress with a thud as her weight pinned you down, her face buried in your shoulder as she vibrated with pure, unadulterated adrenaline.
"We did it! We actually did it!" she shrieked into your ear, her joy was infectious enough to finally break through your cool exterior and you couldn't help it. It was like the tension of the last week finally evaporated into a fit of breathless giggles. You lay there on the bed, tangled in limbs and phones, laughing up at the ceiling while Zoya squeezed the life out of you. And for that one moment, the weight of your mother's expectations and the dark whispers of campus rumors felt miles awayāeclipsed by the simple reality that you were officially in.
The calm excitement of the afternoon was short lived though, quickly replaced by hurricane Zoya in a state of social crisis. Your dorm room looked like a textile factory had exploded, there were clothes draped over your desk lamp and jeans strewn across your bed as she dove head first into your closet for the third time in twenty minutes. "The welcome party isn't just a party, Y/N," she muffled from behind a row of your hangers, her voice strained with the familiar, high pitched anxiety that always made you want to both hug her and laugh at her. "It's like a hierarchy. The hockey team is going to be there and the resident ice girls will be judging our every move. We can't just show up looking like we're headed to a late night study session in the library!"
You laid there on your bed, watching her with an amused tilt of your head. Zoya was always a perpetual mess of nerves, she was a beautiful disaster but you loved her to death for it. Her intensity was the only thing that could actually make you feel the weight of whatever was ahead.
"Have you actually seen the hockey team in person? Like up close?" she continued, finally surfacing with a grunt of frustration. "Theyāre not a human, theyāre like filtered ai images come to life. And don't even get me started on Heeseungāthe captain. If I have to stand next to him, I refuse to do it in a crewneck sweatshirt." She tossed one of your favorite oversized hoodies onto the floor with a look of annoyance. "Seriously? You have nothing sexy in here. It's all...functional."
"I was just going to go in what I have on now," you said, gesturing to your simple jeans and tee.
Zoya let out a gasp of such genuine horror you thought she'd actually been wounded. "No way, Y/N! You are not going to embarrass us! This is our debut!"
Before you could protest, she lunged for the overstuffed duffle bag she'd lugged over all the way from her own dorm and with a dramatic flourish, she hoisted it over both your heads and dumped the entire contents onto your bed. A mountain of lace, silk and leather tumbled out in a heap.
"Pick," she commanded, pointing at the pile with a manic twitch in her eye. "Pick right now or so help me God, I will pick for you and I promise you it will involve something tiny."
Giving in to the inevitable, you sighed and reached blindly into the middle of the mountain. Your fingers snagged onto the strap of a dress, so you pulled it outāa short, form fitting black dress with delicate straps and a neckline that was definitely lower than anything you owned.
Zoya's eyes went wide and her frantic energy instantly shifted into a predatory sort of pride. "Ooh...okay, okay! That one is hot," she purred, clapping her hands together. "The I don't care but I look incredible look. It's perfect. Go. Put it on. Eeek! I canāt wait, Y/N!"
Youāre not surprised the party ends up being a far cry from the chaotic, floor shaking rages you'd been attending in the freshman dorms. This was something different, it was controlled and suffocatingly exclusive.
You let your eyes scan the room as you hoisted yourself up onto the kitchen island, slowly realizing the rumors about the inner circle weren't exaggerated. There were exactly twenty two hockey players and the twenty ice girls, including the five of you who had just been initiated. The air felt heavy with a specific kind of social politics you weren't sure you wanted to play. Zoya, however, was of course a natural and about twenty minutes ago, a guy with a sharp jawline and an observant gaze called Jungwon had detached himself from a group of upperclassmen and navigated the crowded living room with a focused sort of grace, landing right in front of Zoya.
"Was it a requirement for this yearās ice girls to be extra gorgeous?" he'd asked her with a voice smooth enough to make Zoya's usual nervous energy vanish into a flattered blush. He looked into her cup before speaking again, "Want to help me find something that isn't cheap beer?"
Zoya had glanced back at you, her eyes wide with a silent 'Is this okay?' question. You'd given her a small, reassuring nod, the green light she needed to finally enjoy the night she'd spent weeks stressing over.
Now, you were alone sat on the island while the hem of Zoya's dress rode up slightly as you adjusted your seat. The fabric was sleek and undeniably hot, as she'd put it but it didn't stop you from feeling like an outsider looking in.
Through the pulse of the music and the low hum of athletic egos clashing, your mind drifted toward your dorm. You could almost feel the weight of your oversized weighted duvet and the silence of your room. You were halfway through the mental calculation of how long you had to stay before an early morning excuse became socially acceptable, when the stool next to your legs slid back and the scent of expensive cologne hit you before he even spoke.
"You look remarkably bored for someone who just clawed their way onto the most exclusive team on campus," his voice came, all deep and smooth, holding a hint of a challenge.
You looked up and met a pair of intense eyes. He was striking with sharp angles and cool composure. Normally, you might have given a dry retort about the music volume but you caught sight of Zoya across the room, laughing at something Jungwon said. You knew her mentals would never recover if you started your tenure by being rude to one of the hockey gods.
"Iām just a bit tired," you said and forced your lips into a polite smile. "It's been a long week of skating."
He tilted his head and studied you a little as if he were reading a play. "Fair enough. I'm Jongseong but everyone just calls me Jay."
"Nice to meet you, Jay. Iām Y/N" you replied. You were just about to settle into a rhythm of light banter when a second presence came crashing into your peripheral vision.
"And who is this cutie?"
The newcomer leaned against his palm with his elbow the marble counter, he was radiating a completely different energy from Jay, so warm and dangerously charming. He looked like the kind of guy that had never had a bad day in his life.
Jay didn't even glance at him, his dark eyes somehow stayed locked on yours and his voice dropped an octave as he answered for you. "Y/N," he said your name and made it sound like a claim and not like an introduction.
The new guy grinned, making his eyes crinkle at the corners. "Well, Y/N, I'm Jake. Huge congratulations on making the ice girls. Thatās a big deal."
You offered an amused huff. "Thanks. Though I'm surprised you even know I'm new. I figured we all looked the same to you guys in those practice uniforms."
Jake let out a short laugh and shifted closer until he had his head nearly in your thighs. "Oh please," he murmured, letting his gaze travel over your face with a boldness that made the back of your neck heat up. "I would've spotted you months ago if you were already around. You're far too stunning to go unnoticed on this campus."
Before you could respond to Jake's blatant flirting, a third figure cut through the conversation. He didn't look at you, well at least not at first. He directed all his attention entirely to Jake. "Heeseung is looking for you," the newcomer said a little bit like a warning. "And he's already pissed. You were supposed let the delivery driver with the drinks in and now heās goneā¦with the extra drinks."
Jake didn't look remotely intimidated, if anything he actually looked bored as he rolled his eyes and let his hair tickle your arm. "Heeseung gets pissed at everyone, Sunghoon. It's his default setting by now."
The name Heeseung had been floating around the dorms like a title of nobility for weeks but the way they spoke it made him sound like a force to be reckoned with. "Who exactly is Heeseung?" you cut in, managing to keep your voice steady despite the triple threat of hot guys surrounding you. "And should I be staying clear of him?"
That was the moment the new guy finally acknowledged you. His gaze drifted down and landed on you with a clinical kind of interest that felt like you were being scrutinized.
"He's our captain," Jake answered quickly, with a playful smirk returning to his lips. "And whether you stay clear of him or not isn't really up to you anymore, is it? You're an ice girl now."
"This is Sunghoon," Jake added, gesturing vaguely to the cold eyed newcomer.
Sunghoon didn't smile at you but the intensity of his stare softened just a fraction. "So, how does it feel? Being one of the chosen five?"
You opened your mouth to give a diplomatic, it's great response but your gaze snagged on a movement across the room, where Zoya was stood still with Jungwon distracted by the person he was talking to over her head. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly agape at the sight of you sat at the center of a triangle of hot guys.
She caught your eye and mouthed, "What the fuck?!" her expression was a blend of genuine horror and curios thrill.
You caught her eye and gave a subtle, helpless shrug, you didn't have an answer for her, damnāyou didn't even have an answer for yourself. Ten minutes ago you were thinking about your bed and now, youāre the center of gravity for some sexy strangers.
Just as Jay was trying to pull you back into the conversation with a question about your major or something, a voice came from nowhere. "Jake. Come on, man. I told you to let the drinks guy in." The voice was low and authoritative, lacking any of the playful warmth the others had shown.
Heeseung didn't even look like a student in the best way possible, he looked like the architect of the entire room. His presence was heavy like a physical weight that made the banter from a moment ago feel suddenly juvenile. He didn't even acknowledge you, his eyes were fixed entirely on Jake with a look of tired discipline.
"He left and now weāre low on drinks," Heeseung added but Jake didn't miss a beat and instead of shrinking, he finally just placed his whole head in your lap as he flashed a boyish grin at his captain.
"Can you blame me, cap?" Jake countered, the tone was light but his eyes were dancing with a hint of challenge. "I was just doing my job. Making our newest recruit feel welcome. You wouldn't want the ice girls thinking we arenāt hospitable, would you?" He spoke as if you were the ultimate get out of jail free card.
Heeseung's eyes finally shifted, they traveled slowly from your face down to where your hands were resting in Jake's hair, then finally up to your face again. His eyes weren't hungry like Jake's or intense like Jay's, they were just insanely observant, tracing your features quietly in a way that made your breath scatter.
He let out a long sigh and you could see the tension in his jaw flicker for just a second before he looked back at the three guys flanking you.
"Of course," He said. "I should have known. You three always did have a habit of gravitating toward the prettiest girl in the room."
He stepped closer and invaded the space the others had already carved out, letting his shadow fall over you. "The problem is," he said, shifting his eyes to lock onto yours with a finality that made the myth Zoya was going on about suddenly feel real, "they usually forget that the prettiest ones are the hardest to keep in line."
His eyes searched yours for a crack in your nonchalant exterior. "So," he murmured, "are you going to be a problem, doll? Hard to keep in line?"
The weight of the four of them was suffocating, it made you lose trust in your own voice, so you simply shook your head, a subtle movement that felt like signing a contract you hadn't even read.
A satisfied smirk pulled at Jay's lips so he let his shoulder brush yours. "In that case," he said, "we're moving to a more...private after party. Just us. You wanna come?"
He didn't phrase it like a question, to you it sounded like it was an invitation or a command. You hesitated and your mind flashed back to the quiet safety of your dorm but Jake was quick in sensing your retreat. He reached out and let his thumb graze the back of your hand where it rested on the marble now since he lifted his head from your lap.
"Come on," he coaxed with a honeyed voice. "The night's just getting started. You don't want to be the only recruit who tucked herself in just before the real fun began, do you?"
"I...I can't leave Zoya," you managed to glance over their tall frames toward the dance floor. "We came together. I canāt just leave her alone."
Heeseung didn't even bother looking over his shoulder, as if he already knew exactly where everyone in the room was positioned. "Zoyaās in safe hands, Jungwon is the sweetest. He'll look after her."
You followed his gaze to the center of the room where the lights caught Zoya, who clearly wasn't checking for you anymore. She had her back pressed firmly against Jungwon's chest, her head tilted back as his hands gripped her hips. She looked flushed and lost in the heat of the moment, completely oblivious to the fact that you were being cornered right now.
The rumors Zoya had whispered about at the stone table suddenly didn't feel so ridiculous anymore. Looking at her, then back at the four sets of eyes waiting for your answer, you realized you had to make a choice. But maybe it wasnāt even like that, maybe they were just being really good wing men for Jay, who was the first to approach you. And if youāre being honest you didnāt mind the either of flirting with him more in a more quiet location.
That line of reasoning was exactly how you ended up sat between Jay and Sunghoon in the backseat of a massive truck youāre suspecting Jake owns, seeing as heās the one driving with Heeseung in the passenger seat.
The fabric of Sunghoon's expensive jacket brushed against your left arm while Jay's solid frame pressed into your right, leaving you with nowhere to lean but forward.
The blue light of your phone screen felt blinding in the darkness of the car as you quickly typed out a message to Zoya.
You: I left with Jay. Didn't want to interrupt you and Jungwon. Text me when you're back?
You watched the read receipt appear instantly, trying to ignore how you conveniently left out the fact that you left with all four boys. A second later, a heart reaction popped up over the bubble, the girl didnāt even bother typing back, she was clearly occupied and it made you snort.
But before you could lock the screen, a large hand reached over and plucked the device from your fingers. Jay didn't even look at the screen as he pocketed it in his jacket with his gaze fixed on the side of your face. "Relax," he told you. "I promise you, Jungwon is a real gentleman. He'll make sure she gets back safe."
"He's right," Sunghoon added from your other side but when you looked at him, he was staring out the tinted window at the passing streetlights. "Jungwon is the best of us. No need to worry."
Jake caught your eye in the rearview mirror and flashed you his perfect white teeth, the engine roaring as he accelerated down the road.
The drive felt like it was happening in a different dimension, the hum of the engine was drowning out by the predatory focus of the men surrounding you.
Jay shifted his weight so his large frame crowded into your personal space until you were pinned against the leather seat and Sunghoon's solid side. "You have no idea how much I've been thinking about this since you walked into that kitchen," he said, "You're so fucking gorgeous, it's insane."
He moved closer, letting his nose brush yours and you could feel his warm breath on your lips. "I'm going to kiss you now. Is that okay?"
Your words had abandoned you, the sheer fervor of his gaze made you dizzy and all you could do was nod. He didn't wait to be told twice, crashing his lips onto yours in a kiss so hungry and demanding, it made a tiny whimper escape your throat, muffled by his lips as his tongue traced yours.
From the front, Heeseung's amused voice cut through the haze, he glanced back over his shoulder at the sight of Jay nearly on top of you, pushing you further into Sunghoon. "Control yourself, Jongseong," he said with no real bite to his words. "You're always so impatient. We aren't even off the main road yet."
Jay definitely wasnāt listening, deepening the kiss instead and letting his hand grip your waist. Thatās when you felt a sharp spark of electricity as a different hand began a slow trail up the hem of your dress, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin of your thigh.
Your head snapped to the left with wide eyes to meet Sunghoon's gaze, who wasn't looking out the window anymore, whose lips were now pulled into a pout. "And what about me?" he whispered, "Where's my kiss, Y/N?"
Caught between the two of them, you leaned over and pressed your lips to Sunghoon's in a softer kiss. The moment you did, Jay groaned into your ear and grabbed your waist to hoist your leg over his lap, forcing your legs apart in the cramped space and making your dress ride up dangerously high.
Jay's fingers danced along your inner thigh, inching upward until they hooked under the delicate edge of your lace panties. The sensation sent a jolt through you and as Sunghoon began to trail wet kisses down the column of your neck, your breath hitched in a jagged sob.
You were sure you would faint if they both kept going but the vehicle came to a halt and Jake's voice drifted back from the driver's seat, "We're hereeee."
Trying to get out the truck, your legs felt like water when your heels hit the gravel of the driveway, making you stumble.
"Woah, easy there," Sunghoon caught you and before you could find your balance, he moved with the strength of an athlete. In one swift motion, he hooked an arm around your waist and hoisted you upward, flipping you over his shoulder like you weighed less than a hockey stick.
That forced a whimper out of your lips and your hair cascaded toward the pavement while the hem of Zoya's dress rode up even further. Blood quickly rushed to your head, mixing with the lingering dizzy spell Jay had started in the backseat.
SMACK.
The sharp sound of his palm connecting with your rear echoed in the quiet night. "Shh," he shushed you with his hand lingering for a possessive second on the curve of your hip. You could hear the others following behind him as he carried you into the house. Jake let out a low laugh from somewhere behind you. "Careful with the cargo, Hoon," he teased but there was no real concern in his voice.
"She's fine," Jay countered, speaking for you and reaching up to trace a slow line down your exposed calf.
Heeseung led the way and punched a code into a glowing keypad of the door, the mechanical click of the lock sounding like a gavel hitting a sounding block. He stepped inside and held the door open, his eyes tracked your inverted form on Sunghoonās shoulder.
"Try not to make too much noise, doll. The neighbors think we're such studious boys."
Sunghoon dropped you carefully, setting you down on the couch and the first thing you registered was the interior of the house, it was even more imposing than the truckāall dark leather and the kind of minimalist luxury that felt cold until the four of them surrounded the couch where you sat. They stood in a semi circle, before Heeseung stepped forward with an expression so unreadable, it stripped away the playful banter of the car ride.
"Before we go any further, let's be clear," he started, speaking in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. "We're going to fuck you. All of us. If you don't want that, if you've changed your mind, say it now. We won't be mad and we won't make it weird. Jake will drive you back to your dorm and we'll go back to being normal hockey players and ice girl on Monday. No questions asked."
The rumors weren't just true, they were standing right in front of you, tall and extremely expectant.
But as you looked up at them you didn't feel fear Zoya had spoken of this very moment with. The adrenaline from the car ride was still singing in your veins, drowning out any hesitation.
Without a word, you reached up, hooking your fingers under the thin spaghetti straps of the dress. You watched their eyes track the movement as you slowly slid the fabric down, letting it pool around your waist until your breasts were fully exposed in the dim light of the apartment.
"Fuck yeah," Jake breathed, already reaching for the buckle of his belt. "I told you she was the right choice," he muttered.
Heeseung didn't have an outward reaction but the corner of his mouth ticked upward in a smirkāthe first sign of genuine approval you'd seen from him all night. "Good girl," he said but now his voice carried a heavy sexual weight.
It was as if they had been waiting all night to tear into you, Jake didn't wait for a second invitation, he dropped to his knees by your legs before burying his face against your chest. "Fuck, I love tits," he groaned, the sound muffled against your skin before his mouth latched onto one nipple. He sucked with a greedy pace that sent a lightning bolt of heat straight to your core, his tongue swirling over the sensitive peak until you were arching your back off the leather cushions.
Above you, Jay was already crowding back into your space, ready to continue what he started in the car. He gripped your jaw and tilted your head back for a bruising make out that had you gasping for air, his hands found your hair to keep you exactly where he wanted you.
While Jake and Jay claimed your upper body, Sunghoon moved with a surgical focus. He didn't say a word as he reached down, hooking his fingers into the lace of your panties and tugging them down your legs in one smooth motion. He tossed the scrap of fabric onto the expensive floor without a second glance.
He looked at your pussy with a smirk pulling at his lips. "Look at that," his voice barely cut through the sounds of Jake's wet suction and Jay's heavy breathing. He reached out with two fingers to graze your folds, coming away coated in your evidence. He held them up to the dim light, showing you how much you were already leaking. "You're absolutely soaking. Such a little slut for the team, aren't you, baby girl?"
The words hit you in a way that made your toes curl and sent a whine into Jay's hungry mouth, your hips instinctively rolled upward toward Sunghoon's hand or face, desperate for the friction you knew was coming.
From the edge of the couch, Heeseung watched with a calm satisfaction, his arms crossed over his chest, taking in the sight of his teammates dismantling the newest ice girl.
"She's perfect," Heeseung noted. "Jay, move."
You were pinned to the plush leather of the sofa like a living sacrifice to the tradition you had only joked about five hours ago.
Heeseung leaned over you, letting his large hand cup the side of your face so he could claim your mouth. His kiss was deep, slower than Jayās and tasted of dark intentions. But the moment his tongue met yours, you felt like you could fall in love with him, that thought was quickly pushed out of your head when a pair of hot, wet lips latched directly onto your clit with a suction so precise it felt like a machine.
"Ahā!" Your back arched violently off the cushions as you broke away from Heeseung's mouth, only to look down and find Jay's dark hair between your thighs. He didn't look up, his hands gripped your hips with bruising force to keep you still while his tongue worked with in rhythmic motions. He was fucking your pussy with his mouth, swirling his tongue and flicking it against the most sensitive parts of your cunt until you were sobbing into the quiet of the room. "SāSlow down!"
You tried to tug at the roots of his hair to ground yourself but there was no use. On either side of your chest, Jake was still relentlessly toying with your breasts, moving his mouth from one nipple to the other and grazing his teeth on the swollen peaks until they were raw and sensitive.
Heeseung didn't let you stay away for long, his hand shifted from your cheek again before sliding down until his fingers curled firmly around your throat. It wasn't enough to choke you, just a steady, pressure that forced your chin up and pinned you in place while he leaned back in to reclaim your lips.
"Stay still for me, mama."
With a hand on your neck, Jake's mouth on your chest and Jay's tongue devouring your cunt, you felt like you were being pulled apart. You became a mess of whimpers and little breaths while your body twitched with every flick of Jay's tongue as the four of them began the process of breaking you in.
Heeseung pulled back just enough to look down at you, his thumb tracing the line of your lower lip, which was now swollen from his kisses.
"Do you know how to suck a dick, doll face?" he asked, to which you could only nod with your eyes wide and glazed over from arousal.
He took hold of your jaw with a firm grip, maneuvering your head like a piece of equipment he was testing for the first time. You were forced to turn away from the wet sounds Jay was still making between your thighs and suddenly you were face to face with Sunghoonās cock. He stood right at the edge of the sofa with his jeans already pulled down. His cock was thick and pulsing with a life of its own, there was a perfect bead of precum trembling at the crown. It looked lethal in that light, it looked way too big and ready, completely unapologetic.
"Open up."
Your mouth fell open in a silent invitation that he accepted instantly as he guided his length past your lips. The salt heavy taste of him flooded your mouth and you found yourself choking out a muffled whimper when he slid in deep, bottoming out against the back of your throat on the very first thrust.
He wasn't gentle, he lacked the patience Jake liked to pretend he had, he reaching down, he tangled his fingers into your hair at the roots to steady you or perhaps just to keep you from pulling away then began to fuck your face with a bruising rhythm.
It was complete sensory static, you had Sunghoon's weight invading your throat, Jay's tongue still ruthlessly fucking your pussy below and the heavy pressure of Heeseung's hand on the back of your neck. Every time Sunghoon thrust, his hips bumped against your nose and the scent of him suffocates you in the best possible way.
You were drowning in them, drowning in the friction of the leather sofa against your back and the dual assault on your body, you could barely find the air to breathe. It made you reach out and dig your fingers into Sunghoon's quads for some kind of leverage, you felt the rock hard muscle jump under your touch as you doubled down on the suction.
"God, look at her," Jake's voice drifted from somewhere above your chest. "She's taking him so well. Such a pretty thing."
Sunghoon wasnāt offering any ounce of mercy, his movement turned into something frenzied as he crowded into your space. He used your hair as a tether, pulling your head back to meet every punishing lunge, the friction of his length against your tongue and throat becoming a choking heat. You were swamped in the taste of him, making your eyes water cause his hips snapped forward with a certainty that left you with no room to breathe.
Determined to wrestle back some semblance of control, you reached up and clamped your hand around the very base of his cock, letting thumb press firmly into the heavy vein on the side, you tried to anchor him in place, circling your tongue around the head with laser focus. You started to suck and choke on him in a pace that had his knees buckling against the edge of the cushions.
The controlled grunts he had been making finally fractured. "Fuck," he gasped, something genuine and high pitched ripping from his throat as his head snapped back. The cold look heād been attempting to wear all night was completely replaced by a wrecked expression that bordered on pain. He leaned his full weight into you, bracing one hand against the wall behind the couch, his fingertips raked against your scalp cause he was losing the battle to stay composed.
He looked down at the others, his voice a jagged rasp that ripped through the wet sounds of Jay still eating your pussy so messily and the squelching of his own cock fucking your mouth. "Heeseung...oh fuck my life, she's actually sāso fucking good at this."
Jakeās chuckle was appreciative from where he was still occupied with your chest, his thumb flicking your nipple with a punishing pinch that made you jump. "I told you. She's got that quiet desperate energy. They're always the nastiest."
Jay hadnāt even come up for air from the slick mess between your thighs, his tongue was still hitting your clit with sharp flicks that made your hips buck weakly into his mouth.
Heeseung's hand was tracing the frantic pulse in your throat, he watched the way your cheeks hollowed out when you doubled down on Sunghoon, his expression shifting from calculated observation to something much hungrier.
"Damn," "What a sight."
You fought for every bit of air while stilling working your throat around Sunghoon with a needy drive that you were determined to maintain until he finally came. You wanted that win, you wanted the feeling of him losing his composure completely as he spilled into your mouth but the sensation coming from Jay was starting to break your focus.
Two thick fingers suddenly shoved their way past your entrance and stretched you wide with an abrupt force that made your eyes roll back instantly. At the same moment, a hot mouth seized your clit again, sucking with an intent pressure that had you wanting to shriek.
The rush was too much, it was a violent collision of pleasure that had you trembling on the couch. You tried to pull back, shaking your head as you attempted to dislodge Sunghoon just to let out the scream building in your lungs. But Sunghoon wasn't having it, he forced you back down until you were buried to the hilt once more, snapping his hips forward with an unchecked urgency.
"Come on, baby girl...I'm so fucking close. Take this cock for me. Youāre a good girl, right?"
You tried to obey, hollowing your cheeks so you could double down on the suction but the fingers inside you were merciless. They pushed deeper, reaching past depths you didn't know you had and hooking upward to find that one receptive spot to stay there, pulsing against it until your entire body went rigid.
The dam within you didn't just break, it completely shattered, leading to a hot wave of fluid erupting from you, soaking the hand buried inside you and splashing against the expensive cushions. You were squirting around those fingers in quivering jets, your gummy muscles clenched in an uncoordinated pulses that you couldn't stop if you tried. Every muffled whimper and sob was swallowed whole by Sunghoon's length, leaving you to shake helplessly as you were essentially being consumed from both ends.
"No way," Jake's excitement reached your ears through the haze, he stopped his assault on your breasts just to stare down at the slick mess soaking into the dark leather. "Holy shit, she's a squirter. Hee, did you see that?"
Jay let out an elated sound while his fingers were still buried deep to catch every last twitch of your orgasm. "I see it," he muttered. "I feel it. Youāre ruining the couch, angel."
Even through their words and the force of your organs that had you shaking, Sunghoonās hips were unstoppable. It was like he had lost his grip on reality and you could tell he was on the edge of his own climax.
His hand tightened in your hair with a pushing force as a string of broken curses tore from his throat. "Holy fucking shitāFuckkk baby girl." "ShāShit! Youāre gonna make me cum."
It was as if it was too much for him but he didnāt pull back, he pushed further into to your mouth, the phallic head of his cock assaulting your throat.
His hot spurts of cum shot down, making you gag and the cum overflow but he wasn't done, he somehow managed to keep thrusting, trying to fuck every last drop back into you with so much heat that your eyes rolled into the back of your head.
"Easy, Hoon. You're going to choke her," Heeseung's voice broke through the fog, still calm but carrying that undeniable authority. He reached forward, wrapping a hand around Sunghoon's shoulder and physically hauling him back.
The moment the pressure vanished and you heard the squelch of his cock pulling out from your mouth, you collapsed forward on the sofa. You couldn't seem to catch your breath, the air was whistling in your lungs as you coughed uncontrollably. Strings of white, pearly cum trailed from the corners of your mouth, dripped down your chin and carved wet paths through the sweat on your neck.
Jay moved over to catch your jaw, he started to pull at the hem of his shirt and made an effort to wipe the mess from your face but it was a lost causeāyou were completely ruined. He looked down at you, his thumb tracing the swollen line of your lower lip and his eyes went soft for a minute. "You okay? We can stop if you've had enough. You're shaking like crazy."
The room went still for a heartbeat and all four sets of eyes tracked the way your chest heaved. You swallowed hard, still tasting Sunghoon heavy on your tongue and looked up through your lashes. A defiant smile making its way to your lips, even though a stray tear from overstimulation rolled down your cheek.
"No," your voice was barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat. "You haven't even fucked me yet. Isn't that what you promised?"
A charged silence followed your words before Jake let out a sharp laugh that sounded more like a bark. "Jesus Christ," "She's a total fucking freak. I love it."
Before you could even think to retort, Heeseung's hands were on your hips hauling you up and flipping you over, forcing you onto all fours in the center of the sofa. Your knees sank into the plush leather and your head hung low, making your hair shield your face as you felt the cold air of the room hit your exposed pussy.
Heeseung seemed to love keeping you suspended in that agonizingly sharp moment of anticipation, your breath wouldnāt stop hitching as your patience dwindled, you felt the blunt head of his cock begin to drag along your wet folds. He was taking his time, coating himself in the mess Jay had left behind, teasing the entrance until you were mindlessly rolling your hips back to find him.
"DāDonāt tease!" You shrieked at him, so desperate to be filled, he finally pushed in slowly, it was so intrusive that you felt like you were being split wide from the inside out. His size was unforgiving and every millimeter he gained seemed to stretch your walls to their absolute limit. You were starting to tremble, your elbows buckling as you tried to stay upright and in a moment of total overstimulation, you twisted your neck to look back at him.
That was a mistake.
The second your eyes met his dark, blown out ones, completely hollow of any pity, his face hardened and he reached forward, large hand wrapping firmly around the front of your throat, not to choke you but to force your head up and arch your spine, causing a violent surge of his hips that buried his cock all the way inside your pussy.
"FUCK!" You screamed straight from your lungs, the impact was so sudden it knocked the air out of you, leaving you gasping as your walls squeezed down around him in a reflexive grip.
"Nnghāfuck," he grunted, dropping his forehead to the space between your shoulder blades at the feeling of you clenching. His fingers tightened slightly on your neck to hold you steady against the force of his own intrusion. "You're so fucking tight. Doll, are you sure youāve been fucked before?"
Regardless of his pussy drunk concern, he didnāt give you a second to adjust, picking a speed that had him bottoming out with every single thrust, making the world blur into a cloud of white light and the steady slap of skin meeting skin.
You found a way to open your eyes and were immediately met with Jay standing just inches from your face with his hardened dick in his hand, stroking at the view in front of him. The sight of him with completely unfiltered hunger in his eyes made you reach out to try to grab him yourself but your fingers grazed his thigh instead.
"Yeah? You want this too, angel?"
You couldn't even find your voice, you could only bob your head in a nod while Heeseung's hips collided with your ass.
"Say please," Jay commanded.
"Ahānhh, please..." you whined, the sound breaking into a jagged sob as Heeseung bottomed out again. "Please, Jay...please fuck my mouth."
He kneeled on the couch on the space between your hands, the heat of him hit your face before he tapped the heaviness of his length on your outstretched tongue. You were a complete mess, your hands clinging his thighs for balance while your body was tossed back and forth between the two of them.
Heeseung shifted his angle and suddenly he wasn't just pounding into you anymore, he began to grind into that spot that had your toes curling into the leather. It wasn't the raw friction Sunghoon had used to fuck your faceāit was a slow and deliciously exact pressure that made you pull off Jayās cock for a second.
"Oh my God! Right there! FuāAh!" A broken string of moans escaping you, you looked up at Jay with your eyes glazed and watering. "Jayyy, Heeseung...Heeseungās fucking me so good...Itās so good, Jay!"
Jay watched your face contort with the pleasure Heeseung was providing. "Yeah?" Jay rasped with an instant competitive heat and pushed his way back into your mouth, forcing you to take him deep but not as deep as Sunghoon. "You like that? You like how he's stretching out your little pussy?"
Just as you were starting to manage the dual invasion of Jay and Heeseung, a new spark ignited at your core. Someone had reached beneath you, finding your clit with his fingers and rubbing down until he heard you moan.
"WāWait! Too much!"
The scream was raw and echoed off the high ceilings as you realized Jake was the source of the new pleasure. A new pleasure so overwhelming it turned you into a delirious mess of babbles.
"Thank youāfuckāthank you so much!" You cried, your head thrashing against the sofa cushions, completely abandoning Jayās dick. "Itās so big...my pussy! Oh my God! Heeseung, it feels so good!"
You dug your fingers into the leather and began to throw your ass back with an erratic force, you were weaponizing your own body, slamming back against him so hard that he let out a choked off grunt, his hands scrambled to find purchase on your waist cause you had completely hijacked his rhythm. He was losing his control, it made his breath come out in ragged, stuttering hitches as you ground your pussy on his fic harder and harder.
"Waitāoh shitādoll, slow down," Heeseung managed to say but his voice a mess. He was trembling and muscles were all corded and tight with how hard he was struggled to keep up with your manic pace. "I'm gonna...fuck...can I cum? Can I cum inside you, doll?"
"Yes! Yes!" you keened. "Give it to me, Heeseungāfill me up, please, please just do it! Please give me your cum!"
Maybe Jake was starting to feel felt out or neglected, maybe thatās why his eyes got this strange kind of glee in them when he delivered three stinging slaps directly to your swollen clit.
The impact was the final straw and you knew you didnāt stand a chance, your vision went dark at the corners and for the second time in less than an hour a wave of fluid erupted from your pussy, soaking Heeseung's thighs and the sofa in a hot jolt. At that exact moment, Heeseung lost the battle, letting out a guttural roar and having his fingers bruise your hips when he surged forward one last time and pinned you down, dumping his entire load deep inside your overstimulated cunt.
The expensive fabric of Zoya's dress was now a lost cause, it was a ruined topographical map of cum streaks and the translucent evidence of your own multiple orgasms. You were slumped against the leather with your skin hot when Jake leaned into your space. He looked down at you with a fake pout, his bottom lip tucked out in a way that would have been endearing if his eyes weren't so eager.
"You look absolutely undone," Jake said softly, a little playfully too while he traced a smudge of Sunghoon's cum on your cheek. "Are we done? Because you haven't even touched me yet and I'm starting to feel a little neglected over here."
Heeseung was a complete afterthought at this point, slumped back against the sofa cushions with his chest heaving, he looked entirely fucked out and content to just watch the rest of them continue to use you. Jay snorted as soon as he saw his captain sidelined before he reached out and tugged you toward him.
He didn't give you a choice in the positioning, quickly sitting back and pulling you onto his lap so that your back was pressed against his firm chest, your legs straddling his thick thighs in a reverse cowgirl that left you bare and vulnerable.
"I can be a bit rough, angel," Jay warned in a low voice that traveled straight through your spine. He leaned forward and let his lips graze the shell of your ear. "Just tap my arm if you need me to slow down, okay?"
You were able to give him a weak nod but right before you could even settle into the new position, the dynamic shifted. Jay's hands slid down, hooking the firmly under your knees and hauling your legs upward until your thighs were pinned against your chest. He shifted his grip and locked his fingers behind your head in a makeshift full nelson that made your chest thrust forward and your pussy completely bared to the room.
Jake quickly stepped in and helped Jay's guide his length to your entrance. The thrust of him was so creamy and squelching due to the mixture of Heeseung's and your cum but it didn't stop the way your pussy still felt stretched and overstimulated.
"Oh fuckā!"
You were completely at his mercy, pinned between his solid frame and the air, with no way to pull back or adjust the depth. Jay didn't waste a second of your shock, snapping his hips forward with animalistic strength that made your entire body jostle with every strike.
You became a passenger in your own body, your head lolling forward cause you had no choice, he ruined what was left of your composure with a speed you had no hope of escaping.
The sound Jake's loud commentary and the heavy, satisfied sound of Heeseung's laughter became nothing more than background static the moment Jay's lips grazed the damp skin of your earlobe, to whisper like he didn't want anyone else to hear. "Look at you," he hissed and words rattled in your skull.
His arms tightened under yours, pulling your chest even tighter against the position so he could fuck into you with sickeningly perfect thrusts. "Taking all of me like a champ while they just watch. You're so fucking wet, I can hear it every time my dick goes inside you. Do you like being our little showpiece? Do you like how much of a mess we've made of you?"
You tried to gasp, tried to find some response but he caught your ear in his teeth in a sharp nip. "Answer me, angel," he ordered and you couldn't help but clench harder at the sound of his sexy voice in your ear. "Tell me how good it feels to have me giving you this good dick. Tell me you're never going to be the same after tonight."
The way he spoke was so different from Sunghoon's cold commands or Heeseung's calculated dominance. He seemed to be utterly depraved while he detailed exactly what he was doing to your body, using words that made you feel like you were going insane.
"NnhāJayā"
"Yeah, that's it," he rasped, increasing his pace until you were bouncing helplessly in his grip. "Keep saying my name like that. Let them watch you cum apart for me. You're so fucking perfect, I'm gonna lose it if you keep squeezing me like that."
You were a complete disaster in his arms, like his words were actively bypassing your brain and heading straight for your pussy. He was pinning you to his chest and whispering every filthy thought he'd had about you since he first spotted you tonight, and with every word, he pushed you closer to the edge of your third orgasm you weren't sure your body was ready for.
The physical barrier of Jay's body didn't stop Jake, he seemed to be a creature of opportunity and when his eyes caught onto the wet frothing friction of Jayās cock pounding into you, he darted his tongue out to trace Jayās cock, catching the pearly drops of cum that had pooled at the base of him, and then he made a torturous trek upward. He licked right over the tension of your stretched entrance with his tongue firm and flat, before landing straight on your clit.
"MmmāJakeāNOā!"
Your scream was harsh, heavy with the evidence of total sensory overload that vibrated through Jay's chest. You weren't just getting fucked anymore, they were taking you apart from the outside in. Every time Jake's tongue swirled over your now extremely sensitive nub, a fresh jerk of aching pleasure sang through your whole body to the point where all you could do was kick your feet and moan. "Oh my God! Oh shitttt! Fuck!" "NgghāMy pussy!"
"Look at you," Jay said into your ear so lowly that no one could hear him over the sound of your cries. "She's losing her fucking mind, Jake. Look at how she's shaking."
Jake didn't answer him with words, he just doubled down, mouth sucking, spitting and slurping until your vision was spotting. He was working in perfect tandem with Jayāthe blunt force of the thrusts bottoming out inside you while Jakeās wet mouth kept you on the very edge of another violent climax.
You were a mess of incoherent sobs and frantic hitches as the room blurred into a haze of salt and the overwhelming scent of four men who were determined to see exactly how much you could take before they finally broke you for good.
"Hey," "You think you can handle more? You think that pretty little pussy of yours can take two cocks at once?"
Your brain was mid short circuiting from the overstimulation of both of them leaving you totally incapable of actual thought. You just wanted to be good for them, you wanted to be the perfect, ruined thing they so badly desired.
"Yes," you sobbed into the quiet of the room, making eye contact with Jake who had with tongue flat out so Jay was brushing up against it too. "Yes, please...I can take it."
Jay eyes locked onto Jake's with a competitive look. "She says she wants both, Jake. Get in here."
Jay didn't stop, but he did shift his rhythm, slowing the full nelson into a heavy grind that still kept you anchored while Jake stepped into the space between Jay's spread legs. Jake was vibrating with a feverish drive, his eyes were blown wide when he looked down at the slick mess of your pussy, mostly from him spitting and slurping all over it.
He spat a dollop directly onto your pussy again and the heat of it was a stark difference to the cooling fluids already coating your skin. Looking at him above you, all you could notice was how he was undeniably the heaviest and thickest youād seen all night but you didnāt even get the chance to appreciate it before he decided to slap the heaviness of his cock directly on your swollen clit.
"Ah shit! Fuck Fuck Fuckā!" Your toes curled mid air.
He was massive in a way that made Sunghoon and Heeseung look manageable by comparison and who had struggled to take them, so how would you manage this?
"Look at you," Jake mocked, guiding the thick weeping head of his cock into your pussy, right alongside where Jay was still buried deep and grinding just on that spot. "Youāre already stretching out for me. Youāre such a good little slut, arenāt you?"
He began to push his way in, not waiting for your body to adjust around two massive cocks inside you. The stretch was agonizing, you felt like your walls were being pressed flat against your pelvis. You were being split in two, the two of them worked in sync to draw out the high pitched whimpers from your throat, bullying their way into your pussy until you were stuffed to the brim.
"That's it," Jay whispered in your ear, tightening his arms to keep you from collapsing under the weight of them both. "Take these cocks, angel. Show us how much you can really take."
His words made the room start to blur in a spectrum of light and the heavy thud of the sofa hitting the wall. Jay and Jake had found a devastating coordinationāa seamless tag team assault where one was bottoming out against your cervix just as the other was pulling back to the entrance. You were never left empty, never given a second to recoil or catch a single, clean breath.
"God, Jay, your cock feels amazing," Jake barked out in a manic laugh while he watched the way your walls buckled and pulled taut to accommodate both their lengths. "I can feel you pulsing right against me inside her. She's so fucking tight." "You always this tight, babe?"
You were barely tethered to reality not to talk of attempting to respond to him, he was asking like he and his teammate werenāt both fucking your little pussy at the same damn time. "I canāt! YouāreāIām gonna cum again! Please!"
In a moment of panicked overstimulation, you tried to blink through the sweat stinging your eyes to search the shadows for Heeseung's grounding presence or Sunghoon's cold, watchful gaze. But the living room had swallowed them whole, they were nowhere to be found, leaving you entirely at the mercy of the two most insane.
Jake had seemed to develop a fresh obsession with your clit. It was like he couldnāt stop himself from reaching out for the twitching bundle of nerves with his fingers. The shock of the cold metal of his rings against your feverish, hot skin sent a violent tremor through your entire frame.
"Ah! Waitā! Nāno!"
"No? I bet you fucking love it?" "I bet you love being fucked by four random strangers, oh shit."
"I bet this is the bestāoh fuck!āIām going to cum."
"This is the best night of your life. Say it."
"Holy shit! Yes yes yes! This is the best night of my fucking life!"
"You're going to be such a pretty little ice girl for us, you know that? Youāll be the sexiest thing on the ice. Everyone's gonna to look at you and have no idea you were fucked like this, shit, like a whore on a Friday night."
The mention of the ice, the mention of the world outside this suffocating living room felt like a distant dream. Your vision started to tunnel and the edges of the room started to fray into darkness as the dual friction of their bodies and the icy bite of Jake's rings pushed you toward a ledge you couldn't come back from.
A third and what you could tell would be your most violent orgasm of the night was already beginning to bubble up in your stomach, the feeling threatened to short circuit your entire nervous system. Your walls clutched at them with a crushing strength and for a terrifying, blissful second, the world went completely silent as you felt yourself starting to slip out of consciousness right at the peak of your pleasure.
The world didn't just blur, it splintered. Your third orgasm hit you with so much force you sat on the edge of unconsciousness, you tried to hold onto the overwhelming fullness of them both but your vision had started to dissolve into static.
Through the ringing in your ears, you heard a sharp grunt when Jake suddenly pulled out. The loss of his heavy weight was a shock to your system and you were left choking for a breath you couldn't quite find.
"Fuckā"
A second later, you felt the heat of his cum splashing across your chest, the weight of it soaking into the ruined fabric of the dress and landing on your sensitive nipple. He didn't stop, his hand tugging his cock in a final rhythm to coat your skin in the evidence of how much you had ruined him.
At the exact same moment, Jay let out a low moan but he didnāt pull out, if anything, he shoved his cock deeper just as he unlocked his fingers from behind your head and you immediately felt his cum beginning to fill you up, a heavy, internal tide that pushed you over the final ledge.
The heavy sound of their breathing was the last thing you registered before you slipped into a dark, unconsciousness, completely and utterly spent.
Is that a bird? You thought. No way thatās a bird but there was a chirp piercing through the fog of your consciousness. You winced as you tried to blink the world into focus, the ceiling above you was familiar, the off white and the faint water stain in the corner were familiar but the context was all wrong.
You were in your own dorm room.
The confusion hit like a physical weight and made your heart hammer against your ribs. You felt clean too, with the lingering scent of a citrusy body wash clinging to your skin but when you managed to push yourself up, the fabric of what you were wearing felt heavy and oversized. It wasn't your silk slip of Zoyaās dress, it was a thick, grey hoodie that smelled faintly of Jay's cologne and a pair of soft athletic shorts that definitely didn't belong to you.
A sharp ache blossomed in your lower back the moment you shifted, followed by a dull soreness between your thighs that made you hiss through your teeth. So you definitely didnāt dream up last night, the memory of all four of them, from Sunghoon fucking your face to Heeseungās grip on your throat and the brutal weight of Jay and Jake stretching you to the brink, everything came rushing back in a vivid flood.
You reached up to trace the sensitive skin of your neck. Even without a mirror, you could feel the tender heat of the hickeys littered all across your collarbone and neck. You pulled back the hem of the oversized hoodie and gasped at the blossoming bruises on your hips, they were perfectly symmetrical to where Jay and Heeseung had grabbed you.
"How did I get back here?" you whispered to yourself and reached for your bedside table, expecting to find your cracked phone screen and a half empty water bottle. Instead, your hand brushed against the wicker of a massive, overflowing gift basket. It was filled with things that had no business being in a college dorm roomāhigh end skincare, a silk robe, a plushie and boxes of artisanal chocolates.
But sitting right at the center and gleaming under the morning sun, was a pair of professional grade figure skates looking like something you would never buy cause of how expensive you knew they were. The white leather was pristine, the blades polished to a lethal shine and as you pulled them closer, you saw your initialsāyour initialsāexpertly embroidered into the heel in silver thread.
Tucked into the laces was a small card. You opened it with shaking fingers to read the scribbled words.
Thank you for the lovely night, doll face.
ā The Hockey Team
These boys had seen you at your most ruined, they had taken apart every bit of your composure until you literally blacked out in their arms and then they had washed you, brought you back to your own bed and tucked you into bed like you were something precious.
You were tracing the silver embroidery on the skates when the door to your dorm swung open with a violent bang. Zoya practically vibrated into the room in a whirlwind of excitement and messy hair, her voice was already at a pitch that made your sore head throb even more.
"You will not believe him!" she shrieked, collapsing onto the foot of your bed without even looking up. "Jungwon isāgod, he's actually the sweetest human alive. He sent me like five texts checking if I got in okay, even though he walked me back and now we're going on a date tonight? I'm going to throw up, I'm so nervous. You have to help me, I need to breathe, I needā"
She stopped mid sentence when her eyes finally landed on you. Her jaw dropped as she took in the oversized hoodie, the tangled mess of your hair and the undeniable hickey just above your collarbone. Then, her gaze drifted to the massive basket and the gleaming skates.
"Oh my," she breathed, her voice dropping into a stunned, reverent whisper. "Wait...is this from Jay? Stop, that is actually so hot. Did you guys...did you actually have sex? Tell me everything!"
"Yeahā¦we did. Something like that."
"No way! You're kidding! And he sent all this!?" Zoya shrieked, lunging forward to tackle you into the pillows while you wracked your brain for a less insane version of the story you were going to feed her, a version where you had sex with just Jay.
Exactly three weeks later, it was hockey season and the biting chill of the practice rink felt like a sanctuary these days rather than a chore. You glided through a series of warm up laps with the other ice girls in the brand new skates that now felt like a natural extension of your own body. They were perfectly broken in, like a silent reminder of a night that still felt like a fever dream every time you closed your eyes.
Zoya was a few feet away in a blur of focus and grace. She tucked into a tight, centered spin, her arms pulling in as she gained a dizzying amount of speed. It was genuinely impressive, she had the kind of technical precision that usually took years to master and you couldn't help but pause to watch her finish with a sharp flourish. "Show off," you teased her.
She laughed but her attention was immediately pulled toward the far end of the rink when the loud thud of the gate opening echoed through the arena, followed by the aggressive clack-clack of blades hitting the ice. The hockey team was filing out for their scheduled practice and their presence instantly shifted the energy of the room from quiet focus to something loud and electric.
Jungwon didn't even bother wavering the moment he spotted Zoya, he skated straight to her in fluid movements despite the heavy pads. He caught her by the waist and leaned in to press a quick kiss to her lips that had her giggling like a schoolgirl.
"See you after?" he asked loud enough for you to hear, before skating off toward the center circle. As you watched him skate away, your eyes drifted to the rest of the team and you found Jake almost immediately. He was leaning against the boards with his helmet tucked under one arm while he watched you with those eyes. When he realized you were looking back at him, he didn't look away, instead he let his eyes drop to the silver initials on your skates before snapping back to yours with a wink that said everything and nothing at all.
Zoyaās head whipped toward you, her eyes wide cause she caught the tail end of the exchange. "Woah, woahāwhat was that? Jake? Seriously?" She skated closer and poked your arm with a gloved finger. "Does Jay know his teammate is giving you those kinds of googly eyes? Are you trying to start a locker room war?"
A slow heat curled in your gut but didn't say a word. You just looked at her and held her gaze for a beat, then made a deliberate show of zipping your lips together and throwing away the key with a flick of your wrist.
"Stop! You are so mean!" Zoya squealed, grabbing your shoulders and spinning you around in a circle. She started whining, her voice echoing off the high ceilings as she begged for just one little detail. "You can't do that to me! I tell you everything about Jungwon! Is it a thing? Is it a secret thing?"
You just laughed, the sound bright and clear against the ice, enjoying the way she was spiraling into a hysterical frenzy. You watched the guys start their drillsāHeeseungās effortless authority, Jayās raw power, Jakeās erratic energy and Sunghoonās cold precision.
Zoya could have her dinner dates and her sweet texts with Jungwon, this was a secret that no one else needed to knowāexcept, perhaps, next year's chosen ice girl.
HE'S USED TO GIRLS CRUMBLING.
Tears, trembling legs, desperate little begs while he spits filth and breaks them apart with every brutal thrust. But you?
You moan softly, laugh breathily, and throw his own dirty talk right back in his pretty face like itās a game.
And maybe? It is.
Game on, pretty boy. You just met your match.
pairing: fuckboy!jungwon x reader !
warnings: strong language alcohol power imbalance toxic relationship one night stand porn with little plot
warnings (smut): jungwon's a dick he's exactly what men shouldn't be. Power imbalance degradation dirty talk humiliation manipulation mindfuck toxicness toxic masculinity unprotected sex (no!) semi-public sex risk of getting caught creampie choking doggy style no romance no feelings one night stand meandom!jungwon harddom!jungwon rough sex
playlist: Often by The Weeknd [] Into It by Chase Atlantic [] Starboy (feat. daft punk) by The Weeknd [] Nine Inch Nails by Closer []
likes and reblogs for a cookie!
ā WORD COUNT: 2K !
(Masterlist)
Yang Jungwon is the kind of fuckboy who makes a girl regret wanting him the second heās done with her.
Heās got that angelic face, soft doe eyes, pretty lips, dimples that appear when he smirks like he already knows heās about to ruin you. But the moment the door closes and clothes hit the floor, the mask drops. Jungwon fucks like he hates you. Brutal, mean, and terrifyingly good at it.
He doesnāt do slow or sweet. He pins you down with one hand around your throat, the other gripping your hip hard enough to bruise, and pounds into you like heās trying to break something inside. Deep, punishing strokes that make your eyes water and your voice crack. Heāll pull your hair, slap your ass, spit in your mouth, and call you the filthiest names while heās buried balls-deep, laughing low and cruel when you sob his name like a prayer.
He always makes you cum, multiple times, actually, because he gets off on watching you fall apart for him. But the second he finishes (usually down your throat or painted across your face), the switch flips.
He pulls out, wipes himself off like youāre nothing, and tosses you your clothes.
āGet dressed.ā
If you try to linger, if you even breathe the word āagainā or āstay,ā his expression goes ice-cold. Those pretty eyes turn dead.
āI told you before we started, this is it. One time. I donāt do seconds. I donāt date. I donāt cuddle. I donāt give a fuck about your feelings.ā
And if you cry? If you beg or ask why heās so cruel?
He just laughs, low and mocking, while he lights a cigarette or checks his phone.
āCrying already? Pathetic. You knew what this was. You spread your legs for me anyway. Now stop embarrassing yourself and get the fuck out. Donāt ever text me again thinking Iāll wet my dick with the same pussy twice. Whatās done is done.ā
Heās merciless. No soft aftercare. No fake promises. Just the brutal truth: you were a hole for the night, and now youāre disposable.
The girls always leave in tears, mascara running, thighs still shaking, heart shattered, because Jungwon doesnāt just fuck your body. He fucks with your head too, making you feel like the most desired girl in the world for thirty minutes and then like absolute garbage the moment heās finished.
And the worst part? He never feels bad about it. Not even a little. Because Yang Jungwon doesnāt catch feelings.
He only catches new pussy.
And the moment Jungwon lays his eyes on you during Heeseungās party? You know youāre in for something good tonight.Ā
The bathroom door is barely locked, the bass from the party still thumping through the walls like a second heartbeat. Jungwon has you folded in half on the marble counter, your back pressed against the cold mirror, knees pushed all the way to your chest, ankles hooked over his shoulders. Your dress is bunched uselessly around your waist, panties ripped and dangling from one ankle.
Heās pounding into you with brutal, deep strokes, hips snapping hard enough that the sound of skin slapping skin echoes louder than the music outside. His cock is thick, veiny, stretching you open with every punishing thrust, the head dragging against that spot that makes your toes curl.
Jungwonās hand is wrapped around your throat, squeezing just enough to make your vision blur at the edges. His pretty face is twisted into that signature smirk, sweat dripping from his dark hair onto your tits.
āFuck, youāre tight,ā he growls, slamming in particularly hard, watching your pussy swallow every inch. āSuch a dirty little slut, letting me bend you like this in someone elseās bathroom. Bet you let anyone who looks at you twice wreck this cunt, huh?ā
He expects the usual, whimpering, begging, tears already forming because heās being so mean, so rough.
But you only let out a soft, breathy āAhāfuckā¦ā when he angles his hips just right and grinds against your clit with every thrust. Your eyes stay half-lidded, lips parted, but thereās no sobbing. No pleading.
Instead, when he calls you a slut again, you bite back with a sharp little laugh that turns into a moan.
āSlut? Says the guy who dragged a stranger into the bathroom because he couldnāt keep his dick in his pants for thirty minutes,ā you shoot back, voice surprisingly steady despite how deep heās buried. Your walls flutter around him on purpose, clenching tight just to watch his smirk falter for half a second. āIf Iām such a slut, whyās your cock twitching like itās never felt a pussy this good before?ā
Jungwonās eyes narrow. That wasnāt the reaction he wanted. He pulls almost all the way out and slams back in with vicious force, the counter creaking under you. His grip on your throat tightens as he leans in closer, lips brushing your ear.
āKeep talking shit and Iāll fuck that attitude right out of you,ā he hisses, picking up the pace, brutally drilling into you so your body jolts with every thrust. āYouāre supposed to be crying by now, begging me not to stop like every other pathetic girl. What the fuck is wrong with you?ā
Another sharp thrust. Another soft, sweet āAhhā¦ā from you when he hits that perfect angle again, nothing more.
You tilt your head back against the mirror, eyes locking with his, a teasing smirk of your own playing on your lips even as your pussy drips around his cock.
āWrong with me?ā you gasp between thrusts, still sounding far too composed. āNothing. I just donāt cry for boys who think being an asshole makes them special. Now shut up and fuck me properly if you can, Jungwon. Or are you all bite no bark?ā
His jaw clenches. The pretty fuckboy who always makes girls break is suddenly the one thrown off. He doesnāt like it.
And he definitely doesnāt like how much his cock throbs harder at your sharp tongue.
Jungwon pulls out suddenly, flips you around like you weigh nothing, and bends you over the sink instead, face pressed to the mirror, ass up, back arched deep. He kicks your legs wider and drives back into you in one brutal thrust, one hand fisting your hair, the other slapping your ass hard enough to leave a mark.
āFine,ā he snarls, voice low and dangerous as he starts railing you even harder from behind. āLetās see how long that pretty mouth stays smart when Iām done with you.ā
Your only response is another soft, pleased āAhā¦ā as he hits even deeper, followed by a breathy, defiant little chuckle.
Game on, Yang Jungwon.Ā
The slap of skin on skin is filthy and loud in the small bathroom, almost drowning out the muffled party music outside.
Jungwon has you bent over the sink now, one hand fisted tight in your hair, the other gripping your hip so hard his fingers are going to leave bruises. Heās fucking you with vicious, deep strokes, fast, mean, relentless. Every time he bottoms out, the head of his cock bullies against that spot that makes your pussy flutter and drip.
Youāve been taking it like itās nothing. Soft little āahās and sharp comments. No tears. No begging. Until suddenly your walls clamp down hard around him.
A low, shaky moan slips from your lips as you cream all over his cock, warm, slick, pulsing, your pussy gushing and squeezing him in tight, rhythmic waves. The feeling is so fucking good it rips a guttural groan out of Jungwonās throat before he can stop it.
āFuckāshitāā
He canāt hold back. His hips stutter once, twice, then he buries himself to the hilt and cums hard inside you. Thick, hot ropes of cum flood your pussy in smooth, pulsing spurts, painting your walls white while your own orgasm milks every last drop out of him.
For a few seconds the only sounds are heavy breathing and the wet, obscene sound of his cock still twitching inside your cunt.
Then, just like always, the switch flips.
Jungwon pulls out in one quick motion, his cum already starting to leak down your thighs. He doesnāt say a word. Doesnāt look at you. Just turns, grabs his pants from the floor, and starts pulling them on like youāre already forgotten.
Heās waiting for it. The usual pathetic whimpering.
The āmy legs donāt workā¦āĀ Ā
The teary ācan you help me get dressed?āĀ Ā
The last girl literally begged him to carry her out of the bathroom like some princess.
Heās ready to laugh in your face and tell you to crawl if you have to. But you donāt.
You straighten up slowly, legs steady, thighs glistening with his cum and your own mess. Without a single wobble you reach for your dress, pull it back down, and smooth it over your hips like nothing happened. You even bend over casually to fix your heels, ass still out, his cum dripping down your leg, and you donāt even flinch.
Then you turn to the mirror, fix your hair with quick fingers, and wipe a smudge of lipstick from the corner of your mouth.
Jungwon freezes mid-zip, staring at you. Youāre walking perfectly fine. No shaking legs. No clinging to the counter for support. No teary eyes or whiny voice asking for help.
You just lookā¦ unbothered. Satisfied, even. Like he was just a decent workout and nothing more. His blood boils instantly.
The man who always leaves girls ruined and crying is suddenly the one whose jaw is tight, eyes dark with irritation.
He steps closer, voice low and sharp. āā¦The fuck is this?āĀ Ā
He gestures at you, standing there steady on your own two feet, already looking put-together while his cum is still leaking out of you. āYouāre not even limping? Not gonna cry and beg me to carry your useless ass out of here like the last pathetic bitch?ā
You glance at him through the mirror, one eyebrow raised, a small, amused smirk tugging at your lips.
āWhy would I?ā you say lightly, voice still a little breathy but perfectly calm. āIt was a good fuck, Jungwon. Not life-changing. My legs work just fine.ā
You turn to face him fully, adjusting the strap of your dress like youāre getting ready to walk back into the party.
āBesidesā¦ youāre the one who said āwhatās done is done,ā right? So Iām done. Thanks for the dick.ā You reach for the door handle.
Jungwonās hand slams against the door before you can open it, trapping you there. His chest is almost pressed to your back, breath hot against your ear. He looks pissed. Actually pissed.
āYouāre really just gonna walk out like that?ā His voice is dangerously quiet. āActing like I didnāt just fuck you stupid and fill you up?ā
You tilt your head slightly, still calm, still unfazed. āYeah. I am.āĀ A soft chuckle leaves you. āWhat, did I bruise your precious ego because Iām not on the floor crying for you? Poor baby.ā
His grip on the door tightens, knuckles white. He hates how much he suddenly wants to bend you over again and fuck you until you canāt walk straight for a week.
He really, really hates it. Your hand gently pushes his arm away from the door.
āMove. I have a party to get back to.ā Jungwon doesnāt move right away. His eyes are burning into you, something dark and new flickering behind that usual cold smirk.
For the first time in a long timeā¦Ā Yang Jungwon doesnāt know what the fuck to do with a girl who just walked away from him like he was average. And itās making him furious. You wink at him one last time as you push the door open, pressing a featherlight kiss to his cheek, mocking. Had it been anyone else, heād have pushed them off of himself and wiped his face in disgust, but he didnāt to you, he couldnāt.
Jake sim, one of the most popular boys in school makes it his goal to have you fall for him, a simple bet with his friends. Little does he know, heāll be the one falling to his knees for you
sim jaeyun x fem!reader
content warnings: smut, angst, inexperienced reader x experienced jake, pussy drunk jake, pussy eating, fingering, dry humping, multiple makeout scenes, mutual masterbation, unprotected sex, cream pie, mentions of bullying & alcohol, jake is a massive giver, and a simp (begging), hyung line mentioned, porn with a plot..let me know if I missed anything!
word count: 16.8k
bonus scene here!
Going to a school where everyone around you got what they wanted was torture. Especially for someone like you. You don't come from a wealthy family like the other students do. Some people would call your home life unfortunate if they knew. Which is exactly why almost no one knows.Ā
You only got accepted into this school because of a scholarship program, after endless studying, and trying to stay focused at your old school, that was your out.
It was hard though, with the bullying, the mean comments, trying to remain sane while everyone in your life pushed and pointed like you were some object for observation and critiquing.Ā
But at your new school, people actually leave you alone. You've been attending here for a few months now. As a natural observer it only took 1 to understand the dynamic of the people here.
From the designer hand bags, to the freshly blown out hair, the girls here were not only gorgeous but also had the money to maintain things like that, it was obvious why they didn't bother you. Because you weren't a threat.Ā
Just like any other school there's always those cliques, the groups of people who hang around the same circle. Yours happens to be you and two other girls, your first friends you made here, Lyla and Gigi.
You have a hard time telling if they pity you, they know your situation. How your mother constantly tries to live off the wealth of other men, they know you donāt live in a good areaā
āOh my gosh he totally looked at me, didn't he look at me?ā Lyla says, eyes darting between you and Gigi.
āHe quite literally looks at anything with boobs Ly..ā Gigi says, taking a bite of the school cafeterias fries.
āCome on, at least feed into my delusions a little bitā She says, stealing one of your fries.
You turn your head slightly, three tables back sits the most known group of boys in the whole school. Football players. Typical.
āYouāre talking about Heeseung right?ā you say turning back to your friends. āObviously! I mean with Gigi being Jayās sister obviously he knows who I am right?ā She says, eyes wide
āYeah- im sure he does, don't they hang out a ton after school and stuff too?ā You ask, playing with the salad on your plate with a fork.
āYup! At Gigiās too, most of the time, and especially after practice, when they're hot and sweaty-ā
āOkay gross. my brother is on that teamā Gigi says, gagging
You've been to her house a few times, whether it was for one of your group projects, or to help her out with some school work, Slept over often too, I mean her house was huge.
Her parents even offered to have you sleep in one of the 6 guest bedrooms. But Lyla said it doesn't count as a sleepover if weāre not all together.
āIncoming, 12 oāclock.ā Lyla says looking past your shoulder at the group of boys.
āHow much you wanna bet sheās gonna yell at himā Gigi says, making you turn around, you watch as a familiar blonde haired girl you've seen around campus storms into the cafeteria, heels clicking on the ground as she approaches them.
āJake where the fuck were you!ā She yells, glaring at the dark haired boy, number 15 on the football team. You only know that because Lyla made you go through the list of them to figure out which one Heeseung was.Ā
You watch him, the way his eyes never leave his phone when he speaks. āGod- What do you not fucking understand about where done?ā He says finally looking up at her, the other guys around him look like they're watching a movie while they observe the interaction.
āBut you didn't even-ā she starts āClara I don't want to hear your bullshit okay? Just leave me alone.ā He says, tone irritated.
āFine- you know you're just like all the other guys. Only talking to girls just to get your dick wet.āYou watch the way her grip tightens on her designer bag.
āYou didn't seem to mind.ā He says, making the guys around him let out the laughs they've been holding.
āFuck you- youāre so going to regret this!ā She says, and you watch as he rolls his eyes and focuses back on his phone
āShe looks like she's about to throw a tantrumā Gigi says, making your attention go back to your friends
āI mean Jake knew what he was getting into when they started..messing around" Lyla says.Ā
You just nod, half listening before turning your head again to look at the group, theyāre back to laughing, probably at the interaction that just happened.
ā-and then we can order pizza or something, itās the perfect night for it too! You in y/n?ā Lyla says, and you look at them confused āHuh?ā
āGirl, The Victoria's Secret fashion show duh, it's live tonight.ā She says "Gigi's house obviously since you know, movie theater roomāĀ
āI love the way you volunteered my own place, But yeah, my house tonightā She says shruggingĀ
āUm- I dont know guys..I kind of have to study-ā
āY/n it's friday night. Come on, you have all weekend to study, please!ā She says looking at you with those infamous puppy dog eyes
āFine, fine ill be there, what time?ā You ask, picking up your phone.Ā
āLike 7 ish?ā Lyla says, looking at Gigi who just nods, āYeah, Jay won't be home either, pretty sure him and his friends are going to some party.ā
āYour parents are letting him?ā Lyla asks, brow raising.
Ā āThey're not even home, they literally left for their anniversary trip not even 3 hours ago.ā Gigi says checking her phone. āSo it will just be us then? she nods.
The rest of the day is a blur, between trying to set up tutoring appointments with your counselor, because apparently it looks good to help other students, and trying to finish your own work so you can actually go to Gigiās.
You mentally prepare yourself to ask your mom if you can go tonight, hoping she's in a good mood. Knocking lightly on her bedroom door āMom?ā you ask quietly and the door swings open, you take in her attire, the club dress, the really tall heels, her hair and make up done.Ā
āYouāre going on another date?ā You ask brow raisingĀ
āYeah, remember that guy from the bar I told you about, Chris?" She says smiling, you nod even though you don't remember her saying a thing about him.Ā
āRight- um well I was just wondering if I can go to Gigiās tonight? I finished my homework and stuff and its also friday so-āĀ
āSureā She says, and you pause. It must be because she's going on a date, because you would have gotten a whole lot more shit.Ā
āCan you sleep over too.ā It's not a question.Ā
āUh- I can askā You say shrugging
āWell just try too okay? Im about to leaveā She says, putting in her earrings and giving you a very rare kiss on your forehead before walking out the door, leaving you confused as ever.
Its like the universe was on your side when you opened your phone to see the group chat messagesĀ
Lyla: Gigi we should just have a sleepover
Lyla: It's already gonna be late when the live is done too
Lyla: Plus we haven't had one in so long
Gigi: yeah I was literally going to ask if you guys wanted to stay the night anyway lol
Lyla: YAY! Good because my bags already packed
Gigi: Y/n can u come too?
You: Yup! I'll be there
You set your phone down so you can focus on packing an overnight bag, you don't need to overdress either, so you settle on wearing some shorts, a hoodie, and fluffy socks with slippers, this is a sleepover after all
When you get to Gigi's house- no, mansion, because this can't even compare to your house. Lyla comes running out
"You're late!ā She says, grabbing your bags from you āIt's like 10 minutes-āĀ
āAnd the show starts in 20!ā she says frantically, grabbing your arm and dragging you into the house
You dont think youāll ever get over how nice it is, from the high ceilings to the expensive paintings on the wall, and the pool in the backyard, probably way too big for a family of four.
You catch the faint smell of popcorn from the kitchen, as Lyla places your bags by the stairs, āWhere's Gigi?ā you askĀ
āShes setting up in the movie room, im trying to finish the popcornā Lyla says going to the kitchen
You walk down the hall you've grown familiar with, observing the pictures on the wall of Gigi's familyĀ
āY/n- how do you disconnect a Playstation from the TV? Jay didn't even bother to.ā She says, clicking random buttons on the remote. You laugh walking over to help her
ąØā”ą§
āOkay all I have to say is when I get married and stuff, im making my husband buy me that specific set.ā Lyla says over the runway music, making you and Gigi laugh because she practically yells over how loud it is.Ā
You open your mouth to speak but stop when all three of your eyes go to the door as it opens, Heeseung walks in pausing as his eyes go to the large TV screen āHoly shit- are you guys watching porn?ā He says, looking at the model on the stage, the space instantly feels smaller as Sunghoon pushesĀ past him to get in the room āWeāre not watching porn!ā Gigi says, pausing the TV
Lyla is just staring at Heeseung, Jay walks in next āGigi what the hell are you watching-ā
āDid we interrupt your group gooning session?ā Heeseung says. You watch Gigi's face flush red, now clearly visible since Jay turned on the lights.Ā
āJay- You said you were going to that stupid ass party tonight!ā She says walking over to him āYeah well it got cancelled.ā He says, rolling his eyes. āBruh I've been wanting to play the ps5 all dayā Sunghoon says before looking at the TV againĀ
āDo we not literally have a room for you to do just that?ā Gigi says, eyeing down Sunghoon, before looking back at her brother.
āDude someone left a whole bag of popcorn in the microwave-ā Jake walks in pausing when he sees everyone in here, his eyes land on you for a split second before looking at the TV āWhat are they watch-āĀ
āIts not fucking porn! You all are so stupid!ā Gigi says before her eyes snap back to Jay āI literally said I was having Y/n and Lyla over in our messages!āĀ Ā
āYeah well I forgotā He rolls his eyes again, you cant help but observe the other four boys, you watch Heeseungs eyes, following them to Lyla.. that has to be considered eye fucking.Ā
You can't help but look at Jake though, he's wearing glasses. Are they prescription? Heās looking at something on his phone. He just showed Sunghoon something on his phone that made him smile. Sunghoon looks at you for a second before nudging Jake's shoulder, Jake is looking at you- is he looking behind you? You turn your head slightly, before looking back at him, why is he smirking-Ā
āFine! You keep the movie room well just go in the living room. Just don't snitchā Jay pleads, not even embarrassed that he's begging in front of his friends, Gigi just beams proudly, knowing she's won when they walk out.
ąØā”ą§
āSheās a virgin?!ā Jake practically yells, making Heeseung, and Sunghoon's eyes snap to him.Ā
āYouāre so fucking lucky the movie room is noise cancellation.ā Jay says pinching his eyebrowsĀ
āAnd- I don't even know if it's true, I just over heard Gi talking on the phone with her and Lyla a few weeks backā Heeseung and Sunghoons attention on the movie long forgottenĀ
āAre you talking about y/n?ā Heeseung asks curiouslyĀ
āThere's no way, I mean yeah she's like quiet and shit but she has some experience right?ā Sunghoon adds
āI don't know man, but her and Gi became friends at the beginning of the school year, she's been over a few times. She's pretty chill.ā Jay saysĀ
āSo she doesn't have a boyfriend?ā Jake asks, brow raisingĀ
āI thought you liked them experienced Jake? You fuck with little virgins now or what?ā Heeseung says smirkingĀ
āI mean sheās cute, nothing wrong with teaching her a thing or twoā Jake says with a knowing look on his face
āShe doesn't really talk to guys thoughālike at all. Gi always complains that sheās too busy studying. But she's hella smart, tutoring and shit-ā
āWait, she tutors?ā Jake's ears perk up at that
āYeah she came over to help Gigi with chem the other day.ā Jay says casually, like he didn't just give him the golden ticket to your personal space
āAre you serious?ā Sunghoon says looking at him
Heeseung glances between the two, picking up what they're hinting at. āIt's kinda risky, I mean girls like that- they aren't like, easy you know? Plus you're literally one of the smartest on the team.āĀ
āYou think she's actually gonna be interested though?ā Jay asks
āI bet she'll see through that shit the first tutoring lesson honestlyā Sunghoon says, making Heeseung laugh
āYou think I only pull the easy ones?ā Jake watching the both of them
āThats all youāve done this whole time-ā Heeseung starts
āAlright bet.ā Jake says, making the three of them pause
āBet?āĀ
āYeah, I'll get her to fall for me.ā Jake says confidentlyĀ
āYeah rightā Heeseung adds
āShit- I mean what about Clara though?ā Sunghoon asks
āWhat about her? Im not fucking her anymoreā
āYou realise the shit she's gonna give y/n if you actually go through with that?ā Jay says
āYouāre basically setting her up for failure, Claras fucking crazy.ā Heeseung says
āI still dont know why you decided to fuck her in the first placeā he adds
āProbably because of her personality.ā Jay says through a laugh
āNah fuck her, she wont mess with y/n like that, shes not that desperate.ā Jake says, but deep down he doesn't know if it's 100% true. Is he really setting you up for failure with this?
He's pulled from his thoughts when you come walking out of the movie room, coincidentally.
He only saw you sitting down, but now he's taking you in fully. Hoodie, shorts, fluffyā¦cat socks.
You pause when you see them all staring at you before awkwardly smiling and going to the kitchen to grab more popcorn.
Lyla and Gigi sent you out because they got it last time, but that's when there wasn't a group of guys you hardly knew in the living room.Ā
Jay nudges Jake's shoulder before glancing to the kitchen, hesitating a beat before standing up and walking over.Ā
You're looking through the five different popcorn options, who even needs that much popcorn anyway.
He watches as you choose the āextra butterā one before speaking āGood choiceā He says, walking further into the kitchen
āOh- um thanks, it's the best oneā You say, opening the microwave to put the popcorn in, he looks down at your legs, then back at your face when you turn around
āY/n right?ā He says, watching your face
āYeah, I know who you are already though.ā fingers toying with the end of your hoodie
āOh? You've been to a game?ā He says, taking a step closerĀ
āNo- I mean, I don't really watch football like that or anything- or sportsā You say, looking back at how much time is on the popcorn, 50 seconds.Ā
50 more seconds of this extremely weird interaction between you and one of the most popular guys in school.Ā
He notices, he doesn't like that. āYāknow we have the same 3rd block.ā
āOh- AP Anatomy & Physiology?" You ask, but you know exactly what he's talking about, how could you not. Heās the 9th one to arrive in class everyday, everyone swarms his desk like a bunch of baby ducks just to talk to him.Ā
āYeah, I sit in the third row-ā He's pauses when the beep of the microwave interrupts him, you silently thank the universe before pulling the popcorn out and mumbling something like āenjoy your movieā before practically running back to the movie room, leaving Jake confused, but also intrigued, most girls fall to their knees the second he gets within a 5 feet radius, so why did you just run away..
He walks back to the living room, sitting down, āTold you, easy ones onlyā Heeseung says through a laugh
ąØā”ą§
You're the first person to walk into AP Anatomy & Physiolgy on Monday, as always. You take your usual assigned, unassigned seat in the back row by the window, unpacking your bag, getting settled.
Your teacher walks in shortly after, sheās gotten used to you being here first. āY/nā she says over the silence āYes?ā
āAre you okay with talking about how you're offering tutoring?ā setting her own stuff down
"I'll have you do it at the end of class.ā she adds. āOh- yeah, I printed flyers for it too.ā You say, and she smiles.
The students slowly file in, your eyes flick up to the door when the 9th person comes in. Jake.
The second he walks in his eyes are on you, you don't know why you feel hot all the sudden, like someone turned up the heater when he looks at you
Barely having any time to take in his outfit, you tap your pen on your paper, hoodie and jeans maybe?
You stop when you see the familiar frame take a seat next to you- Why is Jake sitting next to you, does he not always sit in the third row- You don't look at him, instead looking down at his shoe in your peripheral vision, because it would be weird to look at him. Even if you do feel his eyes on you.Ā
The class flies by, you write down whatever your teacher puts on the board, trying not to be distracted by the noticeable presence beside you, if he had an aura around him, it would be clashing into yours because this whole time you've been weirdly affected by his close proximity.Ā
ā..And y/n has something to say as well.ā Your teacher says, pulling you from your thoughts,you watch as everyone's heads turns to you before you stand up and walk to the front, clearing your throat
āHi- im offering tutoring for anyone who needs extra help, any subject, um- here are the flyers if you're interested.ā you say quickly before placing them on the teachers desk and walking back to your seat.
There's nothing you hate more than public speaking like that, you try to subtly calm your breathing. Jakes eyes are focused on you the whole time.
As soon as the bell rings youāre practically already out the door, Jake watches you stand up abruptly and rush out before he goes to the teachers desk to grab one of the flyers.
ąØā”ą§
āI don't know- she didn't even spare me a glance, like at all.ā Jake says, setting his bag down on the bench in the locker room
āI told you, she doesn't talk to guys like thatā Jay mutters, tying his shoe
āPretty boy lost his charm huh?ā Heeseung chuckles, shutting the door behind him
āNot completelyā Jake says, pulling out your tutoring flyer from his bag
āYou sneaky motherfucker-ā Sunghoon eyes him, grabbing the paper from his hands
āHoly shit- you're actually going through with that?ā Heeseung looks over Sunghoon's shoulder
āJust to prove a point?ā Sunghoon asks
Jake doesnāt have time to reply before the Coach comes in, yelling at them to āget the fuck out the locker roomā
ąØā”ą§
As soon as you get home, you pause when you see a suitcase by the door. āOh y/n- took you long enough, you remember Chris right?ā She sayās coming out of her room with a duffel bag
āThe guy you went on a date with?ā You ask, seting your backpack down
āYeah, the rich oneā She says with a smirk
āAnyways, heās taking me to Boston for a trip!ā She says excitingly
āBoston- what? Didnt you just meet him though?ā You ask, brow raising in confusionĀ
āI think he might be the oneā She says smiling, the same smile sheās put on every time she says that.
āUm- well how long?ā you ask, trying to register this whole thing
āHmm- like 2 and half weeks-ā
ā2 and a half?! Mom- what the hell?ā
āCalm down, I hate when you get like this y/n.ā She says, putting her duffel bag on her shoulder
āTheres money for food, and whatever you need on the counter. It's not like I'm leaving you here to starve.āĀ
āBut-ā
āShit- I gotta go, ill call you when we land okay?ā She says, giving you an awkward side hug before rushing out, leaving you confused as ever. This is what always happens though so you don't know why you're confused. Sheās probably just doing it for the money anyway. Marry a rich man, use him to provide for us. It's pathetic.
The time was 9:46 when you receive the message. A number you don't know, you click on it
Unknown: Hey, Is this y/n?
You: Who is this?
Unknown: I got this number from your tutoring flyers
sitting up, this is the first person to actually text you about that
You: Oh yeah, what subject do you need help with?
Unknown: AP Anatomy & Physiology
You: Okay perfect, I have an A in that class so I can definitely help
You get your notebook out and a pencil
You: How soon do you want to start? And what's your first and last name
Unknown: Can we start tomorrow? I have practice everyday except Tuesdays
Practice? No way. You feel your heart beat pick up, This cant beā
Unknown: First names Jake, last names Sim.
The Jake Sim is texting you, about.. Tutoring. Is he not one of the top students though? You take a deep breath before typing back a reply
You: Okay, Tomorrow works. Does after school in the library work for you?
Jake Sim: Yeah im good with that
Jake Sim: Iāll see you tomorrow y/n
You shut your phone off, trying to ignore the way your palms are sweating a little too much right now, who even uses peoples names like that in messages?
Jake smiles down at his phone before swiping out of the chat.
ąØā”ą§
You're early. You're also early everywhere you go. You already set up your computer, and notebook with his name at the top, even after you erased it 3 times.
He walks in, you notice immediately, looking up from your paper, his hair is framing his face, no glasses today. White shirt with jeans. He smiles before sitting down across from you, you smile back, trying to seem less awkward.
You try to remind yourself, this is a mere tutoring lesson, so you'll act like it.
āSo I just need to know what you're struggling on before we actually get into the teaching stuff.ā you say looking at him, his eye contact is intense, it's hard to hold it.
He pulls out his own notebook
āMainly muscle contractions,heart anatomy, andā He pauses before looking up at you ā-Hormones.ā You hesitate a beat before writing that down under his name. He notices.
āOkay, I can work with this- is there anything specific you don't understand? Is it a focusing thing?ā You ask, genuinely concerned āI actually pulled up your average and you seem to be doing fine-ā
āIt's my memoryā He says quickly āI have a hard time understanding, when the teacher talks it doesn't really comprehend well.āĀ
āOh- that's completely normal, are you more hands on?ā You ask
He smirks āAnd visual.ā
You look like you're actually deep in thought āOkay so, we would need to do more interactive studying, makes sense.ā You say writing more stuff down
He watches you, the way your brows furrow in thought.
āAre you going to the game next Friday?ā He says, your eyes flick up to him, confused at the sudden question
āI don't really go to football games or anything- Thats more Lyla and Gigiā You say, eyes traveling down for a split second when his tongue wets his bottom lip
āYou should comeā He says casually, like time has no affect on him
āWe really should stay on taskā
āIf I pass the test next week will you come?ā
Your caught off guard by the question, his heavy gaze on you making it worse
āUm- Iāll think about itā You say before writing more stuff down, he smiles slightly
ąØā”ą§
The next week goes by quickly, thankfully. Your mom has only called once, claiming she forgot to say she landed, even if it was a day later.
Home is lonely, its quiet but its good for studying. Your thoughts drift to Gigis family sometimes, even though her and her brother argue half the time, at least she has someone.
Youāre pulled from your thoughts when you hear your name being called, not by the familiar voice of your friends but by..Jake?
Lyla and Gigi both look behind you, eye brows raised as he comes closer, standing infront of your table in the cafeteria
You watch the way people look at him, the heads turning to you, the attentionāitās too much
āY/nā He says looking down at you
āI might be a little late for tutoring today, coach wants to talk to us about the game.ā He says, making Lyla and Gigiās eyes flick between you two
āUm- Okay, But you couldnāt have messaged me that?ā you say, trying to ignore the gazes on you from people youāve never spoken to in your life.
āI mean you were already here so-ā
āYeah just text me next time okay?ā You say, avoiding eye contact
He looks over at his friends, watching their snickers. Oh hell no.
You think heās going to walk away by now but he sits down, right next to you. That makes Lyla's jaw practically drop
āWhy? You donāt like talking to me?ā He says, watching you intently
āI never said that- you just cause a lot of..attention.ā You say, looking around before looking at him
āYou donāt like attention?ā
āNot from this many people.ā You say standing up, grabbing your bag
āWhere are you going-ā
āI have to go.ā You mumble before putting your bag over your shoulder and walking out the cafeteria, not looking back because you know if you do, everyones eyes will be on you.
As soon as the doors shut behind you, you let out a breath you didnāt know you were holding.
āReally?ā Gigi asks, watching Jakes confused face
āYou realize youāre like a magnet for attention right?ā Lyla says
āAnd thereās nothing she hates more then that.ā
āI was just asking her about tutoring.ā Jake says, standing up to walk back to his friends
āNice job man, you really do still got it huh?ā Heeseung says through a smirk, making the others stifle their laughs
āShouldāve put money on itā Sunghoon adds, earning a glare from Jake
ąØā”ą§
Jake came in late like he said, 15 minutes to be exact. He looked out of breath, like he ran here.
The tutoring session was fine, you kept that professional exterior even if you were trying not to feel embarrassed about earlier, thankfully he didn't bring it up.
āAren't hormones just when you're horny?ā He asks, pencil raised above his paper, looking at you
You pause āDid you really just ask me that-ā You didn't mean to say it out loud but you did, it makes him let out a chuckle, he bites his lip, something he does often, a little too often. To the point where you can't help your eyes follow when he does it.
āOkay um, let me think of how to word thisā you say, looking down at your paper before back up at him āItās not just what makes you- āhornyā but I guess that could be a way to describe it, a more..scientifical word is Steroid Hormones..ā
He watches you talk, even if what your saying is hardly registering to him, because not only are you talking to him about sex hormones or whatever it is, but you're not wearing the same knit sweater you had on earlier, you must have taken it off, because he cant pull his eyes away from the way your tits look in that tank top-
āJake?ā Your voice cuts through his thoughts, his eyes find yours again.
āHow are you supposed to pass this test when you canāt even focus?ā You ask, completely unaware of how he was just looking at you
āShit- sorry, what were you sayingā He says a little bit more nervously than he intended, why is he so damn nervous, why do you even make him nervous?Ā
āHm, you need something to do with your hands.ā You say casually, taking him by surprise
His mind races with what you mean, please, please ask him to finger you.
He pauses when you pull out a rubix cube, a fucking rubix cube and hand it to him- what the fuck is he supposed to do with this shit?
āYou said you were more hands on, one of the other students I tutor is also like that. Whenever she uses that, it's like sheās more focused, you should try it.ā You say smiling, encouraging.
He doesn't know why he feels relieved when he hears the word āsheā, but he does.
He takes the object from your hand, fidgeting with it for a few seconds before you continue
The rest of the lesson is smooth, who knew a rubix cube would actually work. You try to stay focused yourself though.
The constant bounce of your leg to settle whatever your feeling when you watch the way his fingers work the object in his hand, it should be illegal to have that many veins in the first place.
Later that night, in one of your moments where you give yourself a break from studying.
Heating up the leftover pasta you made the other night, you get a text. Your body reacts before your mind does, heartbeat picking up
Jake Sim: I tried the practice test thing you showed me earlier
Jake Sim: Got a 100%Ā
You smile, when he sends a picture of his laptop, the score on it saying just that
You: Good job
He frowns at his phone, that's all? No titty pic as a reward?
Jake Sim: Guess I'll be seeing you at Friday's game then :)
You: Well see if your studying shows then
Jake Sim: I'll make sure it does
ąØā”ą§
āY/N!ā you hear Jake yell after you, you stop to turn around, seeing him walking up to you, leaving Heeseung and Jayās side as he comes into step beside you.
Youāre still not used to the pointed looks you get from the people around you, but you're training yourself to pretend they aren't there.
Heeseung and Jay watch as Jake rushes to you like a damn puppy, looking at each other.
He hands you a paper, you take it looking down at the big 100% on the top āYou actually did it!ā You say smiling, before looking up at him beside you
He puts a hand on his chest, with a fake gasp āAnd to think you doubted meā He stops at the cafeteria door, pulling you aside before you walk in, facing you away from the people who keep looking at you. The nosy motherfuckers who canāt help but take attention to you ever since heās becameāfriends? With you.
āSo you'll come to the game then right?ā He asks, doing that thing where he bites his lip
āThats what we agreed on, plus Lyla and Gigi are going tooā You say, watching the way his eyes light up
The last few people file in the cafeteria, leaving you and him alone.Ā
āYāknow what the theme is right?ā He asks, and this time you're genuinely caught off guard- theme? He notices your confusion right awayĀ
āEvery game has a theme, pretty sure this oneās western, like cowboys and shitā He says watching your face, the way your eyebrows knit in uncertainty
āLyla and Gigi didn't tell you?ā, you shake your head softly
āIm surprised- they always go like all out for the themesā He says through a quiet laugh
Great. That only means they are going to make you go all out too.
You both pause when the final bell rings, walking in to the cafeteria like its the most normal thing, your steps falter when you feel the eyes on you, you look at your friends before glancing at Jakes group- why are they all staring at you-
āIāll see you later y/nā He smiles before walking to his table, you sit down in front of Lyla and Gigi who are both looking at you knowingly
āWhat?ā you say through an awkward laugh
āYou know damn well whatā Lyla says through a smirk
āTutoring my assā Gigi adds back
āGirl I do not look at my tutor like thatā Lyla says, holding back a laugh
āLike what-?ā
āLike I want to eat him the fuck up- because thats how The Jake sim was just looking at your ass-ā You almost choke on your water, making her and Gigi laugh
You look down at the table to hide your blush āWell, you guys also didnt tell me there was a theme at the game.ā You say, crossing your arms
āOkay when was the last time you checked the group chat y/nā Gigi asks, you pull out your phone
āThis morning..ā You say scrolling through the message thread
Lyla: Okay so what are we wearing tn
Gigi: Themes cowboy right?
Gigi: You know how much my mom and dad LOVE that costume shit
Gigi: I have so much stuff for it at my house
Lyla: Wow gigi inviting us over
Gigi: I can take u guys home after school
Lyla: YES
Lyla: We have to look GOOD, especially you y/n
Lyla: For you know
Gigi: Jake
Lyla: Okay shes probs not even on her phone
You swipe out, just to see if your mom said anything, you click on the messages to see a sunset picture and city buildings, typical.
āSo, can you come?ā Lyla asks
āYeah sure- but we donāt have to go all out right?ā
They look at each other before looking at you, the smile on their faces tells you everything you need to know
ąØā”ą§
āThis feels like a lot..ā You say looking at your outfit in her bedroom mirror
āNo y/n- you look like, hot.ā Lyla says, choosing one of the 7 cowboy hats Gigi brought out
āThis is the final touchā She says before putting it on your head
This is quite literally the opposite of you, completely. Itās something you would never wear if it weren't for them, you wonder what your old self before you transferred schools would think. From the white fitted shirt, to the jean skirt, down to theācowboy boots..
You adjust the red bandana on your neck so its not choking you uncomfortably
Gigi watches your worried face āI promise the others will be doing 10x more than us.ā She reassures you, you look at them in the mirror, Lyla's shorts that hug her curves, Gigiās shirt that compliments her body perfectly.
This feels very..them. You can't help but feel like an outsider trying to fit in.
āJake will love itā Lyla says, hiding her smirk
āWhat- Jake?ā The thought of Jake seeing you in this makes you nervous..but also exited? What would he think, would he expect you to wear this?
You're pulled from your thoughts when the man himself sends you a message
Jake Sim: Hey y/n were gonna grab food after the game
Jake Sim: Wanna come?
Jake Sim: Lyla and Gigi can come to
Jake Sim: I already told Jay not to bitch abt it lol
Your fingers hover over the screen
"Quadruple text is crazyā Lyla says through a smile
Gigi peaks over your shoulder āI do not want to hang out with my brother for fun.ā She says, rolling her eyes
āCome on Gi! The others will be there too and! Heeseungās fine assā Lyla says, looking in the mirror to adjust her push up bra
Gigi just puts on her boots with a shrug
āY/n say yes please!ā Lyla says, practically jumping up and down
āFine- fineāĀ
You: Yeah sure.
āUm- Thats all?ā Lyla asksĀ
āWhat do you mean?ā
āI don't know, maybe say something like āI'm so excited!ā or āgood luck!- you know what just give me the phone.ā Lyla says snatching it from your hand and sending a message
You: Good luck Jakey! I'll be cheering you on! ;)
āWhat the hell- is there a way to delete this, how do I-āĀ
āReally Ly? Heās gonna know thats not y/n, she like never uses emojisā Gigi says cringingĀ
āMaybe if he wins he'll give you good dick?ā Lyla says shruggingĀ
Your face goes red, this topic, talking about him-
āYeah so that definitely wasn't herā Jake says putting on his cleats
āJakey? Really?ā Sunghoon mimicksĀ
āI wouldnāt doubt if Lyla took her phone honestly.ā Jay mutters
āLyla's coming right?ā Heeseung asks, putting on his jersey
His friends look at him āWhy?ā
āI mean shes hot as fuck dude, plus she totally looks at me all the timeā He adds, fixing his hair in the locker mirror
āYeah she's comingā Jake says, looking back down at the messages
ąØā”ą§
When you, Gigi, and Lyla get to the game a little earlier, they were not joking about people going all out. Compared to everyone else, your outfit was tame to say the least.
You three find a spot in the bleachers, your eyes scanning the field for one specific person.
You watch him, heās drinking water on the side right now- his helmet is in his other hand, how can someone look so good drinking water.
You watch as Heeseung nudges Jake's shoulder beside him, and then Jake's eyes are on you
āHoly fuckā He says to Heeseung
You cant see what theyāre sayingĀ
āI mean she looks like a cowboys wet dreamā Heeseung says, smirking
Jake gives him a pointed look, before turning back to you, the distance is good enough for him to see the way your skirt clings to your legs, and how good that shirt looks on you, Fuck.Ā
He waves at you, you look behind to see if it was someone else but there's no one behind you yet, you turn back to see him smiling at you before offering a small wave back
Lyla and Gigi are both watching from beside you, eyes flicking between you and Jake
You watch as Heeseung yells at him, and as he puts his helmet on before running over to him, a smile that wont go away ever since he saw you plastered on his face
āYou sure you're not just doing this for the love of the gameā Heeseung says, putting in his mouth guardĀ
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A statement that might be right. Because this doesn't feel like some childish bet anymore.
The first half of them game goes well, you dont really understand much. But from the way Lyla, Gigi, and the rest of the students are cheering, thats definitely a good sign. āIm going to get water, do you guys want any?ā you say, stepping off the bleachersĀ
āYeah- soda?ā Lyla says, before looking back at the field where a very sweaty heeseung is spraying water in his mouth
You nod before walking to the concessions, the line isn't too bad, so you just pull out your phone to scroll, when two girls come behind you, you wouldn't care normally but its what they're talking about that makes your hand pause over your screen
āI mean he hasn't even looked at me this whole time, which is crazy because not even a month ago he had me sucking his dick!ā One of the girls says, you look down to see pink cowboy boots
āHis very big dickā Her friend says
āRidiculously big. Fuck I miss it im not gonna lie.āĀ
āIsnāt he fucking with a new girl now though?ā You hear her friend say, you watch as the person in front of you takes way too long to order
āYeah some nerd ass bitch, teachers pet apparentlyāĀ
āI don't know Clara, she's like hella smartāĀ
You shut your eyes for a second, Clara, you recognize that name. That's the same girl who yelled at Jake in the cafeteria that one time
āI don't care how smart she is, that's literally my manāĀ
āGirl- he literally dropped your ass in front of the whole cafeteria..ā
Your attention is brought back when it's your turn to order, you pay for the drinks before going back, doing your best to avoid turning around.
āY/n?ā Lyla says, when you hand her the sprite
āYou look like you've seen a ghost, are you good?ā Gigi asks, concern laced in her tone
āYeah im goodā You say offering a tight smile, the bandana on your neck suddenly feeling too tight.
It feels like someone has their hand around your heart, squeezing it, because why did hearing those things make you feel this wayā Why is Jake even talking to you? Why did he even invite you in the first place?
You watch as the starting players go back on the field, but your mind can't focus when all these questions are flooding in. What does someone like him even want with you.
ąØā”ą§
You look down at your phoneĀ
Jake Sim: Hey me and the guys will be out in 5 mins
You read the message, before putting your phone in the pocket of your skirt, people are still hanging around, the players usually shower after a game apparently.
Exactly 5 minutes later Jake comes out, jeans, and a black zip up hoodie with a white shirt underneath, his bag is on his shoulder, his hair is still wet from the shower, and you cant help the heat that goes to your face when he waves to you.
You look past him to see the rest of his friends coming out behind him, you see Heeseung whisper something in Jake's ear that makes him roll his eyes.
āGood job- you were great out thereā You say, fixing the cowboy hat on your head
āI had good motivationā He says, eyes on your face before they drift to your clothes, finally seeing you up close like this.
āAlright can we go now? Im hungry as fuck.ā Jay says, interrupting the moment
You turn to Lyla, who's talking to Heeseung, then to Gigi who shrugs
āY/n, I can drive usā Jake says, bringing your attention back to him
āOh its fine I dont-ā
āThat's a great Idea!ā Lyla says a little too loud, making everyone's eyes go to herĀ
āTheres not enough room in Gigi's car for all of us anyway, so it works outā She adds, calculating smile plastered on her face, she ignores the pointed look you give her
āAlright yeah whatever can we just go now before I die of starvationā Jay says, making Gigi roll her eyes āfat ass.ā She mutters before walking to her car
āYou did not just call me a fat ass Gi- Werenāt you the one who ate all the fucking leftovers-ā You and Jake watch them walk to the car, before you and him walk to his.
You curse Lyla for leaving you with him like this- when he smells so good and his hair is wet, and his hands-
āYou look really pretty,ā He says, putting his bag in the trunk before opening the passenger door for you. āThank you-ā You reply back quietly, trying to ignore the way your heart hammers in your chest.
But how many other girls has he said that too- that girl Clara?Ā
He gets in the Drivers seat, and starts the car, watching the way you look out the window. Immediately noticing the way you shift
āSo, for the first football game you went to, how was it?ā he says pulling out of the parking lot
You turn slightly to look at him, the way his face concentrates on the rode, but also managing to talk to you āIt was funā You smile before looking back out the window
āDid you get anything from the concessions? I heard they added slushies and stuff.ā He says, tapping his finger on the steering wheel, trying to seem unbothered by the way your energy shifted the second you stepped foot in his car
The mention of drinks has your mind going back to the conversation you heard earlier, what if those girls had knew you where the one they were talking aboutā
āYeah just some, um..water and stuffā You say, trying to avoid the way his eyes are pinned on your head
4 minutes of silence pass, except for the low music playing from the speakers, and the car's engine.
āIs everything good?ā He asks, eyes flicking between you and the road ahead
āWhatā yeah of course, why wouldn't it be.ā You say quickly, fingers toying with the hem of your jean skirt.
He doesn't buy it.
Your brows furrow in confusion when he pulls over, looking at him as he puts the car and park āWhat are you doing-ā
āTell me what's wrongā he says, hand still on the steering wheel, but eyes on you
āNothing's wrong?ā You feel that familiar heaviness on your chest
āY/n. you can't even look at me, did I do something?ā He asks, knuckles white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel
āYou can tell me whatever it is-ā
āWhy do you talk to me?ā You ask, finally looking at him
āI..I just don't understandā all the sudden it goes from you not even looking at me, and then you're asking to be tutored by me, and then you invite me to your game, and then im in your car-ā you continue, your heart beat rising with how much words you're saying in one breath. He doesn't interrupt you.
āAnd I really didn't think you needed to be tutored, honestly, you're one of the top students in our class- no, in our grade. But I did anyway, it honestly just feels like you pity me. Because why would someone like you want to be friends with someone like meā It just doesn't make any sense.ā You stop, breathing in heavy breathes, too aware of how close he is right now, how he's looking at you.
āI don't pity you y/n. I like spending time with you.ā He says, watching your face
āFuck- I mean, I took the flyer and the tutoring because I wanted to spend that time with you- whenever I tried to talk to you any other way you justā blew me off?ā He says, contemplating his words
He looks down at his hands before back up at you, noticing the way your features slightly soften
He lifts his hand to take the hat off your head, so he can fully see your face
āWhy would someone like me want to be friends with you?ā He repeats your question, you didn't realise how close you two got, faces nearly an inch away from each other
āI don't want to be friends y/n. I want more than thatāI fucking crave more than thatā His gaze drops to your lips, a silent question
āJake-ā You whisper out before he presses his lips to yours,you instantly melt at the contact, your hand finds the collar of his shirt, attempting to tug him closer over the center console, his hand holds the back of your head, threading his finger in your hair, he moves his lips against yours, slowly, testing, you follow his lead, letting go instead of taking control. He feels the way you let him, unable to hold the small groan that travels its way to your mouth through the kiss.
You pull back, breathing hard, opening your eyes to look at him, his lips have a slight shine from your saliva, he licks them before looking into your eyes.
You don't know what you're doing, you've never even done anything like this before, but the way heās looking at you, like you absolutely wrecked him gives you a new found confidence.
You sit up, before moving to get over the center console, he just watches you as you settle on his lap, his hands immediately resting on your waist āy/n-ā
ājust kiss meā You say, and he doesnt hesitate before pressing his lips against yours, this time its lessed controlled, he doesnt hold himself back.
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, his hands are touching everywhere, sliding up and down your back, before cupping your ass in his hands making you gasp into his mouth, he swallows that down, tongue running over your bottom lip.
You feel the heat pooling between your legs, shifting slightly, which makes him let out a broken sound before looking down, the way your skirt is riding up, how youāre sitting right on his hardening cock, he looks back at your face, kissing the corner of your mouth before he pulls you on him more, the friction making you let out a quiet soundā he needs to fucking hear it again, and you need to feel it again.Ā
It starts off slow, testing, in the way you roll your hips on him, you watch him throw his head back āFuck, baby-ā You grind down a little harder, in response to the name, he rolls his hips with you, the seam of his jeans catching your clit just right through your underwear, enough to make you let out small sounds that has his eyes rolling
He leans in to kiss you again, hands splayed on your ass to pull you impossibly closer, the kiss is desperate, frantic, tongues moving together in a rhythm like you were made for each other, there's no leader, no follower, this is just- the two of you.
āJ-jakeāā you let out, biting your lip when he grinds up, hitting the perfect spot, hes pulling you against him, controlling the way your hips move, fingers digging into the soft flesh through your skirt, He slides his hand underneath the denim fabric, to really feel you, groaning into your mouth at how warm and soft you are in his hands.
āYouāre going to kill me-ā You both freeze when a loud ringtone comes from his phone.
āShit- I forgot about the plansā he says, looking at his phoneĀ
Jay: Dude where the hell are you
Jay: Im srsly abt to order with out you
Sunghoon: we got u and y/n waters
Jay: -Missed call-
āWe should probably-ā
āYeahā
The warmth of your body is removed like a flash when you sit back down in the passenger seat, fixing your skirt, he tries to ignore the way his dick is throbbing in his jeans right now. Instead he watches you, the flush on your cheeks, the small smile that's barely noticeable
āWhat?ā You say through a chuckle, noticing his stare
āIm just really luckyā He says, before putting the car into drive and getting back on the road, even when you two get out of the car, walking into the restaurant, youāre still thinking about what he said.
Because no one has ever told you they were lucky to have you.
ąØā”ą§
The next week of school is fun, and easy. You still decide to tutor Jake, because he said it really helped him.
Even if it did lead to small kisses, you definitely weren't complaining. People still look at you two when you walk together in the hallway, he even invited you to sit with him in the caferitria with his friendgroup, they are actually really nice to you.
The best part is seeing Gigi and Jay argue, it's like having your own show to watch while you eat
You don't miss the way Heeseung and Lyla look at each other, or when coincidentally the both of them are late for lunch.
Under the table, Jake's hand is splayed across your thigh, everytime he laughs he squeezes it slightly, which makes you try and close them, but he notices. He notices everything when it comes to you.
ā..And not to mention Gigiās parents bought the good ice creamā Lyla says, practically about to burst from excitement
āOkay so it's like a pool party then?ā Sunghoon says, raising his eyebrow
āWell, just like with us though.ā Gigi says
āIm not trying to have half the school trash the house, especially when mom and dad get back tomorrow.ā She adds, you watch Jay nod
āIm inā Heeseung says, turning to watch Lyla āPerfect! What about you and Jake?ā She says turning to you both
āYeah im downā he smiles before looking at you
āUm- Ill have to check, but ill text you when I get homeā You say, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear
āOkay, perfect!ā She squeals
āJust come over any time after school thenā Jay says
You nod before glancing down at your phone, re reading the message from your mom
Mom: Me and Chris decided to stay a little longer, you have enough money for food still right?
Jake watches you āAre you okay?ā he says, quietly so no one else can hear
āOh yeah- im fineā You say, putting your phone down and smiling
ąØā”ą§
āI can't do this.ā You say as soon as you close Gigiās bedroom door behind you
They both look at you as you pull out the bathing suit from your tote bag, you watch Gigi cover her mouth to stifle a laugh
āYou canāt be seriousā Lyla says, standing up to take the middle school one piece swimsuit from your hands
āThis thing is hideousā She holds it up in the air
āIm not one to judge but you absolutely cannot wear that y/nā Gigi says, standing up to look at it closer
You bury your face in your hands, sitting down on her bed
āI brought like 5 different bathing suits, plus Gigi has a shit ton, and you are most definitely borrowing one.ā Lyla says, emptying her bag on the bed, you glance at the small strings, and shapes before looking up at herĀ
āWhat? I wanted to bring my slutty ones, I thought Heeseung would like themā She says smiling proudly
āAnd im sure jake willā She adds, wiggling her eyebrows
āYouāre so ridiculous Lyā Gigi mutters before tying her hair in a bun
You pick up a red triangle bikini top, and Lyla nods
āGood choice, these are the bottomsā She says, holding them up
āThese are bottoms? Like swimming bottoms?ā you say, taking them from her handĀ
āYup! Just try it on at leastā She smiles sweetly, waiting for your approval, you nod
āCome downstairs when youāre done okay?ā Gigi says, opening her bedroom door.
You look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, The bathing suit fits well, it's just..small. Like if you make one wrong move you'll definitely flash someone. You turn around to see how it looks from the back, not completely terrible- just a bit cheeky?
You think Jake might like it, not to mention the fact that you chose the red one because he mentioned he liked that color.
You pause when you hear the sound of male voices, they must be here. You take one last look at yourself before opening the door and almost getting knocked to your ass when you collide with something hard
āShit- y/n?ā You look up, JakeāYour eyes take in his form, the swim trunks, the white tank top perfectly stretched across his chest. His hair, messy, yet perfectly styled, before looking at his face. Heās smiling down at you
You're suddenly aware that you're practically half naked in front of him, You weren't even planning on going in the water, except for your feetāyou need to grab your shorts and put them on āI was just uh, I just need my shortsāāĀ
His hand trails down your shoulder, grabbing your hand before placing it on his chest, over his heart, you feel the fast beats of it, almost in sync with how quick yours is "You're making me nervousā he whispers, he takes a step forward so he's in the bathroom with you, shutting the door behind him softly
He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, testing to see your reaction before he pulls back to look down at you, you put your hands on his shoulders before leaning to kiss him again, he reacts immediately, hands on you the second you touch him, his hand starts at your waist before moving down to cup your ass in his hand, you gasp at the feeling, he kneads the flesh in his hands, squeezing it while kissing you deeper āYou look so fucking good babyā He says through heavy breaths, looking at your face
He moves until your pressed against the counter, before lifting you up on it, your legs spread slightly to make room for him, while keeping your lips on his.
The kiss is messy, desperate, his hands are on your hips, and you let out a muffled sound when he presses his hips against you, you feel it, the hardness of him against your thigh, you pull back to see the desperate look on his face, the way his cheeks are slightly red, his lips looking even more plump from your kisses
He takes his right hand from your waist, splaying it on your thigh, before he looks into your eyes, you nod.
You watch his hand inch higher, grazing your inner thigh, his finger tip brushes your core, making you shiver at the contact, he watches you intently before pressing his fingers against you, making you let out a shaken breath
Leaning in to brush his lips across your jaw, before slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of the bathing suit bottoms, finally feeling your warmth āFuck, youāre so wetāā He says, looking down before kissing your neck, softly, reassuringlyĀ
He starts with small circles around your clit, testing to see what makes you feel good, your legs spread wider when he does small figure eights on your clit, hands braced on his shoulders as he presses open mouthed kisses to your neck, trailing up to your ear
His middle finger brushes your entrance, lightly, while his other hand comes up to move the hair out of your face
āHave you ever been fingered y/n?ā He asks, voice low, watching the way your chest falls and rises, you shake your head āDo you want to be?ā He says, biting his lip āY-yes, I want you to, Jakeā He presses his hard cock against your thigh, groaning at the permission
He connects his lips to yours, you let him in instantly, tongues dancing together before he slowly guides his finger in your entrance, ābreathe baby, you're so tightā he whispers against your lips, you close your eyes when his finger goes deeper, making you let out a quiet moan, his single digit stays there, embraced by your warmth before he curls it slightly making you whimper in his mouth āJakeā ā you let out through a wispy breathe
He moves his thumb to circle around your clit, in lazy motions ācan you take another, baby? Itāll feel even betterā kissing your cheek softly, you nod and he pulls out his finger, before inserting two digits, making you let out a desperate sound at the stretch.
He kisses you, in attempt to quiet you down, before moving his fingers in and out of you, curling inside, rubbing your clit with practiced ease
Seeing you like this, overhwemled by the pleasure heās bringing you could make him come right now.
āYouāre so perfect baby- this pretty pussyās taking my fingers so wellā He whispers, the filthy things making you clench around his fingers, he adds more pressure to your sensitive bud, āj-jake im gonna-ā
āYou gonna come for me baby?ā slightly picking up the pace his fingers are moving, fucking them in and out of you.
Your moans are only getting louder, he move his other hand to cover your mouth, muffling them so the others don't hear down stairs, he feels your hole fluttering around your fingers, so he moves them even faster, making it his life fucking goal to have you come from this
His eyes dont know what to focus on, switching from the way your tits slightly bounce, to the way his fingers disappear inside you, or to the way youāre looking at him, the dazed half lidded look, he presses against your clit just right, making you clench hard on his fingers as you ride your orgasm out, moaning into his hand, your juices coating his fingers and dripping out, he brings his hand back down from your mouth, watching the way your breathing slows, before pulling out his fingers, the loss of contact making you whimper with how sensitive you are
He brings his fingers up to his lips, locking eyes with you before putting them in his mouth, sucking your arousal off, the sight makes you let out a breathy sound, you can feel your pussy throbbing at the sight from exitement
Youāre blushing from the filthy act, he brings his lips to yours capturing you in a kiss, you can slightly taste your arousal on his tounge āYouāre so beautifulāā you both freeze when a knock on the bathroom door slices the moment in half
āJake are you in there man? Weāre trying to choose pizza toppingsā the girls said they dont care whats on the pizza, they just went outside claming they didnt want to āwaste tanning timeā I dont know-ā jay rambles on
āYeah im in here, ill be down in a secā Jake says, forehead resting on yours before he pulls back
āAlright- and if you find y/n tell her to come down tooā Jay adds
You and Jake listen to the sound of retreating footsteps
āWe should probably go down thereā he says, pulling back and helping you get off the counter
āYeah i just need to get some shorts-ā You watch as he pulls your bottoms back up, adjusting them before leaning down to press one more kiss to your lips
āIāll see you in a few minutesā He says with that familiar smirk on his lips, before walking out and shutting the door behind him, he leans against it for a second, still trying to process what just happened, before adjusting his extremely hard cock in his bottoms, and making his way downstairs.
You look in the mirror, pressing your fingers against your lips, the feeling of him kissing you lingering. Your body is still burning from the aftermath of your orgasm. You fix your hair in the mirror, going back to Gigiās room to put on your shorts
And finally making your way down the stairs, you pause halfway when you hear Heeseung's voice
āWho y/n?ā You hear him say
āWho else dumbass?ā Sunghoon replies
They're talking about you. instead of going downstairs you stay there, just to see what they're saying
āHave you told her?ā Jay asks
āNoāI canāt fucking tell her thatā
āYeah youāre cookedā heeseung says flatly
Cooked?
āI really like her, And not in some casual hook up way okay? I donāt know whats going on, and im confused because ive never felt this way before about someoneāā Jake says, breathing hard
āShit-ā You hear his friends say
āI dont give a fuck about some dumb bet, it was stupid of meāā
Your heart drops. Bet? What does he mean by that?Ā
āGod- Why couldn't you just go after her like a normal personā jay says frustratingly
āYou realise sheās gonna fucking hate you if you dont tell herā he adds
You walk further down the stairs, watching the way all four of them look at you
āW-what betā You let out, hating yourself for stuttering
Jake's face drops in realization that you heard that, you don't even look at his friends, the ones who made you think they actually liked you. You just watch him. It was all just some playāĀ
āWhat bet Jake?ā you say again, trying to calm your heartbeat, as he walks over to you, reaching for your hand
You swat his hand away ādont fucking touch meā and he flinches at that, hardly visibly. But he does.Ā
āY/n-ā He starts, you watch as the back porch door slides open, Gigi and Lyla walking in, with confused looks at the way everyoneās frozen in place, before their gazes fall on you
āIm going home. I- I can't do thisā You say, suddenly too aware of how everyone is looking at you, unable to even look in Jake's eyes, you turn around for the front door, Jake calls your name again but you don't hear it.
Not over the sound of your heart, not over the ringing in your ears.
You can't speak when it feels like someone has a wire around your throat and you can't breathe.
You shut the front door behind you, sitting on the stairs immediately, trying to calm yourself, trying not to cry. You can't cry. Not here.
You don't look behind you when you hear the door open and shut, please don't be Jake.
āY/n do you want me to drive you home?ā you let out a relieved sigh when you hear Gigiās voice, before standing up and nodding.
Gigi knows you, she knows you don't want to talk right now, so instead of pushing you, she turns up the music, looking at you every now and then as you stare out the window.
āYou all can eat shitā Lyla says looking at the four boys in the kitchenĀ
āEspeicially you Heeseung, for not fucking saying anything.ā She says before looking at Jake
āLy-ā Heeseung starts watching Lyla walk over to Jake
āHow could you do that to her? Youāre fucking terrible.ā She says before storming upstairs, leaving the four of them
āI need to do something- I need to call herā Jake says pulling out his phone, Jay stop his hand
āShe needs space Jake.ā He says, watching him as he lowers his phone
āFuck.ā Is all he says, because Fuck himself for being so stupid, fuck him for hurting you, fuck him for not telling you sooner, if anything he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.
But the least he can do is try.
ąØā”ą§
You cried as soon as you got home. You held it until Gigi drove off, she offered to stay but you never have people actually come inside.
Part of you regretted it, because you wish you had someone to hold you, even as you crumbled to the floor as soon as you shut the front door.
But you have no one. Not even youāre own mother, whose out with her new boyfriend, living her best life and leaving you in the past, like always.
Later that night you try and rememebr anythingāhow could you not see through it, of course it was some bet. He didnt mean anything he said to you, and you were stupid to think the most popular guy in the school wanted to āspend time with youā
Even as you shower, the memory of his hands on you not even 24 hours ago is still jarred in your mind, the reassuring touches, the praise.. But it was all just fake.
You couldnt sleep. For good reason. Every time you tried to close your eyes, your mind kept going back, trying to over analyze the situation, trying to think of an excuse.
It was 12:49 when you got the message
Jake sim: Y/n, im so sorry
Jake sim: Donāt shut me out
Jake sim: Please
Jake sim: Baby
Your press your hand to your chest, like it would stop the painful feeling in your heart.
You never answered him. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you finally fell asleep, you didnāt bother checking the time you did, because you knew you would just pity yourself.
ąØā”ą§
On Monday, youāre not the first one in class. Jake was. He sat in his seat next to yours, eyes flicking from your desk to the door, waiting for you to come in.
As soon as you walk in, he sits up straight, watching you walk, not towards the seat next to him but to some random one in the second row, where the guy who never shows up would sit.
He watches you take your stuff out of your bag, he looks down at the way your leg bounces, he hates himself because he knows heās the reason youāre so fucking anxious right now.
The teacher talks like its any other day. Of course she would, sheās not going to stop the school day because he fucked up. When the bell rings youāre the first one out, he goes to call your name but stops when you rush out of the door.
āI almost beat Jayās ass, like actually.ā Gigi says before taking a bite of the cafeteria sandwhich
āMom and dad nearly crashed out when they came home and saw I already was pulling his hairā She adds
āCan he stop fucking staring alreadyā Lyla says, looking at you then at the table 3 rows behind where Jake was looking right at you
āIm going over thereā Jake says to his friends
āUh no dude- youāre fucking notā Sunghoon says, tugging him back down by his shoulder
Jake shrugs him off before getting up to walk over to you, ignoring the exaggerated sighs from his table
āOh shitā Gigi mutters
āHeās like actively walking over here y/nā Lyla adds
You turn your head slightly to see him walking towards you, before standing up
āIm going to the bathroom.ā You say, grabbing your bag and moving towards the door
Jakes steps falter when he watches you get up, he wants to yell at you, tell you to stop walking away from him so bad. But he knows that would make it worse. He doesnāt look at Lyla and Gigi before turning around and going back to his table.
His friends are silent when he sits down, the usual snickers, or comments donāt come.
You set your bag down by the sink, bracing your hands on it, looking in the mirror, ādonāt cry, donāt cryā you whisper to yourself
āI mean I donāt get whats so fucking special about her, shes just like normal-ā You pause when you see two girls walk in, blonde, Clara.
āWell look who it isā She says walking further in, her friend beside her
āJakes little slutā She coos, looking you up and down judgementally
āIm not-ā You start but she cuts you off
āI want you to stop talking to him.ā she says, crossing her arms over her chest
āClara-ā her friend starts
āNo, this bitch needs to fuck off my manā
āYou can have him.ā You say, voice low
They look at each other confused
āI said you can have him.ā you say, louder
āJust leave me alone.ā you mutter, putting your bag over your shoulder
āThe fuck-ā she starts when you walk past her before pulling you by your bag strap
She pulls your bag off your shoulder, making it fall to the ground with a thud, you donāt turn around.
You wait for the hit. Because youāre used to this, You close your eyes, tight. Trying to block off everything, when you hear Lyla
āWhat the fuck are you doing Clara?!ā She yells, Gigi following in beside you
āJust teaching this bitch a lesson to not mess with my man-ā
āYour man?ā Gigi says with a scoff
āYou need a fucking reality check because he does not want your assā She adds, picking your bag up from the floor
Lyla comes infront of you āY/n are you okay?ā you nod, not because youāre okay, but because you have to be.
You block out the sound of them arguing, taking your bag from Gigi before walking out. Of course this would happen to you, and of course youāre running away.
ąØā”ą§
You dont talk about what happened the next day, they dont bring it up either.
They were laughing at something on Lylas phone when you got a text
Jake Sim: Are we still on for tutoring?
Jake Sim: In the library right?
You look back for a split second, over your shoulder to see him looking at you, his phone in his hand, you turn back around almost immediately, typing out a response, deleting it and typing it again
You: -Sent contact-
You: If you need tutoring so bad, he does Tuesdays too. Stop texting me.
You shut off your phone, putting it in your pocket, he watches.
Its like everything around him is silent. He cant fucking focus, coach even gave him shit for not doing good at practice yesterday. He tries to act normal, but the affect you have on him isnāt something that can go away.
āEarth to Jakeā Heeseung snaps in his face to get his attention
āMotherfucker thinks heās Jeff buckleyā Sunghoon says through a snort
āBrought it on himselfā Jay shrugs
āI need to get drunkā Jake says, running his hands through his hair, something hes been doing often lately
āAnd laidā Heeseung adds
āI canāt think about fucking another girl right nowā He says, checking his phone again in hopes you sent a message
āI mean I heard Jungwonās throwing a party after the game on Fridayā Jay says, looking at the group
āWhoās going?ā Jake asks
āShitāif its Jungwon then probably half the schoolā Heeseung says, rubbing his jaw
āYou know what, why not. The alcohol better not be shitā Jake says, making them laugh
ąØā”ą§
āPlease y/n! We can come pick you up and everything, I know youāre not going to be doing anything eitherā Lyla says through the speakers of your phone
āYeah, Fuck him, you deserve to go out, for once?ā Gigi adds
āWe know youāre not all that party type but just this once! Plus Jungwons house is nice as hellā
āI donāt know guysāWhat if heās there?ā you say worried, unlocking the front door to your house and shutting it behind you
āIf he was going, Jay would have said something. I know they have a game tonight so I doubt theyāre gonna wanna go to a party.ā Gigi says, opening a bag of chips
āOkay but what am I supposed to wear?ā
āDo you wanna get laid?ā Lyla asks
āWhatānoā
āIm just kidding, wear that one black skirt I let you borrow and those low rise jeansā
āI never even wore it though-ā
āExactly why its perfect! Well come get you at 10, love you bye!ā Layla says quickly before hanging up
You listen for Gigi, but all you hear is the faint sound of her arguing, presumably with Jay, before you hang up and set your phone on the counter.
You dont go to parties, ever. But here you are stepping out of your comfort zone, maybe its good that youāre. Maybe you need a change.
ąØā”ą§
āOh hell no.ā Gigi says once you all walk into the house, it's almost as big as hers, but you're not paying close attention to it because right now. instead you're watching Jake take down a shot in the kitchen.Ā
It smells like cheap alcohol and sweat. The place is packed, you take your eyes off him and look around, you recognize faces you've seen around campus, and some you haven't
You watch as Gigi storms over to the kitchen to Jay āWhat the fuck are you doing here?ā She asks Jay who looks at her like she has 2 heads āWhat am I doing here? Jungwon is my friendā He says back, you and Lyla walk over to the kitchen, following her.Ā
You don't look at him. You can't look at him, but you can feel his eyes on you.
āIāll tell mom and dad you ass-ā Gigi starts
āOh but that means they'll know you were here tooā He says, faking a pout
āShitā She replies, looking at you and Lyla
āFine, truce.ā She says, grabbing 3 red cups
You watch Jay hold out his hand, but she swats it away rolling her eyes before pouring whatever is in the bottles on the counter into the cups
āDrinks?ā She says, handing you and Lyla the cups
āPlease and Thank you, I need to find a hot guy to make out withā Lyla says taking the cup
āIm right here babeā Heeseung smirks, stepping closer to her
āLiterally anyone but youā She says, walking away from the kitchen, you watch as he follows her
You hesitate a beat before taking the cup from her hand, Jake doesnt miss the way your eyes flick over to him for a split second
āY/n can we-ā He starts before a familiar obnoxious voice flows in the kitchen, Clara.
You watch as she walks in the kitchen, wearing practically nothing before she comes to his side, wrapping her arm around his.Ā
āI think you have your hands full Jake.ā You say before walking over to the living room with Gigi
āGet the fuck off me Claraā He says, moving his arm
Sunghoon and Jay both look at him with annoyed expressions on their faces
āWhy Jakey? She said I can have youā Clara says, words slurred from the amount of alcohol she's consumed
āWhat?ā He pushes her back, not to hurt, but enough for her to get off of him
He walks over to Gigi, glancing at Lyla and Heeseung who are practically eating each others faces on the other couch āWheres y/nā He says, tone serious in a way that has Gigi sitting up
āWhy-ā
āTell me where she is Gi, im not fucking around.ā he says, watching Gigi point to the back porch
You turn around when you hear the door behind you open, leaning against the railingĀ
āWhat are you-ā
āY/n- Fuck, please let me talk okay?ā He says closing the door, the music and talking inside becoming a sound in the distance
āJake, I can't right nowā You say, looking down at your shoes as he walks over
āPleaseā His voice comes out slightly whiner than intended
āBaby, please look at meā He pleads, his composure gone. Heās done acting like he's okay with you avoiding him
You shake your head
He lets out a defeated sigh, you think he's going to walk away, give up.
You watch him lower himself to the ground getting on his knees just so you will look at him instead of the ground
āY/n please listen to meā He looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowed together, his pupils are blown. He canāt believe hes actually fucking doing this.
When you don't say anything, the words spill out faster than he can catch up
āIm so sorry babyā Im an asshole and I hate myself for what I did, I should have just told you from the beginning about the bet-ā he cringes at the word ā-It was selfish of me and I understand why you don't even want to look at me, let alone talk to me.-ā
ā-But I like you, so fucking much, Ive never felt like this before, but you changed that for me. Youāre smart, youāre fucking gorgeous, youāre too kind for your own good, and I want you so bad, I want you so fucking bad my chest hurts at the thought of not having you. Everything I said in the car that night was true. I like spending time with you and I don't want to be friends, because what I feel for you isn't friendshipāā He stops, trying to catch his breath, looking up at you, searching your face for any reaction, any response
Your hand is shaking when it comes up to his face, slightly brushing his hair out of the way āI..ā You close your eyes before opening them again, āI really like you too Jake. But you hurt me, I let you in and it feels like it was all just some trick.ā You say, trying to hold the tears threatening to fall from your eyes
āNo babyāIt wasn't a trick, please, everything I said to you I meant itāā He leans forward resting his head on your stomach before looking back up at you
āEvery touch, I meant it.ā His hand comes up to hold your waist, before he stands up, looking down at you, placing his finger under your chin, before running his thumb along your bottom lip āEvery wordā His other hand pulls you closer to him āEvery kiss.ā He whispers, leaning down, lips grazing over yours āI meant it all.ā
You're breathing against his mouth, hearts beating the same rapid pace āAnd I want it allāso bad, I want all of you y/n, I don't want you to hide from me, I don't want you to runā He says, cupping your face in his hands, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours
āPlease-ā
āI want it too Jakeā You whisper
His eyes fly open, searching yours, before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, taking you slightly by shock with how desperate it is, his left hand slides from your face down to your waist, holding you close, like you would slip away if he let go.
He pulls back, just to see the look on your face, a single string of saliva keeping you two connected before he kisses your neck, whispering small āim sorrysā as he trails his lips along your jaw, making you let out breathy sounds that have him weak.
He captures your lips in a kiss again, tongue exploring your mouth in the way heās been dreaming about ever since you started avoiding him.
He feels his cock hardening, he remembers the way he fucked his fist at the thought of having you like this again.
āFuckāā He breathes out, before biting your lip lightly, making you let out a small whimper. āI.. I need you baby, pleaseā He says, bringing his hand down to softly caress your ass in your jeans, you bring your hand up to pull him closer by the collar of his shirt to kiss him again before he pulls back āNot here.ā He whispers, voice low, looking into your eyes with such intensity it has your knees weak.Ā
With the way you're looking at him right now, he wants to do it now.
But heās not having sex with you at some dumbass house party. He can't help the smirk on his face when you whine as he pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you back inside, you don't look at anyone except him, as he guides you through the crowd, his hand clasping tight in yours, until you reach his car.
āWhat street do you live on?ā He asks, looking at you, before pulling out onto the road, you hesitate, he notices āY/n, no hidingā He says, putting his hand on your thigh. ā167 EN driveā you reply back quietly, part of you hoping he wouldn't hear. But you remind yourself of the words he said earlier, he wants all of you, he said he craves it. So thatās what he'll get.
You watch his face as he pulls in your drive way, looking at your house. You don't see the look of hesitance, or disappointment you were expecting.
Your anxiety boils down when he steps out of the car, and comes to your side to open your door for you. āYouāre not disappointed or anything?ā You ask, voice slightly shakyĀ
āDissapointed?ā He asks, genuinely confused
āI mean, my mom just doesn't make a lotā I know its not a good area to live in either-ā
āY/n, do you think I'd judge you for something as small as where you live?ā He asks, shutting the passenger side door
āI just thought-āĀ
āNo. Iād be a fool to think like that. Nothing you do could make me judge you, the idea of doing that in the first place disgusts me.ā He says, hand rising to brush his thumb on the side of your face, waiting for you to invite him in. He wants you to, he wants the reassurance that you trust him.Ā
You walk to the front door, grabbing the key hidden under the mat before unlocking it, and stepping inside. You cringe at the slightly peeled paint on the walls, but also thankful that having the house to yourself means it's actually clean for once. He shuts the door behind him, watching the way you look around, the insecurity showing in your body language. He turns you around to face him, pulling you close before tilting your face up.Ā
You look between his eyes and his lips before leaning up slightly, your lips grazing over his, before he speaks ātell me how bad you want this, tell me you want it as much as I doā He whispers, even though no one can hear him but you.
āI want it Jakeā I want it so bad, I just want you..ā you breathe out, and he closes the small space instantly, the feeling of your heart beating, the thrill of his lips on yours will never get old.
He lets you guide him to your room, before shutting the door behind him, he pulls back looking down at you. The needy look on your face as you try to catch your breath.
The room is dimly lit, the moon is bright from the clear sky, illuminating you, allowing him to see every emotion that flashes across your face.
He steps closer to you, hand coming to your waist, his thumb making small circles near the hem. You nod, and he slowly lifts your shirt above your head, eyes dropping to your chest, he can't help himself when his hand comes up to cup your tit in his hand, kneading the soft flesh through your bra. āYoure so beautifulā He says, guiding you until you land on your bed, He follows, on top of you in a second, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, itās careful, timeless.
You kiss him back, lips desperately grasping onto each other as his hand trails down your stomach to the waistband of your jeans, your breath hitches, he pauses looking down at you ācan I take these off?ā He asks, āy-yesā you manage to let out, not sure how you can even get out words when he has you like this.
He unbottons your jeans, sitting up to slide them down your legs, throwing them on the floor before looking at you, taking you in, trying to savor this in his memory.
He watches the way your legs close, stopping them with his hand "Don't hide from me.ā He says, pushing them open, looking down at the way your underwear sticks to your pussy, biting his lip at the sight, you let out a soft whine at being exposed like this, because no one has ever seen you this way, this vulnerable.
He presses a kiss to your neck, āHave you thought about this before?ā He asks, tongue flicking on a new found sensitive spot under your ear, you nod. He lets his hand trail down your body before cupping your clothed cunt in his hand, you let out a quiet moan at the contact.
āDid you touch yourself thinking about it?ā He kisses the spot under your ear, pulling the honesty out of you.
Your mind goes back to that night he kissed you in the car, how you made yourself come on your fingers at the memory of his hands on you later that nightā āyes.ā You say, the honesty makes him smile against your neck
āCan you show me?ā He whispers, sitting up again, watching the way you willingly trail your hand down your body, slipping your fingers inside the waistband of your panties to brush your soaking clit, closing your eyes.
You open them again when the bed shifts, watching Jake as he takes off his shirt tossing it on the floor beside your pants, before removing his own, you press harder on your clit when your eyes meet the bulge in his boxers, there's no way that's fitting in you. He watches your reaction, "I'll make sure you're ready for it babyā He says, palming himself. You slide your underwear off your legs, the fabric was making it hard to really touch yourself anyway.
Your hand slides back between your legs, circling your clit, the same way he did that time in the bathroom. āFuckāā He hisses, squeezing his dick at the way your hand comes up to toy with your nipple through your bra.
You watch as he climbs back in between your legs, leaning down to kiss your lips, trailing down past your neck, leaving a trail of wet marks until his face is hardly an inch away from your pussy.
You move your hand to grip the sheets beneath you āJake..ā You watch as he looks up at you from in between your legs. He blows on your clit, watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing. He presses small kisses to your thigh, grazing over your sensitive bud with his plump lips. āYou have no idea how bad I've wanted to do thisā He says before pressing an open mouthed kiss to your soaking cunt, you let out a moan at the contact, hands flying up to touch his hair as he repeats the motion.
You didn't even know you could be this vocal, but with him, eating you out like a starved man, how could you not.
He flicks his tongue over your clit, practically drooling onto your pussy, before pressing soft kisses āTastes so fucking goodā He mumbles into you, the vibration making your hips buck, his hand come up to hold your stomach down, so you dont squirm as much.
You watch him, his eyes are closed, face expressing true pleasure, your juices coating the bottom half of his face.
He looks up at you, burying his nose in your pussy, letting the bridge of it pressure your throbbing clit before he sucks on it, mouth clasped around your pussy, flicking his tounge, swirling it, you tug his hair harder, but he doesnt care because this is just too fucking good.
āOh my gosh-ā You let out when his finger comes up to collect your juices seeping from your hole before inserting the single digit inside of you, the sound of your pussy squelching, and him groaning into you has your back arches off the bed when he curls his finger, his tongue flicking over your clit, before he adds another, you've never felt this good in your life, you watch him, the way his brows furrow in concentration as he brings the most pleasurable experience upon you.Ā
He fucks his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right, while his lips suck on your clit greedily, he looks up for a split second at the way your head is thrown back, before shoving his fingers deep, dick throbbing at the way you clench around them, taking your clit in is mouth, and sucking it, hard. You grip his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as you reach your orgasm, your whole body shaking āJake!ā You scream out through a moan as your juices coat his face, soaking the bed beneath you. He greedily licks, and slurps everything you let out, not letting anything go to waste, before looking up at you. He pulls his fingers out slowly, watching the way your body trembles.
You bite your lip as you watch him sit up again, your arousal coating his lips, he runs his tongue along them, savoring every drop.Ā
He slides his boxers off, his dick hitting his abdomen, thick, heavy, and a bead of pearly white pre-cum at the tip, you watch as he spreads it on his tip, stroking himself in his hand. āYou wanna know something?ā He asks, watching the way your eyes flick between his face and his cock.
You nod quickly, making him smirk. āIve dreamt about this moment almost every night. I remember waking upāā He looks down at your bare cunt, continuing āTo see that I fucking came in my sleep.ā You can't help the small gasp that leaves your mouth at the confession, "That's not all.ā He says, pulling you closer, unclasping your bra and tossing it on the ground.
You bite your lip as the crisp air that hits your nipples, his finger comes up to toy with the sensitive bud, looking at your reaction, the little gasps that leave your lips āI fucked my fist so many timesāeverytime I imagined it was your pussyā He whispers, leaning down, letting his lips graze over your nipple, making you let out a desperate sound
āI thought about how youād react when I did thisāā He says before sucking on your nipple, his hand toying with the other one between his fingers making you moan, uncontrolled, you feel the way his cock rubs against your inner thigh.
He sits up, guiding his cock to your entrance, coating his tip with your juices from your previous orgasm. He slides the tip in slowly, letting your pussy adjust to the size, groaning, āBaby, I need you to relax okay? Can you do that for me?ā He asks, finger rubbing circles on your inner thigh āmhmā you breathe out, before closing your eyes, trying to make yourself less tense as he slides more of his length in you
āFuck- youre so warmā He says, hand moving to your hips to steady himself before bottoming out, a wrecked sound leaving his lips at the way your pussy clenches around him.
He leans down, head resing beside yours before lifting to look at you āIm going to move now, can you take it?ā he asks, voice strained, but gentle āPleaseāā You let out through a whimper, he brings his lips to yours before pulling out halfway and thrusting back into you, making you moan into his mouth at the stretch. His cock reaching places you couldn't even imagine with your fingers, the feeling of being so full is almost euphoric.
āIt's like this pussy was made for me babyāyou feel so goodā He whispers, sliding out of you again, and then back in, hips moving in an agonizing slow rhythm that has you holding onto his biceps and panting desperately in his mouth.
āF-faster?ā you manage to let out, making him chuckle lightly āYou sure?ā he asks, looking down at you and the way you nod frantically. His lips suck at your neck as he picks up his speed thrusting in and out of you, hips rolling, enjoying every sound you let out.
Your nails dig into his arms, your pussy squeezing around him āYou close baby?ā he asks, the moan you let out is enough for him to understand, āI wanna come in you while you come on my cock, please?ā the begging tone in his voice making you let out desperate pleas, his mouth is back on yours, both of you completely lost in the pleasure of each other, moaning against each other's mouths before he thrusts into you, hard, your pussy clenches around him, grinding up and down as you ride your orgasm out, at the same time milking his cock, making him whimper against you, saying your name though it all.
He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, before slowly inching his cock out, his cum spilling out of your pussy, you both wince at the sensitiveness, he pulls back looking down at you
āWhere's your towels baby?ā He asks, voice soft, you point towards the second drawer of your dresser, he grabs one coming back over to you, kneeling down to clean you up, you admire him, the focused look on his face, he looks up at you smiling āWhat?ā He says through a chuckle
āYouāre just really cute when you're focusedā He climbs up till he's laid next to you, pulling himself closer to your warm embrace, resting his face on your chest, making you let out a giggle before he looks at you
āI want to be your boyfriend y/nā He says, emotion raw in his toneĀ
āW-what?ā You're caught off guard by the question
āCan I be your boyfriend?ā He asks, voice low, almost shy
āPlease?ā he adds
You smile, biting your lip āyes, you canā You whisper, he tilts his head to kiss you again, embracing your warmth, you pull backĀ
āYouāre not going to get me flowers or anything?ā You ask brow raising
āOh, you just wait for tomorrowā He smiles against your lips
ąØā”ą§
Jake left your house that morning, kissing you goodbye, and saying to be ready by six at the latest, you were already dressed at 5.Ā
The second you hear a knock at the door you rush to get it, swinging it open, heart beating fast when you see him, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand, with a smile on his face
āJakeāTheyāre so prettyā You smile, taking them from his hand
āYouāre prettierā He says, pressing a kiss to your lips before taking your hand and dragging you to his car.
He covers your eyes with his hands when he makes you get out of the car āY/n you better not peakā he says, tickling your ear with his mouth, guiding you somewhere
āShit- dont tripā He says, kicking a rock out of the way
You let out a laugh at how stressed he is right now
āOkay, three, two..ā He removes his hand from your eyes, adjusting to the light you look around, at the open field, the sunset turning a pink/ orange hue in the distant, before your eyes fall to the setting before you, you cover your mouth with your hand, smiling against it as you look at the picnic before you
The Jake Sim set up a picnic for you at sunset. you can't help but giggle into your palm, turning to look at him
āIts perfect Jakeā You say throwing your arms around his neck, pressing a light kiss to his lips
He smiles proudly, taking pride in the fact that heās able to please you like this
He helps you sit down, before coming next to you, watching the way you glow from the golden light on you.
āYouāre telling me Heeseung, Jay, and Sunghoon made these?ā You say taking a bite of the small strawberry shortcake, the flavors melting in your mouthĀ
āYeah, they spent all day trying to figure out how, finding recipes and stuffā He says through a laugh
āSaid it was their own way of apologizingā He lifts his finger to wipe frosting from your chin, bringing it up to lick it, smiling at you
āTell them they're going to have to make me 10 more batches of this, because it might just be the best strawberry shortcake to date.ā You say, completely seriousĀ
āThey were considering opening a bakeryā Jake says through a laugh, that has you join him
As the sun sets, you lean on his shoulder, youāre not thinking about the stressful things in your life like you normally do in quiet moments, right now it's you and him.
And you're at peace with that, because you feel like you've finally found your person.
āThank you y/nā Jake says, turning his head to look at you
āFor what?ā you ask, voice barely a whisper
āForgiving me, letting me in, it means a lot to me. And I'm really glad you did.ā He says, moving a strand of hair behind your earĀ
āThank youā You say so quietly, he almost wouldn't be able to hear it, he tilts his head in question
āFor being there for me, and accepting me.ā You say softly, he smiles before he cups the side of your face in his hand pulling you closer, and kissing you, gently..lovingly.
ąØā”ą§
And if I wrote reader giving him head for the first time and he actually goes insane
pairing: best friends with benefit!heeseung x f!reader
content + warnings: friends-with-benefits, she falls first but he falls harder, smut, angst, porn with plot what's new, not proofread, switch!heeseung, switch!reader, drunk sex, kitchen sex, oral (both receiving), riding, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, angry and jealous sex mhmm, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, face riding, thigh fucking, nipple play, use of "good girl" - let me know if i missed anything!
word count: 8.1k / 8,167
bea speaks! when this is how i continue to cope... dada come back pls pls
.ā¦ ŻĖ
"HāHeeseung," you moan as your hand pushes him closer to where you need him most.
He gently swats your hand away, giving you a teasing smirk before pressing soft, lingering kisses along your inner thigh to avoid your heated core.
"I thought you were supposed to be enjoying yourself," he murmurs against your skin, but then rises to engulf you in a kiss again. You can taste the soju on his tongue, reminding you of how you got here in the first place.
Heeseung pulls away, reading your face like he knows something is up.
"You're overthinking again, aren't you?"
"No, keep going," you reassure, kissing him once more before he smirks and leaves a hot trail of open-mouth kisses down your chest, stopping above your core. With half-lidded eyes, you watch as he slowly gives in, his tongue sliding slowly up your center, deliberate and wet.
He doesn't rush. Your hips jerk with every lick when his hands hold you down with a firm grip every time you try to buck.
You close your eyes, letting yourself melt against him, but suddenly your mind snaps back to reality.
We're literally best friends. We were just drinking, and now he's tasting me.
Your heart starts hammering, and your cheeks heat up despite the way Heeseung is currently flicking his tongue at your bud, your senses heightened. His lips move with lazy precision entirely focused on you as if this is the most natural thing in the world.
Does he even realize? you think, a mix of thrill and panic flowing through you. You want to stop him and say something because of the lines you just crossed, but the feeling of him keeps your words lodged somewhere in your throat.
Before your thoughts can go any further, Heeseung suddenly pulls back, his hands sliding down your sides.
"Your eyes were closed for too long," he murmurs, then shifts to stand between your legs. The couch sinks as he sits next to you, pulling you onto his lap. He adjusts you, positioning you so that you're straddling him.
His eyes meet yours, filled with a mix of amusement and desire. "You don't even know how much I wanted this," he murmurs, low and rough, and before you can even respond he's pulling you into a heated kiss.
It's not gentle. Not teasing. It's teeth and tongue, the kind of urgency that makes your head spin.
"I want you to watch this time. No closing your eyes, no drifting off into your own world. Watch me."
Heeseung's hands move down to grip your ass, encouraging you to grind against his hard length trapped in his boxers. The sudden friction makes you gasp in his mouth, a string of saliva connecting your lips as you pull away.
He smirks and leans back slightly, letting his head fall against the couch. He looks up at you through his lashes, hands still guiding you. As you continue to grind against him, he slowly starts to pull his boxers down to reveal his hard length. He wraps a hand around it, pumping it as he looks up at you.
"Come here," he whispers, using his free hand to guide you over so you're hovering over him. "Sit on it."
You hold onto one of his shoulders as you position yourself over his cock, the tip brushing your entrance. He doesn't push you down but let you feel how hard he is.
"I want you to sink down slowly," he instructs softly, thumbs massaging your hips. You both look down, watching as you lower yourself onto him inch by inch. Heeseung groans, eyes rolling back for just a second before snapping back up to meet yours.
"Fuckāthat's it," he breathes, one hand sliding up to grip your waist as the other tangles in your hair and tilt your head back. "Bounce on it for me."
You nod, moving quicker. As a nod of approval, he leans back and lets you have full control. His eyes drop to watch where you two connect, his thick cock disappearing inside you slowly with each bounce.
"You're so fucking pretty like this."
The sudden praise makes you ride harder, quickerāanything to get him to finish quicker. His expression darkens as you pick up the pace, your breasts bouncing in his face. A low groan escapes him as he wraps both arms around your waist and pulls you down harder onto his cock with each thrust.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
He leans forward, sucking your nipple into his mouth as he hits that perfect spot inside of you. You whimper loudly, your breath heaving with every bounce.
"I'm gonna come inside you if you keep riding me like that," he warns.. He thrusts, meeting you halfway; they become erratic as he starts getting close to his high.
A pornographic moan leaves your lips as one of his hands slips between your bodies to rub your clit in rough circles. The knot inside of you becomes tighter, getting you closer to reaching your high.
Heeseung's head falls back, exposing sweat dripping down his neck and you feel his cock twitching inside of you. With a loud grown, he buries himself deep inside you and comes hard, streams of hot cum filling you up. His fingers work furiously on your clit until you're crying out your own release, convulsing around his cock.
He stays buried inside you, breathing heavily. Slowly, he presses a soft kiss to your neck, then another to your shoulder.
"Still overthinking?"
The next morning, the sunlight hits your face. You blink again slowly and start to become aware of the warmth beneath youāand the fact that Heeseung's arms are wrapped around you. Naked. On your couch.
You brain fires in every direction at once. Heeseung groans, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"Morning," he mutters, voice hoarse.
You sit up quickly, covering yourself with a throw blanket, and your eyes land on the coffee table. Empty soju bottles. Scattered shot glasses.
Your heart drops.
Heeseung finally sits up too, running a hand through his messy hair.
"I think... we got too carried away last night," he admits, smirking despite the hangover. You groan, burying your face in your hands. "We can'tāwe will never talk about this ever again. Promise?"
Heeseung leans back casually. "Promise. But, I mean, I enjoyed it. And I know you did too."
Your eyes snap up at him. "What?"
He chuckles, leaning closer. "I'm just being honest."
A few days have passed since the couch incident. Things have been quieter than usual, but you're not sure if it was because of pure embarrassment, or because you both enjoyed it way more than you could admit.
Heeseung [7:04 PM]: Hey. Need some help decorating for Jungwon's birthday party tomorrow. Come over?
You roll your eyes despite knowing you'd say yes anyway.
You [7:05 PM]: Fine. But don't be weird.
When you arrive at his apartment, it smells faintly of leftover take out he probably had before you arrived. Heeseung's already surrounded by decorations with a banner in his hand, giving you a ridiculous "I'm in charge" grin as you walk towards him.
"Perfect timing," he says, pointing to the scattered streamers and balloons. "I need someone to, y'know, make sure I don't fuck this up."
You start to unpack the decorations to lay them out, but every so often, Heeseung would lean close to show you a certain placement or to ask your opinion on something else. Every time he gets close, your chest does a little jump that you can't control.
By the time the last balloon is in place and the balloons are hanging evenly, you both collapse onto the couch, exhausted. Heeseung stretches out beside you, arm draped lazily over the backrest as you sink into the couch with a long sigh.
"Why did you choose to host it here again? It's going to be a pain taking all of this down," you complain.
He shrugs, giving you a smileāa "you're-helping-me-clean-up" smile.
You shake your head and look away to hide the blush on your cheeks. As you sit there, you try to shove every memory of that night aside, but it's impossible. The feeling of him beneath you, his hands gripping your hips, the low groans, the way he looked at you. The way he said "you don't even know how much I wanted this."
Your head shoots back to look at him, cheeks flushed. He leans in closer, enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. Before you can process it, his lips are on yours.
It's sudden and desperate, the kind that drags every thought out of your mind. Your hands tangle in his hair; his arms pull you flush against him. The couch creaks beneath you, a reminder of all the things you've been pretending to ignore.
When you finally break for air, you let out a shaken sigh. "We can't keep doing this," you whisper, although the tremor in your voice betrays just how badly you want to.
Heeseung smirks against your lips. "Who said anything about stopping?"
You stand up and try to run to the bathroom, but Heeseung was quicker, his hand catching your wrist to stop you. He turns you around and takes a step closer, his free hand reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
"You didn't complain when you were riding my cock. Not a single word. Now you want to change the rules?"
Your lips part to say something, but nothing escapes from between them. Heeseung noticed it.
"So unless you're seriously telling me you don't want this anymore," his hand slowly creeps under your shirt, holding your waist. "I'm going to keep doing exactly what we both want."
Without letting another second pass, you pull him in for a kiss, tongues clashing immediately. His arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against his body as he deepens the kiss, walking you backwards until you hit the wall. He lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist automatically.
He breaks the kiss to leave open-mouthed kisses down your neck. A soft moan escapes your lips, already feeling a familiar wetness pool in between your legs.
Heeseung groans against your neck as he brings you to his bedroom, the familiar smell of his cologne filling the room. Within seconds, you're falling onto his bed as he follows, gently pressing his weight against you.
His hand grips your thigh, spreading them open as his other hand easily slides under your skirt, fingers hooking onto your panties. He looks at you with a sly smirk on his face, seeing the wet mark from your flowing juices.
Before you could react, he pushes two fingers inside you, pumping slowly. You clench around his fingers, the feeling already making you see stars. You're too far gone at this point to tell him to stop.
He curls his fingers upward, hitting that spot inside you that makes your vision blur. When you start to grind on his fingers, he pulls his fingers out with a wet pop, bringing them to his mouth to suck them clean while keeping eye contact.
"Taste so fucking good," he murmurs, voice thick with lust. Wanting to take control, he lets you push him down easily, switching positions. He spreads his arms out to the sides, giving you full access as your lips attach to his neck, leaving a faint mark. A soft grunt escapes his lips when you suck lightly on his pulse point.
His hands fist the sheets beside him as you continue your trail downwards, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. When you finally finish unbuttoning him, the sight of his toned abs and chest almost makes you fold, finishing right then and there.
Heeseung's chest rises and falls rapidly with each breath. He's completely at your mercy right now, laying there as he waits for you to continue. His hand reaches up to grab your wrists gently when you don't move.
"Keep going," he whispers, begging almost.
You lean down to leave a gentle kiss on his lips as your hand trails down his chest, stopping right at his belt. He shivers slightly when your cold hand brushes against his abdomen, tongue sliding against yours slow.
There's a small whimper in the back of your throat when you feel him get harder against your palm, twitching with every rub. He breaks the kiss to watch you toy with him.
"Go ahead," he breathes, lifting his hips slightly off the bed. Just as your hand begins to trail lower again, Heeseung's lips part, eyes half-lidded, completely lost in you.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
He freezes, a strangled groan leaving him as his hips twitch uselessly against your hand.
"Ignore it. Probably the delivery dude," he murmurs, half-laughing.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Then you hear it. It's Jake's voice form outside the door.
"Yo, Heeseung! I know you're home!"
Heeseung groans, burying his face in the pillow, frustrated beyond belief. You bite back a laugh, squeezing his thigh tightly. He grits his teeth, hand gripping the sheets clearly torn between finishing this and answering the door. His cock twitches against your palm as you teasingly continue the job.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he mutters, voice mixed with frustration and lust.
"Maybe a little," you tease, leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth before pulling back. "But you should go answer it before he gets too suspicious."
He groans again. "Motherfucker."
Heeseung drags himself off the bed, telling you to wait here. You watch as he readjusts his pants, not caring for his unbuttoned shirt.
As soon as he opens the door, Jake's voice booms through. "Bro, took you long enough."
"Dude... I was shitting. The takeout did a number on me."
Jake blinks, then snorts. "Of course it did. Anyway, I just needed to drop off the cake for Jungwon's birthday tomorrow."
After a few moments, Heeseung returns with Jake on his way back home. You chuckle and shake your head when he falls onto the bed, disappointment flowing through his veins.
"Ugh... I was so close too," he mutters, mentally taking notes on how to take Jake down for cockblocking. You arch an eyebrow, a mischevious smirk playing on your lips.
"Who said we have to stop?" you tease, mimicking his voice from last time. He immediately shot up, eyes narrowing playfully, and then his lips are on yours again.
The next day, you find yourself walking up to Heeseung's apartment, a mix of nerves and anticipation twisting in your stomach. You keep telling yourself to keep composure; only you and Heeseung knows.
By the time you knock, your hands are slightly sweaty, and your heart is pounding. Heeseung opens the door immediately, grinning like nothing happened.
"Hey, you're late."
"Yeah... traffic," you lie smoothly, forcing a casual smile as he gives you a knowing look. Heeseung steps aside, letting you pass, but not before he brushes against your side slowly.
"Glad you finally showed up," he says lowly, almost caging you in to the wall. You thank that there was a small closet across the front door so the others couldn't see behind the wall.
You roll your eyes and take a deep breath before taking a step past Heeseung, trying to throw away the butterflies in your stomach. The living room is alive with chatter, music, and laughter.
Everyone turns towards you as you walk in.
"Hey! You're here!" Jungwon calls, his energy to the max. You grin and wave, wishing him a happy birthday as you step closer.
His eyes sparkle. "I want you to meet my friend Riki," he says, gesturing toward a tall guy leaning casually against the kitchen counter. RIki steps forward, extending his hand, but there's something in his eyes that makes your chest tighten unexpectedly.
You shake his hand, forcing a polite smile. "Nice to meet you."
Out of the corner of your eye, Heeseung shifts slightly, his expression tightening just enough that you notice. After a flicker of somethingājealousy, maybe?ācrosses his features, he smooths back into his usual grin when Jake approaches him.
The night flows on, and you find yourself laughing more than you expected. Having a conversation with Riki was easy. He's funny, sharp, and easy to talk to. Before you know it, you're completely absorbed in getting to know him.
"So... you're really good at keeping up with Jungwon but still look well, put together," he says, nodding towards Jungwon.
You laughter lightly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "Thanks. I've some practice surviving being around him," you reply, smiling genuinely.
Riki leans a little closer, lowering his voice so only you can hear over the music. "I bet you're even more fun when you're not trying to be polite," he teases, his eyes glinting with mischief.
You feel your cheeks warm up, caught off guard by his comment. When you look away from shyness, you catch Heeseung leaning against the wall over Riki's shoulder. His arms are crossed, watching you like a hawk, his jaw slightly tight.
Heeseung pushes off the wall and starts walking toward you. Riki notices too as his gaze follows your line of vision, and his grin falters when Heeseung gets closer.
"Hey," Heeseung says casually, "mind if I steal her for a second?"
Riki raises an eyebrow, stepping back with a shrug as he realizes the unspoken rules. "Uh... sure, I guess," he says carefully before walking away.
Heeseung smirks at you, nodding his head toward the hallway. "Bathroom?"
You laugh softly, heart racing. "Yeah, but not for too long."
The door clicks shut behind you, shutting out the noise of the party. The small bathroom suddenly feels too small, just the two of you and the quiet hum of the ventilation fan.
Heeseung presses you gently against the counter, his body just close enough to remind you of last night. His hands rest on either side of you, trapping you with that familiar heat.
"You know," he starts, "I didn't like seeing you so... entertained by someone else."
You bite your lip, heart racing. "I wasn't..." you trail off, the words catching in your throat when he leans in, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
He lets out a low chuckle, seeing the flush rising in your cheeks. "Relax," he says, voice teasing, but there's an edge of something darker. "I just want my attention."
You can feel the tension radiating off him, and itās making your pulse spike. The familiar pull you feel toward him is almost painful.
You laugh nervously, leaning into him. "I thought you were busy with the party. You're the host after all."
He tilts his head, lips brushing your temple. "The party's fine," he mumbles. "I can handle it. But you need to stop teasing me like that."
The way he says it low, is rough, loaded with unspoken frustration. You realize heās not just teasing; heās trying not to admit something.
Your breath hitches when his hand slides along your waist, trailing down to toy with the hem of your dress.
"I'm not doing anything," you insist, though your voice is shakier than you want.
Heeseung leans closer, pressing a kiss just below your ear. "Uh-huh," he says. "Sure you're not."
His lips brush against your skin again, and your thoughts spin: you shouldnāt want this, but your body betrays you with every brush and sigh.
His eyes darken as he finally leans in, brushing his lips against yours in a slow kiss. At first, itās gentle, testing the waters, but thereās a tension under it like heās holding back, fighting the pull he canāt deny.
Your hands instinctively find their way to his chest, tugging him closer as his tongue brushes lightly against yours. Teasing, that familiar mix of urgency and control that makes your heart race.
Just as the kiss grows more heated, a loud laugh from the living room breaks the trance. Heeseung groans softly, pulling back with an annoyed expression.
"Shit... not now," he mutters, pecking your lips once more before stepping back.
You step out of the bathroom side by side, adjusting your dress as Heeseung follows behind. The loudness of the party washes over you, but the heat between you two hasnāt cooled yet.
As you walk back into the living room, Jungwon waves you over, clearly still buzzing with excitement. "Finally! I thought you disappeared!" he laughs.
It feels like centuries have passed since you last saw Heeseung. Something inside you ached for him, but you remind yourself heās only your best friend.
You scroll through your phone with hesitation before typing a quick message.
You [4:56 PM]: Hey, you busy tonight?
Almost immediately, his reply pops up.
Heeseung [4:56 PM]: Not tonight. Have a date with Mei.
Your chest tightens, a little pang of disappointment twisting inside you. You stare at the screen, biting your lip. Part of you wants to hate him for being calm, for acting like itās nothing, but another partāyour selfish, frustrated partāwants him to fight for you.
You [5:01 PM]: Oh, okay. Have fun then!
Heeseung replies with a winky face emoji. You can feel your shoulders slump despite yourself, wishing for a spark of jealousy from him, just a hint that you mattered more than youāre pretending.
A few hours pass as you watch movies to occupy your brain. While cleaning up the snacks, your phone buzzes.
Heeseung [9:31 PM]: Done with the date. Come over?
Your heart leaps before your brain can protest. The answer is obvious.
When the door opens, Heeseung doesnāt hesitate to pull you in, pressing you flush against the door as his lips immediately find yours. He kisses you sloppily, desperate, hands gripping your waist tightly enough to bruise. Thereās a sharp edge in his urgency, like heās trying to claim whatās his before itās too late.
You pull back slightly, needing air. You catch a whiff of floral perfume on his neck; not yours. Something foreign. Yet, his hands grip onto you like youāll leave if he loosens his hold.
"Looks like you already had your fun with Mei," you reply, slowly pulling away further from him.
"Donāt," he warns immediately, voice low, pleading, but his body contradicts the words, grinding against you as if needing to erase the space between you.
Heeseung continues, "That was nothing. Just dinner. We didnātā"
He kisses you again, harder, like he can erase the evidence that easily.
"You taste better."
He pulls back, jaw clenched, eyes conflicted. You see the struggle in his expression: the fight between reason and want, between denial and need.
"You know what this is. Weāre only friends having fun," he breathes.
Hearing him say it knocks the wind out of you, but your mind drifts when he lifts your shirt over your head without waiting for a response. Your heart races and not just for the touch, but because heās exposing a vulnerability you didnāt expect him to show.
He tosses your shirt aside before his mouth latches onto your neck, sucking hard in a spot that makes your knees weak.
āHeeseungā¦ā you murmur, voice trembling, both from desire and from the tension you feel between the two of you.
His hands are rough as he unclasps your bra, kneading your breasts while leaving a soft trail of kisses along your collarbone. He looks at you like youāre the only person in the world, and you realize youāve never wanted someone like this, like you want him right now.
"Bedroom," he growls, and you follow.
Before he even closes the door, he grabs your hand, holding it against his chest. āYou know,ā he murmurs, voice low and intimate, āI donāt like doing it with anyone else. Even if itās just a dateā¦ I donāt like it.ā
You glance up at him, heart hammering. āIām not yours,ā you whisper, but the words feel hollow even as you say them.
Heeseung smirks, a dangerous, knowing smirk. āNot yet,ā he corrects, his hand sliding down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. āBut you will be.ā
Your legs tremble as he pushes you onto the bed, climbing on top. The familiar smell of his cologne, mixed with the faint scent of that floral perfume still lingering on his skin, makes your head spin. You can feel him pressing closer, his hands tracing the curves of your body as if memorizing them all over again.
Heeseungās fingers hook under your panties, sliding them down with a teasing pull.
āGod, Iāve wanted this so badly,ā he breathes, lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
He positions himself between your legs, sliding in slowly. The warmth, the pressureāeverything about him is familiar, yet every touch feels electric.
āDuring the dateā¦ā he groans, hips pressing in, āI couldnāt stop thinking about this. About you. About me.ā
Your chest tightens at his words, a mix of guilt and desire.
āYouā¦ shouldāve told me,ā you murmur, voice catching.
Heeseungās thrusts slow.
āAnd ruin the fun of making you want me even more? Never.ā His lips find yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, teeth and tongue colliding.
Your hands clutch his shoulders as he moves with a perfect rhythm, eyes locked on yours the entire time. āYouāre mine,ā he whispers between kisses.
You moan, breath hitching, your body responding before your brain can even protest. āHeeseungā¦ Iāā
Your fingers dig into the sheets as he sets a steady, urgent pace, each thrust hitting deeper than the last.
āI canātā¦ I canāt hold back anymore,ā he groans, voice ragged, eyes darkened with need. āI need you so badly.ā
You tremble, nails digging into his back, body aching as you ride the wave of his intensity. āI need you too,ā you admit breathlessly, finally letting yourself give in to what youāve wanted all along.
The next time you see Heeseung, it's under completely different circumstances. The air is cooler than you expected, a soft breeze brushing past as you walk beside him. Your hands are tucked into your sleeves, trying to seem casual but your chest is too full of nerves to pretend.
"So," you start, trying to sound casual, "Riki and I are going out this weekend."
Heeseung stops mid-step, his body stiffening just enough to catch your attention.
"Like, Jungwon's friend? You're serious?" His eyes flick to yours, sharp and guarded.
You shrug. "Yeah. Why?"
He lets out a low scoff and shakes his head, kicking at a small rock on the path, jaw tight, voice quieter now. "I don't know. I just thinkā" He cuts himself off, exhaling sharply.
"You can do better."
There it is. You almost laugh, but it comes out softer than expected. You glance at him, noticing how heās clenching his fists at his sides, the veins in his neck standing out slightly.
"You keep saying that," you reply, but he only responds with a shrug.
"Because itās true." Heeseung keeps walking, but thereās a hesitation in his step, like heās debating whether to continue or turn back.
You stop walking. He notices immediately, turning back slightly, eyes narrowing. You can see the conflict in his expressionāanger, jealousy, something deeper heās trying to hide.
"What?"
You tilt your head, studying him. "Better how?"
He opens his mouthāthen closes it again. "I just mean..." he starts, running a hand through his hair, suddenly restless. "You don't have to settle."
"Settle?" Your brow furrows, a mix of curiosity and amusement.
He finally looks at you, and the pause stretches out long enough that your heart starts to hammer. "For Riki?"
His eyes search yours, just for a second, as if heās hoping youāll change your mind without him having to say more.
The way his expression shifts is all the answer you need. You knew what he was thinking, yet you wanted to hear him say it to you like he does whenever you're underneath him.
You step closer. "Is it because you donāt like the idea of me going out with someone else?"
Heeseung shifts uncomfortably, brushing his shoulder against yours almost by accident, and then quickly pulls back, like he doesnāt want to admit it. "Itās not like that."
"Then what?"
"You're joking," he says, letting out a disbelieving laugh, but thereās tension in his shoulders, in the way he fidgets with the cuff of his sleeve.
You donāt laugh.
You see the flicker of something deeper crossing his face, but instead of stepping forward, he takes a step back, shaking his head. His eyes drop to the path, avoiding yours, and his jaw tightens as if holding back more than words.
"You don't mean that," he mutters under his breath. "You're justā"
"What?" you press.
"Confused," he finishes, quieter now. "This thing between us... it's notā"
He gestures vaguely between the two of you like he canāt even say it properly. "It's really not that serious," he chuckles, but the corners of his mouth twitch as if heās holding back irritationāor something worse.
There it is. The distance he keeps forcing between you. Your stomach flips, but you nod slowly, forcing yourself to match his tone.
"Right," you say. "Not that serious."
He looks back at you, and for a split second, his eyes soften before hardening again, betraying a flicker of regret.
Then he moves past you, resuming his walk, but you donāt miss how he stays rooted a second too long, like part of him wants to turn back. Your fingers twitch, almost reaching out, but you stop yourself.
āSoā¦ youāre laughing a lot,ā Riki teases, reaching across the table to tap your hand. āDo I get points for making you smile?ā
You force a smile, nodding. āYeahā¦ youāre pretty funny.ā But in the back of your mind, you canāt stop thinking about how Heeseung makes you laugh without even trying, how just his presence can make your chest feel tight.
The date continuesāwalking through the park, Rikiās hand brushing against yours once or twice. Your fingers twitch instinctively at the thought of Heeseungās hands on you, the way he held you so close, so possessively, that it burned into your memory.
Riki leans closer, lowering his voice. āIāve been meaning to askā¦ what do you like in a guy?ā
You freeze slightly, caught off guard. Your heart skips because you automatically think of Heeseung, not Rikiāthe way he teases you, the rough kisses, the familiar heat.
āIā¦ uhā¦ā you trail off, chewing your lip, trying to focus. āI guessā¦ someone confident. Someone who knows what they want.ā
Riki smiles, oblivious to the fact that every fiber of your being thinks about Heeseung at that very moment. You imagine Heeseung saying the exact same words, leaning closer, voice low and rough, eyes dark. The comparison makes your stomach flutter and your chest ache all at once.
Later, the two of you sit in Rikiās car when he's dropping you off, the engine idling as rain begins to patter lightly against the windows. Somewhere along the way, he turned towards you, closing the distance, lips brushing yours in a soft, tentative kiss.
You respond, because itās Rikiābut your mind immediately drifts to Heeseung: the way he kisses like heās claiming you, the rough urgency, the teasing murmurs, the way he made your body react without hesitation.
Riki moves his hand to the back of your neck, and you can feel his warmth, his closeness, but you canāt stop thinking of Heeseungās hands sliding down your sides, gripping your hips, and the flutter in your stomach is impossible to ignore.
The kiss deepens, Riki leaning into you, but your thoughts betray you. You imagine Heeseungās lips on your neck, his teeth grazing your pulse, the moans you could barely hold back in the quiet of his apartment.
You pull slightly back, blinking at him. āSorryā¦ Iāuhā¦ we should slow down.ā
Riki frowns, a little disappointed but nods. You clear your throat and give him one last, soft kiss before bidding your goodbyes with him.
As you opened the door to your apartment, you checked your phone, seeing it was already almost midnight. The notifications flooded in and one caught your eye.
Heeseung [Missed Call 9:07 PM]
Your heart skips a beat. You weren't sure if it was an accident, or because he knew you were going out with Riki today.
You [12:02 AM]: Hey sorry I missed your call
Heeseung [12:02 AM]: Thought I'd check in. How was your date?
Your fingers froze on the keyboard. Even the way he texts, asking about the date with Riki made you want to throw up.
You [12:04 AM]: It was fine. He's a nice guy.
Heeseung [12:04 AM]: Fine? Not great or fun?
You bite your lip, remembering Rikiās lips on yours in the car, but every time you try to focus, your mind betrays you. You see Heeseungāhis hands gripping your hips, his voice low and rough, his lips claiming yours.
You [12:05 AM]: I just didn't want to rush things with him so... it was fine.
Heeseung [12:06 AM]: Had to make sure you weren't thinking about me
Your chest tightens. Of course he knows. He always knows. You stare at the screen, heart hammering, fingers hovering over the keyboard.
You [12:07 AM]: Maybeā¦ a little.
Heeseung [12:08 AM]: A little? That doesnāt sound like you.
You feel a flush creeping up your neck. Even while kissing Riki, even while holding his hand in the car, it had all felt wrong because it wasnāt Heeseung. You canāt stop thinking about his lips, his urgency, the way he made your body react without hesitation.
You [12:10 AM]: Okayā¦ fine. It was you I was thinking about.
The screen goes quiet for a moment. You hold your breath, heart thumping like it might burst. Then his reply comes, short but heavy.
Heeseung [12:11 AM]: Figures.
Figures.
Just one word, and yet it makes your stomach flutter and ache all at once. Heās there in your mind, in every thought, and now heās here through the screen, igniting everything youāve been trying to push aside.
You [12:12 AM]: Do you wanna come over?
Heeseung [12:13 AM]: Yeah. Already on my way.
You drop your phone on the counter, rushing to the kitchen to find a drink to distract yourself. Within minutes, you hear the familiar knock.
You open the door, and there he is: Heeseung, a little rumpled, hair messy from the night air, expression cautious, unreadable but his eyes flick to yours the second you step inside.
āHey,ā he says softly.
āHey,ā you reply, forcing a smile.
Heeseung steps inside, taking off his jacket. You fall into step beside him as he moves toward the kitchen, the small space forcing you to walk shoulder to shoulder. The air is thick with awkwardness, neither of you saying a word, yet every brush of his arm against yours sends a jolt through your body.
Heeseung leans against the counter, his body angled just enough that youāre trapped in a quiet corner of the kitchen.
āSoā¦ Riki,ā he finally says, voice low, calm but thereās a sharp edge you canāt ignore.
Of course heās going there.
āYeahā¦ā you start, shrugging, trying to play it casual. But then, without thinking, you launch into all the little details.
āHeās so kind and caring. And he knows exactly how to make me laugh. And he brought me these stupid little chocolatesā¦ā You keep talking, gesturing with your hands, caught up in the memories.
Heeseung shifts slightly closer, the space between you shrinking, his body pressing almost right against yours as he leans on the counter. You notice the jaw tightening, the slight darkening of his eyes with every word.
You keep going, oblivious, or maybe too aware.
āAnd when we were in the car, heā¦ he kissed me. And it wasnāt just a kiss. It was like he really wanted me, yāknow? And I couldnāt stop smiling because it feltā"
Before you could finish, Heeseung's hand shoots up to cup your cheek, tilting your head slowly as his lips crash onto yours. Your eyes widen, but you melt into the kiss.
His body presses flush against yours, leaving no space, no room for anything, or anyone else. His hands move to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as his lips demand yours, urgent and raw.
You try to pull back, just a little, but his forehead rests against yours, his breath hot, his eyes dark with something fierce, something he canāt stand hearing anymore.
āYouā¦ā he breathes against your lips, voice rough. āI cannot bear you talking about him.ā
Your heart stutters, caught between shock, want, and that undeniable pull toward him. Every protest dies in your throat as he deepens the kiss, as if to erase every thought of Riki from your mind.
His lips are demanding against yours, tongue pushing past your lips to silence anything else you had to say. You can feel his hands trembling softly as they cup your face, almost like he was too scared to even touch you.
"Don't," he pants, "Don't go back to him."
His hand tangles in your hair knowing you love when he does that. His lips find yours again as he lifts you up on the counter, standing between your legs. You can feel the heat pooling between them, but your mind was too clouded to think any further.
Heeseung breaks the kiss into a trail of hot, wet kisses down your neck until he reaches your collarbone, not stopping because he has you right he wants you.
He pops open your jeans and pull them down, letting them drop to the floor.
"I can't stand the thought of him kissing you."
His voice breaks slightly as he runs his hands over your bare hips, then pulls you flush against him so you can feel him hard against your stomach.
"Only I get to kiss you like that," he breathes, "Only I get to touch you. Only I get toā"
You interrupt him, pulling him back down by his shirt, attaching your lips to his. His hand slides down between your thighs, palming your pussy over your panties. He grinds his palm, making you gasp.
Before you can protest, he pushes your panties aside and slips two fingers inside you, making you cry out against his mouth. Your hands fly back to hold yourself up on the counter as you feel him pump his fingers faster, curling to hit the spot.
His thumb rubs against your clit while he mutters against your lips, "I'll make you forget him, I swear."
He adds a third finger, pumping into you hard and fast, angry at the idea of Riki's hands ever laying on you. His tongue thrusts into your mouth in the same rhythm as his fingers, hungry for you.
You moan into him as fingers slow down, then fully pull them out to show you your slick on his fingers. He smirks, rubbing your clit once more.
"Heeseung, don't tease," you whimper, body twitching at his touch. He leans down to bite on your neck. You push him away, climbing off the counter and turning him to lean against the counter.
"What are you doing?" he asks, but you ignore him and bend down, hands already undoing his belt. His hips jerk, breath hitching as he watches you sink down to your knees, eyes never leaving his. His hands fly to the counter's edge, knuckles turning white.
"You don't have to..." It sounds like a warning, but he doesn't stop you.
Once his pants are down, his cock releases with precum already leaking at the tip. He continues to babble about wanting to only please you, but he immediately shuts up when you leave a soft kitten lick against his mushroom tip.
You take him in your mouth slowly, feeling him hit the back of your throat. His whole body tenses, a broken moan escaping his lip. His hands slide into your hair, not pushing, just holding you there.
"That'sā you don't have toā" his protest dies as you hollow your cheeks and suck. "Shit."
He lets you set the pace, hands trembling in your hair. He tried to look down, but he almost finishes inside your mouth when he saw the way your eyes were watering, your eyes glistening as you looked up at him.
You bob your head, taking him deeper each time, swallowing around him. He's moaning your name like a prayer, hips twitching with every blow. When you pull off to take a breath, he holds your head still from going back.
"I want to come inside you."
He helps you get to your feet, his hands already all over you like before. He looks at you like he's done something wrong, like you deserved better than whatever this was.
"I want to take care of you."
Heeseung cups your face, thumbs wiping the corners of your lips softly. It was such a contrast to how he just fucked your mouth. You look at him for another second, admiring his flushed face. Grabbing his hand, you drag him to your bedroom.
You push him onto the bed, straddling his hips and grinding against him. His face contorts with pleasure, but that comes to a halt when he holds you down, stopping you.
He grips your thighs, moving you up to sit on his stomach.
"Sit on my face, baby," he says, the phrase coming out as a command. You hesitate, and he can tell, but you shift forward and position your core over his face. His tongue is already lathering your juices before you could react.
Even though he's gone down on you a million times already, this position felt different. The pleasure easily overstimulates you.
Your hands fly up to hold onto the headboard as his tongue curls inside of you. His nose bumps against your clit with each thrust of his tongue. You tried to pull away with the stimulation being too overwhelming, but his arms wrap around your thighs to hold you down.
"HāHeeseung... I can't," you moan out, tears streaming down your face. His mouth is completely covered by you, muffling the dirty sounds of slurping as he tongue-fucks you mercilessly.
One hand slides back to squeeze your ass, pushing you further up his face. The sudden push made his nose harshly rub against your clit, making you moan and fall forward as you catch yourself against the headboard.
His thumbs spread your lower lips apart. "Ride my tongue."
You start to move on his face, grinding against his tongue as he looks at you. He groans loudly, the vibrations making you whimper. He sucks hard on your clit, his free hand moving to play with your breasts, pinching and pulling at your nipples.
"Cum on my face," he murmurs underneath you.
The pleasure was overwhelming, all your senses clouded with nothing but Heeseung's tongue. His tongue curled inside of you while his thumb quickly rubbed your clit.
You start to move faster, chasing your orgasm as he continues to eat you out relentlessly. When he bites down lightly on your clit, you feel the wave wash over you, your body twitching as your cum all over his face.
He doesn't stop, though. He continues to drink you even as you shake through your orgasm. His tongue keeps lapping at you, making sure he got every last drop.
"I can't anymore," you beg. When you finally come down from your second high, he kisses your inner thigh softly, pulling you down to his chest. As you lay there, Heeseung's cock presses against your thighs. His cock is already hard and leaking, ready to be inside you.
His hands start to roam your body possessively, squeezing your ass and pulling you closer to his erection.
"See what you do to me? I already got you off twice and I'm still rock hard," he shifts his hips, making his cock slide between your thighs.
When you whimper at the contact, he rolls you onto your back gently but firmly, settling between your legs. His eyes fall down to your core, puffy and swollen, glistening with a mix of his saliva and your cum.
His cock presses against your entrance, already slick from sliding it through your folds. He leans down to kiss you as he starts to push inside slowly.
You let out a quiet moan, feeling the way he stretched you out perfectly. He breaks from the kiss to watch himself slide into you inch by inch. His eyes roll back at how good you feel, your walls still fluttering from earlier.
When he fully bottoms out, he lets out a shuddering breath. He pauses for a moment to let you adjust to his size. Once he feels you relax around him, he begins to move slowly, pulling out almost all the way before sliding back in.
His thrusts are deep and steady, hitting that spot that makes your toes curl, moaning for more. He captures your mouth again, swallowing your sweet sounds as he picks up the pace. His arms rest on the sides of your head as your hands hold onto his bicep.
The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room along with your muffled cries. His thumb finds your sensitive clit, rubbing rough circles as he pounds into you. The angle changes as he sits up completely, hitting that spot dead-on with every thrust.
"You wanna ride me? Be my good girl and ride me," he says in between breaths, pulling out completely. He rolls onto his back and pulls you on top of him. You don't hesitate to immediately straddle him and sink down onto his thick cock.
He groans at the sight of you bouncing on his dick, tits bouncing with each movement. His hands slide up to squeeze your breast as you continue to grind him, fingers pinching your nipples.
"Heeseung, I'm so close," you cry out, hands flying to his shoulders as an anchor as he sits up, capturing your nipple in his mouth. His hand reaches between you, pinching your clit, knowing it would have you coming undone in any second.
He feels you getting tighter around him, your movements becoming jerky and desperate. He releases his lips from your nipples and captures your mouth in a messy kiss, swallowing your whimpers as he thrusts from below. You can feel the way his tip kisses your cervix, one second away from seeing white.
Your pussy starts to clench around him, your breathing becoming rigid against his lips. He thrusts up hard, holding you against him when your walls flutter, your head falling forward to rest on his shoulder while you orgasm. Your orgasm triggers his own release as you feel streams of hot cum shoot along your walls, his hands squeezing your ass as he finishes inside you.
Heeseung, still heavy inside you, groans softly as your breathing starts to settle. You stay pressed together, letting the aftershocks ripple through your bodies.
You pull back slightly, resting your forehead against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of him beneath you.
Heeseung shifts so youāre both lying on your sides, his arm draping over your waist, fingers lightly tracing your back.
āFuckā¦ youāre incredible,ā he murmurs, voice low and rough, but softer now, like heās letting himself feel something more than lust. You hum in response, heart still racing, chest pressed to his.
A quiet pause lingers, the kind of silence that makes the world shrink to just the two of you. Heeseungās thumb brushes over your hip repeatedly, like heās testing the waters for what he wants to say.
āIāā he starts, hesitating, swallowing thickly. āI donātā¦ I canāt exactly say this, butā¦ I think I mightā¦ likeālove you. A lot.ā
He immediately looks away, pretending itās casual, but the tension in his jaw and the slight tremor in his voice betray him.
You lift your head, brushing your fingers across his cheek.
He leans into your touch, eyes closing briefly as if drawing strength from you. Then, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, holding you close.
āJustā¦ donāt leave,ā he murmurs, half-laughing, half-serious, and you can feel in the quiet of the room that he means it more than heās willing to admit.
