Ill Find You In Another World

•personal blog

[whereverthewindblowss]

7/3/25

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I posted. So let’s see..

My FIL doesn’t have cirrhosis. He has stage 3 fibrosis and he’s still kicking. He’s lost some weight but is still heavy. He has some sort of blood disorder where he produces too much iron so he has to get some drained each month. Too much iron is what has killed the liver.

My husband got the fed job and has been in training for a little over a week. He’s coming home for a visit this weekend and graduates at the end of the year. So I’ve been single mommin’ it to three littles.

Our third baby was another boy! He’s 3 months old and so sweet and adorable. Def not having anymore kids tho.

I guess that’s it! I’ll try to post sooner than next summer 😂😘

[whereverthewindblowss]

My FIL got told he has stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver which gives him 12-24 months to live. We are waiting on an mri to confirm it. His family is being delusional thinking that him losing weight will help but it won’t if that’s the true diagnosis. If he passes way, we will end up with my MIL in some form or another. Tonight we talked about turning our shop into a house for her. Ugh. So many things going on right now.

We are still waiting for L to hear back from the feds about a job, if that falls through, he will work for the state, it’ll just suck a bit more. It’ll work out though.

Also, found out baby #3 is on the way 🫠 lawd.

[whereverthewindblowss]

Vent post bc I haven’t in a while:

I finally got on an antidepressant since having my second son and I finally want to do things again. Since 2019 I honestly haven’t cared about doing… anything. How the house looked, redecorating, doing a good job at work, literally nothing bothered me and nothing interested me. That should have been a big red flag that I needed to be on something, but I didn’t get the hint. I’m doing better now. Slowly making my house my own and redoing it how I want. I’ve guess I’ll have to be on medication like this for the rest of my life. The last five years definitely would have been easier I think. I know my marriage would have been.

Changes are coming to my family soon and I don’t like change. I know I’ll be fine once it happens but I hate the anticipation.

Sorry for being vague. I’ll write more later.

[whereverthewindblowss]

Today is one of those black cloud days, where I wake up with negative thoughts about things that haven’t even happened yet.

There’s a get together this weekend at Landon’s friend’s house. If it’s Sunday night like normal, he won’t get to go bc he will be at a concert. If it’s Saturday night, he’s already said he’s going to go whether I want him to or not. He thinks I don’t want him to have fun I guess, but that’s not it. He always gets drunk and acts like a fool and not to mention the girl he knows I don’t trust will be there. I hope it’s Sunday night so we don’t have to fight about this.

I also wish I wasn’t having to plan my own baby shower this go around. I know life isn’t fair, but I wish more people cared about celebrating this baby like they did my first.

I hope these things don’t play out like they do in my head.

[sixpenceee]

Stunning sunset! This happens because of a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering: cirrus clouds scatter the longer, red wavelengths of light and give the sky an orange or reddish hue | source

[did-you-know]

The human sigh acts as a reset button.

Source, Source 2, Source 3

[whereverthewindblowss]

I reset several times a day apparently

[whereverthewindblowss]

7/25

Anyone else feel like you’re just surviving the day til it’s bedtime? I feel like I have no purpose a lot of days and I’m just trying to get through so I can go to bed 😂 guess that’s motherhood. 🫠

[whereverthewindblowss]

Today I lost another friend. My friend Brandon Wilson passed away and my heart is shattered. We had a special connection from the very beginning and I could always count on him. I wish I would have texted him the other day when I thought about it. I pray he is at peace and healed now! I know everyone’s time on earth is numbered, but I sure wish God didn’t take the good ones so soon 💔💔

[whereverthewindblowss]

Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m tired of being unhappy and angry all the time and never having any energy. I have zero interest in anything and I feel like I’m just wishing the days away. My favorite time of day is when I go to bed at night. Ugh.

[8pxl]

pastel ocean tides ✨🌊

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[nothingbutloveforyou]

i think waiting together is a love language. wait for the train with me, so we can talk a little longer. wait for dinner with me, we can slow dance in the kitchen. wait for me until i can talk after crying my eyes out, hold me, we will figure it out. wait for me when it gets rough, i know i can get through this (with you). wait for me in the car, this song is too good to not finish listening to it. wait for the first snow with me, cold red noses and bright eyes. lets wait for each other, i love you.

[28-3]

Do whatever makes you happy, the days aren’t coming back.

[whereverthewindblowss]

12/31/22

Another year has come and gone. In January, I lost my dad. February, I had my baby shower. March, I had my first baby! 🥳 in April, I turned 31 🫣 Landon turned 28 in May. In June, I went back to work and was miserable. In July, things went downhill in our marriage, but we got into counseling right away. In august, I realized I was needed more at home than I thought. September was my last month being a UPS driver. Hello becoming a supervisor in October! November was a bit of a struggle adjusting to the new schedule. And December 24th was my last day at UPS bc that place freaking sucks. Right now I’m a stay at home mom looking for a job that is a right fit for me. I know I’ll find it 🧐 looking forward to 2023!

[whereverthewindblowss]

Sometimes I wonder if my dad would have done things differently if he knew we only had 30 years together.

Guess I could ask myself the same thing.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“People never learn anything by being told. They have to find out for themselves.”

— Paulo Coelho

[bnmxfld]

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

— Lemony Snicket

[whereverthewindblowss]

If I were ever going to leave, I’d do so quietly. You would never know I was gone. Do you even notice when I’m here? I don’t know why I thought I wouldn’t struggle, I’ve struggled my whole life! I’m not meant to be good enough for anyone or anything, so why stay? Why was I even made? It would have been easier to skip over me, leave me to the stars in the galaxy, create someone worth a damn instead. Now what am I supposed to do? You don’t love me, you only thought you did. But it’s too late, someone else will get hurt in all of this, a tiny soul that didn’t ask to be here. The only one I’m still breathing for. Lord knows you would move on tomorrow. If only I could go back in time..