I Get Burned

I post what I like.

[miss-marzana-hypno-deactivated2]

Reblog to make a trans girls tits grow.

[memewhore]

[bowtais-are-cool]

[wolg-fang]

[normal-horoscopes]

There once was a doctor named Freud

[happy-hudson-deactivated2023083]

who woman preferred to a-void

[whilommm]

bitch loved his cocaine

[normal-horoscopes]

But he couldn't explain

[triggerjolly]

Hatsune Miku vocaloid

[kotortwo]

heh... step aside ladies... let a real man handle this (does the exact same thing but worse)

[trewneollyn]

[invaderxan]

[masonicbeheadingritual]

[schistcity]

[cuntwarehouse]

this felt like some kind of modern poem. so,

[demilypyro]

Talks about my gender like people talk about the zelda timeline

[demilypyro]

Yeah there's an official version of it but it doesn't entirely fit if you look very closely so you have to suspend your disbelief a little but for the most part it works

[ispepsiokaysir-deactivated20220]

brian david gilbert struggling for an hour to explain my gender on youtube

[demilypyro]

[compyuter]

nobody really drops anvils that make people have funny birds and stars spin around their head anymore… they should do start doing that again

[paperandpencilsandskips]

So true, btw can you stand on this x over here? I think there’s buried treasure under there

[compyuter]

treasure? YIPPEE!!! (starts digging!!!!!)

[paperandpencilsandskips]

THOUSAND ENERGY BEAMS ATTACK

[compyuter]

[what-even-is-thiss]

I love this genre of tumblr posts that’s basically the online equivalent of playing power rangers on the playground

[bundibird]

Shout out to Liam Cunninham for telling the GOT showrunners to get fucked. I am so glad he stood his ground on this.

(X)

[observedchaos]

So the actors were really holding this show together with gum and paperclips, huh?

[feralsaarebas]

Words weren't enough someone should have given Liam Cunningham a gun

[brostateexam]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/la3xpq/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriends_coworker_that_were/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

👀

[biglawbear]

[argumate]

putting serious thought into this one before being utterly blindsided by the ending

[blinkanditsover]

Artist creates bird’s piercing gaze after dropping two Hula Hoops into coffee

[cremblr]

I LEGIT THOUGHT THERE WAS AN OWL IN THAT CUP

[jackwynandmoved-deactivated2017]

how the fuck do you drop hula hoops into coffee

[daniellechangedblogs-deactivate]

This must be a huuuuge coffee mug if you can drop 2 hula hoops into it.

[emilie-faith]

^they’re a kind of crisp in the UK

[scarlet-cyanide-deactivated2013]

you don’t know how hard i’m laughing at the americans who didn’t get it omg

[agxnt-scully]

if it’s not american it doesn’t exist

[00bel-blog]

what the fuck is a crisp

[ship-with-out-a-name]

I

[wanna-b-poet31]

It’s happened! The first Blaze post has haunted my dash, and it’s the fucking 95 theses. 

When I say hellsite (affectionate) this wasn’t the context I was thinking

[roach-works]

you wanna know something even funnier? the metrics report i got on the post at the end of the weekend showed absolutely garbage engagement. the post that inspired me to do it got thousands of notes. the post where i said i was going to do it got several hundred as my followers and mutuals cheered me on.

the post i paid an entire crisp and refreshing hamilton for got blasted out to more than 13 thousand dashboards… and then netted exactly 92 reblogs, because it’s a genuinely awful post and no one sane wanted to touch it. it’s a total flop… except this is like the fourth or fifth post i’ve seen about it.

i love this stupid website so much.

[curlicuecal]

it’s so hilarious that we’ve all accepted that when you buy a blaze post you’re not paying for exposure or notes or even advertising

it’s more like performance art

we’re just paying to annoy people and then talk about it

[gharibajameel]

horses are inherently funny because they come in so many sizes. like draft horses

this looks so fake. this horses skull is bigger than the dudes entire torso. this horses NECK is thicker than the dudes entire BODY.

and then at the opposite end of the spectrum you have shit like this shetland pony which ALSO looks fake

what the hell happened to this thing who bred this line of ponies to be so ridiculous

[hapalopus]

fun fact, while most mini horses and ponies look fat, like the shetland above, some are genuinely just scaled down versions of regular horses

you look at this and think “wow that’s a horse i bet I could ride that” but you’d be wrong because this is an american shetty and it’s the size of a large dog

also fun fact, this is the world’s smallest horse, thumbelina

and this is the largest horse ever, brooklyn supreme

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

I would fucking die for Brooklyn Supreme

[animalcrossingmemes]

[wumblr]

there’s a fucking furry at the mall!!!!

[wumblr]

what the hell is an “"easter bunny”“

[wumblr]

[goteveryonewatchinus]

My app crashed three times trying to reblog this, and I feel that was the universe trying to stop me from giving others whiplash.

[gamwthnzwhmou]

Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years

[phantomrose96]

All the talk about "oh Elon Musk's buying twitter now all the people who fled from tumblr to twitter are gonna come back here" and gotta say. I'm on edge. SOMETHING happened to tumblr between 2018 and 2020 that turned it from a warzone to a tolerable shitposting website and my one best guess has always been that the p/orn ban sent so many people packing to twitter that we ended up exporting all our native-grown gremlins to the bird site. I back this theory up by the fact that all batshit fandom drama I hear about these days comes from twitter.

So for most people coming back, happy to see you welcome have some tea or coffee over on the table to the left but if the shit-stirrers come back for me it's on sight. It's on sight. First time around I was nice I was like "oh I shouldn't engage if I'm the Bigger Blog that's a bad move to put smaller blogs on blast :(" free pass is up. I'll name and shame. I clawed my way back up from 6 feet underground and I'm not doing it again I'll defend this garbage tower to the death. PVP. I'll salt the earth I'll poison the water supply I'll burn the village down hand in unlovable hand I'll take everyone and everything down with me before I cede this stupid blog again it's on. sight.

Oh also there's some lemon bars too.